hello everyone! it's been a while since i wrote a new blog. might as well catch up a bit,

things of actually interesting note:

madness day 2025 went by and i took part in two projects

Cellification 2: Primordium and DUEL: Grotesque

Grotesque was an interesting project to take part in. probably the most chaotic collaborative madness project I have ever had the (dis)honor of contributing to, along with the barduck peeps. last year we had an incredibly stressful crunch race we couldn't quite catch up to, and this year.. not much had changed. i thought i'd have plenty of work to do, but thankfully most of it was off-loaded to other members (mostly Shadz) and this year really all i did was just revamp the final duel score and touch it up to be more aligned with what Buran had in mind for it. fun fact! the final duel song's production was first started in Kyiv, Ukraine (when I was visiting Buran), later it was worked on in my old dorm room and was now finished in my apartment a year later.

I was also featured in Crypt Voice's latest album Scream Shifting, our song was Lily4ever18

really that's about it for news in any official capacity, now's the time to complain about life a bit.

this year has been a big sinusoidal wave. it started off with me stuck in bed recovering from injuries, later rehabilitating and coming back to work and my old home, finding love... all was fun, sunny, rainbows and sunshine and the lot. and then the plague hit. sadly I had been struck by heartbreak, but at least I had found a new full time job, until I didn't. the job I was working at went through budget reforms and headcount reformatting and as just a mere junior in the office in probation period I got fired.

and here we are! at the (near) bottom of the sine wave! I am single and unemployed! at the very least my leg isn't broken this time, and I still have a roof over my head. this sudden dip has been extremely disorientating, lonely, depressing and struck about as subtly as a cow shitting into your morning coffee. i am now searching for new employment and honestly I don't even know what direction to take moving forward. this is probably yet another shit heap I have to jump through to figure myself out and is probably just yet another bout of character development.

life is a really huge struggle, and I am still getting my bearings. hope always dies last, but after what I've been through I realized that hope is just futile. hope brought me here, to the bottom ;} so I'll just run forwards and stop expecting absolutely anything from anyone.

i hate to bare all these bad news, but such is life. sometimes it shovels shit down your throat. oh well! I'll get by, somehow.