Long Live The Kane

Go back in time with me to when rap was young and innocent. Back to a time when guys with fun names like Biz Markie and Kool Moe Dee were at the top of the game. Remember when Just-Ice was probably the most terrifying emcee making records? Remember Big Daddy Kane, and how much diamond-studded pink canoe this dude pulled? Seriously, there was time when this fresh faded Lothario just uttered a few lines and the furback turtles came a crawlin'. Look at the cover: it's Kane's first album, and already he has women bringing him fruit, fanning him with purple peacock feathers, and offering him goblets of wine. When was the last time anyone fanned you? Right. Long Live The Kane starts of strong with "Ain't No Half Steppin,'" utilizing a sample from The Meters. Here Big Daddy makes it abundantly clear that he is a formidable emcee with his voice, delivery, and the fact that he mentions it about a hundred times. And in case you were unclear on Kane's role as a leader in the rap game, "Raw" contains more boasts, more bold claims, and once again the whisker biscuits get buttery at the confidence and swagger of the Daddy. "Set it Off" picks up the pace and shows why Marley Marl was one of the leading hip hop producers at the time. Kane still isn't done letting you know how badass he is. Big Daddy eventually takes a break from stating his own case to woo all the smelly jelly holes with a tender R&B ballad, "The Day You're Mine." Kane can't really sing, and this is before autotune, but it doesn't matter, the butter boat still comes. "On the Bugged Tip" is a fun number with a great guest spot by BDK ballwasher, Scoob Lover. More boasts, more beats, and Long Live The Kane has done its work. No half steppin'.

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Kings

No one in their right mind would dare dispute RUN DMC's roles as pioneers, and as awesome as their first album is, it was the sophomore release, King of Rock, that I believe was their pinnacle. Listening to this now the rhymes seem naive and a bit pedestrian, but when it released in 1985 it was the shit. The video for the title track was the first Hip Hop video to get play on lily white MTV, and RUN DMC were the only rap act invited to "step on stage at Live Aid," if I am to understand correctly, all the people gave and the poor got paid. The follow up to King of Rock, titled Raising Hell, was a commercial success that produced their biggest hit with the collaboration with Aerosmith, but in my opinion, it is a spotty album that doesn't hold a candle to King of Rock. Today would be a fine day to revisit this classic, you might be surprised at just how many of the lyrics you remember. R.I.P. Jam Master Jay.

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Too $hort: The 75 Girls Tapes

PLAYERS

DON'T STOP RAPPIN'

RAW, UNCUT, AND X-RATED

Mantronix The Blog Post

I think it's time we all snort a fat rail of outmoded electro-funk hippity hop from DJ Kurtis and MC Tee working together under the moniker Mantronix. Mantronix didn't fuck with sampling or turntables, their dope was pure uncut synth, archaic drum machines and vocoders. Yes, it's dated and corny but ultimately a good fucking time. Loosen up.

Man Up

Nothing To Fuck With

When you think of the '90s you may choose to remember flannel-wrapped dude bros from Seattle playing quiet, then loud, then quiet once again, but I want to remember the warriors with cryptic names such as RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, U God, Ghostface Killa, and Old Dirty Bastard that came together and made one of the coolest artifacts in hip hop, Enter the Wu-Tang 36 Chambers. Yeah, it's a simple trick mixing sketchy beats, classic Shaw Brothers martial arts flicks, and looped jazz flourishes, but you didn't think of it. And as if that wasn't enough, lyrically the Wu-Tang Clan brought a new twist to the tired old "I'll fuck you up" themes by pushing them past the ridiculous, around the corner, and down the block to the downright absurd. I am thankful for Wu-Tang and this record, without them, the '90s would have sucked even harder.

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I don't know about you, but I miss him.

R.I.P. O.D.B.

Motherfuck Future!!!

あらゆる理解できないに関しては行く発見されたHip Hop日本のnoisecore GAIの伝説はろばのBeastieのスマートな男の子の行った。 スペース侵略者は生まれた、複数の極度な衝突の喜びのEngrish音の記録解放されて。 私はここに第1いることを公正のに、驚く信じる何かタイトルを得ることができる99%の小便はある。

Motherfuck Future!!!

Criminal

In 1987, before mustached track bike hipster dicks, before Vice Magazine, Disney's dick in Times Square, and national tragedies, New York City was still a rough place, even rougher if you were young, black, and talented. The BDP crew knew this all too well, and when BDP member, Derrick "D Nice" Jones, was harassed and bullied by some toughs from the Highbridge projects in the South Bronx, he brought his most reasonable and respected neighborhood friend, Scott Monroe Sterling aka DJ Scott La Rock to help him smooth over the situation. It is unclear as to exactly what was said that night of August 27th, 1987, but as D Nice's Jeep Cherokee left Highbridge, it was sprayed with gunfire, and Scott La Rock was hit. When he arrived at Lincoln hospital he was conscious and was quite lucid, his friends and family had no reason to believe that he wouldn't survive the ordeal. However, DJ Scott La Rock was pronounced dead within an hour of the shooting, he died at the hospital, but did he have to? I don't want to open a can of worms as to the racial implications and disparity of treatment in medical facilities, I wish to avoid conspiracy theories, conjecture, and "what if" scenarios. Let's just leave it that it was a tragedy that probably needed not occur, a tragedy that truly robbed the world of a vibrant and creative performer on the verge of true greatness. I know I am not alone in wondering what Scott La Rock would have achieved had not a bullet and an avalanche of shitty decisions intervened so.

So what about the album that was left behind? Criminal Minded is a classic of proto hip hop and a perfect snapshot of life in the South Bronx at the end of the '80s. Criminal Minded can also boast a number of firsts, firsts that are now staples in hip hop and gangsta rap; it was the first rap record to feature the mebers brandishing firearms on the cover, the first to adopt a Jamaican toast-style delivery, the first to carry a first person crime narrative, and the first to carry any real beef/boast numbers with "South Bronx" and "The Bridge is Over" which were levelled directly at Queens based rappers Juice Crew. KRS One's voice is crisp, his delivery forceful and deliberate. The beats are simple and samples minimal. The end result is a primitive, early piece of hip hop history that alludes at bigger things to come, but still remains highly enjoyable two decades later. In my opinion, BDP's masterpiece was By Any Means Necessary, but it would have never come to be if not for Scott La Rock and Criminal Minded.

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Sex Style

I shouldn't have to explain to you how Kool Keith is the greatest, most gifted emcee in the game. I shouldn't have to remind you how this prolific eccentric genius is miles ahead of his competition at all times. Sex Style was Keith's 1997 album, his first solo effort after leaving Ultramagnetic MCs. Sex Style pushed boundaries in production, lyricism, and flow. It is a mindblowing accomplishment on all fronts that maybe turned a lot people off because of the cover art and title. At the albums onset, a Rudy Ray Moore sample establishes Keith as one who sympathizes with mack, pimp, and ho.The title track is a sleazy, sinister boast that mentions bestiality, indecent exposure, water sports, rim jobs, transexuals, masturbation, S&M, Madonna, all while KK explains why he is ultimately better than you. This sets the tone for the rest of Sex Style. Keith makes it a point to push forth two main points: He likes kinky sex and he is the best rapper in the world. Kool Keith also lays out his distaste for the industry in the track "Plastic World." More boasts, more deviant sexual behavior, more hooks, more beats, and Sex Style is over in an hour like a seedy encounter at the Sunset Gardens motel.

Drink My Piss

Terminator X

Time has shown that the coolest member of Public Enemy was by far Terminator X. He never scapegoated jews, debased himself with a disgusting reality show, and he never sued Notorious B.I.G. This isn't so much a proper solo album as it X attempting use his recognition and skills to launch the careers of some young rap hopefuls in 1991. Perhaps not the most successful venture. I mean Andreas 13, Celo, Dubmaster, and Chief Groovy Loo aren't exactly household names, but this is still the best PE offshoot record out there, mainly because Terminator X was so unique in his approach. This might have been better as an instrumental record. Still, it can rock bells.

Bring The Noise

Critical Beatdown

This late '80s classic by The Ultramagnetic MC's had a young Kool Keith so far ahead of his time I think this shit went over a lot of the heads of the Hip Hop set. Ultramagnetic, at the time, were the most skilled MCs on the East Coast (and possibly the world) and Critical Beatdown is the proof, and check out their duds on the cover, that is just pure Bronx style dope. I'll take that over that hideous Ed Hardy shit any day.

The Beatdown

Paid In Full

Another mandatory late 80s Rap classic. My friend Danny B had given me a tape of this album with Candlemass live on side B. It was my favorite tape, and now those two albums will always remind me of each other. Bring this back into your life for the Summer.

$$$

Comin' Through

Before Ice T was content playing streetwise cops on second rate TV shows he was a gangsta rap entrepeneur and pioneer. In 1988 he sought to uplift the careers of some of his favorite young MCs with this compilation Rhyme Syndicate Comin' Through. Sure this stuff is pretty dated but this has to be my favorite era for hip hop, the late '80s. Ice T himself kicks off the party with the Rhyme Syndicate theme song and comp title track, "Rhyme Syndicate Comin' Through." What follows is a number of young acts looking to make a mark, but the rhymes are varying in quality from awesome (Domination's "You Haven't Heard Nothin') to good (Low Profile's "Think You Can Hang") on down to forgettable ("Syndication" by a pre-House Of Pain Everlast) and bad (Bango's "Ghettosih.") Still, Rhyme Syndicate Comin' Through is an excellent chronicle of a specific scene, and ultimately that is what a good comp should do. I have to give mad props to the amazing Back 2 Da OG/Don't Bite Tha Phunk/One Eight Seven blog for bringing this back into my hopelessly caucasian life some twenty years later, thanks for not being all whack and shit. 

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It's Christmas Bitch!

So it's Jesus' birthday and every blog on the interwebs has been dragging out their Christmas rarities. So in keeping with this tradition here's perhaps the dumbest, most ill-conceived christmas album ever. Some motherfuckin' coal for your stocking. Oh, and yes, that would be Snoop Dogg with elf ears. Yup. Oh, and since it's Christmas and shit, go ahead and look at The Cosmic Hearse Wishlist over there to the right. Surely one of you out there is sitting on some of these items, even mp3s of some of them. Come on it's Jesus' fucking birthday, bitch.

Merry Whatever

Wreckin' Shit

You may remember Dr. Dre as the producer of the world's most dangerous group, or as the chronic smokin' g-funkateer who brought the world Snoop Dogg and Eminem. But before his rise to ghettofabulocity, he was a member of The World Class Wreckin' Cru. Nothing scary, or gang-affiliated here, just some old skool shit to get the party started.

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3000

If you had any doubts as to whether or not this is the best rap album ever made, please keep in mind that Pushead did the cover art and the lyrics mention Gorefest, Autopsy and Spazz.

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Death Certificate

Ice Cube's angriest outing since leaving NWA was by far 1991's Death Certificate. On this record no one is spared Cube's wrath and biting criticism. Be you black, white, a bitch, a ho, a Korean liquor store owner, a sellout, Uncle Sam, the police, you can't escape the sharp sting of Cube's always brilliant lyrics and keen observations. This is where it became abundantly clear to me that Cube was the true genius behind NWA. This record is essential. Kind of weird that this is the same guy who starred in "Are We There Yet?" But I choose not to think about that.

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Explicit Lyrics/Street Raps

Before becoming a full-time member of The Geto Boys, Willie Dee had a fledgling solo career that spawned this album, Controversy. Many of the songs on this album feature The Geto Boys and many of the songs turned up later on their Grip It On That Other Level album. So Why, besides the puzzling cover artwork, would anyone be interested in this? Well, how about cuts like "Fuck The KKK," "I Need Some Pussy," and my personal favorite, "Bald Headed Hoes"? That's right bald headed hoes, an issue that Willie Dee feels so strongly about he states, "I'm proposin' a bill to Capitol Hill to kill all bald headed bitches at will." This is is the enigma of Willie Dee, rapper, hair lobbyist, and, at one point, professional boxer. That's right, in 1999 after leaving the Geto Boys, Willie Dee had a short career boxing under his real name of Willie Dennis. He won his first two fights by first round knockout, boxed to a four round draw in his third fight, and then was knocked out in the first round by Kevin Butts. This pretty much ended his stint in professional pugilism. Now even though Willie Dee's infamous bald-headed bill never made it to the senate floor Mr. Dee deserves our praise and respect. Oh, and don't forget to vote today.

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Strictly Business

I'm by no means an expert on the hip hop, but I do believe that EPMD's first album Strictly Business is one of the greatest rap albums of all time, and it's probably because they sound incredibly high and Eric Sermon sounds like he has a mouth full of candy. Oh, and the line "I'm as deadly as AIDS when it's time to rock the party" doesn't hurt. Have you ever managed to get the words "AIDS" and "Party" into the same sentence? Didn't think so. Two guys, with about a hundred similes to tell you how awesome they are at what they do. Lazy and stoned, in 1988 this is about as cool as it got.

Chill

The Third Unheard

That's right, old school hip hop from, of all places, Connecticut, a state not generally known for much of anything. This compilation collects 14 amazing cuts recorded between 1979 and 1983, you know, when hip hop was playful and fun and not full of macho posturing assholes. The majority of the work here was the product of scene linchpin, Mr. Magic. Mr. Magic was a Fagan-like character who owned a record store and a label, both called Magic Records. The tracks aren't far from what their New York counterparts were doing at the time, just with a dash of Constitution state naivete. My favorite bits have to be the pre-pubescent Pookey Blow's "Get Up and Go To School" and "Ventriloquist Rap" by Willie Brown & Woodie. Willie Brown believed that rap and vetriloquism make for an exceptional cocktail of goodness, unfortunately the world wasn't ready. Are you?

Yo!