Boy’s Weekend

The cabin fights off the rugged wilderness of the surrounding woods, standing well kept

against the adversity. Jonathan turns off his radio and engine, letting the cicadas take over the

sudden silence. He opens the door of his station wagon and humid air fills in like a vacuum. He

smiles, welcoming the familiar clamminess. He swings his feet out and uses the momentum to

drag out a stuffed duffel bag from the passenger seat before closing the door with his foot.

He passes a bright red convertible and can't stop himself from whistling in admiration. He

quickly checks his reflection in the side mirror, adjusting and perfecting his hair. The car looks

new and just as out of place as the cabin. His friend Percy is not one for modesty. He slaps the

hood for good measure and strolls up the steps to the cabin. The creaking door is the only thing

to show signs of age that the fresh paint fails to hide. Making the one queen sized bed is Percy,

struggling to get the last two corners of the bed sheet tucked in. Spotting Jonathan coming in he

stops to wave. The bed sheet flies to the centre.

“You’re working so hard for a weekend meant for relaxing” Jonathan laughs, coming to

help Percy, holding the other side of the bed sheet.

“I got here early and got bored waiting for you,” he says.

His smile is a sight for sore eyes. He tucks in the last corner of the fitter sheet, patting the

bed as he looks back at Percy.

“I bet you must’ve made great time in that red beauty out there.” Jonathan says,

“1964 Plymouth, only a year old, barely used.” Percy says. “I got a raise at work so I got

something nice to celebrate.”

“What about the station wagon?” Jonathan asks, throwing the comforter full of memories

over the bed. “Can’t imagine you’d be parting with it so soon.”

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“It’s good for carting the kids around, and the missus is even starting to drive it. But I

wanted something nicer.” He steps towards Jonathan. “For myself.”

“Penelope’s driving now? I can’t imagine my Joanne doing anything like that. She’s more

of a mirror warmer, wouldn't focus on the road.” he laughs with Percy.

“Different strokes for different folks as always. Penny’s a go-getter, always has been. Our

little girl Elizabeth is taking after her unfortunately.”

With the bed made, Percy flops down, throwing his sweater to the floor. Jonathan lies

beside him, rolling onto his back to watch the ceiling fan, humming as it spins.. Their shoulders

meet, brushing against each other. It always starts out tense. The time apart creates a hesitant

divide. Jonathan slides his hand to find Percy’s expectant palm.

“And Jack, how’s the boy doing?” Jonathan says, taking a shaky breath to relax.

“He’s fine, starting school soon.” Percy says, rushing through the remaining pleasantries.

“Good.” He rolls over to face his friend.

Percy follows suit, both quiet, staring into each other’s eyes. Birds chirp outside, the

window propped open. This close, it’s easy to take in every detail of Percy’s face. The pores on

his sloped nose. How his eyelashes play in the sunlight with his blinks. The puff of his lips,

daring themselves to raise ever so slightly. Jonathan smiles, laughing nervously.

“Anything new with you and Joanne?” Percy asks, his eyes wandering.

“She thinks we’re going to have a baby. I think it’s too early to tell.”

“That’s fantastic.” His smile reaches his ears. Jonathan tries his best not to notice the

sincerity. “I think that’s cause for celebration.”

Percy kisses Jonathan, thereby ending the ritualist small chat they start with. Soon he’s

pressed up to Jonathan. In a sudden rush of limbs, they’re wrapped around each other. Finally
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they start catching up with how they’ve felt for the last thirty days. The old springs of the bed

creak as they coil tighter. Jonathan rolls over top of Percy, cupping his cheeks in another kiss

where breathing takes a back seat. Every month is a relapse. Jonathan lets waves of heat wash

over him. A sense of security bores to his core even if it’s a fleeting safety. He lets it consume

him, eager to get his fill.

Late in the evening, after they got the fireplace going, they nestled together under the

covers. Long shadows stretch out from the window in the now orange room, lit up by the fire and

the setting sun. They two men soak in much needed warmth from the little light and fire, relying

on each other's body heat more. Jonathan’s hand rests firmly over Percy’s chest. Coming down

from the rush of adrenaline, he takes in the one-roomed cabin. The bunk bed for Percy’s kids is

close by, unmade and being used as storage. The kitchen, a few steps away, is decorated with

their handmade trinkets made of paper and pasta. A knot curls in his chest, noticing all these

small changes since his last visit. Improvements, the word settles in his mind like vinegar. There

are new sets of dishes, fancy overstuffed pillows, forgotten mittens and socks left out from the

snowier seasons. His eyes settle on the bin full of toys in the corner.

“Were you up with the kids recently?”

“Yea. Me, the kids, and Penelope of course. We were up here last weekend.”

Jonathan lifts his head off his chest by a few inches, a baby carriage catching his

attention. The wood is polished and aside from grass stained wheels, it’s brand new.

“Is that for your third?” He asks, thankful the words don’t catch in his throat.

“Penelope’s a bit over eager. I bought it to settle her down but the kids wanted it. Eliza

loves carting around her Raggedy Ann the whole weekend.”

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His chest bounces with his laughter, slamming into Jonathan’s head with every rise.

Percy’s voice goes to the same tone he always takes when he talks about his family. Steady and

rehearsed, he occasionally emphasizes his love for Penelope. Jonathan stops listening. He

shouldn’t have brought it up. This is meant to be their weekend.

“Jonathan. Jonathan? What, do you want a baby carriage too for Joanne? Are you

listening?”

“Sorry, it’s nothing.” Jonathan sits up.

“Really? What’s the matter?” Percy asks, sitting up beside him.

“Nothing,” he says after a while.

“This is our weekend together, where we get to be ourselves.” He grabs Jonathan by his

shoulder, fingers wrapping around protectively. “We get to be ourselves. We can talk about

anything. Do anything we want.” His arm fully wraps around Jonathan’s shoulders and pulls him

back to the bed, resting their head on his chest.

He’s right. Of course Percy of all people has to be right?

“Yea. I know.”

“Can you tell my kids that?” He laughs.

Jonathan should laugh too. It’s a good joke. It would just take a chuckle and the weekend

can go back to normal. Percy would wake-up first, as he usually does, and start cooking

breakfast. Bacon and eggs. There would be two cups of coffee poured already. Tomorrow, it’s a

nice fantasy. Sunday would be the last night, probably a campfire, sharing a chair. And then

Monday they would get in separate cars and go to their separate houses. It would be normal for a

whole month again. A month of living a regular life. A month without bliss.
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With a deep breath “Actually,” Jonathan says, not knowing what words will follow, “this

isn’t okay.”

“What do you mean?” Percy asks, the genuine confusion stinging Jonathan’s eyes and

burning his throat as he continues.

“I’m not happy with this. This isn’t a date weekend. This is an arrangement away from

our wives. The two are not the same.”

Percy’s jaw is set tightly. Jonathan has already lifted himself off his chest, looking now at

his partner's face for any sign of what he’s thinking. Percy rises up as well, staring into the now

dark room as the trees hide the sun and the fire has dwindled to embers at some point. A chill

creeps its way between them.

“I’m trying to do my best for us. For you. For me.” The words are hollow, in the same

tone as before, as if Percy has said that to Penelope already.

“For me, for you? How do you-”

“Is it not enough? Did you want to get the station wagon instead? Do you want all the

decorating rights to the cabin? What more can I give you Jonathan.” Percy’s voice hitches only

slightly

Jonathan recoils his arm, even as he wants to reach out. The vague shape of his partner

begins to blur as tears line his lower eyelid.

“I’m going out for a smoke.”

The whole bed rockis as he walks away. He expects Percy to storm out yet his steps are

light. He slides the pack of cigarettes and lighter off the counter top and drags his slippered feet

to the door. It opens quickly but he’s careful to close it without too much force. The screen door

still shakes, rattling for a moment before finally settling down. Jonathan closes his eyes, trying to
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believe the warmth on the other side of the bed is more than residual. Should he follow Percy

out? Does Percy even want to see him any more?

He throws the covers off, tearing the warmth off him like a Band-Aid. He grabs a

housecoat as he passes it. It’s Penelope’s. Still, it’s something. He manages to find her slippers

too as he opens the door to the porch.

Percy would’ve heard the door open. He doesn’t look at Jonathan as he steps out. Bare

chested in his boxers, he leans onto the railing with his full weight. A cigarette is lit, held by

parted lips. The light warms his face. His eyes are focused on the two cars, starlight reflecting off

the windshields. The cigarette continues to burn, but he leaves it there, not even taking a breath.

Calloused feet slap against the wooden porch as Jonathan approaches.

“Red is my favourite colour.” Percy says, breathing in, the end of the cigarette burning to

match his car.

Jonathan faces him, squaring his shoulders. Now he wants to laugh. What a ridiculous

thing to say.

“I wanted my own car for the longest time. Not a family car, not a work one, a car for me.

That convertible is mine.” Percy continues in a breathy sigh, exhaling the smoke. “I know it

seems easy for me to pass as straight. I’ve just gotten good at lying about who I am. I give up on

most things I want, but I want this. I’m sorry if it seems like I hide you as a part of my life. Or

focus on my straight life.”

Jonathan steps to his side. He wraps the housecoat around Percy to draw them together

tightly. With light fingers, he plucks the cigarettes and puts it up to his own lips, taking a long

breath. He readjusts his stance, so his foot isn’t between boards.

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Percy continues, finally breaking out of his monotone voice “Penelope told me that

everyone has two kids. She says a third would really mean no one would suspect me.”

He faces Percy, letting the smoke ebb out in a slow and curling trail. The white of his

eyes hardly visible, lit up by the faint glow of the cigarette tip. His face is almost serene, but

Jonathan has learned that was how he expressed sadness.

“So she knows about us.” Jonathan says slowly as it dawns on him.

“She doesn’t care about us. She gets to live out her fantasy life. She’s married to a

successful business man who buys her gifts. She’s the mother of two, soon to be three, beautiful

children. Outing me would ruin all that.”

“So Penelope isn’t upset?” He asks, needing the clarification still. He’s not so certain

what to do with the information.

“Turns out she never really loved me, so not really. I’m just a means to an end.”

“To be fair, she was never your type either.” Jonathan bumps into Percy and shaking him

out of his melancholy.

“We get along well enough. She’s the mother of my children. It’s an understanding I

guess. We treat each other as husband and wife should in public. Nothing more.”

“If you two are husband and wife, what are we?” Jonathan says, resting his head against

Percy’s temple.

“We’re something more than that”

His lips tighten in a smile even as he resists it. Once again he’s right, though Jonathan’s

less resentful of it this time. The cold air is a distant thought as he wraps the housecoat tighter

around them. But the bitter wind pushes them closer.

“Percy, I need you to promise me something”

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The pause isn’t long, and his face is neutral, but Jonathan recognizes the tension rising in

his shoulders. “Anything.”

“If we’re ever allowed to be together, divorce Penelope.” Jonathan blurts out. “I know,

it’s a lot. I’m sorry” the apology rushes out in pursuit.

“You know how much I love you,” Percy starts softly, Jonathan’s shoulder deflating. “I

have two, soon three kids with her. It’s not just her I’d be giving up, it would be the whole

marriage.”

It isn’t a no. It might be damn close to one but he clings to the hope as his partner

continues.

“I’m hoping to raise my kids right, smart. I know they’ll catch on sooner or later. About

me, and us. And I want to raise them to understand it.”

“So it’s a yes? Just say yes.” His voice rising in the silent night. “I don’t care how long

we have to wait, or how long we would have together.”

“I don’t know if we will ever have a life together, but if I knew we could, I would run to

you in a heartbeat.”