BAT BOY

THE MUSICAL

STORY & BOOK BY

KEYTHE FARLEY & BRIAN
FLEMMING

MUSIC & LYRICS BY

LAURENCE O'KEEFE

SHOW PERUSAL

03/11/21
 BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL
Copyright © 2002, Keythe Farley, Brian Flemming, Laurence O’Keefe

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL is subject to
payment of a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries
covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British
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Author’s agent in writing.

The English language stock and amateur stage performance rights in the United States, its territories, possessions and
Canada for BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL are controlled exclusively by DRAMATISTS PLAY SERVICE, INC., 440 Park
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Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to ICM Partners, 65 East 55th Street, 16th Floor, New York, NY
10022. Attn: Ross Weiner.

SPECIAL NOTE
Anyone receiving permission to produce BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL is required to give credit to the Authors as sole and
exclusive Authors of the Play on the title page of all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play
and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting
the Play and/or a production thereof. The names of the Authors must appear on separate lines, in which no other names
appear, immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to 50% of the size of the largest, most prominent letter
used for the title of the Play. No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded
the Authors. In addition, the credit for the Weekly World News must appear on a separate line, in which no other name
appears, immediately beneath and in size of type equal to the names of the Authors. The billing must appear as follows:

BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL

Story and Book by

Keythe Farley and Brian Flemming

Music and Lyrics by

Laurence O’Keefe

Licensed Under Agreement with Weekly World News

The following acknowledgments must appear on the title page in all programs distributed in connection with
performances of the Play in size of type equal to 25% of the size of the largest, most prominent letter used for the title of
the Play:
 Original New York production produced by Nancy Nagel Gibbs, Riot Entertainment,
Robyn Goodman, Michael Alden, Jean Doumanian and The Producing Office.

Original cast recording available on RCA/Victor.

In addition, the following acknowledgments must appear in all programs distributed in

connection with performances of the Play:

Bat Boy: The Musical was developed in New York City at The Directors Company,
Michael Parva, Artistic/Producing Director.

Bat Boy: The Musical had its initial production at The Actors’ Gang
in Los Angeles, CA.

The authors wish to acknowledge the generous support provided

through the Richard Rodgers Development Award and the Richard Rodgers Production
Award. The Richard Rodgers Awards are administered by
the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
 The Rules in Brief
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Broadway Licensing, and without paying the required royalty.
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any dialogue, cut any music, or alter any objectionable language, unless
explicitly authorized by Broadway Licensing.
4) DO provide the required credit to the author(s) and the required attribution
to Broadway Licensing in all programs and promotional literature
associated with any performance of this Play.
For more details on these and other rules, see the opposite page.

Copyright Basics
This Play is protected by United States and international copyright law. These
laws ensure that authors are rewarded for creating new and vital dramatic
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THE BOTTOM LINE: If you break copyright law, you are robbing a play-
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when in doubt, ask us.

toll-free phone: 1-866-NEW-PLAY

email: [email protected]
website: www.broadwaylicensing.com
 Bat Boy: The Musical
Vocal Ranges

SHELLEY MEREDITH SHERIFF

nœ nœ nœ
& & V #œ
#œ nœ

bœ #œ
PARKER

nœ
RICK BAT BOY

V nœ V V
bœ bœ

bœ
MRS. TAYLOR REVEREND HIGHTOWER PAN

nœ nœ
V nœ V bœ V bœ
 AUTHORS’ NOTE

There are many ways to stage this show. A cast of ten is possible (see the New York
credits), as is a cast of one hundred and ten. A spare set is fine; an elaborate set can work,
too. Intense blood effects, no blood at all — it’s up to your taste and your budget.

However, there is only one sure way to play this material — truthfully. BAT BOY is not a
satire or a parody of musicals, though it presents skewed versions of familiar themes. And
while BAT BOY is certainly meant to be enormous fun for the audience, to make that fun
happen the artists interpreting the work must approach it with the same dedication and
commitment they would apply to any tragedy. We have seen some interpretations of BAT
BOY fail utterly because the interpreters chose to have too much of their own fun with it,
or took a “metatheatrical” approach — a term we don’t fully understand but apparently
means the actors stand outside the material and comment on it — or tried to cram in too
many of their own jokes, pratfalls and other silliness.

We’ve learned this the hard way: There is enough within this script and score to keep you
busy. Adding too many extra bits or “metatheatrics” — again, we don’t really know what
that is, but you shouldn’t do it — will undermine your performance and diminish the
audience’s enjoyment of the play.

These characters do not know they’re funny. Their desires and fears are a matter of life or
death to them. Please, never nudge the audience in the ribs or wink at them; the audience
prefers to decide for themselves whether to laugh or cry. If you play these characters
sincerely and truthfully and to the hilt, you’ll get plenty of laughs, and you’ll get much
more.

Keythe Farley
Brian Flemming
Laurence O’Keefe
 Bat Boy: The Musical
Scenes, Characters, Musical Numbers, and Pages

Act I
Scene 1................................................................................................................................1
Bat Boy, Rick, Ruthie, Ron, Sheriff, Dillon, Clem, Bud, Lorraine, Daisy,
Maggie

#1 Overture (Underscore)
#1A The Cave (Underscore)
#2 Hold Me, Bat Boy (Ensemble)

Scene 2..............................................................................................................................12
Shelley, Meredith, Sheriff

#2A Living Room Cue (Underscore)

#3 Christian Charity (Sheriff, Shelley, Meredith)

Scene 3..............................................................................................................................19
Shelley, Meredith, Rick, Bat Boy

#4 Ugly Boy (Shelley)

#5 Whatcha Wanna Do? (Rick, Shelley)
#6 A Home For You (Meredith, Bat Boy)

Scene 4..............................................................................................................................32
Maggie, Daisy, Lorraine, Crowd, Bud, Ned, Roy

#7 Another Dead Cow (Bud, Roy, Ned, Maggie, Lorraine)

Scene 5..............................................................................................................................38
Parker, Meredith

#8 Dance With Me, Darling (Parker, Ensemble)

Scene 6..............................................................................................................................45
Mrs. Taylor, Sheriff, Ruthie, Rick, Ron, Doctor

#9 Mrs. Taylor’s Lullaby (Mrs. Taylor, Rick, Ron)

Scene 7.............................................................................................................................48
Meredith, Bat Boy, Shelley, Parker

#10 Show You A Thing Or Two (Meredith, Bat Boy, Shelley, Parker,
Ensemble)

Scene 8.............................................................................................................................57
Crowd, Maggie, Sheriff, Parker, Bud, Roy

#11 Christian Charity – Reprise (Sheriff, Lorraine, Maggie, Roy, Ned,

Townsfolk)
#12 May I Have This Dance? (Underscore)

Scene 9.............................................................................................................................61
Shelley, Bat Boy, Parker, Meredith, Sheriff, Ned, Maggie, Roy, Lorraine, Ruthie

#13 A Home For You – Reprise (Bat Boy)

#14 Parker’s Epiphany (Parker)
#15 Comfort And Joy (Parker, Meredith, Shelley, Sheriff, Ensemble)
#15A Comfort And Joy - Part 2 (Bat Boy, Ensemble, Townsfolk, Sheriff,
Parker, Meredith, Shelley)

ACT II
Scene 1..............................................................................................................................80
Bat Boy, Reverend Hightower, Congregation, Parker, Meredith, Bud, Rick, Mrs.
Taylor, Ron, Ned, Sheriff, Shelley, Daisy, Townsfolk

#16 A Joyful Noise (Reverend Hightower, Townsfolk)

#16A Come On Down! (Underscore)
#17 Let Me Walk Among You (Bat Boy)
#18 A Joyful Noise – Reprise (Bat Boy, Townsfolk, Rev. Hightower)
#18A A Joyful Noise – Playoff (Underscore)
#19 All Hell Breaks Loose (Rick, Shelley)
#20 Stop The Bat Boy! (Parker, Townsfolk)

Scene 2……......................................................................................................................93
Meredith, Shelley

#21 Three-Bedroom House (Meredith, Shelley)

Scene 3..............................................................................................................................98
Shelley, Bat Boy

#21A Babe In The Woods (Underscore)

#22 Children, Children (Pan, Ensemble)

Scene 4............................................................................................................................102
Ron, Daisy, Sheriff, Mrs. Taylor, Mr. Dillon, Parker, Bud, Maggie, Crowd

#22A Burn, You Freak, Burn (Underscore)

#23 More Blood/Kill The Bat Boy! (Parker, Townsfolk)

Scene 5............................................................................................................................107
Shelley, Bat Boy, Meredith

#24 Inside Your Heart (Shelley, Bat Boy)

#25 Is All That You Taught Me A Lie? (Underscore)
#26 Apology To A Cow (Bat Boy, Ensemble)

Scene 6...........................................................................................................................113
Ned, Roy, Bat Boy, Parker, Sheriff, Crowd, Meredith, Shelley, Father, Mother,
Young Meredith, Doctor #2, Bud, Lorraine, Maggie, Institute Man

#26 Apology To A Cow (cont’d) (Bat Boy, Ensemble)

#26A Hello, Father (Underscore)
#27 Revelations (Meredith, Parker, Young Meredith, Ensemble)
#28 Finale: I Imagine You’re Upset (Bat Boy, Sheriff, Ensemble, Meredith,
Shelley, Parker)
#28A Finale: I Am Not A Bat Boy (Underscore)
#29 Finale: Hold Me Bay Boy – Reprise (Shelley, Maggie, Rick, Bud, Ned,
Institute Man, Sheriff, Ron, Ruthie, Meredith, Parker, Townsfolk)
#30 Bows (Underscore)
BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL was first produced by Mitch Watson at the Actors’ Gang El
Centro Theater in Los Angeles, California, on October 31, 1997. It was directed by Keythe
Farley; the choreography was by Derick LaSalla; the set design was by Evan Bartoletti; the
lighting design was by David F. Hahn; the sound design was by Adam Philius; the
costume design was by Jennifer K. Diebold; the make-up and special effects were by David
Rockello; and the production stage manager was Robin Veith. The cast was as follows:

BAT BOY ......................................................................................................................... Deven May

MEREDITH PARKER ........................................................................................... Kaitlin Hopkins
DR. THOMAS PARKER ............................................................................................... Chris Wells
SHELLEY PARKER ......................................................................................................... Ann Closs
SHERIFF REYNOLDS ...................................................................................................... Don Luce
RICK TAYLOR .............................................................................................................. Gary Kelley
RON TAYLOR, PAN .................................................................................. John Michael Morgan
RANDI TAYLOR, LORRAINE ........................................................................... Julie Ann Taylor
MAGGIE ................................................................................................................ Elizabeth Tobias
NED .................................................................................................................................... Ken Elliot
DAISY ...................................................................................................................... Greta Rose Bart
BUD ............................................................................................................................ Ray Hesselink

BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL was produced in New York by Nancy Nagel Gibbs, Riot
Entertainment, Robyn Goodman, Michael Alden, Jean Doumanian and The Producing
Office at the Union Square Theater on March 21, 2001. It was directed by Scott Schwartz;
the musical director was Alex Lacamoire; the musical staging was by Christopher Gatelli;
the set design was by Richard Hoover and Bryan Johnson; the lighting design was by
Howell Binkley; the sound was by Sunil Rajan; the costume design was by Fabio Toblini;
the hair and makeup were by Ann Closs-Farley; and the production stage manager was
Renee Lutz. The cast was as follows:

BAT BOY ......................................................................................................................... Deven May

MEREDITH PARKER ........................................................................................... Kaitlin Hopkins
DR. THOMAS PARKER .......................................................................................... Sean McCourt
SHELLEY PARKER ..................................................................................................... Kerry Butler
SHERIFF REYNOLDS .............................................................................................. Richard Pruitt
RICK TAYLOR, LORRAINE, DOCTOR, MR. DILLON ......................................... Doug Storm
RON TAYLOR, MAGGIE, CLEM ............................................................................... Kathy Brier
RUTHIE TAYLOR, NED ..................................................................................... Daria Hardeman
MRS. TAYLOR, ROY,
REV. BILLY HIGHTOWER, INSTITUTE MAN ................................... Trent Armand Kendall
BUD, DAISY, PAN ............................................................................................................ Jim Price
 CHARACTERS

BAT BOY
MEREDITH PARKER, wife
DR. THOMAS PARKER, husband
SHELLEY PARKER, their daughter

The Townsfolk:
SHERIFF REYNOLDS
RICK, RON AND RUTHIE TAYLOR, three teenage spelunkers
MRS. TAYLOR, their mother
LORRAINE, a rancher’s wife
MAGGIE, senior representative, Hope Falls Town Council
DAISY, a schoolteacher
MR. DILLON, a rancher
BUD, a rancher
NED, a rancher
ROY, a townsman
CLEM, a townsman
REVEREND BILLY HIGHTOWER
PAN
VARIOUS ANIMALS
YOUNG MEREDITH
MEREDITH’S FATHER
MEREDITH’S MOTHER
A DOCTOR
INSTITUTE MAN

CHORUS: singers/dancers, additional townsfolk

PLACE
The setting is Hope Falls, West Virginia. Population 500.

TIME
The present.
 BAT BOY
THE MUSICAL

#1 OVERTURE

ACT ONE

al
SCENE 1

s
ru
(A cave. In darkness, the sound of running water. Out of the darkness
comes the voice of BAT BOY, singing.)

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BAT BOY
(Offstage.)

N
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo.

ng

O
(His melodious nonsense syllables reverberate off each other. He
i
harmonizes with his own echoed voice. Then, from above: Three
ns

TI
spotlights pierce the darkness. The spotlights come from the miner’s
helmets of RICK, RON and RUTHIE, who descend into the cave on

C
ce

rappelling ropes. All three are awestruck. They pan their spotlights
across the audience.)
U
Li

D
RICK
Whoa … Look at this.
O
ay

RUTHIE
PR

We’ve never been this deep before.

dw

RON
What’s that smell?
oa

R
FO

RICK
Br

I don’t know. But this cave rocks.

(RUTHIE and RON. Fully.)

T

RON
O

Are we gonna run out of rope?

N

RICK
(Landing on stage.)
Nope. We have got to celebrate going deeper than any human being has gone before.

(RUTHIE and RICK land, too.)

1
 RUTHIE
Where are we, Rick?

RICK
That was a major vertical. This could be virgin territory.

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RON
C-c-can we go back up now?

s
ru
RUTHIE
(Looking over downstage edge.)

Pe
It keeps going. Straight down!

RICK
This is a total scoop.

N
ng

O
RUTHIE
All right, who’s packing? i
ns

TI
RICK

C
Reading my mind.
ce

#1A THE CAVE U

Li

D
(RICK produces a small, serviceable bong. RICK and RUTHIE turn
O
ay

off their lights and spark up while RON explores his surroundings.
The light on his head and the occasional sparking of the lighter are the
PR

only lights on stage. Suddenly Ron’s helmet-light crosses the face of

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BAT BOY. BAT BOY screeches.)

RON
oa

(Turning away.)
FO

Sweet Jesus!
Br

RICK
What?
T

RON
O

(Turning light back again to a blank cave wall.)

N

The cave monster!! The cave monster!!

RICK
Shut up, Ron.

2
 RON
I saw him, Rick! I swear.

RUTHIE
There’s no such thing as a cave monster, Ron.

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RICK
(Approaching RON, mocking him.)

s
Ooh! It’s the cave monster, Ron! The scary caaaave monster!

ru
(RON finds BAT BOY again with his light and points hysterically;

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finally, RICK looks.)

Whoa!

N
ng
(RICK and RUTHIE turn their lights back on. All three spelunkers

O
scramble. The helmet-lights flash around everywhere.)
i
ns

TI
RUTHIE
What?

C
ce

RICK
It was over there. But then I turned back and …
U
Li

D
RUTHIE
O
ay

Ahhhh! Over here!

PR

(BAT BOY scurries about the stage and the spelunkers chase after
dw

him. Occasionally lights cross Bat Boy’s body or the back of his head,
but the audience never sees Bat Boy’s face. Eventually, the spelunkers
have BAT BOY caught in the glare of their helmet-lights. His back is
oa

to the audience and he is frozen with fear. He slowly backs up toward

the downstage ledge. He is naked.)
FO
Br

RON
What is it?
T

RUTHIE
O

It’s some deformed kid.

N

RICK
It’s a Bat Boy. It’s okay, little guy. I’m Rick Taylor. This is my brother Ron. And this is my
sister Ruthie.

3
 RUTHIE
Can you say “Ruthie”?

RON
Shut up, Ruthie!

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RICK
We are totally keeping this thing.

s
ru
RON
We won’t hurt you.

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RICK
Take my hand. Come on.

N
ng
RON

O
Don’t be afraid. It looks scared.
i
ns

TI
RUTHIE
See if it likes Fritos.

C
ce

(Produces some and offers them to BAT BOY.)

U
Li

Fritos. See? Fritos.

D
O
ay

(BAT BOY attacks RUTHIE.)

PR

AAAAAHHHHHH!
dw

(RON and RICK jump on top of BAT BOY and pummel him.)
oa

I’m bit! I’m bit!

FO

RON
Br

Ruthie’s bit! Ruthie’s bit!

RICK
T

Get him, Ron!

O

RON
N

I’m getting him!

(RON pulls BAT BOY off of RUTHIE and pins him to the ground.)

4
 RUTHIE
Oh, mama! I don’t wanna die!

RICK
You freakin’ animal!

al
(RICK leaps up and stomps BAT BOY on the head.)

s
#2 HOLD ME, BAT BOY

ru
MAN #1

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IN A CAVE MANY MILES TO THE SOUTH
LIVES A BOY BORN WITH FANGS IN HIS
MOUTH

N
SLEEPING UNTIL THE FADING LIGHT

ng
FLYING THROUGH BLOODY DREAMS;

O
WHEN HE AWAKES THE SUMMER NIGHT
i
IS FILLED WITH SCREAMS
ns

TI
WOMAN #1/WOMAN #2 ENSEMBLE

C
ce

YOU HAVE HEARD HE OOO

WAS BORN IN THE BOGS
THAT HE FEEDS ON THE U OOO
OOO
Li

D
FLIES AND THE FROGS OOO
O
ay

MAN #2
YOU CALL HIM “BEAST” OOO
PR

OR “CHANGELING”;
dw

MAN #3
OR “DEMON CHIMPANZEE”;
oa

R
FO

MAN #4
Br

BUT WE WILL PROVE HE’S NO SUCH THING:

FOUR MEN/TWO WOMEN

T

HE’S MUCH LIKE ME!

O

(MAN #1, WOMAN #3 and WOMAN #4 join in.)

N

ALL NINE
AND ME!
OH
HOLD ME, BAT BOY
TOUCH ME, BAT BOY

5
 ALL NINE (CONT’D)
HELP ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
LOVE ME, BAT BOY
SAVE ME, BAT BOY
MAKE IT ALL TURN OUT ALL RIGHT!

al
MAN #2
HE WAS DRAGGED FROM HIS HOME

s
AND THROWN DOWN

ru
AT THE EDGE OF A COAL MINING TOWN

Pe
MAN #5
THEY STRIPPED HIM OF HIS DIGNITY

MAN #1

N
ng
THEY BEAT HIM LIKE A GONG

O
iMAN #3
ns

TI
AND HE WAS KICKED REPEATEDLY

C
ALL NINE
ce

AND THAT WAS WRONG!

SO WRONG!
U
Li

D
ALL BUT WOMAN #3 WOMAN #3
O
ay

OH, HOLD THE BAT BOY WON’T YOU HOLD HIM!

TOUCH THE BAT BOY WON’T YOU TOUCH
PR

HIM!
dw

BRING HIM TO THE LIGHT …

OH, BRING HIM TO THE
LIGHT!
oa

LOVE THE BAT BOY WON’T YOU LOVE HIM!

SAVE THE BAT BOY SOMEBODY SAVE HIM!
FO
Br

ALL NINE
MAKE IT ALL TURN OUT ALL RIGHT!
T

(RICK and RON wheel on a wagon which carries a wriggling burlap

O

sack with a hand sticking out of the top.)

N

SHERIFF
You say it’s the Bat Boy?

RICK
Yeah! It bit Ruthie.

6
 RON
She’s in the hospital.

RICK
It’s huge.

al
RON
And it’s fast.

s
ru
RICK
And it hates Fritos. You gotta lock it up, Sheriff.

Pe
RON
And make it stand trial!

N
ng
(Kicks the bag. BAT BOY squeals.)

O
i SHERIFF
ns

TI
Now boys! You go on and look after your sister, I’ll take care of this Bat Boy.

C
MEN #2 & #3/WOMEN #1, #2 & #3
ce

WOULD NO ONE DEFEND HIM

PROTECT HIM, BEFRIEND HIM
U
Li

WOULD NONE HEAR HIS CRY?

D
O
ay

WOMAN #3
YEAH, WOULD NONE HEAR HIS CRY, Y’ALL?
PR
dw

(SHERIFF leads the wagon past BUD, CLEM and MR. DILLON.
The men get closer and closer to the bag during the scene.)
oa

DILLON
You say you got the Bat Boy in that bag?
FO
Br

CLEM
Dang!
T

BUD
O

Whatcha gonna do with it, Sheriff?

N

SHERIFF
I figure I’ll just take it up to Dr. Parker.

CLEM
I’ll bet that’s one powerful critter.

7
 BUD
I knew those stories were true.

DILLON
You think Dr. Parker can handle a Bat Boy?

al
SHERIFF
It can’t be that difficult. The Taylor kids managed to capture him all by themselves.

s
ru
BUD
But they’re all hopped up on dope. That’s like fighting six people!

Pe
SHERIFF
Dr. Parker’s a good veterinarian, I’m sure he’ll just put it down with no trouble.

N
ng
(Bag wriggles.)

O
i ALL EXCEPT SHERIFF
ns

TI
Aaaah! Sweet wounded Jesus!

C
SHERIFF
ce

So long, boys.
U
Li

MEN #2 & #3/WOMEN #1, #2 & #3

D
OR WOULD THEY DETEST HIM
O
ay

ARREST HIM, MOLEST HIM?

PR

WOMEN #1 & #2
dw

OR JUST LET HIM DIE?

MEN #2 & #3/WOMEN #1, #2 & #3

oa

YOU CAN’T JUST STAND BY!

FO

(MAGGIE, LORRAINE and DAISY. SHERIFF walks by with

Br

wagon.)

LORRAINE
T

You say you got the Bat Boy in that bag?

O

DAISY
N

What are you going to do with it?

SHERIFF
I’m headed to Dr. Parker’s.

8
 LORRAINE
He’s gonna put it down, right?

MAGGIE
That seems like a waste of resources. He might be useful around town.

al
LORRAINE
Maybe we could train him to rustle up the cows — like a sheepdog.

s
ru
DAISY
Do we own it?

Pe
MAGGIE
Sure we do. You know, we could put him on display and charge admission.

N
ng
LORRAINE

O
People would pay good money to see a Bat Boy. We could be the next Branson.
i
ns

TI
DAISY
Can we see it?

C
ce

LORRAINE
Let’s have a little peek, Sheriff.
U
Li

D
SHERIFF
O
ay

All right.
PR

(Opens bag a little; ladies peek.)

dw

ALL EXCEPT SHERIFF

Aaah! Sweet wounded Jesus!
oa

SHERIFF
FO

Good day, ladies.

Br

WOMAN #4
YOU CAN’T LET HIM DIE!
T
O

ALL NINE
YOU CAN’T JUST STAND BY!
N

MAN #5 ENSEMBLE
HE HAS SUFFERED, AND NOW IT’S YOUR TURN AHH AHH
YOU ARE HERE NOT TO LAUGH, BUT TO LEARN AHH AHH

9
 WOMAN #4
LISTEN TO HIS UNGODLY SHRIEK
WATCH WHAT WE PUT HIM THROUGH

WOMAN #4/MAN #5
HEED THE TALE OF A FILTHY FREAK —

al
ALL NINE

s
WHO’S JUST LIKE YOU!

ru
… AND YOU!
AND YOU!

Pe
OH …

2 MEN/2 WOMEN 3 MEN/2 WOMEN

HOLD ME BAT BOY

N
ng
HOLD ME BAT BOY

O
TOUCH ME BAT BOY
i TOUCH ME BAT BOY
ns

TI
WON’T YOU HELP ME
THROUGH THE NIGHT

C
MAKE IT ALL TURN OUT MAKE IT ALL TURN OUT
ce

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

LOVE ME BAT BOY
U
Li

LOVE ME BAT BOY

D
SAVE ME BAT BOY
O
ay

SAVE ME BAT BOY

I’VE BEEN CALLING
PR

OUT YOUR NAME

dw

COME AND TAKE AWAY COME AND TAKE AWAY

MY SHAME! MY SHAME!
oa

HOLD ME BAT BOY

HOLD ME BAT BOY
FO

TOUCH ME BAT BOY

Br

TOUCH ME BAT BOY

YOU HEAR ME CRY
WHEN NO ONE HEARS
T

WON’T YOU LICK AWAY WON’T YOU LICK AWAY

O

MY TEARS; MY TEARS;
LOVE ME BAT BOY
N

LOVE ME BAT BOY

SAVE ME BAT BOY
SAVE ME BAT BOY
SINK YOUR FANGS
INTO MY SOUL

10
 2 MEN/2 WOMEN
ONLY YOU CAN
MAKE ME
WHOLE!

ALL

al
HOLD ME BAT BOY
TOUCH ME BAT BOY

s
HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT!

ru
Pe

N
ng

O
i
ns

TI
C
ce

U
Li

D
O
ay

PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

11
 SCENE 2

(Parker home — living room. MEREDITH and SHELLEY clean the

living room.)

#2A LIVING ROOM CUE

al
SHELLEY

s
Can I call Rick again?

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
That doesn’t make sense, honey. You just left him a message an hour ago.

SHELLEY

N
I know. But I want to find out if he’s coming.

ng

O
i MEREDITH
He’ll think about you more if he talks to you less.
ns

TI
SHELLEY

C
ce

Mom, Rick already knows that I like him.

MEREDITH U
Li

D
Don’t talk like a slut, Shelley.
O
ay

SHELLEY
Sorry.
PR
dw

MEREDITH
(Crosses to SHELLEY; puts her arm around her.)
Courting is a slippery slope, dear, and it’s a young lady’s job to provide the friction. When
oa

I was your age a young lady didn’t even call a boy, especially if she wanted to. If Rick is
FO

worthy of you, he’ll know that he needs to call you back. Clean the railing.
Br

SHELLEY
But it’s not dirty.
T

MEREDITH
O

You can’t wait until it gets dirty. You have to look out for these boys, Shelley. Most of
N

them are so out of control with their … hormones that they really aren’t in charge of their
actions. But you don’t suffer from their hormonal problems, so you’ll bear the
responsibility if something … happens.

SHELLEY
Like what?

12
 MEREDITH
The wages of sin is death, sweetheart, that’s all I’m saying.

(There is an authoritative knock at the door, accompanied by the

sounds of a commotion.)

al
SHERIFF
(Offstage.)

s
It’s Sheriff Reynolds, Meredith!

ru
(MEREDITH opens the door. Immediately, the SHERIFF enters,

Pe
holding onto BAT BOY, who is hooded and handcuffed and struggles
nonstop to get away from the SHERIFF. Bat Boy’s hood has written
on it: “Bites.”)

N
ng
#3 CHRISTIAN CHARITY

O
i SHERIFF
ns

TI
EVENING FOLKS!

C
ce

SHELLEY
WHATCHA GOT?
U
Li

D
SHERIFF
DOCTOR HOME?
O
ay

MEREDITH
PR

NO, HE’S NOT

dw

SHERIFF
WHEN’S HE BACK?
oa

R
FO

MEREDITH
Br

AN HOUR OR SO

SHELLEY
T

THE HECK IS THAT?

O

SHERIFF
N

WELL, I DON’T KNOW

MEREDITH
WHAT IN THE WORLD?

13
 SHELLEY
WHERE DID YOU FIND?

MEREDITH
WHAT IS HE DOING?

al
SHELLEY
HE’S OUT OF HIS MIND!

s
ru
MEREDITH
IS HE IN PAIN?

Pe
SHELLEY
IS HE INSANE?

N
ng
SHERIFF

O
MAYBE AND POSSIBLY;
LET ME EXPLAIN: i
ns

TI
(BAT BOY has broken away from the SHERIFF and is running

C
aimlessly about the room. The SHERIFF pistol-whips BAT BOY,
ce

knocking him out.)

U
Li

MEREDITH/SHELLEY
D
No!
O
ay

SHERIFF
PR

Aw, heck. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve done that. But that boy was hoppin’ like a scalded dog.
dw

MEREDITH
Boy?
oa

SHERIFF
FO

Maybe. Frankly, that’s why I’m here. I figure maybe we need a veterinarian to sort this
Br

out. I’m hoping Dr. Parker will know what to do.

SHERIFF
T

I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO TAKE HIM

O

SHELLEY
N

(Off Bat Boy’s twitch.)

MOM!

MEREDITH
SHELLEY, QUIET!

14
 SHERIFF
CAN’T GO TO JAIL, HE’S UNDERAGE

SHELLEY
(Off another twitch.)
MOM!

al
MEREDITH

s
SHELLEY, QUIET!

ru
SHERIFF

Pe
THE FOLKS UP AT THE MED SCHOOL
BET THEY’D CARVE HIM UP OR BAKE HIM
I’D SEND THE FBI A PAGE
BUT I DON’T THINK WE’RE AT THAT STAGE —

N
ng
SO: HERE HE IS FOLKS, HE’S ALL YOURS!

O
COULDN’T LEAVE HIM OUT OF DOORS
CREEPIN’ ON ALL FOURS i
ns

TI
WE COULD ALWAYS SHOOT HIM
BUT THAT DON’T SEEM RIGHT TO ME

C
’N I CAN’T RID MYSELF O’ MY CHRISTIAN CHARITY
ce

SHELLEY
U
Li

Can we see him?

D
O
ay

MEREDITH
Shelley, get away.
PR
dw

SHERIFF
You listen to your mother, Shelley. You don’t want to be near it if it wakes up.
oa

MEREDITH
Is it an animal or a …
FO
Br

SHERIFF
It bit one of the Taylor kids.
T

SHELLEY
O

Rick?
N

SHERIFF
No, Ruthie.

SHELLEY
Oh.

15
 SHERIFF
She’ll be all right.

MEREDITH
SHELLEY, DON’T STARE
SHELLEY, DON’T POKE

al
WHAT IS THIS, SHERIFF

s
SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?

ru
SHELLEY

Pe
MOM, HE’S SO GROSS
MOM, CAN HE STAY?

SHERIFF

N
ng
SHEL, I WAS HOPIN’ YOU’D SEE IT THAT WAY

O
I’M COMIN’ UP FOR RE-ELECTION
i
ns

TI
SHELLEY
MOM!

C
ce

MEREDITH
SHELLEY, QUIET!
U
Li

D
SHERIFF
O
ay

I GOTTA BRING THIS THING TO HEEL

PR

SHELLEY
dw

MOM!

MEREDITH
oa

SHELLEY, QUIET!
FO

SHERIFF
Br

A BOY WITH HIS COMPLEXION’S

GONNA MEET WITH SOME OBJECTIONS
’N I THINK I KNOW HOW FOLKS WILL FEEL
T

ONCE THEY HEAR THIS

O

“BAT CHILD” IS FOR REAL —

N

SHELLEY
(To SHERIFF.)
It’s a Bat Child?

(To MEREDITH.)

16
 SHELLEY (CONT’D)
Mom, we gotta keep it.

SHERIFF
They’re just callin’ it that, Shelley. I can’t say I know that’s what it is. That’s for your father
to decide.

al
MEREDITH

s
All right, Sheriff. You’ve done the right thing coming to us. I’ll take care of the boy for you.

ru
SHERIFF

Pe
Ah, that’s great, Meredith. I can’t thank you enough for the favor. Do you need anything?
He can be pretty feisty.

MEREDITH

N
ng
We can manage, I’m sure.

O
i SHERIFF
ns

TI
You’re certain?

C
MEREDITH
ce

Dr. Parker has some cages. I’m sure we can find one that works.
U
Li

SHERIFF
D
Right. That’s what I figured.
O
ay

SHERIFF MEREDITH SHELLEY

PR

’N IF HE TURNS
dw

INTO A PAIN
CALL ME
I GOT STUN GUNS
oa

AND A CHAIN! WHOA!

OH!
FO

SO, HERE
Br

HE IS FOLKS DON’T STARE, MOM! …

HE’S ALL YOURS! SHELLEY LOOK AT HIM!
PLEASE DON’T POKE. I KNOW BUT
T

COULDN’T LEAVE
O

HIM DON’T TOUCH HIM MOM …

OUT OF DOORS, LOOK AT HIM;
N

CREEPIN’ ON ALL
FOURS SHELLEY WHAT’S
WRONG
DON’T PROVOKE WITH HIM?

17
 SHERIFF
WE MAY HAVE TO PUT HIM DOWN

ALL THREE
FOR NOW WE’LL WAIT AND SEE
WE CAN’T RID OURSELVES OF OUR

al
CHRISTIAN CHARITY

s
(BAT BOY rouses and squirms.)

ru
SHERIFF MEREDITH SHELLEY

Pe
SO, HERE HE
IS FOLKS DON’T STARE MOM! …
HE’S ALL YOURS! SHELLEY
PLEASE DON’T POKE

N
ng
COULDN’T LEAVE

O
HIM DON’T TOUCH HIM MOOOOMMM! …
OUT OF DOORS i
ns

TI
CREEPIN’ ON ALL
FOURS SHELLEY

C
DON’T PROVOKE
ce

SHERIFF
U
Li

THOSE THUNDERCLOUDS ARE CLOSING IN

D
O
ay

ALL THREE
WE CAN’T JUST LET HIM BE
PR
dw

(SHERIFF exits, obviously glad to wash his hands of the situation.

MEREDITH and SHELLEY look at the figure of BAT BOY on the
floor.)
oa

WE CAN’T RID OURSELVES OF OUR CHRISTIAN CHARITY

FO

WE CAN’T RID OURSELVES OF OUR CHRISTIAN … CHARITY!

Br

SHELLEY
(Off Bat Boy’s twitch.)
T

MOM!
O

MEREDITH
N

SHELLEY, QUIET

(MEREDITH pulls the hood off Bat Boy’s head. BAT BOY screams.
All lights blackout except for a pin spot on Bat Boy’s face.)

18
 SCENE 3

(Lights come back up on the Parker living room. BAT BOY, still
screaming, is now in a cage. SHELLEY stands next to the cage. BAT
BOY shakes the bars, throws himself about the cage and generally
makes a spectacle of himself. The shrieking is awful.)

al
SHELLEY

s
(Hands over ears.)

ru
Shut up! Shut up!

Pe
(Calling to offstage.)

Mom, he won’t shut up!

N
ng
(To BAT BOY.)

O
i
Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. SHUT. UP!!!
ns

TI
(MEREDITH enters with a whole, cooked chicken on a platter.)

C
ce

MEREDITH
Yelling at him won’t help, sweetheart. U
Li

D
SHELLEY
O
ay

He’s being a pill.

PR

MEREDITH
dw

(Placing chicken just inside Bat Boy’s cage.)

He’s probably just hungry.
oa

SHELLEY
You’re giving him our dinner?
FO
Br

MEREDITH
Don’t be selfish, sweetie.
T

(To BAT BOY.)

O

Come on, it’s okay. You need to eat.

N

#4 UGLY BOY

(BAT BOY moves closer.)

19
 MEREDITH
Go on, go on.

(BAT BOY suddenly gets down on all fours and screams at the
chicken. He appears to be trying to scare it out of his cage.)

al
SHELLEY
Mom, why is he screaming at the chicken?! Mom, make him stop! Ugh!

s
ru
(MEREDITH removes the chicken from the cage. BAT BOY stops
screaming.)

Pe
SHELLEY
SUCH AN UGLY BOY

N
ng
MEREDITH

O
He’s just different.
i
ns

TI
SHELLEY
LIKE A STINKY BONY RAT

C
ce

MEREDITH
You wanted to keep him.
U
Li

D
SHELLEY
O
ay

I DIDN’T KNOW HE’D

PR

LOOK LIKE THAT!

dw

MEREDITH
Shelley!
oa

SHELLEY
FO

WELL, LOOK AT HIM

Br

(Lightning flashes and thunder claps. MEREDITH and SHELLEY

look up at the lights as they flash and dim. BAT BOY whimpers in his
T

cage.)
O

MEREDITH
N

It’s going to be quite a storm.

(MEREDITH takes out candles and lights them.)

20
 SHELLEY
STUPID STARVING FREAK …

MEREDITH
Shelley, that’s not nice.

al
SHELLEY
DOESN’T HAVE THE

s
SENSE TO EAT …

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
We just haven’t figured out what he needs —

SHELLEY
DROPPING DEAD RIGHT

N
ng
AT MY FEET …

O
i MEREDITH
ns

TI
Shelley!

C
SHELLEY
ce

WELL LOOK AT HIM …

U
Li

MEREDITH
D
(Tearing up.)
O
ay

He’s just … tired.

PR

SHELLEY
dw

(To BAT BOY.)

THAT’S MY MOM
SEE, SHE CRIES
oa

EVERY TIME A STRAY

DOG DIES
FO
Br

MEREDITH
Well, I feel bad for them.
T

SHELLEY
O

NO ONE CALLS;
N

MEREDITH
Sure they call …

SHELLEY
NO ONE CLAIMS;

21
 MEREDITH
Sometimes …

SHELLEY
SO WE PUT THEM DOWN
AND NEVER LEARN THEIR NAMES …

al
MEREDITH

s
Well, we can name him, sweetheart. What would you like to call him?

ru
SHELLEY

Pe
Bat Boy. You gotta eat something, Bat Boy.

MEREDITH
That’s cruel, dear.

N
ng

O
SHELLEY
That’s what he looks like — i
ns

TI
MEREDITH

C
— we’re not calling him Bat Boy —
ce

SHELLEY
U
Li

— but that’s what he looks like —

D
O
ay

MEREDITH
Shelley.
PR
dw

SHELLEY
(Beat.)
What do you want to call him?
oa

MEREDITH
FO

Perhaps Montgomery …
Br

SHELLEY
How about Ugly?
T
O

MEREDITH
Or maybe Edgar.
N

(Calling.)

Ed-gar! …

22
 BAT BOY
(Looks at MEREDITH.)
Gggnnnnwwgwoooo?

MEREDITH
Look! He likes that name.

al
SHELLEY

s
(Calling.)

ru
Ug-ly!

Pe
(BAT BOY looks at SHELLEY.)

He likes Ugly better.

N
ng
MEREDITH

O
Edgar it is! Well, I’m going to try to make something else for him. You stay away from the
cage, sweetheart. i
ns

TI
SHELLEY

C
Okay.
ce

U
(MEREDITH exits. There is a loud knock at the door.)
Li

D
Rick!
O
ay

#5 WHATCHA WANNA DO?

PR
dw

(SHELLEY goes to the door and opens it. RICK comes tearing into
the living room.)
oa

RICK
FO

Are you guys okay? I heard the Sheriff brought the Bat Boy over here and —
Br

(Sees BAT BOY; points; mouth open in shock.)

T

He’s still alive?! He’s in your house?!

O

SHELLEY
N

It’s okay, Rick. He’s confined.

RICK
That cage’ll never hold him! My sister’s in the hospital with a big ol’ …

(Indicates a neck wound.)

23
 RICK (CONT’D)
… I can’t believe you have him in the house!

SHELLEY
Mom says we gotta keep him till Dad comes home.

al
RICK
Your dad’s just going to kill it, right?

s
ru
SHELLEY
(Shrugging, “I don’t know.”)

Pe
Mm-mm-mm. So whatcha wanna do tonight?

RICK
(To BAT BOY, rapping loudly and whitely.)

N
ng
HEY THERE LITTLE FREAK YOU REMEMBER ME?

O
WE WERE NEVER INTRODUCED PROPERLY
HEY, YOU GONNA CRY? i
ns

TI
YOU DON’T LOOK SO TOUGH BY THE LIGHT OF DAY
BUT WE AIN’T GONNA MURDER YOU RIGHT AWAY

C
FIRST WE GONNA BUY
ce

YOU LOTS O’ FANCY CLOTHES!

AND MAKE YOU CLIP YOUR TOES!
U
Li

AND WATCH YOU WALK AROUND IN MAKEUP

D
AND PANTYHOSE!
O
ay

SHELLEY
PR

(Laughing, imitating Rick.)

dw

WE GONNA TAKE YOU BACK

OUT BY THE RAILROAD TRACK
oa

RICK/SHELLEY
AND LEAVE YOUR BODY FOR THE DOGS AS A MIDNIGHT
FO

SNACK!
Br

RICK
YOUR PAPA WAS A PIG!
T
O

SHELLEY
YOUR MAMA WAS A SNAKE!
N

RICK
WE’RE GONNA SNAP YOU LIKE A TWIG AND DUMP YOU IN
THE LAKE!

24
 SHELLEY
(Getting into it quite a bit.)
WE GONNA CHAIN YOUR ARM
TO AN ATOMIC BOMB
AND MAKE YOU TAKE YOUR GRANDMAMA TO THE SENIOR
PROM!

al
(SHELLEY makes “human beatbox” noises. RICK stares at her.)

s
ru
What?

Pe
RICK
Dude, you are so hot.

(Grabbing SHELLEY, still addressing BAT BOY.)

N
ng

O
BUT FIRST I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT I WANNA DO
TONIGHT i
ns

TI
I WANNA BOUNCE IT WIT MY CREW TONIGHT
WE’LL MAKE SWEET LOVE IN FRONT OF YOU

C
TONIGHT!
ce

SHELLEY
U
Li

(Laughing, pushing him away.)

D
Ew!
O
ay

RICK
PR

UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH!

dw

SHELLEY
(To RICK.)
oa

YOU KNOW MY MOM IS RIGHT UPSTAIRS TONIGHT

FO

RICK
Br

THAT CHICK IS FULLY UNAWARES TONIGHT

SHELLEY
T

(Mouthing silently in disbelief.)

O

“Chick”? …
N

RICK
AND IF SHE CATCHES US, WHO CARES TONIGHT? …

25
 SHELLEY
(Smiling, charmed.)
Me?

(RICK leans in close.)

al
RICK SHELLEY
UH HUH, UH HUH UH HUH, UH HUH …

s
ru
(They are now singing into each others’ mouths.)

Pe
UH HUH, UH HUH UH HUH, UH HUH …

(They make out. BAT BOY has been watching with growing intensity
and now begins bouncing up and down on the bars of his cage and

N
ng
making eager noises.)

O
i BAT BOY
ns

TI
A HA A HA A HA A HAH! A HA A HA A HA A HAH!

C
RICK
ce

You freak! Can’t you mind your own business, Bat Boy?
U
Li

SHELLEY
D
Stay away from the cage.
O
ay

RICK
PR

What … you wanna bite me like you bit my sister? You want a piece of me? Huh, tough
dw

guy?

(BAT BOY suddenly jerks his head at RICK and screams. RICK is
oa

startled, falls flat on his butt and scampers away like a coward.
SHELLEY tries not to laugh.)
FO
Br

RICK
That little freak! Did you see that?
T

SHELLEY
O

I told you.
N

(RICK turns on BAT BOY.)

26
 RICK SHELLEY
WHY YOU TRYIN’ TO STEP
TO ME, LITTLE CREEP?
ARE YOU THROWIN’ DOWN
WITH ME, LITTLE FREAK?
WHATCHA GONNA DO?

al
Rick!
COME ON LITTLE COWARD

s
LET’S GET IT ON

ru
I’M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH
YOU WERE NEVER BORN!

Pe
WHEN I’M THROUGH WITH YOU!
I’LL SHOW YOU HOW I SPILL
YOUR BRAIN TONIGHT!
Rick …

N
ng
I’LL RUN YOU OVER LIKE

O
A TRAIN TONIGHT! Stop it! …
I’LL PUT YOU IN A WORLD
i
ns

TI
O’ PAIN TONIGHT! HEY!
SO COME ON, COME ON

C
COME ON, COME ON!
ce

MOM!
I SHOULDA BROUGHT MY
U
Li

LOADED GUN TONIGHT!

D
Mom!
O
ay

BUT STOMPIN’ YOU WILL

BE MORE FUN TONIGHT!
PR

Help!
dw

YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR

WHAT YOU DONE TONIGHT!
SO
oa

(Makes kung-fu noises.)

FO
Br

WOOO-EEEE-YAAAAAH!!!
Mom, Rick’s being a pill!
(Rick takes out a bowie knife.)
T

I’M TAKIN’ OUT MY BOWIE

O

KNIFE TONIGHT!
Omigod …
N

I’M GONNA END YOUR

WORTHLESS LIFE TONIGHT!
Mom!
I’M MAKIN’ YOU MY PRISON
WIFE TONIIIIIAAAAAAIIIIGHHHHT!

27
 RICK (CONT’D)
COME ON!!!

(BAT BOY flees and huddles in a corner of his cage, scared. Enter
MEREDITH, wearing an oven mitt.)

al
MEREDITH
Rick Taylor! What do you think you’re doing?

s
ru
RICK
Ahhh …

Pe
MEREDITH
A poor defenseless boy. That’s how you treat him?

N
ng
(Points to the door with the oven mitt.)

O
Get out of my house! i
ns

TI
RICK

C
I’m sorry, Mrs. Parker.
ce

MEREDITH
U
Li

Get out of my house!

D
O
ay

RICK
He started it.
PR
dw

(MEREDITH still points to the door. RICK looks to SHELLEY, who

is kneeling next to the cage, looking at BAT BOY.)
oa

Oh, man.
FO

(Moving to the door, mumbling.)

Br

I don’t know what the big deal is.

T

(Yelling back.)
O

I guess I’ll just go and see how my sister’s doing, then! In the hospital!
N

(RICK exits. MEREDITH crosses to SHELLEY, who is now crying.

MEREDITH kneels with SHELLEY and holds her.)

28
 SHELLEY
Boys are horrible.

MEREDITH
(Strokes her head.)
Oh, sweetheart.

al
(BAT BOY falls to the floor and passes out. Thunder. Lights go out

s
and stay out.)

ru
Oh, there go the lights.

Pe
#6 A HOME FOR YOU

N
SHELLEY

ng
He doesn’t look very good, Mom.

O
i MEREDITH
ns

TI
He’s had a hard day, dear.

C
ce

SHELLEY
You don’t think he’s going to die, do you?
U
Li

D
MEREDITH
I don’t know.
O
ay

SHELLEY
PR

I’m never going to get another pet, never.

dw

MEREDITH
Shelley, why don’t you go get ready for bed? I’ll come tuck you in in a minute.
oa

R
FO

SHELLEY
Br

All right.

(SHELLEY exits. MEREDITH lights candles. BAT BOY moans.)

T

MEREDITH
O

POOR LITTLE PERSON WITH EYES SO SAD

N

WHERE IN THE DARK DID THEY HIDE YOU?

WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN
THAT COULD TEACH YOU THAT HAUNTED STARE?
POOR LITTLE CREATURE, IT MAKES ME MAD
TO THINK OF THE CHILDHOOD DENIED YOU
BUT GIVE ME A CHANCE

29
 MEREDITH (CONT’D)
AND WE’LL MAKE IT ALL RIGHT, I SWEAR

’CAUSE WE’RE NOT HERE TO HARM YOU

OR MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED
YOU CAN MAKE MISTAKES HERE

al
AND YOU WON’T BE BLAMED
SO SHOW US HOW TO HELP YOU

s
AND IF WE PULL YOU THROUGH

ru
THEN WE WILL FIND A HOME FOR YOU

Pe
(MEREDITH slowly opens the door of the cage. BAT BOY cowers.)

HOME IS A WORD THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE

LEARNED

N
ng
HOME IS WHERE PEOPLE ACCEPT YOU

O
PEOPLE WHO TREAT YOU WITH LOVE
WHICH IS AWFULLY RARE
i
ns

TI
FAMILY’S A PLACE WHERE YOUR TRUST IS EARNED
BY FOLKS WHO ARE HAPPY THEY KEPT YOU

C
WE’LL FIND A FAMILY WHO WON’T LET YOU DOWN
ce

I SWEAR
’CAUSE WE’RE NOT HERE TO HARM YOU, OR —
U
Li

D
BAT BOY
O
ay

OO OO OO OO OO OO
PR

(BAT BOY finishes the phrase in a mournful wordless singsong.

dw

MEREDITH is stunned. Finally she leans forward and sings:)

MEREDITH
oa

OO OO OO OO OO OO?
FO

(Pause. BAT BOY meets her gaze for the first time.)
Br

BAT BOY
… OO OO OO OO OO
T
O

(Together they harmonize, tentatively at first, then with growing

confidence and complexity.)
N

TOGETHER
OO OO OO OO OO OO,
OO OO OO OO OO OO.
OO OO OO OO OO OO,

30
 MEREDITH BAT BOY
NO, WE’RE NOT HERE TO HARM YOU OO OO OO OO
OR MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED OO OO OO OO
YOU CAN MAKE MISTAKES HERE, OO OO OO OO
AND YOU WON’T BE BLAMED OO OO OO
SO TEACH US HOW TO LOVE YOU OO OO OO OO

al
AND ONCE THE NIGHT IS THROUGH OO OO OO
THEN WE MAY HAVE

s
A HOME FOR YOU

ru
SO SHOW ME WHAT TO GIVE YOU
SEE, LOOK, I MADE A STEW

Pe
(MEREDITH offers BAT BOY a spoonful of stew. He tastes it,
grimaces, spits it out and retreats into a corner of the cage, gagging
and spitting.)

N
ng

O
MEREDITH
AND SOMEHOW, IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH
i
ns

TI
THEN THIS MIGHT BE
A HOME FOR YOU

C
ce

BAT BOY
(Weakly.)
U
Li

… OO OO OO OO OO
D
O
ay

(Blackout.)
PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

31
 SCENE 4

(Hope Falls Slaughterhouse. MAGGIE, SHERIFF, LORRAINE,

DAISY, BUD, NED, ROY.)

MAGGIE

al
As the honorable mayor of Hope Falls, West Virginia, I hereby call this meeting of the
Town Council to order.

s
ru
(Gavel.)

Pe
Okey-doke. I want to thank you all for coming out in this storm tonight. So, let’s get this
meetin’ going. First order of business.

DAISY

N
ng
(Writing.)

O
Number One.
i
ns

TI
MAGGIE
Lorraine, I believe you have a report for us from the Revival Committee.

C
ce

LORRAINE
U
That’s right, Mayor Maggie, I do. I am pleased to confirm that the Reverend Billy
Li

Hightower will be bringing his Tent Revival Meeting and Barbecue to Hope Falls come
D
spring.
O
ay

CROWD
PR

(Ad-lib.)
dw

That’s great. / Good job, Lorraine. / I can’t wait.

LORRAINE
oa

And the Revival Committee has decided that we should put the Revival Tent behind the
VFW Hall with the back of it facing west so the afternoon sun illuminates the cross. You
FO

see, Reverend Hightower has but this translucent vinyl cross on the back of the tent — like
Br

stained glass but vinyl? — and we just thought that the sun shining through there would
synergize the spiritual aesthetic.
T

MAGGIE
O

That’s just great. Lorraine, that is excellent work. Okey-doke. Agenda Item Number Two.
N

DAISY
Two.

32
 MAGGIE
Now the reason that I’ve called this Town Council meeting here in the slaughterhouse, is
because we’ve got a crisis on our hands! I want you to take a look at these meat hooks.
There’s something peculiar about ’em, isn’t there? There’s no meat on ’em! Now we got
three ranchers in attendance. Bud, Roy, Ned — let’s have the report. How come this
slaughterhouse ain’t slaughterin’?

al
BUD

s
Well, Mayor Maggie, that’s a complicated question and it deserves a complicated answer.

ru
You see, the state of West Virginia has rules about how heavy a heifer’s got to be in order
that you can bring it to slaughter. And our cows just aren’t up to the standard.

Pe
MAGGIE
So what you’re saying is that the cows are too skinny to kill.

N
ng
NED

O
Well, that’s what the state regulations are saying. Me personally, I think that, sure, they’re
a mite listless, but overall their spirits are good and —
i
ns

TI
LORRAINE

C
Oh, you boys are in denial. I went out to that ranch of yours yesterday, and every one of
ce

those bony cows was lying around like a welfare mother. And correct me if I’m wrong, but
it didn’t seem like there was one hundred of them, either.
U
Li

D
MAGGIE
O
ay

Is that right, Bud? Did some of our cows run away?

PR

BUD
dw

No, Mayor Maggie. We got electrified security. What’s happened with the twenty-two
dead cows is that —
oa

LORRAINE/MAGGIE
Twenty-two dead cows?!
FO
Br

ROY
It’s better to think of it as a streamlining of the herd. It’s a perfectly common anomaly.
T

MAGGIE
O

Bud, it’s time for you boys to wake up and smell the music!
N

#7 ANOTHER DEAD COW

MAGGIE (CONT’D)
We obviously got ourselves a predicament here.

33
 BUD
All right! I admit it!

BUD
BOSSIE’S THIN AS A FISHIN’ POLE

al
NED
BESSIE’S FLAT AS A FLOUNDER

s
ru
ROY
LITTLE BONNIE, GOD REST HER SOUL

Pe
WAS BARELY ONE QUARTER-POUNDER

BUD
I CHECK MY BOVINE MANUAL

N
ng
AND I FIND NO DEFINITION;

O
BUD AND NED
i
ns

TI
EVEN THIS REVISED EDITION
DOES NOT MENTION MALNUTRITION!

C
ce

ROY
GUSSIE DIED OF A HACKIN’ COUGH
U
Li

CLARA DROWNED IN THE FEEDING TROUGH

D
O
ay

ALL THREE
WHY WOULD THE LORD WANNA CARRY THEM
PR

OFF?
dw

ALL BUT BUD BUD

DANG! DANG!
oa

WE GOT ANOTHER WE GOT ANOTHER

DEAD COW DEAD COW …
FO

AND THE RENT IS

Br

OVERDUE
WE’RE FACIN’ POVERTY!
T

ALL BUT ROY

O

GOT ANOTHER
DEAD COW
N

AND WE’RE UP TO
TWENTY-TWO

34
 ROY
(On phone, covers receiver.)
Better make that twenty-three!

ALL
SWEET JESUS, NOW I’M PETRIFIED …

al
NED

s
THEY’RE GONNA REPOSSESS MY DOUBLE-WIDE!

ru
ALL

Pe
(Beginning to point fingers.)
GOT ANOTHER DEAD COW
AND I’M THINKIN’ A BLAMIN’...

N
ng
MAGGIE

O
— You wanna be watching that kind of talk, let’s not go there. Everybody, let’s pull
together on this. i
ns

TI
BUD

C
I’m telling you, this town is cursed! First the coal mines dried up on us, now all the cows
ce

are dropping like flies. I don’t know what to do, I wasn’t cut out to be a rancher! What I
wouldn’t give to be a coal miner again.
U
Li

D
(All cough. Bud’s handkerchief turns black from the contents of his
O
ay

lungs.)
PR

ROY
dw

Those were the good old days.

MAGGIE
oa

All right, let’s guide this train of thought back toward the depot. We gotta figure out
what’s wrong with these cows.
FO
Br

ALL
SOMETHIN’S MAKIN’ ’EM COUGH AND WHEEZE,
SLOWLY DRIVIN’ THEM TO THEIR KNEES …
T
O

BUD
IT’S GOTTA BE SOME CONTAGIOUS DISEASE!
N

ALL
A PLAGUE!

35
 ALL BUT MAGGIE MAGGIE
WE GOT ANOTHER WE GOT ANOTHER
DEAD COW DEAD COW
AND WE DON’T AND WE DON’T
KNOW WHY KNOW WHY
THEY DIE … THEY DIE …

al
MAGGIE

s
We got to find a link! …

ru
ALL BUT BUD BUD

Pe
GOT ANOTHER DEAD GOT ANOTHER DEAD
COW COW
AND APOCALYPSE AND APOCALYPSE
DRAWS NIGH DRAWS NIGH

N
ng

O
BUD
You went to college, think! i
ns

TI
ALL

C
WELL, SOMETHING’S BOUND TO RAISE A FLAG
ce

LORRAINE
U
Li

Like that little Bat Boy they found in the bag? …

D
O
ay

(Long pause. A new, horrible possibility dawns on them.)

PR

ALL
dw

GOT ANOTHER DEAD COW …

GOT ANOTHER D —
GOT ANO —
oa

G—
… GOT ANOTHER DEAD COW
FO

BUT I’M TELLIN’ YOU NOW

Br

I AM MAKIN’ A VOW
BY THE SWEAT OF MY BROW
GONNA FIGGER OUT WHO AND WHAT AND HOW AND WHY!
T
O

(TOWNSFOLK begin to disperse, each lost in thought. They address

the air, not looking at each other:)
N

ROY
It is like they’ve been bled …

36
 NED/MAGGIE/BUD/LORRAINE
WHY! …

BUD
Do you think Dr. Parker will put it down?

al
NED/MAGGIE/ROY/LORRAINE
WHY! …

s
ru
LORRAINE
Well, Dr. Parker’s a good man.

Pe
NED/MAGGIE/ROY/BUD
WHY! …

N
ng
LORRAINE

O
I’m sure he’ll kill it!
i
ns

TI
ALL
WHY!!! …

C
ce

(Thunder.)
U
Li

D
O
ay

PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

37
 SCENE 5

(Parker home. The front door opens. DR. THOMAS PARKER enters,
carrying two dead geese around his neck. He holds a shotgun in one
hand. He wears a hunting knife on his belt. He is drunk. He doesn’t
see BAT BOY yet.)

al
PARKER

s
Sorry I’m so late! The roads are all mud and the lights are out all over town! But I got a

ru
limit! Hello!

Pe
(PARKER regards his dead geese.)

I’ll call this one Fricassee, and this one I’ll call Cacciatore. Heh-heh … I was just getting
ready to pack it in when the wind starts kicking up, and this perfect formation of honkers

N
ng
comes banking in from the West, and —

O
(Bangs into the cage.)
i
ns

TI
Aah! What’s the big cage doing out? Another stray?

C
ce

#8 DANCE WITH ME, DARLING

U
Li

D
(PARKER takes a candle and walks over to the cage. The light from
the candle illuminates Parker’s reaction to BAT BOY. Thunder.)
O
ay

Sweet wounded Jesus! How did you get here?

PR
dw

(PARKER goes to his doctor’s bag, pulls out a flask and takes a drink.
He takes out a pocket tape recorder and studies BAT BOY, dictating:)
oa

PARKER
FO

MAMMAL, HUMANOID
Br

ADOLESCENT MALE
MASSIVE OVERBITE
FEVERISH AND PALE
T

CLAWED PREHENSILE FEET

SORES THAT WILL NOT HEAL
O
N

(He picks up Meredith’s stew pot and considers it.)

STARVING, BUT WON’T EAT

… I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

38
 (PARKER pauses, then pulls from his doctor’s bag a syringe and fills
it with a pink liquid from a vial.)

PARKER (CONT’D)
Well, this’ll put one of us out of our misery.

al
(PARKER approaches BAT BOY with the syringe. He is just about to
pierce Bat Boy’s neck with the needle when MEREDITH enters and

s
…)

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
Thomas, no!

(PARKER turns to her. The syringe is still poised.)

N
ng
PARKER

O
What?
i
ns

TI
MEREDITH
Please. Don’t.

C
ce

PARKER
Well, why not?
U
Li

D
(He leans in to inject BAT BOY.)
O
ay

MEREDITH
PR

Please!
dw

PARKER
(Annoyed.)
oa

What!?
FO

MEREDITH
Br

Let him live. He’s just a boy.

PARKER
T

You know what this is, don’t you?

O

MEREDITH
N

Yes, I know. You could save him if you wanted to, couldn’t you? You could make him
well again?

39
 PARKER
Are you kidding me? The ranchers would go nuts. They’re already blaming their problems
on anything they can think of.

MEREDITH
But if you wanted to …

al
PARKER

s
I can hear it now. “There goes Dr. Parker. He couldn’t manage to save our cattle, but he

ru
saved the Bat Boy. He’s Hope Falls’ finest citizen, maybe we won’t run him out on a rail
after all … ”

Pe
MEREDITH
… but we could just keep him here in the house …

N
ng
PARKER

O
… They’ll have my head for something like this, Meredith. And I’ll bet you dollars to
donuts that Sheriff Reynolds expects me to put it down, don’t try to tell me any different.
i
ns

TI
There’s just no way around this. Sorry, little fella, there’s just no way around it.

C
(He moves to BAT BOY, pushes his head to the side and bares his
ce

neck for the needle.)

U
Li

MEREDITH
D
(Falling to her knees.)
O
ay

No, please! I’m begging you.

PR

(PARKER pulls up short.)

dw

You can’t just kill him like an animal. Please, please

oa

PARKER
So, now you’ve got all this love in your heart, do you?
FO
Br

MEREDITH
You have to let him live. We can take care of him.
T

PARKER
O

Where’d you find the room for all this love in your heart all of a sudden?
N

MEREDITH
We have to let him live.

PARKER
Who do you love?

40
 MEREDITH
Oh, please, Thomas.

PARKER
Tell me who you love. Who do you love, Meredith?

al
MEREDITH
Please don’t do this.

s
ru
PARKER
Me, right? It’s me you love.

Pe
MEREDITH
Of course I do. I’m your wife.

N
ng
PARKER

O
(Turning back to BAT BOY.)
You haven’t been a wife to me in years.
i
ns

TI
MEREDITH

C
I could be.
ce

PARKER
U
Li

(Freezes.)
D
Tonight?
O
ay

(Beat.)
PR
dw

Tonight?

MEREDITH
oa

Let me get you a drink.

FO

PARKER
Br

(Grabbing her hand.)

BUT THERE WAS A TIME, YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU WOULD SMILE AT ME …
T
O

MEREDITH
(To herself; “there he goes again”)
N

Oh no …

PARKER
ONCE LONG AGO, THERE WAS LOVE IN YOUR EYES
YOU WERE SO LIGHT IN MY ARMS

41
 PARKER (CONT’D)
WE DANCED FIVE HOURS OR MORE
WE WERE THE LAST ON THE FLOOR
WITH THE SUN SOON TO RISE …
THE BAND PLAYED ONE FINAL SONG
AND WE WERE HUMMING ALONG:

al
(PARKER impulsively grabs MEREDITH and dances with her.

s
MEREDITH, with manufactured smile, plays along and gently tries

ru
to get the syringe away from him. PARKER keeps it out of her reach,
still dancing.)

Pe
OH, DANCE WITH ME DARLING
WE HAVEN’T DANCED SINCE
I DON’T KNOW WHEN

N
ng
DANCE WITH ME DARLING

O
WON’T YOU EMBRACE ME
KISS ME IN CASE WE i
ns

TI
DON’T MEET AGAIN
I’VE HEARD A RUMOR

C
BARELY A WHISPER
ce

CLAIMING THAT WE WERE THROUGH

SO DANCE WITH ME DARLING
U
Li

SHOW THEM THAT IT’S NOT TRUE

D
O
ay

(BAT BOY moans, drawing their attention. They stare at him.)

PR

MEREDITH
dw

So you’ll do it?

PARKER
oa

So you’ll do it?
FO

MEREDITH
Br

Yes.

PARKER
T

Tell me you love me, Meredith.

O

MEREDITH
N

I will.

(Moves to exit.)

42
 PARKER
Things are really turning around for us, aren’t they?

MEREDITH
That’s right, dear.

al
(MEREDITH exits.)

s
PARKER

ru
(To BAT BOY.)
Did you hear that? I guess that makes us pals.

Pe
’CAUSE NOW I CAN’T SAY NO
TONIGHT SHE SMILED AT ME:
JUST GOES TO SHOW

N
ng
SOMEONE UP THERE STILL CARES

O
I’VE DREAMED THIS DAY WOULD ARRIVE
WHEN SHE’D RETURN TO MY ARMS;
i
ns

TI
NOW IF I KEEP YOU ALIVE
I CAN JOIN HER UPSTAIRS

C
I SEE A WAY TO PROCEED
ce

SO WE BOTH CAN GET WHAT WE NEED

U
Li

(PARKER dances around the room, humming. He puts out candles.

D
Ghostly figures appear. They are the Voices In His Head.)
O
ay

PARKER VOICES IN HIS HEAD

PR

OH, DANCE WITH ME, DARLING MM MM MM MM MM

dw

DOO DOOBY DOO DOO MM MM MM MM MM

DOO DOOBY DOO MM MM MM MM MM
oa

(He picks up a basin, collects the geese, approaches BAT BOY.)

FO

DYA DA DA DA
Br

DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY

DA DA DA DA DA DOO DOOBY DOO DOO
DA DA DA DA DA DOO DOOBY DOO DOO
T

DA DA DA DA DA DOO DOOBY DOO DOO

O

DA DA DA DA DOO DOOBY DOO

N

(PARKER picks up BAT BOY and cradles him in his arms.)

PARKER
SURELY IT’S MORE THAN MOONLIGHT AND MUSIC
SURELY IT’S MORE THAN WINE

43
 PARKER/CHORUS
SO DANCE WITH ME DARLING
SHOW THEM THAT YOU’RE STILL MINE! …

(Lightning flashes and with each explosion of light we see a tableau:

FLASH! PARKER cuts the necks of the geese. Darkness. Thunder.

al
FLASH! Blood pours into the basin. BAT BOY rouses slightly.
Darkness. Thunder. FLASH! PARKER holds Bat Boy’s head above

s
the basin. BAT BOY screeches. Darkness. Thunder. FLASH!

ru
PARKER submerges Bat Boy’s head in the basin of blood. Darkness.
Thunder. FLASH! BAT BOY, his face covered in blood, screams like a

Pe
beast. Darkness. Silence. A single spotlight finds Bat Boy’s face. He
pants heavily. Something lifts him into the air. Lights go wild. BAT
BOY howls over fractured and demented music.)

N
ng
SCARY CHORUS

O
AH AH AH AH AH AH AH …
AAAAAAAHHHH! i
ns

TI
(Lights change back to the Parker home. BAT BOY is exhausted but

C
clearly healthier. PARKER sings to BAT BOY, to the absent
ce

MEREDITH, or both.)
U
Li

PARKER SCARY CHORUS

D
SURELY THE GODS MUST
O
ay

WANT US TOGETHER
DON’T FIGHT THEIR
PR

GRAND DESIGN
dw

NO, DANCE WITH ME

DARLING … AAH AH AH AH AH!
DANCE WITH ME
oa

DARLING … AAH AH AH AH AH!

FO

(PARKER sweeps the bewildered BAT BOY up in his arms and

Br

dances him round.)

AND BE FOREVER
T

MINE! AAH AH AH AH AH, AHH!!!

O
N

44
 SCENE 6

(Hospital room. A DOCTOR, MRS. TAYLOR, RICK and RON

stand around Ruthie’s hospital bed. RUTHIE is in some pain.)

#9 MRS. TAYLOR’S LULLABY

al
MRS. TAYLOR

s
SLEEP LITTLE RUTHIE BABY, DON’T YOU FEAR NO BAT BOY

ru
DREAM ABOUT THE ANGELS FLOATING ROUND YOUR HEAD
SLEEP ON A PILLOW MADE FROM FLUFFY CLOUDS AND RAINBOWS

Pe
(SHERIFF enters. MRS. TAYLOR turns round to face him.)

N
WHILE MAMA CAN’T BELIEVE

ng

O
(Shouting.) i
ns

TI
THAT LITTLE FREAK AIN’T DEAD!

C
ce

SHERIFF
Now, Mrs. Taylor, I sympathize with your situation …
U
Li

D
RUTHIE
(Very weak voice.)
O
ay

— The monster. The monster …

PR

MRS. TAYLOR
dw

(Turning from SHERIFF.)

Oh, my baby.
oa

RICK
FO

Take it easy, Ruthie.

Br

RUTHIE
Monster!
T

RON
O

Calm down, Ruthie …

N

MRS. TAYLOR
Listen to your brothers, honey … Sshhh, sshhh. I know. Try to save your strength.

(MRS. TAYLOR hugs RUTHIE and kisses her on the forehead.)

45
 DOCTOR
I don’t understand why her blood isn’t clotting, but other than that she’s doing all right.
She’s going to be fine, Mrs. Taylor.

MRS. TAYLOR
Thank you, doctor.

al
(The doctor exits.)

s
ru
RICK
We want that thing dead, Sheriff!

Pe
RON
Yeah!

N
ng
SHERIFF

O
Now, boys, I understand.
i
ns

TI
MRS. TAYLOR
I can’t believe Dr. Parker didn’t kill it.

C
ce

RICK
It’s in their house!
U
Li

D
MRS. TAYLOR
O
ay

Why, even when my Ricky borrowed that truck from the construction site, you put him in
jail for a whole weekend! Why does that bat freak get special attention?
PR
dw

SHERIFF
Dr. Parker did put him in a cage …
oa

RICK
That cage’ll never hold him!
FO
Br

RON
What if he gets out and attacks us again?
T

MRS. TAYLOR
O

(Smacking RON on the head.)

Oh no! Don’t you say that, Ron.
N

(Grabbing sons into a hug.)

Not my babies. I couldn’t bear it. I just couldn’t bear it if that beast got out and hurt one of
my children.

46
 (She sobs.)

RICK/RON
It’s okay, Mama/Don’t worry …

SHERIFF

al
Don’t worry, Mrs. Taylor. I’ve seen the boy, and I’ll admit he looks peculiar, but he’s not
exactly what you’d call a —

s
ru
RUTHIE
Monster! Monster!

Pe
MRS. TAYLOR
Hush, baby doll.

N
ng
RUTHIE

O
Bat monster … bat monster … BAT MONSTER!
i
ns

TI
MRS. TAYLOR
SLEEP LITTLE RUTHIE BABY NO ONE’S GONNA HURT YOU

C
SHERIFF’S GONNA HAVE THAT LITTLE FREAK DESTROYED
ce

OR IF HE’S A COWARD AND HE WON’T PROTECT MY CHILDREN

MAMA’S GONNA GET THE SHERIFF UNEMPLOYED
U
Li

D
MRS. TAYLOR RICK/RON
O
ay

SLEEP LITTLE RUTHIE BABY OO

DON’T YOU FEAR NO BAT BOY DON’T YOU FEAR NO BAT BOY
PR

MAMA’S GONNA HUNT HIM OO

dw

DOWN AND BRING HIM HERE BRING HIM HERE

THEN YOU CAN SKIN HIM AND OO
WEAR HIM AS A JACKET WEAR HIM AS A JACKET
oa

AND WE’LL STRING A NECKLACE OO OO

WITH A DRIED BAT EAR DRIED BAT EAR
FO
Br

T
O
N

47
 SCENE 7

(Parker living room. Bright morning light. Kitchen table center.

MEREDITH sits at the table with Bat Boy, whom she has dressed.)

MEREDITH

al
Hellooo? Hellooo? Can you say hello? You can do it. Look at my lips.

s
(She points to her lips.)

ru
Lips. Hellllloooo. Hellllooooo.

Pe
(BAT BOY turns away and grunts.)

You don’t want to say hello? That’s okay. We’ve got time.

N
ng

O
(BAT BOY moves about the room sniffing things and grunting.
MEREDITH watches for a while. Then she gets an idea.
i
ns

TI
MEREDITH imitates one of Bat Boy’s grunts. BAT BOY looks at
her. MEREDITH makes the grunt again. BAT BOY looks at her for a

C
second, then makes the same grunt again. MEREDITH makes
ce

another grunt. BAT BOY responds. MEREDITH makes a different

grunt. BAT BOY imitates it.)
U
Li

D
Helllooooo …
O
ay

BAT BOY
PR

Eeeleeee …
dw

(This goes on, ad-lib: MEREDITH breaks the word down into
syllables and communicates with Bat Boy through a series of more
oa

elaborate grunts that approach the sound of the word “hello.” BAT
BOY gets better and better at it, until … )
FO
Br

Hhhhelllooo.

MEREDITH
T

That is very good. Hello.

O

BAT BOY
N

Hello.

MEREDITH
(She applauds and smiles.)
Good.

48
 (BAT BOY copies her — he applauds and smiles.)

MEREDITH
Now, can you say “boy”?

BAT BOY

al
Boy.

s
MEREDITH

ru
That is very good.

Pe
BAT BOY
Boy!

MEREDITH

N
ng
Yes, you are. You’re a boy.

O
i BAT BOY
ns

TI
Boy. Boy. Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy!

C
MEREDITH
ce

And you’re a smart boy, too.

U
Li

D
#10 SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO
O
ay

MEREDITH (CONT’D)
We’ll turn you into a proper young man in no time.
PR
dw

(MEREDITH opens a children’s book and … )

MEREDITH BAT BOY

oa

HERE IS A CAT HEE BA MA CAT

FO

THERE IS A GOOSE ZA BA ZA GOOSE

Br

THIS IS A RAT ZI BI ZA WAT

AND THAT IS A MOOSE BA BA BA BA BOOSE
THE CAT CREPT UP BEHIND
T

THE GOOSE
BUT THEN AWAY IT FLEW FLÜ
O

THE RAT WAS JEALOUS

N

OF A MOOSE
WHO LOVED A KANGAROO RÜ
THE CAT AND RAT MADE UP
AND FOUND
A FLAT IN TIMBUKTU TÜ
AND NOW AND NOW

49
 MEREDITH (CONT’D) BAT BOY (CONT’D)
REVIEW REVIEW …
WE READ THE WHOLE
WAY THROUGH!
CAA, GOOSH
RAA, MOOSH

al
KAGAROOW
TIBUKTOOW

s
UNDERSTAND? YES I DO!

ru
GOOD FOR YOU!
I’LL SHOW YOU A

Pe
THING OR TWO TWO
I’LL TEACH YOU TO
NAME IT NANE IT
SURE IT’S TOUGH BUT

N
ng
YOU’LL TAME IT TANE IT

O
AND ONCE YOU’VE BEAT IT … GGRGRWBRRGH! …
i
ns

TI
(BAT BOY tries to eat the book.)

C
OH, WAIT! DON’T EAT IT … AAOW …
ce

I’LL SHOW YOU THE WAY IT’S

DONE
U
Li

THEN I’LL LEAVE IT TO YOU

D
AND WHADDAYA KNOW, YOU MAY
O
ay

SHOW ME A THING OR TWO!

PR

(MEREDITH takes the children’s book from BAT BOY and crosses
dw

the stage. SHELLEY enters, in her school uniform.)

SHELLEY
oa

Hi, Mom!
FO

MEREDITH
Br

Hello, Shelley. How was school?

SHELLEY
T

It was great! How’s Bat Boy doing today?

O

MEREDITH
N

Edgar’s coming along nicely. Today we’re learning etiquette. Why don’t you introduce
yourself, Shelley?

SHELLEY BAT BOY

HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO?

50
 SHELLEY (CONT’D) BAT BOY (CONT’D)
LOVELY, AND YOU? LOVELY, AND YOU?
WON’T YOU SIT DOWN? WON’T YOU SIT DOWN?
DON’T MIND IF I DO DON’T MIND IF I DO
THE WEATHER WOULD
BE PERFECT

al
IF IT WEREN’T QUITE
SO HOT HOT

s
ru
MEREDITH
I FEAR WE’RE OUT OF

Pe
SANDWICHES,
THAT BUTLER SHOULD
BE SHOT SHOT

N
ng
MEREDITH/SHELLEY

O
BUT WON’T YOU STAY
THE NIGHT, i
ns

TI
WE’RE HAVING
DINNER ON THE

C
YACHT! YACHT?
ce

MEREDITH
U
Li

NOW READY — WHAT?

D
OR NOT NOT!
O
ay

SHOW ME WHAT
YOU’VE GOT!
PR

BOW DEEP
dw

KISS HAND
PULL CHAIR
LOOK BLAND
oa

POUR THE TEA

PASS THE JAM
FO

ARE WE CLEAR? YES MA’AM!

Br

(BAT BOY spills the tea and dishes go flying. BAT BOY panics.
MEREDITH calms him.)
T
O

MEREDITH BAT BOY

I’LL SHOW YOU A THING
N

OR TWO [SNIFF ]
DON’T CRY, IT’S OKAY, DEAR; [SNIFF, SNIFF ]
ROME’S NOT BUILT IN A DAY
DEAR HAH?
A BIT MORE SCHOOLING;

51
 (Wiping his drool off her shoulder.)

MEREDITH (CONT’D)
A LOT LESS DROOLING

MEREDITH/SHELLEY

al
EASY DOES IT, THAT’S HOW
IT’S DONE

s
SOON YOU’LL PICK UP YOUR

ru
CUE
THEN WHADDAYA KNOW

Pe
YOU MAY
SHOW US A THING OR TWO!

(PARKER enters with a doctor’s bag.)

N
ng

O
PARKER
Honey, I’m home! i
ns

TI
SHELLEY

C
Hi, Daddy! How was work?
ce

PARKER
U
Li

Great! How is Edgar coming along?

D
O
ay

MEREDITH
This week’s been a little rocky.
PR
dw

SHELLEY
We’re trying flash cards!
oa

(They produce flash cards with pictures. BAT BOY guesses:)

FO

BAT BOY
Br

CHAMPS ELYSÉES?

MEREDITH
T

PARTHENON
O

BAT BOY
N

GREAT WHITE WAY?

SHELLEY
EVERGLADES

52
 BAT BOY
BERLIN WALL?

PARKER
AUTOBAHN

al
BAT BOY
CARNEGIE HALL?

s
ru
MEREDITH
ICE CAPADES

Pe
BAT BOY
PENTAGON?

N
ng
SHELLEY

O
GOLDEN GATE
i
ns

TI
BAT BOY
AMAZON?

C
ce

PARKER
RIO GRANDE
U
Li

D
BAT BOY
O
ay

TAJ MAJAL!
PR

SHELLEY
dw

EMPIRE STATE

BAT BOY
oa

WAILING WALL?
FO

MEREDITH
Br

DISNEYLAND

(BAT BOY weeps in defeat. PARKER takes him aside.)

T
O

PARKER
Perhaps I should have a word with the boy. Let me talk to him over here for a moment!
N

I’LL SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO

SURE, KID, YOU FEEL WEARY
HEAD’S ALL FUZZY AND BLEARY
I KNOW YOU’RE LEERY

53
 PARKER (CONT’D)
BUT HERE’S MY THEORY:

(PARKER pulls a rat from his bag and breaks its neck. BAT BOY
feeds on its head, taking several strong swallows of blood.)

al
KEEP SLUGGIN’, THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE
SOON YOU’RE BOUND TO BREAK THROUGH!

s
AND WHADDAYA KNOW, YOU MAY —

ru
BAT BOY

Pe
Wait a minute!

PARKER/MEREDITH
WHADDAYA KNOW, YOU MAY —

N
ng

O
BAT BOY
I think I’ve got it! i
ns

TI
PARKER/MEREDITH/SHELLEY

C
WHADDAYA KNOW, YOU MAY —
ce

BAT BOY
U
Li

Eureka!
D
O
ay

PARKER/MEREDITH/SHELLEY
Show me!
PR
dw

(BAT BOY, evolving at a lightning pace, rapidly identifies flash

cards, photographs, videotapes, records:)
oa

BAT BOY
BROOKLYN BRIDGE
FO

LENIN’S TOMB
Br

WATERGATE
RAINBOW ROOM!
RUBY RIDGE, LIBERTY BELL!
T

BERING STRAIT, BATES MOTEL!

O

SPARTACUS, FARGO AND ANCHORS AWEIGH

LOVE STORY, KEY LARGO, REMAINS OF THE DAY!
N

PUCCINI, COLE PORTER, ROSSINI, OTELLO

BELLINI, WAYNE SHORTER AND ELVIS COSTELLO!

(Dance break with whooping.)

54
 SHELLEY
Mom, Edgar just finished his essay for his high-school equivalency exam!

BAT BOY
(Produces a blue examination booklet and reads.)
I WILL DISCUSS COPERNICUS, WHO RUINED ALL OUR FUN

al
AND SHOWED WE’RE JUST A BALL OF DUST THAT LIMPS
AROUND THE SUN

s
WHICH BRINGS ME THEN TO DARWIN, WHEN HE BENT US OUT

ru
OF SHAPE
AS HE BEGAN TO PROVE THAT MAN IS NEPHEW TO AN APE

Pe
WE WERE ANNOYED WHEN DOCTOR FREUD DECLARED IT’S
NOT A SOUL
IT IS YOUR BLIND SUBCONSCIOUS MIND THAT’S ALWAYS IN
CONTROL

N
ng
BUT I SUBMIT THAT ANY TWIT, IF HE HAS EYES TO SEE

O
CAN SEIZE HIS FATE; SELF-EDUCATE; AND TURN OUT JUST LIKE
ME! i
ns

TI
(PARKERs cheer. BAT BOY runs offstage. A chorus appears.)

C
ce

ALL
SHIRT, SHOES, PANTS, VEST
U
Li

CAN’T GO OUT THERE UNDERDRESSED

D
COLLAR PRESSED, LOOK YOUR BEST
O
ay

AND WON’T THEY BE IMPRESSED!, CAUSE:

PR

(BAT BOY reenters wearing cap and gown.)

dw

BAT BOY PARKERS/CHORUS

I’LL SHOW ’EM YOU’LL SHOW ’EM
oa

A THING OR TWO A THING OR TWO

FO

I WAS DIRTY AND ROWDY, ROWDY!

Br

EVEN DRESSED A BIT

DOWDY DOWDY!
BUT NOW SAY: “HOWDY”!
T

TO A SUMMA CUM LAUDE! SUMMA CUM LAUDE!

O

I’LL SHOW ’EM THE YOU’LL SHOW ’EM THE

WAY IT’S DONE WAY IT’S DONE
N

BUT NO APPLAUSE BUT NO APPLAUSE,

I’M NOT THROUGH! HE’S NOT THROUGH!
I’M GONNA VINCE VAN
GOGH ’EM AND HENRY THOREAU ’EM
AND PLATO AND CATO

55
 BAT BOY (CONT’D) PARKERS/CHORUS (CONT’D)
AND EDGAR ALLAN POE ’EM,
GONNA JEAN COCTEAU ’EM,
AND JACQUES COUSTEAU
’EM FELLINI
HOUDINI AND MICHELANGELO ’EM

al
GONNA JACKIE O ’EM MARILYN MONROE ’EM
BOTTICELLI MACHIAVELLI

s
LARRY, CURLY AND MOE

ru
’EM!
AND WHADDAYA KNOW

Pe
ONCE YOU — LEARN TO CRAWL, AH! …
YOU SUDDENLY GROW TO
BE — TEN FEET TALL AH! …
SO BUDDY, I’M GOING TO

N
ng
SHOW ’EM ALL A THING … SHOW ’EM ALL A THING …

O
OR … OR …
TWO! i YOU’LL SHOW ’EM A
ns

TI
THING OR TWO!
OR TWO! YOU’LL SHOW ’EM A

C
THING OR TWO!
ce

OR TWO! YOU’LL SHOW ’EM A

U
THING OR TWO!
Li

D
ALL
O
ay

SHOW ’EM A THING OR TWO!

PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

56
 SCENE 8

(Hope Falls Town Hall. SHERIFF, MAGGIE, BUD, JACKIE,

LORRAINE, ROY, PARKER.)

CROWD

al
(Ad-lib hubbub.)
It’ll be a disaster. / What’s the speaking order? / I think I speak first.

s
ru
MAGGIE
Settle down! I hereby call this special meeting of the Town Council to order. Item One.

Pe
Let’s discuss safety issues as they relate to this weekend’s Revival Meeting. Sheriff?

SHERIFF
Okey-doke. Dr. Parker, thank you for coming here tonight. Let me get right to the point.

N
ng
There’s a sense of unease … afoot. No one’s saying anything against you, but, well … It’s

O
important for the moment … for the revival. We thought maybe you could just take the
boy out of town for the weekend.
i
ns

TI
PARKER

C
I can assure all of you as a veterinarian that the boy is not a danger. Edgar is not the same
ce

wild creature you brought to my home, Sheriff. Meredith has done wonders with him.
Why, he’s practically a member of the family.
U
Li

D
BUD
O
ay

Oh, for Pete’s sake, we got Ruthie Taylor still in the hospital, she’s just not getting any
better, and I’ve got a sinking suspicion that your Bat Boy is responsible for the cattle
PR

plague!
dw

SHERIFF
— Now, Bud, there’s no evidence that links —
oa

BUD
FO

Sheriff — if you don’t start whistling the right tune...

Br

#11 CHRISTIAN CHARITY REPRISE

T

BUD (CONT’D)
O

I’ve got half a mind to run against you come election day.
N

(Big hubbub.)

SHERIFF
Pipe down, people!

57
 (Pulling DR. PARKER aside.)

SHERIFF (CONT’D)
Dr. Parker …

SHERIFF

al
(Aside to PARKER.)
IT’S NOT ABOUT THESE DUMB ELECTIONS

s
ru
PARKER
Never said it was.

Pe
SHERIFF
DON’T WANT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE

N
ng
PARKER

O
Of course, nobody does.
i
ns

TI
SHERIFF
(Louder for everyone’s benefit.)

C
BUT SOME OF MY CONSTIT’CHENS
ce

CLAIM HE’S SKULKIN’ THROUGH THEIR KITCHENS

AND SOON I MAY HAVE NO RECOURSE
U
Li

BUT TO ENFORCE THE LAW! —

D
O
ay

BUD
With deadly force!
PR
dw

(Hubbub.)

LORRAINE BUD
oa

SO THERE IT IS, DOC

SPELLED OUT PLAIN
FO

So are we clear?
Br

MAGGIE
YOU WILL TAKE NO ACTION
T

THAT COULD DERAIL THIS

O

TRAIN You hear?

N

MAGGIE/ROY/LORRAINE/ TOWNSFOLK
NED/SHERIFF
YOU SHOULD JUST BE GRATEFUL
WE DON’T HANG HIM FROM A TREE — YEAH!
SO DON’T YOU GO TESTIN’ OUR SO DON’T YOU GO

58
 MAGGIE/ROY/LORRAINE/ TOWNSFOLK (CONT’D)
NED/SHERIFF (CONT’D)
TESTIN’ OUR
CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN
CHARITY! CHARITY!
SO SHIP HIM SO SHIP HIM

al
OUT, DOC OUT, DOC
DON’T CARE DON’T CARE

s
WHERE WHERE

ru
We think that’s fair!

Pe
TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME
BECAUSE —

N
ng
ROY

O
He’s foulin’ the air!
i
ns

TI
BUD
I swear!

C
ce

MAGGIE/ROY/LORRAINE/ TOWNSFOLK
NED/SHERIFF
U
Li

DOC, WE NEED DOC, WE NEED

D
A QUARANTINE A QUARANTINE
O
ay

WE WANT A WE WANT A
GUARANTEE GUARANTEE …
PR

HE CAN’T BE ALLOWED TO COME

dw

He’ll cause pandemonium!

oa

SO SHAPE UP SO SHAPE UP
AND SHOW AND SHOW
FO

US SOME US SOME
Br

CHRISTIAN — CHRISTIAN —

PARKER
T

— This is going to be hard on Meredith. But I give you my word. Edgar will not attend the
O

revival.
N

BUD
Your word of honor?

PARKER
My word of honor.

59
 BUD
Well. All right.

(BUD dramatically extends his hand. PARKER shakes it.)

SHERIFF

al
Oh, now that’s just great. I knew you’d be reasonable about this.

s
(Everyone ad-libs “thank-yous” and shakes Dr. Parker’s hand as he

ru
exits.)

Pe
CROWD
Thank you, Dr. Parker. / Glad we worked it out. / You’re a good man, Dr. Parker.

ALL BUT PARKER

N
ng
THANK GOD YOU’LL BE SHOWIN’ SOME CHRISTIAN CHARITY

O
(Through gritted teeth.)
i
ns

TI
AND SOME DANG SENSE

C
ce

#12 MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

U
Li

D
O
ay

PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

60
 SCENE 9

(Parker home — living room. BAT BOY is standing downstage

wearing linen pants and a light cotton shirt. SHELLEY puts a linen
sport coat on him. She turns him around and looks at him.)

al
SHELLEY
You look great.

s
ru
BAT BOY
(Very proper English accent.)

Pe
Thank you, Shelley, you’re looking splendid yourself.

SHELLEY
You look, like, you’re ready to go to the dance hall in Wheeling.

N
ng

O
BAT BOY
Oh. i
ns

TI
(A bow.)

C
ce

May I have the pleasure, Miss Shelley?

U
Li

SHELLEY
D
(A curtsy.)
O
ay

Why, I’d be delighted, Master Edgar.

PR

(BAT BOY puts both hands on Shelley’s waist. A moment as they

dw

take each other in. SHELLEY recovers first.)

Um … no. It’s like this. Your right hand stays there, but your left goes up here.
oa

BAT BOY
FO

Oh, yes, I see.

Br

(Another moment as they stare into each other’s eyes. They

awkwardly start to dance … In the kitchen MEREDITH readies a tea
T

service.)
O

PARKER
N

It’s just for the weekend.

MEREDITH
I don’t like the Town Council telling me what to do with my family.

61
 PARKER
I know. I don’t either. But these are stubborn people, and we’re not holding many cards,
dear. I think we have to let them win this one.

MEREDITH
Well, I suppose it will be good for Edgar to get away for a few days.

al
PARKER

s
Thank you, Meredith.

ru
(MEREDITH and PARKER enter the living room.)

Pe
MEREDITH
Edgar! Shelley!

N
ng
(BAT BOY and SHELLEY separate. MEREDITH brings a tea

O
service out on a tray and sets it at the head of the table. PARKER
follows.) i
ns

TI
Oh! You’re already here. Don’t you look lovely, Edgar.

C
ce

BAT BOY
Thank you, Mrs. Parker. You’re looking splendid yourself.
U
Li

D
MEREDITH
O
ay

Why, thank you. Those BBC language tapes are really helping your diction.
PR

SHELLEY
dw

And his vocabulary.

BAT BOY
oa

Indubitably.
FO

(All laugh.)
Br

MEREDITH
Come, let’s sit down.
T
O

(PARKER sits at the head of the table, and prepares to pour tea.)
N

BAT BOY
May I serve?

MEREDITH
Of course you may.

62
 (PARKER slides the tea service to BAT BOY as SHELLEY and
MEREDITH take their places at the table. BAT BOY flawlessly
serves tea and sandwiches during the following.)

BAT BOY
You know, I was reading the newspaper this morning.

al
MEREDITH

s
Is that right?

ru
BAT BOY

Pe
Yes. And I noticed that, beginning tomorrow, the Reverend Billy Hightower is holding a
weekend revival. And, as I have just finished reading the Bible again, it would mean so
much to me if I could attend.

N
ng
SHELLEY

O
Yes! That would be so cool. You could wear your new suit and I could wear my new dress.
Oh my God. I can just see everybody’s faces.
i
ns

TI
BAT BOY

C
I did think it would be a nice coming out for me.
ce

#13 A HOME FOR YOU REPRISE U

Li

D
PARKER
O
ay

Actually, we were thinking that maybe we’d go away on a camping trip for the weekend.
Just us? Alone in the woods?
PR
dw

MEREDITH
Wouldn’t that be nice, Edgar?
oa

BAT BOY
FO

Oh, yes! But we can do that anytime. The revival is the social event of the season.
Br

MEREDITH
Oh, Edgar, I feel horrible telling you no, but it just isn’t the right time for that sort of thing.
T

SHELLEY
O

But the way people talk about him, it’s not fair.
N

PARKER
Shelley. This is not up for discussion right now.

63
 BAT BOY
(To SHELLEY.)
What is it that people … say about me?

PARKER
People can be very cruel. It doesn’t mean anything about y —

al
BAT BOY

s
— They say cruel things? Is that it?

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
Some people —

BAT BOY
— they don’t know me.

N
ng

O
PARKER
That’s why they’re so cruel.i
ns

TI
BAT BOY

C
BUT I’M NOT HERE TO HARM THEM
ce

I ONLY WANT TO LEARN

THEY ALL WALK IN SUNLIGHT
U
Li

I DESERVE A TURN
D
I WANT TO KNOW MY NEIGHBORS
O
ay

I’M NOT SOME GARDEN GNOME …

WHY CAN’T I MAKE THIS WORLD MY HOME?
PR
dw

MEREDITH
Edgar, this cannot happen. Not just now. Let’s just … can’t we just have a nice trip to the
woods?
oa

SHELLEY
FO

And when can it happen, Mother? Next week?

Br

MEREDITH
I don’t know.
T
O

SHELLEY
Next month?
N

MEREDITH
Perhaps.

64
 SHELLEY
Next year for sure though, right?

MEREDITH
I can’t say.

al
SHELLEY
Maybe never?

s
ru
PARKER
Shelley …

Pe
SHELLEY
May I be excused?

N
ng
MEREDITH

O
But you haven’t finished your tea, dear.
i
ns

TI
SHELLEY
May I be excused?

C
ce

MEREDITH
(Sighs.)
U
Li

Yes, you’re excused.

D
O
ay

(SHELLEY stomps off.)

PR

Edgar, I’m so sorry —

dw

BAT BOY
They’re saying horrible things about me!
oa

MEREDITH
FO

Oh, Edgar.
Br

BAT BOY
(Getting agitated.)
T

It’s torture to sit here idly while I’m being slandered in public. I can only imagine what
O

they’re saying.
N

PARKER
Edgar, we’re not saying you can’t go out sometime, just not right —

(BAT BOY cuts PARKER off with a wave of his hand.)

65
 BAT BOY
(To MEREDITH.)
SOMETHING WAS TROUBLING ME RECENTLY
WATCHING THE WORLD FROM THIS TABLE
READING AND DREAMING AND GEN’RALLY GROWING MOLD …
BUT TODAY I LOOKED UP JUST IN TIME TO SEE

al
THIS MEDICAL PROGRAM ON CABLE;
ASTONISHED, I RAN TO THE MIRROR AND THERE, BEHOLD!

s
LOOK HERE, I’VE GOT A NAVEL!

ru
(BAT BOY displays his navel. MEREDITH and PARKER are

Pe
confused.)

… IT MEANS I’M SOMEONE’S CHILD

THE DOCTOR MUST HAVE TIED IT WHILE MY MOTHER SMILED …

N
ng
WHICH MEANS I MAY BE HUMAN

O
COMPLETE WITH FAM’LY TREE
AND IF YOU’D LET ME GO AND SEE
i
ns

TI
THIS WORLD MAY BE A HOME FOR …

C
PARKER
ce

Edgar! You have made your request and the answer has been given to you, and that
answer is no. That’s all.
U
Li

D
BAT BOY
O
ay

(Rising furiously.)
I might as well be in a cage! You must allow me to show myself!
PR
dw

MEREDITH
(Softening.)
Oh, Edgar.
oa

PARKER
FO

(Rising also.)
Br

No!

BAT BOY
T

Why not?
O

MEREDITH
N

Edgar, calm yourself, dear.

BAT BOY
Why not!

66
 (His voice changes to a squeal.)

BAT BOY (CONT’D)

Why not? Why not?! WHY NOT!

(BAT BOY loses control of himself and breaks down and cries.)

al
MEREDITH

s
Oh, I can’t bear it. Thomas, can’t we just let him go? Once they meet him for themselves,

ru
they’ll change their minds, don’t you think?

Pe
PARKER
(Stunned.)
Well, no …

N
ng
MEREDITH

O
Sure they will. He’s so charming, and well-spoken. Once they see what a proper young
man he is — i
ns

TI
PARKER

C
No no no no no! Meredith, I’m afraid I have to put my foot down on this. I’ve given my
ce

word of honor.
U
Li

MEREDITH
D
Well, surely that’s not more important than …
O
ay

PARKER
PR

My word of honor, Meredith. This would humiliate me.

dw

MEREDITH
But can’t you see what this means to him?
oa

BAT BOY
FO

… Please, Dr. Parker …

Br

PARKER
I’m putting my foot down. None of us will attend the revival, and that’s final.
T
O

MEREDITH
(Pause.)
N

Fine, don’t go. Shelley and I will go with Edgar.

PARKER
(Approaching her.)
No, I’m putting my foot down.

67
 MEREDITH
Edgar, I’m afraid we’ll have to go without Dr. Parker, but Shelley and I will be there for
you.

BAT BOY
Really?

al
PARKER

s
But I’m putting my foot down.

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
Yes, dear. And the rest of us are going to the revival. It’s settled.

BAT BOY
You’re not too ashamed of me?

N
ng

O
MEREDITH
No, no, Edgar, never. i
ns

TI
PARKER

C
Meredith …
ce

BAT BOY
U
Li

Oh, this is wonderful.

D
O
ay

MEREDITH
(Ignoring PARKER; to BAT BOY, kissing him.)
PR

We’re not ashamed of you, Edgar. We love you. We all love you so much. Don’t you know
dw

that? You do know I love you, don’t you? Say that you do.

PARKER
oa

Meredith …
FO

BAT BOY
Br

I know. I love you, too, Mrs. Parker.

PARKER
T

You made a promise to me.

O

MEREDITH
N

(Kissing him again.)

Oh, Edgar.

68
 PARKER
(Grabbing her.)
How can you do this to me!

(BAT BOY suddenly attacks PARKER. Like an animal, BAT BOY

pounces on PARKER and knocks him to the ground. BAT BOY pins

al
PARKER on the ground and is about to bite him on the neck. He is
poised in this position when MEREDITH speaks, stopping the

s
imminent fatal bite.)

ru
MEREDITH

Pe
No! Edgar, dear. Edgar? Honey, let’s calm down, okay?

BAT BOY
(Still over DR. PARKER.)

N
ng
I, I’m sorry, I —

O
i MEREDITH
ns

TI
I know. Get off Dr. Parker, honey. Come here. Come to me.

C
(BAT BOY finally dismounts PARKER and turns to MEREDITH.)
ce

BAT BOY
U
Li

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

D
O
ay

MEREDITH
It’s all right, come here.
PR
dw

(Embracing him.)

I know, dear. It’s just because you’re hungry. It’s okay now.
oa

BAT BOY
FO

I don’t know what happened to me.

Br

MEREDITH
(To BAT BOY.)
T

Are you all right?

O

PARKER
N

(Getting up.)
Yes, I’m fine, it’s just a —

(Sees MEREDITH is not paying attention to him.)

69
 PARKER (CONT’D)
Oh.

#14 PARKER’S EPIPHANY

MEREDITH

al
(To BAT BOY.)
It’s okay. Edgar, I love you so much.

s
ru
PARKER
(Quietly.)

Pe
AND SO AT LAST I KNOW
YOU WENT AND LIED TO ME …

N
MEREDITH

ng
(To BAT BOY.)

O
We’ll get you some food and you’ll be okay.
i
ns

TI
PARKER
I SAY BRAVO;

C
ce

I WAS FOOLED QUITE A WHILE

MEREDITH U
Li

D
(To PARKER.)
I think it’s time for Edgar’s medication.
O
ay

PARKER
PR

(With growing rage.)

dw

THOUGH YOU CAME BACK TO MY ARMS

MEREDITH
oa

(To BAT BOY.)

FO

Everything will be all right, sweetheart.

Br

PARKER
YOU’VE ALWAYS LOVED HIM MUCH MORE;
T

MEREDITH
O

(She kisses him; standing up.)

N

So, tomorrow we’ll go to the revival.

PARKER
AND EV’RY VOW THAT YOU SWORE
WAS AS FALSE AS YOUR SMILE! …

70
 MEREDITH
Edgar, I just know that when everyone sees you for who you really are, it’s all going to be
be okay. Don’t you think so, Thomas?

PARKER
(Smiling.)

al
Yes. Yes, I do. Sure, it’ll work out. Why, it’s gonna be great!

s
BAT BOY

ru
Really?

Pe
MEREDITH
Really?

PARKER

N
ng
Of course! We’ll show them what Edgar’s made of. They’ll all see it. It’ll be fine!

O
i MEREDITH
ns

TI
Right, exactly!

C
BAT BOY
ce

This is so lovely.
U
Li

PARKER
D
I have to do a little work at the lab in the morning, but I’ll meet you there. And if anybody
O
ay

has a problem with Edgar, by God, they’re going to have to answer to Dr. Parker!
PR

MEREDITH
dw

Did you hear that, Edgar?

PARKER
oa

Meredith, why don’t you run up and tell Shelley the good news, and I’ll give Edgar his
medication?
FO
Br

MEREDITH
All right. Well, this is wonderful! Thank you, Thomas.
T

PARKER
O

(Approaching her.)
Things are really turning around for us, aren’t they?
N

MEREDITH
(Turning to BAT BOY; kisses him.)
I love you, Edgar. This is all going to be fine, you’ll see.

71
 BAT BOY
Thank you, Mrs. Parker.

#15 COMFORT AND JOY

(Exit MEREDITH. PARKER stares after her. Pause.)

al
I’m sorry I hurt you.

s
ru
PARKER
(Beat.)

Pe
Are you hungry, Edgar?

(BAT BOY sobs.)

N
ng
You’re crying. Why are you crying?

O
i BAT BOY
ns

TI
Because I’m hungry.

C
ce

PARKER
You know that I’ll feed you.
U
Li

D
BAT BOY
I know. Dr. Parker, in Genesis 9, verse 4, God says to Noah, “Blood shall ye not eat.”
O
ay

PARKER
PR

Hmm. Well, that’s pretty clear, isn’t it?

dw

BAT BOY
A commandment from God Himself! Do you think I’ll ever be able to stop?
oa

R
FO

PARKER
Br

Do you think you can?

BAT BOY
T

Yes. Maybe.
O

PARKER
N

Well, if you think you can, perhaps you can. It’s all a matter of will power, I suppose.

(Sets down doctor’s bag.)

But, then again, if it’s part of your nature, that’s a tougher problem for you.

72
 (PARKER opens the doctor’s bag, revealing a live rabbit.)

BAT BOY
(Horrified.)
It’s not dead.

al
PARKER
Hmm?

s
ru
BAT BOY
It’s not dead.

Pe
PARKER
Oh. Yes. Well, you don’t need me to kill it for you, do you? Hey, perhaps this would be a
good time to test yourself. Can you resist?

N
ng

O
(BAT BOY whines.)
i
ns

TI
Try Psalm 23.

C
BAT BOY
ce

Oh, yes. I see. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear
U
no evil. For Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a
Li

table before me in the presence of mine enemies.”

D
O
ay

(PARKER pulls a syringe from his doctor’s bag and he stands behind
BAT BOY. The VOICES in Parker’s head appear and gather behind
PR

PARKER.)
dw

PARKER VOICES IN HIS HEAD

YOU LITTLE CREEP
oa

I WON’T BE SHOVED OUT OF THE WAY.

OH NO … OH NO!
FO

OH NO … OH NO
Br

AND I COULD MAKE A SOLID CASE

FOR SMASHING IN YOUR FILTHY FACE KILL HIM!
T

(To VOICES:)
O

SHUT UP … KILL HIM!

N

SHUT UP! …
I’VE GOT A SPADE AND A BURLAP SACK! KILL HIM NOW!
AND THERE’S A HOLE
IN THE YARD OUT BACK KILL HIM NOW!
BUT IF I FILL IT SHE’LL ASK ME “WHY,”

73
 PARKER (CONT’D) VOICES IN HIS HEAD (CONT’D)
KILL HIM NOW!
SO I’VE GOT ONE THING TO DO
BEFORE YOU DIE … NOW … NOW …

(To VOICES.)

al
WAIT!

s
ru
(To BAT BOY.)

Pe
SHE WILL SEE WHAT YOU ARE.
I WILL WIN BACK MY BRIDE MY BRIDE
SHE HERSELF WILL DECIDE
TO GET RID OF THE BOY RID OF THE BOY

N
ng
SHE’LL ADMIT SHE WAS WRONG WAS WRONG

O
SHE’LL RETURN BEFORE LONG ’FORE LONG
SHE’LL BE SINGING A SONG
i A SONG …
ns

TI
FULL OF COMFORT AND JOY
COMFORT AND

C
JOY. COMFORT
ce

AND JOY!
COMFORT AND JOY!
U
Li

COMFORT AND
D
JOY! COMFORT
O
ay

AND JOY! COMFORT

AND JOY!
PR

KILL THE BAT BOY

dw

KILL THE BAT BOY!

(Lights down on PARKER and BAT BOY. Lights up on SHELLEY

oa

and MEREDITH. MEREDITH is ironing Shelley’s Sunday dress.

SHELLEY is looking on suspiciously.)
FO
Br

MEREDITH SHELLEY
OH, HONEY, I APOLOGIZE:
YOU’VE REALLY OPENED UP MY EYES NO WAY
T

YES WAY! NO WAY!

O

YES WAY!
I’M LAYING OUT YOUR SUNDAY BEST,
N

NOW BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET

SOME REST
ALL RIGHT? NO WAY!
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
NOW WHEN THEY SEE HIM

74
 MEREDITH (CONT’D) SHELLEY (CONT’D)
THEY’LL MAKE A FUSS Is that true?
WE GOTTA SMILE LIKE WE
JUST DON’T CARE That’s not fair!
THEY PUT THEIR PANTS ON
THE SAME AS US Yes they do …

al
SO JUST IMAGINE THEM
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR … AND THEN THIS

s
TIME I SWEAR …

ru
HE WILL SHOW THAT HE’S NOT HE’S NOT —
WHAT THEY’RE TERRIFIED OF ’FIED OF —

Pe
HE WILL SHOW THEM A LOVE A LOVE —
THEY CAN NEVER DESTROY NEVER DESTROY

MEREDITH/SHELLEY PARKER/VOICES

N
ng
IF WE PROVE THAT THEY’RE WRONG

O
THEY’LL COME ’ROUND BEFORE LONG
AND WE’LL ALL SING A SONG
i
ns

TI
FULL OF COMFORT AND JOY
COMFORT AND

C
JOY! YEAH!
ce

COMFORT AND JOY!

COMFORT
U COMFORT
Li

AND JOY! AND …

D
COMFORT
O
ay

AND JOY!
COMFORT
PR

AND JOY!
dw

COMFORT
AND JOY!
COMFORT
oa

AND JOY!
FO

PARKER
Br

STOP THE BAT BOY!

(Lights on SHERIFF and TOWNSPEOPLE, arguing.)

T
O

SHERIFF
Settle down, people! We want to make sure the Revival goes off without a hitch, so let’s go
N

over the schedule. Listen up:

FROM NINE TO TWELVE HE DOES THE HEALING:

75
 NED
Sheriff …

MAGGIE
You hush up.

al
SHERIFF
AT NOON HE’LL BLESS THE FIELDS AND PLOWS

s
ru
ROY
Tractors too?

Pe
MAGGIE
Hush up!

N
ng
SHERIFF

O
THEN LUNCH IS AT ONE-THIRTY …
i
ns

TI
NED
Sheriff, what about my Gertie!

C
ce

MAGGIE
Hush!
U
Li

D
SHERIFF
O
ay

AND AS IT SEEMS THAT TIME ALLOWS

PR

THREE TO TEN: THE BLESSING OF THE COWS!

dw

ALL
YES! THE BLESSING OF THE COWS!
oa

BOY, THAT PREACHER’S A PRO!

GIVES A HECKUVA SHOW!
FO
Br

LORRAINE
Just like Siegfried and Roy!
T

ALL
O

HE’LL BRING COMFORT AND JOY!

SO IF NOTHING GOES WRONG
N

YES, IF NOTHING GOES WRONG

LORD, IF NOTHING GOES WRONG
WE’LL HAVE COMFORT AND JOY!
COMFORT AND JOY! COMFORT AND JOY!
LORD, WE NEED SOME COMFORT AND JOY!

76
 ALL (CONT’D)
ANY MEANS YOU’D CARE TO EMPLOY
WON’T YOU SEND US COMFORT AND JOY!

(Lights on BAT BOY, kneeling on the table with the rabbit before
him. He clumsily puts his hands together, trying to pray.)

al
#15A COMFORT AND JOY – PART 2

s
ru
BAT BOY
Dear God:

Pe
I’M STILL NOT SURE HOW PEOPLE PRAY
OR WHAT ONE DOES WITH ONE’S HANDS

N
BUT PLEASE, MY THIRST GROWS EVERY

ng
DAY

O
I FEEL IT BURN IN MY GLANDS
i
PLEASE WON’T YOU CHANGE THE WAY
ns

TI
I AM
OR PROVE I’M HUMAN UNDERNEATH;

C
ce

BATBOY
OR IF YOU JUST DON’T GIVE A DAMN U ENSEMBLE
OO …
Li

D
(BAT BOY grabs his incisors, exposing his scary fangs.)
O
ay

YOU COULD AT LEATHT GET RID

PR

OF THEETHE? AAHH!..
dw

IF I CAN’T PROVE THEM WRONG AH!..

SHOW ME WHERE I BELONG AH! …
FOR A HUNGER SO STRONG AH! …
oa

KILLS ALL COMFORT AND COMFORT AND

FO

JOY JOY!
Br

IF YOU’D MAKE ME COMPLETE

I’LL AVOID ALL RED MEAT
I’LL EAT NOTHING BUT SOY
T

TO HAVE COMFORT COMFORT

AND … AND …
O
N

(PARKER appears in his coat, carrying his doctor’s bag.)

PARKER BAT BOY/TOWNSFOLK/

SHERIFF
BY NEXT WEEK YOU’LL BE GONE … JOY …
SIX FEET UNDER MY LAWN

77
 PARKER (CONT’D) BAT BOY/TOWNSFOLK/
SHERIFF (CONT’D)
I’LL HAVE NOBODY TOY
WITH MY COMFORT AND … COMFORT
AND …

al
(MEREDITH tucks SHELLEY in.)

s
MEREDITH/SHELLEY BAT BOY/TOWNSFOLK

ru
SHERIFF/PARKER
HE WILL COME OUT A CHAMP … JOY …

Pe
IT’S JUST LIKE SUMMER CAMP
THEY’LL GET USED TO THE BOY
HE’LL BRING COMFORT AND … COMFORT
AND …

N
ng

O
(TOWNSFOLK cling to each other and pray.)
i
ns

TI
TOWNSFOLK BAT BOY/SHERIFF/PARKER/
MEREDITH/SHELLEY

C
GOD, PLEASE GIVE US YOUR WORD. … JOY …
ce

CURE THE PLAGUE ON THE HERD

WE DON’T MEAN TO ANNOY
U
Li

BUT SEND COMFORT AND … COMFORT AND

D
O
ay

(BAT BOY is triumphing over hunger. He embraces the rabbit.)

PR

BAT BOY ENSEMBLE

dw

JOY, COMFORT AND JOY JOY, JOY, JOY!

COMFORT AND JOY! COMFORT AND
JOY! JOY, JOY …
oa

COMFORT
AND JOY!
FO

COMFORT
Br

AND JOY!
COMFORT AND
JOY! COMFORT
T

AND …
O

(PARKER approaches BAT BOY. With his knife he slashes the

N

rabbit’s neck. Blood. BAT BOY watches in horrified slow motion.

PARKER walks across the stage to Ruthie’s hospital room, where she
is in bed.)

78
 RUTHIE
Dr. Parker, what are you doing here?

PARKER
(With syringe.)
It’s not me, Ruthie. The Bat Boy is doing this to you. He’s a beast. He’s a monster. He can’t

al
control himself. We’re all going to miss you very much.
(PARKER injects RUTHIE.)

s
ru
RUTHIE
(Scared.)

Pe
Dr. Parker, what are you doing?

PARKER
Don’t worry. The Bat Boy will be punished for doing this to you, Ruthie. I’ll see to that.

N
ng

O
(She convulses.)
i
ns

TI
CHORUS
COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY

C
COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY
ce

COMFORT AND JOY! COMFORT AND JOY!

AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
U
Li

D
(RUTHIE dies. BAT BOY bites the rabbit. Blood.)
O
ay

ALL
PR

AH AH AH AH!
dw

AH AH AH AH!
AH AH AH AH AH AH
AAAAAAHHH!!!
oa

(Blackout.)
FO
Br

T
O
N

79
 ACT TWO

SCENE 1

(Revival tent. A cross. Spotlight on REVEREND HIGHTOWER. He

tries heroically to lift the spirits of the demoralized Hope Falls. This is

al
an uphill battle.)

s
#16 A JOYFUL NOISE

ru
REV. HIGHTOWER

Pe
OH, THE SHEEP HAS RETURNED TO THE FOLD
AND THE PRODIGAL SON HAS COME IN FROM THE COLD
SO LIKE THE PROPHETS WERE TOLD IN THE DAYS OF OLD

N
MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE, MY SOUL!!!

ng

O
i TOWNSFOLK
(Mumbling weakly.)
ns

TI
… MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE, MY SOUL …

C
ce

REV. HIGHTOWER TOWNSFOLK

OH, THE LION WILL LIE DOWN
WITH THE LAMB U ON THAT
Li

D
BRIGHT NEW
DAY …
O
ay

AND THE SINNER WILL WALK

HAND IN HAND WITH ABRAHAM HE WILL SHOW
PR

THE WAY …
dw

AND HE WILL CRY TO THE SKY

“JESUS, HERE I AM!” HERE I AM!
MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE, MY SOUL!
oa

R
FO

(Listening to HIGHTOWER, the TOWNSFOLK miss their cue.)

Br

… HELLO? … FUL NOISE

MY SOUL!
T

MAKE SOME MAKE SOME

NOISE! NOISE!
O

MAKE SOME MAKE SOME

N

NOISE! NOISE!
MAKE SOME NOISE! HALLELUJAH
MY SOUL IS
WHOLE!
SING IT LOUD! SING IT PROUD
SING IT STRONG ALL NIGHT

80
 REV. HIGHTOWER (CONT’D) TOWNSFOLK (CONT’D)
LONG!
MAKE A JOYFUL MAKE SOME
NOISE NOISE
A JOYFUL NOISE JOYFUL NOISE
MY SOUL! MY SOUL!

al
All right, let’s bring it down, let’s bring it down.

s
ru
(The band brings it down.)

Pe
I know there’s someone out there. Someone who needs healing. I can feel your distress.
You’ve got a sin … within! Step forward! Let the Holy Ghost heal you! The Holy Ghost is
commanding you! He’s putting a fire under your seat now. There’s a fire under your seat.
Mmmm now, feel it. No fear. Who wants the healing?

N
ng

O
(BAT BOY, MEREDITH and SHELLEY enter, wearing their
Sunday best. They stop just inside the entrance. The congregation
i
ns

TI
gasps. BAT BOY steps forward. The music falters.)

C
BAT BOY
ce

I want to be healed.
U
Li

REV. HIGHTOWER
D
(Staring at him in horror.)
O
ay

Oh, my Lord. Oh, Jesus, Son of God.

PR

CONGREGATION
dw

(Whispering.)
I can’t believe it!/He showed up here?/We had an agreement.
oa

REV. HIGHTOWER
(To congregation.)
FO

Now, hold on, hold on. Let’s bring it down, bring it down.
Br

(They quiet down; to BAT BOY.)

T

You’ve got something bad in you, don’t you, son?

O

BAT BOY
N

Yes.

REV. HIGHTOWER
And you want the healing.

81
 BAT BOY
Yes. I do.

REV. HIGHTOWER
(Beat.)
Well, come on down!

al
#16A COME ON DOWN!

s
ru
(Music. BAT BOY comes on down.)

Pe
CROWD
(Ad-lib.)
Oh my Lordy! / This can’t be happening. / I’m going to faint.

N
ng
REV. HIGHTOWER

O
Come on down, come on down! i
ns

TI
(BAT BOY arrives.)

C
ce

Well, look at you! You’ve got a hunger, don’t you son? It’s eating you up. It’s gnawing a
hole in your soul.
U
Li

D
BAT BOY
Yes.
O
ay

REV. HIGHTOWER
PR

Are you ready for the healing? Are you ready for the healing?
dw

BAT BOY
Yes.
oa

R
FO

(Bursts into tears.)

Br

Yes! Yes!
T

(The PREACHER lays his hands on Bat Boy’s head. He closes his
eyes. He is deep in concentration. Music swells. Suddenly he opens
O

his eyes and takes his hands off of Bat Boy’s head. Music comes to a
N

halt. He speaks very quietly.)

REV. HIGHTOWER
I hear the Holy Ghost talking to me. He says there’s someone in this room who doesn’t
want this boy to be healed. Can that be right? Is there someone here tonight who does not
want healing for this boy?

82
 (Dead silence. And more dead silence. BAT BOY looks out at the
congregation.)

BAT BOY
(To congregation.)
I know …

al
(Clears throat.)

s
ru
… I know you hate me. But I have to believe that it’s because you don’t know me. If you
could see me … I mean, if you could really see me the way I see all of you …

Pe
#17 LET ME WALK AMONG YOU

N
BAT BOY

ng
LOOK AT ALL YOUR FACES

O
CHILDREN, HUSBANDS, WIVES
i
GOD, YOU’RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL
ns

TI
I ENVY YOU YOUR LIVES!
GOING TO WORK

C
ce

BUILDING YOUR SCHOOLS

THROWING A FOOTBALL
OR SWIMMING IN POOLS U
Li

D
OUT IN THE SUN
LIVING BY RULES
O
ay

I COULD LEARN HOW IF YOU’D TEACH ME THE TOOLS!

I KNOW I’M STRANGE
PR

SO HELP ME CHANGE
dw

PLEASE

LET ME WALK AMONG YOU

oa

LET ME SHOW MY FACE

FO

I COULD LEARN TO LIVE WITH YOU

Br

I CAN EARN MY PLACE

I WILL MOVE A MOUNTAIN;
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND
T

AND SOME DAY YOU MAY WANT TO SHAKE MY HAND

O

I WILL PAINT YOUR HOUSES

N

I’LL MILK YOUR COWS AT DAWN

I WILL DO YOUR LAUNDRY
AND I WILL MOW YOUR LAWN
LET ME FILE YOUR TAXES
I AM A CPA;
AND MAYBE THEN YOU’LL SHAKE MY HAND SOME DAY

83
 BAT BOY (CONT’D)
I CAN GROW A CHAMPION ROSE
OR TEACH A YOGA CLASS
I MYSELF DESIGNED THESE CLOTHES;
I CAN DO MY PART!
MUST I DIE THEN WITH MY NOSE

al
STILL PRESSED AGAINST THE GLASS? …
BUT IF YOU’D SHAKE MY HAND, WELL

s
THAT’S A START

ru
YES, THAT’S A START
LOOK IN YOUR HEART

Pe
AND:
LET ME JOIN YOUR CARPOOL
NO, LET ME DRIVE THE CAR
LET ME THROW A BARBECUE

N
ng
OR JOIN YOU AT THE BAR

O
COME AND WATCH THE BALLGAME
I’LL BAKE A PECAN PIE
i
ns

TI
AND I WILL SHAKE YOUR HAND WHEN YOU DROP BY
OH, BRING ME TO YOUR CHURCHES

C
AND LET ME LOOK INSIDE
ce

BRING ME TO YOUR WEDDINGS

AND LET ME KISS THE BRIDE!
U
Li

D
(Long pause. BAT BOY realizes he’s blown it. Very softly:)
O
ay

THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING

PR

THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY …

dw

(He turns to leave, takes a few steps. He stops, turns back.)

oa

BUT PLEASE, WILL SOMEONE SHAKE MY HAND

WON’T SOMEBODY TAKE MY HAND
FO

LET JUST ONE PERSON SHAKE MY HAND …

Br

#18 A JOYFUL NOISE REPRISE

T

ALL
O

OKAY!
N

BAT BOY
Okay?

ALL
OKAY!

84
 BAT BOY
Okay?

ALL
OKAY!

al
BAT BOY
Okay?

s
ru
ALL
OKAYYY!

Pe
(REV. HIGHTOWER shakes Bat Boy’s hand. They embrace. Gospel
music. The entire congregation embraces and congratulates BAT
BOY. Celebration.)

N
ng

O
ALL
PRAISE GOD, THE SHEEP HAS RETURNED TO THE FOLD
i
ns

TI
AND THE PRODIGAL SON HAS COME IN FROM THE COLD

C
BAT BOY
ce

SO LIKE THE PROPHETS WERE TOLD

U
Li

BAT BOY/TOWNSFOLK
D
IN THE DAYS OF OLD
O
MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE, MY SOUL,
ay

MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE, MY SOUL!

PR
dw

BAT BOY TOWNSFOLK/REV. HIGHTOWER

MAKE SOME NOISE MAKE SOME NOISE!
MAKE SOME NOISE! MAKE SOME NOISE!
oa

MAKE SOME NOISE! HALLELUJAH

MY SOUL IS WHOLE! MY SOUL IS WHOLE!
FO

SING IT LOUD! SING IT PROUD

Br

SING IT STRONG ALL NIGHT LONG!

ALL
T

MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE

O

A JOYFUL NOISE MY SOUL

A JOYFUL NOISE MY SOUL
N

A JOYFUL NOISE MY SOUL

A JOYFUL NOISE
MY SOUL!
AMEN!

85
 #18A A JOYFUL NOISE - PLAYOFF

REV. HIGHTOWER
Amen! Amen! Thank you all for coming. God bless you. Our souls are full, but our bellies
are empty…

al
(Moves to exit.)

s
…so we have barbecue and lemonade outside. Praise Jesus!

ru
(THE REVEREND exits swiftly. PARKER enters, drunk.)

Pe
PARKER
There’s something you all should know!

N
ng
(Crowd turns to stare at him; he walks up the aisle to stage as crowd

O
murmurs.) i
ns

TI
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I have some terrible news. Please, quiet down, I have some terrible
news. It’s about Edgar.

C
ce

(Arrives at stage; sighs.)

U
Li

D
I was working in my laboratory last night, studying a sample of Edgar’s saliva. I made a
startling discovery. This morning I rushed to the hospital to see if the state of Ruthie
O
ay

Taylor’s wound confirmed my suspicions. Unfortunately, I discovered that Ruthie Taylor

died in the night.
PR
dw

#19 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

oa

(Crowd gasps.)
FO

Her death was due to a bizarre and unprecedented infection, an infection caused by
Br

Edgar’s bite.

MEREDITH
T

No!
O

PARKER
N

I’m so sorry. Edgar is … deadly. Deadly to Ruthie. And to cattle.

BUD
I knew it! He’s the cause of the plague!

(Crowd murmur builds throughout the following.)

86
 PARKER
I’m sorry, Meredith.

BAT BOY
That girl is dead?

al
MEREDITH
(To BAT BOY.)

s
It’s not your fault, sweetheart. This must be a mistake.

ru
PARKER

Pe
It’s true, my love. It’s true. I’m so sorry. I’ve called the Institute in Wheeling. They’re
coming to take him off our hands.

(Approaching her.)

N
ng

O
I know it’s difficult to accept all this, but we’ll get through it together.
i
ns

TI
MEREDITH
(Backing off.)

C
The Institute? This is madness.
ce

BAT BOY
U
Li

I never meant to hurt anybody.

D
O
ay

PARKER
(Still approaching her.)
PR

Oh, sweetheart, I’ll be here for you.

dw

MEREDITH
What are you doing?
oa

PARKER
FO

Don’t worry. Our love will get us through.

Br

MEREDITH
Get your hands off me!
T
O

PARKER
That’s right, let it out.
N

87
 MEREDITH
(To crowd.)
Please! Everyone! It’s true Edgar was not civilized when he was first captured, but that’s
because he was a cornered animal back then. Since then … I mean, look at him. You all just
heard him. Can’t you see that he’s not a danger to any of us?

al
PARKER
Forgive her. She’s taken to the boy!

s
ru
(Enter RICK, RON and MRS. TAYLOR.)

Pe
RICK
(Going for BAT BOY.)
I’m gonna kill that freak!

N
ng
MRS. TAYLOR

O
Ruthie’s dead!!! He killed her! That freak killed my daughter!
i
ns

TI
BUD
(Stopping RICK.)

C
Hang on there.
ce

RON
U
Li

Let me at him!
D
O
ay

NED
Calm down, now.
PR
dw

BAT BOY
No, I didn’t mean to.
oa

NED
What’re we doing now, Sheriff?
FO
Br

SHERIFF
We just gotta take a second … .
T

MEREDITH
O

Thomas, why?
N

RICK
Murderer!

SHELLEY
Stop it, Rick.

88
 MRS. TAYLOR
(To SHERIFF.)
You’ve got to do something!

RICK
Freak!

al
BAT BOY

s
I didn’t know …

ru
BUD

Pe
We can’t let him roam free, Sheriff.

SHERIFF
I’m just saying let’s take a second …

N
ng

O
DAISY
This is terrible! i
ns

TI
BAT BOY

C
No, I never meant to hurt anyone.
ce

MRS. TAYLOR
U
Li

You know what you have to do, Sheriff.

D
O
ay

RICK
Animal!
PR
dw

SHELLEY
Stop it!
oa

(RICK pulls out a pistol and fires it into the air. Everyone screams.
The SHERIFF pulls his revolver out and points it at RICK. Ad-lib
FO

hubbub.)
Br

SHERIFF
Now, don’t do anything stupid, son.
T
O

MRS. TAYLOR
Don’t you point a gun at my boy!
N

RICK
(Waving gun around.)
Everyone shut up!

89
 RICK (CONT’D)
(To BAT BOY.)
I WANNA WATCH YOU WET YOUR PANTS TONIGHT
I’LL DIG YOUR GRAVE AND THEN I’LL DANCE TONIGHT
YOU WENT AND BLEW YOUR SECOND CHANCE TONIGHT!

al
(To TOWNSFOLK.)

s
ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT?

ru
(To BAT BOY.)

Pe
YOU SEE? I BROUGHT MY LOADED GUN TONIGHT
AND NOW YOU’LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DONE TONIGHT
I GUESS THAT MEANS THE BEST MAN WON TONIGHT —

N
ng

O
(Before RICK can fire, SHELLEY steps in front of the gun.)
i
ns

TI
SHELLEY
RICK! LEAVE THE BOY ALONE

C
PUT IT DOWN RIGHT NOW
ce

YOU’RE AN UGLY CREEP!

U
Li

(Pause. RICK then roughly shoves SHELLEY away. BAT BOY grabs
D
RICK by the shoulders, takes him down and bites his neck. When Bat
O
ay

Boy’s face comes up again, it is covered in blood. Everyone gasps and

moves back. BAT BOY runs away. Several townsfolk rush to Rick’s
PR

body. Ad-lib hubbub. BUD picks up Rick’s gun and fires three shots
dw

into the woods blindly. MEREDITH grabs SHELLEY by the hand

and exits swiftly. Everyone yells at once. We make out the following
lines:)
oa

SHERIFF
FO

Bud, put that gun down right now!

Br

BUD
I’m just helping.
T
O

SHERIFF
He’s gone!
N

RON
Rick, are you all right?

90
 BUD
(Fires three more shots and hands gun to SHERIFF.)
I think I might’ve winged him!

MRS. TAYLOR
My boy! My boy!

al
RICK

s
(Very loud, shaking.)

ru
Oh my God! Oh my God!

Pe
(Everyone quiets down and pays attention to RICK.)

Bat Boy bit me!

N
ng
PARKER

O
(Approaching RICK with his medical bag.)
Clear away, please! i
ns

TI
MRS. TAYLOR

C
Dr. Parker, please save my boy. Please!
ce

PARKER
U
Li

(Feels Rick’s neck, prepares syringe.)

D
All right, Mrs. Taylor. Let’s see what we can do here …
O
ay

(PARKER injects a fluid into RICK. RICK calms down, then

PR

convulses and dies just like RUTHIE.)

dw

I’m sorry. The wound was too deep. He’s dead!

oa

#20 STOP THE BAT BOY!

FO
Br

MRS. TAYLOR
My boy! First my daughter and now my boy!
T

(MRS. TAYLOR and RON kneel down over Rick’s body.)

O

TOWNSFOLK
N

Kill the freak!

RON
Rick? Wake up! Wake up, Rick …

91
 MRS. TAYLOR
(Pulling RON close.)
Oh, Ronnie baby, don’t you ever leave me, don’t you ever leave your mama.

RON
Riiiiiiiiiick!!!!

al
BUD

s
Don’t you worry, Mrs. Taylor, we’ll find that critter.

ru
SHERIFF

Pe
All right, folks! Listen up! Maggie, go call the ambulance, let’s get this boy out of here.
Lorraine, call the Institute and tell them to hurry up with that van! And somebody get
some coffee into Dr. Parker, we need him. Now everybody else go home and get your
guns and your dogs and get right back here. We’re gonna do this right and orderly! All

N
ng
right now, move! We’re losing time!

O
i TOWNSFOLK/PARKER
ns

TI
(Enraged.)
FIND THE BAT BOY

C
STOP THE BAT BOY
ce

FIND THE BAT BOY

STOP HIM!
U
Li

FIND THE BAT BOY

D
STOP THE BAT BO
O
ay

FIND THE BAT BOY

STOP THE …
PR

… AAAAAHHH!!!!
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

92
 SCENE 2

#21 THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE

(The woods. It is night. MEREDITH and SHELLEY hurry down a

road that winds through the woods.)

al
MEREDITH

s
Edgar!

ru
SHELLEY

Pe
Edgar! Oh, Edgar. Where are you? Mom, what are we going to do?

MEREDITH SHELLEY

N
OUT! OUT! OUT!

ng
TIME TO GET OUT! OUT?

O
OUT! i
GOTTA JUST RIP OUT THIS PAGE
ns

TI
BEND THE BARS OF THE CAGE
AND RUN FREE! FREE?

C
ce

FREE!
NO ONE BUT EDGAR, YOU AND ME!
GOTTA GO FIND HIM AND MOVE ON U
Li

D
AND BE GONE AND BE GONE
BEFORE THE BEFORE THE
O
ay

DAWN! DAWN!
GOTTA GET CHECKBOOKS CHECKBOOKS
PR

CAR KEYS CAR KEYS

dw

PASSPORTS PASSPORTS
THEN GOODBYE!
TOOTHBRUSH,
oa

TOOTHBRUSH BLANKETS
FO

BLANKETS DADDY?
Br

… NO

Why?
T

Shelley, listen to me:

O
N

WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU BLOW OUT A TIRE? Tire?

Trash it!

SOME HOLES YOU’LL NEVER PATCH! You’ll never patch? …

93
 MEREDITH (CONT’D) SHELLEY (CONT’D)
AND WHO DO YOU SAVE
WHEN YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE? Fire?
DON’T BRING THE GUY
WHO LIT THE MATCH! WHO LIT THE
MATCH!

al
SO WE’LL GET A
POST OFFICE BOX

s
AND WE’RE GONNA CHANGE

ru
ALL THE LOCKS
AND WE’RE GONNA STAY WITH

Pe
MY COUSINS A WHILE
THEN WE’LL GET A
THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE
WITH A WHITE PICKET FENCE

N
ng
AND A GUN AND A LAWYER

O
SO SMILE!
i
ns

TI
GONNA GET A HOMEOWNER’S LOAN; Could …
GONNA GET AN UNLISTED PHONE Good! …

C
GONNA GET AWAY FROM A TOWN
ce

GONE INSANE Kinda thought they would …

AND WE’LL GET A
U
Li

THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE — A BEAUTIFUL

D
THREE-BEDROOM
O
ay

HOUSE?…
AFFORDABLE
PR

THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE … THREE-BEDROOM

dw

HOUSE …
WITH A GREAT BIG PIT BULL
ON A CHAIN! (Considering this.)
oa

OKAY …
OKAY, OKAY
FO

OKAY, OKAY —
Br

RIGHT! RIGHT!
RIGHT!
MOTHER, YOU’RE
T

RIGHT!
O

RIGHT?
RIGHT!
N

STILL KINDA
SAD THAT MY
DAD
LOST WHAT
MARBLES HE HAD

94
 MEREDITH (CONT’D) SHELLEY (CONT’D)
BUT WE’RE FREE!
FREE!
FREE!
I’LL GET A
BRAND-NEW

al
FAKE ID!
AND IF WE LACK FOR ANYTHING

s
I CAN HOCK THIS STUPID RING!

ru
AND WE’LL GET A AND WE’LL GET A

Pe
POST OFFICE BOX POST OFFICE BOX
AND WE’LL GET A AND WE’LL GET A
FRONT GATE FRONT GATE
THAT LOCKS THAT LOCKS

N
ng
AND WE’LL GET

O
AWAY
i FROM THOSE
ns

TI
IGNORANT PIGS!
AND WE’LL GET A AND WE’LL GET A

C
THREE-BEDROOM THREE-BEDROOM
ce

HOUSE HOUSE
A LIVABLE THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE
U
Li

A LOVABLE
D
THREE-BEDROOM THREE-BEDROOM
O
ay

HOUSE HOUSE …
AND SOME PLASTIC SURGERY
PR

AND WIGS!
dw

(Suspicious.)
For who? …
For all of us! …
oa

(Satisfied.)
Right!
FO

AND EDGAR AND EDGAR

Br

WILL SOON HAVE … WILL SOON HAVE

A GARDEN TO
WALK IN
T

HIS OWN DRIVER’S LICENSE

O

A CAR — NO
A VAN!
N

AND EDGAR AND EDGAR

WILL SOON WILL SOON
HAVE HAVE …
FIVE SUITS AND
A BRIEFCASE

95
 MEREDITH (CONT’D) SHELLEY (CONT’D)
A BALLROOM TO
DANCE IN
A GOOD DENTAL PLAN! …
’CAUSE EDGAR
WILL SOON HAVE

al
YES, EDGAR WILL SOON HAVE A HOME …
A HOME … YES, EDGAR

s
WILL SOON HAVE

ru
A HECK OF A A HECK OF A
HOME! … HOME! …

Pe
AND WE’LL GET A AND WE’LL GET A
POST OFFICE POST OFFICE
BOX BOX
AND WE’LL GET A AND WE’LL GET A

N
ng
FRONT GATE FRONT GATE

O
THAT LOCKS THAT LOCKS
AND A BIG ELECTRIFIED FENCE
i
ns

TI
ALL AROUND! WHOA!
AND WE’LL GET A

C
THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE — OR EVEN A
ce

TWO-BEDROOM
U HOUSE
Li

NO HONEY
D
A THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE —
O
ay

Mom … Do you think Edgar

would marry me?
PR

(Long pause.)
dw

NO HONEY A THREE-BEDROOM
HOUSE
A THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE
oa

IN A CONCRETE SHELTER
TEN FEET UNDERGROUND! —
FO
Br

SHELLEY
(Grabbing Meredith’s arm.)
MOM! I want to marry Edgar. I’m in love with him.
T
O

MEREDITH
No, Shelley.
N

SHELLEY
What?

96
 MEREDITH
You’re not in love with Edgar!

SHELLEY
Yes, I am. Mom, I love him so much. And I want to be with him forever —

al
MEREDITH
No, Shelley! Absolutely not! That’s a horrible thing to say. Don’t say that again!

s
ru
SHELLEY
Mother!

Pe
MEREDITH
It’s hideous. It’s not right!

N
ng
SHELLEY

O
(Shocked.)
You’re just like the rest of them.
i
ns

TI
MEREDITH

C
(Grabbing SHELLEY.)
ce

You don’t understand —

U
Li

(SHELLEY shoves her away. MEREDITH falls. SHELLEY flees into

D
the woods.)
O
ay

Shelllllleeeeey! Noooooooooooooo! …
PR
dw

WHAT ABOUT THE THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE?

THE THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE? …
WHO DO YOU SAVE WHEN YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE …
oa

YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE …

YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!
FO
Br

T
O
N

97
 SCENE 3

#21A BABE IN THE WOODS

(A clearing in the woods. SHELLEY enters.)

al
SHELLEY
Edgar! Edgar! Oh, where are you? Oh, Edgar.

s
ru
(BAT BOY suddenly appears. He touches Shelley’s shoulder. She is
startled, then she hugs him.)

Pe
You found me! How did you find me?

N
BAT BOY

ng
I see very well in this light.

O
i SHELLEY
ns

TI
(Crying.)
Oh, Edgar, we’ve got to get away. They’re coming after you and I’m worried what they’re

C
ce

going to do, and my mother, she …

U
(She pulls a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes her tears. BAT
Li

D
BOY stares at her. When she looks back up at BAT BOY, she sees that
he is crying as well. She hands him her handkerchief.)
O
ay

Here.
PR
dw

BAT BOY
Thank you.
oa

(BAT BOY dries his tears. He moves to hand back the handkerchief.)
FO
Br

SHELLEY
No, you can keep it. It’s a gift.
T

BAT BOY
Oh. Thank you.
O
N

(When their hands touch, music starts. SHELLEY and BAT BOY
look at each other. We hear a disembodied voice:)

#22 CHILDREN, CHILDREN

98
 PAN
(Offstage.)
CHILDREN, WELCOME HOME
TO WHERE WE ALL BEGAN
ALONE AND FACE TO FACE
LET US ERASE THE FALL OF MAN …

al
(Enter the god PAN.)

s
ru
NOW LET THE FROGS PAUSE IN THEIR SONG
NOW LET THE CRICKETS HOLD THEIR BREATH;

Pe
NOW LET THE TREES STAND STILL AS DEATH
AND TELL THE MOSQUITOES NOT TO BITE
NOW WE’VE BEEN HOPING FOR SO LONG
SO FILL THE SKY WITH FIREFLIES

N
ng
SO THEY CAN SEE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES

O
AND THEN THEY’LL GET IT RIGHT …
i
ns

TI
(Animals enter and investigate BAT BOY and SHELLEY.)

C
OH, CHILDREN, CHILDREN, DON’T BE SCARED
ce

THE MOON IS UP AND WE’RE ALL PREPARED

CHILDREN, TAKE A LOOK AROUND
U
Li

WE’RE ON SACRED GROUND —

D
AND WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS LOST AT LAST IS FOUND
O
ay

PAN ENSEMBLE
PR

NOW LET THE TURTLE AND THE DOVE HOO, SHA LA LA!
dw

LET THE LION AND THE LAMB, HOO, SHA LA LA!

LET THE OWL AND WOLF AND
RAM EMBRACE HOO HOO, SHA LA LA!
oa

ACROSS THE COUNTRYSIDE ACROSS THE

COUNTRYSIDE!
FO

FUR AND FEATHERS MAKING LOVE HOO HOO, SHA LA LA!

Br

PAWS AND CLAWS AND JAWS

AND BEAKS. OOH, AAAH
SHA LA LA!
T

LET THE SONG GO ON HOO, AAAH …

O

FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS

TO BLESS THIS BOY BLESS THIS BOY
N

AND AND
BLESS THIS BLESS THIS
BRIDE! BRIDE!

99
 PAN/ENSEMBLE
OH, CHILDREN, CHILDREN, DON’T BE SCARED
THE MOON IS UP AND WE’RE ALL PREPARED
CHILDREN, TAKE A LOOK AROUND
HEAR THAT JOYFUL SOUND —

al
PAN ENSEMBLE
FOR WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS FOR WHAT WE THOUGHT

s
LOST AT LAST IS FOUND WAS LOST…FOUND

ru
SHA LA LA LA LA LA!

Pe
PAN/ENSEMBLE
THE EARTH’S ASLEEP, TIME TO WAKE IT
IF YOU HAVE CLOTHING, FORSAKE IT
WE WANT YOU BREATHLESS AND NAKED!

N
ng
CHOOSE YOUR MATE;

O
AND THEN LET’S SEE WHAT WE CREATE! …
i
ns

TI
HEY!

C
(Dance break — animals copulate in various combinations. At some
ce

point BAT BOY and SHELLEY exit. They reappear, naked, demurely
U
covering their sensitive areas with foliage. PAN presides over a sort of
Li

marriage ceremony.)
D
O
ay

PAN THE ANIMALS

DRAW NEAR, MY DEARLY BELOVED, OOH OOH WAH! WA-OOH
PR

NO PRIEST, NO CHURCH, BUT WHAT

dw

OF IT? OOH, WAH! WA-OOH

TAKE ROOT, TAKE FLIGHT, I
COMMAND IT OOH WAH!
oa

HERE WE STAND HERE WE STAND,

SO NO MORE STALLING OOH, OOH, AHH!
FO

TAKE HER HAND!

Br

OH
CHILDREN, CHILDREN CHILDREN!
DON’T BE SCARED! DON’T BE
T

SCARED
O

THE MOON IS UP
AND WE’RE ALL PREPARED ALL PREPARED!
N

CHILDREN, TAKE A LOOK AROUND, TAKE A LOOK

WE’RE ON SACRED GROUND AROUND!
SHA LA LA!
AND HEAR THAT JOYFUL SOUND! — ’OUND, SHA LA LA
FOR WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS

100
 PAN (CONT’D) THE ANIMALS (CONT’D)
WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS WHAT WE
THOUGHT WAS
LOST — LOST —
AT LAST IS AT LAST IS
FOUND! FOUND!

al
FOUND! FOUND!
FOUND! FOUND!

s
FOUND! FOUND!

ru
(The animals surround BAT BOY and SHELLEY in celebration.)

Pe

N
ng

O
i
ns

TI
C
ce

U
Li

D
O
ay

PR
dw
oa

R
FO
Br

T
O
N

101
 SCENE 4

(Another area of the woods. Enter RON.)

#22A BURN, YOU FREAK, BURN

al
RON
I’m gonna get you Bat Boy! You’ll pay for what you did to Rick and Ruthie. You hear me,

s
freak! You’re gonna pay!

ru
(RON runs through the woods.)

Pe
Wait a second. The freak digs blood, right? And where do they have the most blood in
Hope Falls?

N
ng
(Lights up on the slaughterhouse.)

O
i
The slaughterhouse! He’s in the slaughterhouse! I’m gonna get you, Bat Boy! Aaaaaah!
ns

TI
(Screaming, RON runs into the slaughterhouse. But he can still be

C
ce

heard screaming and throwing things around. Enter DAISY with

torch and walkie-talkie.)
U
Li

D
DAISY
(Whispering.)
O
ay

Sweet Jesus!
PR

(To walkie-talkie.)
dw

Fox Leader, this is Henhouse. You copy? Over.

oa

SHERIFF’S VOICE
FO

(On walkie-talkie.)
Br

Daisy? Is that you?

DAISY
T

(To walkie-talkie.)
Ten-four. I’m at the slaughterhouse, and there’s some kind of a ruckus going on in there. I
O

think it might be the Bat Boy. Over.

N

SHERIFF’S VOICE
(On walkie-talkie.)
All right, Daisy. You hold on until we get there. You understand me? Don’t do anything.
The Institute Man will be here soon and he’ll take care of it.

102
 DAISY
(To walkie-talkie.)
That’s a big ten-four affirmative, Fox Leader. Over and out. Sweet Jesus!

(MRS. TAYLOR comes running on, hysterical.)

al
MRS. TAYLOR
Have you seen Ron? Have you seen my baby?

s
ru
DAISY
You best stay back, Mrs. Taylor. We got the Bat Boy trapped inside the slaughterhouse.

Pe
MRS. TAYLOR
The Bat Boy is in there?

N
ng
DAISY

O
I think so.
i
ns

TI
MRS. TAYLOR
And you’re just standing here?

C
ce

(MRS. TAYLOR suddenly grabs Daisy’s torch right out of her hand.
She runs to the slaughterhouse entrance … )
U
Li

D
Burn, Bat Boy! Burn!
O
ay

( … and throws the torch through the door. Whoosh!!! The

PR

slaughterhouse ignites. We hear a scream from inside.)

dw

DAISY
Oh, my Lordie.
oa

(Sound of hounds. Enter SHERIFF, NED and MR. DILLON.

FO

Everyone stares at the burning slaughterhouse, stunned.)

Br

SHERIFF
What the —
T
O

DAISY
Don’t look at me. She burned him up!
N

MR. DILLON
There he is!

103
HERE!
 PROPERTY LIST

ACT ONE

Scene 1
Rappelling ropes and gear (3 sets)
3 miner’s helmets with attached spotlights

al
Small bong (i.e., water pipe)

s
Lighter
Small bag of Fritos

ru
Red wagon
Burlap sack

Pe
Scenes 2 and 3
Sofa

N
ng
Coffee table

O
2 chairs
Credenza i
ns

TI
Furniture polish (2 cans)
2 dust rags

C
Handcuffs
ce

Pistol
Cage
U
Li

Whole, cooked chicken

D
Platter
O
Candles and holders
ay

Bowie knife
PR

Oven mitt
dw

Matches
Pot of stew
Wooden spoon
oa

Scene 4
FO

Bench
Br

Podium
Gavel
Meat hooks
T

Notepad
O

Pen
Cell phone
N

Handkerchief

130
 Scene 5
Dead geese on string (one filled with blood)
Shotgun
Hunting knife
Candle
Doctor’s bag

al
Liquor flask
Pocket tape recorder

s
Syringe

ru
Vial
Martini glass

Pe
Cocktail shaker
Basin

Scene 6

N
ng
Hospital bed or wheelchair

O
Clipboard (doctor’s chart)
Pen i
ns

TI
Scene 7

C
Sofa
ce

Coffee table
2 chairs
U
Li

Credenza
D
Children’s book
O
ay

Tea service
Rat
PR

Flash cards (pictures optional)

dw

Pictures (or slides)

Videocassettes
Records
oa

Blue essay book

FO

Scene 8
Br

Gavel
T
O
N

131
 Scene 9
Sofa
Coffee table
2 chairs
Credenza
Finger sandwiches

al
Tea service
Rabbit filled with blood

s
Ironing board

ru
Iron
Sunday dress

Pe
ACT TWO

N
ng
Scene 1
Podium with cross

O
Preacher’s bible i
ns

TI
Common bibles
Fans
Gun

C
ce

Scene 3
U
Li

Handkerchief
D
Large leaves/small shrubs
O
ay

Scene 4
PR

Torch
dw

Walkie-talkie

Scene 6
oa

Cow’s head
2 shotguns
FO

Test tubes
Br

Table on wheels
Bats on sticks
Baby Shelley
T

Bat baby
O

Bundle
Shovel
N

Handcuffs
Retractable knife filled with blood
Animal control leash pole

132
BAT BOY
THE MUSICAL

l
sa
ru
Pe
STORY & BOOK BY
KEYTHE FARLEY & BRIAN

N
g
FLEMMING in

O
s

TI
en

C
MUSIC & LYRICS BY
c

U
Li

LAURENCE O'KEEFE
D
O
ay

PR
dw
oa

SCORE SAMPLE
FO
Br

T
O
N

03/11/21
 Br
oa
N dw
O
T ay
FO Li
R c en
PR s in
O g
D Pe
U ru
C sa
TI
O l
N
Bat Boy: The Musical
Piano/Conductor
2
HOLD ME, BAT BOY
[Rev. 12/2/01] Music and Lyrics by
LAURENCE O'KEEFE

Arranged and Orchestrated by

al
LAURENCE O'KEEFE
Attacca from #1a ALEX LACAMOIRE

s
ru
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Pe
Start m5 7

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ay

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O
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L6148-802-2001
Piano/Conductor Hold Me, Bat Boy- [Rev. 12/2/01]

bbbb œ œ œ œ nœ œœ œ ˙ Œ ‰ œ œ
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10 11 12

3 3
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b
& b bb ∑
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l
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semi-muted

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Bs . . . . . . . . . . . .
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b Œ œ œ œ

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V
14

in

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3 3 3
mouth. Sleep-ing un - til the fad - ing light, Fly - ing through blood - y
s

TI
bbbb j
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. . > . . U . . > . . . .
Li

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
D
œ œ
? bb b œ œ
nœ
œ
œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
b œ œ œ œ œ œ
O
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ay

. . . . . . . . > . . . .
PR
dw

b b b 15 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ j
oa

V b Œ œ ‰ œ œ œ
16
FO
Br

3 3
dreams; When he a - wakes, the sum-mer night Is filled with

b Œ œ.
& b bb ẇ œ œ œ b œœ .. œ œ n œœ ˙˙
T

œ œ œ ˙
J
O

. . > . . . . > . >j

N

œœ œœ œœ œœ œ. œ ‰ œ ˙
? bb b bœ œ œ
œ
œ
œ bœ . œ nœ ˙
b œ œ œ œ
œ œ
. . . . œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
. . . . . . . > . .
Piano/Conductor Hold Me, Bat Boy- [Rev. 12/2/01]

WOMAN:

bbbb Ó
(or 2 Women)

Œ ‰ Œ ‰
3 3

&
17 3 18 19

œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ
3
œ œ œ ˙
You have heard he was born in the bogs; That he

MAN, cont'd

‰ œ œ œ œ œ nœ ‰ œ œ
(optional)

b œ
V b bb ˙ . œ œ œ ˙ Œ
3 3

l
sa
3 3
screams. You have heard he was born in the bogs; That he

ru
b œ œ
ENSEMBLE:

V b bb œ nœ nœ ˙. Œ œ nœ nœ

Pe
Oo... Ooo... Oo...

∑ ∑ ∑

N
bbbb

g
&
K2[Org]

in

O
œ œ nœ Œ œ œ nœ
nœ ˙. nœ
. . > . . . > .
s

TI
. . . . . . .
œ œ .
. . . . - - - - œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ
en
nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ
? bb b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
nœ
œ
œ
œ œ œ œ œ

C
b œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œœ
œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
F. . . . . .
c

. . . . - - - U . . . . . .
Li

D
bbbb
O
ay

Œ Ó
3
&
20 21

œ œ œ œ nœ
3
œ œ œ œ
PR
dw

feeds on the flies and the frogs.

bbbb œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
MAN 2:

V Œ
oa

3
FO

3 3
feeds on the flies and the frogs. You call him "beast" or
Br

b œ œ
V b bb ˙ . Œ œ nœ
T
O

Ooo... Ooo...

∑ ∑
& bbbb
N

œ œ
˙. Œ œ nœ
. . > . . . > . . . . .
œ œ . . . .
œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ
? bb b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
nœ
œ
œ
œ œ œ œ œ
b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
. . . . . .
. . . . .
Bat Boy: The Musical
Piano/Conductor 6

WARN:
A HOME FOR YOU
RICK: "Oh, man."
[Rev. 12/2/01] Music and Lyrics by
LAURENCE O'KEEFE
CUE:
MEREDITH: "Oh, there go the lights." Arranged and Orchestrated by
LAURENCE O'KEEFE

l
ALEX LACAMOIRE

sa
Freely

√ √
[Pno]

a gg
w g
c g
w
b w ggg b w
& C gggg

ru
b d

ggg b www ggg b www

ggg P ggg

Pe
gw ggg w
& C ggg b w ?
w & gg b w
?
w &

N
w w

g
in

O
√ √
s

TI
bw bw
SHELLEY: “He doesn’t look MEREDITH: “He’s had a hard day, dear.”
e g g g

& ggg w b ggg b w

very good, Mom.”
g
en
f h

gg

C
ggg b www ggg b www
ggg gg
c

ggg w ? ggg w U ?
Li

& gg b w & gg b w &

D
w w
w w
O
ay

√
PR

√
g bw gg b w
dw

SHELLEY: “You don’t think he’s MEREDITH: “I don’t know.”

i gg b w k gb w
going to die, do you?”

ggg
& gggg
j l

ggg b www ggg b www

ggg
oa

gg b w ggg b w
ggg
& gb w bw
FO

& g
? ?
bw bw &
Br

bw bw
T

√ SHELLEY: “I’m never going to get

U
O

bw bw gp gg b b b www
another pet, never.”

m gg b w o gg b w # 3
ggg
& gggg ggg
N

2
n

ggg b b b www ggg ggg

ggg ggg loco ggg
ggg b b ww ggg ggg NU
&g ?
& ggg b w gg b ww ? # 3
2
bw gg b w
bw
L6148-802-2001
Piano/Conductor A Home For You - [Rev. 12/2/01]

U
MEREDITH: "Shelley, why …I'll come tuck you in in a minute.”

# 3q U
don’t you go get ready for bed?…

& 2 n˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ r

˙
œœ
˙˙ ˙ ˙
F
œ œ

U
w
? # 23 b n ˙˙ w ˙
U
w &
˙ w

l
sa
CUE:
[MEREDITH lights the candle]

h»§§ √

ru
√
[Clarinet/Celeste] [sounding -12]

˙
Moderato

#1 ˙ œ œ
˙
˙ ˙ œ œ
˙
b C

Pe
˙
&
j 2
œ

∑ p
∑ ∑
K2[Pno]
➔
#

N
Œ Œ

g
& œœ ˙
b ˙˙
b ˙˙
n˙
œœ ˙
b ˙˙
b ˙˙
n˙
b C
in

O
œ œ
w. w.
s

TI
en

C
&b C
MEREDITH:
3 4 5 6

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙.
œ œ ˙
c

U
Li

D
Poor lit - tle per - son with eyes so sad, Where in the dark did they hide you?

œ
[same patch]
œ œ œ
[Celeste] [sounding 8va]
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ œ
&b C
O
ay

P
PR
dw

b C ?
[Celeste] [sounding 8va]
& w w w w
oa

R
FO

&b œ œ nœ œ Ó
Br

œ œ œ œ #œ œ
7 8 9 10

#œ w ˙
T

What have you seen that could teach you that haunt - ed stare?

œœ n œœ œœ œœ œœ
œœ # œœ œœ
K2[Harp]

& b ∑ ∑
O

∑
N

& b nœ œ #œ œ #œ #œ œ n ww œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
nœ nœ œ œ

?b ‰ n œj ˙ . ‰ j . ww
w w# œ ˙
+Gtr

∑
Piano/Conductor A Home For You - [Rev. 12/2/01]

&b ‰ j
11 12 13

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
w
Poor lit - tle crea - ture, it makes me mad To think of the child - hood de -

w w w
& b w w

œ
➔
œ œ

l
[Pno]

&b Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

sa
œ œ œœ œ œ œ
P œ œ
‰ œj ˙ . ‰ œj ˙ .

ru
? w w w
[Pno]
b

Pe

N
‰ # œj

g
&b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
14 15 16

œ #œ œ #œ
in

O
˙
s

TI
nied you, But give me a chance and we'll make it all right, I

√ œœ
# œœ
en

ww œ #œ œ œ œœ
& b Œ œ nœ #œ

C
œ
nœ œ
ggg # n www
c

œ
& b nœ
œ
œ œ œ U ˙ œ
Li

œ̇
D
.
‰ œj ˙ . ‰ n œj ˙
O

˙ œ œ
ay

? w w #˙ œ œ
b
PR
dw

#
oa

&b nw ˙ Œ œ
17 18
FO
Br

swear. 'Cause

(√) n œ œ œ œ œ œ
#œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œœœœœ #
T

& b nœ nœ #œ
O

j j #
nœ .
N

&b œ. #œ œ œ œ œ.
œ œ nœ œ #œ . n ˙˙
?b #
+Bs

ww ˙˙ .. œ
Bat Boy: The Musical
Piano/Conductor
16
A JOYFUL NOISE Music and Lyrics by
[Rev. 12/2/01] LAURENCE O'KEEFE
Arranged and Orchestrated by
LAURENCE O'KEEFE
ALEX LACAMOIRE

l
sa
ru
Freely; Colla Voce

b
REV. HIGHTOWER:

Vb b C Œ ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑ Œ œ œ œ

Pe
1 2 3 4 5

√ U
Oh, the

N
g
˙˙ œ œ w
b b C œ œ ˙˙˙ b ˙˙˙˙
˙˙
in ˙ ˙˙ œœ
[Pno]

O
& b ˙˙ ˙˙ n ˙˙˙˙ b ˙˙˙ œœ
œ œœ
œœ ˙ ˙˙ œœ œœ
s

TI
f
en
9

˙ w

C
? bb C Œ b˙ ˙ b˙
b ˙ n˙ œ œ bœ nœ ˙ ˙ w
b˙
c

˙ b˙ ˙ U
n ˙ œ œ. b œ. n œ. ˙
Li

.
D
O
ay

b ˙. j
PR

Vb b œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ Œ
œ. œ œ œ œ œ
3
œ ˙
6 7 8 9
dw

sheep has re - turned to the fold, and the pro - di - gal

oa

bbb Œ b œœ œ
3 3
& w ww bœ œœœ œ œœœ ˙˙˙ ...
FO

j w ˙˙˙
#œ w w >œ >œ
Br

> >
F b b
E b/G B b9sus
? b ˙˙ ..
E F m/A
bb w
T

˙ œ œ nœ w bœ nœ
œ >œ n>œ w> w
O

˙ bœ nœ
N

L6148-802-2001
Piano/Conductor A Joyful Noise - [Rev. 12/2/01]

bœ œ œœ
bb ˙ Œ œ œ ˙ œ j Œ
3
V b œ œ œ. œ ˙
10 3 11 12 13

>
œ œ œ ˙˙
son has come in from the cold, So like the

b œœ œœ b œœ n œ œ 6

œ n œ b œ b œœ n œ
j

&bb ‰œ œœ ‰œ ˙æ
#œ

w
j w ˙˙˙ œb œ œ n œ b ˙˙
#œ w 6

l
Eb b b b

sa
ad lib. +Dms

? bb
E /G F m/A B 9sus

b w w ˙
˙. nœ
˙ ˙æ

ru
˙. nœ w w ˙

Pe
U˙
b œ nœ œ œ ˙ œ3 œ bœ œ œ
3

N
Vb b Œ Œ

g
14 15 16

in

O
pro - phets were told in the days of
s

TI
U
˙˙æ
en
3 3
b œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœ
&bb

C
ww b œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙˙ ˙˙˙
w œ p f ˙
c

#œ
j

A bMaj7
U
Li

Eb B bm11 U
D
ad lib.

? bb bœ œ
/A

b ˙æ
3

b ˙. ˙ n˙ œ œ bœ
O
ay

bœ œ ˙ n˙ b˙
˙. >œ >œ b>œ
PR
dw
oa

˙. #œ œ œ œ œ n œ b œ b œ œ œ œ Uœ 20 "œ œ
bbb œ bœ
ad lib.

V Ó
FO

17 18 19
Br

3 3
old, Make a

U U ^ "
T

b j # œ n œœ œœ n œœ œœ œœ
&bb ‰ nœœœ Œ Ó
3
˙ œ J œ œ # œ n œ œn œ œ œ œ
3
O

j ˙ n ww n œœœ
#œ n˙
˙ ad lib. œ w
N

? bb U U ^ +Bs "
Œ Ó
F7
b w w w œ
w w w œ
Piano/Conductor A Joyful Noise - [Rev. 12/2/01]

h»¡™¢
˙ ˙ ˙ œ. œ œ
Up-Tempo Gospel
b ˙ œ
Vb b J ∑
21 22 23 24

joy - ful noise, my soul!

bbb œœ
TOWNSFOLK:

& ∑ ∑ ∑ Ó œœ

l
sa
(raggedly) Make a

b œœ n œœ
Vb b ∑ ∑ ∑ Ó

ru
>Tutti > > > > >j

Pe
Make a
b
& b b ˙˙ ˙ ∑
˙ n ˙˙˙˙ ˙˙ b b ˙˙˙ œœ ..
œ.
œœ œœ
œ œ œœ
ƒ˙ ˙ œ

N
g
E b/B b o b F m/A b B b9sus Eb
? bb ˙ in j

O
B 7 E 7/G
∑
Cm

b n˙ ˙ ˙ œ. œ œ œ
>˙ n>˙ >˙ >œ
. >œ œ
s

TI
>˙ œ
en

C
c

U
Li

D
b
Vb b ∑ ∑ ∑ Œ œ œ
25 26 27 28
O

œ
ay

PR
dw

Oh, the

b j
& b b ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ œœ .. œœ œœ œœ ∑
oa

joy - ful noise, my soul!

FO

b ˙ ˙˙ b ˙˙ œœ .. œœ œœ œœ
Br

Vb b ˙ n ˙˙ ∑
J
T

joy - ful noise, my soul!

bbb
O

K2[Org]

& ∑ ∑ ∑ w
∑
j
nœ
N

w
P

? bb ∑ ∑ ∑
’ ’
∑
’ ’
Dr fill

b
Bat Boy: The Musical
Piano/Conductor 24
INSIDE YOUR HEART
[Rev. 12/2/01] Music and Lyrics by
WARN:
BAT BOY: "I've never felt like this." LAURENCE O'KEEFE

CUE: Arranged and Orchestrated by

SHELLEY: "I know." LAURENCE O'KEEFE
ALEX LACAMOIRE

l
h»¶º

sa
√
Gently SHELLEY (CONT'D): “I know.”

# # # C 1gg w˙ ˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ggg ˙˙ bbbbbb

[Pno]
˙

ru
& ggg w˙ ˙
2 3 4

ggg ˙
ggg p+K2[Clste]/Tri ggg

Pe
ggg ggg
# # # C ggg [Pno] ggg bbbbbb
& gg ww w gg n ww ˙w
w ˙

N
g
in

O
bbb b 5 Œ
s

TI
b Œ Œ
SHELLEY:

& b œ œ œ
6 7

œ œ œ
en

œ œ œ

C
It's o - kay. I'm still here. Your se - cret's
c

√
Œ œ Œ U œ Œ œ
Li

b
& b bbbb œ œ œ
K2[Clste]
œ œ œ
D
w ww ww
w
O

g
K2[Pno/Stgs]
ay

b g
& b b b b b ggg w ∑ ∑
PR
dw

b
& b bbbb ∑ ∑ ∑
oa

R
FO

b j
Br

& b bbbb œ . œ Œ œ œ œ
8 9 10

œ œ œ œ œ œ
T

out, but don't fear. 'Cause I don't care what peo - ple

(√)
O

bbb b œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ
& b b ww œ œ œ œ
ww
w
N

w
b
& b bbbb ∑ ∑ ∑

b
& b bbbb ∑ ∑ ∑ ?

L6148-802-2001
Piano/Conductor Inside Your Heart - [Rev. 12/2/01]

b b 11
& b b bb w ˙ Ó Œ œ Œ œ
12 13 14

œ œ œ œ
say. Once I thought you were weird.

(√)
bb w ˙. K2[Stgs]

& b b bb Πw w
➔
b
& b bbbb œ œ
[Clarinet] [from Eb3-B4]

l
œ ˙ w w

sa
œ œ ˙
P +Ac. Gtr Œ Œ œ Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ
- -

ru
? bb b b
+Tri

˙
[Pno] [sounds +12]

bb w ˙. œ ˙. œ
˙

Pe
[D3 and below]
w w
[+Pizz Basses from Gb1 down]

N
[Pizz. bass sounds +12]

g
b b b b 15 Πin

O
3

& b b œ œ œ œ œ Œ Œ œ
16 17

œ œ œ œ
s

TI
en
But soon my doubts dis - ap - peared. I think you're

C
bb ˙ w
& b b bb w ˙
c

U
Li

b
& b bbbb w
D
œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ œ œ œ œ
O

œ
ay

? bb b b
PR

b b ˙.
dw

œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
w w w
oa

bb nnnnnn
& b b bb œ œ œ œ œ w ˙ Œ nœ nœ
FO

18 19 20
Br

nor - mal - ler than they... Now you're

œ n˙ n˙
T

b ˙ ˙ ˙.
& b bbbb nnnnnn
O
N

b nnnnnn
& b bbbb œ œ œ #œ nœ
œ œ œ œ ∫œ nœ nœ
? bbb Œ
nnnnnn
+Bs

bbb ˙ ˙
˙. œ n˙ . Œ
˙ ˙ n˙ .
w
Piano/Conductor Inside Your Heart - [Rev. 12/2/01]

˙ œ
& œ. J ˙ Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ
21 22 23 24

œ œ œ œ ˙
scared; You're in need. Clear - ly some - one has to bleed... I'll re -

& ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ

√ nœ

l
[Pno] [sounds -12] [Pno D5 and up]

sa
nœ nœ œ œ œ bœ œ œ
‰ n œ n œ nœ œ nœ n œ
n ‰œœœœœœ ‰ bœ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œœ œ œœ œœ
[same patch]

& œ

ru
F
˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ

Pe
˙
? n˙ ˙
[Clarinet] [loco]
n˙
w w
w w

N
g
Bs

in

O
s

TI
œ bb
en

& ˙ œ. J ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ w
25 26 27 28

C
c

pay all you gave. I will

U
give you what you crave.
Li

œ
D
K2[Flute]
œ ˙ œ
˙ œ
& ˙ ˙ ˙ Ó ?
bb
O
˙
ay

˙ ˙ ˙
PR

(√)
[Piano/Strings]
dw

œ œ œ œ œ œ b˙
[Strings B1 and above]

œ gggg ˙˙˙
& ‰ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ Ó œœ œœ b œœœ œœœ ? b b
[loco]

b
bœ œ
oa

w
➔
FO

w ˙ Ó
Br

? ˙
bb
[Piano/Strings]
˙
w
w ˙
˙
T
O
N
Bat Boy: The Musical
Piano/Conductor 28
FINALE:
I IMAGINE YOU’RE UPSET Music and Lyrics by
[Rev. 11/13/01] LAURENCE O'KEEFE
WARN:
BAT BOY: "You were right, Mother..." Arranged and Orchestrated by
LAURENCE O'KEEFE
CUE: ALEX LACAMOIRE
MEREDITH: "Look inside yourself, Edgar..."

l
sa
Moderato q»¡¡¢

ru
MEREDITH (CONT'D): “…and you'll see a soul. Does a beast have a soul?”
BAT BOY: “A soul?”

Pe
#### 1 1 . .
VAMP

r .. 44 r3 ‹
BAT BOY: poco accel.

4 . ‰ ‰ . ˙
3
V œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‹
2

œ œ œ œ œ
œ

N
g
Is that what you call it, that emp-ty pit, That woundwhere my heart shouldbe?

# #
& # # 41 .. œ œ œ .. 44
[Pno]

in

O
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Fœ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œœœ œ œ
s

TI
en
w/ pedal

? # # # # 41 .. .. 44
+Bs/Dms

C
∑ ≈j
[Pno/Stg layer]

˙. œ. ˙. œ. œ
c

˙. U>œ .
˙. œ. œ
Li

D
O
ay

#### 4 n˙ bb
3 3
œ œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ Œ
PR

V œ œ œ œ
3 5

nœ
dw

You dug this hole in me bit by bit, No - thing is left of me.

# # b
& # # œ nœ œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ b
oa

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