How to Make Friends with the
Dark PDF
Kathleen Glasgow
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How to Make Friends with the Dark
Navigating Grief and Finding Light Amid Darkness
Written by Bookey
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Summary
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About the book
In "How to Make Friends with the Dark," Kathleen Glasgow
masterfully navigates the treacherous waters of grief, loss, and
the resilience of the human spirit. At the heart of the story is
Tiger Tolliver, a teenage girl whose world shatters when she
unexpectedly loses her mother, plunging her into a depth of
darkness she never imagined. As Tiger grapples with
overwhelming sorrow, she embarks on a poignant journey
towards self-discovery and healing, uncovering the raw, yet
beautiful, truths about love, vulnerability, and survival. With
stunning prose and deeply resonant emotions, Glasgow invites
readers to walk alongside Tiger in this soul-stirring
exploration of what it truly means to find light amidst the
darkest of days. Prepare to be moved and inspired as you open
the pages of this heart-wrenching, yet hope-filled novel.
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About the author
Kathleen Glasgow is a critically acclaimed American author
known for her poignant and emotionally resonant novels. With
a background in creative writing and a keen interest in
exploring the intricacies of human experience, Glasgow's
writing often delves into themes of grief, mental health, and
resilience. Her debut novel, "Girl in Pieces," received
widespread praise for its raw and powerful portrayal of a
young woman's struggle to mend the pieces of her shattered
life. Building on this success, Glasgow continues to captivate
readers with her subsequent works, including "How to Make
Friends with the Dark," solidifying her reputation as a
compelling voice in contemporary young adult literature. Her
storytelling is marked by its authenticity, empathy, and an
unwavering commitment to shedding light on the often
unspoken trials of adolescence.
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Summary Content List
Chapter 1 : The Shocking Loss - Facing Unthinkable Grief
Chapter 2 : Lost in a Sea of Change - Navigating the System
Chapter 3 : Light in the Darkness - Finding Solace in
Unexpected Places
Chapter 4 : The Struggle Within - Battling Inner Demons
Chapter 5 : Rebuilding from the Ashes - The Path to
Self-Discovery
Chapter 6 : Family Reimagined - Creating a New Sense of
Belonging
Chapter 7 : Moving Forward - Embracing a New Chapter
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Chapter 1 : The Shocking Loss - Facing
Unthinkable Grief
Tiger Tolliver's life was fairly ordinary before the tragedy
struck. She was just another high school student, navigating
the usual trials of teenage years, dealing with everyday
challenges, and living her life with her single mother, June.
They were a small family unit, tight-knit and devoted to each
other, even if they often clashed like any mother and
daughter. Tiger's world revolved around her mother's
meticulous care and their modest home life filled with
routines and rules, creating a structured and somewhat
predictable existence.
However, the pivotal moment that shattered this predictable
serenity came as a sudden and catastrophic shock. June dies
unexpectedly, a devastating loss that leaves Tiger reeling in
disbelief and unthinkable grief. One moment, she's at school,
worrying about mundane things like lunch and homework,
and the next her entire world is turned upside down. The
reality of her mother’s death hits her like a tidal wave,
pulling her into a deep, dark place of sorrow and confusion.
She is left stunned, struggling to comprehend the magnitude
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of her loss and what it means for her future.
With her mother gone, the initial impact of grief crashes over
Tiger in relentless waves. There is an immediate void, an
emptiness that swallows her whole. Her home feels like a
ghost town, a stark contrast to the bustling, warm
environment it was when her mother was alive. Everything
familiar now feels alien and oppressive. The stark reality of
June’s absence is a constant, aching reminder of all that Tiger
has lost. Her life, once filled with the presence and love of
her mother, has now drastically shifted, leaving her to
navigate an unfathomable landscape of sorrow and
uncertainty.
In the immediate aftermath, Tiger is consumed by a
whirlwind of emotions. Shock, anger, despair, and numbness
cycle through her as she grapples with the permanence of her
mother’s death. Friends and distant relatives offer
condolences and support, but nothing seems to penetrate the
thick fog of grief. Her daily life is upheaved, routines broken,
and everything she once knew is called into question. The
normalcy she took for granted has vanished, replaced by a
harsh new reality where she must find a way to exist without
her mother’s comforting presence.
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Tiger’s journey through grief is just beginning, and it's clear
that the road ahead is fraught with challenges. Her initial
confrontation with loss has completely altered her world,
setting her on a path where she must learn to make sense of
the dark void left by her mother’s sudden departure. This is
only the beginning of her story, one that will see her
struggling to find stability and reclaim her sense of self in the
face of overwhelming adversity.
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Chapter 2 : Lost in a Sea of Change -
Navigating the System
Tiger’s life is thrown into chaos as she suddenly finds herself
navigating the cumbersome and often impersonal foster care
system. This system, meant to provide refuge, sometimes
feels more like an additional setback for a girl already
straining to stay afloat amid her grief.
Thrown into an unfamiliar environment, Tiger encounters
social workers who, despite their good intentions, often come
across as overburdened and distant. They speak in a language
steeped in bureaucracy, which Tiger struggles to decode.
She’s handed off from one caseworker to another, leaving her
in a continuous loop of introducing herself, recounting her
trauma, and endlessly explaining her situation. Each
interaction feels like reopening a wound that hasn't had a
chance to start healing.
But it's not just the social workers that Tiger has to deal with.
She meets a plethora of foster families, each with their own
set of rules, expectations, and dynamics. Some families offer
genuine kindness, trying their best to help Tiger adjust.
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Others, however, view her more as a temporary burden, an
additional mouth to feed, and expect her to be grateful for
even the smallest kindnesses. This inconsistency leaves Tiger
feeling unmoored, as if she is drifting between realities, none
of which feel truly welcoming or safe.
In her school environment, the changes are equally stark.
Tiger, once relatively secure in her world with her mother,
now has to learn to navigate new social dynamics. Her peers,
who don’t fully understand the magnitude of her loss,
oscillate between uncomfortable pity and outright avoidance.
She feels an alienation that wasn’t there before, a profound
sense of separation from the “normal” lives around her.
Nevertheless, amid the overwhelming change and constant
movement, Tiger begins to meet individuals who start to
form the threads of a new fabric in her life. There's the older
foster sibling who quietly shares their own survival
strategies; the sympathetic teacher who gently pushes her to
stay engaged despite her circumstances; the fellow foster
kids who, despite their own challenges, offer a camaraderie
born out of shared experiences of displacement and grief.
These new characters each play a role, however small, in
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helping Tiger take tentative steps towards some form of
stability. They represent a bewildering array of experiences
and perspectives, each adding a new layer to Tiger’s
understanding of loss, survival, and adaptation. Through
these interactions, Tiger comes to learn that while her grief is
deeply personal, she is not entirely alone in her struggle.
But the adaptation process is anything but smooth. Tiger is
constantly bombarded with challenges that force her to
confront and manage her grief in ways she had never
anticipated. There are nights where memories of her mother
crash over her like waves, heavy and suffocating. Simple
things—a song on the radio, a smell, a phrase—trigger
profound waves of sadness. Balancing the weight of her
sorrow with the necessity of acclimating to her new
surroundings becomes a daily battle.
Through navigating this sea of change, Tiger's resilience
begins to surface. Even as she grapples with the practicalities
of her new life and the rawness of her sorrow, she learns to
carve out small spaces of steadiness. She finds solace in
fleeting moments, a silent understanding in a shared glance, a
supportive word from an unexpected source. It’s intense,
exhausting, and often seems insurmountable, but each step
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marks progress. This tumultuous journey through the foster
care system becomes a significant chapter in Tiger’s path
toward healing, setting the stage for deeper connections and
eventual self-discovery.
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Chapter 3 : Light in the Darkness -
Finding Solace in Unexpected Places
In the midst of her overwhelming sorrow, Tiger begins to
find moments of solace in the most unexpected places. As
she navigates the tumultuous waters of her new reality, she
gradually encounters individuals who play crucial roles in
her healing. These new friendships and relationships become
lifelines, pulling her from the abyss of her grief.
At school, Tiger meets Shayna, a girl in her art class, who,
with her vibrant personality and empathetic heart, becomes
one of the first to break through Tiger's wall of isolation.
Shayna’s understanding and compassion offer Tiger a
much-needed sense of normalcy and acceptance. Their
friendship blossoms over shared lunches and art projects,
creating a sanctuary where Tiger can express her grief
without judgment.
Another pivotal relationship forms with Thaddeus, a
kind-hearted boy from her foster care group. Thaddeus, who
has faced his own share of hardship, becomes a source of
strength and solidarity for Tiger. Together, they navigate the
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rocky terrain of their circumstances, finding comfort in
shared experiences and mutual support. Thaddeus’ presence
provides a reassuring sense of companionship and a reminder
that she is not alone in her struggles.
In addition to these peer connections, Tiger finds unexpected
mentorship and guidance from her art teacher, Ms. Rocco.
Recognizing Tiger’s talent and the therapeutic potential of
artistic expression, Ms. Rocco encourages her to pour her
emotions into her artwork. This creative outlet becomes a
refuge for Tiger, helping her process her pain and gradually
transform it into something beautiful and meaningful.
Within her foster family, Tiger also begins to forge bonds
that contribute to her healing journey. Her foster parents,
despite the initial awkwardness and hesitation, show genuine
concern and care for her well-being. Their patient
understanding and consistent support begin to weave a safety
net around Tiger, helping her feel more anchored and less
adrift.
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support system around Tiger. Each person in her orbit
contributes uniquely to her healing, offering love,
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Chapter 4 : The Struggle Within -
Battling Inner Demons
Tiger’s grief is not just an external struggle but a fierce
internal battle. The emotional turmoil she experiences
manifests in various ways, presenting a complex landscape of
mental health challenges. Anger becomes a prevalent force in
Tiger’s life. She finds herself lashing out at those around her,
from foster parents to peers, feeling an intense, almost
uncontrollable rage. This anger is partly rooted in
guilt—Tiger is haunted by memories of her last interactions
with her mother, replaying moments that she now wishes she
could change. Each recollection digs deeper into her psyche,
making the burden of guilt heavier.
Tiger’s longing for her mother is a constant, painful ache. It’s
not just about missing her presence but yearning for the
security and love that her mother provided. This longing
leaves her feeling abandoned and isolated, even when
surrounded by people who care. The absence of her mother
creates a vacuum that Tiger struggles to fill, leading to a
pervasive sense of emptiness.
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As she continues her life, Tiger’s internal struggles also bring
her face to face with mental health issues she cannot ignore.
The complexity of her emotions—anger, guilt,
longing—becomes overwhelming, leading her to confront the
necessity of seeking help. Through therapy and open
conversations with her foster families and new friends, Tiger
begins to unravel the tightly wound ball of emotions inside
her. She starts to understand that her feelings, while
immensely painful, are valid responses to her trauma.
The process of coming to terms with her new reality is
neither quick nor linear. Tiger experiences setbacks that
make her question her progress, and there are moments when
despair feels all-consuming. However, these periods of
darkness also become opportunities for growth. Through
therapy, she learns techniques to cope with her negative
emotions, beginning to see them not as insurmountable
barriers but as challenges she can face and manage over time.
Throughout this journey, the exploration of mental health
plays a crucial role. Tiger’s interactions with mental health
professionals open up new avenues for understanding her
grief. These professionals provide her with tools and
strategies that help her regain some control over her spiraling
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emotions. With time, Tiger recognizes that her feelings do
not define her; they are a part of her healing process.
As Tiger grapples with her inner demons, the battles she
fights internally mirror the shifts in her external world. Just
as she navigates the unfamiliar terrain of the foster care
system, she also journeys through the equally complex
terrain of her mind. It is a journey fraught with challenges,
but each step she takes helps her move forward. Equipping
herself with knowledge and support becomes essential to her
progress.
In essence, Tiger’s struggle with anger, guilt, and longing is a
testament to the intricate nature of grief. Her path is marked
by a constant seesaw of emotions, and her ability to confront
and work through these feelings showcases her resilience.
She learns that healing is a process—sometimes slow and
excruciating, but always moving. The intense internal battles
Tiger faces and the insights she gains into her mental health
play a pivotal role in her recovery, setting the stage for her
continued journey toward self-discovery and acceptance.
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Chapter 5 : Rebuilding from the Ashes -
The Path to Self-Discovery
In “How to Make Friends with the Dark,” Kathleen Glasgow
intricately unravels Tiger’s journey through unimaginable
loss, heart-wrenching grief, and profound personal
transformation. Part 5 of the summary, “Rebuilding from the
Ashes - The Path to Self-Discovery,” chronicles Tiger's
resilience and the steps she takes toward rebuilding her life.
As Tiger grapples with the harsh realities of her mother’s
sudden death, she begins to confront the many layered
aspects of her identity. Stripped of the familiar comfort and
safety once provided by her mother, Tiger is compelled to
discover who she is on her own. This process is neither linear
nor easy. It involves significant personal growth, setbacks,
and moments of clarity.
One of the first steps Tiger takes towards rebuilding her life
is engaging more deeply in activities that had previously only
held peripheral interest. She recognizes that her passion, once
latent and undefined, needs to be rediscovered and nurtured.
Whether it is through art, writing, or engaging in community
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projects, these outlets become a source of solace and a means
to express her innermost feelings of pain and hope.
Amidst these endeavors, Tiger experiences a renewed sense
of self-worth. The act of creating something – whether it’s a
piece of art or a connection with another person – empowers
her to redefine her identity apart from her mother’s shadow.
It becomes evident that while her mother’s influence will
forever be a part of her, Tiger is capable of being strong,
independent, and resilient on her own.
Tiger’s journey is also marked by the rediscovery of her
strengths. Throughout the experience, she realizes that she is
more capable than she thought. The trauma has highlighted
her resilience, a strength she wasn’t entirely aware of. This
self-awareness and acknowledgment of her own capabilities
play a crucial role in her healing process. Overcoming each
small challenge, from standing up for herself in difficult
situations to making autonomous decisions about her future,
bolsters her confidence.
As Tiger moves forward, she learns that it is okay to ask for
help, and that leaning on others can be a display of strength,
not weakness. The relationships she builds and the support
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she receives become critical components of her rebuilding
process. These connections provide her with the foundation
and stability she needs to explore her passions and strengths
more deeply.
One of the most pivotal lessons Tiger learns is that grief and
joy can coexist. Accepting the complexity of her emotions
allows her to find moments of happiness amidst her sorrow.
This acceptance is a significant milestone in her path to
self-discovery, permitting her to pursue new interests and
relationships without the shadow of guilt.
In embracing these lessons and experiences, Tiger redefines
her future. The pain of her past does not vanish, but she
learns to integrate it into her new reality. She honors her
mother's memory while forging a new path that is uniquely
her own, balancing reverence for the past with aspiration for
the future.
Rebuilding from the ashes, Tiger’s journey to self-discovery
is one of resilience, growth, and hope. Her experiences and
the lessons she learns along the way not only shape her
present but also illuminate the path forward, offering her a
newfound sense of purpose and a strengthened spirit.
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Chapter 6 : Family Reimagined -
Creating a New Sense of Belonging
Tiger’s understanding of family transforms significantly as
she navigates the tumultuous waters of grief and foster care.
In the immediate aftermath of her mother’s death, the
traditional notion of family—centered around her mother and
their shared life—is shattered. This loss leaves Tiger feeling
profoundly unmoored, craving the stability and love that the
word ‘family’ once embodied for her.
As she moves through various foster homes, Tiger
encounters diverse individuals who start to reshape her
perception of what a family can be. Each foster home comes
with its own set of dynamics and challenges, pushing Tiger
to adapt and reconsider what belonging means. Initially,
these places feel alien and far removed from the warmth she
was accustomed to. However, as she spends more time in
these environments and meets others who are also grappling
with their own losses and displacements, Tiger begins to
fathom the fluidity of the concept of family.
Integral to this reimagining of family is her relationship with
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Kai, another foster kid who becomes an unexpected pillar in
her journey. Kai, with his own scars and experiences, offers
Tiger a mirror to reflect her pain but also a hand to hold
through it. Their bond grows beyond mere friendship; it
becomes a lifeline rooted in mutual understanding and shared
resilience. They become each other’s chosen family,
exemplifying that family can be formed not just through
blood but through shared hardship and unwavering support.
Further, the social workers and some of the foster parents
who genuinely care for Tiger play pivotal roles in rebuilding
her support network. They provide her with resources,
guidance, and most importantly, a semblance of stability.
Through these relationships, Tiger learns that family can also
encompass those who offer unconditional support and care,
helping her piece her life back together one step at a time.
A significant moment in this evolution occurs when Tiger
meets a group of peers in a therapeutic setting. Here, she
finds individuals who are also wrestling with the concept of
family and belonging. The shared experiences create a
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openly. This newfound community,
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Chapter 7 : Moving Forward -
Embracing a New Chapter
Tiger's journey through the labyrinth of grief, loss, and
self-discovery indeed culminates in a place of cautious
optimism and resilience. As she stands on the precipice of a
new chapter, the intense pain of losing her mother has been
tempered by growth and the acceptance of a reality she could
never have imagined before. This new phase of her life isn't
free from challenges, but rather, it's shaped by the hard-won
wisdom and strength she has gained along the way.
Recapping Tiger’s journey from immense loss to a state of
healing offers a view into the transformative power of
resilience. Tiger has faced numerous upheavals—from the
sudden death of her mother to navigating the unforgiving
foster care system. Each step of her path was marked by
struggle, yet also signified moments of profound personal
growth. Her initial days were clouded with shock and
disorientation; the world as she knew it had splintered,
leaving her in a state of emotional freefall.
Her encounter with the foster care system introduced Tiger to
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a world she had never known: a world filled with new faces
and temporary homes that starkly contrasted with the
stability she once cherished. The intrusion of social workers,
the adjustments to numerous foster families, and the struggle
to connect with peers created a chaotic backdrop to her
already tumultuous emotional state. However, within this
instability, Tiger found unexpected pockets of solace and
connection that began to weave a new safety net around her.
The friendships and relationships she forged became the
anchor points in her storm. From the bonds she formed with
other kids in the system to the empathetic adults who
recognized her pain, these connections played a pivotal role
in her healing. These moments, where someone shared a
kindness or understanding, acted like beams of light piercing
through her darkest times. They weren't merely acts of
sympathy but were significant steps towards building a new
sense of belonging and hope.
Internally, Tiger wrestled with a multitude of
emotions—anger, guilt, and an all-encompassing longing for
her mother. The fight against these inner demons was as
taxing as the external adjustments she had to make. But it
was through this internal struggle that she began to
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understand the depths of her grief and started to embrace the
unpredictable process of healing. Mental health became an
integral part of her journey, and acknowledging her need for
help opened doors to therapeutic avenues that supported her
recovery.
Rebuilding her life from these ashes, Tiger found within
herself reservoirs of strength she had previously been
unaware of. As she pieced together her identity from the
fragments of her old life and new experiences, she discovered
passions and strengths that had lain dormant. This was not
just about survival, but about finding a purpose and joy in
living again. Education, creativity, and new goals paved the
way for her to envisage a future built on her terms.
The evolution of her concept of family became crucial in this
phase. She learned that family is not always defined by blood
but by the love and support that people show towards one
another. As she reconfigured her idea of what family meant,
a new network of connections emerged—a chosen family
that provided her with the stability and love reminiscent of
what she once had with her mother.
As Tiger steps into her future, she carries with her the
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integration of her mother's memory—no longer as a source of
relentless pain, but as a cherished part of her tapestry of
experiences. This acceptance allows her to honor her mother
while also embracing the possibilities that lie ahead.
Tiger’s resilience is a testament to the strength of the human
spirit to adapt and thrive despite overwhelming hardship. Her
story is a beacon of hope to others who find themselves
submerged in similar grief; it posits that healing is not a
straight path but a journey marked by both setbacks and
victories. Through Tiger’s experiences, Kathleen Glasgow
emphasizes the significance of community, personal growth,
and the unyielding nature of hope.
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