Appendix 2
Ground rules for groups
(Taken from the work of Will Schutz, James Elliott and Elizabeth Mintz)
Revised 2008.
1 Awareness of the body
Your body is you. It expresses your feelings, if you will let it. If you
suppress your own body, you may be willing to suppress other people.
In groups such as this we often get rid of chairs and tables so that
interaction may take place physically as well as verbally (See also No.9).
2 The here and now
Talk about what you are aware of in this group at this moment. If you
want to talk about the past, or about events outside the group, find ways
of making them present to the group members. This can often be done
by action or role-playing.
3 Feelings
Let reality have an emotional impact on you, especially the reality of
the other group members. Let yourself feel various emotions – but if
they are blocked, be aware of that too. Feel what it is like to experience
whatever is happening at an emotional level.
4 Self-disclosure
Be open about your feelings or lack of them. Let people into your world.
If you are anxious, let people know about it; if you are bored, it is OK
to say so. Be as honest as you can bear to.
5 Confidentiality
Don’t talk about what is said or done in the group outside it.
6 Taking responsibility
Take responsibility for yourself – do what you want and need to do, not
what you think the group wants you to do. If the leader suggests
something, it is still your decision whether to go along with it. Be aware
of what you are doing to other people by what you say and do: take
responsibility for that. Be aware of the ‘I and thou’ in each statement.
You are not an impartial observer.
204 Appendix 2
7 Risk-taking
If you are torn between expressing something and not expressing it, try
taking a risk. Doing the thing you are most afraid of is usually a good
idea in this group. You can reduce the danger of hostile statements by
saying them non-evaluatively: instead of saying ‘You are a cold person’,
say ‘I feel frozen when you talk like that’. This is more likely to be true,
and it makes you more real to the others. In a good group, people support
risk-takers.
8 Safety
If at any point you are in danger of going beyond the limits of what
you can take, use the code phrase STOP! I MEAN IT! and everything
will stop immediately. No physical violence in the group. No physical
sex.
9 Listening
Listening to others lets us in to their worlds. But listening is not just
about words – it means being aware of expressions, gestures, body
positions, breathing. Allow your intuition and compassion to work.
Really be there with the other people in the group.
10 Bridging distances
As relationships in the group become clearer, there may be one or two
members you feel very distant from, or want to be distant from. By
expressing this, a new kind of relationship may begin to appear.
Opposition and distance are just as likely to lead to growth as closeness
and support, as long as the feelings are owned.
11 Distress
When someone in the group is distressed, encourage them to stay with
that feeling until the distress is fully worked through, or turns into some
other emotion. There is a ‘Red Cross nurse’ in all of us who wants to
stop people feeling distressed, and jumps in too soon. A person learns
most by staying with the feeling, and going with it to its natural end,
which is often a very good place.
12 Support and confrontation
It is good to support someone who is doing some self-disclosure, some
risk-taking, some bridging of distances. It is good to confront someone
who is not being honest, who is avoiding all risk-taking, who is diverting
energy away from the group’s real work. It is possible to do both these
things with love and care. A good group is full of mutual support.
13 Avoidance
Don’t ask questions – make the statement which lies behind the question.
Address people directly, saying ‘I’ rather than ‘it’ or ‘you’. Don’t say
– ‘I feel’ when you mean – ‘I think’. Ask yourself – ‘What am I avoiding
at this moment?’
Appendix 2 205
14 The saver
Don’t take any of these rules too seriously. Any set of rules can be used
to put someone down – perhaps yourself. In a good group, you can be
who you are, say what you mean, and not have to be some particular
way.
SOURCE: John Rowan (2005) A guide to humanistic psychology, London:
AHPP
