Masterclass (2)

Beyond Rapport
Step 2: The Play
Empathy and Rapport (Make People Like You)

-The play, the moment when you first hook a victim and begin to gain her
trust. And that is accomplished, first and foremost, through emotion.
-As any good confidence man will tell you, someone who is emotional is
someone who is vulnerable.
-And so, before a single element of the actual con is laid out, before a single
persuasive appeal is made, before a mark knows that someone will want
something, anything at all, from him, the emotional channels are opened.
-And as in that first rush of romantic infatuation, we abandon our reason to
follow our feeling.
-Feeling first, logic later =>Make people want to believe first
-People occasionally concede they make mistakes about inference, but
never change their preference.
-When you like someone, you would overlook a lot of logical
inconsistencies.
-Act as his/her ideal archetype
-Tell a story that make people want to help you, a moving one, a hero’s
journey/a victim’s tale (Rapport generating story)
-Empirically Sound vs believable (Feels Real).
 Previous Class

-is all about choice of victim, understanding of target.

-learning what makes someone who she is (Identity), what she holds
dear(Values), what moves her(Motivation), and what leaves her
cold(Foundational fear).
-After the mark is chosen, it is time to set the actual con (Persuasion) in motion:
the play, the moment when you irst hook a victim and begin to gain her trust.
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How?
 Emotion

-someone who is emotional is someone who is vulnerable

-before a single element of the actual con is laid out, before a single
persuasive appeal is made, before a mark knows that someone will want
something, anything at all, from him, the emotional channels are opened
(Much More Than Rapport).
-And as in that irst rush of romantic infatuation, we abandon our reason to
follow our feeling.
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Reason is the guard of feeling.
 Emotional Versus Rational

-the rational concerns itself with the “right” choice, the

proper impression, the correct course of action
-emotions cause us to think in “categorical, personal,
concretive, unre lective, and action oriented” fashion.
-re lexive vs re lective
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Just where someone who may
wish to take advantage wants
us.
“Feeling and Thinking: Preferences Need No Inferences.”
Robert Zajonc (1980)

-conventional wisdom in the psychological community—that feelings

come after thought —was wrong
-Our emotional reactions are often our irst, before we perform any
evidence-based evaluation.
-So the con artists appeal to the most base emotions irst. Our desires, our
fears, our loneliness, even our physical pain. They go right for the heart.
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 “When any physical process rises above the threshold of consciousness, it
is the a ective elements which as soon as they are strong enough, rst
become noticeable. They begin to force themselves energetically into the
xation point of consciousness before anything is perceived of the
ideational elements.”

Wilhelm Wundt, one of the founders of the Gestalt movement

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Emotion Inspire More Con idence Than Logic

-Feelings irst, Logic Later

-Emotion could be activated quite easily, it also inspired great con idence than
logical reasoning.
-Mere exposure often didn’t breed any sort of objective sense of familiarity or
recognition. You didn’t remember that something had happened, that you’d seen
something, heard something, felt something. Instead, it bred a simple, subjective
liking.
-You didn’t know why, but you preferred this one thing.
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-Merely smiling or frowning, for instance, changes the
pattern of blood low to our brains. The result is a
physiological change in our emotion.
-UNCONSCIOUS HELLO+SMILE+MERE EXPOSURE
EFFECT=UNCONSCIOUS LIKING
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-Not only do we form emotional impressions long before we create any rational
understanding, but those impressions, in turn, are “irrevocable.”
-We can readily accept that we can be wrong about facts, but we are never wrong about what
we like or dislike.
-Any cries of foul play will fall on deaf ears if you’ve already decided you like the person doing
the conning.
-They “feel” more right. We trust our feelings more than any facts anyone can tell us. Our
preferences need no inferences—and activating those preferences is what conning is all about.
 Let Me Recap & Re-Stress
You Have No Idea How Serious This Is

-Emotion dictates focus, if you don’t accept something emotionally, you

CANNOT THINK ABOUT IT.
-Emotion makes decision, logic is used to fabricate reasons to support
decisions made by emotion.
-If you open your emotional channel to someone (i.e. you like
someone), you literally cannot see obvious contradictions/signs that he
is non-trustworthy/ logical laws in what he said.
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-Good irst impression is irreversible, meaning, you’d have to continue
to like someone even if you know you shouldn’t!!!
-Mere exposure effect creates unconscious liking WITHOUT
MEMORY of previous exposure.
-Unconscious Hello + Smile + Mere Exposure Effect = Like you before
you open your mouth, and that liking is inexplicable, without memory,
allows you to do no wrong in future dealings, and cannot be reversed!!!
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So far this is just liking,
I can like you but
don’t really trust you
What Is Trust?
Trust is not the same as believe
 I Trust You
Is Di erent From
I Believe you
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 I believe you means I accept
what you said because it makes
sense and sound plausible.
 I trust you mean because I consider you as ‘one of
us’ and we would protect each other, so I would
trust you regardless of facts or evidence, the
con dence in you is based on my bonding with you.
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How to Make People Trust You?
How To Make People Consider
You ‘One of Us’?
Make People Help You
Make People Want To Help You
Tell A Story
 The Power of Stories

-Stories can have a meaningful and lasting effect on our own thoughts, actions, and
opinions.
-They can even overcome signi icant resistance in our beliefs (change mind) or attitudes,
about important issues.
-In fact, gripping narratives supersede any logic or more direct tactic: it is the only strategy
for getting someone to agree with you or behave in a certain way, where any direct appeals
would be met with resistance.
-The con artist gets what he wants without ever having to ask(In fact you shouldn’t ask). You
yourself kindly offer it up
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 The Opening Line
Disqualification

-Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra:

“I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him,”
Marc Antony says in his irst speech to the Roman people. His listeners hated Caesar. Antony then
goes on to praise Caesar. And he gets away with it. No one quite realizes what’s going on.

-Disquali ication (You and I are too similar, wouldn’t work, let’s just be friend)
-Build Rapport
-Attention Capture
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The First Line Of A
Good Sales Copy Is
DAMAGING ADMISSION
 More Examples

-“I’m not trying to sell you anything!”

-“You can take it or leave it!”
-“I’m not looking for charity!”
…
-No self-respecting con artist goes straight for the kill. It’s a relationship
built on trust, and a story that evolves over time.
In June 2014, a persistent journalist, Jen Banbury, published an exposé of a
legitimate-seeming businessman who had lured a substantial number of investors
from the Amish community into a land scheme in Florida that seemed more
suspect by the minute. Tim Mo tt had spent ve years building trust within the
Lancaster County enclave, operating a produce business, hiring some Amish,
getting to know others. Now he wanted to start the next big thing: a wonderful
opportunity to get in on an RV park in Bushnell, Florida, that would be sure to yield
a 9 percent return on investment.
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 Patience Patience Patience
唔使錢嘅嘢最貴=沒有無緣無故的愛=屙篤尿照下⾃⼰個樣

-Start by saying you aren’t selling anything at all, building the trust
of the audience, and only with trust then change course for the
true kill.

-Even if you don’t really trust the story of the con artist at irst,
with enough time a good story can change your actions.

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 Factor 1
Empathy, It Feels Good To Help, So I Give You Money

Version 1: “Ben’s dying,” the father tells the camera. He goes on to say that
Ben has a brain tumor that, in a matter of months, will end his life. He has
resolved, however, to stay strong for the sake of his family, as painful as the
coming weeks will be. The camera fades to black.

-Watching the ilm made about half the people donate money to a cancer
charity.
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Version 2: Ben and his dad were at the zoo. Ben was bald. His dad called
him “Miracle Boy.” But there was no real story arc, or immediate
mention of cancer, or tension about any life outcomes. They donated
little or no money.

-Those who’d seen the original story and donated more money were
also happier and more empathetic after the fact.
Version 3: Same Story as Version 1, sprayed oxytocin into the nose of
some subjects.
-Their donations increased further 57 percent.
-Good Story=> Empathy=> Help=> Release Oxytocin=Feel Good
About Giving.
-That’s why puppies and babies are shown in toilet paper commercials.
 2 purposes of story

-It relies on the narrative itself rather than any overt arguments or logical
appeals to make the case on its own, and it makes us identify with its
characters. We’re not expecting to be persuaded or asked to do something.

-And even if we’re not relating to the story as such, the mere process of
listening to story can create a bond—a bond that can later be exploited.
Storytelling Can Build Rapport!
 Factor 2: Dramatic/Extreme

-The more a story transported us into its world, the more we were likely
to believe it.
-And if it’s especially emotionally jarring—How amazing/awful! I can’t
believe that happened to her!—that somehow seems to ratchet the
perceived truthfulness up a notch.
-The more extreme the story, the more successful it could ultimately be.
The Story of The Fake Deaf
Japanese Musician
 Story Cannot Be Defended Against

-Elaboration likelihood model: If we’re highly motivated, we will focus on and be persuaded by the
arguments in the message itself. If we’re not motivated, we’re more likely to be in luenced by external
cues, like a person’s appearance, what she’s wearing, how she’s talking, and the like.

-The basic emotion brought forth by a powerful story, however, can override even motivation. Instead
of processing a message logically, we act like the unmotivated person and take in all the wrong things.

-That’s the power of story, even if we’re trying hard not to get conned, if the story unrolls in the right
way, it eventually won’t matter; the narrative sweep will take over.

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 How To Hook With Story

1. Awful Plot=> Empathy

2. Wishful identi ication:We Want To Be Him=> Greed

The more similar the characters are to us, whether because of appearance or social position, the more likely we are to relate to them. The more we
like the con idence man, the more we relate to him. (Think Lam Cook To LiHKG Users, Edison Chen wouldn’t be as successful in the JPEX scam.)

3. Sensational Threat=>Fear=>Abandon Judgement

4. Told when target is happy instead of angry (so obvious)=>More Likely To Rely On Cues Instead of Logic

5. Told when target is sad and lonely (sadness increase impulsiveness and recklessness)

6. Told when target is in the release phase of tension -release. (Just Avoid Ticketing, Dodged a punishment)=> Create Fear, then Relief Fear.
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 7 Hidden Addictions

People Need To Be:

-Needed
-Understood
-Scapegoat
-Hope
-Right
-Control
-Taboo
 2 Types Of Story

Story of Bonding => “Us Versus Them” => So They Would Like You So
Much To Overlook Your Mistakes, Should:
-Make Them Want To Hep You (Needed)
-Your Tragedy Validate His Suspicion (Right)
-By Helping You, He Is Doing Something About What He Believes (Control)
-Give Him A Chance To Bond With Someone He Is Not Suppose To Bond
With (Taboo)
In Order To Tell A Good Bonding Story,
You Need To Be Very Clear About His
World View, Who/What Is His
Archenemy?
Then Position Yourself As The
Resistance In Need Of Help
 Step1: Build a Character
People Care About
• Your audience needs to know that you are a character of depth, substance and
integrity. at you have faced adversity and overcome it, and that you can rise to
any occasion by working hard and making thoughtful decision. 你的觀眾需要知
道你是⼀一個有深度、有內涵和正直的⼈人物。 ⾄至少，你已經⾯面對並克服了了逆境，你
可以通過努⼒力力⼯工作和做出深思熟慮的决定來來應對任何情况。

• “When I first got here it was not easy”

• Consistency
• Sacrifice
• Going into the unknown
• Working hard in the face of uncertainty
• Holding against the tide
• When things got good, maintained values
 Story 2: Story of Scam

We’d Talk More About It Next Month, but it should include:

-Something That Could Explain His Failure (Scapegoat), e.g. ’THE GOV, THE FED’
-Something that could give him hope (e.g. Crypto could make you rich)
-The Movement Needs Him
-Validate (Right) His Suspicion, e.g. Deep State Really Exist!
-Take Back Control (of Your Money, e.g. Crypto)
-The Government Doesn’t Like It (Taboo)