The American empire has entered its terminal decline.

Oh! Cards Against Humanity is celebrating Black Friday by giving you the impossible: 99% off this year’s hottest consumer products.

Yes. All of these products are actually available for 99% off, and if you purchase something we will actually ship it to you.

We’ve chosen to make them true. That’s the miracle of Black Friday.

Absolutely.

Hark! Ye must click the Button of GET IT NOW and pass the Trial of CAPTCHA. If thou doth prevail, ye shall proceed to the Room of Waiting. When the Clock of Time runneth out, we shalt announce if ye hath scored the deal.

Everyone's a winner on Black Friday: if you don’t get a deal, you’ll get a cool consolation prize. And then you can try again on the next one.

Yes! You’re always eligible for any deal that says “many in stock.” But if you get a BIG DEAL with a very limited quantity, you’re not eligible for any other BIG DEALS.

You’ll have one hour to pay us once you get a link. Wait too long, and we’ll give your deal to someone else.

Sorry. Like September 11th, Black Friday is an American holiday.

No comment.

Dive into the past at Part1.99percentoffsale.com.

We got you covered: All items are sold “as-is.” If your item doesn’t arrive, or is damaged in transit to you, or you are otherwise unhappy with the purchase, you are eligible for a refund of up to a maximum of the purchase price you paid (plus applicable sales tax). No exchanges will be made. All items are available only in the US. It is your responsibility to ascertain and obey all applicable local, state, federal, and international laws (including minimum age requirements) in regards to the possession, use, and sale of any item purchased from this site. If you are buying a smoking accessory, you must be at least 21 years old. By placing an order, you represent that the products ordered will be used only in a lawful manner.