Can't live with them... can't broil them over a slow heat....

A very large gentleman who goes to the same gym as me (the one which involves standing by a counter and lifting containers of beer continually to one's mouth and swallowing the contents) was standing in a car park the other day speaking with a woman. If hairstyles are an indicator of attitude to life, then his was no-nonsense shorn-baldy goodness.

As I passed with my ponytail swinging good-humouredly from beneath the cover of my classy baseball cap, I noticed a Mini-He about three years of age standing on the kerbside.

"Look at that man's hair!" the small one uttered in frank astonishment.

It is doubtless a source of great wonder in the world of this young man that humankind is not monopolised by the louse-phobic styling of a shorn pate.

"Quaint," I thought. "My hair, young man, may be down my back but yours is... down on the floor! Hur! Hur! Hur!"

As I sloped off into the distance in seach of a bus-stop, the cry went up behind me, fading slowy into the distance:

"Look at that man's hair!

Look at that man's hair!

Look at that man's hair!"

What is "Cheer Up Card" etiquette?

Herself and I were wandering around a local shopping centre a few days ago and in one of the greeting card and general souvenir sections I spied, in passing, a "Cheer Up" card.

I was so surprised (and was on my way out of the shop in the next moment to viewing it), that I didn't actually get too close a look at the card. I think it mentioned that the recipient's Guardian Angel was going to arrange for nice things to happen in the next little while. It didn't explain how the person sending the card knew this. Nor did it seem to reveal exactly what the etiquette for sending a "Cheer Up" card was.

Would you send a "Cheer Up... they can do great things with plastic surgery these days" message?

Or "Cheer Up... you still have a second one" card?

Or maybe "Cheer Up... the insurance will probably cover it"?

The mind boggles.