3.

Self-Awareness
 Self Awareness

-Self Awareness is having a clear perception of

your personality, including strengths, weaknesses,
thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions.

- it allows you to understand other people, how

they perceive you, your attitude and your
responses to them in the moment.

- it involves monitoring our inner worlds,

thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It is important,
because it’s a major mechanism influencing
personal development.
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence
Scenario: Imagine that you are a sales manager

You are sitting at your desk reviewing the latest sales figures,
and they look pretty good. Although you are probably not aware
of any strong feelings, you know you are feeling satisfied and
calm. Your phone rings.

You pick it up and hear the angry voice of a client, one of your
biggest accounts, who is threatening to go with another supplier
because a shipment you said you were sending did not arrive.

Immediately, you become aware that you are no longer calm —

your heart is pounding, you feel yourself starting to sweat, and
your breathing is quicker — you know you are feeling anxious.
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence
- Self awareness refers to an awareness of ourselves on
many different levels: our body and our physical
reactions; our emotions, preferences, and intentions;
our goals and values; and our knowledge about how
we come across to others.
- The more self-awareness we have, the more easily we
can adjust our responses to others, and the more
mutually satisfying our interactions and transactions.
- Tuning in to ourselves and becoming more aware of
what we are experiencing as we are experiencing it
improves Emotional Intelligence.
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence

Feel what you are feeling

-Look inward. We are bombarded with messages about

the outside world, yet we often fail to communicate
with the world inside ourselves.

-Once we figure out what we are experiencing, we feed

this data to the thinking brain and make a more
conscious effort to change the negative outlook into a
positive one.
Source: L Sterrett, Emily A..; The Manager's Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence : From Management to Leadership
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence

Feel what you are feeling

- Being self-aware is the key to self control

and freedom of action; out of it can come empathy and
genuine human connection.

- Not being aware of our “self” can also get us into

trouble when someone “pushes our buttons.” We blow
up out of proportion to the situation because a limbic
memory was triggered.
Source: L Sterrett, Emily A..; The Manager's Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence : From Management to Leadership
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence

The Language
of Feelings
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence
Suggestions for increasing self-awareness

1. Writing about a specific question: “What’s important to me?”

After you spend a number of days writing on this topic, begin to
ask yourself: “Is how I spend my time reflective of what’s
important to me?”

2. Become aware of where in the body you are feeling an

emotion: the neck, shoulders, jaw, throat, abdomen,
chest. If you tune in to your physical responses, you
can guide the energy and respond flexibly, rather than
be in the grip of the emotion.
Source: L Sterrett, Emily A..; The Manager's Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence : From Management to
Leadership
 The Role of Self-Awareness in
Emotional Intelligence
Suggestions for increasing self-awareness

3. Develop a habit of self-observation and self-curiosity:

Visualize yourself as if you are observing a third
person.

4. Make yourself spend 15–20 minutes daily on self reflection

and awareness-building. Do something silent, pleasant, and
relaxing, such as a quiet walk, and let your thoughts wander at
will.

Source: L Sterrett, Emily A..; The Manager's Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence : From Management to
Leadership
 Self-concept

- Self-concept is our personal knowledge of who we are,

encompassing all of our thoughts and feelings about
ourselves physically, personally, and socially.

-It also includes our knowledge of how we behave, our

capabilities, and our individual characteristics. Our self-
concept develops most rapidly during early childhood and
adolescence, but self-concept continues to form and change
over time as we learn more about ourselves.

-According to Carl Rogers, self-concept has three

components: self-image, self-esteem, and the ideal self.
 Self-concept

The Social Media Effect: Are

You Really Who You Portray
Online?
Self-concept
 Self-concept
1. Self-evaluation:

What is your ideal self? How much is the difference

between your true self and the ideal self?

- Have lots of friends,

- Be rich
- Be competent in all aspects…
 Self-concept
1. Self-evaluation:

How about your self-image (how you see

yourself)? You want a slim body? You want
big eyes? You want to have lots of friends?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZCySA8L9xA
 Self-concept
Do you think that you perform well with your social
roles? As a student, a daughter / son, brother/sister,
friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, worker, etc.
 Self-concept
2. Other’s image:
How is “me” in others’ eyes?

Looking-glass self (Charles Horton Cooley)

people use the judgments they receive from others

to measure their own worth, values, and behavior.

Some important others: teachers, parents, friends

 Self-concept
2. Other’s image:
How is “me” in others’ eyes?

- My parents are proud of me…

- My supervisor appreciates my work…
- People like to make friends with me…
 Childhood Injunctions
1. Don’t make mistakes!
2. You can’t do anything about it…
3. Things could be worse, so don’t talk so much
about how bad things are…
4. Accept what you have, don’t complain…
5. Don’t be different…do what everybody else
does…

What are your childhood injunctions?

 Childhood Injunctions
1. Don’t be you.
2. Don’t think.
3. Don’t feel.
4. Don’t be close.
5. Don’t trust.
6. Don’t fail.
7. Don’t be foolish.
8. Don’t be important.
9. Don’t let us down.
10. Don’t change.
 Childhood Injunctions
What messages have you received concerning
Your self-worth? ________________________
Your ability to succeed? __________________
Your gender role? _______________________
Your intelligence? _______________________
Your creativity? _________________________
Your ability to be loved? __________________
Your capacity to give love? ________________

Corey, Gerald (2017), I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in Personal Growth,
11th ed., Thomson.
 Self-concept
3. Social Comparison

Upward social comparison: when we compare ourselves with those who we

believe are better than us. These upward comparisons often focus on the
desire to improve our current level of ability.

Downward social comparison: when we compare themselves to others who

are worse off than ourselves. Such downward comparisons are often
centered on making ourselves feel better about our abilities.

https://www.edigest.hk/1517/%E7%86%B1%E8%A9%B1/8%E5%A4%A7%E7%95%A2%E6%A5%AD%E7%94%9F%E6%94%B6%E5%85%A5%E6%8E%92%E8%A1%8C%E6%A6%
9C-%E6%95%99%E5%A4%A7%E7%AB%9F%E7%84%B6%E9%AB%98%E9%81%8E%E4%B8%AD%E5%A4%A7/

https://tube.chinatimes.com/20180916001817-261410
 Self-concept and self awareness

-Understanding the way of your self-concept

developed increases your self-awareness

- the more self-awareness you have, the more

you understand your pattern in communicating
with people
Self-awareness –
The Johari Window
Self-awareness –
The Johari Window
 Growing in self-awareness

1. Dialogue with yourself

2. Listen
3. Reduce your blind self
4. See your different selves
5. Increase your open self
Self-esteem
Self esteem = sense of self-worth

Success and Failure

Our daily experiences cause us to have empowerment or
low self-esteem
After mastering some kills/ positive experience, we
have confidence

“Success-feeds-self-esteem principle”
26
 B. Development of the Social Self: Reflective
Questions
1. Who has provided the most memorable reflected
appraisals in your life: parents, teachers or peers?

2. Which of these was most positive? Which of these was

most negative?

3. How have the appraisals of others served to threaten or

boost your sense of self-esteem?

4. Do you have any personal traits, abilities, or physical

characteristics that have been socially distinctive? Did you
like or dislike being distinctive?
Maslow’s Self-Actualization Theory
Humanistic Theories – to Self
Actualization
~ Carl Roger’s Self Theory

American psychologist,
Born in 1902
 Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self Theory

• Rogers: self theory

– Also called self-actualization theory
– Based on two major assumptions
• personality development is guided by each person’s unique self-
actualization tendency
• each of us has a personal need for positive regard
• Roger’s self-actualization tendency
– Inborn tendency for us to develop all of our capacities
in ways that best maintain and benefit our lives
– Relates to biological functions (food, water, and
oxygen)
 Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
• Rogers: self theory
– Psychological functions
• expanding our experiences, encouraging personal growth,
and becoming self-sufficient
– Self or self-concept
• refers to how we see or describe ourselves
• positive self-concepts: tend to act, feel, and think
optimistically and constructively
• negative self-concepts: tend to act, feel, and think
pessimistically and destructively
Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
• Rogers: self theory
– Real self
• based on actual experience
• represents how we really see ourselves
– Ideal self
• based on hopes and wishes
• reflects how we would like to see ourselves
Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
• Rogers: self theory
– Positive regard
• includes love, sympathy, warmth, acceptance, and
respect, which we crave from family, friends, and
people important to us
– Conditional Vs unconditional positive regard
• conditional positive regard
• refers to the positive regard we receive if we
behave in certain acceptable ways, such as living
up to or meeting the standards of others
 Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
• Rogers: self theory
– Unconditional positive regard
• the warmth, acceptance, and love that others show
you because you’re valued as a human being, even
though you may disappoint people by behaving in
ways that are different from their standards or
values or the way they think
– Importance of self-actualization
• Rogers recognized that our tendency for self-
actualization may be hindered, tested, or blocked
by a variety of situational hurdles or personal
difficulties
Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
• Rogers: self theory
– Unconditional positive regard
• we will experience the greatest self-actualization if
we work hard and diligently to remove situational
problems, resolve our personal problems, and,
hopefully, receive tons of unconditional positive
regard
Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
– Characteristics of self-actualized individuals
• perceive reality accurately
• independent and autonomous
• prefer to have a deep, loving relationship with
only a few people
• focus on accomplishing their goals
• report peak experiences (moments of great joy
and satisfaction)
Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory

•Core Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People

1. Self awareness
2. Freedom
3. Basic Honesty and caring
4. Trust and autonomy
Core Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People

1. Self awareness
– Efficient perception of reality
– Ethical awareness
– Freshness of appreciation
– Peak moments
2. Freedom
– Detachment, creativity, spontaneity
3. Humanistic Theories – Carl Roger’s Self
Theory
3. Basic Honesty and Caring
– Sense of social interest
– Interpersonal relationships
– Sense of humour
4. Trust and Autonomy
– Search for purpose and meaning
– Autonomy and independence
– Acceptance of self and others
 Humanistic Approach
to Human Growth
•Self-actualization is the core of a humanistic
view of people

•Self-actualization is a process you work toward,

rather than a final destination at which you
arrive

•Striving for growth implies becoming all you

are capable of becoming Abraham Maslow’s
model of the self-actualizing person offers a
foundation for understanding growth
 Self Efficacy
- Self-efficacy is the belief we have in our own abilities,
specifically our ability to meet the challenges ahead of
us and complete a task successfully (Akhtar, 2008).

- General it refers to our overall belief in our ability to

succeed, but there are many more specific forms of
self-efficacy as well (e.g., academic, parenting, sports).

https://positivepsychology.com/self-efficacy/
 Self Efficacy vs Self Esteem
-Self-esteem is conceptualized as a sort of general or
overall feeling of one’s worth or value (Neill, 2005).
- Self-esteem is focused more on “being” (e.g., feeling that
you are perfectly acceptable as you are), self-efficacy is
more focused on “doing” (e.g., feeling that you are up to a
challenge).
- High self-worth can definitely improve one’s sense of self-
efficacy, just as high self-efficacy can contribute to one’s
sense of overall value or worth, but the two stand as
separate constructs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsubJzUdMRU
https://positivepsychology.com/self-efficacy/