R&R
Rough & Ready
FEBRUARY 2011
CHINESE STEALTH? ON THE HOMEFRONT
note true love. A pansy declares loving
Valentine Lore thoughts, a periwinkle suggests early
If the first bird a girl sees on Valentine’s friendship and a red tulip professes
Day is: powerful love.
• a robin - she’ll marry a sailor ~
• a goldfinch - a millionaire Here’s what one military brat does:
• a sparrow - a poor man Little David comes home from first
• a woodpecker - she’ll never marry. grade and tells his father that they
So go many of the tales -- some fact, learned about the history of Valentine's
Images that appear to show Beijing's prototype stealth some fable -- that have entwined them- Day.
fighter jet during a 'taxi test' at a facility in western
China.
selves as part of the lore of love and "Since Valentine's day is for a Christian
Valentine’s Day. Here are some valen- saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will
"The first clear pictures of what ap- tine customs in other countries: God get mad at me for giving someone
pears to be a Chinese stealth fighter • In Korea and Japan, ladies give a gift a valentine?"
prototype have been published online. of candy to the men, and on March 14, David's father thinks a bit, then says
White Day, the men give candy to the "No, I don't think God would get mad.
“The photographs, published on sev- ladies.
eral unofficial Chinese and foreign de- Who do you want to give a valentine
• In Britain, flowers and candy are to?"
fense-related websites, appear to show given, but as part of the event, children
a J-20 prototype making a high-speed sing songs and are given candy, fruit "Osama Bin Laden," David says.
taxi test — usually one of the last steps or money. Why Osama Bin Laden?" his father
before an aircraft makes its first flight—
• In Denmark people send snowdrop asks in shock.
according to experts on aviation and
flowers to friends. Men write a joking
China's military. "Well," David says, "I thought that if a
or rhyming letter to a girl and sign it
little American Jewish boy could have
“Several experts said the prototype's with one dot for each letter of their
enough love to give Osama a valen-
body appeared to borrow from the F-22 name.
tine, he might start to think that maybe
and other U.S. stealth aircraft. The • Taiwan celebrates both on February we're not all bad, and maybe start lov-
U.S. cut funding for the F-22 in 2009 in 14 and July 7. Roses are a special ing people a little bit. And if other kids
favor of the F-35, a smaller, cheaper flower at this time. One rose means saw what I did and sent valentines to
stealth fighter that made its first test "you are the only one," 11 roses mean Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And
flight in 2006 and is expected to be "you are my favorite." After that, it gets then he'd start going all over the place
fully deployed by around 2014." more expensive because 99 roses to tell everyone how much he loved
mean "forever," and 100 roses mean
~ "marry me."
them and how he didn't hate anyone
anymore."
• Scotland has parties for men and
Our Valentine for the Barracks Babes His father's heart swells and he looks
women, who draw names for a part-
Since we sent the Rocket Girl poster to the ner. Then they have a dance and may at his boy with new found pride.
guys for Christmas (for obvious reasons), hold marriages. "David, that's the most wonderful thing
we thought it would be only fair to include I've ever heard."
something for you military gals in Febru-
• In Wales, carved wooden love
ary5 and at the same time give you an spoons decorated with keys and pad- "I know," David says, "and once that
opportunity to express your love for the locks are given. The decorations sym- gets him out in the open, the Marines
hunks and show-off some artistic talents, bolize the unlocking of the heart. could blow the crap out of that &*%@!"
too... during your ‘spare’ time, of course. Sending your loved one a card on Val-
(We can all dream, can’t we?!) See re- ~
verse side.
entine's day has been with us properly
since the 1800's when commercial val- I don’t understand why
Note: We sized it so you can make copies entines were first introduced. Cupid was chosen to
to use as a doodle pad. You may have to
Today, 1 billion cards are sent for Val- represent Valentine’s Day.
requisition more copy paper. If you get any
When I think about ro-
hassle, say it’s for target practice (just kid- entine's Day, second only to Christmas
mance, the last thing on
ding, guys) and the justification: Morale (2.5 billion). my mind is a short, chub-
booster.
Flowers are another tradition of Valen- by toddler coming at me
Happy Valentine’s Day! tine’s Day. Red roses are said to de- with a weapon. ~ Source Unknown
Well, DUH! FROM THE BRAT BRIGADE
POLE DANCING?
First Grade Drawing - PRICELESS!
A first grade military brat handed in this drawing ►
for her homework assignment.
The teacher graded it and the child brought it home.
She returned to school the next day with the follow-
ing note:
Dear Ms. Davis,
I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
This picture is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint sur-
rounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money
we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Harrington
Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.
~ Mort Walker
___The___ More From The Brat Brigade
BARRACKS KIDS’ IDEAS ABOUT LOVE
Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked what they thought of
BABES’ love and marriage.
Love and Marriage: If falling in love is anything like learn-
Doodle Pad ing how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long.
~Glenn, age 7
Kissing: (on seeing a couple kissing) He is trying to steal
her chewing gum! ~Roy, age 6
Beauty: It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm
handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to
marry me yet. ~Brian, age 7
How People In Love Act: They act mooshy. Like puppy
dogs, except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as
much. ~Arnold, age 10
Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:
Shake your hips and hope for the best. ~Camille, age 9
The Best Age To Get Married: Twenty three because you
know the person forever by then. ~Pam, age 10
Good Advice About Love: Be a good kisser. It might
make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.
~Erin, age 8
Mission Statement:
Having close ties to the military most of my life, I am a big fan of the
military and wish to bring them some joy and humor with a little bit of
attitude. No offense is ever intended toward any particular group. I am
a mother, grandmother, and mother-in-law of one of your own. Don’t
ask me who (I don’t want him to be embarrassed by my naughtiness)
and don’t ask me how old I am… I’ll only smile and say, “I’m some-
where between the age of consent and collapse, closer to collapse.”
~ Marie Renn, Editor
Email: mrennbiz@gmail.com
