You and Me:
Emotions Book
A collaborative workbook for talking
with your children about emotions
By: Angela Hay
Artwork contributions: Megan McBeath Hay
This book is shared by:
___________________
&
___________________
What is “Emotion Coaching”?
“Emotion Coaching ” is a tool developed by Dr. John Gottman to help parents
better value their child’s emotions and to help teach children how to regulate their
feelings. He found that when parents teach their children how to deal with feelings,
the children function better physically, psychologically, academically, and socially.
Benefits to emotion coaching include higher achievement, higher attention, fewer
infectious illnesses, better impulse control, fewer behavioral problems, less whining,
and require less discipline. Children are also more emotionally stable, more resilient,
and more motivated.
The Steps of Emotion Coaching:
1. Recognize emotions
Notice emotion in both yourself and in others. Share how you feel with your
child. Model positive coping.
2. See an opportunity for connection
Teachable moments are moments of intimacy. Take your child’s emotions
seriously. Try and place yourself in their situation. Encourage conversation.
3. Listen empathetically
All feelings and wishes are acceptable. This means not dismissing how the child
is feeling, rather, validating their experience. Do not be judgmental or argue
with them about their feeling.
4. Name Emotions
Verbally identify what they are feeling. Help your child understand the
emotions using words to describe feelings.
5. Discover possible solutions
Not all behaviors are acceptable. Explain why a certain behavior is
inappropriate to the situation. Set limits to how your child should respond to
their feelings. Help them think through possible solutions.
How to use this book
This book is designed to be a tool for you to use when talking to your child about
emotions. It is full of coloring and activities for you and your child to work on
together, side-by-side. While you color a page, discuss that particular emotion with
your child. What does it feel like to be happy? When was a time you felt sad? What
should you do when someone makes you angry?
The concept of emotion coaching is based on relationships, so this book is truly
meant to be shared between you and your child. It is a process of recognizing your
own emotions as well as the emotions your child is experiencing, so you can have a
more open dialogue. This begins by remaining open and empathetic yourself!
There are some pages especially for the child’s use (marked as “Me”), some
pages especially for the adult’s use (marked as “You”), and some pages to be
worked on together (marked as “You and Me”). There are also some questions at
the bottom of some pages to help guide your conversations as you use this book.
This is just a starting point!
Although this book is designed for preschool and early elementary school aged
children, it is never too late to begin emotion coaching. You can continue practicing
these conversations even into teenage years.
You can use this book when you are going through a particularly hard time or just
looking to have fun and bond together. The conversation does not stop when you
close the book! Continue talking with your kids at the dinner table, during their
favorite show, or as they tell you about their day. Emotions are part of everyday life,
so there is plenty to talk about!
“Me”
I feel…
Draw faces that show how each person is feeling.
Happy Sad
Angry Disgusted
Scared Surprised
“You and Me”
HAPPINESS
Fill this page
with colors
that make you
feel happy!
When something
good
happens, what
colors do you feel
inside?
“Me”
HAPPINESS
Draw a picture of a time you felt happy!
Draw a picture of people, toys, games, or
other things that make you feel happy
“You”
HAPPINESS
Draw a picture of a time you felt happy when
you were little or a favorite childhood memory
Draw a picture of the things that made you happy
when you were a kid
“You and Me”
HAPPINESS
Find these happy words!
E S M I L E R C B P
R I T N X R N H R L
H M T K R M H G O A
U H F I B G D X T Y
G H D G I H A P P Y
R A O I Y S N A Z P
L A U G H W C M P G
X J A G P B E S L R
U G E L C N B V M K
R M N E D C H E E R
GIGGLE PARTY CHEER
HAPPY PLAY DANCE
HUG SMILE LAUGH
“You and Me”
SADNESS
Fill this page with colors that make you
feel sad
When something bad happens,
what colors do you feel inside?
“Me”
SADNESS
Create a story together of a time you felt sad.
Write or draw the story in the boxes.
What happened that made
How were you feeling inside?
you sad?
How did you act when you What did you do to feel
were sad? better?
“You”
SADNESS
Create a story together of a time you felt sad.
Write or draw the story in the boxes.
What happened that made
How were you feeling inside?
you sad?
How did you act when you What did you do to feel
were sad? better?
“You and Me”
SADNESS
Act it out! Take turns acting out some situations
that might make you sad. Then act out what to do to
feel better.
• My best friend won’t play with me at recess…
• My favorite toy breaks...
• It’s raining outside so I can’t go to the park like I
planned...
• Someone I love moves
away…
• I fell down and hurt
myself...
• Add your own stories of
when you felt sad or when
a friend might feel sad
“You and Me”
ANGER
Make an angry face!
What does it feel
like in your body
when you start to
get angry?
What was a time you
felt angry?
Who made you angry?
Where were you?
What happened?
“You and Me”
ANGER
I feel angry when…
“You and Me”
ANGER
It’s okay to get angry sometimes!
But when you are angry, what is it NOT okay to do?
Color the boxes with good things to do when you are
angry and cross out the bad things.
Add your own examples in the last 2 spaces.
Take slow, deep Get a drink of Think of happy
Yell and scream
breaths water things
Run out of the
Count to 10 classroom or
run away
Talk to an
Hit adult
Saying mean
Draw or color
words
“Me”
FEAR
Make a list of things that scare you or times you
felt scared.
What is it? What happened?
How scared were you? Are you still scared?
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________
“You”
FEAR
Make a list of things that scare you or times you felt
scared. What were you scared of when you were little?
• _____________________________
• _____________________________
• ______________________________
• __________________
__________________
• __________________
__________________
• __________________
__________________
“You and Me”
FEAR
How do you make yourself feel better when you see
something scary or something scary happens?
“You and Me”
DISGUST
Draw pictures of things you think are gross
Do they look gross?
Feel gross?
Smell gross?
Sound gross?
Taste gross?
Try circling the drawings
with different colors based
on what sense they find it
disgusting.
“You and Me”
SURPRISE
Draw a picture of a happy surprise
Draw a picture of a sad or scary surprise
