Da Masta Cheef rants about 8th ed's rumors

Okay look: When I started this out, it wasn't going to be a rant on the subject, but then on the read-thru...well, it just kinda turned out that way. Again. As usual. 

Once again a new edition is almost upon us and I really want to be cautiously optimistic, but at the same time given my past experience with 40k’s various ‘updates’ I can’t help but feel like I’m cringing with trepidation as well. GW Fanbois and Haters alike are all over the various rumor blogs/FB pages screaming their opinions resulting in a bunch of white noise with little to no substance. 

Thus, adding to the din: here are my thoughts on what I've read the most about thus far:

WE LISTENED AND GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!

Considering that I think the ‘pie chart’ below of what GW perceives the 40k fanbase to be is entirely accurate, I doubt it.

You disagree? HERESY! *BLAM!*

EVERYTHING IS VIABLE! • NO BROKEN UNITS!

Yes, yes…we’ve heard this all before, so when reading GW’s current hype vs. their proven track record on these two subjects, I think many a player will be disappointed as usual.

NO DEATHSTARS!

GW’s so-called play testers have never come close to breaking the game like their player base has. As such, ‘no Deathstars’ is a laughable notion.

WHOMEVER CHARGES INTO CLOSE COMBAT STRIKES FIRST!

If that's the case then it will be an (((AMAZING))) improvement for Orks! Now whether or not that's just a hammer-of-wrath-like hit, or all of their attacks remains to be seen, but either way its desperately needed fix for a HTH army that invariably hits last in virtually EVERY close combat situation. (See? There's some positivity in the mess.)

Seriously, I'm actually stoked about that one!

THE MOST ROBUST 40K EDITION EVER!

A minor rewording of the standard issue marketing written about every release, moving on…

THE HORUS HERESY RULES WILL STAY THE SAME!

(actually, they’re not really shouting about this bit).

Having spent $150 this past year on two newly updated ‘Red books’ (and still contemplating a third) I should hope not! That said, its inevitable I suppose, and there’s are thousands of people who’ve spent tons on $50 hardback codexes that are soon to be obsolete (and this is already generating justifiable player unhappiness).

3-WAYS TO PLAY WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE WANTS!

Okay look. AoS was an absolute clusterfuck when it was released without any sort of point system. Players all over the world started immediately to develop their own to try and bring some sense of balance and playability to the game within their local groups. The only people that I know who enjoyed it in the original form, played it with their kids who are quite young. New blood = Good. Alienating VAST swathes of veteran players = Bad. Even GW figured that out. 

AoS sales spiked initially (like any new edition does) and then nosedived into oblivion. (until...) The General’s Handbook corrected the obvious failings of the game's initial release and players received the book with near universal acclaim. As such the games' financial numbers are believed to exceed, the old WHFB which is what GW wanted in the first place. Its probably described as: WINNING! in the shareholder meetings.

Looking towards 8th ed, GW's upper echelons no doubt compared apples to oranges and didn't see any difference at all (most likely due to the usual combination of their entrenched 'group think' corporate mentality and absolutely no market research what-so-ever) and jumped to the conclusion that this will work for 40k too. BRILLIANT! When in truth, its probably just as much of a shot in the dark as the initial AoS release was.

FREE RULES PDFs!

Yay. Now those of us who don’t have tablets, or (conversely) don’t want their tablets to be filled up with nothing but 40k rule PDFs can print them out at Kinkos (or whatever FedEx calls it now). My apologies to the trees, some us old schoolers still prefer actual books. $25-30 soft backs were fine, people only started to pushback on codexes when GW decided they all should be $50 coffee table books with very, very short lifespans. 

Here's to another 30+ years of Ultra-Fucking-Marine-Blue!

THE FOCUS IS ON IMPERIUM vs. CHAOS!

Translation: SUCK IT XENOS PLAYERS! (as usual). Before anyone pipes up about Tau and the Eldar, I expect those two armies will take a good solid kick to the groin. Like 30k, 40k looks to finally become an ALL POWA ARMA game with that revelation. True, those two sides include others like the Inquisition, SoBs (lolz), IG, the mechanicum and daemons. But POWA ARMA is where its at! 

Oh and pray to whatever gods will listen that all that new Chaos Legions flavor carries through into the new edition, instead of just becoming another fondly remembered 4.5 CSM codex the likes of which won’t be seen again for another decade whilst the ultramarine blue loyalist marines get all the good rules. 

Also, steel yourselves for the possibility of GW rolling all 3 Eldar factions into one fluff shredding ‘Aeldari’  faction, and similar AoS shenanigans like renaming ’Orks’ to ‘Orruks’ and other stupid sounding names that no one else has made up yet in order to be able to trademark EVERYTHING! Just remember kids: BRAND IDENTITY is more important than FLUFF. Though I might be okay with it, if they changed ‘Space Marines’ to ‘Spess Mahreenz’.

Speaking of a kick to the groin, let's hope there's an actual death to the 'death from the skies' phase. Not likely, but one can always hope...

THE GAME WILL BE EVER EVOLVING!

lol, did they say *free rules*? Yes well, while they’re not a ‘rules company’, you’ll still need to buy a $50-75 rulebook every so often (read that as: 2-3 per year) to keep current and get all the really cool shit. Oh, and speaking of 'evolving' when is GW going to try and alter their player base to not be such a freaking sausage-fest? 

Hell, Warmahordes' and Infinity minis are almost 50/50 male-to-female (and as a result are a lot more appealing to female gamers, even despite Corvus Belli's overly-sexualized female poses), whereas GW? Well yeah, no idea why some nerd's violent sexual fantasy the Sisters Repentia didn't help em' cross the vast, gender divide...

But, but...then they released the Sisters of Silence right?

Sadly, once again, the 'boob armor' failed to entice the ladies. I'm sure the notion that two requirements of their combat regimen is to not only be a soulless bitch, but also to permanently shut their fucking mouths didn't help either.

Suddenly they sound like the Emprah's trailer trash don't they?

- Epilogue -

Bitter much? Isn't it obvious?

So was this post even necessary? Doubt it.

Was it constructive? Certainly not.

Cathardic? Quite.

Are you done yet? For the moment...

Comparing Apples and Oranges...

Okay, so figuring it out from the point of view of starting from scratch, here's a comaprison of what I've purchased for Gruntz vs. the 40k Spess mahreen equivalent (because lets face it, 90% of players start with marines.

Also I'm not going with the Dark Vengeance boxed set as (1) not everybody starts with it and (2) there's no Gruntz equivalent which more or less renders this whole exercise in comparing the two pointless. Especially as the forces contained in that set don't really compare well with what I bought for Gruntz. The DV box is also intended to be split by 2 new players (which is amusing as only veteran players who have pre-existing armies for the minis contained in the set tend to actually do that).

"He's the Orange!'

 This is a good size comparison photo (which tend to be surprisingly hard to find in google searches...

Anyways, first up buying the game rules:

Gruntz rulebook PDF and unit builder app: $14.00 (+$10 for printing out and spiral binding @ kinko's)

40k Big Rulebook and SM codex ebook: $145.99

A difference of: $121.99! (ouch!)

Next up, minis (all of which were purchased from Khurasan miniatures with the lone exception of the commander's mech which came from The Ion Age):

Gruntz:

(1) APC

(1) Tank

(20) Infantry

(3) specialist squads (similar to IG heavy weapon teams)

(1) commander's mech

Gruntz minis total: $79.42 and just short of 250 points as built. 

That point total could go higher if I beefed em up a bit but I've kept em simple to start with and that's a decently sized starter army anyways.

40k:

(1) Rhino

(1) Predator

(20) Tactical Marines

(5) devastator marines

(1) dreadnought

(nope, no GW links as y'all already know what those look like)

Minis total: $267.25, and about 750 points (give or take) which is also a good starter size.

Minis come to a difference in price of: $187.83 (again, ouch!) Actually it would be worse as the Gruntz also includes shipping costs, whereas the 40k doesn't. The 40k costs also don't involve sales tax, and since GW's NA HQ is in Memphis, buying from them online would involve sales tax just like buying their toys at the FLGS would.

Total Gruntz Start up cost: $103.25
Total 40k Start up cost: $413.15

For a difference of: $309.90 (triple ouch!)

Increasing the armies from there won't get any cheaper for the 40k player (assuming ebay isn't involved) but is debatable for the Gruntz player as I could redo the unit stats, increasing their skills and their point costs free of charge (I would have to buy more stuff though).

Now, obviously Gruntz is not the (gamers) household name that 40k is, and I've yet to get in a game to see just how much I'll like it in the long run either, but still...most games of 40k these days feel like a pay-to-win scenario which just plain sucks! Personally, 7th ed as whole hasn't been any fun in general, as it feels like it has far more cons than pros to it. Apparently I'm not alone (locally Infinity has all but replaced 40k at the FLGS' game night), so its not hard to see why GW is hemorrhaging players and having difficulty finding new ones with new army start up costs like that. Don't even get me started on the AoS debacle! What's the latest on that? $100 for SIX Khorne Blood Crushers...curiously with most every release, the WHFB cost too much excuse for AoS's existance seems hollower and hollower.

Oops, back on topic...

Speaking of hemorrhaging players, the Gruntz purchases listed above came out of my now depleted Plastic 30k Fund that I had built up. Mk IV tac marines isn't what I was hoping for and given GW's opaque marketing scheme of: just have a lot of money ready to impulse buy our releases with no forewarning of what they are or when they'll come out... 

Meh, why did I put up with their crap for so long? Honestly it feels like I've achieved escape velocity and I don't see any reason to look back (unless I'm looking waaaaaaaaaaaay back towards GorkaMorka, Mordheim and the goodies from GW's long since past 'Golden Age').

Age of Sigmar, one month in.

A third post this week? A Friday rant even? Score!

This morning I read yet another BoLS post extolling the virtues of AoS, and how it ought to be applied to 40k. That makes what? A half dozen or so now, more or less saying the same thing? Granted that one shockingly wasn't all wine and roses like the others have been. Still it just seems so fucking redundant.

Seriously what the hell? 

Annoyed, and wanting to see what else they had available, I after that went scrolling thru their recent posts only to find yesterday's post about how well AoS is selling on Amazon. Almost every day BoLS brings us another AoS is awesome! post.

Fanbois much?

Ya know, there are a hellova lot of people out there who either don't like or just flat out hate the game, but dissenting opinions and/or counterpoints on BoLS are apparently only for the comment section. Speaking of, whilst browsing the comments, I found this one below and couldn't agree more (and said as much in my reply to it).

lol, ya gotta love FFG for putting GW in it's place.

Also, given the subject matter of the BoLS post itself, I couldn't help but not crop out the reply about X-Wing blow it. Gives ya some perspective doesn't it? I can't wait till FFG topples 40k from the highest grossing mini game though sadly I won't be able to be the proverbial 'fly on the wall' during that GW board meeting, lol. Its going to happen...

Of course its also widely acknowledged in the Amazon post's comments (and elsewhere) that many people are buying the AoS starter to use the minis as Chaos cultists in 40k, and to convert Sigmarines into Space marines/Custodes. Best not to read into any of that though, just keep following BoLS' bludgeoning insistence that: AoS is THE BEST THING EVAR!

Bleh.

The Age of Sig-meh

o/

Copyright of GW. I can assure you, I want no claim to this wretched image!

Well everyone else is going on and on about GW's latest debacle, so why not throw in my 2 cents as well. As you have probably already guessed, I'm not impressed. Not in the slightest. I downloaded my 4-page rule PDF, as well as the warscroll PDFs for my Empire and Skaven, even the one for the terrain, and...uh yeah. Nothing I read made me think 'Wow! I want to try this out! Now let me dig out my WHFB minis to see what kind of army I can build!'

Dormant as my WHFB collection is, I think it'll stay right where it is (along with 8th ed rulebook), and wait till someone wants to play a good ol' game of actual Warhammer! Hell, I might even build and paint a few Skaven out of spite for AoS.

I really feel for people like Necron Bob. He's a hardcore WHFB tournament player, and had traveled the country to various tournaments, and has many friends in that community. I asked him what his thoughts on AoS were and he replied with this:

"I've been talking to folks from all over the county. At first there was tempered optimism, followed by nervous skepticism. Now that those sad battle scrolls released there's a lot of bitterness and rage. It's totally not my game. I've made a lot of great friends and have loved travelling about the country. That's all going to fragment now. Very sad. Some are going to Warmachine. Some to Kings of War. There's talk of a community organized 8.5. Fewer are holding out hope that GW is going to come through with point values and/or a mass battle system. I don't think they will. For the life of me, I can't see how they thought this was a good idea..."


Yeah, I think AoS is going to tank. Horribly. I'm sad to say it, but I think GW deserves it too. Not only that, but if this is their long term plan for 40k...well, then they'd best start liquidating their corporate assets now, just saying.

Thus far, the only good thing I've seen come from this release is Inso's Adeptus Custodes conversion built from his free AoS mini (with the purchase of a White Dwarf magazine) which can be seen here.