100% found this document useful (1 vote)
41 views77 pages

El Chavo del Ocho: A Child's Diary

This summary outlines the diary entries of an impoverished boy known as El Chavo del Ocho. He recounts living in an orphanage with a cruel caretaker and befriending another boy there. The diary details his escape from the orphanage and subsequent experiences living on the streets while very hungry.

Uploaded by

anna
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as TXT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
100% found this document useful (1 vote)
41 views77 pages

El Chavo del Ocho: A Child's Diary

This summary outlines the diary entries of an impoverished boy known as El Chavo del Ocho. He recounts living in an orphanage with a cruel caretaker and befriending another boy there. The diary details his escape from the orphanage and subsequent experiences living on the streets while very hungry.

Uploaded by

anna
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as TXT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Page 1

THE DIARY OF EL CHAVO DEL OCHO


D. R. @ Text and illustrations: Roberto Gómez Bolaños, 1995
G reading point
From this edition:
D. R. @ Punto de Lectura, SA de CV, 2005
Av. Universidad núm. 767, col. from the valley
cP 03100, México, DF Telephone 54207530
[Link]

Fifth reprint: October 2005


ISBN: 9707310944
D. R. @ Cover design:
drawings by Roberto Gómez Bolaños

Printed in Mexico

one

Page 2

Foreword
By Roberto Gómez Bolaños

I was sitting on one of those beautiful iron benches


forged that are still found in some city parks.
He settled on the portable bench that was part of his
work team, and began to carry out his task with unusual
enthusiasm. Then I watched him more closely, and
I instantly understood what had been the reason that justified my
foreboding: that child was the total embodiment of tenderness.
It took me a lot of work to start a conversation with him, as he was
notorious that my questions provoked the natural suspicion of those who
His baggy pants had more patches and patches than
original fabric. They were precariously supported by two strips of
fabric that served as braces, poured over an old and
faded t-shirt in which the
patches and patches. He wore a pair of shoes from the so-called
type "miner" that evidently had belonged to an adult.
But the most characteristic of his outfit was the old cap with
earmuffs, which in cold weather should have been not
little use, but that, when I met him, in the height of summer,
they only accentuated the grotesqueness of his figure.
Fat, boss? he had asked me showing the drawer of
shiner. And I was about to answer no, since
my shoes were in pretty good shape, but
then the presentiment arose; that something that impels us to
make decisions without apparent justification. So that
I answered affirmatively.

is used to receiving very little almost nothing, I would say of


others.
What's your name? asked.
Pus doesn't matter, right?
…….? What does it matter?
Call me whatever. Either way they all say
that I am Chavo del Ocho. *
How old are you? I kept asking.
My age is how old I am.
So: how old are you?
Eight, I think ...
Where were you born?
I can't remember it because I was very young when
i was born.
So I paused trying to get him to be himself
* Singular nickname, whose origin is explained later.

two

Page 3

who resumed the conversation, but it was evident that his


shyness prevented him from doing it. Therefore, I also interrupted the
interrogation.
I gave him a big tip when he finished polishing my
shoes. That brought a glow to his eyes that before
had been absent, and to start dancing while
exclaimed:
With this I can buy a ham cake ... or
two or three...!
And then, uttering a quick and enthusiastic "thank you",
nimbly he lifted his work harness and rushed into the
street, where he began to avoid the intense traffic of cars
with that skill that only poor children of the
populous cities. Then, while losing sight of him, still
I managed to hear again the words that seemed magical:
"Ham cake!" It was then that I discovered the notebook.
He had left it on the side of the park bench where
I was sitting. And it was easy to assume that it was property
of Chavo del Ocho, because his pitiful state matched
owner. It was an ordinary notebook that showed with all
clarity the continuous use to which it had been subjected. Of the
cardboard pastes were only small and
uneven lumps stained with grease, dust, sweat i and wow
you know what else! The leaves, some too
incomplete, they were rolled at the ends and showed
also great quantity of spots of the most varied

origins; but in them was contained the most


spontaneous that my eyes have never been able to see: “El Diario del
Chavo del Ocho".*
The first time I read it I felt the remorse of who
you know you are violating a person's privacy. But i read it
for the second time and the feeling became one of
restlessness, from which he later passed to laughter, sadness and
astonishment. Then I convinced myself that it was necessary to give
public the opportunity to know that world strangely
optimistic in which a child who lacks
everything, except that which continues to be the engine of the universe:

* Nowhere in the manuscript is the word "diary" mentioned, but I


I took the liberty of giving it such a title instead of "notes", "notes" or
something similar,
because despite the lack of a chronological order, the word "diary" seemed more
in keeping with the intimacy contained in what is written in the old notebook.
NOTE: Of course, the manuscript contains countless errors
grammar, syntax, etc. For this reason I have been forced to correct, but
ensuring that, as far as possible, the flavor of the original remains. Sometimes
for
For example, I had to form the phrase that was weakly suggested, and sometimes
(very few) I had to come to the addition or deletion of phrases and words. in
addition
I had to do some paragraph rearrangement; but instead I didn't modify the
Apparent disorder in which the events or the appreciations of Chavo are narrated.

3
Page 4

The newspaper
By Chavo del Ocho
I used to think that I never had a dad. But
then my friends explained to me that this was not possible; that
all those who are born is because before his father slept with his
mother. What happened was that I didn't know my dad. So
he just went to bed and left.
I did know my mother, but just a little bit. Like her
I had to work, every day he would take me to a house that
called nursery school, and there I used to spend it until my mother
he would come back later to pick me up. The bad thing was that the poor
she arrived very tired from so much work, and when she said she was going to
picking up her son they asked her: "What is it?", and she replied:
"I don't know; one of those", and then they gave him the child they had
more at hand. and of course they did not always give him the same child.
So the safest thing is that I am not me.

THE KID

Page 5

One day my mom didn't come to pick me up.


and the other days either.
DOÑA FLORINDA

Page 6

because the Chilindrina is not gross. In what is equal to


his dad is lazy, that's why he doesn't like school.
I would also like to have an aunt. Or a dog.
Or something...

In spite of everything, I would like to have a mother.


There are so many, that I do not know why I did not touch one,
even if it wasn't the best. Of course there are many moms who
They have several children, but there are others who only have one, such as
it happens with Doña Florinda. So Quico has a mother
complete for him alone. And the fool misbehaves and
disobey! And I tell Quico not to be stupid, not to
waste.
I would also like to have a dad, but not like Ron
Damón, * who is Chilindrina's father, because Ron Damón
sticks a lot.
Well, Doña Florinda also hits a lot, but not to her
son ... she just hits Ron Damón.
Ron Damón is very gross. And they say that the children come out
just like parents, but it's not true
• It is evident that the character is "Don Ramón", but as Chavo calls him
always "Ron Damón", we will transcribe it this way.

Page 7
I remember that long ago they took me to live in a house
that it was an orphanage where all the children were orphans.
The main manager was Mrs. Martina, who
he was always in a bad mood and hit all the children. TO
I once had blood drawn from my nose and then got mad because
I stained my clothes with blood, and then he punished me by leaving me
a day without eating. Since then I took great care to
prevent blood from coming out of my nose again, and the only time
that failed me was one day that I tripped and went to hit one
as a step that was there. But Mrs. Martina did not reach
realize why I quickly went to the laundries and washed
my clothes. The only bad thing was that I had to put the
clothes while still wet. Then she asked me
why was my clothes wet, and I told him that I had
rained. But she told me that I was a liar, because I did
two months that it did not rain.
And he punished me for another day without eating.

In the orphanage there was a boy older than me, who was
called Chente and he was my best friend.
The bad thing about Chente was that he was always
ill.
And so on, until he died.

Page 8

Then, as time passed and Mrs. Martina left


Sometimes some ladies went to the orphanage to check
to the kids. Then they chose the one they liked the most and gave it to them.
making more and more pegalona, I thought that the best would be
escape from the orphanage. But it never occurred to me the way
led to live with them. And I really wanted me
to do it. This happened because I was stupid and therefore I
they chose me, but they always chose the most beautiful; that is,
I lacked imagination to come up with good ideas.
that I never went out. Because I was so ugly that when
we played hide and seek the other children preferred to lose
So I already had two reasons for being sad: one, the
before I find myself.
not being able to get away, and two, realizing how silly I was.
And one day I got so sad that I started crying; and
when Mrs. Martina asked me why I was crying,
I had no choice but to confess that I wanted to escape
from there. Then she said, "Said it before," and opened the
door.
8

Page 9

In exchange for this I just had to carry buckets


of water so he could wash the cars. But the lord was
so good that he not only invited me to sleep in the cars,
but sometimes he also invited some young ladies; and even he
He himself kept keeping them company.
I walked through many streets that I did not know. No
They were very pretty streets, like the ones that appear in the movies of
television; but they weren't very ugly either, like others that
they are also seen on television.
But worst of all was how hungry he was. Because in
this life the most important thing is to eat.
That's why I got into the market, where there were a lot of
things to eat. The bad thing was that I had no money to
purchased. Then I thought to steal something, but I remembered that it was
It is a sin to steal things, especially when the owner is someone else.
So what I did was ask for something to be given to me, and a
Madam gave me two carrots. But the best was up to date
Next, a man gave me a ham cake. No
there can be nothing more good in this life!
There was another man who was also very good and gave me
permission to sleep in the cars he took care of at night.

Page 10

One day I walked to an alley that was


very dark, and I started to feel scared. So I started

When I approached them the first thing that called me


Attention was that one of the children was painting his face.
This child was the Pinacate, and he knew how to do that of throwing thre
balls in the air without dropping any. This did it,
as he told me, in a nearby corner where there is a traffic light
which takes a long time with the red light, which causes the cars to
stop for a while. So he and another kid would do that
to throw the balls so that they would later give them a tip. The
Another boy was called Rabbit, but he didn't know how to throw the ball
walk faster, but all I got was to get to another
alley that was even darker than the previous one, and I entered
more fear. I kept running until I came out to a place where
there was a little light. It was one like terrain where there was
a lot of garbage and a lot of waste. There were also dogs
looking for things in the trash.
And there were also children. It was like eight or nine.
Almost all of them were older than me, except for two who
they were younger, or who knows.
The biggest of all was the Backpacks. Then they explained to me
that they called him like that because they had long ago
hand. So they had cut it once it got infected
much. But he had the other hand, with which he hit more
stronger than all his peers. And that's why everyone else
they obeyed.

What theon
Rabbit
get on
fours
so that
climbed
top ofdid
it, was
because
thatallwas
easier
thanthe
thePinacate
motorists saw the Pinacate when he threw the balls.
I wanted to ask more questions, but then the
Backpacks told the Pinacate to hurry up to finish
Paint the face. El Pinacate did what he was ordered and after a while he
He went from there in the company of the Rabbit. I mean: they went to t
where the traffic light takes a long time with the red light.
The other children talked very little, and I didn't even
They asked who I was or where I came from. Some
they only stared at me, others said things that I
I did not understand. And I don't know why, but it started to give me mor
afraid. After a while the Backpacks started to smoke and then
He passed the cigarette to the boy who was next to him. This one just ga
one puff on the cigar and passed it on to the next. And the others
They did the same, until the cigarette reached me. Then
I also sucked on it, but it gave me a hell of a cough.

10

Page 11

Some started laughing at me, while others laughed at me.


They looked like they wanted to ask me something. But not me
They asked nothing, all they did was take my cigarette from me.
They also had a plastic bag, which had something
inside; something that smelled similar to how workshops smell where
they paint cars. But I didn't have much time to smell, because
at that moment the Pinacate came running, saying that the
One day I was going down another street that I did not know, wh
Rabbit slapped. I mean: he was saying that the Rabbit
it started to rain a lot. So I went into a neighborhood. Y
he was dead, and then they all ran away.
since then I have lived there.
I was the last to arrive, but I also managed to see the
First I stayed in apartment number 8, in which
Rabbit that was there on the pavement, without moving and all full
there
lived
a very old lady, who told me that I remembered her
of blood. But I didn't want to get too close, because I started
to
a
grandson
she had had.
feel something very strange. In other words: as if he wanted to vomit. But what
This little old woman from 8's hands were shaking a lot,
vomited, if he had not eaten anything?
for which he could not do many things. That's why I
El Pinacate didn't get too close to him either. Maybe because
helped.
I did not want others to realize that I was
But she always said: "God will have to make me the
crying. Although it was not very noticeable, because the tears
miracle
that my hands will ever stop shaking. "
they looked as if they were part of the paint on his face.
Until one day I came to the house and realized
Then I really wanted to run away.
that her hands were no longer shaking; and all of her was still,
Plaster was what I did: I ran and ran without stopping at all.
still.
I never saw all those children again. Or well: yes I have
I think they buried her the next day.
to see again, but only in dreams. And when this happens,
But shortly after another person came to occupy the
I always wake up breathing hard and like I have a lot
house
number
8, so I had to get out of there. Without
cold.
However, as he already had many friends in the neighborhood, one day
they invited me to sleep in a house and another day in

eleven
Page 12

other. And so to date. Because it is not true that I live


inside a barrel, as some have said. What happens is that
I get into the barrel when I don't want others to give in
realize I'm crying. And also when I don't have
want to see others. Or when I have many things in
what to think.
Anyway, people had already gotten used to
call me El Chavo del Ocho, and that's how they keep calling me
everybody.

PROFESSOR JIRAFALES

12

Page 13

Then the two of them enter Doña Florinda's house.


But nobody knows how much they do in there.

La Chilindrina says that Professor Jirafales is


in love with Doña Florinda, and that is why, when he is
in front of her, the professor's eyes turn like an ox
ill.
And he says that Doña Florinda is also in love with the
Professor Jirafales. That she also shows a lot, because
laughs like an idiot every time the teacher comes to the neighborhood;
which happens almost every day.
Doña Florinda receives him saying always the same thing: "Professor!
Giraffes! "And the teacher also always answers the same thing:
"Doña Florinda!"
What a miracle that comes this way! she says.
I came to bring you this humble gift, ”he says, giving her a
bouquet that also seems to always be the same.
They are beautiful, she says, Do you not like to go to have a
cup of coffee?
Won't it be too much of a hassle?
It is none, come in.
After you.

13

Page 14

that now he has no choice but to live with the


rabble, we are the Chilindrina, me and everyone else.
Later we realized that maybe it was
what Doña Florinda said is true, because one day she showed us a
photograph of Don Federico, and there we could see that he was wearing
put on a very nice white uniform.
But the uniform was the only nice thing, because the man was
Quico is also an orphan. But not as much as I,
horrible. By telling them he was identical to Quico! That is: the same
because he does have a mother, which is Doña Florinda, and the only thing buttock
face, just with mustaches. But with the same eyes
what is missing is a dad.
warm egg and the same skinny sow cheeks.
According to Doña Florinda, what happened was that her husband
The saddest thing was when we knew the way it was
he died when Quico was just beginning to pronounce
Quico's father died, because what happened was that his ship was
his first words, or as Chilindrina says: "When
sank into the sea, and he had to die drowned, or chewed
Quico was just beginning to say his first
by a shark.
bullshit ".
At that time e! Quico's father worked as a sailor
on a boat, but Doña Florinda says that Don Federico (who thus
it was called e! Quico's father) was not only a sailor, but
which was also e! captain of! ship; and that, therefore, they
they had more money than e! Mr. Barriga himself.
Then Ñoño said that could not be true, since
her dad is the owner of the whole neighborhood. But Doña Florinda
He said yes, that they had been delicious; and that what happened
was that when she became a widow she could not get good jobs, and
therefore each time he was having less money. I mean

14

Page 15

The Espag; ueti Crudo.


The Column
Red Light.
red is "high".)
The
of (Because
Independence.
And others that we couldn't remember.
But the best of all is still the Maistro Longaniza.

At school the teacher scolded me for having told him


Maistro Longaniza instead of Professor Jirafales. But what
It happened was that I was sparked, because everyone was silent
when I was saying it. So it was unintentional
wanting.
And he left me without recess anyway. Is that I
They have patience. But then, at the time of departure, between all
we began to remember the different nicknames that we have
put Professor Jirafales, and we even made a list that is the
following:

The Maistro Longaniza.


The Stopped Railroad.
The Saltillo Slide . (Because he was born in Saltillo, they say.)
The Riata of Jaripeo.
The Pipe Tube.
El Palo Ensebado.
The Pole with Legs.
The Unrolled Intestine.
The Telephone Pole

fifteen

Page 16

Mr. Barriga is the richest man in the world, because


He owns all of the neighborhood. In other words, all those who live
there they have to pay him rent every month. Well all
less Ron Damón, who never pays. And the same happens with
Jaimito the Postman. But I think the others do pay.
That is why Mr. Barriga has so much money that he
enough to buy all the food you want. And so
himself is also the fattest man in the world.
By the way, once Professor Jirafales explained to us
that the word "epidemic" means that many people are
sick of the same disease. So the disease is
a lot and is widely distributed. That is why I think that when he
Mr. Barriga gets sick to his stomach, it's as if the whole
empidemia out to himself.

SEÑOR BARRIGA
16

Page 17

When he was chatting with me during recess, he


Professor Girafales told me that good children never hit
others. So I am a bad boy.
Sometimes it makes me want to be a good boy, but it comes
Ñoño and spoils everything. Because he carries things to eat and not
invites me. So it gives me a lot of courage and I have no more
remedy than hitting him. Another that prevents me from being a good bo
Quico, because he has many toys and he does not lend them to me. I mea
Very soon Mr. Barriga will have to settle for
that I also have to crack him.
be the second fattest man in the world. The one who will
On the other hand, the one I never hit is Godínez. Because
take away the championship is his son Ñoño, who spends his life
Godínez
responds by hitting harder. Well once I did
swallowing.
I got very angry with Godínez and we had a good entrance of
The other day Ñoño brought three ham cakes to school, and
madrazos. I ended up with blood in my nostrils; but Godínez did not
He did not want to invite me a single one. That's why I had to break him
He left clean, because I splashed him with blood.
everything called expensive.
And many times they have also made me want to hit him
The bad thing was that Ñoño cracked with his dad, and his dad cracked
Chilindrina,
but women should never be beaten.
with Professor Jirafales. Then Professor Girafales told me
(As much as they deserve it.) And that's why they abuse you so much,
that what I had done was very badly done. Which is not
true, because I split it well and beautifully. And if they don't believe it, just
because they can hit men. Which gives
A lot of courage. and if you don't believe it, just ask Ron
ask Godínez.
Damón, who always has to put up with the blows that
Anyway the teacher punished me by leaving me without
da Doña Florinda.
playtime.
By the way, Ron Damón once told me that he
But Professor Girafales spent all the time
I
wish
that
Doña Florinda had been a man so that she could
talking to me and he didn't go out to recess either. So he
answer him; but I told him that it did not suit him, because if being
he punished himself, because he realized that he too
woman Doña Florinda puts it like sweet potato, being a man she already
I deserved punishment for having punished me.
I would have sent to the cemetery.

17

Page 18

At school we study animals.


The difference between animals and things is
that animals are living beings. (Less when they are already

than take it off. But also the cows have a skin that
It is used to make shoe soles. And that same skin serves
to wrap the cow. In other words: so that it does not spread out.
The manure is used to let the cows know what they are doing.
The husband of the cow is called a bull, and it is the one they use
bullfights. But outside of that the bulls are useless for
nothing else, since they neither give milk nor are they edible, since
its meat is too tough for one to chew through
taste. Bulls are only useful again when they lose
intelligence, because then they make them oxen and put them to pull
dead.) and the difference between animals and plants is
the plow.
But the most beautiful animals are dogs. and also
that animals do not stay in a fixed place, but
They
are
the most intelligent, because they learn to do many things.
they change places by walking, swimming or flying. Of the
If
you want to teach a dog something, the first thing
plants, on the other hand, the only ones that walk are the plants of
you have to do is know more than the dog.
the feet.
But there are also tricks that help, like giving them
There are also many differences between some animals and
some food every time they get things done right. For example:
others. For example: there are some that hatch from an egg and others
you throw a ball very far and then you order him to
that come out of your mom. Those that come out of their mom are called
bring. So if the dog brings you the ball, you give it a little
mammals. (Well, if they came from their father they would be called papiferous.)
of food. But if it doesn't bring you the ball, you have to go for it and
And the ones that come out of the egg are called chicks.
you don't give the dog any food. In other words: it is better that you do n
We must never forget that animals are very useful
bring the ball, because then you can eat what you
for us, because there are animals that are dedicated to work and
you were going to hit the dog.
others who are dedicated to making people eat them.
Of all the animals, the hogs are the most
And of all the animals the most useful is the cow, for
pigs,
but
inside they are very tasty.
apart from being edible, he also gives us his milk. Okay,
so it is said, although in reality the cow does not give us its milk: there is

18

Page 19

Those with a hump are called camels; but the Popis


says the camel got the hump because they tried to
passed through the eye of a needle.
Giraffes have the longest necks. Y
how good they have it like that, because if they didn't have the neck
so long, the head would be floating in the air.
Other animals that are very beautiful are horses. Y
They are also very useful, as they can be used for mounted,
to pull carts, to carry things, etc., etc., etc.
Professor Jirafales says that the first ones who used
the horses were the Chinese, but Chilindrina says no,
used by mares before.

Today we continue to study animals again.


Professor Jirafales explained to us that the animals that
Those who eat meat are carnivores, those who eat fruit are fruit eaters;
those who eat insects are insectivores, and so on.
Then Quico said that those who eat enchiladas are
Enchiladivores and those who eat pinched fat are
fat plice eater.
But Professor Girafales scolded Quico for
have said that.
Then he asked what were the animals that ate
of everything, and I replied that those who ate everything were the
rich.

19
Page 20

When Mr. Barriga comes to collect his rent, Ron


Damon gets so nervous that he makes balls when he speaks. For
example: instead of deciding "Be patient, Mr. Belly", you
He says "Have a belly, Mr. Patience." And in the same way he has
said "You have the whole belly, Mr. Reason"; and also
"Give me a tummy, Mr. Charity", etc.
But Mr. Barriga has already threatened to throw her out of the
neighborhood, because he says he is tired of going to collect without
get paid. Then Ron Damón advised him to rest
staying at home, but Mr. Barriga told him he was a
shameless and that he had to pay him fourteen months of
rent he owed him, and what was he worth doing before
10 put of legs in the street. Then Ron Damón told him
that at the moment he had no money, but not to worry;
that he would not forget his debt all the days of his life.
And he has fulfilled it, because he never forgets that he follows
owing.

Professor Jirafales scolded me because I wore the ears


dirty at school, but no way to leave them at home, right?
Then he told me that I should wash my ears.
But for what? If I still hear quite well.
And then he told me that I should wash my neck too
and my hands, and I told him that I had washed my hands.
The bad thing was that then he asked me when I washed my
hands, but not that I had so much memory.
Finally he asked me when I last bathed
time, but frankly I still haven't bathed for the last time.
You should ask that of those who have already died, because the
that we are alive we cannot know when will be the last time
that we bathe.
He also said that I should not bathe after
eat breakfast. Yeso anyone understands it, because if I had myself
what to bathe after having breakfast, because I would not bathe
never.

twenty

Page 21

heaven. (But what idiots, right? Because if reinforced concrete


It's difficult, just imagine if it were made of paper.)

In grammar class the teacher explained to us that


"syntax" does not mean that there is a taxi strike in the city
(as Ñoño thought), but it is the way to order the
words in the sentence.
Then Popis said that she already knew how to order
words in prayer, and he released himself saying: "Our Father who
you are in Heaven ... "But the teacher told him that he was not
speaking of the prayer that we make to God, but of the
prayer in general. Then Popis said: "Our general who
you're in the Armies ... "but he couldn't continue because the teacher

Anyway, Professor Jirafales told us that it was there


where the tongues parted. This made the Chilindrina
jump up and look scared. And so he asked: "What
was what he says happened? "And the teacher repeated:" That there was
where the languages parted. "Then the Chilindrina
he asked, "So what were they doing?" And the teacher repeated
that what they were doing was a tower.
Later he clarified that when speaking of tongues he was
referring to languages. Which made Ñoño start
brag saying that your dad speaks many languages. And you
he asked Popis if the same thing happened with his aunt Florinda;
but Popis told him no, that his aunt Florinda does not even dominate his
own language, because every so often he bites it.
The teacher then went on to explain everything to us and said tha
what happened in the paper tower was that everyone started
He told her to pay attention to what he was saying.
notice that each one spoke a different language. (but did not clarify
if later they dubbed them or if they gave them titles in Spanish.)
And what he was saying is that a lot of people are destroying the
language and that there is a risk that later they will no longer be able to
communicate with each other, as happened in the paper tower, * which was
a tower they were building a long time ago, and the
which they wanted to be so high, so high, that it could reach up
• Obviously referring to the Tower of Babel.

twenty-

Page 22

La Chilindrina says that Doña Clotilde is the Witch of 71.


(because he lives in house number 71.) And they think the same
Quico and La Popis, but Jaimito the Postman says it's not true,
Well, if she were a witch, why doesn't she do witchcraft to
become a pretty young woman?
So I don't believe in witches either.
But that they exist, they exist! There is no way to know if
She is or is not a witch, but just in case, the best thing is not
never run into Doña Clotilde.
When I run into her, I feel very afraid and
gives the club. So I get stuck and I can't even
move. And then they have to pour cold water on me so that
I can move.
By the way, one day Popis asked me what do I know?
feel when he gives you the club, but it is not easy to
explain, because what it feels is that one begins to feel
like he's not feeling anything. Then you already feel that no
you feel so much, and so on, until you feel that you no longer feel what
you feel.

DOÑA CLOTILDE
THE WITCH OF 71

22

Page 23

Then Popis herself reminded me that Doña Clotilde is


in love with Ron Damon; and said that only a witch would be able to
of that.
In addition, the Witch of 71 every so often gives cakes to
Ron Damón, and La Chilindrina thinks that maybe she puts
toloache and other things of those that make people idiots. But
I think that, to be an idiot, Ron Damón didn't need
eat nothing.

Yesterday there was a History exam.


There were ten questions. And I only answered wrong the
first.
The others did not give me time to answer them.
The thing about history is that teachers do
traps, because they ask you things that happened when you did not
he had even been born. And worst of all is that every time I know
it makes it more difficult to study, because things always keep happening
On the other hand, it was very easy for adults, because when they
They studied almost nothing had happened.
But anyway, the history classes are very
fun, it is as if they told you stories.
Like the one that they made a Revolution so that
things will improve.

23

Page 24

The only one who did not want to be president was Emilio Zapat
What he wanted was for everyone to be a peasant.
The bad thing was that the rich landowners preferred to be rich
landowners rather than being peasants; and since they did not
Okay, the peasants started killing the rich
landowners and wealthy landowners began to kill the
farmers. And total, that the land was not occupied by
peasants or wealthy landowners, but the dead who had
After the exam we have had many more classes
to bury; because at that time they killed so many that the
of History, and so that I do not forget I will write everything
average was that people died one per person.
I remember.
There was also a cowboy named Pancho Villa,
There was a president named Don Porfirio, who was
who had many friends and many women. But to whom the most
the one that endured the Mexicans the longest.
he appreciated was his horse, which was called Siete Leguas. And
But presidents can only pass it off
Account that Pancho Villa had such good aim with the pistol,
presidents for six years, and when they realized
that where he put his eye he put the bullet. And he kept putting the
that Don Porfirio had already lasted much longer, they told him
eye.
that was not worth it.
The smartest of all was called Carranza, because he was the
Then one called Francisco Madero arrived
who knew best to read and write, for which he wore glasses
(just like the street) and declared the War of the Revolution. Y
so young. Carranza also knew how to make laws. However
that is winning!
he didn't even know how to hold a gun. Better grab other things.
Then Francisco Madero became president;
But the one that grabbed the most was one called
but just a little bit, because another came along that was very bad and killed
Obregón, who only had one hand. But with that
Madero and even removed him from president.
it was enough.
Then another War of the Revolution began. But not
The most curious thing of all is that in Mexico there have been
against Don Porfirio, but everyone against everyone; because everyone
many streets that are named after presidents, and a
they wanted to be presidents
president named after Calles.
24

Page 25

that. We know this because Jaimito is always counting


beautiful things in Tangamandapio, which is the town where he
was born. And I imagine it must be a very pretty town,
because whenever he talks about it, Jaimito says that it is "a little town
enchanting with flushed twilights. "And when he remembered
ends up putting petted dog eyes.
Jaimito likes plants so much that he doesn't even laugh
The other day, when I came back from school, I saw that Jaimito
when they make jokes about it. For example: one day we were
I was cutting branches from the rose bushes that are in the pots.
talking about flowers that have perfume, and got mad when
I asked him why he mistreated plants like this, but
Godínez said that the most fragrant plants are the plants of the
Jaimito told me that he was not mistreating them;
feet.
he was ripping off a few feet.
Then Popis said that the most dangerous plants are
For a moment I thought that Jaimito was
power plants, and again Jaimito got angry.
freaking out, but then he explained to me that it's not that the plants
That's why I think that Jaimito should be a gardener in
have feet like people (they would have already left), but that way
Instead of being a postman, but he says he's been a postman all his life.
twigs are told to cut them. Then those twigs
The bad thing is that, when he returns from work, he always arriv
are buried in other pots and begin to grow until they are
very tired to the neighborhood. And what tires him the most is having to
they turn into rosebushes that give flowers and everything.
carry the bicycle, because Jaimito the Postman does not know
riding a bicycle.
Jaimito says that these new rose bushes have been the
But you can't say you don't know how to ride a bike,
children of the other. And I told him that it is good that children are not born
because if his bosses found out about this, he would lose his job as a
like the rose bushes, because they would have to cut off the mother's foot and
postman. And that's why he gets so tired.
then buried in a pot to grow. So
Then stay tired all day. And that's why he doesn't want
each mother could not have more than two children.
do nothing: because you prefer to avoid fatigue, as he says.
What happens is that Jaimito knows a lot about plants
because in Tangamandapio there are many trees and flowers and everything

25

Page 26

I think what happened was that Jaimito started


work as a postman before bicycles were invented, as the
probecito is older than spiders. Of course he never wants
say how old he is, but I imagine he is not
400. That is why his skin hangs like turkey mucus.
Anyway, Jaimito the Postman says that he
would like to spend his last days in Tangamandapio, but I
I see very difficult. Unless I left there in fifteen
minutes.

Ñoño got very angry when we said that his dad seems
spilled water tank. But what fault do we have that
Does your dad look like a spilled water tank?
Then there was no way to get Ñoño to
make me happy. And that's why he threatened us all by saying:
"They are going to see; I am going to accuse them with the scattered wat
that the truth was sparked, because what he wanted to say was that
.he thought to accuse us with his dad.
And he was like this when Doña Clotilde found him,
She said that I shouldn't cry about it and that I learn from her not
she gets angry when they call her "witch". But i'm sure
that is a lie, because I have seen many times how he gets angry
Doña Clotilde when they say so. However, she insisted on
that he was telling the truth; and then, as proof, Nino
He said "witch, witch, witch." (Thus: three times.) And Doña Clotilde,
like nothing.
With this I was encouraged and approached to say "witch",
but Dona Clotilde continued without getting angry. And the same happen

26

Page 27

Popis, Quico and Godínez, because he did not get angry when they
Florinda, who was passing by at that time, and let go
They said "witch".
saying that we were "such by which and that that was what
But we were all very happy to know that
bad to live among the mob. And all that, of course, putting that
we could safely say "witch" when the
melted candle face that amuses us so much.
Chilindrina and we spoiled the party. And it is that she arrived
After that the Chilindrina said something that I did not understan
asking why we were so happy, and I replied
very well. But I asked him to repeat it so I could write it.
because Doña Clotilde no longer gets angry when we tell her
And this is what she said: "With this you just did, Doña
"witch"; but instead of cheering up, Chilindrina got very
Florinda is reminding us that we should never lose faith
it would be, as if hesitating. So I said to him: "If I don't
in the Human Gender ".
Do you think go and tell him witch so you can see that he does not get angry ".
But the Chilindrina answered me. "If you are not going to get angry,
what do I say witch? "
Then the rest of us realized the mistake that
we had committed, because the beauty of deciding "witch" was to see the
The face of a turkey put on by Doña Clotilde. and we understood
better to see that the Chilindrina began to cry of sadness
remembering the good times. "That woman always told us
had been very good to us; it was enough that
someone said waters, here comes the Witch of 71 so that at the
instantly make those gestures of courage that so much
they amused. And now, suddenly, the very ungrateful one takes away those
sweet moments of happiness that we had enjoyed so much. "
Then Chilindrina made us still worry
more, because he told us that the same could happen if Doña
Florinda won't get mad when we call her "Old Chancluda."
But the good thing was that this comment was heard Doña

27
Page 28

Hell they will accept "bites"; although Ron Damon told me that
I will not worry about that, because if a judge accepts them, with greater
reason accepts them the Devil. Because no way that it turns out
that the Devil is an innocent little angel.

Ron Damón says that he would not be afraid to go to Hell


when he dies, because he is sure they would not throw him more
two or three years' sentence. and even less if instead of
locked in the big one they will send him to the Eastern Purgatory, for
example. Or North Purgatory, let's say.
I asked him how could he be so sure of that, and
Ron Damón told me that it was all a matter of having some
"levers". (So he said.) And he, for example, had been a very good friend
of father José (who passed away last year) and that surely
he must be very well standing there in the other world.
But the truth is that Ron Damón did not seem to be
very confident that we say, well then he told me that if he got
to fail the lever of father José, he would have no other choice
more than taking a "bite". And this would be much more difficult to
get, because Ron Damón has never had anything to do with
dead. But apart from everything I had the doubt that in the

28

Page 29

In each classroom of the school they chose a child to


to do the collection for the Red Cross. And in my living room I
they chose me.
They gave me a white painted boat, which has a
red cross. At the top it has two holes that
they serve for people to throw money out there. One is like this:
like elongated, and the other is round. (The funny thing is that the
elongated hole is for the coins, which are round, and the
round for bills, which are elongated.)
But it turns out that asking for money from
people. La Chilindrina, for example, said that she had already given.
I asked her when, and she replied that the year
last. So I told him that it was necessary to collaborate all
the years, since every year there are run over, accidents of
traffic and all that; but the Chilindrina told me that she is to blame
I had. Finally, without much enthusiasm, he accepted
toss a coin.

THE CHLINDRINA

29

Page 30

I couldn't see what it was like, but she told me that


draw that kind of blood, and the Chilindrina told him "from your
it had been five pesos. Yet to me it sounded like
noses. "And Chilindrina herself helped him by giving him a blow.
if it had been 50 cents.
The bad thing was that Popis could not collaborate by donating th
But the Chilindrina at least put something, unlike the
blood, because the very messenger ran to her house,
Popis who did not put anything. And above all, he even wanted to make a saying that
he was going to accuse La Chilindrina with his aunt Florinda
joke, because when I asked her if she had already put, the
Then Ñoño arrived, who did collaborate with a
Popis told me not to be a chicken. I clarified that I know
twenty pesos for the Red Cross. I know the amount
I was trying to put money in, but Popis told me I didn't even have
because I saw the bill with my own eyes. Also, the same Ñoño
five cents. Then Chilindrina told him that some
He clearly told us that he was collaborating with twenty pesos, knowing
people instead of giving money give blood, which is useful because
that it might ever happen that he had an accident and
in accidents there are many people who lose blood. To this the
that they had to take him to the Red Cross. The bad thing is that in that
Popis said that if people lose things, it is because they do not notice
In case the twenty pesos would be useless, because if Ñoño
where they leave them; but Chilindrina explained that what happens is
suffered an accident, at least two stretchers would be needed
that people's blood sparks from the wounds they suffer
to lift it. And to take it away, they might even need
in accidents, and then they are taken to the hospital de la Cruz
two ambulances! And then to re-fill with blood! Neither
Red, where they are refilled with blood. La Popis told him
with a water tank!
that he had already understood; and that he could not give money, but that he did I
was thinking about all that when Quico came out of
it could give blood. But the truth is that the very mes there was no
his house, followed by Popis. The two were very determined,
understood nothing, because then he said that we had to wait for
because Popis had gone with the gossip that Chilindrina
they will kill the hen; and when I asked him which hen,
he had punched himself in the nose. And I even thought that
she replied that she was talking about a hen that had
Quico was going to hit Chilindrina, but no. It hit me.
bought her aunt Florinda last week. So the very
Ñoño helped me up, but when I looked for
Messi was thinking that he could collaborate with the blood of
Quico, the very coward had already hit the race. So, the
hen, without taking into account that human beings only
Chilindrina realized that I was very angry, and I
it is worth filling them with the blood of other human beings.
He said to calm me down Then, as if wanting to change the
Then Popis asked her from where. could
conversation, he asked me if I had already given something to the

30

Page 31

Red Cross. I replied that I had not given him anything, but that
I was thinking of sending him something. La Chilindrina asked me what
I was thinking of sending the Red Cross, and I replied: "A
wounded. "And I waited for Quico to return.

Before there was not as much population as now, because


then there were just Adam and Eve.
Or rather, there was just Adam, who was the first
man. What happened was that one day he fell asleep, and
when he woke up a rib had already been removed. And then to the
rib began to grow hands, legs, head and everything
others (minus the whistle) until Miss Eva was completed.
Adam and Eve lived in a very beautiful place called
Paradise, which was one like a forest full of flowers, with birds,
deer and lions. (But the lions were trained.)
Eating apples was forbidden in Paradise. But
once a viper called Serpent came, and advised him to
Adam and Eve to eat several apples. So it was
a viper that had already learned to speak. Because before
Vipers were so different that they even had hands. (This is
He knows why the viper tempted Eve, and if he had not had hands,
How could he tempt her?) But Eve did not tell Adam that the viper
had tempted her, because gentlemen get very angry when
someone is tempting his wife.

31

Page 32

Anyway Adam and Eve were punished for


disobedient. And that is why they were driven from Paradise. The one who
ran was an angel who had a sword like the ones they used
in Star Wars.
But on top of that they still received other punishments. For
example: Adam had to eat bread smeared with sweat
that dripped from his forehead. and they put Eva as punishment
that it would hurt a lot when she had children.
But since they had nothing else to do, they began to
have children.
The eldest of the sons was baptized with the name of
Cain, and the second with the name of Abel.
Abel was a very obedient and very good boy. Cain in
Instead, he always caused mortifications to his mother. The first
mortification was when Eve fed him, for Cain had
jawbone of a donkey, like Quico. And it is not the same to breastfeed
an ordinary baby than one that sucks with the jaw of
donkey.
But the worst mortification Eve received was when the
The boys were already older, as it turns out that one day
Cain got very angry with his brother and struck him with the jawbone.
But the blow was so strong that Abel fell to the ground, and when he
realized, he was already dead.
Later, Adam and Eve also died.

In this life there are things that are expensive because they cost
a lot of money, and others that cost very little and are therefore
cheap.
I, for example, am a cheap kid.
That's why Chilindrina looks at me with a lot
It's a pity and he says to me: "Poor Chavito! Aren't you sorry to know tha
Are you?"
But what can I do?
Because many times we have asked ourselves what
we'd like to be when we grow up, and I've never known
answer nothing.
The rest do: Chilindrina would like to become
president; Popis wants to be a television actress; Ñoño wants
become the owner of many restaurants; Godínez wants to be
footballer, and Quico wants to be like his mother. So Quico
He's more of an idiot than we thought, because you have to be an idiot
to want to look like that old chancluda who just gave her
He goes around scolding everyone. Also, when people
32

Page 33

makes great, men should look like men and women


they must look like women. So Quico is going to be one of those who know
they put earrings in their ears.
But then Quico clarified that no, that's not
truth. And he also told us: "I just want to look like
my mom about having a child like me. "
People say that in this city you can't breathe anymore
good because the air is very spicy. *
But Professor Girafales says that instead, people
does not worry much about something else that is worse every day,
as is the noise.
The noise is used for one to hear it.
But the downside is that it can also be used to
the hearing of many people is spoiled, as happens in the
discos. And it's not that listening to music is bad; it's bad
listen to it when it's at full volume. That is: what it does
damage is volume. And that's why Ñoño always walks
sick: by the volume it has.
In addition to nightclubs, which also does
a lot of damage is the noise that motorcycles make. About
all when you get run over.
* It is clear that Chavo meant that the air is "polluted." This
means that he has not been able to hear the word well, which, in turn, confirms
everything he says
in this page.

33

Page 34

There is a new girl at school named Pati, but


of affection they call her Patricia Jiménez.
Pati sits at the desk behind mine, but the

I was playing ball jumping, when Quico came out


from his house eating a banana. And a moment later I
asked: "Do you want?" And I was going to answer yes, because
Professor Girafales insists that I should look at the blackboard instead
to look at Pati.
The good thing is that during recess I can spend it
all the time looking at Pati.
When she runs, her hair is done like this: very pretty.
Sometimes Pati stares at me. And then I no longer
I can still see her, well who knows why, but
when she sees me I feel something like I don't know.
And when he laughs I feel the same, but much more.

I was craving that banana a lot, but I remembered that


he always does the same thing to me: first he asks me "Do you want to?"
when I say yes, he says "Well buy." So you
I said no, I didn't want to, and explained why. Then
Quico told me: "Well, what a pity, because this time I was thinking
give you half of the banana. "I was so pleased that I said:
"Yes, I want". And then he told me: "Well buy."
The worst thing of all was that I did not see where he threw the sh
plantain. So I slipped when I stepped on the shell, and I went to
I usually.
And Quico, instead of worrying, he let go laughing like
mocking me. Then I cracked two strokes on his
skinny sow cheeks, and instantly she began to cry
leaning on the wall.
The bad thing is that Quico cries as if he were doing
gargle with tap water. And he does it with so much noise, that

3. 4

Page 35

hears the whole neighborhood. That's why Ron Damón even came out of his
home to find out what was going on. Then I was going to start
explain, when Doña Florinda came from the street and asked
his son, what was wrong with him, and Quico replied: "He hit me." But
Since he did not clarify who it was that hit him, Doña Florinda thought
that it had been Ron Damón. And as always, Ron Damón was the one
who came out paying the duck.
Then Doña Florinda said to Quico: "Come, my dear;
This morning, during recess, Pati came from behind
get together with this mob. "Then Quico said to Ron Damón:
of me, he covered my eyes with his hands and said: "Guess who
"You mob, you mob!" Then Quico and his mother got into
I am. "And I knew it was Pati because she is the only one who has a
his house.
voice that feels nice when you hear it. But I couldn't tell him
But it gave Ron Damon so much courage that he whipped his
nothing because I started to feel like tickles.
hat against the ground. And then it gave him more courage, because his
Then the Chilindrina also came from behind me, I
hat fell into dog poop.
She covered her eyes with her hands and said, "Guess who I am."
I realized that Ron Damon was so angry,
As if I weren't going to recognize the very little girl!
that for sure he wanted to take it out on me, but I got alive and
Then Chilindrina took some candy from Pati and
I hit the race.
Pati stayed crying. And I also felt like I wanted to
The bad thing was that at that moment I was reaching the
cry, but I held on.
neighborhood Mr. Barriga and I went to butt against his belly
Better I went and took the sweets from the Chilindrina and
and I threw it to the ground. Then Mr. Barriga said: "It had to be
I returned Pati. Then it was Chilindrina who began to cry.
El Chavo del Ocho! "and I replied that" It was accidentally
It gives me a lot of courage to hear the Chilindrina cry,
wanting. "But he replied that the same thing always happened: that
because she always cries as if they were killing her; and with those
I always greeted him with a bang when he came to the
screams one even becomes deaf.
neighborhood, and he always said "It was accidentally wanting."
So I told him that we were at hand, because he repeated
also always the same: "It had to be Chavo del Ocho!"

35
Page 36

What a difference with Pati, who when she cries she just makes a
little noise like this: very quietly; and his eyes turn like this: like
wet, and they even shine more!
Finally, I also cried. (Because the Chilindrina
He stoned the head.)

If I ever won the lottery, the first thing that


would like to do would be to invite me to lunch.
Because in this life the most important thing is to eat.
Because if you don't eat, you die.
And if you die, what time do you eat?
Y
If you are not going to eat, why are you dying? That's why it is
better to eat than die.
Incidentally, Professor Girafales says that the intestine of
people are about twenty feet long, but it has
eaten so little food that I must have at least two
or three meters of intestine brand new.
And I'm not really sure, but I think the last time
I chewed on a piece of meat that's when I bit my tongue.
Once I got so sick they took me to a hospital
very nice, where the nurses were called nuns; and they were
so good that they fed me three times a day. But what
It was bad that I was only sick for four days and then I

36

Page 37

relieved. Now I'm hoping that again I will put it back


bad, so that again I can eat three times a day.

Yesterday was Pati's birthday. I did not know. But what


I knew when Ñoño arrived and gave him a gift. Then Pati gave him
a kiss to Ñoño.
One of these days I'm going to catch Ñoño and I'm going to break
everything called expensive.
37

Page 38

NO NO

Of all the stories the Professor has told us


Giraffes, one of the most beautiful is that of a man who
called Noah, who made boats and gathered animals.
One day God told Noah that he was close to
Deluge, which is like a downpour, but thicker. Then
Noah asked him what he should do, and God recommended
to build a huge ship to fit all the
animals. And also the elephant.
But the only ones who helped Noah were his sons (who
there were three) and the wives of their children. Instead all
other people in the town did not help or anything, and they just
They passed by mocking Noah and thinking that the poor boy was
mad. and Noah answered them that they were crazy and that later
They weren't going to complain when they were drowning.
However, more than the ridicule of the people, what
worried Noah was that he had to put pairs of
animals, because they had to be male and female, and many times
it is not so easy to distinguish which is the male and which is the female.

38

Page 39

Of course there are some who do differ very


easily (donkeys, for example), but there are others that I do not know

and other things like that. So it was useless to send the


bird.
how Noah did to distinguish them, as is the case with the
But Noah was still so drunk that he didn't even
birds, fish, snakes, worms, etc., etc., etc.
he felt ashamed when his son made fun of him. Instead of
But be that as it may, Noah managed to bring all the couples togetherthat gave him
to curse his son's children. So it happened to
of animals and asked them to enter the ship which, by the way, was
scrub the grandchildren, who were not to blame.
called Ark.
The next day Noah said that he was not fool enough to
But they entered just in time, because after a while the Deluge
expect the bird to speak in Spanish, but instead commanded it
it rained; and since they had not yet invented the
to see if it returned dry or wet; because if it returned
sewers, the streets began to flood with water. And then
wet meant it was still raining. And the same the other way around.
It continued to rain so thickly, that after a while you could no longer see the
ground The
or bad thing was that the bird did not return dry or wet.
the houses or anything. The only thing that could be seen was the barcote, inSo
thethey were still in the same. And Noah couldn't command
which were Noah, his family and the other animals.
another bird because they could run out. (Since I was just wearing
Noah thought that others were going to die of envy,
two of each.) Until finally someone came up with
but it was not like that; they died of drowning.
leaning out and saw that the Deluge was no longer raining. Then
The trouble was that one day, not having much to do,
they all got off the ship and began to have children to replenish
Noah came up with inventing wine. And of course: he got drunk.
to all the people who had drowned.
But he was so drunk he couldn't even
Some of the kids came out white, some came out
get up to look to see if it had stopped raining. For the
Blacks, and others came out Chinese.
So what he did was grab a bird, which he ordered to
But the most interesting thing about Noah was the number of yea
go out to see if it was still raining. Then one of his
who came to live. (I don't remember very well, but I think they were
children began to mock Noah, telling him that birds do not
more than 900.) In other words, he became even older than Jaimito the
they knew how to talk, unless they were parrots. But not parrots
Postman. And many people wonder how is it possible that
They can tell whether it is raining or not; the only thing they can say is
a person can live that long; but what happens is that
things like "Daca la pata, parrot", "Fuck off, fart girl"
at that time there were no doctors or hospitals or anything like that.

39

Page 40

They were used for two things: to see when she is awake and to
close them when you are sleepy. But the Chilindrina told him that
They will also serve to cry when she breaks everything
to be called face. (Which I am not going to allow.)
Also: Professor Girafales drew attention to the
Chilindrina for being a fighter; but she said she gave
courage that they answered nonsense. So I told him that Pati
he never answered nonsense. And this made the
Chilindrina, who told me: "You better shut up, Chavo." Y
Yesterday Professor Jirafales ordered us to copy a
then he added: "Do you know what your eyes are for?" And I will
phrase found in the Natural Sciences book. And it is this: "The
I answered that my eyes help me to look at Pati Then
Being Human uses the senses to come into contact with
Chilindrina kicked me in the shin and said: "Well!
the world around him. "
no! Your eyes only serve to have mischief and
And this morning the teacher asked if we knew
chinguiñas ".
what are the senses. Then the Popis said that the senses
They are the sangrones that you do something to them and then they don't love you
Professor
anymore Jirafales had to calm the Chilindrina,
which cost him a lot of work. And then when it seemed like
talk or anything and they even withdraw your greeting.
had calmed down, the teacher asked her if she knew to
But the professor told him that he was talking about another
what served her ears, and Chilindrina replied that they served her
kind of senses, which are what the book says. And these senses
"to listen to the bullshit that Chavo was saying."
There are five: sight, hearing, smell (that is, the thing to smell), the
This made the teacher very angry, because
taste and touch. (That is: when you feel something.)
He has always told us that he does not like rudeness. (But
Then the teacher asked Pati why
Well, he said them one day when he started arguing with Ron Damón.)
her eyes served her, and I went ahead to answer that Pati
And Chilindrina told her that she didn't like them either
the eyes serve to look pretty.
those
words
and that the proof is that he only says them
Then Chilindrina gave me a pinch that left me
when
she
is
very
angry. (That is: the same thing that happened to
burning arm. And the teacher told me that the question was
professor when arguing with Ron Damon.)
he had made Pati. Then Pati replied that her eyes
40

Page 41

Then Chilindrina calmed down and the teacher continued


with the Natural Sciences lesson.
He told us that the sense used to perceive smells
is called smell, and that there is also an organ that is responsible for
that. Then he asked if we knew where that organ is, and
Godínez replied that 'the organ is in the
behind the church. But the professor told him that he was
talking about the nose. (Although he did not clear from whose nose.)
Then the teacher asked me if I knew what
it is taste, and I answered yes: that taste is what it feels like
when Pati arrives. Then I felt another kick to the shin that
he gave me the Chilindrina. (When it seemed that
calmed down. In other words, Ron Damón rightly says that it is impossible
understand women).
The teacher clarified that when talking about taste he was
referring to something that is felt in the mouth. So I said that
the best that could be felt in the mouth would be a kiss from Pati.
But I couldn't know if he had answered correctly, because instantly the
Chilindrina kicked me in the shin again, apart from giving me a
rump on the head and a pinch on the neck.
The good thing was that the professor was quick to stop the
Chilindrina. But when he released her, she began to say:
they already have me bored! That the eyes to look at Pati! That he
heard to listen to Pati! And so is smell and taste! "And
then, as if remembering something that frightened her, she finished
saying, "And touch is still missing!" And ran out of the room

of classes. Then Professor Jirafales told us not to


Let us worry; that he would go back in. And he continued with the lesson
explaining that all the senses are important. Said,
for example, it is very unfortunate that there are people who lose
the view. And Godínez said that then they work as referees of
soccer. Then he spoke of those who lose their hearing, and Ñoño said tha
these are dedicated to being singers of "roncanrol". Then he said
that it was also unfortunate that someone lost their sense of smell, but
Pati said no, that was good, because those who lose the
smell does not suffer when they enter the bathroom in a movie theater.
Finally the teacher spoke of touch and asked what
how could we find out, for example, whether a thing was smooth or
wrinkled. And Popis replied: "Depending on whether you are my age or
you".
The teacher said that he better put another example and asked
that how we could find out if an object had thorns. And I will
I replied that we carefully observe the object, and if it was
chayote, it sure had thorns.
By then the teacher seemed desperate,
because he even shouted saying to me: "What use are you
hands? "And I answered that I wish they would help me make a
darling to Pati: but I had barely finished answering when I gave
account that the Chilindrina had just returned. and I know
He approached saying: "I'm going to say what use are the
hands. "And they served him to give me a beating that not even when I
I split it with Godínez.

41
Page 42

Professor Girafales ordered us to carry a


I work on malnutrition, but I didn't have the slightest

Today a sign appeared in the neighborhood that reads: " In this

becindá they are probido / os animals . " So I copied it as


idea
hat totowrite.
the Chilindrina
toldthat
me that
I did of
notwhave
writeThen
anything,
it was enough
I carried
a photograph of me

as it was written, but Professor Jirafales already told us that


that sign has a lot of misspellings on it. What happened
it was that Ron Damón wrote it, which is very gross.
But the idea was not Ron Damón's, it was Doña's
Florindaj just that she paid Ron Damón to
write the sign, because Doña Florinda is the one who does not
they like animals. (With the exception of Quico.)
Doña Clotilde (that is, the Witch of 71) got very angry
when he saw that sign, but Jaimito the Postman told him not to know
worried that as long as she paid her rent on time, no one would
he could forbid her to live here. Then Doña Clotilde got angry
also with Jaimito, and told him that she was not an animal.
Jaimito asked him why then did he get angry at the
see the sign, and Doña Clotilde replied that because she had a
puppy.

42

Page 43

By the way, Doña Clotilde's puppy is very pretty,


but very delicate. (Because he is of a very fine breed.) That is why he
they feed better than me; because I am not of a fine race,
but rather ordinary.
Doña Clotilde is very affectionate with her puppy and takes care of him
as if it were his son. And the Chilindrina says that this is due to
that Doña Clotilde is a spinster; because she says that at
spinsters almost never give them up to have children. And that's why instead of
children have dogs.
Pati no longer goes to school.
But women get very fat when they go to have a
I think his family went to live somewhere else and charged
son, and I do not remember that Doña Clotilde had gained weight
with her. But I don't know where that other place is.
when he was going to have the dog. So it is not the same.
Where will Pati be?
Later it was learned that Doña Florinda had that
What will it be doing?
sign because he got very angry when Doña's little dog
Now there is another girl who sits on the same bench
Clotilde went into her house and shitted on the carpet in her house.
where Pati used to sit But what a difference!
But it was of no use to him, because after he had put that
Also: it does not seem right to me that someone comes and
sign, the puppy went back to his house and shit again
take Pati's place. That's why I removed it from there.
on the living room carpet. And it is that Doña Florinda forgot
Later I learned that it was Professor Girafales who put the
that dogs cannot read.
another girl in that place. But to put that, it had better not
put nothing.

43

Page 44
But it was not easy to discover America, because for this there w
a very big problem: that nobody knew where he was. Without
Yet when they least expected it, a sailor began
to shout: "Earth in sight!", then they all leaned out and
they realized it was America.
There were many Indians there who were very astonished
when they saw that the discoverers already knew how to ride a horse.
Because the Indians did not know horses and thought they were
This morning, at school, Professor Jirafales
half man and half animal. (The animal half was the bottom one.)
He told us the story of Christopher Columbus, which is very interesting.
But then the discoverers had to dismount to
Christopher Columbus was a discoverer who once went to see
be able to go to the bathroom, and then the Indians realized that
to the Queen of Spain and told her that he really wanted to go to
discover America. The queen said she thought it was a good idea and that they were
people like them, but with beards. And they said "less
evil".
what did I expect to do it. Then Columbus told him that he had no
Very soon the discoverers realized that
enough money for tickets, but the queen said to him:
there were many Indians who lived in the pyramids.
worry; I get ".
The queen whose name was Elizabeth and her last name was The Catholic And there
were others who died in the pyramids.
Those who died in the pyramids was because they
he went straight to sell some very valuable jewels that she
they
ripped
out the heart with a like knife. They said that
had, and thus got enough money to buy three ships
they
were
human
sacrifices; but I think they were not human
with their respective sailors, and gave them to Columbus.
quite
the
opposite:
very inhuman.
Shortly after, Christopher Columbus went out very happy to
Then there were some who even ate the
discover America. He was on the main ship, which was called
dead. Until the discoverers told them it's not
"the Holy Marina". The other two were called "La Tinta" and "La
allowed to eat meat, of people. And less in Lent.
Pineapple. "And they must not have been very good boats, because
Then Christopher Columbus returned to Spain and the queen
when speaking of them Columbus did not say that they were ships; he said that
he
asked,
"How did it go?" And he replied, "Well, even that."
they were skulls. But the truth is that if they give you something I don't know
it is worth asking yourself.

44

Page 45
But Christopher Columbus was so glad he had
discovered America, which made him want to come and discover it
again.
In total he discovered it four times. and so on, until I know
he died.

What is Pati doing?


Four. F

Page 46

Florinda said that to her too. So after a while


we were watching the game.
And thanks to this I was able to learn many things about
of football. For example: to be a good footballer first
What is needed is to throw a lot of kicks, because that way it may be that
you even hit the ball sometime. Then you have to approach the
opposite and pull him from the shirt, pants, arms
or the hairs. Then you have to drop down so that the referee
mark pénalti.
Last night Quico invited us to watch a soccer game in the
I also learned that some players kick the ball better.
TV from her house, but after a while Doña Florinda arrived and said that the
ball
with
the right leg and others with the left. Others the
soccer was a show that was only good for the mob.
they kick better with the head. In addition to the footballers, in the
And he added that what she liked were the
field there are also referees and flag bearers.
TV soaps. So he changed the channel and put on a soap opera.
The referees are there to expel the players from the field.
And the worst of all was that not even Quico himself protested, because the
players
protesting something. And the standard bearers are for
very miserable he began to calmly watch the soap opera, in
raise
your
flag every time someone is about to put
company of his mother and Popis.
a goal.
But then when I was about to leave
Those in the audience have a lot of fun throwing onto the field
Hence, Professor Jirafales is arriving at full speed,
all kinds of objects, such as rockets, bottles, oranges
saying: "Soon, Doña Florinda, put the channel where the
sucks, toilet paper rolls, etc., etc., etc. Some want
soccer. "This made Doña Florinda look like a candle
for one team to win and others want the other team to win.
melted. and asked: "Put what?" The channel where it is
But when the opponent scores a goal, the one who scored it was in
football said the teacher; don't you see that today is the final of the
out of place.
championship?
Those who spend their time talking during the game
Then Doña Florinda asked the teacher if he
they call commenters. But there are also others called
he liked soccer, and the teacher said he loved it. And doña
chroniclers. And another called Fernando. And all of them, according to

46

Page 47

says Professor Jirafales, they also compete with each other. They on it
that compete is in destroying the language, as the
Professor
Jirafales, who
spent
thereceived;
whole game
saying:
"What
a barbarian!
It is not
said
it is said
received." And then,
"Reject is not said; rejection is said." Etc., etc., etc.
But anyway football is very beautiful.

Yesterday, when we entered the classroom, I killed a


stomp spider. The bad thing was that the spider was in the
Professor Girafales' shoe, who got very angry and
scolding. In other words, he did wrong, because instead of scolding me h
to have thanked me, since I saved his life by preventing
the spider will bite him. He later said that the spider was not poisonous
and that therefore there was no danger, but no way that one would
ask spiders whether or not they are poisonous.
The best thing is to stomp them and then you find out.
Then the teacher asked us: "Do you know what
What would happen if we killed all the insects in the
world? "And Ñoño replied:" What would happen is that
we would miss Chilindrina very much. "
That made us all laugh a lot, except Chilindrina, the
which became very serious and said to Ñoño: "Well, look at me
I'd rather be an insect than an elephant. "And then they started
I know how to fight, but since my place in the class is between Ñoño and
Chilindrina, I received most of the blows.

47

Page 48

The good thing was that Professor Girafales separated


quickly to the two fighters. And then explained that if
we will kill all the insects in the world, which
would happen is that many bad things would happen. For example: se
many plants that need insects would end up
carry pollen from one flower to another. (Pollen is one like dust
who use flowers to have children.)
So I said it would be impossible for us to
kill all the insects, because leagues away you can see that there are
many more insects than people. So it would be enough that
They will throw us a lot to finish us off.
The teacher said that I was right, but that of all
Ways there are other animals that are already running out.
Then the Popis said that if they are running out it is
because they've been exercising too much; but the
teacher explained that "run out" also means "run out"
or "go extinct." And as an example he said that there is a bird that is
Flame Bird of Fire that is already on the verge of extinction.
Then the teacher asked us:
"Do you know who is making it go extinct?"
And Godínez answered: "If the bird is made of fire, those who have it
that extinguish are the firemen ".
But the professor said that it is the Man who is
killing not only those birds, but also many
Other animals.

However, he recognized that there are also animals that


they harm humanity. And then Quico said that there
fleas were an example, which in addition to disturbing the
people also tease dogs. So not only
They harm Humanity, but also Perreridad.
Then Popis remembered that she was injured by a horse,
because he threw her to the ground when she was riding him. But
Then she realized that it was her own fault,
because the very fool turned to the right when the horse
he was turning left. In other words: what happens is that the
Popis can't ride a horse. Well I don't know how to ride either
but I imagine that it should not be so difficult; that everything is
a matter of knowing how to keep your balance and hold on very well to
the reins. Then Chilindrina said that I was right.
"But there is something very important, he added: between you and the h
horse is the only one that must grab the reins with its muzzle. "
Later Ñoño commented that his father had also been
harmed a horse. But the Chilindrina said that surely
It had been the other way around: that Mr. Barriga had harmed the
horse for having ridden it, because there is no horse that supports
so much weight on it. But Ñoño said that his dad never
he had ridden a horse. So we ask him if
some horse had kicked his papa, and Ñoño replied that
no, that neither; that he was talking about a horse that
he hurt his dad by coming last in the
racecourse.
48

Page 49

Then they asked me and I replied that the


animals that hurt the most are dogs when they get angry
and cats when they scratch.
Finally, the Chilindrina said that the animal that is most
harming humanity is the stork.

Yesterday afternoon Doña Clotilde gave him some empanadas


to Ron Damón.
But the Chilindrina said that those empanadas could have
some witchcraft to bewitch his papa, because Ron Damon
has never wanted to marry Doña Clotilde, which is what she
more wants in life. Then Chilindrina told me that I know
he had to sacrifice trying the empanadas before his dad. OR
is that he ate an empanada. So I told him that I
I also wanted to sacrifice a little bit. So me too
I ate an empanada. And then we both follow
sacrificing ourselves
Until we finish the empanadas
It really is nice to sacrifice for others!
The bad thing was that Ron Damón arrived when I was
sacrificing with the last patty, and got very mad
with me. With the Chilindrina he could not get angry because she no lon
I was there. And it is that she had seen through the window that
his father approached, and he remembered that he had something very im
do.

49

Page 50

So the Chilindrina could not help me explain to


his dad that we had sacrificed ourselves for him; and like Ron
Damon is very rough, he didn't understand anything. And he even gave me a
bump on the head.
THE POPIS

fifty

Page 51

And another day the teacher was telling that Mexico lost
half of its territory, and Popis said: "For not noticing where
they leave things ",

Professor Jirafales punished me because I said that Quico is


An idiot. Yeso was not fair, because the teacher himself tells us
every now and then we must always tell the truth.
Well, maybe I was wrong, but just a little bit,
because I said that Quico was an idiot from birth, and
Chilindrina says no; that Quico is not an idiot from birth,
but by majority vote.
The vote was done at school by all the children of the
room, and it turned out that the only vote against was the same
Quico. So with that he proved to be more of an idiot than
we thought, because only idiots don't realize
they are idiots.
To say that even Popis herself had voted for
favor! Plaster that Popis is Quico's cousin. And it shows!
For example: one day Professor Jirafales was talking
of the four cardinal points, and Popis said that the cardinal
they are like bishops, but with another hat.

51

Page 52
Professor Jirafales says that the school is the source of the
know, and that children go there to drink from that source. But
Chilindrina says that Popis has never drunk a drop of
water from that source of knowledge, which has not passed
gargle.
What happens is that, according to Chilindrina, Popis is the
Most messed-up person who's ever been to that school. But I think
that Quico beats him.
Well, it also happens that Popis and
Quico are cousins. In other words, the bad thing runs in the family.
and Ñoño says that what happens with Popis and Quico is that
neither of them has released their brains. But I think that
that's good, because things that don't work are better not
use them.

Some say that a thief lives in the neighborhood, well


Lately many things have disappeared that I already know
stole. Although it could also be that things had
disappeared by magic of the Witch of 71; but I already asked him and
she told me not. By the way, the Witch of 71 got angry
a lot with me for asking him that question, because he said
which was like saying a witch to her. But that's not true,
Well, I don't even dare to think that Miss Clotilde
be a witch. Because it is not going to be that I guess the
thought and become a toad.
So there must be a thief in the neighborhood. Which it's
it is badly done, because no one should steal other people's things
that belong to others.
Some think that the thief may be Ron Damon.
But I don't think so, because the other day the iron was stolen
by Doña Florinda, and Ron Damón has never been so brave.
Because Ron Damón knows that Doña Florinda can break him

52

Page 53

everything called expensive; like once you gave it as a half


slapping time and told him that the next time it would be worse.
Jaimito the Postman cannot be able to steal either,
for he prefers to avoid fatigue.
And some said that the thief was me, but it is not true.
I fell. I just stole some things to eat.
Like once I stole a slice of cake that he left
Doña Clotilde at the window of her house. But it was unintentional
wanting, because I didn't want to steal that slice of
cake; I just wanted to taste it. And then I tried another
a little.
And then I tried the rest.

~____
G I'
RON DAMÓN

53

Page 54

understand very well, but later, when we are adults,


we will find them even in the soup.

Mr. Barriga continues to think that Ron Damón is the


thief of the neighborhood, since he still does not pay the rent to him.
But the Chilindrina told him that they are two very
different, because thieves hide and disguise themselves, while
that Ron Damón always walks with his face uncovered. Me too
I supported the Chilindrina, because I told them that, having the face that
has Ron Damón, you have to be brave to bring it
discovered.
Chilindrina did not like what I said, and even assured
that it was no use to support his dad.
Later Chilindrina herself said that she was
speaking of those who cover their faces with handkerchiefs or whatever
be. That they cannot be trusted.
In that yes, Mr. Barriga agreed; but we
He said that there are also many others who are dressed in
suit and tie, and who steal the most.
And he explained to us that these suit and tie thieves are
Sometimes they disguise things that children cannot yet

54

Page 55
Everybody keeps talking about the thief who must be in
the neighborhood. And I said that I would like to be the Chapulín Colorado
to be able to grab, but Quico said that I was not good for that.
So I said yes, and that I even had a plan
to catch the thief, which consisted of leaving something in sight
around the world and we spy to find out who he is
who gets to steal.
Quico liked this idea very much, as he said it would be
like playing cops and robbers, but really. And so
we agreed that that was what we should do.
Hopefully it will give good results.

Last night we did what we had planned: Quico took out


the blender that his mother uses to cook and the
we place in the middle of the patio. Then we hid and we
We started spying to see who it was that arrived and they
stole.
Soon after, Ron Damón arrived, who stumbled upon the
blender and whipped like old monkey. Then got up
angry and kicked the blender. But I am
I'm sure it hurt him more than the blender, because it went
limping home. (And throwing a lot of mentions.)
But he didn't steal the blender. In other words, it continues
proving that Ron Damon is not the thief in the neighborhood.
The bad thing was that, with the kick, the blender went to give a
corner where it was not easy for passersby to see it
Over there.
However, after a while, Quico and I saw
that a guy who does not live in the neighborhood entered through the gat
which walked like becoming an asshole. And I was ready

55

Page 56

to go out the gate again, when he discovered the


blender. Then he grabbed it and ran off at top speed.
So this guy is most likely the thief.
But, just as I suspected, he doesn't live in the neighborhood.

Today in the morning we saw that Doña Florinda was very


worried, saying that the burglar had broken into her house and
that he had stolen the blender he just bought.
And only Quico and I know that the thief does not know
broke into her house, but instead stole the blender from the yard. Withou
However, we did not want to say anything until we were quite sure.
So in the evening we did the same as the day
above, just this time what we put on the patio was a
electric coffee maker that Quico also took out of his house. But
The result was the same, because the same guy came back in and stole
coffeemaker.
So it is already a lot of coincidence, right?
56

Page 57

Doña Florinda still does not know the truth, because today in the
Last night I was waiting and waiting and nothing that Quico cam
Tomorrow he commented that his electric coffee maker was stolen; but he continues
from home with the toaster. And I think then I stayed
believing that the thief broke into his house to steal it, and neither
slept.
he even suspects that the coffeepot was in the yard when the
But today at noon the Chilindrina told me that she was
thief stole it.
listening to a conversation between Doña Florinda and the Professor
But Quico and I had seen it clearly
Giraffes, where she said she was very sad because there were
when we were spying on him.
surprised Quico when he tried to steal the toaster
However, so that there is no doubt,
of bread that the professor had just given him.
We decided to repeat the test for the third time. and I'm just there
But worst of all was that, as Chilindrina heard,
waiting for Quico to leave his house with the toaster
Quico said that the whole idea had come from Chavo del Ocho. (That
that Professor Jirafales has just given to Doña Florinda. The
I am.
we will also leave in the middle of the patio to spy and see
Chancluda.
who is the one who steals it; but I'm sure it's going to be the same
Of all that, the only good thing was that Doña Florinda told
type.
in what way had he surprised Quico: by staying
wake up to spy and see who was stealing.
So you blatantly copied my plan.

57

Page 58

I really like listening to music. But nothing


more when the music is beautiful. That is: when you feel beautiful
heard. Instead there are songs that you just hear and give
desire to cover your ears.

a lot of blood. So I said to him: "Next time throw me at


your sister. "But Popis said:" No, Chavo; it crushes you. "
anyway the teacher had to part ways.
After a while the class continued, and Professor Jirafales said tha
in music not only are sounds important, but
silences are also very important. (Especially when
sings Quico!)
Later, when we went out to recess, Ñoño asked me to
returned his top. And I gave it back, but to the mere belly.
Professor Jirafales says there are three kinds of notes
musical: black, white and round. But i think i know
He was wrong, because in reality they are all round. What it is
different is that some have a stick and others do not. And also
the sticks are different, because sometimes they have some like
little flags.
He also said that white is worth twice as
black, but Chilindrina told him that they only think so
racists; that is, whites who don't get along with
blacks.
Then the teacher asked us if we knew which ones
They were the round ones, and I said that the round ones were the sisters
of Ñoño.
Everyone laughed a lot, except Ñoño, who
he threw a solid wooden top at my head and took me out

58

Page 59

The goring hurts a lot, it is very, because they take out


blood. Then they go and bury flags in the back of the
bull, which also hurts a lot. Because the bulls
they feel the same as people. They just can't talk in
Spanish and that's why they don't say anything. But it shows.
Then they grab another cape called a crutch, but
that does not resemble the ones some use to be able to walk. (OR
whether they are made of cloth.)
These crutches are used for the bullfighter to continue fighting for a whil
But before the picador already fitted his spear to the bull. And it i
it also hurts a lot.
I don't know if bulls have tears in their eyes like
all of us. And since I couldn't see them up close, I don't know if
They were crying, but they do so many things to them that I think
Yes. and later they even kill them.

Ron Damón invited me yesterday to see a bullfight in


his TV, but I like soccer more.
The bullfighters won the bullfight. Plaster that bulls
they were six and the bullfighters only three!
It is true that bulls have horns and bullfighters do not.
But instead the bullfighters have a sword and the bulls do not.
In addition: the bullfighters are helped by the picador, who is a
fat man on horseback with one as a spear. And also the
others who go and stick flags to the bulls when they
neglect.
The first thing bullfighters do is make the bulls dizzy
with a cape that is red on one side and not on the other. And how to
bulls don't like the color red, what they try to do is
cornar al cape. That is why the bullfighter must be very ready to
remove the cape before the bull horns it. But there are bulls
that they are smarter than the bullfighter, and they pretend they are going to
cornar
to the cape, but what they do is crown the bullfighter.

59

Page 60
This morning, during recess time, instead of
playing we were discussing things about the history of Mexico.
Ñoño said that priest Hidalgo cried out in pain because
her stomach ached; but Popis said no, the scream came from
the wife of priest Hidalgo, whose name was Dolores and affectionately
they called her Lolita. I thought that could not be true because
priests are forbidden to marry his wife. So, the
Chilindrina said that most do not marry, but that there are some
how many yes. What happens is that the cures that are
they get married they stop being priests and go to work in the military. To the
This is how many souls also send to Heaven.
Then Godínez entered the discussion and said that the priest
Hidalgo was married, but not with Lolita, but with Spain,
because Hidalgo is the Father of the Nation and Spain is the Mother
Homeland. In addition, Godínez showed us a page from the book of
Story where it says: "The priest Don Miguel Hidalgo arrived and
Rib. "So he came with his wife.

GODÍNEZ

60

Page 61

What we did know was that Hidalgo's closest friend was


called San Miguel Allende. And I also had a friend who was
called Corregidora Ortiz de Domínguez, who became very
famous because it was portrayed on the old five coins
pennies. By the way, Professor Girafales had scolded
the Chilindrina, because when he asked her what had been the
Doña Corregidora's greatest enemy, Chilindrina replied: "Your
hairdresser".
There was also another discussion in class when the
teacher asked what had been the biggest obstacle of the
Insurgents. I said the traffic lights and Popis said the
traffic cops. Godínez said the potholes, but the
Chilindrina said no, because the potholes are not in
Insurgentes but in the other streets. Then Ñoño said that, to
his dad, the Insurgents' biggest obstacle is that
it is forbidden to park the car there. And the others opined
other things, but when the conversation was more lively,
the professor said that he was not talking about Avenida Insurgentes,
but from the army where priest Hidalgo worked, and that his

the Spaniards, and then the Spaniards took him prisoner,


they put handcuffs on his hands and took him away.
But that happened when the war that
lasted eleven years. In other words, the triumph of the
Insurgents, because from the beginning they were left with a
less man.
The trouble was that after the war the Insurgents
started arguing with each other because they all wanted to be
presidents. But the most greedy were two called
Augustine and Turbide, who even wanted to be emperors. And in
punishment they were also shot. And since then nobody
wants to be emperor. In other words, everyone wants to be president.
The main obstacle had been that they were not well organized.
In other words: the same as the traffic lights and the police.
The priest Hidalgo liked to eat the most were the
meatballs with granaditas.
But the saddest thing of all was that the priest Hidalgo could not
see the end of the war because he had already been shot before. The
It was the fault of one who was a traitor, because he was on the wrong side with

61

Page 62

La Chilindrina got Jaimito to lend her his


iron. I asked her why she wanted her, if she never knows
put his clothes to iron, since this was always done by his
great-grandmother. But Chilindrina told me that she wanted the iron to
iron Serafina, which is the name of the Popis doll.
La Popis got very angry when he found out what he wanted
do the Chilindrina with her doll, but the Chilindrina told her
That was what they were doing lately all the
television actresses: ironing your face. And as an example we
showed a magazine where there were photos and where they talked about
many artists who had done that.
And the truth is that, from the photos, it was obvious that they had
the smoothest skin. I mean: not as wrinkled as they had it
before.
La Chilindrina said that they did that through a
operation, but it had been the same as ironing the
expensive.

Anyway, Popis was in doubt. and said that


would allow the Chilindrina to iron the face of her doll
Serafina, as long as she ironed it to her grandmother first
Doña Nieves. (Which has the skin more wrinkled than a
old turtle.) But Doña Nieves said she wasn't crazy.
Therefore, Popis still doubted that it could be
do that to improve the face of the people with operations of the
doctors; although in the photos of the magazine it was noted that
there were also many different noses. (but different from
that each one had had before, since the new ones were all
There were also eyelids that no longer looked like umbrellas
decomposed, and jowls that no longer looked like bad balls
inflated.
But Chilindrina told Popis that not only can
improve people's face, but also the body.
Then Popis said to him: "And what are you waiting for?
put the half meter of height that you need? "
The good thing was that Popis ducked when Chilindrina
he threw the iron at his head.

62

Page 63

So it made us laugh to think what Ron would look like


Damon if Quico passed him his skinny sow cheeks. Wave
Popis with the mustaches of Jaimito the Postman. Or me with the legs
of the Maistro Longaniza. Or the Chilindrina with Ñoño's buttocks.

Speaking of operations that change people,


I remembered that once Ñoño told us that he has cousins who
are twins (that is, they were born on the same day), which are
very similar. (Especially one of them, because the other not so much.)
What happened was that the other was born with kidneys that did not
they came out very good. (Before they had not realized why
kidneys are inside.) But then they remembered that their
twin brother was very similar, and therefore it could happen to him
one of your kidneys, since the kidneys are given in pairs for
person.
And they do it like that.
I, the truth, I did not imagine how it could be that a
person passes a part of their body to another. Because no way
that you say: "Ai I'll give you my nose; after a while I'll come for it." But Ñoño
told us that it was the doctors who were in charge of that, and
that you could also do the same with lungs, hearts,
liver, crop, nanita, nenepil, etc., etc., etc.

63

Page 64

This morning I sent Doña Clotilde an errand, and


in return she gave me a ham cake. But I was going to
eat, when Quico arrived and threw the cake at me with a slap,
telling me that this cake must have something wrong, since the
Dona Clotilde, who is a witch, had done.
But then I remembered something that I had once said
Ñoño: it was not yet fully verified that Doña
Clotilde was a witch. So I picked up the cake to
eat it. However, this made Quico despair, and
He threw the cake at me again with another slap. Therefore I wanted
grab Quico to break everything called a face, but no
I did it, because the most urgent thing was to lift the cake to
eat it.
The bad thing was that the Witch of 71 noticed and told me
that he should not lift the cake from the ground because he had already
kissed the devil. But I didn't see any devil out there; so
I picked up the cake to continue eating. And then it came back
Quico and he gave it to me again with another slap.

QUICO
64

Page 65

So I thought that it was best if I broke him first


face to Quico and then lift the cake.
But Quico ran off again, and incidentally gave him a
stomp to cake. So pray if I had no other choice
more than grabbing Quico and giving him a good madrassa in his
skinny sow cheeks.
But Jaimito the Postman told me that was committing a
act of revenge. And he also said that "revenge is never
good, it kills the soul and poisons it. "
And I think that Jaimito was right in what he said, but
I also think that he could have waited to tell me
after he had already ripped it off Quico.

At school they already explained to us what the difference is betw


a kingdom and a republic: in a kingdom the king is in command, and
in a republic the one who rules is the president.
For someone to be king, the one who chooses him is his father,
who is the king who was before. Instead, for someone to be
president, the one who chooses it is the president who was before.
Our country is not a kingdom, but a republic. That's why not here
it should be said, for example, that a tree belongs to the kingdom
vegetable and a stone to the mineral kingdom. What should be said is
that the tree belongs to the vegetable republic and the stone to the
mineral republic.
For the same reason, it should not be said that in a place
disorder reigned, but it republished disorder. And the lion
He is not the king of the jungle, but the president of the jungle. For the
Therefore, when praying we must say: "Our Father that
you are in Heaven, hallowed be your Name; come to us your
Republic ... and etc. "

65

Page 66

Before there was something that could be stolen: the bicycle of


Jaimito. But it's been like four weeks since Jaimito sold
his bicycle, because he needed money to buy medicine.
The bad thing is that it seems that the medicines have not
very good results to say.

Yesterday, all day, Jaimito the Postman did not leave his house
Not at all. La Chilindrina and I thought it could be
sick, because the same thing had happened again; that's why
We decided that the best thing was to go up to see him to ask him.
But the previous time it had cost us a lot of work
enter his house, because the door was locked from the inside with
a bolt. And Jaimito did not respond no matter how much we touched his
door and yelled at him.
But what happened that time was that poor Jaimito
He was so weak that he didn't even have the strength to pull the bolt of
the door.
So when he was finally relieved, Jaimito decided that he would
it was better if the door of his house had no lock. And had
reason, because the locks on the doors only serve to prevent
thieves may enter, but which thieves will want
enter a house where there is nothing to steal?

66

Page 67

Professor Jirafales told us that History began to


written thousands of years ago. In other words: as they have already had
long enough for them to have finished writing it, right?
Because, at that rate, they will never end.
Then he wrote something on the board and ordered us to
copied. And here is what I copied:

"We must study history without generating feelings of hatred;


without a spirit of revenge. Not to make things worse, but to
improve them. In a word: with Love. "
And since we didn't quite understand what he meant,
Then he explained to us that there are books and teachers who with their
history lessons what they do is teach us to hate the
neighbor. For example: to the Spanish for having conquered us;
to the gringos for having kept half of our
territory; to the French for having made us an emperor

that he was not from around here; etc., etc., etc. But that is very wrong. N
we should hate no one.
And less should we hate someone for what they did
bad your ancestors. For example: it is known that among
Spaniards who conquered us had everything: bad, regular
and good. The bad guys took all the gold and all the silver
could grab, they also mistreated the Indians, who
they had to flee by hiding in the virgin forest. (That by
True, the teacher explained to us that "virgin forest" is called
the one in which Man has not entered. That is: after
the Spaniards arrived, not even the jungle was left untouched.) But the
The good guys, on the other hand, defended the Indians and taught them
do useful things. The best were the missionaries, who,
In addition, they taught the Indians what they had to do to have
the clean soul. (The Indians, for their part, taught the
Spaniards what they had to do to have a clean body.)
But even if we took into account only the
bad, the Spaniards of now are no longer the same as
those who conquered us. Therefore we must not hate
someone because of what their ancestors did. I mean: it's as if
Quico will hate himself just because his parents do.
made ugly.
Then Professor Jirafales told us that neither
We must hate the Americans (who have been the
gringos) for having taken away half of our territory.
(Which, by the way, Ron Damón says they took the best

67

Page 68
part, that is, where there are better roads and all that.)
But the professor told him no, that Napoleon had not
the teacher says it was not only their fault, but it was also
been poor, and Chilindrina told him: "Well, I saw that he was already
because of many Mexicans who preferred to fight each other
with one hand on the back and the other on the front. "(This was said wit
instead of defending himself from those others. And that's not right,
who knows why.) And Professor Girafales replied that, in
because if they rob your house, it is more important
First of all, she was talking about Napoleon First (but
defend yourself from thieves rather than fight with your brothers.
wrote like this on the blackboard: Napoleon I), and he was talking about
And anyway, I think, those gringos
Napoleon the Third. (And he wrote like this: Napoleon IIII.) Then I
they are not the same as now. In other words, everything is a matter of
I asked if it was not the same man. And the teacher said no
pray to God that those of now are not worse than those.
how could it be the same first than third. And it is that I
Later the professor explained to us about the emperor who
I thought it was the same, and that they were just adding
put the French: his name was Maximiliano, but the funny thing
rayitas as I was getting older.
is that he was not French, but Australian 1 . And it is known that he was born in
Then the teacher sighed and asked us to
Ambulance 2 , as it belonged to the Absurd 3 family .
Let's re-copy what he had written on the blackboard.
Then Godínez said that, on the other hand, the one who had
And therefore I copied it again.
been French was Pancho Villa, but the teacher asked him what
how did he come to say that Pancho Villa was French, and Godínez
"We must study history without generating feelings of
He said it was Francésco Villa. Then Chilindrina asked what,
hatred; no spirit of revenge. Not to make things worse, but
if Maximiliano was not French, why was he said to be a
to improve them. In a word: with Love. "
invasion of the French? And the teacher replied that the one
commanded Maximilian was the Emperor of France, who was
Napoleon called. Then the Chilindrina said that he did
he knew, because he had become very famous for how poor he was.
1. It is obvious that Chavo misheard when the teacher said "Austrian".
2 Did the teacher say that Maximiliano was born into "opulence"?
3 No question: the teacher must have said "Habsburg."

68

Page 69

Today in the morning I gained a peso that Dona gave me


Florinda as a tip for an errand I ran for her. Then
Chilindrina arrived and advised me to bury the weight in a
pot and tell Doña Florinda that someone had
Stolen. I asked him what did he gain from that, and Chilindrina
He told me that he was earning two things: first, that Doña Florinda
It would be a shame to know that my coin had been stolen, and
so much would give me another weight. Second, that after having
planted the weight in the pot, there would grow a money tree
that every year he would give me a lot of coins.
The idea seemed very good to me, and therefore I left
It could not be, that money does not reproduce like oranges and
the lemons.
I thought Jaimito was right, because he knows a lot about
plants and all that. So I went to dig up my weight from the
pot; but then I found that the coin had
missing. So someone had stolen it.
That made me very sad and I started crying and went into the
barrel.
After a while the Chilindrina arrived and asked me why
he was crying, and I told him that my coin had been stolen
that I buried in the flowerpot. Then Chilindrina told me: "That
es, Chavito !, you are doing very well. When Doña Florinda
see that you are crying so sincerely, for sure you will
believe that it was true that the coin was stolen. "But I
I told him that was exactly what had happened: that
someone had stolen my coin. But the very message is not
understood
And he kept insisting: "That's it, Chavo, what a good actor
you are! "That gave me a lot of courage. And I told him not to be messed
running to plant my weight in a pot.
Then I went to look for Jaimito the Postman to decide what
no longer worry about how much he spent on medicine,
Well, very soon I could lend him what he needed. But
Jaimito asked me how I was going to get that money, and
when I explained about the coin tree, he told me that

that thethe
truth
wasbut
thatit Iwas
wasuseless,
not acting,
but that
was
telling
truth;
because
the IChilindrina
He still didn't understand.
And we were discussing this when the Professor arrived
Giraffes and asked us what was wrong. I explained everything to him,
but when I finished my explanation I realized that the

69

Page 70

Chilindrina was no longer there. In other words, he could not confirm to the
teacher what I told him.
Then Professor Jirafales gave me an equal weight
the one he had before, and he told me he wanted to find the
Chilindrina to talk to her.

Last night Chilindrina told me that she had found


a very bad boy who was the one who had stolen the coin
buried in the pot. That surely had been
spying on me when I buried her, and then she went and dug her up and
ran away with her. But then Chilindrina caught up with him, gave him
punches and got my coin back.
That's why I love her so much.
And that's why we went to the store and spent the weight between
both (50 cents each).
But the Chilindrina told me that what I was
doing was a charity work and that people should not walk
telling that he does charity work, because then he loses
all the credit. That's why he told me not to tell the Professor
Giraffes And that's why I'm never going to tell you.

70

Page 71

bruises. And he also took out the way of crying that has the
Chilindrina. So they both cry for no reason, but that
yes, with some screeching that can be heard twenty blocks away.
By the way, thebecause
Chilindrina
does"great-grandmother".
not know how to pronounce the
"great-grandmother",
she says
Anyway, I miss Ron Damón a lot;
It is true that he was lazy, liar and tantrum, but also
it is true that he was very nice.
For a few days, the Chilindrina has lived with her
great-grandmother instead of living with her dad, because Ron Damón is
working elsewhere.
Well, that's what Chilindrina said, but I think
that only half of what he said is true. I mean: yes it is
It is true that his father is in another place, but it is not true that
is working. You are most likely looking for a way
to earn money without having to work. And it may also be that
they put him in jail.
Chilindrina's great-grandmother is called Doña Nieves. And the
The name suits her very well, because she has white hair like the
snow. But not very white to say. That is: it is not so
white as coconut snow, but rather like that of
soursop. But of those soursop that are already
worms. The bad thing is that Chilindrina's great-grandmother
It turned out to be just as pegalona as Ron Damón, because hardly
has been in the neighborhood for a few days and has already given me many

71

Page 72

Ñoño returned from vacation and told me that he found


to a girl named Patricia Jiménez, who sent me
say hello, but I don't remember who it is.

The most beautiful of all is Christmas.


In the houses they put nativity scenes and trees with light bulbs.
colors that turn on and off. The lights seem
stars.
They also adorn the streets and shops.
Very beautiful songs are heard in the churches.
This Christmas they invited me to Doña's house
Florinda and they let me have as much dinner as I wanted. And there the
all: Professor Jirafales, Mr. Barriga, Ñoño, Doña
Florinda, Quico, la Popis, la Chilindrina, Ron Damón, Doña
Nieves, Godínez, Jaimito el Postero and Doña Clotilde. (Not here
I say that Doña Clotilde is the Witch of 71, because at the time of
Christmas sounds ugly.)
At midnight everyone hugged everyone. But
The one who hugged me the most was Chilindrina. and Doña Florinda
He hugged Professor Jirafales a lot. And Doña Clotilde wanted
72

Page 73

hug a lot to Ron Damón and Jaimito the Postman, but they
they weren't so keen.
At the foot of the tree were many packages wrapped with
Color papers. They were gifts that Mr. Barriga had
worn for all. And there was even one for me! It was a stroller
made of plastic, much more beautiful than the ones I make with
cardboard boxes.
But that stroller didn't last me long, because at the
The next day I gave it to the son of the neighborhood concierge. Is
that the goalkeeper's son is a poor child.

Professor Jirafales told me that every time I breathe


a child is born into the world. But no way to stop breathing.
Then he explained to me that what he meant is that in
this world there are already too many inhabitants, habitants and
little habitants; and that the bad thing is that people spend all the time
time being born. In other words, there will come a time when
we will not fit. and when this happens what are we going to do
those that are left over?
Of course, those of us who are left over are the poor,
because the rich almost do not give birth. And it is that the parents
of the rich have other ways of having fun.

73

Page 74

Yesterday the same thing happened as the other time: that Jaimito the
Postman did not leave his house at all.
I realized
forfifth
him
come down
to seewhy
thatIIhad
canbeen
jumpwaiting
from the
stair step.
But nothing going down.
So I went upstairs to see if something was wrong with him. And what you
What happened was that he was already dead.
His eyes were closed, as if he were just
slept. And it even seemed as if he was dreaming something beautiful,
for he had the face of being happy. But it can't be, because neither
so that he would be glad to die.
Or who knows, because Jaimito the Postman always said
that he preferred to avoid fatigue.
So you've already avoided fatigue forever.

JAIMITO EL CATERO

74

Page 75

That means saving is good. But not always;


just when you keep good things. Because, for example: no
it is good to keep the garbage, it is better thrown in a garbage can. In
change it is good to save a little money, in case one arrives
inflation.
And the same goes for the things you remember. For
example: if you fight with another child, never try to save the
I remember that in memory, because if you remember you go back to
suffer.
And the other way around: if something nice happens to you, the
that you remember him every time, because every time you feel again
that you are happy.
And happiness is when you are happy.
So it is best to save in memory only
the memories of good things.
In case there is an inflation of happiness.

Professor Jirafales explained to us that the word "inflation"


does not just mean that something is inflated, but that
it also means that things are getting more and more expensive.
That is why Ñoño is a much more expensive child than me: because he is
as fat as a well-inflated balloon. I, on the other hand, am
like a well deflated balloon. That is why I am a cheap child.
And I would like to be an expensive child, because children
expensive eat very well every day. But there are very few children
expensive, most of us are cheap.
The teacher also told us that it is very good to know
save, because those who save always have something when it arrives
inflation.
I remember that, shortly before he died, Jaimito the Postman
Said saving is the same as saving. And what about
memory, because people keep in memory the things that
remember. In other words, if you don't remember something, it's because you don't
you have saved in memory.

75

Page 76
Epilogue
The above is written on the last page of the notebook.
So, that is where this concludes that we decided to publish with the title
from "Diario del Chavo del Ocho". But it is not (nor should it be) an end,
since, with obvious exceptions, newspapers are distinguished
precisely for that: for not having an end. And the exceptions
they are usually sad. As sad, for example, as the ending that goes
implicit in the very fact that a newspaper announces that it reaches
its end...
But this is not, fortunately, the case of Chavo del
Eight. The Diary ends because the notebook has no more
pages to offer to the incipient author; but it is clear that life
keep going. That the daily writing ends, but that the
daily happen; the daily accumulate experiences that later
they could be narrated in another notebook. (And in another book?)
But that life that continues, what is it like now? How
passes?

I tried to find out. I returned many times to


park; I searched busily; I inquired; I asked; I sat in
the same bank where I was when Chavo del Ocho gave
shine to my shoes; the same place where he had left
abandoned his notebook. But it was all in vain.
And there is only one resource: that a
copy of this book and that, if he deems it appropriate, he
in contact with me.
If this were to happen, don't think, Chavo, what I will do
misuse of our possible friendship. I just want to give you the
Thank you. Infinite thanks for everything that character gave me
incomparable that is El Chavo del Ocho.

76

Page 77

Historical
By Florinda Meza
Through the streets of Bogotá a crowd of a crowd gathers
number of people who, according to official government estimates
Colombian, exceeds three million. Inevitably there is
shoving, squeezing, passing out, hysterical fits, etc.
All as a consequence of the uncontrollable desire to contemplate
up close to the idol, or touching it, if possible.
But who is the relevant character that causes all this?
A national hero? The world champion of a discipline
sporty? The Holy Father?

Experts in the Psychology of the masses could be called upon, an


even so it would be difficult to find an explanation for the
phenomenon. Therefore, it will be better to focus on exposing the
facts:
It all begins one day in March 1972, when the
Mexican writer and actor Roberto Gómez Bolaños (best
known as "Chespirito") presents on television the first
program of the series that was to move a whole
continent and much of the rest of the world. In the broadcast
the actor appears, who has already been
reached the category of adult, dressed as a poor child:
worn shoes that are too big for him; threadbare pants,
patched and patched, shirt in the same condition;
two strips of cloth that make up the most rudimentary straps;
and, above all, a cap with ear flaps that will be the main
characteristic of his outfit. It lacks so much, that not even
it seems to have a name of its own. But even this is not necessary, since
his nickname, "El Chavo del Ocho", will be heard and repeated
weekly by more than 300 million viewers. (And the
number keeps increasing.) It is eventually said that it lives
No. This time the character is just a child
poor.
Lie! ... He is an adult disguised as a poor child, and people
knows. But what does it matter! Either way it's about "EL
CHAVO DEL OCHO".

in apartment number 8 of an old but clean neighborhood,


and hence the nickname. But no one has ever seen said
Department. Infinite times, instead, he has been seen
take refuge in a barrel that is in the neighborhood patio, which
has generated that not a few people assure that it is there where
The popular Chavo lives, despite the fact that he has clarified in

77

Page 78

repeatedly that the barrel is only what we said


portrayed a child, whether on television, film, radio, theater or
lines behind: a refuge, that special little corner that everyone has
any other similar medium: Chavo is not the naughty child, nor is he
children, and in which they usually hide to cry, to dream,
smart kid, not too dumb kid, not even pretty kid
etc.
the boy too ugly, no, El Chavo del Ocho is only the
It is unknown who his parents were, when he arrived, from
more tender.
Where did it come. On the other hand, it is known that he has no toys. And that
But regardless of whether this is due to the infinite
he hardly ever eats breakfast. However, on many occasions the
tenderness that inspires, how much fun and entertains, or how much
character shows signs of optimism. Maybe because deep down
For whatever other reason, the impact is gigantic.
knows, as its author has put it, that he possesses the most valuable of
When his arrival in Santiago de Chile is announced, the
gifts: life.
popular euphoria anticipates that schoolchildren will go to greet him at
The series aims to amuse and entertain, and it does so with
airport instead of attending classes. And the authorities of the
broader than any other program out there
Ministry of Education prevent this from constituting a fault ...
presented on mainland television. (Including television from
granting general leave and informing that the reason is
United States.) But he does not always succeed by dint of
only this one: to give people the opportunity to go to receive
to get the public laughter, because on many occasions it is
his idol. The latter, then, parades in the company of his popular
tenderness is the main element of fun.
group, overwhelmed by a crowd that sets out from the
And isn't that tenderness precisely the foundation and
distant airport to the hotel door where
explanation of the incredible phenomenon that El Chavo del
will be housed.
Eight? Because, on the other hand, it's not even the funniest of
In another city of the same Republic of Chile,
the characters that make up the great cast of the
Valparaíso, the crowd remains for hours at the foot of the hotel,
program, because in this line Don
being happy for the simple fact that Chavo or his
Ramón, la Chilindrina or Quico.
colleagues lean out to wave. More so: that
Then?
mima crowd spontaneously begins to sing "How Beautiful
Tenderness.
Neighborhood ", the group's theme song.
However, El Chavo del Ocho has another characteristic
Afterwards, personal introductions don't just come back
that differentiates you from all other adults who have
to confirm the popularity of Chavo, but also

78

Page 79

they set marks that have not yet been equaled. For
example: two functions on the same day (one in the morning and one
afternoon) at the National Stadium in Santiago de Chile, which
has a capacity for 80,000 people, which is filled in

The Polyhedron the same days that there are races in the
racecourse.
BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA.
both functions, or the presentation on the famous stage
from Quinta Vergara, where the famous festivals take place
of the song of Viña del Mar, a place where Chavo and his
group break all attendance marks, forcing
much of the public has to "settle" in the mountains
surrounding the premises.
CARACAS VENEZUELA.
Racetrack employees go to work for the
same road and at the same time as always. But they had not
taking into account that, by the same road and at the same time,
thousands of motorists go to a place close to the
hippodrome: the excellent auditorium called El Poliedro, where
presents El Chavo with his group. Result: traffic jam
prevents racetrack employees from arriving on time to their
job. As a consequence, the first three races
they run without ticket salesmen to take care of the bets, so
the company stops earning something like three million
bolivars.
Second consequence from said event,
the authorities decree that there should be no shows in

"They're crazy, someone says; Luna Park fills up


only when there is a Monsoon fight. (Carlos Monzón,
the most popular boxer ever in Argentina.) How
It is possible, then, that this Mexican group intends to do
five consecutive performances at that location? "
But the above was told to the businessman who had
hired Chavo, who knew what he was doing, well
the show packed the huge and popular auditorium (Luna
Park) not only during the five planned functions, but also
in the other two that had to be added. (And still it was
so many people outside the auditorium, unable to enter due to lack of spa
that more extra functions could have been organized if not
it would have been because he was prevented by the commitment to app
other cities such as Córdoba, Rosario, Mar de Plata, Mendoza,
Tucumán, Santiago del Estero, etc., where the locals meet
also filled to the top.)
Here it is convenient to jump back in time to
return to the same place nine years later. Many
"booms" are repeated after nine long years? East! Yes,
because the group returns to the same place contracted in this
occasion to perform seven functions, and not only get

79

Page 80

again cramming the bleachers of Luna Park, but another


Sometimes they have to add two more functions to the programmed ones,
to set the unsurpassed record of nine days
in a row.
On this occasion, in Buenos Aires itself, a
man who wants to take a picture allied with Chavo,
ensuring that "within a couple of years that photograph
would occupy a prominent place in the Casa Rosada, residence
official of the Argentine Government. "This man was called Carlos
Menem.
LIMA PERU.
"People went to the airport even on tricycles to
to receive Chavo del Ocho. "So read the newspaper article in
reference to the arrival of the popular character. But the crowd doesn't
was specified to arrive in the way he could, but, in addition,
demolished the fence that delimits the space of the tracks
landing and invaded these runways, forcing a rescue by
of the airport security elements to be able to remove
to the Mexican actors aboard ambulances that arrived in
your help. Air traffic had to suffer a delay of two
hours, the time it took for the army to evict (without violence
some, of course) to the more than 50,000 people who
they were invading the track.

PANAMA, PANAMA.
After having filled all the premises where
presented Chavo and his group are invited to the address
particular of Mr. Demetrio Lacas, President of the Republic.
Cabinet ministers, the
Governor of the Province of Panama and countless
personalities.
SAN JUAN PUERTO RICO.
The Mayor hands over the keys to the city to the
Chavo del Ocho. There is no corner of the island where you will not
know. The public fills to the brim any place where they are
presents, either in San Juan itself, or in Ponce, Mayagüez,
Arecibo, Aguadilla, Bayamón, etc.
NEW YORK, USA
Madison Square Garden, reserved luxury setting
exclusively for the great luminaries of the universe of
show. And of course: one of these luminaries is Chavo, who
manages to fill the premises in its widest capacity with an audience
who does not stop laughing or clapping during the entire performance. T
finish, the black cop approaches Chavo and says "I don't
80

Page 81

know a damn word in spanish ... but you are wonderful! "Y
shake his hand effusively.
SAN PEDRO SULA, HONDURAS.
El Chavo and his group cannot take accommodation at the
hotel where they had made their reservation because the
crowd, knowing that they would arrive at that place, invaded the area
corresponding to three blocks around the hotel. And they look
forced, therefore, to lodge in a secret place.
GUATEMALA, EL SALVADOR,
NICARAGUA, COSTA RICA.
Ideologies may be different, but fervor
popular focuses on a single target: El Chavo. And there may be
problems in the region, but none so great as to
prevent all premises from being insufficient when
Chavo and his group present.
And history repeats itself in Ecuador, Uruguay, Paraguay;
but it is not only the crowded places that
attests to the aforementioned popular fervor. No, the phenomenon
acquires characteristics of the sociological order when, for
For example, the president of the Republic of Colombia provides a
reception to Chavo in the same Government House, where both

he and his ministers take off their tie so that the


meeting has a more cordial character.
And then, the characteristic phrases:
The taxi driver from Buenos Aires: "It's nothing; I can't
to charge the one who has brought so much happiness to my home ".
The lady from Viña del Mar: "Please receive this
home as a gift. It's the only way I can find
pay for the joy you bring to my grandchildren. "
The Guatemalan diplomat: "You are the best
ambassadors sent by Mexico, or any other country, to
these lands ".
The Costa Rican politician: "If you, Chavo, will launch your
candidacy for the presidency of this country, you would win with a 99
percent of votes ".
The boy from San Juan: "Here, Chavo: I only have two
dollars, but I'm giving them to you to buy some shoes. "
The boy from El Salvador (while in Mexico City): "I did the
I travel from my country to yours via '' hitchhiking '' just to
greet you personally, Chavo ".
Children, adolescents, the elderly, men and women of
the whole continent: "Thank you; God bless you; thank you. Thank you.
Thank you...
The Ecuadorian school teacher: "I recommend to my
students who do not miss the Chavo program. They are more
helpful than many textbooks. "

81

Page 82

The boy who sells trinkets to the bus passengers


in Guatabita, Colombia: "Look, Chavo: here I bring you," and shows
a Chavo rustically carved in wood, which he wears hanging at the
neck After: "Here, Chavo; I give you this" the merchandise
that he was selling.
Then Chavo invades Brazil (dubbed into Portuguese,
of course) and it doesn't take long for the rating of the
program place it above Xuxa itself, the
unsurpassed local idol.
Then cross the ocean. But it does not stop in Spain,
where success is resounding and immediate, but lasts for
another multitude of countries. And the appropriate dubbing allows
listen to Chavo speaking in Italian, Russian, Chinese, Hindi, etc.
And someday history will have to record everything
concerning this phenomenon. Me, meanwhile, I have
the satisfaction of having participated in the unique feat, the
that I attest with this testimony.

82

You might also like