I.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

I was the youngest child of Jerwin and Victoria, born on January 19, 2004. Unlike my
older sister, I was more of the quiet and disobedient type of kid, even when I was still an infant.
Despite being a more energetic kid, I was also a shy kid, which shocked my parents who were
used to my sister’s outgoing personality.

When I first started school, my mom would often talk to my teachers ahead of time and
give them a couple of head’s up that I wasn’t the same with my oldest sister, who were also
taught by the same set of teachers. When I was also in the first grade, my mom often got
frustrated with me since I wasn’t really smart in the academic department. When I answered my
entrance exam for the first grade, I had one of the lowest scores on the academic exam. This led
to my mom being frustrated and even gave up on me. However, my father knew there was a
second exam focused more on reasoning and when that exam day came, he took me and I aced
that test, leading me to pass in a semi-private science school.

During the first year of being an elementary student, I was living with my mom and
sister, under my grandparents’ house in Surigao. Due to my mom’s immense pressure on the
difference between me and my sister and due to the stress of her newly diagnosed disease, she
often lashed out at us. Although I was often coddled, I still received the bad side of my mother’s
attitude whenever she got stressed on how low my scores were on my quizzes and exams. She
would often hit me and make me look at the paper where my scores were. There was also a time
she purposely broke a glass that was right next to me because I had a score of 7/15. Despite those
hard days, I still persisted and was able to graduate first grade as Top 15 of my class, with the
help of my mother.

My mom also forced me to join Kumon and even attended tutoring classes up until I was
in 5th grade. Due to this, my mom would often say no to me when it came to joining and/or
playing with my cousins and neighbors after class hours or even during the weekend. Due to that
case, I was left with my mom to study and answer just different homeworks from Kumon aside
from my schoolworks.

In second grade, my mother already went back to our province to continue our business
and my father already decided to work in another city to work in a job connected to his degree.
So, up until the sixth grade, I stayed with my grandparents and would often end up fending for
myself. During this time, I experienced a hard time since I was never really one to make friends
or be a bit outgoing to have a constant set of friends. This fact also scared and made my parents
worried, especially my mother.
 Two years before I finished elementary school, I was finally able to make a set of friends
that really lasted for a while, although in the present day, I don’t really talk to them that much
anymore because of the distance between us and the change of personalities. There’s a lot of
reasons why I’m not in contact with them anymore but it’s solely because of the fact that because
of the distance, I’m not really trying to be close with them anymore.

A month before my elementary graduation, my parents also decided to end their marriage
because my father was cheating on my mother and it ended pretty badly since I was mostly in the
middle of their fight, even in the middle of the fight between both sides of my family. The start
of their decision to separate was also mainly because of me catching my father texting another
woman and it created a domino effect leading to them separating and how my life looks right
now. On my graduation day, my father was already sitting at the back of the venue and my walk
ended up only being with Victoria and Sam.

After their separation, I was transferred to Cebu City in a private Catholic school for high
school. During this time, it was a lot easier for me to adjust to a new environment. This time
around, it was easier to make friends, which some are still in her life right now.

High school, particularly the 8th grade, was also the time that I realized that I was queer
and that I was somehow different from everyone. Two years later, I was already able to come out
to my mom and sister and later on, to my father as well. The first one who she told was actually
Sam. The coming out process was not all rainbows and sunshine especially in the first part of
that time, my mom had a hard time actually accepting it but later on, started to open up to the
idea of it. In the present, she now accepts and has been going out from time to time with my
girlfriend and me, and my mom and sister usually invite my girlfriend whenever they come visit
me here in Cebu.

The start of the pandemic was also the start of my senior high life. Those two years were
one of the hardest parts of my life. Everything was somehow a mess at that time because I wasn’t
really used to staying in our province for such a long time and I wasn’t really used to the fact that
I couldn’t go out, or that I didn’t have the option to do it. This event resulted in me going into a
downward spiral which was giving me a lot of negative thoughts about my life and I was always
thinking of ways to end my life. I also rejected my friends’ help by avoiding them almost entirely
and I didn’t even listen to my girlfriend and was always speaking to her in a rude or mean way
because I was so stuck in the fact that nothing was going my way. LAter on, I accepted their help
when I also saw myself how I was really doing. I had to go to therapy and was eventually
diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and even anxiety. It was all hard for me and my family, and
somehow also a scary part for my mom and sister, as it was a new and different side of me that
they’ve seen and it was not pretty.
 Right now, Jervee is already a second-year student in BS Psychology at the University of
San Carlos. Although I was hoping to study in University in Diliman, I sadly was not able to pass
to that specific campus. Despite having a possibility of enrolling under another UP campus, my
mom discouraged me to do it as it would be too much of a hassle to transfer to another city just
for school. Because of this, I decided to stay in Cebu and pursue the course that I really like,
despite studying it in University of San Carlos.

II. INSIGHTS

● Authoritarian Parenting by Diana Baumrind

○ During the early years of my life, my mother would often scold me and not let me
do anything that a child should be able to do. I wasn’t allowed to play and be a
kid during those times and more often than not, I was forced to continuously
study mainly because of how frustrated my mother was with me. Even as a
toddler, I was often scolded for not following whatever my mom wants me to do.
Even with my sister, she often scolded her for not following what she wanted us
to do. Both of us were often hit by my mom if we chose to disobey her. After the
second grade, my mom slowly changed her ways and used more of the
Authoritarian parenting style with me.
● Industry v. Inferiority by Erik Erikson
○ When I found out my father was cheating on my mother, it led me to disliking my
father and even questioned whether or not he truly cared about me and my sister.
This also led me to be distant from him considering that he also never consistently
talked to me about what happened or even tried to let me understand why he did
what he did. Contrary to that, my mom also kept on crying to me about why my
father left us and that even if she accepted it, it was still hurting her whenever she
was reminded of it and that all she wanted was a happy family and one that would
stay together. This led me to believe that I was one of the reasons they broke up
and has been consistently trying to remind myself that if I just shut up, maybe all
of our lives would be different now. Even until now, I would often get scared of
my own personal relationships, mainly because of what had happened to my
family. This led me to believe that although I was worthy of the love that I have
received, when they leave, that is solely my fault and I deserve it. There were also
a number of times where I would decide to leave first because the fear of being
broken up was consuming me and that I knew that it would also hurt me.This is
an example of Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages when it comes to developing more
feelings of inferiority.
● Homosexuality by Ramafedi et. al.
 ○ Although I came out when I was already 16, I already noticed that I developed
feelings for a girl when I was still 11. As I grew older, I have become more open
about my sexuality, especially with my family, compared to when I first came out
or realized that I was different. From being just queer, to labeling myself as
bisexual, and then now to a lesbian, I am still somehow uncertain of my
orientation, mainly because of the societal pressure of naming labels when it
comes to answering who you are. Although I have truly accepted myself as a
homosexual, there are still some things that I’m still longing for, mainly because
of how the world has also labeled me as, without knowing who I truly am.
● Identity Achievement by Marcia
○ When I was still in elementary school, I would often wonder what program I
would take in college since as early as those years, I was often encouraged by my
mom to take different programs in college and I had considered all of them at an
early age. When I was in 8th grade, my older cousin talked to me about
Psychology and how she was planning to take it in college. This led me to
research about it and I found out how amazing this particular program was. Yet, I
was still not sure if I would stick to this plan of mine to take it after a few years.
With years ahead of college, even at 9th grade, I was already sure that I would
take psychology as my program in college. This led me to pursue the program and
as of now, I am also currently studying it which coincides with the theory of
James Marcia on Identity Achievement.

III. REFERENCES

Erik Erikson’s Theory in Analysis of Divorce - Edubirdie. (2023, April 21). Edubirdie.
https://edubirdie.com/examples/erik-eriksons-theory-in-analysis-of-divorce/

Hoose, N. A. (n.d.). Identity Development Theory | Adolescent Psychology.

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/adolescent/chapter/identity-development-theory/#:~:te
xt=Identity%20achievement%20refers%20to%20those,are%20committed%20to%20their
%20identity.

Mba, D. S. R. M. (n.d.). Sexual orientation: overview, theories about gay, lesbian, and bisexual
sexuality, developmental stages of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents.
https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/917792-overview?form=fpf

Muraco, J. A. (2020, May 18). Baumrind’s parenting styles. Pressbooks.

https://iastate.pressbooks.pub/parentingfamilydiversity/chapter/chapter-1-2/
Smith, E. (2021, September 15). Erikson’s Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority. Spring Ridge
Academy.
https://springridgeacademy.com/eriksons-stage-4-industry-vs-inferiority/