Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, Dad.

I
always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school. Hey. I need to see your
claim checks for that luggage. Oh, of course. I have it right here. [Groans.] I'll need to see yours
too. - You got it! - [Groans.] I'll take your word for it. - You're just doing your job. - [All Laughing.]
- Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum? - Get out. Look at the outrageous markup. You
magnificent bastard. I salute you! I just got a bunch of fruity Easter eggs. Ew! Another liver
transplant. Oh, no. Not again! You're not gettir away that easy, little fella. Have you heard of
Krishna consciousness? This, Bart, is a crazy man. Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you. Right. That'll work. A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet,
Blisstonia. Hmm. Makes sense. We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this
weekend. How much is this free resort weekend? - It's free. - And when is this weekend? - It's
this weekend. - Uh-huh. And how much does it cost? - Um, it's free. - I see. And when is it? - It's
this weekend. - And what are you charging for this free weekend? - Come on, Dad. The team's
arriving. - It's free, right? Hey. Look. There's a big crowd to welcome us back, even though we
lost. Hey, I'll give you somethir to cry about, you loser. You can't catch a football? Let's see if you
can catch a rock. [All Shouting.] I've never heard of these Movementarians. - Are they some kind
of church? - Who cares what it is? The point is these are some decent, generous people that I
can take advantage of. - But what if they try to talk us into something? - Marge, Marge, Marge.
Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo? - You
bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced. - So I beat the system. Watch yourself, Dad.
You're the highly suggestible type. Yes, I am the highly suggestible type. [Together.] Welcome,
brother. Out of my way, jerk-ass! [Singing.] [Continues.] - Hi, how are y- - ## [Ends.] It certainly
is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader. - Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader? - Yes.
He's the head of our perfect family. And when our galactic vehicle is complete, he will take us to
our new home: Blisstonia. Why don't you come chat with us about the Leader at the welcome
center? - Will there be beer? - Beer is not allowed. Homer no function beer well without. Would
you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment? What kind of beer? The Leader knows
how miserable you, Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie are. Really? I'm surprised about Maggie. Just
come up and watch our orientation film. You're free to leave at any time. Wow! A free movie!
Thanks! Out of my way, jerk-ass! ##[TV: Fanfare.] [Man On TV.] Once we collect enough money
for fuel our leader will throw open the doors of the forbidden barn where we will all board our
intergalactic vehicle- rows one through 30 first. Upon our arrival, we will begin our new, perfect
lives on Blisstonia well-known for its high levels ofbliss. I don't know about you, but they're not
exactly winning me over with these lousy production values here. I'm gonna slip out. [Man On
Speaker.] You're free to leave whenever you want, but would you mind telling us why? Oh, I just
didn't, uh- I didn't think, um- Oh, it's- it's pretty good. Man, this whole place puffs of the wacky-
tabbacky. I'm out of here. Going somewhere? Uh, though you're free to do so. Uh- [Chuckles
Nervously.] No. Just rearranging my underwear. Ah. There it is. [Man On TV.] When you
surrender yourself to the Movementarians you are guaranteed a perfect life of serenity, love and
loving serenity. - Not a guarantee. - Loving serenity. It's about damn time! - I love the Leader. -
The Leader is perfect. Wait. I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that Internal Affairs
was setting them up? What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there. You see,
when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span. - But our point is
very simple. You see, when- - Oh, look! A bird! - [Chirping.] - [Giggling.] The circle of judgment
never fails to destroy their self-esteem. Then he'll be ours to mold. Let the judgment begin. I'll
get the ball rolling. - You're a fat idiot. - Yeah! Lose some weight! - Hey, man. You're fat. - Fatso. -
Moron. - [All Chattering.] - [Otto.] Fat too. - Well, yeah. I guess I could lose a few pounds. And I
can be kind of thick sometimes. [Chuckles.] You've failed at everything you've ever tried. Whoa.
You've got my number on that one, buddy. This is a smart group. And your stink brings tears to
my eyes. Now wait a minute, Moe. [Sniffs.] - Oh. My mistake. - [Both Sigh.] Why isn't our low-
protein gruel wearing down his resistance like all the others? It doesn't wear down your
resistance if you eat a month's supply. He even ate mine. [Groaning.] - You gonna finish that,
bony? - Oh, "griven"- Let's try the chant. Everyone loves a droning, repetitive chant. Attention,
everyone. Let's all give thanks to the Leader for this glorious day. [Chanting.] The Leader is good.
The Leader is great. We surrender our will as of this date. The Leader is good. The Leader is
great. We surrender our will as of this date. It's no use. He's obviously the most powerful mind
we've ever dealt with. Or- [Singing.] [Singing.] - ## [Continues.] - ## [Singing.] I mean- ##
[Sings.] I love the Leader. - [Marge.] You what? - Come again, Marge? - You what? - I've joined
the Movementarians. And so have all of you. - [Marge.] We what? - All I had to give them was
our life savings, the deed to the house and a commitment of 10 trillion years of labor. I can't go
along with this, Homer. Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my
family. Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed? I have not been brainwashed. Kill
the girl. Kill the girl. - Homer! - What? What did I say? Church, cult. Cult, church. So we get bored
someplace else every Sunday. - Does this really change our day-to-day lives? - Of course not-
except that we're all moving to the Movementarian agricultural compound - to be near the
Leader and serve him. - I'm not leaving my home. - [Door Opens.] - [Chuckles.] Oh, yes, you are.
I'm afraid it's our home now. This house will become the new local welcome center for this
district. And it didn't cost us a dime. Springfield has been overrun by a strange and almost
certainly evil sect calling themselves "the Movementarians." In exchange for your home and all
your money the leader of this way-out and wrong religion claims he'll take believers away on his
spaceship to the planet Blisstonia. Excuse my editorial laugh. [Laughs.] But- Ladies and
gentlemen, I've just learned of a change in this statiors management. Welcome,
Movementarians. Continue to improve our lives. I love you, perfect Leader, and new C.E.O. of
KBBL Broadcasting. I love you, perfect Leader, and new C.E.O. of KBBL Broadcasting. Homer
Simpson, your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years. - Then something might
open up in a double. - [Chuckles.] Why even unpack? - [Groans.] - Dad and all these other people
are obviously the products of mental conditioning. Yeah. Maybe it'll wear off, like his interest in
C.B. radio. That's a negatory, good buddy! I kind of think it's cool. Just pretend you're in a zombie
movie. Besides, this is just another place for me to wreak my special brand of hysterical havoc.
These rubes in robes haven't met the likes of Bart Simpson before. [Cackles.] I love the Leader.
Of course you do. This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants
designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's
pass the collection plate. [Chuckles Nervously.] Looks like slim pickings today, Reverend. Oh,
Lord. Uh, try the emergency plate, Ned. - I don't think that's gonna do it. - Um- See, Marge? Our
lives are so much better now. You two, stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest. When we
got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over. - [All Murmuring.] - [Man.] What's
going on? - Whoa. - What's goir on? Look! The forbidden barn opens. - [All Gasping.] - [Woman.]
He's coming! [All Chattering.] Oh, boy. We get to see the Leader pass by. We toil in the fields, and
he rides around in a Rolls-Royce? Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you
gonna do? I'm covered in the dust of the Leader. He favors me! I am even dustier. Dustier than
thou! Oh, look who the new pet is. I've never been so happy. Smithers, why haven't I heard of
this "the Leader"? He's as rich and wicked as I, but he seems to enjoy tax-exempt status.
[Chuckles.] Actually, sir, with our creative bookkeeping and corporate loopholes, we only pay
three dollars a year. [Gasps.] You're right. We're getting screwed. There must be something I can
do about this. Wait. Yes. I think I know just the thing. [Cackling.] Uh, sir? You have to tell me
what your plan is, or- or nothing will happen. Oh, yes. Of course. The plan. - You see me as a god,
right, Smithers? - Absolutely, sir. - You'd kneel before me. - Boy, would I! Yes. Uh, then I'll form
my own religion with its own symbol. We'll use this special "K." I believe that's already a
breakfast cereal, sir. - And people worship it? - In a way. All right then. Uh, how about this? Uh,
why don't you leave the symbol to me, sir? Ladies and gentlemen, behold your new god Mr.
Burns. - [All Gasp.] - Ahoy-hoy, lowly mortals. In addition to working for me, you may now praise
me as your Almighty. Amen, sir. Mmm! [Groaning.] [Screams.] Uh, we'll try this again tomorrow.
Ah, he's all right. But he's no bowl of Special "K." This is ridiculous. We're already married. But,
Marge, we're not mass married. At least you got to choose your mate. We got matched up on
the printout. - Hey. Remember our agreement. I'm the man. - You're the man! - I could have
done a lot worse, Mother. - Speak for yourself. So, do you enjoy comic books? And who can tell
me where thunder and lightning come from? Yes, Bart? The Leader, ma'am. Very good, Bart. And
who invented Morse code? Oh. I should know this one. The-The Leader? Ah. Correct again. He's
wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong! [Screams.] What's the matter, Lisa? You
used to be such a good student. Don't you want to please your teachers and get good grades?
[Sighs.] Grades? ##[Singing.] [Ends.] These lima beans are even better than the ones we had for
breakfast and lunch. Oh! A lima bean that looks just like the Leader! - I'll put it with the others. -
Homer you know I always try to put the best face on everything but there's no face on that damn
bean! We hate it here! And your family wants to leave. [Bart & Lisa.] No, we don't, Mother. We
love the Leader. No! All righty. Time for bed. I'm leaving this place, and you'd better step aside.
Lady, people are free to go whenever they wish. - [Growling.] - [Barking.] Hi-yah! [Barking.]
[Screaming.] Oh. I never thought I'd have to do this again. [Panting.] Reverend Lovejoy! [Coughs.]
You've gotta help me. My entire family has been taken in by the evil Movementarians. Oh, I feel
for you, my child, and I'd like to help you. [Clears Throat.] [Groans.] - [Clinks.] - Now, how are we
going to get my Homie back? - [Scraping.] - I'll kidnap him for 50 deprogram him for 100, and I'll
kill him for 500. No, no, no. Just the first two. All right. I'll throw in the killir for free. - [Vehicle
Approaching.] - [Together.] Yea! Here comes the Leader! What an honor. We've been called into
the presence of- Marge? You're the Leader? You don't look anything like the beans. - Knock him
out, Reverend! - Ow! Ooh! - Ow! - Oh, the devil has given him superhuman strength. Give me
that, you noodle-armed choir boy! - Ow! - Well, that didn't do it, Mr. Kilt. Look. Let's the three of
us try it together. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! Ooh! Why? Oh, you're gonna break like matchsticks. I
promise you that! Hey. I made some Rice Krispie squares for our hungry deprogrammerinos. Aw,
man! You ruined the atmosphere, ya daft pansy! Well, this is my rumpus room. Ach! Don't call it
that! Outsiders have kidnapped some of our property. We must respond with our deadliest
weapon. The lawyers. - [Bell Ringing.] - Go! Go! Go! [Chattering.] [Siren Wailing.] Attention, all
citizens. - Even though the Leader himself is completely nonviolent- - [Sirens Wailing.] he urges
you to be as violent as you like in capturing the Simpsons. - [Sirens Stop.] - [Tires Screech.]
[Chattering.] What are you doing? They're not here, you idiots! Idiots? That's slander, sir, and we
have it on tape. All right. I'll get out my checkbook. [Grumbles.] - What was that? - Ah, I said-
[Grumbles.] So, you kids really love the Leader, huh? Even more than your parents? - Yeah. No
contest. - Of course. Absolutely. All right already. But do you love the Leader more than having
your very own brand-new hover bikes? - [Humming.] - [Both Gasp.] What do you have to say
about the Leader now, huh? Huh? - What Leader? - The hell with him. He can taking a flying
leap. - And who do you love now? - [Together.] Hover bikes! [Groans.] Close enough. [Both.] Yea!
- [All Groan.] - [Laughs.] Sorry, kids. There's no such thing as hover bikes. They're just a couple of
Huffys on a fishing line. - But we heard them hovering. - Oh, I'm afraid I played a dirty part in this
little charade. [Humming.] - Well, can we at least keep the bikes? - Oh, no. No, no. No, no, no.
They're due back at the store by 6:00. Get off'em. Get off. Off. Get off. All right. Now, what's so
all-fire great about your fancy-pants Leader? The Leader knows all and sees all. Ooh. Well, that is
impressive. And he's going to take us to a wonderful new planet. Oh, this Leader- He sounds like
a grand fella. Willie, I'm not sure we're making any headway here. Would you shut up, woman.
He's talking about my leader. Uh, maybe we should take a little break-a-rooney, huh? Anyone like
a draft beer? Beer? [Salivating.] Would you like a tall, frosty one, Homer? [Thinking.] No. Must
resist temptation. [Thinking.] Go ahead. Give in. Beer! Beer! [Thinking.] Ooh. These cotton-poly
blends are so comfortable. Go on, Homer. Our commandments clearly state that beer is all right.
Try some. [Chattering.] - This man is coming with us. - Homer, you don't have to go with them.
But I want to go. Well, I would say the matter is settled. You know, I pride myself on being a good
host, so I'm obliged to offer you a beer but I'm so darn mad it's gonna be mostly head. Homer,
come back! - That's my husband! - He's our husband now. [All.] Yea! I'm glad I'm back because
the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue I was born again! - [Both Gasp.] - Hallelujah!
Now I can show all of you what I've come to realize. The reason we're not allowed in the
forbidden barn is because there is no intergalactic spaceship. He's taken our money just so he
can build one hell of a spaceship! - [All Gasping.] - [Leader On Speaker.] Homer Simpson because
of your lack of faith, you've ruined mankind's chance for salvation. - Whoops. - Nice goir there,
Homer. Oh, my gosh. Maybe he was telling the truth about everything. Oh, mercy. He's the real
deal! [Humming.] [All Groan.] Come back. Come back! Willie still loves ya, O Great One! Stranger,
you're a-trespassir on my dirt farm. Uh, do you happen to need a messiah? No, but I'll take them
sacks of money from ya. [Groans.] I should have stayed with the Promise Keepers. Damn it! It fell
apart like everything else I've ever believed in. Oh, I guess it's back to good old-fashioned
voodoo. Wow! I need a drink! Come with me. Uh, is that your collar, Reverend? Uh, yes.
[Chuckles.] How did that get down there? Come back to papa, baby. To think, I turned to a cult
for mindless happiness - when I had beer all along. - [Clears Throat.] And you, Marge, the bringer
of beer. - It's wonderful to think for ourselves again. - You said it, Sister. [Man Announcing.] You
are watching Fox. [Together.] We are watching Fox. - [Murmuring.] - Shh!