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 August 2012
Features
Erotic Story
Wax On, Wax Off...........................................................24
Showstoppers
2012 EXXXotica Chicago.............................................30
Out & About 1
Tori Black Lights Up Lust.............................................36
Dave Cummings
From The Trenches........................................................42
At The T.T. Bar
From Cards By Harris....................................................47
Lone Star Lovely
Drew Lee of Moulin Rouge...........................................48
Out & About 2
Nadia Nitro Flaming Hot at Glamour Girls...................54

Departments
Local Legal Expertise
Are you really informed?...............................................26
Director’s Chair
The In’s & Out’s Of Pornland........................................38
The Funny Pages
Something To Tickle Your Funny Bone.........................44
DVD Reviews
This Month’s Hot Choices.............................................50

Essential Index
Directory
Guide to Adult Entertainment in Houston.....................10
Publisher’s Pen
Your Phone and Naked Pics...........................................14
Letter from the Editor
A Turn For The Better....................................................20
Tit-Bits
Houston’s Adult Rumor Mill.........................................22
Sexscopes
We’ve aligned the stars just for you...............................46
Classifieds
Check Out What’s In Store For You..............................52

Cover Girl: Summer

Submissions will not be returned unless requested and accompanied by a S.A.S.E. Adult Quest reserves
the right to revise any accepted material to fit editorial guidelines. Submission implies the work is
original. Those submitting bear the responsibility of any copyright infringement.
The products and services available herein are also not to be purchased by minors. The articles and
editorials are meant for entertainment purposes only, and do not necessarily represent the opinion of
Gray Entertainment Service, LLC it’s affiliates and or subsidiaries. This publisher in no way offers any
recommendation, endorsement or guarantees of any kind in regard to any service, product or person
advertised or mentioned within. Therefore Adult Quest and it’s publishers may not be held liable or
responsible in any way for any actions ensuing from advertising. For questions or comments on this
publication please don’t hesitate to write us at: 5722 Fairdale Lane, Houston, Texas 77057. Adult
Quest and the original typeface creation and logo configuration are copyrighted representations of the
Adult Quest trademark owned by Gray Entertainment Service, LLC.
On July 27, 2006 President Bush signed into law the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of
2006 (HR 4472). The series of acts within the bill are targeted to protect children from harm and ex-
ploitation. Elements of the new law also expand the types of images that require performers to provide
government mandated documentation. Historically Adult Quest has chosen to not publish adult content
that would be subject to these record-keeping requirements. However, the new expanded definition
of adult content does cover some types of images that we allowed, specifically those which included
genitals or pubic areas, even if blurred. We sincerely appreciate your understanding as we comply with
the requirements of the new laws.

Copyright 2012 © No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of its
publishers. The Adult Quest logo design, was created by, is copyrighted and is the property of Gray
Entertainment Service, LLC.

Adult Quest Trademark is owned by Gray Entertainment Service, LLC.

The publishers reserve the right to refuse any advertisement for any reason including, but not limited
to, content or design with no further responsibility than a refund of any payments made.
The publishers assume no responsibility for errors and/or omissions, or inability to publish due to
mistake or any other reason caused or suffered by themselves or their subcontractors. Such an occur-
ance will not constitute a breach of any contract and the publisher will be liable for only the price of the
ad space and may at their option run a “make good” ad of the same size in a subsequent issue. No right
to discount or credit will be given.
The advertiser is solely responsible for ad content and photos and/or art work submitted for their
advertisement and shall indemnify and hold harmless the publisher from photos or art work run in
their ad due to copyright or trademark infringement, lack of proper releases, slander, libel, unfair trade
practices etc. The advertiser also assures and takes full responsibility for keeping all records as to the
age and identity of all models in submitted photos as required by law and proving that all models are
18 years old or older.
Send questions, comments & submissions to:
Gray Entertainment Service, LLC • 5722 Fairdale Lane • Houston, TX 77057

6 www.adultquesttv.com FOR AD RATES CALL 281-780-1758

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 BOOK & VIDEO mystique spa Erotic Cabaret Boutique eclipse sinfully young
STORES 10800 W. Bellfort Ave.
281-575-7223
1222 Westheimer
713-528-4565
6821 South Gessner
713-771-7777
8926 Gulf Freeway
713-941-9600
Oasis Relaxation Eros 1207 Fantasy North Showpalace
24 Hour Video & DVD
1319 FM 1960 West @ Ella 1207 Spencer 8503 N. Frwy 1411 Spencer Hwy
12745 East Frwy (Exit Normandy)
281-580-8808 713-944-6010 281-999-6833 713-943-2990
713-445-8670
oriental bath house High Times G Cabaret Solid Platinum
DT 24 Hour Video
8022 Almeda-Genoa 6881 S. Gessner @ Bellaire 9009 Airport Blvd. 2732 West TC Jester @ 610
176 N. Sam Houston Pkwy East
713-991-5995 713-777-1783 713-910-3953 713-680-1414
281-445-7727
passion spa Katz Boutique 832-588-7726 Splendor
Big City News & Video
12141 NW Freeway 290 @ 43rd www.KatzBoutique.com glamour girls 7440 W. Greens Rd
10105 Gulf Frwy
713-681-1888 2720 SW Freeway @ Kirby 14428 Hempstead Hwy. 281-477-3000
713-943-0799
star bath house 281-496-5296 713-462-1700 sunset strip
BJ’s 24 Hour News
7506 Park Place Blvd. 16855 North Freeway Gold Cup 2425 Mangum Rd.
6314 Gulf Frwy
713-645-3333 281-444-5289 12747 NW Frwy 713-680-3500­
713-454-0340
studio 5901 9820 N. Freeway, Suite B 713-460-0171 Treasures
Cupid
Relaxation center 281-847-9669 Hottyz Latino Cafe 5647 Westheimer
5305 Easthampton Dr.
5901 Schumacher Ln. 5555 SW Freeway & Sports Bar 713-629-6200
281-219-7999
713-706-4105 713-662-3000 9870 Westpark vegas men’s club
Executive Video
1710 Highway 6 713-787-0081 1925 HWY 6 South
14002 Northwest Frwy (US 290)
clothing 281-496-5285 Houston Dolls 281-531-7900
713-462-5100
Fantasy Adult Bookstore
boutiques 12843 Westheimer 313 Rankin Rd Scores
8120 Steadman 281-752-7970 281-443-1819 9850 Westpark
Adam & eve Joy of Houston 713-266-6560
713-674-3805 14707 Eastex Freeway
17531 Hwy 249 11242 FM 529
Intrigue 281-360-0009
9374 Richmond
281-469-0619
Love Works 713-538-9200 Misc. Services
25701 I-45 North, Exit 73 la chatte
713-244-2787 25170 I-45 North
281-298-0069 13335 Duluth adult cakes by kim
Pinemont Video 281-292-0070
Boogie’s Boutique 713-455-4424 713-320-3454
7700 Pinemont Suite F Zone D’ Erotica
3303 Sage Legends www.kimsbow.com
713-460-8745 19211 Hwy 45 & Cypresswood
713-629-7900 6333 Richmond adult SMS texts
smoke alley 281-528-7861
Bizarre Bazaar 713-784-6333 1-866-451-2622
4602 Dacoma St. 2626 W. Loop South
12344 Gulf Frwy C-1 Legs Cabaret Bunny Ranch
713-688-0600 713-944-1957 713-960-1762
22401 Loop 494, Suite 650 8307 Gulf Freeway 1-888-BUNNYRANCH
Talk of the Town 3403 W. FM 1960 #C
281-358-2720 713-242-6555 darque tan
DVD Stores 281-843-1776
8226 Gulf Freeway 131376 Willowchase Dr lust men’s club 1-888-95-TANME
920 S. Mason Rd • Suite A Greco & Associates, PC
713-644-8140 281-970-4980 9924 North Freeway
281-395-4747
821 I-45 North Conroe 281-272-LUST 8100 Washington Ave., Suite 250
10550 Gulf Freeway 10602 FM 1960
713-941-8447 936-539-6607 Moments on the 713-972-1100
281-477-0885
Southside GT’s custom floors
4121 N. Freeway 7127 Spencer Hwy • Suite 150
713-697-0542 281-478-9900 male dance 5133 Spencer Hwy · Pasadena
281-487-1962
7125 Bayway Dr
832-785-6029
12310 Hempstead 1401 Spring-Cypress Rd (for women only)
The Men’s Club Hot Shot Pool Hall
713-462-7424 281-288-4700
3303 Sage 12909 Westheimer Rd.
9906 Eastex Bizarre Times La Bare
713-629-7900 281-589-7676
713-692-6403 5727 Richmond Ave 6447 Richmond Ave
Moulin Cabaret mega mates dating
Across from Sam’s Boat 713-780-0930
studios 713-334-2021
8930 Winkler 713-229-9900
8261 Richmond #N clubs 713-910-4300
oceans cabaret
Sam’s Limo
9215 Rasmus
7th heaven 713-532-9990
1244 Gulf Freeway 713-780-7077
1331 FM 1960 East 8726 Richmond Centerfolds
409-938-1515 smoke alley
281-443-2000 832-767-0331 6166 Richmond
emerald spa the palace 4602 Dacoma St.
8615 Westheimer 713-952-0799
9301 Bissonnet 713-688-0600
2235 Richmond Ave. 713-954-7121 chicas locas
713-774-8200 Splash Car Wash
713-572-5618 Cindie’s Michael’s International
envy 1641 Westheimer The Penthouse Club 5726 Richmond Ave.
6440 Southwest Frwy
713-528-6016 2618 Winrock 713-952-9692
2637 Winrock 713-784-5900
25915 I-45 N #C 713-974-2100 8730 Westheimer Rd.
713-277-8782 Chics Cabaret
Golden Times 281-367-3331 Playmates 713-266-9274
10255 East Freeway
120 W 1st St. 9605 SW Frwy 2203 Shepherd Dr.
3824 S. Dairy Ashford 713-670-8438
281-970-0969 713-778-1440 713-525-5151
281-589-7911 Club Desyre
7903 Westheimer Pleasures texpo energy
h bath house 6920 Fairbanks N. Houston
713-266-8665 11150 NW Freeway 713-443-5610
7609 Broadview Dr 832-439-0755
3507 S. Shepherd 713-686-3401 Wine her dine her liquor
713-649-6025 Club Onyx
j.c. spa 713-522-9339 privilege 5410 Almeda Rd.
3113 Bering Dr 713-807-0054
2900 Hillcroft 821 FM 1960 W 6430 Westheimer Rd
713-785-0444 713-364-1220 www.cardsbyharris.com
713-339-3303 281-397-0731
Cover girls Rick’s North
mayflowers 4303 Hwy 6 N.
10310 West Little York 410 N. Sam Houston Prwy
9331 Gulf Freeway 281-463-6234
713-937-7772 281-999-7891
713-947-0766 1629 Hwy 249
Diamond Club - Richmond The Ritz houston
Moon Spa 281-897-9246
3136 Richmond Ave. 10520 Gulf Frwy
5114 1960 West 18165 Gulf Frwy
713-528-8116 713-944-6445
281-587-0883 281-486-1000

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 Your Phone & Naked Pics
Adult Quest
Houston
5722 Fairdale Lane
Houston, Texas 77057

Office: This month we turn our column over to a female friend of gross. (B) How the hell do you guys know which hoo-haa
ours from Phoenix, who owns a great little Sports bar and belongs to whom? I know you know because you tell me,
713-785-8684
is a very attractive woman, but to most of her customers “oh, that’s so-an-so... that’s so-an-so…” Yeah, thanks a
Ad Sales: she is like one of the guys as most of her friends are guys! lot, cause now I can never look at so-an-so again. Case
281-780-1758 From our friend AJ... and point, lovely girl, great personality, let’s just call her
“Julie” since I don’t know anyone named Julie. My friend
Owned by Now just because I have an honorary Man Card and all my shows me several pictures Julie sent him, I throw up a little
friends are guys does not mean I like everything you guys in my mouth and he’s just laughing his ass off, the rest
Gray Entertainment Service, LLC
like, (I do not feel the need to put hot sauce on every- of the guys are like “AJ, that’s badass… Check this out...
thing… NASCAR? yawn... Scarface?... Puleazzz, I will Dude, she’s a freak and THERE’S LIKE 10 MORE”.
Publisher turn in my Man Card right now) but I digress. Anyway,
Walter “Hot Shot” Gray I have a healthy respect for the female body as much as I’m in a corner rubbing my eyes with alcohol trying to
anyone, and trust me, hanging around with seven guys erase the picture from my head. Now we are talking about
Editor means we are somehow always inspecting the female the va-jay-jay shot, but there was a little more involved
bodies within a 10 ft radius of us and I even understand (cough, hack, gag...) the point being: I NEVER WOULD
Mitch Murphy that men are very visual, so I guess pornographic pictures HAVE KNOWN WHO IT WAS BECAUSE HER FACE
are gonna be right up the visual alley (no pun intended). WASN’T IN THE PICTURE! Now when I see Julie I don’t
Advertising Sales I get it folks, I get it, and with the creation of Man’s Best even see her lovely face, all I see is her va-jay-jay burned
Mitch Murphy Friend, the phone with a camera, I get to see every picture into my brain. Now, I gotta tell ya, they all look the same
a women sends to my friends in her bathroom, with her to me. As far as I’m concerned, we all kinda have the same
pouty duck lips in her panties… I get it… Swear to God, plumbing down there right? WRONG!
Art & Design Director
it’s like looking at baby pictures, you know when your
Heath Stillwell friends show you pictures of their kids, they might be the I mentioned this to the group: “Don’t they all look the
ugliest, homeliest kids you’ve ever seen, but can you say same?” Wow! They were horrified that anyone could be so
Contributing Writers that? NOOOOOO! You are forced to “ohhhh” and “ahhhh” stupid. It was a cumulative gasp, like I had thrown a per-
Dave Cummings about how darling they are - the naked girl shot is the same fectly good Rib-eye on the ground. It was a group “HELL
for me, “AJ, check it out, she’s hot!” NO!!!” Then it was on, instead of just explaining to me the
Art Koch
differences they simply all whipped out their phones and
Paul Allen Wow…hmm… Isn’t that the 57th picture in your phone of showed me.
Jeffery Greco a girl in her panties in front of a mirror? I wonder if they
Misha Moré are all standing in front of the same mirror, possibly with “See this? Too much skin. This should be tucked in like
instructions on the mirror. (1) Panties only, preferably a this one… See this here?... Almost perfect… This
G-string, hook a thumb through it and pull slightly one? The worst… Emotionally scarring?
Distributors
down. (2) Make a pouty duck face, somehow men Yes. Informative and educational? Yeah,
Gray Entertainment Service, Inc. find this very seductive. (3) Lean in, pushing kinda. Life is all about learning, right?
boobs together. (4) Remove embarrassing Keep it moving, otherwise it just becomes
things off counter (ie tampons, dandruff sham- stagnant. It can’t always be about intel-
poo). (4) Make sure these instructions are NOT lectual stimulation, it’s about everything
in the picture. (5) Dim lights and take picture. and what have I learned? What have
I really taken away from these
Yep, hate to tell ya ladies, but if you’ve ever informative conversations with
sent a man a picture like this we’ve ALL seen my friends?
it. ALL, as in everyone in the effin’ world. I get
this, I really do, but lets talk about the thing (A) Women are stupid if they
I do not get. Never understood it, never will, think any picture they send to
Quest is published monthly. The Publisher assumes no financial responsibil- let’s talk about the straight on vagina shot. Yep, a man is sacred… Period.
ity for errors in ads beyond the cost of the space occupied by the error. A
correction will be printed in the case of an error.
The Publisher is not liable for any slandering of an individual, business or
the proverbial va-jay-jay shot, nothing else in
group. We mean no malice or criticism at any time.
Advertisers agree to hold publishers harmless for failure to produce any issue
the picture, just a up close a personal snapshot (B) According to the lecture,
as scheduled due to reasons beyond the Publishers control. Publisher is not
liable for any promised or lack of fulfillment from advertisers. All advertisers of her hoo-haa. Folks, I gotta tell ya, a couple pictures and PowerPoint pre-
weeks ago I got to see more straight on vagina sentation, I think I may have a
are responsible for the content of their ads, and Publisher is held harmless from
all suits, claims or loss of expenses. This includes, but is not limited to, suits
for libel, plagiarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of person’s
name or photograph. Publisher is not liable for advertisers’ coupons in any
way and does not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages.
shots then I would care to see for the rest of my life, perfect hoo-haa!
Due to the active nature of the adult entertainment business, there may be
staff changes after deadline affecting availability of models depicted in ads.
(hello burning retinas) nothing in the picture but folds
All models pictured are 18 years of age or older. Custodian of records is
Mitch Murphy. of flesh. Could someone please explain to me a couple
Quest contains adult material and should not be distributed or sold to minors
under the age of 18. things: (A) How is this sexy? Some of these are straight up

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 As the new Editor of Adult Quest, a lot of people have asked me if I am
going to be writing anything for the magazine. This is my first go at it,
so try not to be too judgmental on my writing skills.

Growing up, my parents were always pushing me to work harder, try

harder, and to be smarter. Sometimes I would try, but often I would
get frustrated and I would ask them why they would push me so hard.
My Mom’s reply would always be the same: she did not want me to
go through the same hardships that she had to go through in her life.
She wanted better for me. You see, for the first half of my childhood,
my mom had to raise me and my brother on her own. She would do
everything she could to put food on the table and make sure we were
always taken care of. But she struggled. She had dropped out of school
at an early age, and times were tough, but she rose above all of the ad-
versities and she did the best she could. And believe me, with me and
my brother, it wasn’t easy. She worked miracles raising us. Now, as I
take a moment and reflect back on my life, I realize what she meant and
why she pushed so hard. I have been blessed enough to not have to go
through what my mom went through.

I have been employed in the adult industry for the last 13 years, and it
never ceases to amaze me, to see how lucky a lot of people are and how
they should take advantage of it and push to have it a lot better than
what their parents had, and to push so that their children can have it
better than them. There is so much money that pours through this busi-
ness, and I see it time and time again, get thrown away on things that
are here today and gone tomorrow. So in the end, there is nothing to
show for all the hard work and effort. Yeah, it is nice to have designer
clothes to wear, trips to take, and cars all pimped out, but keep it in
check. You don’t have to spend every dime you make, the day after you
make it. At some point, you have to realize that time is fleeting and
you won’t always have the opportunity to keep making the money that
you have grown accustomed to having now. Save your money, invest it
properly, and offer yourself and your children a better future.

As the years go by and the seasons change, the one thing I have come
to realize is, there is so much in life that never changes until you are
ready to make the effort to change it yourself. And as much as I say
things can always be worse, now is the time to make them take a turn
for the better.

If you have any comments or suggestions for me, please tell me so

by visiting www.adultquesttv.com and using the “Contact Us” page to
send a letter to the editor, me, Mitch Murphy!

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 wax on, wax off
I arrive at the salon five minutes early. Though I keep before pulling up. The familiar feeling of pain and more sensitive after my waxing, pull against you as
my bikini area pretty smooth with regular waxing ap- release caused me to catch my breath. As she spread you pull out before each thrust. I’m driven over the
pointments, this particular place is new to me. I was more wax I became a little embarrassed. Slightly tipsy, edge and my stomach muscles start to contract, then
really happy with my usual salon, but you’d mentioned I wondered why you were there watching, but oddly my pussy starts to squeeze your cock as I start to cum.
that you had heard great things about this place so I enough, I didn’t mind really. I knew you were into I begin a low moan that starts deep within me, as my
decided to check it out. The receptionist nodded at me kinky and alternative activities. Besides, the alcohol orgasm builds. Before I can squeeze the cum out of
when I approached the desk to check in. It was early made me relax. I closed my eyes again and tried to let your cock, you pull out of me and press it against my
in the morning, and there were only two other ladies go. As more hair was removed, I noticed a change in freshly waxed asshole.
waiting. I gave my name and sat down on the plush the atmosphere. Opening my eyes, I see you standing
chair near the window to wait. before my spread legs. It was a startling sight, and feel- Working with the resistance, you slowly push your way
ing vulnerable didn’t help matters any. in and can feel my pussy still constricting in orgasm.
When I was called, another woman led me down the Pressing your weight against my body you enter my
hall to a small room and instructed me to remove all of As Lydia positioned me to start waxing my labia, I ass slowly, but firmly. I gasp at the sensation, wince in
my clothes (which seemed unusual) and to put on the hear the sound of your zipper and gasp. I could only pain, and moan in pleasure. When every single inch is
robe in the small closet in the corner. There was a chair see you stare at my spread pussy intently as Lydia in me, you press me down until I’m flat on the table.
and a table with champagne in a bucket, and a glass. calmly went about waxing me. As she spread more hot My muscles are constricting and relaxing against you
She opened the bottle, poured a glass and handed it to wax on me, I felt your finger probe my clit and I cried and you hold yourself inside me for a few minutes. Just
me. I took a sip as she left the room and looked around out as the strip was ripped away and my clit got hard. as I get used to being invaded, you slowly withdraw
before putting the glass on the table and taking off my Confused and aroused, I looked at your face full of lust and start pumping into my ass. My tits are pressed into
clothes. The robe, deep rose in color, fell to mid thigh, and felt my pussy gush. You ran your finger up my slit, the table, Lydia is holding my hands, and you’re fuck-
was plush and soft and caressed my skin as I walked spreading my juices as she spread my lips and applied ing my freshly waxed asshole. I can feel your cock
to the chair and sat. I finished sipping my champagne, more wax. Your finger slipped into my pussy as the twitch and my breath is taken away at being ass-fucked
pouring another glass and relaxed into the soft cush- strip was pulled away and I bucked on the table, my by you. I feel you squeeze my cheeks with both hands,
ions on the chair. arms reaching above my head. I could hear you strok- possessing my body.
ing your cock with the other hand, fingering my pussy
A few minutes later the same woman returned and lead then spreading my juices onto the head as they ran out As you pick up rhythm and fuck me like you want to
me to another softly lit room. By now, I was feeling of me and onto the table. break me, I feel your cock start to twitch. Mashing me
slightly tipsy since I had skipped breakfast. She told into the table, you’re so deep inside of me that I can
me to remove my robe, lie down on the cushioned table I look down at my almost bare pussy (I love my little feel the heat of your cum as it pumps into me. I hear
and that Lydia would be with me soon. As I lay back, I soul patch) and the head of your cock glistening in the your ragged breathing as you collapse onto me after
noticed there was a dark leather chair at the foot of the spotlight with my juices. Your strokes are steady and you’re spent. Your cock acts as a plug, keeping your
table and wondered what it was for. I closed my eyes as slow. I hear you tell Lydia to “turn her over” and I feel sperm in my ass. It makes me feel dirty, like a slut
I waited. I must have dozed off because when I opened her hands guiding me onto my stomach. She tells and I like that. When you pull out I feel empty. My
my eyes I felt a little confused as to where I was. I no- me to get on my knees and I do as I’m told. You body feels cold now that you’re standing up, get-
ticed what looked like a spotlight on the ceiling angled spread my ass as she starts smearing wax on ting dressed, as our combined sweat cools and
to the lower half of the table and that I wasn’t alone. I my crack. We both love it when I’m clean and evaporates.
could hear a person that I assumed was Lydia at a small smooth everywhere. As she pulls the last strip
table to my left readying the wax and sticks. It only from my ass, I feel something else dripping As I slowly roll over, still in a daze, the cum
took a few minutes, and before she turned around she into my crack and I try to look back over my starts seeping out of me. Lydia begins to clean
asked, “Are you ready, sir?” which startled me. shoulder. I feel you pull me to the end of the me up as you leave. I am escorted back to
table as you climb up to join me. I can my changing room and left to dress.
Before I could say anything I heard the rustle of feel you rub your cock against my cunt When I exit the building, I see your
clothes and a man clear his throat. “You may start.” slowly, smearing my juices, car is there to take me home. As your
It was you! I gasped and started to sit up to look past torturing me before you enter driver opens the door, I am surprised
my feet and saw you seated in the chair. The room was me in one smooth motion. to see you inside. You kiss me on
darker than before, but the spotlight was on, illuminat- the cheek and hand me a glass of
ing my crotch. I felt exposed and a little silly. I had no Lydia has moved to the champagne and ask me if I liked
idea that you, or anyone, would be watching me get a front of the table and I my appointment. I tell you that
bikini wax! I tried to speak, but Lydia gave me another feel her delicate hands I loved it. “Good,”
flute of champagne and made me take a drink before on my ass, spreading my you answer, “I’ve
taking back the glass, putting a hand on my shoulder, cheeks and holding me already booked us
pushing me back down onto the table. After setting open for you to watch as you for next time.”
down the glass, she grabbed my left leg and pulled it to fuck me slowly and deeply with
the side before spreading warm wax on my inner thigh. steady thrusts. I can feel every inch
of your cock inside me, the head widen-
Soon, I could smell a cigar and see the red tip as you ing my hole as your shaft glides against the
watched Lydia prepare me. She smoothed on the strip walls of my pussy. My lips, which are even

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 Are You Really Informed?
Your attorney in any criminal case has a lawyers, also known as “plea bargain spe-
duty to keep you informed of your case and cialists” or “dump truck attorneys” as they
everything that is going on with your case. are known, you will never know the answers
Before you ever plead guilty to any crimi- to these questions. They cannot spend more
nal offense, your attorney needs to be able than a couple of hours handling your entire
to go over your case with you in detail and case because they didn’t charge enough to
he/she should be able to explain the pros/ do that. Most simply don’t care enough to
cons of accepting any plea bargain, if at do that, and that is why they charged you
all. As a criminal defendant, such a meager amount.
you should completely un- The old adage, “you
derstand the consequences of get what you pay for”
any plea you take. You need could not be truer.
to know if this plea bargain
will result in a permanent The bottom line is
conviction on your record, this: research prospec-
or if your case can later be tive lawyers in detail
expunged. After you plead before you hire them.
guilty it is too late to fix it three months later Meet with them in person and interview
when you realize that the fantastic attorney them. Once you have hired one, make sure
you hired at a great deal for $500.00 did not, they keep you informed before you decide
in fact, do a good job for you. In fact, you to plead guilty or accept any plea bargain.
are now convicted of “X” offense and your You should know exactly what the conse-
By Jeffery L. Greco
criminal history will forever reflect that you quences of any plea bargain will be, or any
of Greco & Associates, PC
have this conviction. set of papers you sign in court will have on
Attorneys At Law your future.
This is precisely why it is next to impos-
Every day I speak with prospective clients sible to handle a criminal case on the first As always, if you or anyone you know
who have no idea they were convicted for or even first several settings. There is a lot is arrested, have them contact me at
a previous criminal offense. Usually I will of investigation that must take place before 713.972.1100.
ask them if they have ever been arrested be- any attorney can adequately advise a client
fore and they will quickly inform me that as to what their full options are. How can I
they have been arrested for “X” crime, but tell a client they should accept some plea
that they were never convicted. I will ask bargain when I do not even know if the
what happened with the case and they will State could have made the
usually tell me that they hired a lawyer and case against them to begin
the case “just went away.” with? If your attorney
does not do an extensive
Upon further inspection of this case, it turns investigation
out that not only did it not “just go away”, and really work
but rather they pled guilty to it, signed plea your case, how
paperwork and now have a permanent con- can you be well
viction on their record. Once informed, advised to take a
many of them are shocked and upset. They certain course of
tell me that the attorney they hired told them action?
to sign some papers and the case would go
away and everything would be ok in the Furthermore, when
end. Clearly that is not the case. you hire one of the cheap

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 Well, the old another; I have a “bashful” bladder. I can have said that for next month’s pool and pizza party
guy (me!) has sex in front of the cameras or in swinger group she wants to be gangbanged orally by pineapple
finally given in rooms with no problem, yet my bladder won’t consumers. She gave excellent head, so I will
and now has a cell phone. I was the lone long- let me urinate if anyone is nearby; and, when probably attend THAT event.
term holdout among a bunch of Hash House brisk walking after drinking coffee and needing
Harrier (Google it?) running club friends try- to pee, it seems like right after I pull my penis Summer seems to be rocketing by. The views
ing not to be pushed into “being tied down” by out and aim at the urinal, someone comes in at the San Diego beaches are fantastic, and I’m
carrying one as part of living in the tech age. which makes my bladder apply the brakes—I not talking about the scenery or the dolphins.
Those who were once part of the initial group, suspect that it relates to my parents telling me So many girls, including some who look barely
and who previously succumbed, subsequently as a five year-old that peeing is a private matter. 18, are wearing exceedingly skimpy bikinis, and
applied nonstop pressure on those of us still re- In Vietnam as a Unit Commander during the showing off their crotch camel toes. The young-
sisting. Now, like them, I can watch porn on my enemy’s Tet Offensive I successfully had to pee er guys have caught onto it and seem almost
iPhone 4S when circumstances allow. As the last quickly in battle or ambushes, but now days my drunk-acting from the eye candy feast that they
one standing, I won a lot of beers from the oth- bladder is bashful and IT’S in command. are exposed to and enjoying. Be aware that we
ers, beers already consumed now.

I gave in so that I would have a phone handy for

emergencies, for family matters, and so that I’d
have GPS capability for my almost daily brisk
exercise walks, and weekly running club jogs.
Last week, I did 41 miles and the previous week
I completed 38 miles. Now, if only some of those
beach area routes didn’t take me past the tempt-
ing bakery shops! I’d change the routes but it
would mean no girl-gawking on the beach board-
walk, something I will never give up.

Speaking of bakery shops and exercise walking,

one of my pet peeves is those hard-to-separate Gee whiz, I should be writing about sex or porn, have generations of perverts in training at San
stacks of coffee cup lids at coffee shops, fast not my petty personal complaints; so, as an apol- Diego beaches to take over from us old fogeys in
food places, and bakeries. Ever notice how cof- ogy, here is some advice for those of you gentle- a few years. Since there are many nearby beach
fee cup lids sometimes defy separation, kind of men who don’t already know this; being a regu- bars, I hope the under 21 folks are using con-
like those vitamin fish oil capsules that stick to- lar consumer of pineapple is a way to possibly doms if they get lucky with the bikini-wearing
gether and make your hands smell after you’ve get your significant other to let you blow your girls who keep them on past sunset; same for the
pried the capsules out of the bottles? I feel sorry load in her mouth. So, for upcoming special over 21 crowd hitting bars hoping to score.
for folks with arthritis in their fingers or hands. events like wedding nights, birthdays, anniversa-
Another gripe is liners in running shorts, or ries, swinger parties or just routine lovemaking, Enjoy the rest of your summer, of course use sun
those pants that cause runners to use spandex I recommend a helping or two of pineapple fruit block religiously, and keep condoms handy in
underwear to ward off chaffing; my bitch here or juice earlier in the day. She might get to like case you score some consensual sex with adult-
is that they all to often bunch up and/or creep it and let you often do it instead of having to age folks if you get lucky. And, please be nice
up into my crotch, which irritates my testicles, endure your load being shot on her face, clothes, to others just to be a considerate human being!
slows down my speed, and causes me to have to hair or other body parts.
almost clandestinely pull them back down so I Dave Cummings
can unclog my crotch and get relief which allows I was at a swinger pool party last weekend where
comfort and a faster pace. Finding a suitable mo- the pineapple “thing” was well known and a cou- (I won’t list all the Internet sites, just Google my name)
ment to do the unclogging in public is akin to ple of ladies ended up recruiting other woman
scratching a testicle itch. for me to show them an example of pineapple
cum-sweetening; I felt sort of “used” but I was
OK, while I’m bitching and whining, here’s “up” for it a number of times. One young lady

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 Bell Ringers
A third student says, “How about this? ‘My dear, please excuse me for a
Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to
line up, nude, in a garden while a nude female model danced before them. be able to introduce to you after dinner.’”
Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that
anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached Sexual Exhaustion
a state of spiritual purity.
A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow’s final
The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow,
proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death.
monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaus-
ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other tion?” and the whole classroom burst into laughter.
bells began to ring.
Disturbing the Harem After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said,
“Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write.”
Three guys were on a
trip to Saudi Arabia. Couple of Dollars
One day, they stumbled
into a harem tent filled A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly
with over 100 beautiful dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for
women. They started get- dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, “If I
ting friendly with all the give you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”
women, when suddenly
the Sheik came in. “No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.

“I am the master of all “Will you use it to gamble?” he inquired.

these women. No one
else can touch them except me. You three men must pay dearly for what “I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.” replied the
you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your bum with an annoyed tone.
profession.” The Sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for
a living. “Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?” he asked.

“I’m a cop”, says the first man. “Are you MAD? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!” yelled the bum.

“Then we will shoot your penis off!”, said the Sheik. He then turned to the The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you this two dollars. Instead,
second man and asked him what he did for a living. I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner home cooked by my
wife.”
“I’m a firemen”, said the second man.
The bum was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing
“Then we will burn your penis off!”, said the sheik. Finally, he asked the that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
last man, “And you, what do you do for a living?”
The man replied, “Hey, man, that’s OK! I just want her to see what a man
And the third man answered, with a sly grin, “I’m a lollipop salesman!” looks like who has given up drinking, gambling, and golf!”

Etiquette

During a good manners and etiquette class the teacher says to her students, Q: What’s the
“If you were courting a well educated young woman from a prominent
family and during a dinner for two and you needed to go to the toilet, what
difference
would you say to her?” between a penis
Mike replies, “Wait a minute, I’m going for a piss.”
and a bonus?
The teacher says, “That would be very rude and improper on your part.”
A: Your wife will
Charlie replies, “I’m sorry, I need to go to the toilet. I’ll be right back.” always blow
The teacher says, “That’s much better, but to mention the word “toilet” dur- your bonus!
ing a meal, is very unpleasant.”

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 The War is Over ing to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank’s president and its officers all
enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000
An elderly Italian man went to Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove
his parish priest and asked if the the Ferrari into the bank’s private underground garage and parked it.
priest would hear his confession.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest
“Of course, my son,” said the of $23.07. The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your
priest. business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out online and found that
“Well, Father, at the beginning you are a distinguished alumni from Mississippi State University, a highly
of World War Two, a beautiful sophisticated investor and multi-millionaire with real estate and financial
woman knocked on my door and interests all over the world... What puzzles us is, why would you bother to
asked me to hide her from the borrow $5,000?”
Germans; I hid her in my attic,
and they never found her.” he The good ‘ole boy re-
began to confess. plied, “Well, where else
in New York City can I
“That’s a wonderful thing, my park my Ferrari for two
son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest. weeks for only $23.07
and still expect it to be
“It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of there when I return?”
the attic with sexual favors,” continued the old man.
Sneaking in Late
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would
have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding There was this guy who
her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and always went out drink-
the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest. ing with his friends.
He would always come
“Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I home very late.
ask a question?”
One night, while he was
“Of course, my son,” said the priest. at the bar he told his friends of his secret for being able to sneak in so late.

The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?” “When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her
down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she’s ever had,
Blowjobs for Money until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash
up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn’t care what time
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the I came home.”
living room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he says.
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes
“I’m going to Nevada. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I fig- home, sneaks into the dark bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she’s
ured that I might as well earn money for what I do for you for free.” ever had, and then goes to wash up.

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down His wife walks into the bathroom while he’s washing up, obviously upset
with his suitcase packed as well. “Where do you think you’re going?” the that he’s home so late.
wife asks. “I’m coming with you... I can’t wait to see how you survive on
$800 a year!!!” “Hey, why aren’t you sleeping?” he asks her.

Bubba Gets A Loan “I was sleeping, but I came in to tell you that we’ve got to sleep on the
couch tonight, because my mother is
His name was Bubba, he was from sleeping in our bedroom.”
Mississippi and he needed a loan, So
he walked into a bank in New York Wife Sleeping Around
City and asked for the loan Officer. He
told the loan officer that he was going A construction worker came home just in
to Paris for an International Redneck time to find his wife in bed with another
Festival for two weeks and needed to man. So he dragged the man down the
borrow $5,000 and that he was not a stairs to the garage and put his pecker
depositor of the bank. in a large vise that was bolted to a work
bench. He secured it tightly and removed
The bank officer told him that the bank the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
would need some form of security for
the loan, so the Redneck handed over The man, terrified, screamed, “Stop!
the keys to a Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. Stop! You’re not going to... to... cut it off, are you???!?”

The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan offi- The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, “Nope. You are. I’m
cer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for hav- just going to set the garage on fire.”

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 MISC. HIRING DANCE IN PARADISE
Come work with us on the U.S. Island
Babe’s Cabaret on Hillcroft is now hir-
ing entertainers and all other positions!
of Guam! Free round trip, housing Call us at 713-781-3675 for details!
provided! Call Chris at 671-649-7409 or Babe’s Cabaret North is also hiring
email [email protected] upscale entertainers and waitresses!
•••••••••••••••••••••• Call us at 832-678-4980 to schedule an
NOW HIRING interview now!
OUTCALL PROVIDERS!
Girls of all sizes and nationalities are
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minded. CALL NOW 832-589-0139
••••••••••••••••••••••
OUTSTANDING
Outcall Models Need­ed Please call today
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work­ing less hours.
••••••••••••••••••••••
WE NEEDS GIRLS!
Would you like to be a print model and
earn extra $$$$? Be seen throughout
Texas, Florida & coast to coast by agents,
video com­pa­nies, clubs, etc? We need
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NOW HIRING! Studio 5901 Relax-
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quality models of all nationalities! Call us
at 713-706-4105 for more details!

- CLUBS -
ATTENTION!
The all new Vegas Men’s Club is now
hiring waitstaff and entertainers. Please
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ask for Eric or Jerry or stop by at their
1925 Highway 6 South location and
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Sunset Strip one of Houston’s
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