From Saying Men Don't Pander (To Women) To Totally Pandering (To A Woman)

 

Right after posting The Macho Response 2025 (Laughter At The Idea Of EVER Returning To Before) Bill Maher does a Real Time segment on Father's Day, detailing how horribly America's treated men in my lifetime. For the crimes of previous generations. And how society's made icons of males who, under pressure, pander to women. Hint: "Men" don't pander. We acknowledge when The New York Times offers bullshit like Eight Enchanting Novels About Witches, nod, and then keep that shit moving. It's just not worth our time.

  

Glenn Greenwald says, in his lifetime, he's before never seen a journalist demand to hear what a politician knows about a country he plans to attack - the one thing TMR's been insisting we do to Donald Trump - starting with Palestine. It's a tactic that's time has come.

The release of Mahmoud Khalil is a reminder that, not only doesn't Donald Trump know anything, but he isn't even fulfilling a president's first responsibility, which is to defend the Constitution. I'd keep an eye on that guy if I were you, because he can affect the lifetimes of future generations.

And finally, speaking of affecting the lifetimes of future generations, the fact there's now an 'SNL' display should totally explain why legendary bassist, Carol Kaye, wants nothing to do with the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Her work is foundational to everything they do, and even who we are, so she can say - with authority - except to crassly exploit her contribution, the Hall's never known why they exist. Just as MTV forgot what the "M" was for. So she wants nothing to with it. And I applaud her for saying so. That was the right thing to do AND The Macho Response.

NewAgers Will NOT Accept The Kidneys Clear Toxins (And It's A Beautiful Thing)

“My plan,...was to get out excessive toxins,...I felt like my body is intelligent, I know that,...Our bodies are brilliantly made. I decided to keep my tumor and try to work it out of my body a different way.”

As you can see, former MTV VJ Ananda Lewis has died, using her intuition about how the body works (which she did NOT know) and, of course, "alternative" medicine. These beliefs had her following in the goofy and gullible footsteps of Steve Jobs, Farrah Fawcett, Olivia Newton-John, Suzanne Somers, Val Kilmer, Bob Marley, Patrick Swayze, and many, many other fools. 

It's unfortunate, but yet another great "life lesson" for the rest of us: 

 Listen to your fucking Doctor.

 

Black Progress: Laughing At Living In A Racist Country

I Think I've Found The Black Mitt Romney

Get More: Music News

This is Charles Hamilton. He's a recording artist. He's also a wee bit confused, imagining Eminem speaks to him "telepathically" and there's something "subconscious" going on between their respective record companies because of pyramids and tarot cards. I'm a little sketchy on the details,...because I got them from Charles Hamilton.

It reminds me of that video of Mitt Romney where he veers into a discussion of Jesus returning to Missouri, except that wasn't on MTV, so the interviewer didn't openly giggle once the crazy revealed itself. And, also unlike that exchange, seeing Charles Hamilton's success has allowed me to grasp a point my fellow conservatives have been making for some time:

That Romney can probably hold a head full of nuts, be a total fucking Manchurian Candidate for his cult, and still qualified to be President Of The United States.

Despite the fact Romney's skull is HUGE, I just don't know. 

 Can't somebody just give him a recording contract?

 

And (If They Go With The "Soap" Idea) I'll Play Benson,...

Today, Ann Althouse made two comments on a post that were just too *RIPE* to pass up - first came this one (emphasis mine):


Remember, Meade and I need to do some road trips for your entertainment, and it's a big deal to do that customized Sprinter to suit the sensitivities of an old lady professor-blogger.

And then came this one: 

We had a fantasy of being more like Clarence Thomas and his wife, traveling about.

I pictured some reverse sitcom credits - "with Clarence Thomas as Meade" - and died laughing, though Meade as Clarence Thomas would be just as funny:

"My grandfather beat me,..."

Ann and Meade are off, in their own little vacuum-sealed-with-money existence (a Sprinter? Really?) so I wouldn't go trying to cross-reference it with the reality of Walmart, that CT and Jenny enjoy, too quickly. If anything, I'd say Ann and Meade ought to start off slow - like with whatever they'd consider a cheap air mattress in the backyard - and then try working their way down. Real Americans will laugh at them otherwise.

So what can Ann and Meade do, instead, or until they're ready? 

Well - since my enjoyment is such a major concern of theirs - here are Crack's Top Ten Suggestions For What Meadhouse Can Do To Keep Me Entertained:

10) Meade can start showing up to Wisconsin protests in obnoxiously colorful sweaters because he and Ann have re-imagined themselves as the Huxtables.

9) Meade as Marian Berry ("The bitch set me up!")

8) Blackface: Meade's Obama, Ann's Michelle,...wait - that's not much of a stretch,...

7) They buy the Sprinter, and the two of them criss-cross the country, recreating scenes from the Vietnam War's My Lai Massacre. (Extra credit if they make a special stop at "Roswell.")

6) They do whatever they see on an old episode of MTV's "Pimp My Ride" - complete with hydraulics - THEN they go visit the RV campgrounds.

5) Meade is Anthony Hopkins. Ann is Jodie Foster. This is Silence Of The Lambs. Action!

4) Three words: The Beverly Hillbillies.

3) Billarry or "Soap" - pick one. Ann and Meade may interpret them as they like.

2) Since they both like Mitt so much - strap a dog to the roof of anything and just GO!

And Crack's Number One Suggestion For What Meadhouse Can Do To Keep Me Entertained:

1) Tell everybody they're going to see Mayan temples - but they really visit all the Mormon ones!

He Don't Drive 55 (But He Ain't Cruizin' Either)

Or all of his pistons ain't firing right.

It never bothers me to have further proof someone can be rich and a complete idiot (it seems to be the rule more than the exception) but does it ever occur to these supposedly-educated people that A) their minds could've been playing tricks on them, or B) they just can't figure out what happened? By the year 2011, do they always have to go for the crazy?

No doubt Sammy Hagar, a former lead singer for Van Halen, has enjoyed a lot of far out experiences in life, but on Monday, the rocker told perhaps his farthest out tale to MTV. He was abducted by aliens.

Or, at least, his brain was.

In an interview for his new book, "Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock" at mtvhive.com, Hagar lets go of what even he admits might make him "sound like a crazy person" to some readers.

He and the reporter are talking about dreams he claims to have had about UFOs, and when asked whether he believed he had been abducted, Hagar answers: "I think I have."

The reporter seemed surprised. "What? Really? I was kidding. You seriously believe that?" he asks.

Hagar laughs and goes on to explain that a passage in the book described as a dream in which he is contacted by aliens from outer space in California was, in fact, reality.

The tale describes how the beings tapped into his mind through a wireless connection.

"It was real," Hagar told the reporter, according to the story on MTV's Hive website. "They were plugged into me. It was a download situation ... Or, they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment."

Hagar goes on to describe another experience at the age of four where he believes he saw an alien space ship in broad daylight hovering over a country field where his family lived.

I know, I know, Hagar's never been known as a genius - not even musically - but do you have to be a genius NOT to say something stupid?

Odd Future: Wanting A Father's Respect (Mine)

The keynote speech at the 25th annual South by Southwest Music festival, which took over downtown Austin from Wednesday to Saturday, was a bit grumpy. Bob Geldof, the Irish rocker who led the Boomtown Rats in the 1970s and went on to assemble the global Live Aid benefit concert in 1985 and its Live 8 sequel in 2005, bemoaned music’s loss of relevance. Although there was no shortage of “cool bands,” he said, music didn’t have the kind of broader social impact that it did with the Beatles, Bob Dylan, punk and grunge. He argued that music was no longer channeling rebelliousness and discontent.

He might have changed his mind had he seen Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, the teenage Los Angeles hip-hop collective that tore across this year’s SXSW. Rapping about drugs, rape, murder, getting pulled over by the police and wanting a father’s respect, over blotchy low-fi tracks, members of Odd Future climbed stage scaffolding and dove into eager crowds. Audiences responded with mosh-pit surges and hearty chants of “Wolf Gang!”

Odd Future’s foul-mouthed gross-outs were exactly the kind of music to appall parents and stoke youthful adrenaline. It has disseminated them not through record sales or radio play but in the digital cloud: giving away a dozen full-length albums by its members online, making videos for YouTube and through constant social-networking posts. Lately it has made television appearances, including one from Austin for the Woodie Awards given by MTV’s “college music” spinoff channel, mtvU, which latched onto the underground cachet of SXSW. Members of Odd Future now have recording contracts and coming retail albums; at SXSW no less an insider than Diddy (formerly P. Diddy) praised them as “the future of the industry.” But with maverick cool, Odd Future stormed offstage 12 minutes into its official SXSW set, complaining about bad microphones.

--The New York Times

I'm not sure if I approve yet - this video is the best thing I've seen - but they're kids, so give 'em time.

Nepotism Sucks (Because We Have To Look At It)

"For those unfamiliar, two of the primary participants in this video are Eva Amurri and Zach Gilford from television's 'Californication' and 'Friday Night Lights' respectively.

Amurri is Susan Sarandon's daughter that just so happens to play a student who moonlights as a stripper on 'Californication.'

Now THAT's a great role model for young people, isn't it?  

Heaven help us."

-- Noel Sheppard, recognizing a lunatic when he sees one - and, with those familiar googly eyes, who could miss it? - the product of an "open-minded" big mouth (who apparently couldn't keep her own legs closed) on NewsBusters.

Totally Cool

Hat Tip: Hot Air

NewAge Ain't A Compliment (MTV Either)

"The New Age charismatic, MTV renaissance man,..."

-- Rex Murphy, still trying to get a bead on the President of the United States - all the way in April - and coming to the same spiritually-shallow conclusion we have, but in The Globe and Mail.

MTV: Let's Push Your Parents Around - On TV!!!

"…We are casting for an upcoming episode of the award-winning series True Life. For this episode, we are looking for people who are in the process of converting to Wicca, or who have recently converted. We are focusing on how parents deal with these changes, and how it affects relationships,...

Are you clashing with your parents? Going against their wishes? Defying them even? Are you an Americanized teen growing up in a household with immigrant parents whose conservative cultural values are at odds with your modern viewpoints and lifestyle? Perhaps your religious beliefs are setting you and your parents at odds. Are you abandoning the beliefs they instilled in you as a child? Or is your deepening passion for faith and religion concerning your more secular-leaning parents? Maybe the conflict between you and your parents is a classic old disagreement over the guy or girl you’re dating. If you’re personally living through any of these scenarios, or an equally compelling conflict with your mother & father, we’d like to hear from you. MTV is working on a new episode of "True Life" that will explore the impact on young adults, and their families, when grown children challenge their upbringing and defy their parents."

-- MTV, exploitively "widening,...the generation gap with a crowbar," as reported by Tim Graham at NewsBusters.

We're Being Fed Creatively Empty Crap

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.
The next time you're watching one of those post-Madonna, MTV-influenced, sex-laden monstrosities we're being punished with - under the mistaken idea they're providing us with "Art" - think of this and ask yourself how brain-dead our culture has become under NewAge that we don't make anything close to how creative this is (and I don't even think this is all that hot.) There's just no comparison.

And, for keeping artists out because, politically, they don't buy into their bullshit (and that is what's happening) NewAgers should be ashamed.