Streaming Sleaze with EXPLOITATION.TV #1 : JUDY

Streaming Sleaze Fans rejoice... EXPLOITATION.TV has launched.  With more amazing films at your fingertips than you can shake John C. Holmes massive dong at, I'm glad to re-review a few old favorites.  My hometown city, Boston, gets some love right out of the box with the Combat Zone set saga of tighty whitey wearing shit talkers and the dick known as Gunner Sloan!  


"I will say this though, every one of his victims has been an overt man pleaser..."

After a young girl is assaulted during a sketch session in the woods behind her home, her father, Mr. Fairchild, calls in a no shit taking private dick with a big heart, GUNNER SLOAN.  What a great name, and Dave Haller pulls off the only really interesting part of the movie by delivering some great soft boiled lines, such as this wangdoodle as his secretary checks in to see if he needs any release of tension from his tighty whities.  He obviously has a job ahead of him, saving prostitutes from The Combat Zone in Boston circa 1970.  Give the guy some action...

"Mr. Sloane, I didn't know you needed any help."

"Well, no man is an island, baby."

It's obvious that he needs to earn some cash and solve the crime for the Fairchilds, because those underoos are starting to look as dark as the Batman ones I was probably wearing when this was released!

But wait, that isn't what brings us here, I mean while GUNNER SLOAN may be quite awesome, there is actually a fun little potboiler in this flick, and when I say little I really mean it. The sex scenes, and showers as well, feature a bevy of mostly attractive women with sunburns taking time with men, with each other or just a bar of soap.  So, be ready to fish for the good stuff, but it's all set to a kooky little soundtrack that makes my head alternate between pain and a flashback to eating too much cotton candy outside Boston Garden and wondering if I could get over to those movie theaters down the street that showed movies downstairs and flicks like this UPSTAIRS as a kid!

 

Skin and Sunburns...these elements abound in JUDY!

Anyways, as for plot, our man GUNNER SLOAN is in deep with the cops as they try to solve the case, find out where Judy is, and every time the murderer strikes he seems to be right in front of GUNNER SLOAN's curve of absolutely no logical fashion of solving anything but how to get a few quarters to wash his damn underwear!  BUT... you get some cool moments that feature GUNNER SLOAN slapping his way through the naked underworld like Maurizio Merli drained of mustache power! Such as this!

No, she doesn't talk...but so it goes.  

And can we forget the romantic subplot with GUNNER SLOAN making promises he can't keep and the elusive "vacation after I finish this case" part?  Sure it's by the numbers, and Dave Haller was never in another film, but he reads it just right.  

 JUDY ends on a bit of a head clonker of a solution, but it doesn't matter, it's got the prerequisite skin, sin and even some "stylish" attack sequences that involve zoom lens work that makes it seem like Jess Franco with seizures!  It's breezy, easy and enjoyable with one exception. The opening minutes feature a LOOOOOOOONG lesbian scene that makes lesbian action boring.  Seriously, I didn't even know that was a thing, but this one...it's like a tongue fellating scene gone wrong.  Ew.  You can skip that and dive right into the film proper if you ask me, it will leave a better taste in your mouth by avoiding the tastes in the first duos mouths entirely!  

I was really intrigued by this Vinegar Syndrome title in particular for it's Boston angle.  There just isn't enough smut shot local that I'm aware of and I really wanted to see a lot. The only thing that jumped out at me was a stalking sequence that may have been on Boston Common, I remember these little chains, but I was TWO when the film was released.  Anyone?

 The producers of this also did THE NIGHT OF THE BLOODY TRANSPLANT which hasn't hit DVD yet, but a little research has shown that that horror film (now I have to watch it..sigh) has the same score. OH NO! I'll never get it out of my mind.  It also seems to share some room and bathroom sets...so, there is that.  Oh curiosity, you kill me! 

While far from fantastic, you could do a lot worse than this bit of goofy sexploitation for an hour and change, the print looks great and you can't forget...GUNNER SLOAN!

Joe D'Amato Romance Lesson #545

My love for D'Amato knows NO bounds!  I was really thrilled to catch this softcore flick, dubbed in English no less, delivered all the Masterful Massacessi sexploitation sin I could ask for.  But this clip, it takes the cake!

CONFESSIONS of a blogger smitten with Kristine Heller

Happy New Year to all..what better way to celebrate than to enjoy some VINEGAR SYNDROME action with Kristine Heller giving us her CONFESSIONS?   Works for me!  If you ever wondered what a really good blowjob looks like played over a song that would make the Partridge Family cringe more than a little bit, this is the flick for you!  

 

"It would look a lot better if I could get laid this morning...Gary, we've got to sit down and talk and it's got to be soon. We're going down a one way street and I got bad vibes that it's all your way."

Kristine Heller has the perfect blend of Sexual Skill Smarts, comic timing and well..more sex skills to play a perfectly bored housewife that decides it's time to get in touch with her inner self, and to let everyone else do the same.  After we meet her and get the sense that her semi-upwardly-maybe mobile hubby who refers to himself in the third person (played to hilarious perfection by John Leslie) is pretty much interested more in having a hot wife to suck his headaches away instead of satisfying her needs...well, it's on!  Getting dolled up and hitting the road, she finds all kinds of new experiences and satisfactions are coming as fast and furious as she is. 

The shot above is probably the first and only time I've ever declared someone in the, "damn, she is Tatum O'Neal hot!" category, but that's just how I see it.  After Gary gets some amazing therapy in the first scene she decides to bump the first hippy biker she can find on the street, head back to his place and get right back at it.  But can she handle the returned favor?  Of course!!  However, and you definitely could have fooled me, our horny housewife apparently doesn't have the oral accumen I thought. Thankfully, hippy dude can help.  Hilariously.

"The cock...is very...delicate. Mwarpabarpapharp...suck on..it...suck it back....just a little harder."

BINGO!  She's got it now!  So just a few hours after Gary left, she is a devastating hippy trip advised lady of the world!  Heller is trying not to laugh during the instructional phase of our program, but it's all good...  And hey, she isn't looking for more than a quick ball and bail.  But can the hippy dude take that?  OH NO!  After she tries to leave there is one of my favorite pronouncements in all of porn! 

 "Hey, if we're not going to see each other anymore you're gonna stay here and we're gonna play!"

["SOUND OF MOWING THE LAWN"]

Ah, that is just awesome, and CONFESSIONS is just getting warmed up.  There is lots more fun to be had, especially with our heroine meeting up with Gary as he watches women eat at a party in some kind of bizarre loop of attraction while his boss, played by Joey Silvera, gets off with his wife in the bathroom leaving her covered in something that is possibly as protein packed as this banana! 

And what could be more fun than answering an ad and finding out that you are going to get to play some bizarre dominant game with a dude that likes to be teased (Jack Wright has a distressing "young Stephen King" look to him) and then get some sapphic sensualism on with his leather clad wife that knows her way around every bit of a woman?  Not much!

CONFESSIONS is short on plot, but uses a nice and breezy mix of humor to match up with the sex scenes that make up the majority of the running time. I really enjoyed Kristine Heller's performance a lot, she has a real comfort level in front of the camera that director Anthony Spinelli plays up by letting her talk plenty and keep the pace swift with no overly long scenes.  And when you bounce between Partridge Family groove and elevator musak for long lesbian encounters you know you have me.  I was actually conducting along at one point, but that may have been to keep my hands out of my pants!
Spinelli sure was a prolific porn, and I always think of him as the guy that gave us Batwoman and Catgirl (with my porn fave Madison)...but now I have this little flick to thank him for.  When you let your star break the wall to the audience over a jar of Vitamin E and some Polish Dills I say VIVA CONFESSIONS!!

Special thanks to Gary, for setting his lady free to be with you and you and you and you and...ME!
It's GROOVY!

THE SEXUALIST conquers DVD...and Mr. Godfather!

"The use of the vibrator has been spoken of by many women's liberationists as 'the great relaxer' sometimes being used two or three times a week for solitary pleasure."

  -Happy soothing narrator as Tina Russell works a suction cub vibrator over herself as the soundtrack sounds like a lawn being mowed in THE SEXUALIST

Jeffrey Montclaire, a goofy filmmaker with grand intentions attempts to mix race, astrology and a gay gorilla...and a Paradise scene as well.  With a heavy emphasis on lengthy sex scenes being broken up as narration takes us on a path of astrology and mumbo jumbo over masturbation scenes both male and female (Jason & Tina Russell), a lesbian coupling (Jennifer Welles and Shana O'Neal) and hardcore action (with the Russells in a different setting).  Sandwiched in the action and probing discussions there is a small amount of plot threads including some gorilla fun, a gangster that has "lost his shirt" called Mr. Godfather and a little story about Welles character taking in a girl about to find herself being introduced to the sex pictures of Jeffrey Montclaire.  And did I mention that her name was Inga and she biked in from New Jersey? 

Random SWORD Appearance!

THE SEXUALIST is an odd duck that feels like some randomly connected loop bits with entertainingly bland and monotone narration describing to the viewer the intentions of Jeffrey Montclaire, since they, like me, were busy admiring Welles and especially Tina Russell!  I mean... do you want some comedy, or do you want this? THIS!

Producer and Director Kemal Horulu (who created the film that is joined with THE SEXUALIST on DVD) does make the humor broad enough that it gets a little groovy and it helps that there is a guy in a gorilla suit.  I liked Monica and her male costar that can't get it up arguing and fighting as well. Now, your miles will vary on the Mr. Godfather stuff.  It's a big dude parodying mob producers on the sex scene.  But he does find out that Papamabuto The Gorilla isn't just ready for acting, he's ready for a piece of ass. HIS ASS!!

The happy crew get ready for business

WOOPS!!!

It should be noted that the film is not completely hardcore, and that business is handled by The Russells, going between solo work and some rocking chair action.  It's a bit jarring, but just like it wants to mix gorilla suits and sex, the production certainly needed to go between a "storyline" and the close ups of wet genitals at work!  Fans of Tina Russell and Jennifer Welles will be served well, mostly because of the work of Vinegar Syndrome and making the film look so damn good!  It's in anamorphic widescreen, and you get a nifty trailer and even some outtakes running 5 minutes and worth watching out of curiosity.

While it won't have you on the edge of your seat or busting out of your pants for much of it's running time, THE SEXUALIST is interesting for it's running time and makes me think of what it must have been like to head into a theater and just have no clue what was going to happen when the projector fired up! Give it a try...

And, as always, New York City plays it's own role in the film!  Here is some fun bits of reality slipping in to frame!

This lady seems taken with the stylish appearance of Papamabuto The Gorilla as he heads into his first modeling job audition!

Oh, but here we have someone that looks disapproving of our starlet...  why she is so grumpy is a mystery, that is a pretty swank print on her old lady coat and she has a sign that says SAUSAGES over her head!!

Join THE ORAL GENERATION with Vinegar Syndrome!

My Black Friday haul of VINEGAR SYNDROME releases continues to delight and educate me on the early 70s porn scene with the absolutely bonkers release of THE ORAL GENERATION!  Not only do you get a rousing (and cinerection rising) main feature, but the disc is set up to play for almost 2 hours of Grindhouse goodies, all restored and looking sharper than I'm going to be they ever have.  So, lets pop it in and find out what educational materials are enclosed!

"It is only through the free dissemination of sex education information that all our adult population, male and female, can be the beneficiary of the increasing knowledge made available by our scientific community."

Well, this was certainly educational!  Starting off with "Clinical Sex" we join an obviously licensed doctor as he helps his beautiful clients understand their sexual desires and helps them release their sense of duty and embrace orgasm.  His nurse is always on hand to assist just in case any odd feelings for the same sex arise.  And don't forget to have the right massage mechanism on hand for the job...

 

The narration of the doctor really makes this one a lot of fun as he dutifully describes his methodology and true desire to help his subjects.  Husbands, this guy is OK to fuck your wife!  Hey, it's for your own good.   My favorite bit of this short subject is Nurse Ella, she is crazy hot AND has an unrestrained enthusiasm for her work.  Even helping her boss blow off some steam, "just for relief and pleasure."  BRING IT, NURSE!!!

ANY WAY YOU LIKE IT! is a basically the same theme, but introduces a groovy purple dress, a less amiable doctor (it's the glasses, he looks like Devolution has struck) and a nurse that appears to be VERY stoned as she fetches the vibrating machine that is supposed to justify his 35 dollars. But his demanding client wants MORE MORE MORE!  Good fun, with a hearty chuckle at the end! 

 And now, things get groovy. And a little weird. Maybe a bit...specific...in nature.   Welcome to, NAKED SEXES!

So, naked people. Attractive ones.  Laughing. For almost ten minutes!!!  Hard to really put to words what this is, but I found myself chuckling along. There is a woman for all tastes, lots of naked skin on show and yeah...that.  No sex. No nothing. Laughing.  But then...well, I mean, I'm all for the male form, even when it is covered in a giant moustache.  But when the dude that looks like Mixed Martial Arts legend Fedor Emelianenko shows up and starts chuckling away and slapping himself in the face  bemusedly, it just fucked me up!   Woah.  Actually, I don't think I'll ever forget this!

Yeah, it was kind of awesome.
Rounding out our shorts is THE different SEX.  A jolly bit that has Sandra, majoring in sex education, wearing mega glasses and trying to write about THE HUMAN ORGASM. But she needed one. Nothing a quick 3 way with two willing male pals wouldn't solve!!  Oh, just add our naked narrator as well (who is definitely in the groovy nerdy hippy chick top 10 of the year) for some 3 way girl girl action!!  SANDRA, YOU RULE!!
There is an odd bit here, after Sandra goes all the way in every way she will "Never do it again."   Come on Sandra. I mean it. CUM. ON!!!

And just before the main film (seriously, you want value, this is it), there is a groovy and VERY hardcore outtake from The Oral Generation that plays like THAT scene you may have pictured from THAT 70s SHOW as a redhead and here Orange Bathrobe Wearing Dude Pal get it on with much oral athleticism!  I can't get the sight of the dude doing his lunge work out of my head, but it really does work well. And there is more teabagging than the average Call Of Duty multiplayer match as well.

And now...our Feature Presentation!

The Oral Generation is a pseudo documentary on the merits of oral sex and how it can be used to give both men and women pleasure.  Of course, things get gussied up like crazy as our narrator delivers an incredibly sexually positive message (well, barring some statements about tired husbands needing pleasing of course) before we get to examples.  Of real interest to many fans of cult and trash cinema right out of the gate is some gorgeous footage from NYC that manages to capture one of my all time favorite films under the title.  YEP, Maciste gets some love as GOLIATH AND THE VAMPIRES joins FRONTIER HELLCATS (?) on a double bill.  Amazing!!  We roll on down the theaters, the bookstores (by day for maximum clarity!) and get layouts of a ton of sex magazines to boot.  If oral sex video isn't your thing (really?) this opening reel should satisfy in a different vein.  It gave me a cine-boner before the main action even started. 

There are several different examples of good oral attitudes on show, from the first sequence of reciprocation being the key (look at that guy go...) to a great way to relax in the shower (I was fearful that the poor woman was about to get a soapy pubic loofa, but it didn't happen) and so on.  But after these first scenes the film snaps into overdrive!  Inspired by a reading of "The Sensuous Woman" a happy wife invites her man to fantasize while she spends a VERY long time slowly bringing him to orgasm. And thankfully that fantasy is one of the legends of the Grindhouse, Tina Russell.  Um...yeah, this worked for me pretty well, hard to argue the intermingling of loopy strip sequence and slowjob over a feedback laced groove in my mind.  Things get vigorous enough that the white cardboard roll up backdrop (barely hiding what appear to be boiler room pipes) can't contain it.  Stepping outside my reportage I have to admit to not knowing who Russell was, but I'm working on changing that right now.  Seriously. This just ruled.

 
And then it gets really headclonking as we have an awesome 70s Karate Dude get serviced in great fashion beneath some groovy music.  Alright!  AND...this.

 

His TKD is so strong that he killed a 3 Armed Bear and is getting his spoils now. Sonny Chiba Style!!  I guess oral sex on film is relative in regards to what the viewer prefers, but for the running time of this scene I'm going to call it as "JUST RIGHT!"  

Oh, and it made me remember this historical shot from earlier in the film. 

Truly, I'm rating this film as Justice...my firm pillar of goodness can confirm it!

For one final scene (and hey, I'm exhausted just typing this) the NY Philharmonic gets a nice booster in ad space as a beautiful woman narrates the joy she not only gives, but happily shares with a friend.  It ends our feature on a happy note, full of sharing and sex and most of all... a positive love for all things Oral.

As you can see from the images, Vinegar Syndrome's disc looks amazing, far better than anything I've seen from the period. The film itself is quite nifty, pushing pluralism of desire and individual choice being part of the very basis of the constitution of the United States.  Hey, I know it's a way to get this sucker out to the masses and keep the illusion of it being a scientific study.  But it's surprisingly upbeat and just a lot of fun to watch when all is said and done.
With some vintage AmeriSex on show, a restoration worthy of geeking out over in the A/V sense AND loaded with a full two hours of programming, you should become part of THE ORAL GENERATION if you are so inclined. And if you aren't, maybe some education via 42nd Street is going to make that change.
Viva La Vinegar!