'Ghost Shark' (2013)

This week, I have learnt that I will watch anything in an attempt to get to sleep (it was too hot last night so I couldn't…) I'm really hoping for a change in the weather soon otherwise my brain will turn into cheese through watching awful films on Youtube. Films like 'Ghost Shark' for example…

Every now and then, a film comes along that is perfectly summed up by its title and 'Ghost Shark' is very much one of these. It's a film about the ghost of a shark that takes revenge on the inhabitants of a small coastal town and, as the title also suggests, this involves people dying in all manner of stupid ways as said shark is able to manifest wherever there is water (tiny puddles, a kids waterslide, a car wash, you name it…) It’s very much a one trick pony with people dying and not a lot else happening (thank goodness there's some variety here then) but a little tension goes a long way and 'Ghost Shark' can be effective, at times, with those moments that are designed to make you jump even when you know something bad is about to happen.

Luckily for 'Ghost Shark' then, it's also a film that doesn't take itself seriously at all. How can it with a name like that? It's all about laughing at the dodgy CGI (torso-less legs still trying to walk, makes me laugh every single time) and watching Richard Moll chew the scenery as Finch, the drunken lighthouse keeper who knows more than he is letting on.

'Ghost Shark' is ridiculous but all the more entertaining because of it. 'So bad it's good'? Quite possibly. If I'm not going to get any sleep then this is the kind of film I want to be watching while I wait to drop off...

And yes, I really did pick the dumbest looking picture for this post. It was actually a surprisingly difficult job... ;o)

'State of Emergency' (2011)

I've been having a bit of trouble getting to sleep recently and have found myself watching films on Youtube in an attempt to wait out the insomnia. Looking back at what I have just written, this doesn't seem like a clever move at all. Oh well, back to the ol' insomnia drawing board…

But yeah, I've been watching films and one of those was 'State of Emergency'. I'm still slowly going off zombie fiction but I can't resist a zombie film, mostly because of the suspense and gore. 'State of Emergency' follows similar 'zombie apocalypse' themes; a man attempts to survive in the middle of an outbreak (toxins accidentally released from a chemical facility) and finds shelter with a dysfunctional group of survivors. It's just a shame that it doesn't follow those themes particularly well…

It's often occurred to me that a zombie apocalypse could become pretty boring once you've secured your shelter and are waiting to see what happens next. Nothing can get in but you can't get out either and if you don't have some entertainment to hand then you're pretty much screwed really. In 'State of Emergency', the survivors hole up in an empty warehouse where the only thing to do, once the offices have been searched, is to sleep and eat. There are a couple of scary moments, in a '28 Days Later' kind of way but with far fewer infected, but the rest of the film really shows you how tedious a zombie outbreak can be (and not in a good way either…) And why didn't they notice the manhole, in the warehouse, until it was too late? They checked everything but the floor… Ooh that made me cross...

None of this is helped by a cast that seem to exist just to fill in a 'cast shaped gap' in the film. You could make an argument that they are all in shock but my money is on poor direction/lack of acting ability. It's painful to watch them interact as they all seem to be looking for cues that the other actors don't supply. 'State of Emergency' is beautifully shot (and the flashback sequences worked very well) but I was so glad to see the end credits roll up. An apathetic film that seems to rely on inducing that same feeling of apathy in its viewers so they don't switch off.

‘Hobo With A Shotgun’ (2011)

Now there’s a title that pretty much says it all and leaves you wondering what on earth you are going to say next… It’s also proof that I will watch anything, on Youtube, when Hope decides she wants to sleep in my bed and is all elbows and feet. Happy days...

In a journey to earn his way out of poverty, a homeless man pulls into a city of urban chaos, where crime prevails and the city’s crime boss reigns with violent and bloody malice. Seeing this urban landscape filled with armed robbers, corrupt cops and abused prostitutes, the Hobo soon abandons his plans and turns vigilante in order to deliver justice to this city of filth the only way he knows how--with a 20-gauge shotgun. Mayhem ensues as he tries to clean up the streets and make the city a better place for future generations. However with the city’s evil crime boss Drake standing in his way, will the Hobo’s own brand of street justice prevail?

‘Hobo With A Shotgun’ started out in life as one of the fake trailers in ‘Grindhouse’ but took on a life of its own and became a full length movie in its own right. And what a movie it is! The plot is simple and quickly shoved to one side in favour of an orgy of over the top violence. Gangsters, pimps, corrupt cops (and more, the Santa Claus guy was just plain wrong…), ‘Hobo’ throws it all into the mix and serves it up with a sauce of blood and shotgun shells. Rutger Hauer delivers some absurd lines in his own special way and makes them all the more chilling for it; Molly Dunsworth is also noteworthy as ‘hooker with a heart’ Abby.
I don't really know anything about Grindhouse films at all but I have a feeling that the whole 'exploitative' angle is the whole point of this kind of film (anyone want to chip in here?) If nothing else, it does give our Hobo cause to take up his gun and start shooting the bad guys.

And… That’s it really. ‘Hobo’ doesn’t have anything deep to say and that’s the whole point really. 86 minutes of entertainment so brainless that you can easily forgive the film for its flights of fancy (seriously, where did the demons suddenly appear from?) and the fact that it is as corny as hell. I think I would have enjoyed ‘Hobo’ more if I was drunk but it worked just fine for what it was, fun but ultimately forgettable (the lack of meat on these bones doesn't do the film any favours). Now to watch ‘Machete’…

‘V/H/S 2’ (2013)

I watched this the other night, a night when Elana would only stay asleep if I was holding her and walking backwards and forwards. Half three in the morning isn’t a great time to be awake but it’s the best time to be watching horror films, even if they aren’t actually that good.

Okay, that’s not entirely fair on ‘V/H/S/2’, a collection of four short horror features connected by a story of private detectives that come across a stash of old video tapes and watch them in order to try and solve a case. The framing narrative is rather weak and doesn’t seem to have a lot of point to it other than to get us to the videos themselves. There are a couple of moments that are meant to make you jump but they are signposted so clearly that they do anything but… On to the films themselves and it’s a case of ‘six of one and half a dozen of the other’. Two aren’t up to scratch while the other two are very well done indeed. I would say that though as one of them features zombies… ;o) Here are the films then…

‘Phase 1 Clinical Trials’

A man is fitted with a camera in his eye and ends up seeing a lot more than he bargained for... While there were some moments that really made me jump I couldn’t get away from the fact that I’ve seen this all before  (in ‘The Eye’ which was brilliant, give it a go) and that sense of tiredness in the concept overshadowed the moments of genuine fear.

 ‘A Ride In The Park’

A man goes for a bike ride in the park and is attacked by the living dead… Now I know I keep saying that I’m getting tired of zombies and I am, the whole thing has been done to death. I really got a lot out of ‘A Ride In The Park’ though, with its slow build-up of tension showing off some un-nerving moments and exploding into a bloody climax with some surprises. I also loved the way the helmet-cam gives you a little insight into what zombies get up to when they’re not chasing the living. Okay, the answer is ‘not a lot’ but even so, I just loved the way it was shot.

‘Safe Haven’

The highlight of the film for me, if you can call a story of suicide cults and demon births a highlight… It was though, the directors hold nothing back and you’re literally assaulted by a full on stream of shock  and gore that you can’t take your eyes off. Every time you think it’s done, something else happens and I couldn't help but watch. Absolutely amazing (if you could call it that, you know what I mean…) and one that I can’t stop thinking about.

 ‘Slumber Party Alien Abduction’

This is a tough one to call. ‘Slumber Party Alien Abduction’ has loads of genuinely creepy moments that are spoiled by the aliens being announced by a deafening horn. It makes you jump once and then it gets tiresome very quickly. By the end, I was severely tempted to mute the TV and see if that made things any better but the film ended soon after that. ‘Slumber Party Alien Abduction’ could have been brilliant but, sadly, was too damn noisy to do the job it could have done.

‘V/H/S 2’ was really hit and miss then but when it hit the spot it was superb (which just made the ropey bits even more irritating). I’ll have to go back and give ‘V/H/S’ a go now, has anyone seen it?

Some More Quick Thoughts - 'Dredd' (2012)

Some things never change… I will always be the last person to see a film and very much the last person to blog about it afterwards. I get there in the end though.

The conversation about 'Dredd' has moved on from the film itself and is now firmly in the territory of 'Will there be a sequel? Please let there be a sequel…' Having watched the film on DVD a few times now (no worrying about 3D here, stupid 3D…) I'm very much in that camp; hopefully it will happen.

I'm a self confessed fan of the comics and I have to say that despite some unfortunate similarities with 'The Raid' (two very similar films just happened to come out the same time) the producers got it absolutely bang on the money here. Shying away from filming an established storyline, from the comic, lets the film stand on it's own two feet and avoids any of the pitfalls that the Stallone version (fun but horribly, horribly flawed) fell into. If there is a sequel then maybe that will be the time to look at something like 'Judge Death' (rumoured) or something like that. 

What we have here then is no special event, just another day in the life of a Mega City Judge and that makes the violence all the more depressing somehow. This shit goes on every single day and what Dredd and Anderson are doing to fight it won't even scratch the surface of a huge problem. They fight anyway (for what looks like differing reasons but I actually suspect they're more similar than Dredd would want to admit) and that is where the power in this film comes from. It's a very straightforward story but Karl Urban's Dredd carries it along nicely and Olivia Thirlby's Anderson acts as an effective counterpoint. A naive belief in the law (until Anderson has to actually enforce it) versus an implacable drive to see justice done.

Going back to the Stallone version for a second, I thought the only thing they did right there was the backdrop that it was all set against. It was proper Mega City One just like in the comics and that was cool. 'Dredd' moves away from this backdrop entirely with a grim and bleak cityscape that is totally different yet somehow encapsulates just what Mega City One is all about; a refuge in a nuclear desert where the only release for the populace seems to be violent acts of crime. Very much like Elephant & Castle, in London, but without the nuclear fallout. That gritty backdrop suits the underlying tone of the film far better than a futuristic sci-fi cityscape ever would have done.

It's like a whole new version of 'Judge Dredd' then with enough nods to the original (Chopper and 'The Krysler Mark' were two that I spotted) to keep people like me happy. I've got all my fingers crossed for a sequel and I wouldn't mind seeing more of Urban's Dredd in comics (I think that IDW missed a trick here…)