1.

To begin
2. Chapter One (Edited 8/28/2020)
3. Chapter Two (Edited 8/28/2020)
4. Chapter Three (Edited 8/29/2020)
5. Chapter Four (Edited 8/29/2020)
6. Chapter Five (Edited 8/30/2020)
7. Chapter Six (Edited 8/30/2020)
8. Chapter Seven (Edited 8/31/2020)
9. Chapter Eight (Edited 9/1/2020)
10. Chapter Nine (Edited 9/2/2020)
11. Chapter Ten (Edited 9/10/2020)
12. Chapter Eleven (Edited 9/14/2020)
13. Chapter Twelve (Edited 9/17/2020)
14. Chapter Thirteen (NEW as of 9/27/2020)
15. Chapter Fourteen (Edited 9/29/2020)
16. Chapter Fifteen (Edited 9/30/2020)
17. Chapter Sixteen (Edited 10/1/2020)
18. Chapter Seventeen (Edited 10/2/2020)
19. Chapter Eighteen (Edited 10/6/2020)
20. Chapter Nineteen (Edited 10/9/2020)
21. Chapter Twenty (Edited 10/10/2020)
22. Chapter Twenty One (Edited 10/25/2020)
23. Chapter Twenty Two (Edited 10/26/2020)
24. Chapter Twenty Three (Edited 10/27/2020)
25. Chapter Twenty Four (Edited 10/29/2020)
26. Chapter Twenty Five (Edited 10/31/2020)
27. Chapter Twenty Six (Edited 11/3/2020)
28. Chapter Twenty Seven (Edited 12/8/2020)
29. Chapter Twenty Eight (Edited 12/12/2020)
30. Chapter Twenty Nine (Edited 12/14/2020)
31. Chapter Thirty (Edited 1/5/2021)
32. Chapter Thirty One (Edited 1/17/2021)
33. Chapter Thirty Two (Edited 1/17/2021)
34. Chapter Thirty Three (Edited 1/30/2021)
35. Chapter Thirty Four (Edited 7/14/2021)
36. Chapter Thirty Five (Edited 8/6/2021)
37. Chapter Thirty Six (Edited 8/25/2021)
38. Chapter Thirty Seven (Edited 9/10/2021)
39. Chapter Thirty Eight (Edited 9/14/2021)
40. Chapter Thirty Nine (Edited 12/12/2021)
41. Chapter Forty (Edited 1/7/2022)
42. Chapter Forty One (Edited 1/8/2022)
43. Chapter Forty Two (Edited 6/13/2022)
44. Chapter One - Sponsored by Prime Video
45. Chapter Two - Sponsored by Prime Video
46. Chapter Three - Sponsored by Prime Video
47. One More Bonus Chapter
48. Author's Note
49. My other books!
50. PUBLISHING NEWS
51. Dare To Dream
To begin
Different Summary as promised:

"Sunshine, what guy do you know has a weird fetish with sign language?"

After one horrific night in ninth grade, Raine Winter lost her voice and
became the known mute.

After one game changing event, West Love got sent to juvie and became the
town's delinquent.

With the traumatizing night that stole her voice still plaguing Raine's mind,
she was never able to get her voice back. She learned sign language to
communicate, and her brother and closest friends learned it along with her.
She became accustomed to the style and the reputation, until the towns
infamous bad boy delinquent came back to school. He's cocky, mysterious,
and undoubtedly sexy.

He found an interest in Raine, but not just because of her lack of a voice.
He has no trouble annoying her to death with his constant smirks and
flirtatious attitude, but will he have trouble making her fall for him?

Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, but it doesn't always
work how it's supposed to.

---

As of August, 2020:

This is the edited, 2020/21/22 version of Silently Falling. Every chapter

title says the date the chapter was edited. The entire story is still going
under the revision process, so please be aware of that.

It will be fully edited in January of 2022.

The UNEDITED, original version is posted as a SEPARATE book on
my profile.

---

Publishing News

This book has been published under a new title "Just A Sign." !!!! This is a
French publication, so it has been fully translated and is being sold on
Amazon, as well as in France. The French title is "Juste Un Signe".

I hope to have your support so that one day Silently Falling can also be
published in English! Unfortunately, that is not up to me to decide when it
may happen (or if it even will) so I need your continued support to make it
happen! :)

I could never have done this without y'all, thank you ❤️

---

Copyright Policy

I don't think I have to say this, but it's always good to include: DO NOT,
UNDER

ANY

CIRCUMSTANCES, COPY THIS STORY. It was created by me, written

by me, edited by me, and it will stay that way. If you see another story
eerily similar to this, please let me know. Thankfully I haven't seen any yet,
but you never know nowadays.

I'm aware of the books "Speak" and "Until Friday Night" and their
similarities to this book. I did

not know

these books existed until after I wrote Silently Falling. I did not copy them,
and I have checked them out to ensure I didn't involuntary steal those
authors storylines! They have similarities, but all in all my book is still
vastly different from theirs.

"Speak" is a beautiful novel that also tells the story of a girl who suffered a
sexual assault from her classmate. She rarely talks, but she is not "mute"
and it is not a romance.

"Until Friday Night" is about a girl who suffered a tragedy and she stopped
speaking because of it. But she was NOT sexually assaulted like my
character. And (this is where it gets a little embarrassing for me) the lead
male is also named West.... However, the storylines are still significantly
different. Silently Falling was written to dive into the life of a girl who was
sexually assaulted, Until Friday Night was not. I did not steal that authors'
work, and I promise I didn't steal the name "West" or the idea of the lead
female being mute. It's a crazy coincidence.

---

Disclaimer

This needs to be said because I've been seeing it time and time again. If
there's a part of the story you may not like, there's literally

no

need to start bashing the story for it.

Constructive criticism is welcome, but just being plain rude is completely

unnecessary.

I accept people who want to help with a spelling mistake here and there,
after all I was only 15 when I wrote and edited this book. There's bound to
be some mistakes lol!

Also:

This book does include swearing. It does include sensitive topics, such as
sexual assault, and it does dip into the teenage world of one night stands
and they are often mentioned. For the innocent minded, maybe wait a year
or two to read, for the rest of you... hehehehe 😈 have fun.

On a more serious note: as stated above, there will be constant mentioning

of sexual assault and rape. There are flashback scenes further in the book
(all italicized) that I recommend skipping if you are worried about being
triggered. That's the last thing that I want to happen. There are mild
instances of slut-shaming (which is pointed out in the book to be wrong).
Please be wary of this and understand that any disrespectful lines are not
from my own mind, but are simply for the story and the characters. (That is

It is only mentioned a handful of times, but I did want to mention it here).

---

Behind the Book:

I wrote this book to show one girl's journey through all of the losses she has
faced. I want to show people who have experienced loss that you don't
always have to deal with it alone. There are always people there for you,
and even if you don't blatantly express your sadness- people will see and
will be there to help guide you. So I hope you get a helpful message from
my book :)

I am (as of 2020) a junior at Virginia Tech studying Business Marketing. I

wrote Silently Falling when I was a sophomore in high school. It's crazy to
see how far it has come!

Thank you and enjoy the book ;) Be sure to comment as much as you please
and vote whenever you find yourself falling in love with the story. Don't be
a silent reader! It makes my day reading every review you amazing people
leave for me ❤️❤️

---
Chapter One (Edited 8/28/2020)
Silently Falling

Stretching my limbs, I'm rewarded with a popping sound at the give of my

stiff muscles, providing some relief after a long night of sleep. Yawning, I
get a taste of my morning breath and instantly cringe. You'd think that
toothpaste would do a better job ridding people of that.

I walk over to the mirror on the back of my closet door. I would have a
stand-alone mirror that didn't have to be shoved into my closet, but my
room is only big enough to house my full-size bed, my four-drawer dresser,
and a desk on the far side of my room against my windows. My room isn't
extremely small, but the neon green paint I begged for as a child makes it
feel much more closed in. I plan on re-painting my room every summer, but
every summer I conveniently have some sort of excuse. Catching my
reflection in the mirror, I have to double-take at the horrific sight staring
back at me.

I look like death.

No, I look like Medusa. Maybe even Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

They're all the same. Identical to the image staring back at me in the mirror.
My curls, dark brown that fade gently to dirty blonde as my hair reaches
mid-back, are all tangled and make my scalp ache from the awkward angles
they found themselves in last night. The mascara smeared over my face
makes my light blue eyes stand out even more than they should, and I
contemplate going for a smoky-eye look from now on, and there's even a bit
of drool caked on the corner of my mouth. Every morning.

Once I'm able to get my hair dealt with, I move onto cleaning my face in the
hallway bathroom, washing away the mascara from the day before and
being sure to scrub off the drool and any toothpaste stains from the bit that
dripped down my chin as I brushed. Some people wake up looking like
princesses, I am not one of those people. I walk back into my room and to
my white dresser with random nail polish stains from the times I
accidentally spilled through the years, reminding me that I need to invest in
a new dresser. Preferably one that isn't 16 years old.

Delicately, I pick up the necklace in its rightful place on top of my jewelry

box. I lift the small pendant and hook it around my neck, feeling the cool
touch of the diamond hitting the skin on my chest. I fiddle with the small
charm, feeling closer to my mother with it on. The clock next to my bed
reminds me that I need to get going if I don't want to be late for school, and
from the lack of noise down the hallway I realize my older brother isn't
even up yet. I walk down the hall, my feet comforted by the carpet as I pass
pictures lining the wall of memories I can never get back, and I stop at my
brothers room.

With no response after waiting two minutes after knocking, I open the door
to Toby's room. In seconds, I regret my decision when I see

two

naked bodies in his bed and I quickly retreat back to my room. One clearly
belongs to my brother, and the other to some girl that found herself in his
bed last night. I wish I could say I was surprised, but my brother is
notorious for this. I love him, but he has no shame.

I realize Toby most likely forgot to set his alarm last night since his mind
was...occupied with other matters at hand. So, I fish around in my desk for
the air horn I keep on hand for moments like this. I can't exactly crawl over
the naked girl to shake Toby awake, and I can't yell for them to wake up
either.

I haven't been able to speak since my freshman year of high school. Three
long years of silence that I would give anything to break but an unable to.
Three long years since that one fateful night that stole my voice, my pride,
and my innocence. There's some sort of mental block that won't allow me to
speak, a PTSD of sorts. At least, that's what the doctors said when it first
happened. I believe them. That night still haunts me when I close my eyes
to go to sleep.
I was at my first party. My older brother, Toby, has always been with the 'it'
crowd. Even as a sophomore he was being invited to the senior parties, and
he rarely turned them down. One day he finally gave in and let me and my
best friend, Alyse, tag along with him and his best friend, Warren.

Warren was a big part of the reason I wanted to go so badly. He was my

brother's hot best friend, and I wanted the cliché love story where we fell in
love and lived happily ever after. I figured a party would be a good start to
that, he would finally notice me as more than just his best friend's little
sister. I was so naïve.

Much to my surprise, it worked. Warren was all over me. He was constantly
making sure my drink was full, taught me how to play the drinking games,
and had me attached to his side the whole time. I felt like I was on cloud-
nine. I had a crush on Warren since he and Toby became friends back in
fifth grade. Toby didn't think twice about it, he was off on his own flirting
with the senior girls that would give him the time of day. He figured I was
safe with his best friend. So did I.

However, soon enough I realized I drank too much. I started to feel sick, I
was incoherent, the room was spinning. Warren quickly noticed and offered
to take me away from the party and upstairs so I could lay down, and I let
him. He seemed worried about my disoriented state of mind. I soon passed
out, only to wake up to a throbbing pain down below, and it didn't take long
for me to realize what had happened. My innocence was gone, snatched
from me against my will.

I haven't spoken since.

Memories of what happened came back to me in waves in the days after it

happened. My dad put me into therapy. Through meeting with me therapist,
I was able to recall certain details that I wish I never did. They thought that
having me remember and writing about what happened would help my
voice come back, but soon my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD that was
blocking me from being able to talk and shortly after that I stopped trying. I
ended up learning sign language as my way of communicating, or writing
things down since the majority of people don't understand ASL. Toby and
my dad learned it with me, as well as my closest friends.
I shake my head and walk back down the hall and into Toby's room, blaring
the air horn into the silence. Flinching at the noise, I watch as they both
shoot up in a panic, but seconds later Toby's blue eyes land on me and he
groans, burying his head under the pillow while the girl next to him tries to
hide under him, frantically asking what's going on. I suppose I could have
chosen another plan of action to wake them, one that may not have been as
traumatizing for the girl, but nothing beats the sound of an air-horn.

I go downstairs to start cooking breakfast for Toby and me. I would make
some for the girl too, but I know my brother's ways. She won't stay for
longer than another few minutes, repulsed by my brother and his player
ways.

As though acting out my thoughts, angered footsteps come storming down

the steps and an equally pissed off voice follows.

"Lose my number, asshole!"

The front door slams shut, echoing in the house. I'm surprised the poor girl
was even allowed to stay the whole night, Toby usually kicks them out after
he's had his fun. I don't condone what he does, but I've learned that I can't
necessarily stop him.

I frown and pour the pancake batter onto the griddle, shaking my head
slightly at my brothers antics. He has a new girl at least once a week, and
this girl lasted one night before being kicked out. Most don't last longer
than that. Toby is famous for his record of one night stands. It's not exactly
a superlative I would want to have, and it's not exactly something I like to
brag about at family reunions.

I flip the pancakes onto a plate and set it in the middle of the counter,
counting the seconds until my brother will come bounding down the stairs.
I'm sure the scent of our breakfast has drifted up through the ceiling and is
just now reaching his room.

Five.

Four.
Three.

Two-

Here he is.

He comes sauntering into the kitchen, his eyes set on the pancakes. He
looks to me and smiles gratefully, messing up my hair.

"Thanks Raine," he says, taking his seat at the counter before digging into
his breakfast. "I think this is your best batch of pancakes."

I smile and nod my response. He keeps shoveling them into his mouth, the
large stack getting smaller with each passing second, and my eyes divert to
the fridge. I look at one particular picture sticking to it with a blue magnet,
standing out against the black of the fridge, and a frown etches its way onto
my lips. It's of Toby and I with our parents. I'm no older than four years old,
and he's no older than five. If you didn't know he was a grade above me you
would think we were twins with how similar our looks are.

My free hand comes up to play with the necklace around my neck; my

mother's necklace. She passed away when I was five, car accident. She was
driving to pick Toby up from his soccer game that my dad had to leave
early to go get me from daycare. A truck ran his stop sign, barreling into my
mom on the drivers side.

My father instantly jumped into care mode for my brother and I after the
funeral, never really giving himself the chance to grieve. I knew her death
affected him greatly, he loved my mom so much I wondered if he even
loved her more than Toby and I. I don't ever remember a sour moment
between the two; we were kind of like the golden family.

But when she was killed, we lost that reputation. Our father didn't take his
anger or grief out on his kids, nor did he end up drinking his sorrow away.
He cared for Toby and I the best he could being a single father with a full
time job, and yet he refused to marry anyone else to get help. He wasn't
used to being a single father, and he had a tough time adjusting. There were
times he would forget to pick Toby or I up from practice or school, or he
would forget to buy certain groceries at the store, but we loved him
regardless because he was there for us.

When I turned 12 his business took off. It became a big name in the
business world, and he was forced to get an apartment in New York, leaving
Toby and I back here in the suburbs of Chicago with a nanny. He started
burying himself in his work, rarely flying back home to see us.

The day he told us he was leaving was the day we lost both our parents.

The last time we saw him was a week or two ago, and I don't know when
we will see him again. Toby and I stopped asking when he stopped giving
definite answers.

I realize I've been staring at a picture of something that will be no more and
quickly look away. My stomach whines and reminds me I haven't even
touched my food, so I lift my fork and cut into the pile of pancakes I was
sure to put aside for myself. I curiously look at Toby who's still wolfing
down his breakfast. I silently chuckle at him and wave to get his attention.
He notices and looks up at me, swallowing his bite of pancake.

I set down my plate and instantly sign my question.

"Who was the girl?"

His eyes divert to his food and he cuts his last pancake before answering
nonchalantly. "I think her name was Samantha or something. She goes to
either Long Grove High or Rockville High. And, just so you know, I didn't
really appreciate our wake-up call this morning."

I smile innocently with a shrug. "

What was I supposed to do? You were running late.

"

"You scared the girl half to death."

"Not my fault..."
I sign with another shrug, eating the rest of my food. Not nearly as fast or
caveman-ish as my brother though. I may not have grown up with a mother,
but I know manners.

I hear the front door open and not a second later Alyse, my best friend,
comes walking into the kitchen. Alyse and I are polar opposites in terms of
looks. While I have baby blue eyes with long, brunette hair, she has striking
green eyes with short, blonde hair. I'm rather tall, standing close to 5'9", and
Alyse is the perfect height for a teenage girl- no taller than 5'5".

"Good morning!" She announces as she walks in through the doorway,

smiling widely at me.

I wave at her, putting mine and Toby's plate into the sink.

Alyse has been my best friend since seventh grade, and she learned sign
language as well. It took her slightly longer to learn as she started after
Toby and I, but she learned it for me nonetheless. It's relieving and
heartwarming to know that those closest to me did that for me. It's relieving
that they still love me for who I am, even with no voice, and it's
heartwarming that they care so much. After an experience like the one I
had, knowing I have the love from them that I do...it helped with the
healing process.

"Thank you for my greeting, Alyse." Toby says sarcastically from his seat.

She chuckles, "Good morning Toby, nice sex hair." She comments slyly.

He scowls and runs his hand through it. "That noticeable?"

We both nod and he gets up to go to the bathroom, grumbling profanities

under his breath.

I look at Alyse,

"Want some breakfast?"

She shakes her head, "I ate before I left. So, who was it this time?" She
asks, referring to my womanizer of a brother and his girl of choice.

"Some girl."

Alyse rolls her eyes. "Well obviously. I meant like does she go to our
school?"

I shake my head.

She purses her lips and nods, getting lost in her own head, but I don't miss
the flash of sadness that crosses her eyes. I frown and put a hand on her
shoulder to get her attention. When she looks back at me I drop my hand
and sign to her reassuringly.

"He's an idiot, he will realize what he's doing is wrong and stop it one day.
Then he can come running to you."

She laughs sadly and shakes her head at me. "Yeah, right."

"You two ready to go?" Toby asks as he comes back into the room with his
hair wet and no longer messed up from his fun night.

We nod and he grabs his keys and backpack, Alyse and I following. We get
into his Ford F-150 Raptor and start driving to school with the radio
cranked up. I look over at my unusually quiet friend and my lips turn down.
Usually she's jamming out to the music along with Toby, but now she's
looking out the window sorrowfully.

I'm not the only one with family problems. Alyse's father passed away when
we were in 8th grade, and her mother hasn't been the same since. But I
know that's not what she's upset about right now. She has a hopeless crush
on Toby, a cliche just like mine was with Warren. Of course, what happened
to me will never happen to her. My brother is a womanizer, but he would

never

do to anyone what Warren did to me.

Thanks so much for taking a chance with this story :) Be sure to vote!

*8/28/2020 - Since I have done extensive edits to this chapter, some of you
RR's may notice that your comments are gone. Wattpad takes away
comments when sections are edited (I'm not sure why), so it is rather
unfortunate that I lost a huge chunk of comments on this chapter. But please
comment away to get them back up!

*note* I added description of Raine and Alyse in 2021 to this chapter. I am

not sure if that description changes throughout the story because I forget
where I wrote it; if it does, I'm sorry! I will try to keep it consistent, but stick
to the description this chapter provides and if you see changes later on
please PM me where so I can alter it!!
Chapter Two (Edited 8/28/2020)
Silently Falling Chapter Two

Once we got to school, Alyse and I started out walk to Music class while
Toby hung back by his truck to flirt with some other seniors gawking over
him.

Alyse and I carefully maneuver our ways through the dull blue hallways of
East Bridge High School, every other locker stamped with a blue and gold
Spartan head, our schools mascot.

"When was the last time you and I watched

The Hunger Games?"

Alyse asks.

"Two weeks ago?"

"We need to watch it again. I saw a tweet about Jennifer Lawrence's

ridiculous crying face, so I have to see for myself if it's that bad."

"Every actress has her own crying face, you really think hers is that bad?"

"The tweet seemed to think so."

We reach our Music class, just a short walk from the entrance to school. I
follow Alyse through our chatting classmates to our normal seat to the left
and in the front. I can't sit too far back in any class because if a teacher
wants me to be a part of the discussion, I have to write my response on my
trusty whiteboard. I take it with me to every class, otherwise participating is
a whole lot harder. It makes it easy for people to buy me birthday presents-
every year I think I get 10 new packs of dry erase markers.

"Okay, show me a better crying face then."

Alyse freezes at my response, shifting awkwardly in her seat as she glances
around at our classmates. "Right here?"

I nod.

"Right now?"

Another nod.

"What if the new guy is in this class, though?" She rushes out in a voice just
louder than a whisper.

I scrunch my face up in confusion, and Alyse tilts her head.

"You haven't heard?"

"No, what new guy?"

"I haven't heard too much about it, but apparently everyone found out he
was coming over the weekend. Word is it's West."

I just stare blankly at her. Is that supposed to mean something to me?

"West

Love."

Alyse adds with more emphasis.

I finally show her the reaction she was waiting for, shock prevalent on my
face, and she gives an over dramatic nod.

"The dude who was sent to jail when he was 17? That West Love?"

"Well juvie not jail, but yes that's the one. And before you ask, no. No one
is certain of why he went in. You've heard all the rumors, though. One of
them is bound to be true."
My mouth is agape, but Alyse has turned her attention to her phone to stalk
Toby's Instagram for the millionth time. Just as I'm about to wave my hand
near her face to gain her attention again, I hear our music teacher, Mr. C,
call for me. I glance to the front of the room where he's standing in front of
the whiteboard, a warm smile on his chestnut skin.

"Good morning,"

he signs.

Mr. C is the one teacher of mine who took the time to learn sign language
for me. He's been my music teacher since freshman year, and he refused to
let me drop just for my lack of a voice. Instead, rather than pushing me over
to band where I would be the only pianist, he broadened this class to
include a role for a pianist. Typically, this is a class for chorus, but Mr. C
gives me alternate assignments to earn my credits. He has me play the piano
for warm-ups, for rehearsals, and even at our concerts in order to pass. It's
sort of like a year-long piano class.

On top of that, Mr. C has given me the responsibility of writing extra pieces
for our concerts. Lyrics, sheet music, the whole nine-years. It can be a
daunting task, of course, being a high school composer, but I have come to
love it even more than I once loved singing. Not to mention it gives our
school a huge leg up at competitions on the sole fact our music is written
and played by a student.

I go and sit by the piano as Mr. C gets the class quiet, and I catch Alyse's
eye. She smiles at me and I begin to play the notes for the class to warm up
their voices, but the rumor about West Love entering our school plagues the
back of my mind and keeps me on alert.

OoO

Once Music ended, Alyse and I went our separate way to our respective
classes. I always meet Toby at my locker for second period, and every now
and then Alyse will tag along because she 'needs to get something from her
locker' that's conveniently right next to mine.
"Hey sis, how was class? You mess up on the piano in front of all those
watching eyes yet?"

I scowl at Toby, debating giving him the finger.

"No, I did perfectly fine as usual."

He grins at my response, throwing his arm around my shoulders to pull me

in for a side hug. "Aw, come on Raine, I was just teasing."

I am about to sign my response, but I notice his attention get pulled away
by a few girls that saunter by and playfully bat their lashes at him. He sends
them his trademarked Toby wink, giving each of them a little bit of hope.

I swear almost every girl at this school wishes for my brother to make their
fantasies come true. The way they look at him suggests they've read one too
many romance novels and dream to be the girl that ends his playerish ways.

The thought leaves me chuckling silently to myself. As if. The only girl that
could potentially make my brother finally grow up would be Alyse, but
she's too dense to see that and he's too horny to come to terms with it.

"Hey, Raine!"

My attention is brought down the hallway as my ex, Kyle, walks towards

us. The hallway is clearing out now, but he wouldn't have been hard to miss
anyways. Kyle is potentially the tallest guy at school, which placed him
right on the basketball team. He's cute, with buzzed blonde hair and brown
eyes, but things between us never worked out.

Toby growls under his breath and pulls me closer to him, his arm resting
around my shoulder protectively. I may love him, but good god he put on
way too much cologne this morning.

My eyes are starting to water.

I offer Kyle a nod of greeting with a smile, but we don't stop to 'talk.' It's
been a few months since I broke up with him, but we were never serious in
the first place. After I was...assaulted, Toby became even more
overprotective of me than the typical older brother. I've never minded it too
much, I know the guilt he carries after that night. I've tried to reassure him
that it wasn't his fault, but he never really listens or wants to discuss it. He
thinks he failed me as my older brother, like he let me down somehow. So
now, he makes up for it by scaring off most of the guys that look my way. It
can get annoying, but it does help with the never ending fear of being taken
advantage of.

Kyle was the first guy to truly gain Toby's approval, and rightfully so. He's
a very sweet guy, actively involved in Young Life, varsity athlete, and a
stellar home life. Things between us could have worked out, aside from his
hero complex. He had it programmed into his brain that if we dated, he
could get me to talk. Every date he would spend part of our time trying to
get me to say something, anything. He didn't understand that trying only
hurts me because it reminds me that even if I want to, I really

can't

talk. And now, most guys at school have the same sick fantasy: to be the
one that gets the mute girl to talk.

I don't know why it's such an interest. But you'd think that instead of trying
to force me out of my comfort zone, maybe a guy that shows interest in me
would try and learn sign language instead. Otherwise, I don't want to feel
like a challenge.

Toby jostles me from my thoughts when we reach our class, AP US History.

Walking around the tables that sit four each, we head to our unofficially
claimed table with our friend Gray. He's busy flirting with a transfer student
sitting a table over, but when we walk up he directs his attention back to us,
quickly telling her that he'll talk to her later. Gray is no different from my
brother with his player-ish ways.

"Hey man, hey Raine. You look awfully cute today," he says warmly.

His words could be mistaken as flirtatious, as the transfer student seems to

think from the daggers her eyes are sending me, but I know Gray means it
in a friendly way. Gray is the same year as my brother, a senior. And while
I'm only a year younger, Gray still sees me as the teddy bear baby sister that
he wants to protect just as much as Toby.

I wave hello to him, taking my seat at the table across from him and Toby.

Gray just became our friend last year when he moved here from Alabama,
and I can see why so many girls fall at his feet. He has dirty blonde hair
that's always styled perfectly and cheekbones that girls dream their
boyfriends would have. He has bright blue eyes that are lit with knowledge,
his semi-nerdy ways a nice plus to draw girls in.

He's much different from my brother. My brother's constant 'couldn't care

less' attitude is what draws girls to him. Not to mention he goes to the gym
every freaking day, and it's paid off. Both he and Gray have nice bodies,
and girls surely don't fail to notice.

Just as the bell rings, Tyler, our other friend, comes bounding into the room
at the final ring. He gives the teacher a large smile before walking to the
back towards us, taking his seat next to me.

He beams at me, slightly out of breath from no doubt sprinting to make it

here on time.

I chuckle,

"Hi Tyler."

"Hey Raine. Hey Gray. Hey Toby." He says, smiling at each of us before
looking back at me with his piercingly bright eyes.

Tyler is very different from Gray and Toby. He doesn't have the careless
attitude of my brother or the brains of Gray. No, Tyler is the clown of the
trio.

He attracts girls with his childish, joking, and slightly stupid behavior. Not
to mention he has dark black hair and a large build, complete with a sturdy
jaw line, and he definitely doesn't fall short in the muscle department either.
All three of them are attractive, most girls like to describe them as the
hottest guys at our school.

They're the famous trio: all three known to be the players of East Bridge
High School. They are the guys that girls flock to day after day, and they
can't seem to turn any of them down. Not one of them can keep it in their
pants for over a week, which again I don't condone at all, but I love them
nonetheless. Alyse and I seem to be the only two girls of the school that
don't fawn over them, which for me may be because I see them all as older
brothers, and that's why our group works out so well.

"So, you guys will never guess what happened!" Tyler exclaims to us, his
voice giddy with excitement.

"We're waiting on the edge of our seats," Toby deadpans.

"The reason I was almost late to class was because I ran into the new guy.
Like, literally. I was talking to that Lucy girl-"

Her name is Lilly.

"-And when I went to leave I accidentally rammed right into him. I

stumbled back a little, but luckily neither of us fell."

"New guy?"

I sign, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up as I remember my

conversation with Alyse this morning.

Please tell me there's a different new guy that he's talking about.

"He got here today! So anyways, after I apologized and everything I noticed
the fact he was wearing a leather jacket and whatnot, cliché I know. But,
naturally I figured he was a cool guy and invited him to sit with us at
lunch," he states proudly, as though waiting for us to praise him.

I smile at his childish antics, and he beams at me only to have it quickly

turn to a grimace as Toby reaches across the table to smacks him in the back
of the head.
"Ow! What was that for?" He pouts, rubbing the spot.

I turn to Toby, confused myself as to why he's practically glaring at Tyler.

"Look, I know you aren't one to really welcome new-comers but-"

"You're right, I like our group as it is. But do you have any idea who this
new guy is?" Toby says harshly, sitting up in his seat instead of lounging
back in it.

"Yeah, I mean he said his name was West Love but-" Tyler stops and raises
his brows in realization. "-Oh..."

"Yeah,

oh."

Toby growls. "I don't need some creep around my sister. Not again."

"How did you not put two and two together?" Gray questions.

I wince slightly at the fact Toby brought

him

up and that night, but I shake it off. Tyler frowns at me and scoots closer,
picking up on my discomfort with the new topic of conversation. It's
enough to have what happened to me constantly on my mind, I don't need
my friends to talk about it too.

I change my thoughts to everything I've heard about the new guy; West.
He's known for being a troublemaker, finally being put in juvie just seven
months ago. The rumors of how he got arrested range everywhere from him
getting one too many citations for smoking weed to go as far as to say he
killed someone, and they mention everything in between.

I've heard almost every possibility there is, but most of all I've heard he isn't
someone to mess with, and it's starting to sync in that I can't do the logical
thing and avoid him. Because Tyler's heart is bigger than his brain and he
invited him to sit with us.

"Why'd you have to invite him to sit with us, Tyler?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't register that he was

that

West Love."

"Oh, right sorry I forgot how popular of a name it is."

I sign, my eyes bleeding sarcasm to get that tone across.

Panic starts to rise in my chest, but Toby speaks up.

"Raine, it'll be okay. First of all, he can't be that bad if he is already back at
school. And second, you have us three, you really think we're going to let
anything happen to you?"

"He's right," Gray adds.

"Yeah come on Raine, no one would mess with you so long as I'm here."
Tyler adds, puffing up his chest.

Already, I can feel my mind and body begin to calm down and I smile
warmly at the two of them, shoving Tyler playfully.

"For the record, Tyler, you're kind of an idiot."

Instantly his pout turns into a full blown smile. "But you love me anyways."

---

8/28/2020 - Edited. Nothing major changed, just flow of conversations :)

Chapter Three (Edited 8/29/2020)
Amazing cover done by WindingWonka ! Thanks a bunch, it's awesome :)
Silently Falling: Chapter Three

The rest of the period slowly drags by, and as much as I try to focus on our
lecture my mind can't seem to get off of West. I know Toby and the others
reassured me that everything will be okay, and what are the odds West is
anything like what I'm fearing? My mind may be scaring me more than
reality will, but I can't get it to stop.

I'm not even able to calm my mind by just looking online to see what he got
busted for. Somehow, West Love has been able to remain a complete
mystery. His name is well known, but I haven't actually heard anyone give a
description of him. He somehow has evaded social media, cameras, and
news outlets. Before getting sent to juvie and then coming here, West went
to a school known to house the unruly kids a few towns over. He truly is a
mystery that I'm both curious and scared to solve. People at my school all
have their own theories. They have their own guesses as to what he looks
like.

I've heard he's covered in tattoos, then I've also heard he only has one single
tattoo and it's placed on his neck. I've heard he's large and tan, and I've
heard he's skinny and pale. I've heard he's covered in muscle, and I've heard
he's covered in fat. I've heard he has long black hair, and I've heard he has
short blonde hair. I've heard he's attractive, but I've also heard he has scars
covering his face.

Most of all, I've heard he's scary enough to have John Cena running into
hiding, making his 'you can't see me' bit come a reality.

After class, Gray, Toby, Tyler, and I meet up with Alyse to go to lunch.

"What if he's actually extremely handsome? Oh my gosh,

no
. What if he's actually, like, five foot one? I mean, I have nothing against
short guys, but that would definitely be a blow to the reputation he's already
manifested here... NO. What if he has an acne covered face and gold teeth
to top it off?" Alyse rambles, her imagination going wild.

"If he was so short, do you think he'd have such a scary reputation?"

"That's a blow to the short fellas, Raine," Gray says.

"I'm just saying that most intimidating guys are the one's who tower over
you."

I don't mean what I sign to be any hint to what happened to me, but once
everyone comprehends my signs... the mood seems to shift. I notice Alyse
place her attention fully on me instead of her mental images of West, Gray
shift uncomfortably, Toby's face harden, and Tyler's cheerful smile slip into
a frown.

"But, Tyler is only 5' 9" and I could see him maybe scaring some people?"

I sign to lift the mood.

"5'9" is not short!" Tyler defends, causing everyone else to chuckle.

"No, you're right it's rather tall. For a girl." Toby snickers.

"It's average for a guy," he mutters.

"You'd know a thing or two about being average, wouldn't you Tyler?" Gray
adds, and the rest of us burst into another fit of laughter.

"Okay! Is today 'pick on Tyler day' or something?" He exclaims, his face

turning red from embarrassment.

I wave to get his attention on my hands.

"Tyler, that's every day."

His narrowed eyes move from my hands to my face, but his attempt to keep
a strict expression crumbles and his lips perk up into a grin.

"Okay, okay. Tyler is short, his package is average, blah blah blah. But back
to the matter at hand!" Alyse says, and I silently giggle as Tyler gets beet
red again. "Is West short with acne or tall with tattoos? Place your votes
now before we reach the cafeteria."

"You know, I could just tell you." Tyler pipes up from next to Alyse, "I did
run into him earlier."

"That would ruin the guessing game."

"Sis, you and Alyse are the only two playing," Toby says. "Actually, scratch
that. Alyse is really the only one playing. Who would have thought you'd be
so intrigued over the new guy?" He says, sending her a small smirk that I
know most likely has her at a loss for a response.

I back her up,

"There's never much drama at this school, who knows when we will have a
moment like this again? Besides, it's nice to finally hear people fawn over a
guy that's not one of you three."

I meant it as more of an insult, but if anything I think I just added to their

already ridiculous egos.

"You know what? You're right, Raine. We should share some of this fame,"
Tyler says.

Gray nods, "We can't always have

all

the fun."

"Well, we can, but it's nice to share every now and then," Toby adds.
The three of them start up their own conversation, literally deciding which
girls to partition out if West happens to be as good looking as some theories
suggest.

They are pigs.

"Hey, I never really asked, are you doing okay with knowing that West
might sit with us?" Alyse asks, easily tuning the boys out.

I shift my attention to her, warmed by the genuine concern on her face.

"I don't know. I'm anxious, but I can't hide from every guy who might have a
bad reputation. That is unrealistic, and I feel like I'm being over dramatic."

"Over dramatic? Raine, you are entitled to feel however you want to feel,
and I understand if this is difficult for you. West has a reputation; he's been
arrested, went to court, went to juvie. If there's ever a time for you to
actually feel a little unnerved by a guy, I would say this is it."

I blink at her.

"Is this your version of a pep talk? Because if so, you really suck at it."

"I'll pretend I didn't comprehend that last part," she mumbles, "But I'm just
trying to reassure you that it's okay if you're nervous. It's not too late to call
this off, we can always go off campus for lunch and leave West to the
guys."

I smile at her, stopping in the hallway to hug her.

"Thank you, but I can't avoid the guy forever. May as well meet him now,
right?"

Alyse lifts her eyes from my hands to meet my gaze and watches me for a
moment or two before sighing. "Okay, but if you get uncomfortable just let
me know and I can fake some sort of bathroom emergency that I need you
to tag along for."
Her response has me smiling and I hug her again. It's always nice to have a
friend you can count on.

We reach the cafeteria, instantly met with the loud chatter from the whole
school being in one confined area. It's a good thing we aren't in some global
pandemic, but what are the odds of that happening anyways. I take in a
deep breath, calming myself as we all walk towards the line to get some
food.

"You ready?" Alyse asks as we walk.

I nod,

"Aren't you a little intimidated, too? I mean, we've both heard the rumors."

"I guess a little, but I'm more of an excited nervous. I will just have to
watch what I say, I've heard he has a short temper... And who knows what
he would do if we set him off?"

I nod distractedly, reaching out to grab my lunch for the day once we finally
reach the food. I scan the options and settle for cheese sticks and chips. Our
school actually has decent food, it doesn't taste like cardboard as the
school's around us do. We pay for our food and head to our table, Alyse
doesn't ask me much since I can't really communicate with her with a tray
in my hands.

I kinda need those to talk.

We reach our circular table and sit down in our usual spots. I sit between
Toby and Tyler, Alyse next to him, and Gray on the other side next to Toby
which leaves one empty seat. Perfect for the criminal we are about to
welcome to our group.

About ten minutes into lunch, Toby points out the obvious. That West still
hasn't showed.

"So Tyler, where's West?"

Tyler looks around the lunch room and sighs. "I don't know. I told him
where we sit."

Gray shrugs, "Maybe he blew off the offer."

"No, who would want to sit alone on their first day?"

"From everything I've heard about him, I don't think this West fella would
mind." Gray comments, biting into his sandwich.

I look at it, cringing at the mustard leaking from the middle. I watch in
distaste as it falls onto his plastic bag he's using as a plate and I almost gag.

"How can you eat that? It's disgusting..."

I sign with a disturbed shiver.

He looks down at it and chuckles, "Don't knock it till you try it, Raine.
Want a bite?"

My eyes widen and I shake my head quickly. The boys laugh while Alyse
stares at the sandwich with just as much disgust as me.

"I think my sandwich is even better," Tyler comments from next to me, and
I turn my head to see his so called sandwich.

It's literally bigger than my head. It has layers upon layers of bacon, a sliver
of lettuce and tomato, and it too is dripping with condiments. But, his
doesn't look nearly as disgusting.

I could go for a BLT.

The tomato I could do without, and the lettuce. And the mayo would have
to go...at this point I would ditch the bread too.

So I really just want some bacon.

"It's a wonder how you boys stay so fit." Alyse mutters, biting into her
cheese stick.
I nod my agreement, eating my own food.

Tyler smirks and flexes his arms. "Because I'm a stud," he says, nudging me
and earning an eye roll in response.

Only moments later, Tyler perks up and waves someone over. I instantly
freeze mid-bite. He must be calling West over. Looks like this mystery is
about to be solved. I feel my heart start to pound harder than necessary, my
hands going slightly clammy.

I feel a leg lightly bump reassuringly against mine and look over to Toby's
worried eyes. He gives me a small nod, letting me know he's right here and
I'm okay. It does the trick and my anxiety slowly fades, turning into
curiosity.

"See?"

Tyler says, standing up, "I told you guys he didn't ditch us!"

Instead of looking to who Tyler is walking towards, I keep my eyes on my

friends and their reactions. Alyse is smirking in anticipation, her shoulders
tight with excitement. Toby's face is calm and cool, yet there's an
undeniable threat behind his eyes. Gray is rolling his eyes at Tyler, barely
focused on the newcomer.

I still haven't looked at him. I'm scared at what I may see, at who

I may see.

"Guys, meet West."

I gather enough courage to look up.

Holy shit.

Even with all the assumptions on what West looks like, I had come up with
an image of my own.
I've always pictured him as a tall, skinny and lanky druggy with a
prominent Adam's-apple. I see him having tattoos of death here and there,
not too many on his arms but one crawling up his neck- literally.

I imagined it as a spider crawling up it's web, starting at the edge of his

shoulder and going up until it hits just below his jawline. As for his other
tattoos, I've imagined a snake stretching from his wrist up to his elbow,
swirling around his left arm. Then on the right I've always pictured a single
cross on his bicep to show he doesn't think he's that bad- but then a flaming
eyeball on his forearm because why not.

I've always assumed his eyes were black, the non-existent color bleeding
into his pupils with the rest rimmed red from all the pot he must smoke.
Kind of like the perfect face for a mug shot.

I know, talk about my mind feeding into stereotypes...

So, when I instead see a tall, clearly muscular figure with striking light
brown eyes and a handsomely sculpted face, I'm completely and utterly
shocked. My assumptions on his neck got destroyed; there's no ink
permanently on it. Next, my eyes trail to his arms to see if that assumption
was wrong too, and I see only a single word tatted upon them. Aside from
the slightly rugged look of his hair and his clothes, I never would have
guessed this...this God to be our towns Devil.

"Hey, I'm Gray Duncan." Gray introduces himself first, snapping me out of
staring.

Please tell me it wasn't obvious that I was gawking.

These three boys are going to have some serious competition. I mean, sure
Tyler and Gray are attractive and I know my brother is good looking, but
this West... I've always thought guys like him were only possible with photo
shop.

Any fear I previously had has vanished for the time being, which may make
him the most dangerous. Handsome men that make you put your guard
down are the one's who can take advantage the easiest.
"I'm Alyse Freedman."

"Toby." My brother greets gruffly.

West offers a smirk and I swear girls across the world swoon.

"West Love, but I assume you knew that already." He says, his eyes
flickering to me.

No wonder he had been able to stay out of jail for so long. His voice is deep
and smooth and the words flow from his tongue effortlessly. With a voice
like that, I bet he's convinced a lot of cops to let him get away.

"Come on Raine, how come you haven't said hello?" Tyler jokes, and I peel
my eyes from West to glare at him.

Low. Blow.

Tyler laughs at my antics and from the corner of my eye I see West raise a
perfect brow at me.

"Am I really that intimidating, Sunshine?" He asks, his lips still lit up in a
smirk.

Um. That is definitely not my name. Last I checked my name is kinda the
opposite of that.

I feel Toby instantly shift closer to me, his overprotective side coming out,
and I glance over to see him glaring daggers at West.

"Her name is Raine," he says harshly, but West's dark brown eyes don't shift
from me.

"She couldn't introduce herself?" He asks, finally moving his gaze.

The boys and Alyse look around at one another, silently deciding who and
how they should tell West that I can't talk.

"She can't talk," Toby finally says.

Well, that was easy.

West's eyebrows slightly raise, interest flickering into his expression.

"Deaf?"

I scowl, waving my hand to show that I can, in fact, hear him.

"I didn't say she can't hear," Toby snaps.

"She's mute," Tyler says for clarification.

West looks back at me, his smirk still there, but he doesn't say anything. He
just takes his seat between Gray and Alyse, and as I glance at her I see her
getting ready to sign something.

"Holy shit."

"Not what I was expecting,"

I sign back.

"Uh, you think? I cast my vote for short with acne, instead we got tall with a
jawline that could cut you if you got too close!"

"Don't forget dangerously handsome!"

Gray chuckles slightly, reading in on our conversation. Thankfully no one

else but these four can. The perks of sign language; I can say whatever I
want about someone and no one but my close friends will know because
others won't understand. But I had to give up talking to receive the perk.

"Sunshine, I know I turn a lot of heads but there's no need to talk about
me." West all of the sudden speaks up, and my eyes shoot to him. He's still
smirking, his head cocked slightly to go with the look.

My panicked eyes snap to Alyse and she looks back at him just as panicked.

"You, uh, you know sign language?"

He looks over at her, "No." Then his eyes divert back to me. "But from the
look on both your faces, I'll take my chances in saying I was right."

I look away and fight the blush that threatens to appear. If I don't fall for
Gray or Tyler, then I certainly will not be letting the criminal get me this
flustered. Toby growls under his breath and puts his arm around my
shoulders. I'm not letting him get the last word, so I sign up to Toby to
translate for me.

"And... from the way you're blatantly staring, I assume you think mute's are
also blind?" He echoes, and I turn to West with a sly grin.

The others laugh as West meets my challenging gaze. His eyes slightly
intimidate me as I remember all the rumors I've heard, but I don't drop my
gaze. To my surprise, he doesn't scare me.

"Well I've never seen a mute before," he responds.

I remember that this isn't just some new boy; this is

West Love

. The boy who spent over half a year in juvie. The boy who allegedly
smokes weed every day, stole a car, robbed a store, has committed a
murder, etc etc.

No, he is definitely not just some new boy. He's scarier, deadlier, and much,
much sexier.

I can sense Toby getting ready to snap at West. But before he can, Tyler
speaks up.

"So, West. I guess I should give you a run down of the school," He begins
before going into depth on the way our high school works.

Half way through his explanation I feel my brother stiffen a considerable

amount and Tyler stops half-way into his sentence.
"The one teacher you have to make sure to stay away from though-" He
starts, but abruptly stops when his eyes follow Toby's.

"Mrs. Pitts." A bone chilling voice says, and instantly my body stiffens just
like the boys' do.

Tyler, Gray, and Toby all stand up and I keep my eyes trained tightly on my
food. I feel Alyse's eyes on me and I glance at her; her gaze diverts to the
boys, her jaw clenched and body stiff like mine.

I was raped my freshman year, but I didn't get any justice when we took the
case to court. My rapist got away with simple parole, and the worst part-He
still goes to my school, and he's standing in front of my table.

"Warren."

---

8/29/2020 - A few dialogue changes, nothing major to the plot.

Chapter Four (Edited 8/29/2020)
Brilliant cover made by @erca_bush

Silently Falling: Chapter Four

My body freezes. My mind travels to that one night. My eyes stick to my

tray of food that now just makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Toby, Tyler, and Gray each stand to block my view of Warren and vise
versa. They do this every time he comes around so I won't have to look at
him.

My rapist.

He never got serious penalties for what he did to me. His father is a lawyer,
and a damn good one at that. He somehow only got charged for under-age
drinking. The rape charges got dropped altogether, without me being able to
sit through a trial. Everything was too fresh in my mind, my therapist didn't
think I was ready for something so fierce. I was still having trouble
remembering what had happened. Because of that, because of my own
cowardice, Warren got off with nothing but community service. Toby tried
to threaten him into pleading guilty, but Warren's dad refused to even let
Toby speak to Warren.

My dad was there for us. He actually came home and stayed to help, but
when he realized there would be no trial there wasn't much he could do. He
was fully ready to drop whatever money he needed to help me get justice, I
just couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough.

"What are you doing here, Warren?" Toby seethes, body nearly shaking
from anger.

Warren chuckles as he casually stands in front of us, as though he isn't

seconds away from getting punched in the face.
"I wanted to introduce myself to West, of course." He says, his eyes moving
to said delinquent.

I can feel all eyes on us, the hushed whispers of my classmates as they
gossip about what's going down at my table. No one knows what happened,
they just know that something

happened. Yet another reason going to trial was too difficult of an option;
everyone would know what I went through. I was only a freshman, I didn't
want my next four years to be ruined by one night.

That is potentially the biggest mistake I made, because by being afraid of

being judged I still ruined the next four years of my life, and the years
beyond. I ruined them because Warren never got the punishment he
deserved, and I never got that closure. I can't say for sure that getting
Warren convicted would make things easier on me now, but I'll never know.

I'm shocked when I look at West. He suddenly looks like what the rumors
described; terrifying. The cool look in his eye is gone, instead replaced with
a stern look of intimidation. His mouth changes from his earlier smile to a
straight line; clearly not amused by Warren.

"I'm Warren Snow, captain of the baseball team. Figured I'd extend the offer
of you coming over and eating with us instead of sitting with the help."

West doesn't say anything. He just stares silently, expression never

wavering.

Warren clears his throat, "I heard you aren't much for talk...but I get it.
Don't want to be rude on your first day and randomly leave these losers. I
respect that. Tomorrow though, my table is right over there."

West narrows his eyes, "Warren, was it?"

He grins, his thin lips nearly disappearing.

"You gay or something?"

My jaw drops, as does everyone else's at my table.

Of all the responses...I can guarantee

that

was not something any of us expected.

Warren recoils in shock, mouth slightly open. "E-excuse me?"

West shrugs with a sly grin, crossing his arms over his chest. "I've never
had a straight guy pursue me like this."

Warren scoffs, his 'nice' facade crumbling away within seconds. "I was just
trying to help get you to the top of the food chain instead of stuck in the
dumps with these losers."

"Alright, you've said hey, you got turned down, now leave." Toby snaps, his
earlier amusement boiling back into disdain for Warren.

Warren tsk's and his icy eyes meet mine. "But I haven't even said hello to
Raine. She can prove I'm not gay."

Within a second, Toby is stepping forward with his fist clenched and on the
move, but Gray and Tyler stop him. They gesture to the administrators all
around the cafeteria so that Toby will understand. If he does anything he'll
only get in loads of trouble, and knowing Warren's dad and how dirty he
likes to play, I'm willing to bet he would find a way to sue Toby for
touching him. His little threat does the trick, however, and Warren flinches
back.

Warren is all bark and no bite.

Just not when it came to me.

"Down boys. I didn't come for a fight." He says when he realizes the punch
isn't going to come, but they don't step back.

"Then I suggest you go." Tyler says lowly.

Warren chuckles before turning and leaving, rolling his eyes at us. We
watch him walk away and the boys don't sit back down until they're sure
he's gone. Then they take their seats, all still stiff from the confrontation.

"Are you okay?"

Toby signs to me instead of speaking, taking into account that West is

looking at us all questioningly.

Every time I see Warren, the same fear takes me over. I feel stuck, frozen in
place, unable to block him out. However, when he leaves, it almost instantly
goes away.

"I'm okay, don't worry."

He frowns but nods anyways, putting his arm back around my shoulders
with brotherly love. I accept his comfort, silently thanking him. Even if the
event with Warren happened three years ago, I will never forget it. Every
time I see him, flashbacks of that night hit me for merely a second, but
that's long enough to make my body go rigid and panic to rise inside of me.

"So, are we just going to act as if that didn't happen, or are y'all going to
explain why you look like you've just met Hitler?" West asks, a lazy smirk
back on his lips.

"This doesn't concern you," Toby growls.

West chuckles, brushing off Toby's obvious anger and glances at me.

"Ex boyfriend of yours?"

Looking away, I sign my response with minimal energy, and Alyse reads
my signs solemnly to voice them for me.

"Something like that."

"Well," West begins, taking note of the shift in mood, "whoever he is, he's
sort of a dick."
I could be offended. I could be repulsed that he's calling Warren my ex
boyfriend, but he doesn't know any better, and I'm not going to openly
admit why he's wrong. Instead, I shake off what just happened and catch
West's eye with a grin, signing for Alyse to translate again. And when she
does, everyone relaxes and laughs, allowing the tense moment to pass.

"And according to you, he also wants some."

West chuckles, but I notice his expression change as he glances back

towards the table Warren and the baseball team occupy.

"Did he say his last name was Snow?"

The rest of us glance at each other with our brows furrowed, wondering
why he cares.

"Yeah, Warren Snow," Gray says.

"Why?" Toby adds.

West turns back to all of us, his previous curiosity replaced with a passive
look.

"No reason."

OoOoOoO

The next day, Alyse and I head to our lockers before first period. Our school
runs on an A day, B day system. We don't have the same 4 classes every
day. Yesterday our first class was Music, today it's English.

"What if instead of Kendall, you have Tracy sing the solo?"

Alyse suggests, referring to music class yesterday.

I shrug as I exchange the books in my locker for the textbooks I need.

"That's up to Mr. C. I only do the music, you know that."

"But you wrote the lyrics." She points out. "And the music for that matter.
Mr. C would listen if you gave him that input."

I bite my lip as I close my locker, my hands occupied by my books. I move

them to one arm and quickly scribble my response on the whiteboard
outside my locker.

'I guess I can always suggest it, but who knows what he will think. He gave
Kendall the solo for a reason.'

By the time I have the sentence written, I'm sure Alyse forgot what she even
said.

She nods and I deem myself correct, she got distracted.

"There's West." She says, keeping her eyes trained down the hall as she
nudges my shoulder.

I look away from erasing the whiteboard and follow her gaze. I see West
putting books into his locker, his leather jacket making him look more
intimidating than the rumors state. After lunch yesterday I didn't see him, it
was like he disappeared- but I heard the rumors still floating around. They
changed from what he's done to get into juvie and instead to how hot he is,
and I can't help but agree.

"Damn... those jeans," Alyse mutters, eyes trailing down West's body.

I roll my eyes and snap in front of her face, startling her from her obvious
ogling. I balance my books under my arm so that I can sign to her.

"Did you forget about Toby? Stop staring."

She frowns and starts walking towards English, momentarily forgetting

about West. "I wish I had Toby, but he seems perfectly content with the fifty
girls a week he sleeps with."
My lips match hers as I follow after her. Toby can either be a happy or sour
subject for her.

"But back to the hotty at hand, how many girls do you think the boys are
going to lose because of West?"

We walk into English class and head to our seats as Alyse finishes up her
question.

With that smirk, I'd guess somewhere in the hundreds."

"So you agree he's hot?" She asks, slightly surprised.

"

I agreed with you on that yesterday, he's just too...intimidating."

I sign, pausing before I find the right word.

Like I said, he's not murderous scary, but that doesn't mean he isn't
intimidating. I bet one glare from him could send someone running for the
hills.

"Yeah that's true, but intimidating means sexy. No one would mess with
him, therefore you know if you were his girl that no one would mess with
you. And if they dared..." she bites her lip as some sort of fantasy plays out
in her head, and I shake my head at her.

Alyse has one hell of an imagination.

While she gets lost in her own mind, I begin to write down the homework
in my agenda when I feel a brooding presence next to me. As I glance up,
my skin jumps in surprise. West is standing in front of my desk. My eyes
widen while I stare on in confusion, silently asking what he's doing here.

He nods to the empty seat next to me, "Can I sit?"

I nod hesitantly and he lowers into the seat, throwing his backpack on the
floor next to him. I'm surprised he even asked, he seems like the type to just
do what he wants whether or not he gets permission.

Alyse taps my shoulders frantically and I look over at her wide eyes.

"What is he doing here?!"

She signs.

"Maybe he's a mind reader and read your little fantasy and is coming to
make it reality."

Alyse scowls at my sarcasm.

"I hate you sometimes."

"You having fun talking about me, Sunshine?" He asks, and I look back at
him. His eyes are trained on the board ahead as he writes down his
homework with a small smirk. "All good things I hope?"

I can't tell if he intrigues me or infuriates me.

I choose to ignore him, going with the latter. West chuckles and leans back
in his chair, but I feel his eyes on me. But then the undeniable scent of
perfume hangs in the air, and Alyse and I share a look knowing that Tina is
near.

Tina has been with all three of the guys. Toby first, Tyler second, and most
recently Gray. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, if she wants to have
her fun then who are we to judge? But it has gained her a reputation much
like the boys'.

"And the rumors are true," She says, stopping in front of West. I watch the
interaction from the corner of my eye, keeping my head trained on my
notebook.

"Rumors?" West echoes, his tone monotone.

That catches my interest. I would assume he'd turn on the charm like the
boys do. Maybe this is his game, a chapter of Toby's book. Act uninterested
at first, make them chase you.

"Everyone has been commenting on how attractive you are, but I knew I
would have to see it for myself. And," she pauses to look him over, biting
her lip seductively, "I'm definitely impressed. I'm Tina."

"You done now?" He asks, and I have to stop myself from shooting my
head up in shock.

That's not how Toby does it at all. He would at least show an ounce of
interest with Tina being so obvious with her flirting.

There's a reason Tina was able to get with all 3 of the guys. She's absolutely
gorgeous and she knows it. She knows how to flirt, how to dress, how to
walk, and she knows how to get men lined up at her door. She turns flirting
into an art form, and honestly watching her work is very impressive.

So the fact that West, the hottest guy I think I've seen, just turned her down,
is a little shocking.

Apparently I'm not the only shocked one because Tina looks as if she's just
been told her chest is flat.

"You heard what I said, right?

I'm interested in you."

"I heard," West says, looking to his phone with a bored expression. "I'm just
not interested in you."

Her jaw drops as a high gasp escapes her, and she quickly stands up. She
harrumphs at him before sauntering away, her heels clicking along the way.
I have to bite my tongue, or rather busy my hands, to avoid asking why he
did that.

Tina's gorgeous, he's hot, don't the two go hand in hand? Aren't they
supposed to end up with one another and have gorgeous children?
I guess this West mystery is yet to be solved, if anything it's just getting
started.

Class goes by per usual, nothing out of the ordinary happens, except for the
fact I was on edge the entire time with West sitting right next to me. I
couldn't stop replaying his interaction with Tina in my head, I even kept
thinking back to yesterday and how he handled Warren. I can't get a read on
who he is.

Now there's only a few minutes left of class, and I cannot wait to get out of
here. Only one more class after this before lunch, and I forgot to eat
breakfast this morning.

"So Sunshine," I hear West say, his voice sounding even smoother than
yesterday. "Can I call you that?" He asks as I turn to look at him.

I start to shake my head, but he waves it off.

"I'm gonna call you that."

I scowl. Then why even ask?

"If you can't talk and I don't know sign language, then how are we supposed
to communicate?"

I stare at him, clearly confused. Why would he want to communicate with

me? Why does he think I want to communicate with him? Shaking off the
questions in my head, I pull out a spare piece of paper to scribble down my
answer.

'My close friends learned sign language as you've seen, but I can just write
to talk to you I guess.'

He scans the sentence and nods in approval.

'But then again I don't think you and I will be conversing often.'

I add, writing it quickly since we have one minute before the bell. It comes
out a jumbled mess of gibberish, but it's legible.
He reads it and smirks slightly. "And what makes you so sure of that,
Sunshine?"

For starters, you call me that.'

"What? Sunshine?"

I nod, and with less than a minute left the rest of the class begins packing
up, as does West. He places his backpack on, sending me a cocky grin. The
bell rings and he slowly walks backwards, answering me before turning
around and heading for the door.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but we agreed on that."

I glare at his back as he goes, but just before exiting the room, he turns back
towards me.

"Besides, it's cute; like you." He says, his smirk as wide as I've ever seen it.
He sends me a wink before turning around and exiting my sights.

Yeah. Infuriating.

I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look over at my best friend to

see her with a smirk of her own.

"And thus begins a classic love story." She says, walking away before I can
even react.

Um.

What.

OoO

By the end of the day, I somehow manage to have no more run-ins with
West. Now I'm walking from my math class with Gray who happens to
have his English class just two doors down. Since it's our last class of the
day on B days, we always walk together. Passing our wall of honorary
teachers, we reach Toby's locker where everyone else is waiting.
"Don't even try and argue, I know my stuff," Gray says, continuing our
conversation.

"You clearly know nothing."

"He knows his stuff/nothing to what?" Tyler asks, smiling at me.

"She seems to think Golden Retrievers are the smartest dog, when everyone
knows the Poodle is." Gray answers for me.

Toby shuts his locker and turns to us, "Nah man, I think you both have it
wrong. It's German Shepherds, right?"

"No, Toby, you're way off," Alyse joins in, "it's wolves."

"We're talking about

domesticated

breeds, Alyse," Gray says.

"And Alyse knows that the smartest domesticated breed is the Golden
Retriever!"

"Mmm, no actually. Sorry, Raine I think I have to go with Gray on this

one."

"Whoa whoa whoa, I thought Border Collies were the smartest?" Tyler asks,
his face scrunched up in confusion.

"You're just saying that because you have one, dude," Toby says.

"Yeah, and King is insanely intelligent. If I put peanut butter on my toes, he

knows not to bite!"

We all pause our argument to stare at Tyler, wondering if he really just said
that.

"Dude."
"What?"

"Don't speak. Like, ever."

Tyler pouts towards me, "You agree with me, right Raine?"

I smirk at him,

"I agree with the not speaking route. It's not as bad as it seems, and you
already know ASL."

Tyler's shoulders sag as he mumbles out a few 'I hate you's' to all of us, but
all I have to do is smile in his direction and his scowl melts away. He
throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side.

"So, who wants to go eat at Rivers?" Gray suggests.

Rivers is the popular diner of our town, and it takes on the reputation of the
teenage hangout that most 80's movies have.

Tyler looks down at me, "What do you say, Raine?"

I smile at him and the others and nod.

"I'm down too," Tyler says.

"I don't feel like cooking," Toby shrugs, "Count me in."

"Haven't been there in forever." Alyse says sarcastically.

We went there over the weekend.

As we turn to leave, I catch sight of a familiar leather jacket just down the
hall. West leans against his locker, a girl I can't put a name to placing her
hand suggestively on his chest. He has the same expression he had with
Tina earlier; a bored line soon turning into an amused smirk as she
continues to talk.
He says something to her and she scoffs, raising her brows in disbelief at
him. He walks away, leaving her standing there dumbfounded. As he walks
down the hall, he catches my eye and smirks, winking my way.

I quickly look back at my friends as they walk towards the doors, Tyler
guiding me along. I glance over my shoulder at the direction West went and
my eyes take one last look at his retreating leather jacket before he exits the
building.

When we get to the diner, we take our usual booth in the back corner,
rounded out to fit a larger than four group like us. My favorite part of
Rivers is the black and white tiled floor, it fits in nicely with the red booths.
Every part of this place screams classic. I sit next to Alyse and Toby while
Gray sits next to him and Tyler sits on the other end.

The waitress comes, and I see all the guys perk up at realizing she's new.
She has long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the rest of her features key
components to get the guys attention.

"What can I get for you all?" She asks sweetly, her innocent eyes lingering
on Gray for a few seconds longer than necessary.

"I would say your number, but that's just too cheesy for a girl as gorgeous as
you." Gray instantly says, beating the others before they had the chance.

The poor girl blushes profusely and he winks at her.

"How about food wise?" She asks, biting her lip rather sheepishly.

"I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke." Tyler says, giving her a friendly smile
rather than a flirtatious one for Gray's sake.

I take this time to write down my order on a napkin.

"I'll have a chocolate shake and... how about a bacon burger?" Toby says,
scanning the menu briefly before handing it to her.

"Large or small for the shake?"

"Large," he says, offering her a curt smile.

I swear if he isn't flirting he doesn't know how to talk to girls.

"I'll have a grilled cheese with a side order of you," Gray winks, and Alyse
and I roll our eyes.

Come on Gray, you can do better.

She giggles and shakes her head, "Grilled cheese it is. And I guess I'll
surprise you with the drink."

He chuckles and hands her his menu, their hands brushing. She blushes
even harder as he winks at her. The waitresses eyes trail to me and I see the
question behind her eyes. Am I by any chance romantically involved with
Gray? Is Alyse?

I smile at her and hold up my napkin. I see the wonder in her eyes flicker to
a different question.

Why didn't I just speak my order aloud? Am I deaf?

"Cheeseburger?" She questions, hoping to read my handwriting correctly. I

nod and she smiles slightly awkwardly, probably relieved I'm not hearing
impaired. "Drink?"

I take the napkin back and scribble down sweet tea.

"And I'll take chicken tenders with a sweet tea as well." Alyse says kindly.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your food." She says, sending another
flirtatious smile at Gray.

She walks away and we all smirk at our blonde friend.

"'With a side of you?' Haven't we taught you better?" Toby asks, raising a
brow at him.

Gray shoves my brother. "Shut up. It worked, didn't it?"

"I would have had her panties dropped then and there."

I feel Alyse stiffen next to me and I smack Toby rather harshly on the
shoulder. He may not realize he's hurting her with every comment like that
he makes, but I can at least get him to shut his trap.

He looks down at me. "What?"

"Don't make me lose my appetite."

He chuckles and puts his arm around me. "You love me."

I roll my eyes at him.

"I think I'm rethinking this West guy." Tyler states randomly.

We all turn to him in confusion.

"Why?" Alyse asks.

"Because Kendall went to him today, and we can only guess what she
suggested, and he walked away

." Tyler says, and that gets the other two to straighten up.

"Walked away?" Toby asks, removing his arm from where it was placed
around my shoulders.

Oh, apparently things are getting serious.

"From Kendall?" Gray adds.

Tyler nods, putting his arm around the back of the booth.

"He also turned down Tina in English."

I sign, contributing to the conversation.

"Is he gay?" Toby asks incredulously.

Tyler shakes his head, "I doubt it. He hasn't tried hitting on me, so..."

I have to hide my laughter at that comment. That was the worst logic, but
Gray and Toby seem to reason with it. They both nod, murmuring their
agreement.

"He hasn't flirted with me either..." Gray reasons.

"Same."

I look at Alyse and we both roll our eyes.

"Our friends are idiots. Players, womanizers, and idiots."

Alyse risks a sad glance at Toby who is still discussing how West could turn
down someone like Kendall.

"But we never let them get us down."

I add when she looks back at me.

She offers me a small chuckle and nods. "Signed like a true poet." She
jokes, nudging me.

I laugh and shove her back.

"What are you two chuckling about?" Toby asks, smiling at us.

Although his smile for Alyse is different.

It's slightly softer, a smile I know he only has for her.

Ugh. How can they not see that he's, like, in love with her?

She shakes her head, "Nothing. What rumors do you think are true about
West? I mean, after meeting him I have no clue which could be fake or
which may be real."

I nod,
"He's intimidating, with killer looks, but not a killer. I never believed those
rumors anyways."

I see Toby roll his eyes. "Everything we've heard is most likely the truth,
why else would people say it?"

"Oh come on Toby, he wouldn't be back at a public school if he killed

someone," Alyse says.

"The other rumors could be true."

"I don't know what's true, but I sure as hell won't be asking." Gray says.
"That guy is bigger than you Toby, and you're a big dude."

Tyler comes into the conversation, puffing out his chest to make himself
seem bigger. "I could take him."

I raise an amused brow at him.

"But...wouldn't want to risk it." He says, deflating slightly with a sheepish

smile.

"Tyler, you're a teddy bear."

He puffs his chest out again, "A tough teddy bear who protects his kin." He
says, winking at me.

"The most you've hurt is a fly."

"No, I killed that spider for you last week!"

"And we all know he would punch Warren in a heartbeat." Alyse adds.

Tyler nods, his joking persona gone for a second and instead replaced with a
serious face. "I would kill that bastard if I could."

"We all would." Toby adds.

I frown for the change in mood, but Gray speaks up to change the topic
back to West.

"I'm going to guess that West is secretly a virgin." Gray comments, and we
all choke on our drinks.

"What the hell... makes you think

that

?" Toby coughs out.

"I'm pretty sure he accidentally dropped the soap at least

once

." Tyler adds, causing us all to go into another coughing fit.

"Tyler!" Alyse scolds, kicking him from under the table.

He flinches and pouts at her. "What did I do?"

I roll my eyes at him and direct my attention to Gray.

"Ignoring that comment, maybe West was simply afraid to get with Kendall,
especially as his first. She intimidated me the first time she suggested we
have sex." He shrugs, sipping his drink.

"West Love, afraid?"

I question with a raised brow and a scoff.

"I don't think you can use that word and his name in the same sentence."
Alyse says.

"Okay, so not a good theory." Gray mutters.

"Maybe he's waiting for the one." Alyse reasons, raising her brows in
question at us.
We all stare at her for a few seconds before she bursts out laughing and we
follow in soon.

---

8/29/2020 - I would like to quickly address when West calls Warren gay:
there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay in any way shape or form,
it was simply to show that West was not interested in being friends with
Warren. I was not intending to offend anyone, so please do not look too far
into it! No major plot changes, just took out a few moments of slut-shaming
that were clearly not okay. I apologize to anyone who has read this chapter
before I edited it and felt offended or angered by that lack of respect.
Chapter Five (Edited 8/30/2020)
Thank you all so much for reading my story. Every comment I get makes me
smile, so keep 'em coming!

The amazing cover attached was made by

avosundus

Silently Falling: Chapter Five

The next couple of days things go as usual, and Friday morning rolls
around. I wake up, use my air horn for Toby and the girl in his bed, she
leaves with a few insults directed at him, and we head to school when Alyse
arrives. I avoid telling her that Toby had a girl over last night, and she
doesn't ask. It's better to start her day off on a good note instead of breaking
her heart again.

Now Alyse and I are back in Music class with a sub, so the entire class is
just doing whatever they want. Mr. C didn't leave much of a lesson plan for
the substitute, and even if he had I doubt this sub would have had much
authority over us. Chorus kids can get rather...rambunctious. Alyse and I are
lounging on the carpeted floor, my songbook sitting in my lap.

My mother was big into music. Even though I was so young when she
passed away, I can remember sitting next to her on the piano bench in the
living room as she played, my feet swaying with the melody and hands
gripping the edge of the tattered bench. As I grew up, I came to realize that
aside from the standard children songs she would play to amuse me, she
also played melodies I could never find elsewhere. That's when my dad
showed me my mother's songbook. She wrote her own music.

My dad gave me my mother's songbook when I was in middle school and I

tried to write some stuff to be more like her, but with little to no music
lessons under my belt...what I wrote was really just random notes on a page
with a cringe-fest of "lyrics" to tag along. It took until high school and Mr.
C for me to start learning how to play the piano and how to write my own
music. I started to write songs on random sheets of paper, not wanting to
use the last of the empty pages in my moms book. But when my dad found
out, when he had come home for a few weeks from work, he instantly went
to the store and bought me my very own songbook. Writing music makes
me feel closer to my mother, an even deeper feeling than having her
necklace on every day.

"What type of song are you working on now?" Alyse asks, leaning over to
read what I've written down.

"A ballad. Unconventional, though."

She cocks her head, "I missed the last part..."

I sigh, silently falling a little. Sign language is great, but I forget at times
that Alyse isn't an expert or anything. There are times I go too fast and she
can't read my hands. I know it's not her fault, but it sometimes gets a little
stressful. The only one who seems to able to keep up with me at all times is
Toby.

I slowly spell out the word 'unconventional' for her, and I watch as she
slowly sounds it out while comprehending the letters.

"U N...okay that's a C. Unconv...and E and an N, okay followed by a T...

Oh! Unconventional, got it. Unconventional ballad, it sounds interesting."

"I hope, I've only just started it."

"May I?"

I pass over my book to her for her to examine it, and I watch as the gears
turn in her head as she reads and plays it through in her head. Then, her pale
green eyes light up with her smile.

"Raine...I can already tell this is going to be phenomenal. I wish you would,
like, perform it or something."

I raise a brow,
"That would be a problem considering my lack of a voice."

"I meant you do the instrumental portion and then you get someone else to
actually sing it."

She knows why I like having songs all to myself. The songs I make and
play for our chorus students become the school's songs; they're no longer
my own. Besides I don't even make them for myself, I make them strictly
for the school. I like knowing that the songs I make and play on my own
account will always belong to me. If they belong to me, somehow I believe
they belong to my mom as well. When I finish a song, I don't know...I feel
like it's like a prayer to her. Something between the two of us.

But... it would be nice to have someone able to sing them. I have Alyse, but
as much as she likes my songs, she pushes performing them for others too
much. I don't write music to be published or get put in the spotlight. I do it
to feel close to my mother.

Once Music ends, I head to AP US History and greet the boys. Class goes
down without much interesting happen, aside from Toby filling Gray and
Tyler in on his 'night of fun' which I tune out of. While they discuss details I
most definitely do not

want to hear, my mind trails around until it ends up on West.

He has sparked quite the uproar at school. Every day I hear whispers about
him circulating throughout the halls. I want to say that his presence hasn't
gotten to me, and that to me he's just another newcomer, but I can't lie to
myself. West is potentially one of the most interesting people we've had at
this school, and that was true before I met him. But now that I've talked to
him, he's even more prominent in my thoughts than I'd like to admit.

"Raine, you coming? The bell just rang, it's time for lunch."

I lightly shake my head and blink a few times, blushing as I realize I was
staring blankly at the table while deep in thought. Focusing on Toby's
slightly worried face, I quickly smile at him and nod.
"Sorry, I zoned out."

Tyler reaches his hand out to me with a smile, gently pulling me up and
handing me my backpack. We all walk down the hall and to lunch, greeting
Alyse at her locker on the way. The line for food goes quick and soon we
are all sitting down at our table. Within seconds, Tyler's eyes are stuck to
my food with a longing desire; my fries in particular.

"Tyler, are you falling in love with my fries?"

He reads my hands, for a moment or two eyes widening until I finish

signing the whole sentence. He laughs, reaching his hand out to steal one
but I'm quick to slap it away with a silent guffaw.

"Come on Raine, just one fry?" He begs, giving me his best puppy dog
eyes.

I send him an incredulous look. He keeps up his facade for a few more
seconds before dropping his expression into a scowl. I smile and begin to
eat my food; all it takes is a look.

"Fine. But you aren't getting my extra cookie then." He mumbles, biting his
sandwich.

I stop mid bite and look over at him, signing with one hand.

"Extra cookie?"

"Momma Myers packed an extra."

Freaking yes.

Mrs. Myers is the absolute best.

I glance back at my fries and bite my lip in contemplation. Then I finally

nod and offer him some. He grins and takes a few, shoveling them into his
mouth as he searches his lunchbox for my cookie.
I wait patiently, and when he looks over at me sheepishly I narrow my eyes.
He swallows the fries that were in his mouth and smiles guiltily.

"I guess it fell out?"

My eyes widen and I smack him on the shoulder.

"You tricked me!"

"No! No I didn't. I thought I had a cookie in there, but.... well you know
math is my worst subject!"

"What does math have to do with this?!"

"Because I couldn't count how many I actually had?" He offers shyly. "It's
true, I'm nearly failing calculus."

"And chemistry, and English, and history, and Spanish, and-" Gray begins,
but Tyler sends him a look and he pauses. "Well, you get my point."

I stifle a laugh and look back at Tyler which turns my amusement back to
anger.

"You're buying me more fries

." I state, giving him a hard glare and a decisive point to further my
statement.

"Yes ma'am," he says in defeat.

I lift my head in victory, only to have that deflate when I glance down at my
remaining food. Chicken nuggets and only half a basket of fries and pout.
The portions are already pretty small, missing half of my fries will make me
go hungry in an hour.

"So, who pissed in your cereal this morning?" West asks as he takes his seat
across from Tyler.
His question is addressed to me, and I can practically feel the anger
radiating off of Toby as he glares at West. He's still not comfortable with
him, and I doubt he will be any time soon. If ever.

I gesture to Tyler to answer West's rhetorical question.

"He stole her fries." Alyse clarifies.

I hear West 'tsk' at Tyler, shaking his head at him. "Don't you know better
than to steal from a mute?"

I recoil from the bluntness of his statement and try to figure out if he
actually just said that. When I notice Toby's knuckles turn white from their
grip on the table, I realize West did in fact just say that.

He looks over at me and smirks. "Good thing I know how to do it a little

more discreetly." He says, lifting a fry to his lips.

Confused, I watch West for a few seconds more and then glance down at
my tray only to see the last of my fries gone. With my jaw agape, I watch as
West takes a cocky bite from my final fry.

"I can see why you would be angry with people stealing those." He
comments, darting his tongue out to lick his lips. "They're pretty damn
good."

I force myself to look away from his lips that he knowingly drew my
attention to, meeting his playful eyes with frustration in my own.

"You just...stole her fries." Alyse deadpans on her own accord.

"You know, you're lucky you don't understand sign language," Gray says
casually.

West glances at him and furrows his brow. "Why-"

I don't necessarily cut him off since my hands don't make any noise, but
before he finishes his statement I start signing as aggressively as possible.
"You insolent little jerk! Those were my fries! Not yours, and I was so
looking forward to eating them too! I swear to the God above, you little fuc-
"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hot, I'm infuriating, I get you hot and bothered. I
don't need sign language to know that one," West says, cutting me off.

My jaw drops further.

"Cat got your tongue, Sunshine?" He asks, chewing his food with the most
insufferable expression I've ever seen.

The rest of the table is equally as silent as me, unsure how to respond and
clearly wary of how I may react. No one has challenged me like this. The
boys get under my skin sometimes, but they've never deliberately tried to
make me snap.

I narrow my eyes at West. My body is tense as I contemplate how to handle

this. If I sign anything he won't understand it and writing stuff on my
whiteboard right now would just take away from the moment.

So, I give him the one universal finger gesture for a big fat "f*** you."

West glances at my hand and his cocky expression fades to a smile as he

chuckles, placing his hands up in surrender.

"Now there's a sign I know," he says. "And in your case I think it means
more than just 'f you.' I assume there's a whole slew of curse words you
want to get across?"

Giving a fake smile, I nod at him.

He chuckles again and begins to stand up. "How about I just go buy you
more fries?"

I watch him warily, wondering if this is just another set-up for one of his
cocky remarks. When his expression doesn't waver from friendly, I decide
to go with it. I nod, signaling it's a deal, and he's on his way back the lunch
line.
"I've got to admit, I like him," Gray says.

We all look at him incredulously.

"Oh come on guys, you have to admit that was amusing. Raine, I love you
and I'm sorry about your fries, but even you

can see the humor in that."

The others start agreeing, serious expressions fading to laughter.

"Raine, your face when you realized your fries were gone

was

kind of priceless," Alyse admits.

Tyler laughs with her, "I really thought you were about to lunge across the
table and attack him."

"That would have been a sight to see," Toby says, cracking his own smile.
"I know I enjoyed the obscene finger gesture."

I pout at all of them, crossing my arms like a child.

"Aw, don't be like that," Tyler says, hugging me to his side. "He was just
trying to get a rise out of you."

"Exactly."

But, even though I'm acting this way, my annoyance is slowly fading away
and amusement is taking its place. They're right.

"So Toby, you up for the party tonight?" Gray asks, changing the course of
the conversation.

"Sure, why not. Who's hosting?"

"Some dude from Rockville High. The one who tried hitting on Alyse a few
weeks ago at that pool party."

I sense the way my brother stiffens, jealous eyes jumping to Alyse.

Seriously, am I the only one who sees the obvious signs? He loves her. I
swear.

"He would have had her too," Gray continues, unaware of my brother's shift
in mood, "If we hadn't stepped in, I think they may have swapped spit right
there in the middle of the pool."

Alyse rolls her eyes, "As if. First of all he was completely wasted and kept
calling me Audrey. I actually believe he thought I was Audrey Hepburn."

"Audrey Hepburn is dead..."

She looks over at me. "Exactly."

"Are you insinuating this guy is into necrophilia?" Tyler asks, scrunching
up his face.

"I'm insinuating he was extremely drunk and has an unhealthy obsession

with someone who has been dead for years."

"Your imagination really does fascinate me," Toby chimes in.

She blushes slightly, glancing down at the table to try and avoid him
noticing.

Come on Alyse, be that sarcastic girl I know who doesn't show the way my
idiot older brother effects her.

"I think that's the best compliment I've ever received from you." She says
sarcastically, trying to hide an amused grin, in turn earning a snort from
him.

I'll talk about this moment at their wedding.

Toby then glances down at me, "So, you okay if I go to this party?"

I nod at him,

"Go! Have fun with the necrophiliac."

"Or, you know, we could not talk about that."

Suddenly, fries are dropped in front of me from the Heavens above.

"There you go, Sunshine. A brand new batch of fries just for you."

Ah, so not from the Heavens, but from the exact opposite.

West sits back down at his seat, sending me a smile. He waves his white
napkin as a little flag of surrender.

"Forgive me for stealing the fries?"

I carefully take a fry from the basket, giving it a taste test before agreeing to
a truce with the criminal sitting across from me.

He wasn't kidding. This really is a brand new batch, it must have just come
out of the fryer from the satisfying crunch. So I nod at West, chowing down
on the remainder of the fries.

"West, you down for a party?" Tyler asks.

"Where?"

"Kid in Rockville High, he throws a lot of parties."

West furrows his brow, "I overheard some girls talking about that earlier,
actually. They said something about him calling each of them Audrey
Hepburn at the last party... this guy a freak?"

"He's a potential necrophiliac," Alyse answers.

West glances over at her, his face lit up in all types of confusion.
"And...you guys still want to go to his party?"

"It could be kinky." Tyler shrugs.

We all snap our eyes to him and stare at him weirdly.

"Tyler..." Alyse begins carefully.

"We were joking about that part...

" I end.

His face loses color for a split second before he nods. "Yeah, I know! I was
joking too!" He defends rather quickly, avoiding our eyes.

West finally shrugs. "Well, sounds interesting enough. Count me in."

"I'll stay at home with Raine. I'd rather not have Justin flirt with me again."
Alyse comments, and I smile gratefully at her.

"Perfect, now I don't have to worry about Raine burning the house down."
Toby says, and I slap his shoulder.

"One time! One time I left the oven on! You, on the other hand, have burned
just about every meal you've attempted to make.

" I challenge.

"Just eat your food."

I feel eyes on me and lift my gaze to see West studying me. He doesn't look
away when my eyes meet his, instead his gaze gets deeper.

I know his question before he even asks it.

"Not a partier, Sunshine?" He asks, his stare not letting me look away.

"Not much for the whole drunken idiots scene, no not really."
I sign, thanking god Alyse translated for me since I forgot yet again that he
can't understand me.

He nods in thought. And when he finally looks away from me, I let out a
breath I didn't realize I was holding.

OoO

"Hell yes! Girls night in!" Alyse yells chucking her overnight bag at me.

I catch it and stumble back a bit, finding my footing with a little help from
the wall.

"Alright, I've got the movies. You got the drinks and junk food?" She asks,
waltzing her way into the living room.

I throw her bag on the floor and nod. "

When do I not?"

"Lets get this party started, then!"

I chuckle and walk towards the kitchen. Alyse follows me and starts taking
the drinks from the fridge. We may be losers for staying in on a Friday night
when over half of our school is out at a party, but that doesn't mean we don't
know how to have fun.

"You have Sunny D, thank God!"

"Or-"

I reach far back into the fridge and snatch a couple of alcoholic seltzers that
are left over from the last party Toby went to. I wave them in front of Alyse
with a grin, and she practically throws the Sunny D to the side.

Just because we don't go to parties doesn't mean we aren't stereotypical

teenagers who will sneak in a drink or two. We know how to have fun, just
in our own way.
"Now we're talking."

I laugh and toss her a can, grabbing the two chip bowls before heading back
towards the living room. She grabs the other two bowls filled with other
mindless junk food and we set them on the table.

"I'll go get the blankets

."

"I'll put in the first movie."

As the movies play, Alyse and I talk through most of them. We watch some
TikTok's, even make one for the whole 15 followers we have, and
eventually we drift off during the second movie.

Some time later, Alyse and I wake up to the slamming of the front door. We
both jump up from surprise, our heads ramming into one another causing us
each to wince and rub our heads. She blinks a few times to rid the sleep
from her eyes as we both sit up. The TV is replaying the movie we fell
asleep to and is the only light source in the room.

"What was that?" Alyse asks groggily, referring to the loud noise that woke
us up.

Drunken giggling answers her, and a sloshed shush follows it.

I instantly grimace when I realize what's going on. Toby has brought
someone over, a random girl that he's going to sleep with tonight while the
girl who is hopelessly devoted to him stays the night in another room.

"Oh," Alyse says quietly when she too realizes. Her entire demeanor
changes, a despondency taking her over.

"Shh, you're gonna wake-erp my si-sister." Toby laughs as they stumble up

the stairs together.

"Who do you think it is?" Alyse questions softly, and the pain in her voice
makes my heart break.
I know it's hard for Alyse to hear him come home with another girl. It's one
thing just to know about it, but to experience it is even worse. She loves
him, and he's hurting her without even knowing.

"Probably some girl that means nothing to him other than a night of fun."

As bad as that makes my brother look, I know it's probably true. I don't
know if hearing that makes Alyse feel any better.

She drops her eyes from my hands once I finish signing and she nods.
"Yeah, probably." She whispers.

I sadly wave over to her, trying to get her attention. Her eyes catch the
movement of my hands and they look up at me. My heart breaks when I see
the tears glimmering in them. I gesture for her to come closer and wrap my
arms around her as she rants.

"I'm stupid. I'm stupid for being the stereotypical girl and crushing on my
best friends brother. I don't want to be like the other girls, I don't want to
want him like I do. I don't want to be naive and think that maybe, just
maybe

, I could be the one to change his ways. Because I know it won't happen.
Our lives aren't fairy tales."

I don't know what I could say to make her feel any better. Sometimes you
just have to let it all out and have someone there to listen.

"I don't want to cry over him." She whispers shakily.

I nod, a silent understanding. I continue to rub her back comfortingly, and

when the sounds from upstairs start, I turn up the TV to drown it out.

When I feel my shirt go damp, I know she heard what's going on up there
before I raised the volume.

OoO
This morning Alyse left before Toby woke up. I know she didn't get much
sleep, so I didn't argue when she quickly rushed out. Toby woke up an hour
or two later, and the girl in his bed left without saying much. I guess she
knew what the deal was before she came over.

"Hey sis, Tyler and Gray are coming over in a few," Toby says as he comes
downstairs after his shower.

He has the towel draped around his neck as he tugs his shirt on, and I roll
my eyes. He is so obsessed with his body I can't stand it. The shower turned
off nearly a half hour ago, which means he was most likely admiring
himself in the mirror for the past thirty minutes.

I nod to him but don't offer to sign anything in return. I'm still mad at him
for having a girl over when it was obvious Alyse and I were having a girls
night. It's like an unwritten rule to keep random girls away during Alyse and
I's time.

"You still mad at me?"

I don't respond.

"Come on, sis. I said I was sorry, like, ten times this morning."

I turn up the volume on the TV.

"We tried to be quiet."

At that comment, I finally turn to him with fire in my eyes.

"You shouldn't have had anyone over in the first place. And you weren't
quiet. At all."

He sighs deeply and shakes his hair with his towel, "I'm sorry, Raine. I don't
know what else to say."

I drop it. Arguing isn't going to get me anywhere. Besides, the front door
opens moments later which would have interrupted anything I could have
signed back.
"Hello- oh. You two both seem pretty pissed," Tyler says as he walks into
the living room. "What happened?"

Toby rolls his eyes, "Nothing, let's just go upstairs."

Gray takes the hint not to ask anymore and follows after Toby, but Tyler
pouts at me.

"Are you okay?"

He signs.

I shrug at him, not wanting to lie.

He frowns deeply, glancing up the steps to where they went as he debates

what to do.

"Tyler! Come on, dude!" Toby yells from his room.

"Come upstairs with me?"

Tyler asks me, giving slight puppy dog eyes.

His question puts a small smile on my face and I stand from my spot,
following him up the steps and into Toby's room. His room is significantly
larger than mine. He has his bed, and across is a huge 50" flat screen TV on
top of an entertainment system that houses his PS4 and all of his games. He
also has a dresser and desk, but there's even room for a small couch in front
of his bed to make gaming easier.

"Where's Alyse?" Gray asks as Tyler and I step inside. "Didn't she stay over
here last night?"

Toby drops his eyes to the floor upon the mention of her.

"She left this morning. She didn't get much sleep last night."

Gray nods as he reads my hands, letting out a small hum of interest before
focusing his attention back on the TV.
To my surprise, Toby speaks up. "That's most likely my fault. Can you tell
her I'm sorry?" He asks, and when I catch his gaze I see how genuine he is,
and my anger slowly subsides.

"I'll let her know."

He offers me a small smile and I return it with one of my own, and I sense
the relief he feels knowing he's somewhat in the clear. Then he turns back to
the TV and switches on some game.

"Alright assholes, who's going against me first?" Toby asks, holding up his
extra controller for Tyler or Gray to snag.

I narrow my eyes and point at him. "

Language

."

"Yeah Toby, watch what you fucking say." Gray scolds, laughing as I scowl
at him.

I sit on my brothers bed, complete with a dark blue and gray comforter, and
Tyler sits next to me since Gray and my brother both occupy the futon.

"I'll go first," Gray decides, grabbing the controller from my brother.

"Prepare to get your ass beat, Grayson." Toby smirks, starting up the game.

"It's Gray," he corrects, throwing a pillow that laid on the floor at my

brother.

It hits me instead and I let out a small squeak of surprise.

"Oops, sorry Raine." He laughs, looking at me from over the bed.

"Good aim," Toby jokes and I scowl at him.

"So, how was West at the party?"

I ask Tyler as Gray and Toby start their game.

"What do you mean?"

Toby and Gray don't listen to our conversation since they're both engrossed
in their game.

"Was he the drinker everyone says he is?"

Tyler chuckles, "No, actually. I wasn't around him much, but I don't
remember ever seeing him with anything in his hand."

West Love isn't the drinker he's been made out to be? That is shocking.

"He even drove Gray and I home, and your brother over here with that girl,"
Tyler adds.

I scrunch up my face, realizing I'm sitting on the sheets Toby and blonde
bimbo were getting it on in...

"I'm really hoping he washed these sheets...

" I sign, looking around me in distaste.

Tyler also glances down and shifts uncomfortably, "You and me both."

"So, West didn't take a girl home with him?"

He glances at me with a hint of confusion, "Why?"

I shrug,

"He just seemed like the type to me."

"Well, he talked to a few, but left with no one but us."

I furrow my brow. I really thought that maybe a party would be the place
for West to finally let the inevitable player in him come out. But now I'm
really starting to think that I've got him wrong. The problem is, I don't know
how to get it right. He is way too hard to get a read on.

"Why the hell would you choose the girl avatar?" Toby asks incredulously,
snapping me from my ridiculous thoughts.

I lift my eyes to the screen and see Gray's avatar as a busty girl with short
black hair. She's wearing limited clothing, nothing but a crop top and a short
skirt.

"She's hot!" Gray defends.

"Hey, she looks like the girl you were talking to last night, Gray." Tyler
laughs.

"You banged a girl with a pixie cut?" Toby asks, raising a brow at him.

"I didn't bang her, I just made out with her. And what's so wrong with pixie
cuts? She was cute. But, back to the game so I can kick your a-"

I throw a pillow at his head.

"Butt."

---

8/30/2020 - No major plot changes. Tyler's last name changed to Myers and
I took out one pointless scene of Alyse and Raine cooking breakfast the
morning after the sleepover. Other than that, it's mostly the same!
Chapter Six (Edited 8/30/2020)
Warren is the attached image!

The reason it's Dylan Sprayberry, who is apparently a teddy bear in a TV

show, is to show that rapists can really be anyone. They don't have to be the
most intimidating person or someone who is unattractive. I wanted to show
that. They can be who you least expect. (Not saying Dylan Sprayberry is a
rapist by any means).

Thank you to everyone who is reading the story so far, I can't believe we've
already reached 200+ reads!! Every comment I get makes me smile, and
every vote makes me that much happier :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Six

Our weekend goes by normally. Alyse FaceTimed me Saturday night and

apologized for leaving so quickly and worrying me, and I ended up going
over there for a bit to 'talk' her through what she was feeling. It was good
for her to let out her frustrations and fears about Toby with me, because by
this morning everything feels like it's back to normal. Alyse came over in
the morning while I was cooking breakfast, and Toby drove the three of us
to school.

Now it's the third period of the day. For me and Alyse, it's Chemistry. Tyler
has the same class his first block of the day, so he warned us this morning
that we are going to have a pop quiz and I don't think Alyse has stopped
stressing about it since.

"I'm absolutely, positively screwed for this chemistry quiz." Alyse grumbles
as we stop by her locker.

"You're going to be fine," Gray says, leaning against the sea of blue and
yellow lockers. Our school couldn't have chosen more cliche colors or a
more cliche mascot; the Trojans of East Bridge High School.
There's not even a West Bridge High School; or a North, or a South.

"I'm such a failure, I didn't study." She groans, hitting her head against her
locker.

"That would be because we didn't know we were gonna have it. Hence the
term 'pop quiz.'"

"You shut your trap."

"

I never opened it."

"Gray, back me up here!" Alyse says, turning her head to where he just was.
Now he's off flirting with a...provocatively dressed freshman, pinning her
against the lockers with his 'charm.'

Poor girl looks like she's ready to take him here and now, and I'm sure his
fashion sense is helping that along. Out of the three boys, Gray dresses the
best. Today he's wearing a light grey cardigan, fully buttoned, with a white
button-down underneath and khakis. He is also sporting his glasses; he has
contacts, but every now and then he decides not to wear them.

The girl blushes as he takes a small step closer to her, his blue eyes
flickering over her figure. I bet she hasn't heard of his reputation yet, or
maybe she doesn't care.

I sigh and start to follow Alyse as we walk to Chemistry. One of my most

recent songs flows through my head as we walk down the tiled hallway. I
was playing it last night on the piano while Toby was out to pick up dinner.
I was supposed to be doing homework, but my mother's old piano was
calling out to me.

I couldn't just ignore it.

I should have been working on the song Mr. C assigned me to write. He

wants me to have it completely finished by the end of the month, which
only gives me two weeks. The music is only halfway done and the lyrics
have yet to be written. Because this isn't a personal song, it's harder for me
to focus on. Instead, I was working on the song Alyse saw me writing last
week in class, and I'm now regretting it.

I only have one page of Mr. C's song complete, and I know I'm going to
have to grind to finish in time and not have it be a piece of junk. It's
difficult at times to write songs for my Music class, because without a voice
I have no way of hearing how it will sound. Neither Toby, nor Tyler, nor
Gray can sing for the life of them, and for obvious reasons neither can I.
Alyse can't either because Mr. C doesn't want any of his students to have a
look at the song before it's turned into him.

"Earth to Raine!" Alyse drowns out, snapping in front of my face so that I

focus on her. "I asked what you think West did at the party."

"Tyler said he didn't drink, and he also said he didn't bring any girls home."

"Yeah but Tyler was drunk and may not remember." She argues.

"

Why are you so adamant to believe West got wasted?"

I question.

She shrugs, "I just find it hard to believe that the guy who is known for
being arrested when he was 17 didn't have a lot to drink."

I nod, silently agreeing with her.

"Or we can use this information to rule out going to jail for one too many
DUI's."

Alyse reads my hands and laughs, "That too."

"I bet he just got in too many fights and finally got charged."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because he's rather aggravating."

I scowl as we turn the corner to our class.

"But, he's a hunk if I've ever seen one."

"I've already agreed he's hot. But he's freaking annoying with his little
smirk and inquisitive stare."

I say, scrunching up my face at the thought of it.

"Not to mention he's intimidating."

"Well, someone tweeted he got into a fight. Did Tyler mention anything
about that?" She asks.

"Not that I know of. But I wouldn't doubt it."

When we turn the corner for Chemistry, my eyes land on none other than
West walking down the hall. He almost instantly catches my eye, as if he
knew exactly where I was. It takes me longer than it should to look away.
He didn't talk much today during lunch, and he arrived late to the table. His
hair looks a little messier today, his face not quite as clean shaven, but not
for lack of hygiene. It just appears to be a slightly new look. He's wearing a
plaid shirt rolled up at the sleeves, showing off the tattoo on his forearm.

However what sparks my interest the most is the lack of any bruises on his
face. Thus disproving the alleged rumor of a fight between him and
someone at the necrophiliacs party.

All of the sudden I feel an arm drop onto my shoulders and I jump. My
thoughts revolving around West disperse as Tyler grins at Alyse and I.

"Well hello ladies," he drawls.

I give a small wave, and without realizing what I'm doing my eyes trail
back over my shoulder to the direction of West. I pick him out among the
crowded hall almost instantly. Instead of a lazy smirk on his lips now, I see
them again in a line as he narrows his eyes at something.
I'm relieved when I notice they're trained on something other than myself,
but then I scrunch my brows together as I realize he's staring intently at
something around me.

Tyler's arm.

OoO

The next day, Alyse and I head towards English together after walking
inside from Toby's truck.

"So, did you fail the Chemistry quiz yesterday?"

She's massaging her temples and she puts up a hand. "Don't ask."

I chuckle and pat her back

. "I got mine back and I got a 100."

She lifts her head and glares incredulously at me. "How the hell is that
supposed to make me feel better?"

"I never said it was."

I sign smugly.

She narrows her eyes at me before burying her face back in her arms with a
groan.

My attention is pulled away from her and to the chair next to me when West
shows up, offering me a smile.

"Afternoon, Sunshine." He says.

I turn to look at my desk and start fiddling with my pencil, his stare holding
onto me for a few more seconds before I no longer feel his gaze. I only lift
my eyes when I hear Lilly approach our desks. Her high heels click along
the tiled floor and make her presence known way before she even reaches
our desk.
"Hey West," she says. She flicks her hair over her shoulder, and when she
sees me she smiles. "Hey Raine." I smile and wave back.

West doesn't offer her a response.

Lilly is a slut, but she isn't a bitch. She's been with both my brother and
Tyler, but she's friendly to me. The fact the two of them kind of threw her
away like a used tampon didn't change her thoughts towards me. We've
always been semi friends.

I cringe at my own thoughts for using the word 'slut.' It has such a negative
connotation, and I didn't mean it as such. I just meant that, like Tina, she
could be considered as someone who isn't afraid to sleep around.

"I was disappointed when I didn't see you at the party." She starts, frowning
at him. "I thought you said you were going to go?"

He shrugs, "I was there. You must've missed me."

"Really? Because I was looking around for you..." She says, taking a step
closer to him.

"I wasn't there long."

Lilly opens her mouth to say more, but she gets cut off by the bell. She
huffs at its inconvenience and struts away, promising West to talk to him
later. She offers me another wave before she goes to her own seat.

West glances at me, "Friend of yours?"

I click off the cap to my dry-erase marker and write my response on my

board.

'She's been with the boys', so I see her around a lot. She's a nice person.'

"I never said she wasn't."

I don't write anything back since Mr. Patterson stands in front of the class to
get the day started.
"Alright students, I want to give you the majority of class to work on your
assignment. So I'm going to get right to it; it's an essay-" groans of
boredom- "Yes, yes, I know essay's aren't favored, but what did you expect
coming into an AP English class?"

"I'm

excited to write, essays are easy A's. What's the topic, Mr. Patterson?" The
teacher's pet pipes up from the front.

As he begins to answer, I feel warm breath on my ear and freeze. It fans

over my skin and flows down to the beginning of my jaw, making
goosebumps threaten to rise.

"Let me guess, she's the class suck up?" West whispers.

I refuse to let myself look over at him and nod, trying to pay attention to
Mr. Patterson.

"-it is based on the topic question 'What interests you?' Now, I don't want a
million essays about the newest video game that has come out or your
favorite TV show. I want you all to think deep." He says, making it a point
to look at the slackers of our class. "I want you to choose something you
know little about, use this as an opportunity to learn about something new!"

"But what if, like, we write about Fallout 4 but it's, like, an amazing essay?"
One of them, Harry, asks.

"Then I will give you the grade the writing deserves." Mr. Patterson
answers, walking back behind his desk. "You may use the rest of class to
come up with your topic and begin researching."

Instantly I'm getting out a piece of paper to write down any ideas that float
into my mind. One problem; none do.

What interests me? There's always music, but I know most all there is to
know about music. Or at least the portion of it that interests me. I don't care
much for the history of it, just the playing part.
"What are you writing down?"

I sign to Alyse, watching as she scribbles down a few things.

"Male models."

I'm not even that shocked.

I laugh,

"You would."

"Well he said do what interests you, male models spark my interest more
than anything."

"I think he meant more like the works of Jane Austen, or maybe the history
behind aerodynamics."

"Did I read your hands right? Aerodynamics? Raine, this is a class of high
school juniors, give or take a few seniors, no one is going to write about
that!"

"You really think Mr. Patterson wants to read about models?"

"Hey, he said he was going to grade based on the quality of the writing. Not
the content." She defends, getting out her phone. "Now if you would excuse
me, I need to conduct my research."

I huff and go back to my own paper. I put my pencil down onto it and start
to rack my brain for something. Twenty minutes later I look down at my
sheet to see what all I've written.

A smiley face, the Superman symbol, and a random scribble.

I groan and put my pencil down. I let out a deep sigh and look at Alyse.
She's on her phone, the brightness turned all the way down as she flicks
through picture after picture of men with desirable six packs.
A part of me expected her to back off this topic to find a real one, but I'm
pleased that she didn't. What she chose is sort of perfect for her; a boy crazy
teenage girl with ridiculous fantasies. Now, if only I could describe myself
well enough to come up with a topic to write about.

I stare at my paper for another minute or two before I get so desperate I

glance at West's paper. I don't know what I expected to see, but I'm not
surprised when I see it's completely blank. My eyes trail from the paper and
to him, and I see him laying back in his seat. His hands are folded on his
chest and his eyes are closed.

Is he asleep?

"You know Sunshine," he begins, startling me, "just because you're mute
doesn't make you invisible. I can feel you staring at me."

I feel my body freeze upon being caught, quickly glancing away. But he
cracks one eye open to see my reaction, and his next response sends me into
a whole other fit of embarrassment.

"No need to blush."

I quickly feel my cheeks to see if they're hot, which they aren't. I'm not
blushing, and I completely fell for his little trick.

"Cute

and

gullible." He hums as he shuts his eyes again, raising his brows briefly.

I scowl and grab my paper, finally writing something on it more than a few
random drawings. When I finish I lift it for him to read, shaking the paper
to get his attention. He sits up upon hearing me jostle it in front of his face
and I straighten it out for him to read.

'Could you not use the term 'mute'?'

"It bothers you?"

I nod.

"Why didn't you say so?"

I stare blankly at him, clearly not amused.

He grimaces, "Okay, poorly worded. I wasn't making a joke that time. What
should I refer to you as instead?"

'There's always my name...'

"Sunshine, right."

I can see the way his features become amused, just waiting for some sort of
reaction from me. His brown eyes dance with mischief.

"What do I call your, eh, situation, then? If not mute, what are you?"

I debate what to write for a few moments, tapping my lips with the pencil.

'Vocally challenged.'

West takes one glance at my paper and chuckles. "Okay, vocally challenged
it is. Not sure if that's much better, but hey who am I to judge?"

Before I can write anything else down, he shuts his eyes again and goes
back to his little nap. Which leaves me sitting here wondering; did I just
make things worse for myself? A tap on my shoulder pulls me from my
thoughts, and I turn to see Alyse with a big grin, wiggling her eyebrows as
she glances between me and West.

"That was a cute interaction."

She signs.

I scowl at her, pouting my lips and turning back around as I beg the time to
go by quicker so I can get out of this class. My wish is granted, sort of, and
eventually class ends and I book it to my locker to evade having to converse
with West or Alyse right now. I swap my current books for what I'll need
later, slamming my locker shut so that it successfully closes.

I tuck my hair behind my ear and start to walk down the hall, but before I
can take one step my heart leaps out of my chest from shock. West is
standing right next to my locker.

I put my hand over my heart and control my erratic breathing. Those

commercials are true, heart attacks

don't

come with warnings.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He says.

I turn back to my locker and quickly write my question on the whiteboard.

'What are you doing here?'

He cocks his head slightly, his smirk widening. "I'm here to make you fall
in love with me." He says.

What.

My heart starts beating rapidly in my chest and my breath catches in my

throat. My face pales and my eyes widen as I stare back at him. He can't be
serious...

Instantly he starts laughing and I let out a breath of relief.

"Relax Sunshine, I'm only kidding."

I don't even know what to write in response. I think my heart rate is still
dangerously fast.

"Damn, I didn't know falling in love with me was such a scary thing for
you." He jokes, leaning against the lockers next to me.
I stare at him for a second before pointing back to the question on my
whiteboard.

"The English essay."

What about it?'

"We're meant to write about something that intrigues us." He adds on,
shifting his position a little.

I nod and make a motion with my hands for him to continue.

"Not one to beat around the bush, Sunshine?" He asks, cocking his head at
me.

I give him a bored stare back.

He nods with a small chuckle. "In that case, I'll get down to it. I want to
write about sign language." He states. "I don't just want to write about it
though, I want to learn it."

My eyebrows draw together in confusion and I recoil slightly in shock.

The delinquent is interested in sign language...?

'Do you want me to refer you to a tutor or something?'

He reads it and chuckles. "No. I want

you

to teach me." He says, taking a step closer to me.

I gulp.

My first instinct is to say no, but the more I look at him the more I stall my
hands. I don't have any red flags other than what I've heard about him, and
the fact he annoys me. But he wants to learn sign language; who has ever
come to me to ask me to teach it to them?
I want to know why he is even talking to me. Many girls have come to him
already, and he's only been here one week. They've showed mounds of
interest, I've shown none.

"Raine!"

Toby's voice drifts through the air, and I glance behind me to see him
walking towards West and I. When his eyes land on West he stares at him in
confused anger and stops when he's next to me.

"Come on, we don't want to be late to class."

He finally tears his inquisitive eyes from West, directing them to me with a
small sense of urgency.

I nod up at him and put my dry erase marker back on the magnetic board.
My brother turns and starts to walk away, leaving me standing in front of
West. I avoid his gaze and look at the floor.

"Sis!" Toby calls, stopping to look back at me before I can give West an
answer.

With one last look at West, who has stood here patiently waiting for an
answer, I turn away and jog to catch up with my brother. I risk another look
back at West, who I literally just left standing there. He's still staring at me,
eyes dark and mysterious, but now he's holding

my

whiteboard for me to read.

'I'll wait on that answer.'

I swallow down the lump in my throat and turn back to watch where I'm
walking, ignoring my desire to turn and walk back to West to tell him yes or
no.

"So, what was that all about? What'd West want?" Toby asks.
"He just wanted to know about our English homework,"

I sign.

Toby already doesn't like West, it's obvious every time he sees him. He's not
happy to have him sitting with us, and clearly wasn't happy to see me
interacting with him. It may be best to leave out West's little question for
now.

---

8/30/2020 - No major changes, just edits on the lines to make the dialogue
flow more smoothly :)
Chapter Seven (Edited 8/31/2020)
Who do you all portray as West? Raine?

Cover made by

Silently Falling: Chapter Seven

The next day I walk into Music just as the bell rings, doing a quick once
over in the mirror on Mr. C's door. I readjust my army-green bomber jacket,
checking to see if I spilled any syrup on the white shirt underneath from
breakfast. Instead, I notice my zipper on my jeans is halfway undone and
my face heats up.

"Alyse!"

I sign, grabbing her backpack before she walks all the way into the
classroom, "You didn't tell me my zipper was down."

"What do you mean? That's not a jacket you'd want to zip up..."

I gesture aggressively to the zipper on my jeans and she laughs.

"Oh! I didn't even notice."

My blush slowly subsides, at least I didn't see West this morning before
class. He would have some sort of cocky remark about how it was down
and I would be embarrassed all day long. Alyse and I walk fully into the
room, and I send Mr. C a smile as we make our way to our seats.

"Today I just want for you to do your vocal exercises. I believe Raine is still
writing our first song." He says, looking back at me in question. The rest of
the class turns and looks at me too.

I nod, sending him a thumbs up. I worked on it a considerable amount last

night.
"Perfect. Today will be a prep day then. Go through your warm ups." He
says, but I miss the rest as my thoughts consume me.

I would be lying if I said that what West requested of me didn't keep me up

last night. As I worked on my song for this class, I kept getting distracted by
thoughts of him. They weren't about how amazing he smells or what abs
must lay beneath his shirt, or even how sexy he looks in his jeans, but rather
what he asked me to do.

He wants me to teach him sign language, and for some reason I'm not
completely against the idea.

I've never before had anyone come to me asking to teach them sign
language. Most people don't address the fact that I'm mute and it ends up
being the elephant in the room. But West just comes barging in, pointing out
that I'm mute rather rudely on a few occasions and then asks me to teach
him my ways of communication.

I made a list of pro's and cons, but it didn't help me much. The pro's consist
of the fact that I've never gotten the opportunity to teach someone sign
language, aside from Tyler and Gray, but they don't count; and I could
really help him get an A on this essay. Not to mention it would be a perfect
way to figure West out; the mysterious criminal that showed up at school
after being released from juvie.

Who doesn't want that opportunity?

Only questions have followed him since he came to our school, and
rightfully so. Helping him learn sign language may result in a lot of those
questions being answered. But however consistent the pro-list is, the list of
cons is at the forefront of my mind.

The first and most obvious: West is the epitome of what I've learned to stay
away from. He actually has a reason to be considered unpredictable and
dangerous. If there was ever a guy I should stay away from, he seems to
take the cake. The rest of the list was easy to make, too. He's cocky, he
aggravates me, he doesn't have a filter with what he says.
So why, with those signs clearly pointing to no, am I still so stuck on this
decision?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Alyse asks.

I glance around to see if anyone could be eavesdropping, which I remember

is pointless because basically no one at this school knows sign language.

"West came to me yesterday about our English essay. Guess what his topic
is?"

Her face lights up in curiosity, a sense of excitement there too.

"Please tell me it has something to do with you."

"He wants me to teach him sign language so that he can write about it."

She barely holds back a squeal, wiggling excitedly in her seat.

"No he did not! Raine! That's

perfect!

What did you tell him?"

I swear this girl lives for drama. She's going to end up having her own
reality show someday.

"I never got the chance to tell him anything. Toby came into our
conversation and pulled me away before I could answer."

"Did he know what you two were talking about?" She asks, concerned.

I shake my head.

"And you aren't sure what you would have said anyways, I assume?"

I nod.
She purses her lips and looks up in thought. "Did you make a list of pros
and cons?"

"Obviously."

"So...were there more pros or more cons?"

I look at her blankly.

"If one were outweighing the other then I wouldn't be having this problem,
now would I?"

"Fair point. Well, what made which side of the list?"

I explain to her how I'm feeling, both of us pretty much ignoring the warm-
ups Mr. C told us to do. I mean, for me it's not that huge a deal.

Alyse sits back in her seat when I finish signing every pro and con, seeming
just as stumped as me now.

"I hate to admit that I didn't even consider the biggest con when you first
told me... But Raine, as hard as I know everything has been for you, you
have already come out so much stronger. Not many people would handle
what happened with as much courage as you. I know you, and I know that a
part of you doesn't want to let that fear stop you from doing this."

I stare at her with uncertainty. 'Courage', she says? Strength? I can't talk
anymore. How is that strength?

"Raine. Don't go there," Alyse says softly, able to read my thoughts.

"What if something happens again?"

"None of us would ever let it. You really think Toby would? Have him there
with you, you don't have to be alone with West if you don't want to."

From how confident she says it, I already feel some of my worry slipping
away. If only a little.
"Look, the sheer fact you aren't automatically opposed to the idea tells me
that you want to do this. I say go for it."

I look away and silently agree with her. If I'm contemplating it this much,
then I know I must be

interested in teaching him. I can't give up that opportunity.

When I don't automatically respond, Alyse pushes her seat closer to me,
forcing me to meet her gaze.

"Hey, I mean this with as much love as I can," she starts softly, "you can't
keep allowing your fear to keep you sheltered from certain things. Don't
give Warren that satisfaction."

I know she's right, but things are never as easy as they sound. Especially
something like this. Being raped affected me greatly, having to use sign
language every day reminds me of that. But I'm aware it's been two and a
half years and it might be time to step even further out of the shell that
Warren shoved me into.

The entirety of my ninth grade year was consumed by me flinching at any

touch and shying away from any talk of sexual assault, or sexual anything. I
even had to sit out of health class during that particular lesson. I couldn't
handle the memories and emotions that arose inside of me.

I don't think rape is something that can simply be disregarded.

I've learned how to manage and how to overcome flinching away at every
mention of sex. Freshman year Raine would be shocked to see me now.
She'd be proud.

It isn't easy, but I can't let that one fateful night rule my life more anymore
than it already has.

"I can see the wheels turning in your brain, what are you thinking?"

I shift my attention to her inquisitive stare.

"I'm thinking I'm going to go for it."

"I'm proud of you," she says warmly.

I smile at her, leaning over to hug her.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."

OoO

With Alyse's words in mind, I find my feet taking me towards West's locker.
I stand just behind the open locker door as he did to me yesterday, and a
small smirk overcomes my lips at the idea of startling the bad boy.

That would be rather priceless, and perfect payback for scaring me half to
death yesterday.

He finishes putting his books away and closes his locker, but when his eyes
land on me he doesn't jump, he just raises an amused brow. I deflate and
pout slightly at his reaction- or rather lack thereof.

"I don't scare easily." He says, leaning against his locker. "Now, can I help
you Sunshine?" He asks, giving me a once over with an insufferable smirk.

I take my whiteboard from my backpack and pull the marker out with it. I
take off the cap with my teeth and keep it there as I write down what I want
to say.

'Of all things, why do you want to learn sign language?

' When I finish writing I spin the board in my hands and show it to him.

He shrugs and crosses his arms. "It's always been an interest of mine. What
are the odds the girl I sit next to in English just so happens to use it and

we have an essay about what is of interest to us? I'd say this is fate."

I narrow my eyes slightly as I stare at him. Alyse was right about a large
part of me wanting to do this, but I worry that his motives are wrong. I don't
want to be naive as I was with Warren.

Being naive is what got me here in the first place.

West must notice that I'm still on the fence about it, because he straightens
up. "Look, you would also benefit from this- not just me."

I raise a brow, silently asking him how.

"I know you haven't come up with a topic yet." He says.

'What does that have to do with anything?'

I write.

"You mean to tell me you've never wondered what juvie is like?" He asks,
raising a brow.

I tilt my head. Well, that can go on the list of pros.

"Exactly," West says, pleased with my reaction. "It's a win win situation,
Raine. I know all about juvie, and you know all about sign language."

I don't let myself over think my next action. With my eyes attached to his, I
stick out my hand. His brows raise a little in pleasant surprise.

"Deal?" He asks, reaching out to take it.

I nod as I shake his hand.

Deal.

By lunchtime I expected to seriously regret my bold decision with West, but

fortunately I haven't had any second thoughts. West and I decided that he
would come over after school today to go ahead and begin, which I'm sure
was his way of making sure I didn't have any time to rethink my decision.

Toby drove to the McDonald's down the road from school during the block
before lunch since he has a study hall and he was kind enough to buy meals
for all of us with the piles of coupons he keeps in the glove compartment of
his truck.

We all meet up with him at our table and he passes out our meals, and then
dumps all of the fries on a bunch of napkins Gray laid out in the center of
our table.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Tyler asks as he digs into his
food.

"It was especially nice of you to get West lunch too," Alyse says
sarcastically.

He did not get West lunch, and he's in line right now probably wondering
why he doesn't see the rest of us getting food as well.

"I don't have his number," Toby shrugs, taking a handful of fries. "Couldn't
text him to get his order. So Alyse, are you coming over later?"

Her and I make eye contact and she nods, silently telling me to let Toby
know that West is coming over later to start our sign language lessons. But I
shake my head, suddenly fearing his reaction. She widens her eyes, giving
me a more obvious look and an aggressive nod, so I shake my head harder
and look away.

"No, I won't be," she says, taking matters into her own hands. "But West is."

Toby nearly chokes on his fry, grabbing his sprite to wash it down as he
stares at her.

"

Excuse me?

"

"You're excused." Said delinquent comments as he walks up.

He sits down, his tray filled with nothing but three helpings of chicken
nuggets. "Oh, fries." He says excitedly, reaching into the middle to take a
few.

Great timing.

"No one informed me of this," Toby snaps to Alyse.

"Hey, don't get all snippy with me. He's not coming for me."

At that, his eyes shift to me and I sink further into my seat.

"Raine, do you have something you want to tell me?" He asks, his voice
calm with anger.

I shoot Alyse a deadly glare but she just grins at me.

"I sort of made a deal with West to teach him sign language for an English
essay."

"I really hope you suddenly forgot the sign for 'she's just kidding."

I smile sheepishly at him.

"You didn't ask me about this, Raine." Toby grinds out, his jaw set.

My nerves slip away, in a second turning into annoyance.

"Since when have I had to ask you to have people over?"

I sign defiantly.

"Last time I checked, you aren't my dad."

He glares at me. "Since you decided to invite people other than Alyse,
Tyler, or Gray."

I roll my eyes,
"Don't be hypocritical."

He continues to glare at me.

"Toby, he just wants to learn sign language."

"Is this about the English essay?" West asks casually, shifting our attention
to him.

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you've convinced her it's about," Toby
says.

West cocks a brow, glancing at me. "Uh, yeah. I asked her to teach me sign
language so I can write about it. Am I missing something here?"

If only you knew.

"Toby, relax man," Gray says, sending him a look.

Toby glances at all of us before huffing and biting angrily into his Big Mac,
saying nothing else.

West leans over to Tyler, "He doesn't like me, does he?"

Tyler, who was going to town on his own Big Mac, pauses with his mouth
full and looks at West with blank eyes. He chews the last of the food in his
mouth and swallows.

"Not gonna lie, I wasn't paying attention to anything that just went down."

OoO

I walk through the woods, following the guided path through trees that
stand tall as mountains. Bushes line the sides, each with its own flower
blooming upon it. I walk closer to the sides and let my hand fall upon a
flower with stunning blue petals. I take it from the bush and twirl it around
my fingers before placing it in my hair.
I smile and take in a deep breath, staring around me with bright eyes. I
never knew the forest could be so beautiful. Everything around me is
beautiful in it's own way, and I soak it all in. I close my eyes and listen to
the sound of the forest; the distant pecking of a woodpecker making his new
home, the rustling of leaves from a game of tag between two squirrels, and
the slight chirp of the baby bluebirds in the tree just above me.

"You made it," I hear behind me, overpowering every other noise I hear.

I whip around, surprise entering my system as I stare into the warm eyes of
my mom. A smile slowly spreads across my lips as her soft brown eyes bore
into mine.

"I've missed you, Raine." She says, walking towards me with her arms out.

How am I seeing her right now? How is she here with me?

I tilt my head with a soft smile as she gets closer. "I've missed you too." I
say.

She stops in her tracks and furrows her brow confusedly. "Did you just
talk?" She questions.

I recoil slightly, "Yeah..." I say, swallowing excitedly. "Yeah I think I did." I

say, laughing in disbelief. "I'm talking!" I exclaim, ready to yell it to the
rooftops.

My mom's smile drops and her eyes change from soft brown to icy blue, and
my heart drops. "Oh, honey. I thought we established this. You can't talk."

Her voice changed too.

Instead of her soft, loving melody, I hear a harsh and cocky distortion.

"Mom?" I question cautiously, taking a small step back.

She shakes her head, and within a second she's no longer standing in front
of me.
Warren is.

My eyes widen and I start taking more steps back as my heart rate
increases.

"How many times must I teach you not to talk before it gets through your
head?" He smirks.

I shake my head, "I'm sorry."

He narrows his eyes, "And yet you continue to talk." He growls menacingly.

I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes, my back hitting a tree.

"Looks like I'll have to teach you a lesson." Warren smirks, his eyes ablaze
with vicious excitement.

His hand comes to his belt and he starts to remove it, throwing it off to the
side as he gets closer.

I wake with a start, sitting up on the couch with a strangled gasp. I look
rapidly at my surroundings, and my breathing slows down as I realize I'm in
the safety of my house. I place my hand on my rapid heart and briefly close
my eyes, trying to calm my ragged breaths. It was only a dream.

This time, at least.

I must have drifted off when Toby and I got home. I pull my phone out,
checking the time. 4:30. West said he would be over around 5. I just hope
my nightmare wasn't some sort of foreshadowing for what's to come.

"Raine? Are you okay?" Toby asks, rushing into the living room.

I sit up on the couch and nod, waving it off.

"Bad dream?"

"Yeah. It was nothing, though. I'm okay."

"When is West getting here?" He asks, eyeing the door warily.

He finally gave into the idea of West coming over. He's still not happy
about it at all, but I think Gray and Tyler talked to him after lunch to calm
him down.

"He'll be here around five."

Toby nods, "What made you say yes to him?"

"I can't keep living in fear. All he did was ask for me to teach him sign
language, any other girl would have no issue agreeing. I don't want to feel
like I have to say no just because of..."

I trail off, letting my hands drop back to my sides.

Toby sighs deeply, looking down in thought.

"I guess you're right. I was a little harsh today at lunch, I'll admit that. I just-
you have to understand how much I worry, Raine. I never want to let
anything bad happen to you ever again, and letting him of all people come
over...it's not easy for me."

I smile slightly,

"I know, it's okay Toby. I appreciate your concern."

"I love you, Raine. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, I love you too."

"And I hope you also know that I'm going to be in the kitchen the entire
time he's here so that I can have a clear sight line and make sure he doesn't
betray the minimal trust I'm giving him."

I snort,

"I wouldn't expect anything else."

---

8/31/2020 - Lots of dialogue edits. Plot is the same, added scene at the end
with Raine and Toby to show his concern a little better :) Hope you guys are
enjoying the edits!

Another chapter down, and many more to go! Don't forget to vote and
comment :)
Chapter Eight (Edited 9/1/2020)
Thank you for all the comments and votes, I hope you all enjoy this chapter
:) 9/1/2020 - I've added a YouTube video for ASL basic phrases above!
Since this chapter is West going over the basics, I figured I would make it
easy for you all to visualize what he's learning and maybe learn some
yourself! Also, you will notice the lack of comments you see. That is
because I rewrote most of this chapter, so please please please comment
away and get the in-line comments back up!!

Poll: Chipotle or Moe's ??

Silently Falling: Chapter Eight

"Nice place," West comments as I open the door for him.

Toby is right behind me, his expression stoic and posture stiff. I know he
isn't happy West is here, but he's at least trying.

He's gone all overprotective brother on me again, which can at times lead to
him being irrational in his decisions. He only does so when a guy shows
interest in me, but West hasn't shown interest in me

. He's shown an interest in sign language, which just so happens to be a part

of me.

"I'm making myself a snack." Toby states gruffly, his shoulders squared as
he walks away.

I sigh deeply and watch him go, at least appreciating he didn't make any
rude remark. Now is the time for me to feel awkward, standing alone in the
entrance way to my house with the school's delinquent. I glance at West,
who takes off his jacket and places it on the coat hanger by the door.

He must notice my inquisitive stare because he chuckles. "Delinquents have

manners too."
My cheeks heat up a bit and I quickly walk into the living room, grabbing
my whiteboard from on the coffee table with a rainbow of dry erase
markers next to it. West plops down on the couch next to me, making my
own cushion jump up a tad. He makes himself right at home, placing his
feet on the coffee table right next to my markers and placing his arms
around the back of the couch.

"Cozy," he smirks. "So, what's first Sunshine? 'Hello, goodbye, what's your
number', 'want to get out of here and go someplace more private'? You
know, the basics."

I roll my eyes at him, choosing to ignore the latter part of his question. I
exaggerate two waves as 'hello' and 'goodbye', but then I sigh and grab the
whiteboard.

'Technically, this would be the proper sign for hello.'

I set the whiteboard down once I've finished writing and he's read it,
showing him the proper signs. For 'hello', I lift my hand with an open palm
to my temple and then wave it out.

"Seems easy enough."

'Okay, next we'll do your name. Normally, when meeting another person
who uses ASL for the first time, you would finger spell your name. Then, if
someone who is deaf or uses ASL as their primary form of communication
wants to, they will give your name its own sign.'

West reads over my shoulder as I write as quickly as possible.

"Finger spell? Like, as in with the alphabet that we learned back in

kindergarten?"

I nod, giving him an inquisitive stare to silently ask if he remembers it.

"I never thought learning the ASL alphabet would come in handy so I didn't
bother to really pay attention."

I roll my eyes, but he's not done there and I watch as he smirks at me.
"Besides, how was I supposed to know a cute girl like you would end up
teaching me?"

I would be flattered if he wasn't so cocky with his delivery. Instead of a

sheepish smile, he's just watching me with smirk to wait and see my
reaction. I don't want to give him the satisfaction, so I choose to ignore his
flirtatious line.

'

I'll show you how to finger spell your name.'

He reads the whiteboard and chuckles, silently noting the way I avoid any
reaction to him.

I slowly finger spell his name for him, watching as he repeats my

movements but choppier. Luckily his name is short and simple and all of
the letter signs are particularly easy. He glances at me for approval and I
offer a reassuring nod.

'The good part about your name, is that it already has its own sign since it
doubles as more than a name. Here's the sign for west.'

I make the sign for W, which is literally just making a W with your pointer,
middle, and ring fingers, and them move my hand to the left.

West watches my hands closely then narrows his eyes playfully, glancing at
me with a tiny grin.

"How do I know I can trust you? For all I know that's the sign for douche-
bag. And you, Sunshine, seem like the type who would pull such a good
prank."

Damn, why didn't I think of that sooner?

However, I quirk a brow at him and grab my whiteboard, scribbling down

my sentence as quickly as possible.
'Really? I show you one of the most literal signs in all of sign language- a
W for 'west' that moves to the left (which is west on a map) - and you think
it's somehow the sign for douche-bag? I'm not mean, I wouldn't do that.'

West reads the whiteboard and then glances at me slyly.

"You're upset you didn't think of it though, aren't you?"

I eye him for a second or two and then shrug, pinching my pointer finger
and thumb for a response of 'just a little.' West chuckles, his smile is
dashingly handsome and attracts my attention. From the corner of my eye, I
see his fingers form a W and he copies the sign I showed him.

"Like this?"

He moves his hand in the opposite direction as mine, so I shake my head

and re-do the sign. He does it again, doing the same thing wrong. I huff,
doing the sign in a move aggressive manner, and yet again he makes the
same mistake.

'West. You move your hand to the

left!

"

I write, tapping my marker on the word left.

He looks up at me from the whiteboard, brown eyes light with amusement.

"Sunshine? We're facing one another, I

was

moving my hand to the left."

I freeze out of embarrassment, my face instantly heating up. I know I look
red as a tomato right now. West smiles at me with a few chuckles.

"Why don't you go ahead and re-teach me the alphabet?" He offers since
I'm still frozen in place from how stupid I am.

I snap out of it and try to force my blush to go away, nodding my

agreement. For the next twenty minutes, go through trying to teach West the
alphabet. After every five letters I have him repeat them in order, then I
have him go back through all of the letters we've learned up to that point to
make sure he becomes familiar with the hand movements. Once we finish
learning all of the signs, I make him sign the whole alphabet for me.

"Admit it, Sunshine. I'm a natural," he quips once he finishes signing the
whole thing for the third time.

I scoff,

'I'll believe that if you can keep up with the things I spell.'

He reads my sentence and I notice his cocky expression fall as he glances

back at me.

"D O U C H E B A G."

I'll admit, I sign it rather quickly just to make his ego drop a little. West
blinks hard at my hands, squinting his eyes with his mouth slightly agape.

"That's not fair, you went fast on purpose."

I shrug innocently with a sly smile.

"R A I N E."

I sign slower, this time actually giving him a chance to interpret.

He cocks his head, his mouth moving silently as he sounds it out in his
head.
"Raine?"

I nod in approval.

"What's your name sign? I hope you've made it something better than a
lame W moving to the left."

I hold my hands up and then bring them down a few times in short, straight
lines and add the letter sign for E at the end. The initial sign is supposed to
imitate rainfall. I could have gotten more creative with my name instead of
doing the literal sign, but since anyone referring to me can just speak it out
loud I decided not to put too much thought into it.

"If that's the sign for rain, let me guess the sign for sunshine," West quips
with another cocky grin. He makes a circle above him with his pointer
finger, doing jazz hands after to imitate what I assume are the rays.

I tilt my head as he finishes his ridiculous sign.

"No?"

I shake my head and then show him the actual sign. It has two parts. First, I
make a circle with my index finger above my head-

"Hey! I was right-"

I wave him off to cut him off, sending him a look and he places his hands
up innocently.

I repeat the first part, quickly going on to the second portion of this sign. I
start with my fingers and thumb together and then spread them apart as
though shining light down on myself. I catch West's gaze when I finish.

He shrugs, "I liked the jazz hands better."

For the rest of our lesson, I go through the basic greetings of ASL. As much
as I hate to admit it, West is a fast learner. He remembers most of the signs
easily, but his hand movements are a little stiff which is normal with
someone new to sign language.
"So, break time?" West asks, cracking his knuckles and stretching his
fingers out.

'Sure. You've earned it I guess.'

He reads it and raises a brow, "You guess?"

I roll my eyes and erase that part, showing it back to him. I raise my brows
at him as if to ask happy now?

"Sunshine, I'm hanging out with you. I've been happy since you first spelled
out douche-bag to me," he flirts carelessly, eyes lit with mischief.

My jaw drops.

"You knew what I finger-spelled?"

I sign, forcing myself to go slowly so he can pick up on it. Everything I

signed was in our lesson today.

He smirks, "I told you, I'm a natural."

I narrow my eyes at him. There's no way he already knew sign language

coming into this, I can tell that much by how choppy his sign movements
are.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. I sort of guessed just then, but you need to
learn how to bluff, Sunshine."

Instantly, my face drops into a scowl. How can I continue to let him do
things like that? I stand up and start to walk to the kitchen, catching Toby
sitting much too close to the wall halfway dividing the kitchen from the
living room. He tries to scoot his seat back to the dinner table without me
noticing, but I cross my arms and stare at him, earning a sheepish smile in
response. I knew he'd be listening in, but he didn't need to be practically
stalking us the whole time.

I go towards the cupboard, glancing behind me to see West standing from

the couch to follow.
"Hey Toby."

Toby just gruffly nods, not saying anything else and I roll my eyes.

"I G N O R E him."

West carefully reads my finger spelling and then glances at Toby who was
also watching what I signed and in return makes a face at me.

"You two really do have a nice place," West comments, sitting down at the
bar stools on the island.

Our kitchen is nice. Our dad updated it a few years ago before he started
flying regularly to New York, thinking a new kitchen would make him want
to cook more. Now, I use it instead. The cabinets are white, and we have
speckled gray counter tops with the island wood a dark gray. Double oven,
stainless steel appliances, a wine cooler, etc etc. Our dad got all the cool
gadgets.

I turn back towards the cupboard to look for something for us to eat and
shrug. I take out crackers and set them on the table before I walk to the
fridge and take out a block of cheese, the whole time feeling West's eyes on
me. His gaze isn't as intimidating when I'm not meeting it, but it still stirs
something inside of me.

"If you're going to stare at her, at least don't be so obvious," Toby states
bluntly.

I turn around, catching West still looking at me. He keeps my gaze with his
same cocky grin and then glances over at Toby.

"Sorry," he says with a small shrug.

I awkwardly return to cutting the cheese for the crackers. When I finish half
the cheese block I bring them over to the crackers and stand across from
West.

'Time for the quiz.'

I write as I munch on a cracker. I spin the whiteboard towards him and he
raises a brow at it.

"Quiz?" He questions.

I nod, taking another cracker. I turn the board back towards me and erase
the previous sentence to write another; one elbow bent on the table holding
my food, while the other writes what I want to say.

'After every lesson we have, I'm going to quiz you. That way I can see your
progress.'

"Fair enough." He says, reaching for his own cracker and cheese. I can't
stop myself from watching as he lifts it to his mouth, a single crumb falling
onto his lip. His tongue darts out to wipe it away, leaving his lips wet and
utterly desirable.

I snap myself out of my staring and stand up straight, blinking a few times
to rid myself of the daze I was in. I don't need Toby making the same
remark to me.

"What happens if I fail this quiz?" West asks, reaching for another cracker
before meeting my eyes.

I make sure to keep my eyes away from his lips this time. I instead divert
them to my whiteboard.

'You won't.'

"So confident in me."

'Confident in myself, actually.'

I write with a smirk of my own.

He reads it and chuckles.

"What, do you want to be a teacher someday or something?"

I shrug,

'Okay, we're going to have a conversation using what I taught you today.'

I write.

I wait until he nods to start.

"Hello, my name is Raine. What is your name?"

West takes a few seconds to comprehend what I signed and starts his own
response.

"Nice to meet you, my name is West.

Oh, and don't forget we're facing one another. I moved my hand to the left,"
he adds verbally with a small wink.

I roll my eyes at him and grab my whiteboard.

'Don't forget to make sure you are using your dominant hand when you sign
the word 'nice', okay?'

West nods, re-signing the word.

"Do you know sign language well?"

I sign.

"I am learning sign language and finger spelling."

I smile proudly at him and keep going.

"Where are you from, West?"

He scrunches up his face as he watches me sign, seeming a little confused

for a couple of seconds before the light bulb goes off in his head.

"I am from Long G R O V E, and you?"

He has to spell out the word grove, most likely forgetting the sign I taught
him earlier, so I quickly show him and have him re-sign the sentence.

"Me too, how would you describe yourself?"

He reads it over and nods, "Alright, I got this." He says before flexing his
hands with a smirk.

"To describe myself, I'm sarcastic."

He signs.

"And single,"

he adds.

I raise a bored brow at him and he winks, causing my stomach to flip

against my will. I shake my head at him and eat another cracker. I would
have to pretty stupid to not see that he's been awfully flirtatious with me all
night, but I know better than to let it get to me.

Warren was particularly flirtatious with me too.

I won't be naive again.

We keep going until I'm pleased with how much he's remembered.

"I have to say, I'm impressed," Toby says from his spot at the kitchen table.

West turns to him, "You sister is a good teacher."

"I know. She taught Gray and Tyler, and continues to help me and Alyse,"
Toby says, clearly not wanting to act too friendly with West.

"Answer me this," West says to me, taking a piece of cheese from the
platter I laid out.

I nod, leaning my elbows on the counter.

"How come you didn't go to the party?"

I freeze mid-bite before slowly chewing and swallowing my food, noticing

Toby direct his full attention to us with hard eyes. He stands up from his
seat and walks over, acting as though he's only coming for the food.

"Why?"

"I'm just curious. I mean, all of your friends went."

"

Alyse didn't."

I sign rather quickly.

"Uh," he says, staring at my hands blankly.

I sign the same sentence, this time much slower.

"She didn't go because you didn't go." He says.

I look down and shrug.

'I just didn't want to.'

I write on the whiteboard.

"Seems like there's more to it than that," West says inquisitively.

"She doesn't have to offer you an explanation," Toby snaps. "She didn't
want to go, who cares? Not everyone is all for the party scene."

West looks at him and backs off, "I'm just curious."

"Yeah, well it's getting late. You clearly learned a lot today and Raine and I
both have a lot of homework we should be doing."

I stop myself from rolling my eyes at Toby.

"Thanks, Dad."

I sign sarcastically.

He glances at me but doesn't say anything else, instead looking back at

West.

He stands up, grabbing another cracker with cheese. "Alright." He glances

at me, quickly popping the food in his mouth to free his hands.

"Thank you, Sunshine."

I smile at him, pleased that he used ASL instead of speaking it out loud. He
may actually do well with all of this. I walk him to the front door and he
grabs his jacket off the hanger.

"When should we..."

he trails off and speaks the next part aloud. "How do you sign, 'do it
again?'"

I smile and show him. He watches me carefully and nods, repeating what I
did.

"When do you want to?"

"Let's see, tomorrow's Wednesday and I have a lot of homework... How

about Thursday after school?" He asks, opening the door as I nod. "Alright,
see you then, Sunshine."

Once he leaves, I head to the living room to get started on homework.

Particularly the song for Mr. C's class. I sit down on the piano bench and
slide my hand across the cover before sliding it up to reveal the stark white
and pitch black keys. An unconscious smile fills my lips as the keys smile
back at me. I reach down to my backpack and pull out my songbook,
flipping to the most recent pages. I read over it before setting it atop the
piano, wasting no time in playing the melody of notes I've created.
After a few hours, I finish the melody of my first chorus song. I replay it
time and time again to get used to the flow of notes, and to get myself
comfortable enough to play without the notes written out in front of me. I
smile in accomplishment once I get a full run through without even once
glancing at my songbook.

I play it one more time and I close my eyes as I play the song; the feel of
the keys is like my own safe place. My music becomes my sanctuary, the
piano my heaven and the melody my cloud nine. I run through the song, my
whole body moving as I play the collection of notes I've come up with. I
play my final note, letting the sound drown out on it's own.

I jump when I hear clapping from the kitchen spin myself around to see
Toby leaning against the wall frame.

"That was beautiful," he comments.

I smile at him,

"It's my new song for chorus."

"Mr. C will love it."

I look back at the piano and run my hand along the keys, pressing down on
random notes.

"As much as I love hearing you play and create songs, it's already eleven.
We have school tomorrow, why don't you get some sleep?" He requests.

I look back at him and nod with a small smile,

"Goodnight."

He smiles back. "Goodnight, sis. Sleep tight." He says before pushing off
the wall and padding down the hallway and upstairs to his room.

I sigh and face my body back towards my piano. My hand comes up to

glide across the wood atop it and a frown takes over my lips.
I don't remember much of my mother, but I do remember that she would
play this piano every night. No matter how hard her day was or how tired
she was, she always found time to play. Playing soothed her, it took her to
another place that she could never reach in her regular day.

She's the reason I love it so much. She's the reason I play.

I sigh and head upstairs to my own room. I yawn and quickly get changed
into my pajamas; one of my father's old shirts and pajama pants. I gently
take my mothers necklace off and delicately place it on its rightful place on
my dresser. My dreams urge to consume me almost as soon as I hit the
pillow.

---

9/1/2020 - I pretty much completely re-wrote this chapter. I wasn't happy

with the dialogue beforehand, mainly because what Raine was teaching
West wouldn't be anything someone teaching ASL would start with. I want
to make it more realistic and did my research this time around on what a
beginner would start with. I also tried to make West's personality shine
through a little better without constantly having him "smirk" and say sexual
comments. I'm not changing his personality in any way, I'm just writing it a
little more realistically. I hope you all enjoyed these edits!
Chapter Nine (Edited 9/2/2020)
I couldn't ask for better readers :) Don't forget to click that star and vote,
and be sure to comment your thoughts!

Amazing attached cover was made by

OfDustAndShadows

Thank you so much for taking the time to make it :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Nine

"Raine, come on! Alyse is already in the car, we're waiting for you!" Toby
hollers up into my room.

I let out a groan and start brushing my hair even faster. My alarm didn't go
off this morning, but by some miracle Toby's did. He assumed I was just
getting ready in my room and didn't come in to wake me up until five
minutes ago.

I glance at the clock in worry; 8:17. We usually leave at 8:05, and we have
to be at school by 8:30. It takes ten minutes to drive there with all the
morning traffic. That leaves me three minutes to run to my first block class
that's at least five minutes from where we enter.

I look at my hair in the mirror and decide that I look fine before booking it
down the stairs and into Toby's truck.

"About time. How is it

Toby

was ready before you?" Alyse asks.

I just send her a look and catch my breath.

"You good sis? You sound like you just had a fucking sex marathon." My
brother grumbles from the front seat.

I wince at his metaphor and look out the window to my left as my breathing
slows. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but once again I find myself
pushing back the memories that are fighting to resurface. And it's no one's
fault but Warren's.

"Toby..." Alyse says, sending him a look.

He catches her eye in the rear view mirror and his eyes widen as he realizes
what he said and who he said it to. "Shit." He says, letting out a sigh. But
before he can apologize, I wave it off.

"It's no big deal, Toby."

I sign.

He watches me through the mirror and nods, "Still, I'm sorry Raine. It was
out of line."

I give him a smile and dismiss his worry. I'm a big girl, I can handle a
simple mention of sex without going all depressed.

At least I should be able to.

We get to school at 8:27 on the dot and each of us rush to our classes, Alyse
running with me to music. Toby nearly slips on an old puddle from the rain
last night, causing Alyse to laugh at him. He sends her a glare, but I see the
way he tries to hide his smile.

"Pretend you didn't see that?" Toby requests.

Alyse shrugs, "Didn't see what?"

Toby chuckles at her, shutting the door to his truck with a small head shake.
As cute as this moment is between the two of them, I grab Alyse's arm and
drag her along so that we won't be late to class. We enter music class just as
the bell sounds and send Mr. C a smile as we catch our breath. He nods at
the two of us as we squeeze through all of our classmates and hustle to our
seats.

"So, you never texted me back last night!" Alyse exclaims, lightly smacking
my shoulder. "Your first date with West and you didn't even tell your best
friend about it."

My eyes widen at her and I instantly shake my head,

"Date? It was not a date, Alyse. I'm just teaching him sign language."

"Yeah, but you two were alone for an extended period of time and got to
know one another. That, Raine, is a date. When's date number two?"

"We didn't get to know one another. I literally just taught him sign
language. And tomorrow after school is when our next lesson

is."

"You mean to tell me that for as long as he was over there, you didn't learn
one

thing about him?" Alyse asks, staring at me as if I'm insane.

It starts to sink in that a big part of the reason I agreed to this was to get to
know West and learn the truth behind all the rumors, and I haven't done that
at all.

I sheepishly shake my head no.

"Have I taught you nothing?"

I roll my eyes at her.

"So is there
anything

interesting that you can tell me? Did he secretly already know sign
language? Did he flirt with you?"

I shrug, trying not to let Alyse read my body language from her final
question. He did

flirt with me, and I know from the way I shifted in my seat lets her know
that.

"He flirted with you?!" She exclaims, picking up on exactly what I was
hoping she wouldn't. "Tell me everything."

"It's no big deal. He's like the boys, they shamelessly flirt with anyone who
has boobs. They're called players for a reason."

I respond.

She snorts and rolls her eyes, "Raine, come on. He may know how to flirt,
but he has turned down every girl you and I have seen come up to him. Yet
you said he was flirting with you."

I shake my head and look back at her.

"Warren was the same way."

"Warren flirted with anything that had a pulse." She says sympathetically.
"West doesn't."

Clenching my teeth, I avoid her serious gaze. I can't compare them. If I do

that, I'll just scare myself into ditching my lessons with West. I can't
convince myself that every guy is like Warren, I've only just started to get
past that mindset. I'm saved from having to answer Alyse when Mr. C calls
me up to the front.

"Raine!"
I thankfully get up and rush over to him.

"How far along are you with that new song?" He asks.

"It's almost finished. No lyrics yet, but the melody is done."

I'm glad he knows at least a little sign language, it makes my life a lot
easier.

His smile widens a little. "Wonderful. Would you like to share the melody
with the class?"

I bite my lip and look around the room. Everyone is either on their phones,
talking to friends, or doing the homework they didn't get to last night. My
eyes go to the piano and I nod, going towards it to take my seat.

"Alright class! Raine has her new song almost finished, but the lyrics are
still being written. She's going to play the melody for you all. Listen up and
let us know what you think!"

I place my songbook on the stand, just in case I forget a note or two, and
take a small breath to prepare myself. I don't really have much stage fright,
but playing an original song in front of twenty judgmental teenagers can be
a daunting task.

I begin to play the tune, nodding my head along to the upbeat song. I forget
one or two notes and quickly look up at my songbook that I've been flipping
along. I glance up at the class every now and then to gauge their reactions,
and when I see them subtly bobbing their heads with the beat I am able to
relax. They like it. When the song finishes up, I slow it down a little before
ending the final note.

"That was amazing, Raine." Mr. C says with a wide, warming smile.

The class murmurs their agreement, clapping for me.

"How soon can you get the lyrics done? I'd love to get started with this as
soon as possible."
"Early next week?"

Mr. C smiles yet again,

"And this is why you're my favorite."

He signs, causing me to laugh lightly.

After class, I meet Toby at my locker per usual and we head to AP US

History together. Gray and Tyler are already there, and we walk into Tyler
trying to convince Gray that he would win in an arm wrestling match
against The Rock.

"Dude, I'm telling you I would win!"

"Tyler, do you realize how much bigger than you The Rock is? He's almost
an entire foot taller."

"Height doesn't matter in an arm wrestling match."

"Yes it does. Your wingspan is exactly the same as your height, so his arms
are significantly longer than yours and he'd have a clear advantage," Gray
retaliates.

"But my muscles are

huge."

"Not huge enough to be nicknamed The Rock..."

"I would be called The Boulder."

Toby and I sit down, interrupting the debate.

"Tyler, you couldn't even beat me in an arm wrestling match, let alone The
Rock." Toby says.

Tyler guffaws at him, "Couldn't beat

you?

Okay, bet. Let's do it. Raine- go ahead and put your money on me, I'm
about to cream him."

I quirk a brow at Tyler, who is rolling up his sleeves and flexing his bicep.
Toby is pretty much ignoring him, instead sifting through his backpack for
his textbook.

"Not today, man," Toby says.

Tyler's posture deflates and his smile melts away into a frown. "Why?" he
whines.

Toby rolls his eyes, "Because we're in class. And yesterday was arm day at
the gym, my muscles are sore and I don't want that to give you an unfair
advantage."

I silently thank God when our teacher starts class, cutting their conversation
off and saving me from having to listen to both of them go on and on about
their muscles. Class goes by as usual, and then we are on our way to lunch,
greeting Alyse on the way.

We go through line, choosing between today's Special of Chicken Parmesan

or the usual chicken tenders. I would have gotten the special, but the
freshmen in front of me grab the last of the batch in my specific line, so I
pout and go for the tenders. We pay and head back the table where the
others are waiting.

"No fries today?" Tyler asks as I sit down next to him.

"They didn't have any, therefore you cannot steal any."

Tyler chuckles, lightly nudging me. "You know me too well."

As I begin to open my ketchup packets and squirt them onto my tray, I

catch sight of West from the corner of my eye. He sets his tray down and I
eye his Chicken Parmesan, jealous he happened to choose the right line
whereas I clearly chose wrong.
"Good afternoon, everyone,"

West signs, catching my eye with a proud smile.

"Wait what?" I hear Tyler say.

"So, I take it the lesson went well?" Gray asks.

Tyler scrunches his face, glancing between me and West. "Lesson?"

"Raine is helping me learn sign language,"

West signs slowly yet confidently.

Someone has been practicing.

"Oh," Tyler says, and I don't really pay much attention to the sad undertone.
"Well, that's cool. You seem to be pretty good at it already."

West winks in my direction, "You can thank my teacher for that."

I watch as Toby rolls his eyes, biting hastily into his food.

"Raine helped teach the rest of us, too." Alyse says.

"She was telling me that yesterday," West says before biting into a chicken
tender, "Damn these are good."

I furrow my brow and glance at him and then at his tray. He got the special,
not chicken tenders? Realization dawns on me as I meet his smirking eyes
and I quickly look down at my tray. I pull my lips into a tight line as I see
one of my four chicken tenders missing.

"Do you want to lose me as your sign language teacher?"

West chews the tender, cocking his head since he didn't understand my
hands. "I got 'do you, me, sign language...' and that's about it."
I roll my eyes, not even bothering to re-sign or have someone interpret for
me.

Gray chuckles and shakes his head. "West, if you aren't careful you may
find yourself buried alive."

Nothing particularly interesting happens for the rest of the day, other than
West occupying my mind. However, when Thursday rolls around I'm
already feeling nervous for our second lesson.

I close my locker and follow Alyse as we head to English; the class I have
with West. I don't know why he makes me so nervous. Maybe it's because I
still can't get a read on him, or because I don't understand his interest in me
or sign language. We walk into class and Mr. Patterson sends us both
friendly smiles with a small greeting as we walk towards our seats. I settle
into my desk and pull out my agenda to write down the homework.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see West smirking at me. I raise a
brow at him and he signs "

Hello.

"

I crack a small grin and sign it back, then I get out my infamous
whiteboard.

'You know, if you're trying to impress me by always signing your greeting,

you're going to have to do better than hello.'

He chuckles,

"Good afternoon, Sunshine."

I want to be annoyed with the nickname, but I think I set myself up for that
one.

'Glad to see you're remembering what I taught you.'

"I'm a good student when I want to be. But, a good teacher is always
helpful," he says smoothly.

I hear Alyse practically gasp out of excitement behind me from West's

obvious flirting. Doesn't she get that he just has a naturally flirtatious
personality?

"Mr. Love, if you would be so kind as to shut your trap then maybe I could
get on with today's lesson." Mr. Patterson scowls in his direction.

I catch West's eye roll, but he sends the teacher a curt smile. "Of course, sir.
How could I be so rude as to interrupt someone?"

Mr. Patterson simply narrows his eyes before going into his lesson. Lucky
for us, half way through the block he decides to give us the rest of class as a
study hall.

"The rest of today will be a free day, I suggest you use your time wisely and
research your topic more than I hope you already have."

The teacher's pet speaks up from the front of the room. "Oh, I've already
finished my research and am almost done with the essay."

He smiles widely at her, "I'm sure it will be my favorite essay too."

I start to write down my topic on my blank sheet of paper when I feel

familiar warm breath on my ear. It cascades across my temple and sends a
shiver through my body, causing my heart to do a small leap.

"How much you wanna bet she's even more than the teachers pet?" West
whispers. "I bet she's the teacher's sex toy too."

I choke on my own spit and start choking/laughing. I look over at West and
cover my mouth with my hand, a smile hidden behind. He's looking down
at me, a grin on his lips.

"I didn't know such talk amused you so much, Sunshine."

I bite my lip from behind my hand and go back to my own paper, ignoring
his last comment.

"You know, if the teachers pet gets a little extra action...I could always start
sucking up to you." He suggests.

I know he's joking, but I can't help the way my mind shuts down and my
body freezes. Maybe it's double standards to laugh about him commenting
about my classmate but getting freaked out when he jokes with me, but
that's something I can't help. I wish I could laugh at this. I wish my mind
didn't automatically throw up a warning sign. I wish Warren didn't ruin a
part of me.

West must realize I didn't give the reaction he was expecting, because I
notice his cocky expression drop within seconds.

"I was just kidding, Sunshine."

I force myself to nod and smile as though I didn't just overreact to

something as small as what he said.

"Are we still good for tonight's lesson?"

He signs, pausing a few times to remember what the next hand movement
is.

I meet his gaze after reading his signs and can't help but smile slightly,
giving a nod in response.

---

9/2/2020 - I debated taking this chapter out because it doesn't add much,
but I really like the dynamic between Raine and West here :)
Chapter Ten (Edited 9/10/2020)
Attached is a picture that will be described in this chapter. This is an actual
cell from a Juvenile Detention Center.

Silently Falling: Chapter Ten

After school, I meet Toby and Alyse by his truck as I mentally prepare for
when West comes after school. We drop Alyse off at home and head back to
our house with the radio up all the way.

"When is West getting here?" Toby asks as we pull up to the driveway,

turning down the music.

I go to answer him, but said bad boy comes pulling in behind us only
seconds later. Toby watches in the rear view mirror and I watch the scowl
form on his face.

"Never mind," he mutters, turning off the truck and stepping out.

I follow, grabbing my backpack before shutting the truck door as Toby

walks around to my side and eyes West as he gets out of his old Jeep Grand
Cherokee. I'm not sure what year it is, but it's most definitely older than me.
There's bits of rust threatening the bottom, and the black paint has a few
scratches, but for the most part West has kept his car in great shape.

"Hey Sunshine, Toby," he says, walking towards us.

"Were you waiting down the road or something?" Toby grunts, crossing his
arms.

West quirks a brow, "Raine told me to be here at 4:30, it's 4:30..."

I roll my eyes and start on my way to the front door.

"Ignore him,"
I sign to West.

We head inside and Toby goes to the kitchen to do his homework while
West is over. He still isn't thrilled about these lessons and isn't backing
down on his plan to always be downstairs when West is over. But, I can't
say it bothers me too much. The extra security calms that never-ending fear
in the back of my mind of being taken advantage of again.

West and I settle into the couch and I shuffle through my backpack for my
whiteboard, going with a green marker today.

'How much do you remember from our last lesson?'

I write.

"All of it."

I raise a skeptical brow, but he pushes past it.

"So, how come brother bear in there is so cold towards me?" He asks with a
hint of amusement, nodding towards the kitchen.

'He's just protective over me.'

"So I've noticed, why-"

I cut him off by holding up my hands for a second or two, then quickly grab
my whiteboard and scribble down my sentence.

'Ah, today is my day to ask questions. My end of the essay, remember?'

West reads it over and chuckles, backing off. He gestures for me to go

ahead.

"Ask away, Sunshine."

He keeps his eyes on mine, and I feel frozen under his gaze. I need to look
away so I can start with my interview, but it feels like his stare has reached
out and is holding me in place.
Surprisingly, I'm not trying to pull away.

I snap out of my daze, letting out a small breath and start writing down all
of the questions Alyse helped me come up with in the car. West tries to read
as I write them down, but I pull my knees up and lean the whiteboard on
them to block his view, sending him a look. When I finish writing them, I
spin it around to show him.

'What was the first thing that went through your head when you went to
juvie?'

He thinks about it for a second before smirking widely, "'Damn, I had better
not drop the soap.'"

Did he just-

If I could talk, this would be the time for me to choke on my words and
stutter out a response. However, just because I use ASL doesn't really save
me from stuttering. I lift my hands to sign a response, but I'm too shocked
to even think of anything so my hands just kind of hover in the air.

West looks at my hands and then at me, eyes brimming with mischievous
humor.

"So this is a mute's- I mean, someone who is vocally challenged's version of

being at a loss for words, huh?"

I finally am able to snap out of my shock and roll my eyes at him, lightly
smacking his shoulder with my whiteboard. With the space I left underneath
my questions, I write down my response.

'Serious answers only.'

"Who says I wasn't being serious?"

I narrow my eyes at him.

He puts his hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay. First thought?" He pauses

and mulls it over, eyes focused down on the couch cushions as he answers.
"'I can't believe I somehow ended up here.'"

He keeps his eyes trained on the cushion for a few seconds more. His mind
seems to be back on that day, brows drawn together in thought. I frown,
awkwardly fumbling with my marker while hoping none of my questions
are too personal.

"Next question," West says, breaking the silence with his tone back to its
usual vigor.

I show him the whiteboard and point to the next question I wrote down.

"Were you scared, and of what?" He reads out loud, cocking his head. He
lifts his eyes to mine and smirks, "Come on Sunshine, don't ask me
ridiculous questions."

I furrow my brow,

"You weren't S C A R E D at all?"

I sign slowly, having to spell it out since I can't recall teaching the sign to
him.

"No. I was angry. What's next?"

I watch as his jaw clenches for a second or two before he quickly replaces
his scowl with a cool look, and I show the next question.

'Describe the first day.'

West sighs, shifting around a little. His eyes dart back down to the cushion,
brows once again furrowing as he recalls the memory.

"I showed up, the removed my handcuffs and I remember instantly rubbing
my wrists. Handcuffs are just as uncomfortable as they look. I had to
remove my belt and all of the random things in my pockets before getting
patted down. I was ushered to the showering area where they gave me soap,
shampoo, and my towels through this two way door. The shower was
so...bland. White tiles, no color anywhere. After, they issued me my clothes
and led me to my pod- that's what they called the different dormitory areas.
A, B, C, and D. Each one had four cells, I was in Pod D. I was in a cell with
one bed, but there were a few with two if you were lucky enough to have a
roommate. My cell, just like the others, had a built in desk that was attached
to the wall and only jutted out only one foot. There was a metal stool to go
with it, bolted to the floor, a sink, and a toilet. The walls...they were boring
white concrete. Hell, even the bed was just a concrete box with a mattress
on top with some sheets and a pillow."

He stops there, swallowing hard before clearing his throat and glances at me
with any emotion other than laid-back completely masked. "That answer
your question?"

Even knowing that West was in juvie, I never really thought about what it
must have been like for him. He seems so carefree, so confident in himself.
But hearing him talk about juvie...I can tell the toll being there actually took
on him. I wasn't expecting it to sound so much like a prison, and I wasn't
expecting him to actually answer my questions truthfully.

Then, West chuckles.

"Sunshine, don't look so down. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. The food was
decent."

I realize my emotions are clear on my face, so I quickly look away and

force myself to shake off the sympathy coating my eyes, choosing to lighten
the mood.

'Right, those were the only questions I had for now.'

West reads over my sloppy handwriting and nods, relaxing back into the
couch.

"Well, if anymore come to mind just ask."

Well...

'
So...did you ever drop the soap?'

I write, shrugging at him.

He reads my handwriting and laughs, and I find myself chuckling with him.

"It was a coed detention facility. We were kept separated from the girls
when it came to our cells and showers, but there wasn't the need for....

that

when we could still interact with the girls," he explains. "You can put your
dirty thoughts to rest now, Sunshine."

I feel my face heat up and I smile sheepishly at him, just causing him to
chuckle some more.

"Now it's my turn."

I raise a brow in confusion at him.

"Your turn?"

He nods, "To ask questions, of course." He smirks, placing his arm around
the back of the couch.

"Oh."

"Where are your folks? Surely they wouldn't let you stay at home with a
delinquent, I mean who knows what I may do?" He asks rather
suggestively.

I ignore what he insinuated and look away, gnawing on my cheek at his

question. I'm nowhere near close enough to West to tell him about my
mother's fateful death or my father's absence. And I doubt I'll ever be that
close with him.

"Father's out of town on business."

I sign, and he nods, comprehending.

"Either you didn't mention your mom, or I'm a really shitty student." He
says, cocking his head at me.

I don't answer.

West doesn't question me further about her.

"So, your dad is out of town on business. What does he do?"

I adjust my position, pulling my legs up underneath me on the couch.

'He works for some accounting firm in New York.'

"New York? He couldn't find a job in Chicago?"

I look down and fiddle with the couch while shrugging,

'He's been with the same company since he got out of college, and he's
moved up the chain to where he needs to be at the office in NY a lot.'

West frowns as he reads the whiteboard, "How often do you see him?"

'Every few weeks he'll come home for a few days.'

I answer truthfully.

He glances towards the kitchen were Toby is, "That why Toby is so over
protective? Because it's just the two of you for the most part?"

I continue to gnaw on my cheek and nod, avoiding eye contact.

It's hard not having my dad around. I used to be daddy's little girl,
especially without my mom. He was always there for us before he got
promoted. He was the perfect father, and those memories make it even
harder not having him here.
I go to sign something, but when I glance up my heart leaps as I meet
West's gaze. He's watching me closely, brown eyes frowning at me.

We break out of our stare when I hear the chair in the kitchen abruptly
scratch against the floor. Toby comes into the living room seconds later,
placing his phone into his pocket.

"I've got to head out, so West you gotta go. Sorry to cut your lesson short."

"Where are you going?"

I sign, but Toby ignores it.

West cocks a brow, nearly scoffing. "What? Raine isn't allowed to have a
friend over when you aren't here?"

Toby narrows his eyes, jaw clicking. "It's time for you to leave."

I stare at Toby to try and get his attention, but he refuses to break eye
contact with West who sighs and stands up.

"Well, in that case, I guess I'll be going. Sunshine," he says, turning to me

with a grin, "always a pleasure. Let me know when your da-brother will let
you and I have another lesson."

I stand up along with West to walk him to the front door, trying to control
my annoyance with Toby. I have a pretty good guess as to why he suddenly
has to leave. There's only one thing that could get him to just abruptly head
out. Someone called him for some...fun.

"I'm sorry about him,"

I sign to West.

"He's just..."

"Overprotective? Overbearing?" West offers with a smirk.

I sigh and awkwardly nod.

West shrugs on his jacket, sending me a cool smile. "Don't worry about it.
I've dealt with worse."

West opens the front door and steps outside into the fall air, looking back at
me before walking all the way down the front porch steps.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sunshine."

When he gets to his Jeep, I shut the front door and turn back around to Toby
who is on his phone. I wave to get his attention, and he glances up at me.

"Seriously? Where do you have to go all of the sudden?"

He sighs, "I have to work on a project."

"Bullshit."

I sign before crossing my arms over my chest.

"I

am

working on a project, Raine. It just happens to be over at Tina's house."

I scoff,

"Are you kidding me? You're leaving for a booty call? And you forced West
to leave?"

"Who cares if he left? It's a good thing I made him leave, you can't be here
alone with him."

"He was here for 30 minutes, Toby. We didn't even start our lesson. Your
'project' couldn't wait?"

"I don't want to have to plan my life around some lowlife like him!" He
yells, suddenly losing his temper.
"You don't even know the guy!"

I sign, and if I could talk then I would have been yelling.

"Oh and you do?" He scoffs.

I don't respond.

"I don't want someone like him around you!" Toby yells, causing me to
flinch in the slightest. "I wasn't able to protect you once before, I'm not
making the same mistake this time around, Raine."

It isn't often he yells at me, it really isn't often he gets angry with me.

"I understand that you want to protect me, Toby, but you don't get to choose
who I hangout with."

"Why can't you just hang out with Alyse! She's not a threat!"

"Who said West was a threat?"

I sign, giving him a incredulous look.

"Oh, so now you trust this guy? He's been to jail, Raine, and we don't know
what for!" He shouts, throwing his hands in the air.

"Juvie."

"From the way he was describing it, it sounds like the same damn thing."

"You were eavesdropping?"

I sign angrily.

"I was observing, yes! But juvie or jail or whatever, he's not someone to
trust."

"I never said I trusted him, I'm just saying he hasn't given me any reason to
be scared of him!"
"The things you heard aren't enough?!" He hollers, looking at me
incredulously.

"Not all rumors are true! I thought you of all people would know that from
what rumors swarmed around you and Warren!"

I sign, angry tears rising in my throat.

"They had no evidence, they all completely guessed! West has been to
juvie, that's fucking proof that he's done something!" He yells, getting
closer to me.

"People go to juvie for stupid things, and sometimes they are wrongly
convicted."

I point out, swallowing my tears.

"People go to juvie for things that are against the law and put others in
danger." Toby growls. "Don't try to tell me you think this guy went to juvie
for no reason, Raine!" He yells incredulously.

I take a step back as his yelling intensifies and tears threaten to spill from
my eyes. "Is it going to take him fucking raping you for you to realize he
isn't the type of guy to just have over?" He yells, huffing from his anger.

I feel as if I got the wind knocked out of me when he finishes and I look
away from him.

I don't care how upset he is. Bringing

that

up will never be okay.

I know he realizes how far he went when his anger instantly changes to
shock and his eyes widen. He stands there still as a statue, mouth agape.
"Raine, I am so sorry-"

"Too far."

I sign, pushing past him to go to my room.

"Raine! Please, I didn't mean to say anything like that!"

I storm up the stairs, making it a point to make my rage known, and then
slam my door shut. The tears stream down my face as I slide down my wall,
burying my head in my hands.

I don't like arguing with Toby, I don't like it when we get mad at each other.
He's the only family that cares about me, and when he yells at me I start to
feel alone. He was the one there for me the most when Warren assaulted
me. He was my rock. To hear him threaten me with the mention of rape...
it's the worst thing he could say to me. As much as I wish it didn't, the
mention of rape brings flashbacks flooding into my mind; and this time the
flashbacks aren't so easy to keep back.

"Where are we going?" I asked, leaning heavily on Warren for support.

I missed his smirk as he responded. "Don't worry, Raine. I'm taking you
upstairs, I'll make you feel better."

I giggled, "What is that supposed to mean, Warren?" I asked, stumbling up

the stairs.

He chuckled, "Come on, you'll see. I hope you at least remember some of
it."

More sobs escape my body, how could I have been so stupid? The signs
were so clear. I should have known. I could have prevented it.

"Warren...what are you doing?" I asked as he threw me on a bed and locked

the door behind him.

"Getting you away from the party, you said you were feeling hazy." He
explained as he unbuttoned his shirt.
I nodded, laying my head back. "Oh... Thank you." I sighed with a small
smile, but then I lifted my head again. "Then why are you taking your shirt
off?"

He met my eyes and let out a laugh, only it didn't sound like the carefree
laugh I was used to. It sounded evil, and it scared me. He walked towards
me and my heart started racing.

"You'll see soon enough."

My eyebrows furrowed together, my hazy mind having trouble

comprehending his words. Next thing I knew, he was on top of me and my
dress was being torn off.

"Warren, no! I-"

That's when I feel a piercing pain in my cheek and my mouth is violently

covered.

My breathing starts to intensify and I clench my eyes tight, I need to stop

my flashbacks before I remember too much. I don't want to relive it. I want
to forget it. I want for it to have never happened. I want my voice back.

I want my innocence back.

I hear a knock at my door and snap my head towards it.

"Raine..." Toby calls, his voice hoarse. My breath catches in my throat as

mixed emotions fill me.

I want my brother because I want him to protect me from the memories. But
he had no right to say what he did. He went too far.

"Raine, I am so so so sorry. Please let me in."

I shake my head and bite my lip to keep from sobbing.

"Please, Raine..." he begs, tears in his voice, "I know you're fighting the
flashbacks. I don't want you to go through that alone just because I fucked
up."

I don't go to the door.

"I was out of line," he says through the door, "I should never have said that.
I know. I just...I worry about you so much,

Raine. I let it happen to you once and I never want to watch you go through
that again. Don't hate me, I love you."

I love him too.

I sniff and wipe my nose, slowly getting out of my bed. I pad to the door
and unlock it, quickly walking back towards my bed. I hear the door open
and he walks in, regret evident on his face. His eyes are red, and my heart
breaks a little at the realization that he must have been crying.

Siblings like us shouldn't be fighting. We're all the other has in terms of
family.

"Hey," he whispers, sitting on my bed.

I avoid his gaze.

"Raine...you don't have to forgive me for what I said. Hell, I wouldn't

forgive myself. I just...I just worry about you. I don't want what happened
with Warren to happen again. I can't see you like that again."

I slowly look up from my blanket,

"I know, Toby. But you can't rule my life."

He sighs and shakes his head, "I know, I know. It's hard for me to not take
on that overprotective role, especially with dad not here."

I frown and I feel my anger slowly slipping away.

"I know it's been hard for you without dad. It's been hard for me too, but
you're my brother. Not my dad."
"I guess I should stop trying to be both, huh?"

I offer him a small smile in response. He places his arm around my

shoulders, pulling me close for a side hug. "I love you."

"I love you too. I don't like arguing with you."

"I know, I don't like it either."

We stay like that for a little while before he talks into the silence. "I ordered
a pizza for dinner, by the way."

I chuckle and nod.

"Toby?"

He hums in response.

"I think you should give West a chance."

---

9/10/2020

- I edited this chapter a lot. West's whole explanation of juvie is altered

since I did more research to make this more realistic (hence the picture
attached to the chapter). I also altered her argument with Toby to fit the
situation better than him just not being there. I didn't like that part when I
read the book back. So, I hope you all enjoy the edits!
Chapter Eleven (Edited 9/14/2020)
The author behind the story ;)

9/14/2020 - I completely rewrote this chapter. So, for you RR's, I hope you
enjoy getting pretty much a new chapter! Get those inline comments back
up :) Silently Falling: Chapter Eleven

The next day, as I walk through the hallway, I can feel my exhaustion
catching up to me. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, my dreams
were consumed with memories of Warren. Every time his icy blue eyes
crossed my mind I would shoot up in a cold sweat. I doubt I got more than
two or three hours. I know it's because of Toby's slip-up in our argument,
but I'm not angry with him. He feels guilty enough for what he said, and he
ended up staying instead of heading to Tina's for their "project."

After I told him to give West a chance, the pizza he ordered conveniently
showed up and saved him from a response. He didn't let me revisit the
subject during dinner, but that may be a good thing. It could have sparked
another argument that I don't think I had the mental capacity to deal with.

Now I'm headed to my second class of the day. Toby couldn't meet me at his
locker because his first block teacher asked him to stay after and go over a
quiz he didn't do too well on, and Alyse had to leave Music early to go and
meet with our counselor about her schedule next year. I walk past some
freshmen glued to their phones, AirPods in and heads softly bobbing to
whatever beat their listening to.

I head to the stairwell to bring me upstairs to class, already running slightly

late. There aren't many people in the halls anymore, since we only have a
few minutes before class. I'm the only one in the stairwell.

"Raine."

At least I thought I was.

My skin jumps and then turns ice cold when I round the staircase and run
into Warren standing at the top, a chilling grin on his face. I can feel my
heart rate start to accelerate to dangerous speeds; so fast I can hear it and
worry he can see it through my chest.

I start backing down the steps, but Warren swiftly walks closer to me and I
stop out of fear.

"Ah, ah, ah. You aren't going anywhere."

I want to move. I want to run back down the steps. I want to get out of here.
But my feet are frozen under his chilling gaze.

"You seem to be getting rather close to West," he says, eyes narrowing.

"Teaching him sign language, really?"

My breath starts to get shaky the closer he gets to me. My mind starts
begging Toby, Tyler, or Gray to appear and help me.

"I sure hope you aren't getting close enough to expose our little secret," he
says lowly, threateningly.

He's so close I can smell his vile cologne. The same cologne he wore when
he was friends with Toby. When he attacked me.

"You tell him and I can

promise

you'll regret it."

His eyes travel down my body, and I can see the hunger taking him over.
He's next to me on the stairs, and I'm backed against the wall. We're face to
face, only he towers over me. Memories start to resurface, flashing across
my eyes so that Warren and I aren't at school anymore. We're in that room.
He's shoving me back towards the bed. I'm about to cry out for help, only to
have him on top of me with his hand covering my mouth to muffle my
screams.
"Raine!"

I barely register Tyler's voice and footsteps racing down the steps. It sounds
like an echo in my brain and I can't stop seeing the scene from that night.
Tears spring to my eyes, and I feel a few slip down my cheeks. Warren's
laugh does nothing to help.

"Warren, get the hell away from her!"

A hand on my arm pulling me behind a protective body finally snaps me

back to the present, and I see Tyler's back as he stands in front of me;
effectively blocking Warren. I see his muscles through his shirt. His body is
nearly shaking from anger.

"What the hell were you doing?" Tyler seethes.

"I was just leaving," Warren says, his voice like nails on a chalkboard to my
ears.

"You are such a coward. All big and mighty with Raine but now you run?"

"I'm not running, pretty boy." Warren says. "Raine and I were just having a
little...chat."

He walks around Tyler, who's back is stiff and fists clenched by his sides.
Warren catches my wide, scared eyes, and smirks.

"Don't forget my advice, Raine." He says before exiting the stairwell.

Once he's out of sight, Tyler spins to face me and gently places his hands on
my shoulders to get me to look at him. Only now do I realize that I'm
having a panic attack. I feel like I can't get enough air no matter how hard I
breathe. My heart is pounding out of my chest, so hard that it's incredibly
painful, and my head is starting to feel dizzy.

"Raine," Tyler says frantically. "Raine it's okay, he's gone."

But it's not working. Somehow, I think I'm getting worse. Why doesn't he
want me to tell West anything? Why does he assume I would want anyone
to know the horrible thing that happened to me?

"What's going on?" I hear a deep voice say, and I glance over to see West
walking towards us. "I saw Warren walk out of here and heard you, Tyler."

West catches my eye and jogs the last few steps to us, brows pulled together
in concern.

"Sunshine, are you okay?"

The concern in his voice puts some air back in my chest, helping me to
escape the vicious memories dancing around my head, but I'm still
struggling to control this panic attack.

"She's having a panic attack, go find Toby. He should be in room 703,"

Tyler rushes out. And when West keeps looking at me, he adds a frantic
"Now!"

West looks at him and then back in the direction Warren went, hands
clenching into fists for a few seconds before he rushes in the opposite
direction and towards the classroom.

"Hey, Raine, it's okay. Warren is gone," Tyler says softly. "Try and take
some deep breaths for me, okay?"

I try and do what he says, able to at least stop the tears. After a minute or
two of him gently coaching me through deep breaths, I begin to calm down.
I hear three sets of feet come running down the steps and then Gray, Toby,
and West appear.

"Sis," Toby breathes, rushing to me. "What happened?"

"Is she okay?" Gray asks.

"I don't know. I got here and Warren was talking to her," Tyler says, backing
up so that Toby can hug me.

Toby mutters a string of curse words under his breath and pulls me to him,
resting his chin on top of my head. I continue to calm myself down and
regulate my breathing, drinking in his familiar scent to rid the lingering
smell of Warren's cologne.

"You're okay now," he says softly.

I nod against his chest and we pull apart.

"I'm okay,"

I sign to reassure both him and myself.

"Thank you, Tyler."

Tyler nods at me, a small, reassuring smile lifting his lips. "When I got to
class and didn't see you there I wondered where you were. You're usually
pretty punctual."

I let out a deep sigh and my gaze diverts to the tiled floor.

"West, thanks man. For going and getting Toby," Tyler says to him.

When I catch West's gaze, my body jumps. But not nearly in the way it had
with Warren. I don't start panicking. West is watching me with calculating
eyes, and it seems as though he's caught up in his own thoughts. His
emotions change from worried, to confused, and then to anger before he
shields them from me.

He finally lets my gaze go when he shifts to Tyler. "Don't worry about it. I
should probably head to class, y'all should too. Sunshine, you're okay?"

I nod at him, offering a weak smile as some sort of assurance.

He nods and then starts on his way all the way down the stairs, stopping
before he reaches the door.

"Real quick, what type of car does Warren drive?"

The boys all glance at one another, and then Toby smirks slightly when he
looks back at West.
"A black Audi. License plate says 'BALLER'."

West snorts, muttering "of course." He nods his thank you and then the door
closes behind him with a satisfying click that echoes through the stairwell.

OoO

By the end of the day, I've fully calmed down. I texted Alyse to let her
know what happened and during lunch she makes her greatest attempt to
take my mind off of it. West never showed up at lunch. Now, the rest of us
are hanging out by Toby's truck in the parking lot discussing weekend plans
since the school day has ended.

"I think I may just stay in tonight," Toby admits. "You could all come over,
we could just chill and watch a movie or something."

"I actually think I'm headed to my sister's college for the weekend," Gray
says.

"I'm down," Tyler says, glancing my way. "As long as Raine agrees to
watch a horror movie."

I narrow my eyes at him,

"You know I hate horror movies."

He chuckles, "Yeah but it's always a treat to watch you cower behind me or
Toby."

"My vote is for-"

"A Hunger Games marathon?" Toby smirks, cutting Alyse off.

"I was going to say Divergent, actually." She huffs, crossing her arms.

Toby grins and rolls his eyes at her, "No you weren't."

"Raine, what do you want to watch?" Alyse asks, blushing and trying to
divert the conversation off of her because she knows Toby was right.
"I'm down for anything, other than horror."

Tyler lifts a hand to his chest, feigning hurt.

They start having an argument over what to watch tonight, and my eyes
begin to wander around the parking lot. I watch as the car-line begins to
build up since our crossing guard completely sucks when it comes to school
rush hour. Horns have started to blare as some students cut others off trying
to get further up in the standstill line.

Then I catch sight of a familiar leather jacket a few cars over, headed this
way. West's eyes meet mine the closer he gets, and his lips lift up in the
beginnings of a crooked smile.

"Hey, Sunshine.

" He signs as he reaches us.

"That is not going to I M P R E S S me. It's not my name."

"I think you secretly love the nickname." He hums with a smirk, looking
away from me and walking to the others.

I think you're secretly an idiot.

"West, hey man." Gray says, giving him a 'sup' nod.

Tyler does the same, but all my brother offers him is a curt nod. I look at
him and he meets my eyes. He sighs deeply, giving me a look; silently
agreeing to be civil with West today- to give him a chance.

"So, West, what are you plans for the weekend?" Alyse asks.

He shrugs, "Things."

"How detailed."

I sign, and I know West understood from the small smirk that lights his lips.
"Illegal things?" Tyler asks, gulping slightly.

West raises a brow at him and shakes his head. "No. I'd rather not go back
to juvie." He says. "What about y'all?"

"Well considering I've never been to juvie, I'd rather stay away." Tyler says.

I roll my eyes at him.

"He meant what are we doing this weekend."

"Oh," Tyler says with a sheepish smile towards me.

I notice West eye him for a second or two.

"Gray here decided to go to his sisters college and do the dirty with all her
friends." Alyse says, patting Gray on the back.

West nods, but seems distracted as he glances around the parking lot.
"Sounds...fun."

Then, a loud scream pulls all of our attention across the lot. I jump and shift
closer to Toby who reaches out a protective arm around my shoulders as we
pinpoint who the sound came from.

Warren.

He glares at all of us, and even from this far away I feel my skin start to
crawl under his stare. I look at his car behind him, and my eyes widen when
I notice all of his tires completely flat. West has a concealed smirk as he
watches Warren begin to storm towards us, face red with anger.

"Which one of you did it?" He seethes when he reaches us.

We glance at one another, and I see the boys barely able to hold back their
laughter but they all seem just as confused at me.

"Answer me!" Warren yells, causing me to jump and cower into Toby's side.
"Did what?" West asks casually.

Warren's fuming eyes turn to him, but he doesn't flinch despite being faced
with such anger.

"You!"

West raises a brow, "Care to elaborate?"

"Three of my tires were slashed!" He hollers.

Despite the situation being rather serious, I can tell the others are trying to
keep from laughing.

"Damn, you must have really pissed someone off then," West says,
narrowing his eyes as his voice drops.

Warren is breathing heavy from how angry he is, and then he suddenly
looks between me and West. My heart drops when I put together what he's
thinking; he thinks I spilled and told West what he did to me. That could
warrant someone slashing his tires.

Warren takes a step towards me, but West blocks him.

"Why don't you just walk away, Warren." He says, voice sounding
dangerous.

"Walk away?" Warren scoffs, shifting his attention right back to West.
"You've been out of juvie, what? Two weeks? I hope you enjoyed your time
because your about to go right back!"

"You threatening me?" West replies, meeting the challenge head on. His
arms are crossed, his eyes narrowed, and his head cocked menacingly.

Warren falters slightly, fear slipping into his gaze.

"So what if I am?" He says, but his voice doesn't come out as intimidating
as I know he's going for.
"I'm not a guy you want to piss off." West spits.

I wouldn't want to mess with him. If I saw him glaring this way at me, I
would high tail it outta here and buy myself a ticket to Mars.

Next to West...Warren looks scrawny.

"Neither am I," Warren replies. "The school has cameras."

West smirks, "On

this

end of the parking lot."

Warren's posture falls and he quickly turns to look at the school. West is
right. The only cameras in the parking lot point out here, right in front of
the office. Warren's Audi was parked off to the side.

"Y-you weren't at lunch!" Warren yells, sputtering to try and find some way
to pin this on West. "No one can account for where you were."

"I can."

Our heads shoot to Toby who steps up next to West, matching his height as
they both stare Warren down.

"He needed my help, his locker got jammed. Took us all of lunch to fix it."

Warren glances between the two of them, seeming to weigh his options.
Does he keep this fight going verbally? What else can he try and say?

"Nice try. I saw you at lunch," Warren spits to Toby.

Tyler and Gray instantly step up as well, crossing their arms over their
muscled chests.

"I didn't. I heard he was with West." Gray says.

"Me either, heard the locker was really jammed," Tyler adds lowly.

Warren takes a small step back, clearly intimidated and running out of
options. My heart pounds harder and faster at the situation, amazed at
what's happening in front of me. Toby blatantly lied to protect West, not
knowing if he really slashed Warren's tires or not.

"You better watch your back, West," Warren seethes before turning and
storming away.

The guys stay in their stiff stances until he gets far enough away, and then
everyone can relax. They all turn back towards me and Alyse, who is, for
once, speechless. That part isn't so rare for me.

"Holy shit, West I can't believe you slashed his tires," Tyler laughs, friendly
slapping West's back.

"Who says I did?"

Tyler's laughter gets cut short and his eyes widen as he glances back
towards Warren's car, sputtering around for a response.

"I-I just sort of assumed since he was so adamant you did, a-and you
weren't actually at your locker and you asked what kind of car Warren
drove and-"

"I don't remember him asking that."

I sign, lightly smacking Tyler's chest first to cut him off.

West is able to keep up with my signs and smiles at me when he

comprehends. I smile back but have to look away when a random blush
threatens my cheeks.

"Whoever did, we owe them a thanks," Toby says. "Seeing him so

pissed...that was awesome."

Everyone begins to chuckle, allowing the stress from that situation to

slowly melt away.
"The vein on his forehead even popped out,"

I sign.

"Oh yeah, I thought it was going to burst!" Alyse laughs.

"West, man, when you called him out about the cameras I thought he was
going to shit his pants!" Gray says.

West chuckles and shrugs, "Any ex-con learns where cameras are, just in
case they get blamed for something like this."

In awe, I watch as Toby smiles at West.

"The rest of us, minus Gray, are going to hang tonight at our place. You in?"

West seems slightly shocked from the forward invitation from Toby.

"Count me in."

Alyse and Toby start to load into his truck, and Tyler and Gray head to their
own cars, but West hangs back and I walk closer to him, trying to be out of
a perfect view for Toby or Alyse to eavesdrop.

"Thank you."

West cocks his head, a gentle smirk reaching his eyes. "So adamant I did it,
huh?"

I shrug, not knowing what to say. Whether he did it or not, he handled

Warren just then.

"Even if you didn't, thank you for D E A L I N G with him."

I sign, still needing to spell certain words since our lesson was cut short
yesterday.

"Don't think I did that for you, Sunshine." He winks, his lazy smirk back in
place.
I roll my eyes at him.

West chuckles, "Raine." He says, and I look back up at him.

"You're welcome."

I crack a small smile.

"I'd say I'm really getting the hang of this whole sign language thing. I
should become an interpreter." He decides.

I raise a brow and smirk. Someone is getting ahead of himself.

"Really? An interpreter? I heard they actually don't make much money, I

wanted to be one for a while. But then I looked up the annual salary and
cringed. Not for me, but hey maybe the delinquent can be the interpreter for
some jail somewhere!"

I sign it all even quicker than what my friends would be able to read, and I
can't contain my laughter at West's reaction.

He's staring at my hands as if he's a deer and they are headlights. His lips
begin to form the word 'what?' but then they go back to a straight line as his
brows furrow together. Then he shakes his head and stares at them some
more, only this time his lips lift into a smirk.

"Imagine what else you could do with those hands." He suggests, his eyes
lifting to meet mine.

I gape at him, but he only laughs and heads on his way to his Jeep.

"I'll see you tonight, Sunshine."

---

9/14/2020 - Okay, man I really rewrote this entire chapter haha. I have a
small idea of how I want to "alter" a small part of the plot later on, so I
changed this to help the idea of that. I hope you guys liked this edit! I think
it helped with Toby's approval of West and the mystery of how he seems to
maybe have some sort of past with Warren....
Chapter Twelve (Edited 9/17/2020)
I can't believe we've reached 1.2K views! If only we could get to that many
votes :) Keep the comments and votes flowing ;) Every single comment I
read makes writing this book worth it, please keep commenting ❤️

9/17/2020

- This chapter is now really, really long. I didn't want to add a whole new
chapter, so I just added a scene to this one that honestly could be its own
part. So for those of you that like long chapters, here you go! ALSO:
attached cover is from @basicbxtchrepellent

:)

---

Silently Falling: Chapter Twelve

Once West walks away, leaving me scowling that he once again got the last
word, I get into the back seat of Toby's truck with Alyse. The passenger seat
stays empty, which is actually pretty normal since Alyse and I like to tease
Toby about how he's practically our Uber

driver.

Toby turns to face us, eyes narrowed since neither of us sat in the front with
him.

"If one of you says some silly ass name-"

"Thank you Uber driver, I'll be sure to give you 5 stars," Alyse cuts him off
with a triumphant grin.

I nearly snort and hide my smile behind my hand. Toby shifts his brown
eyes to her, and even though I can tell he wants to come off as annoyed and
pissed, all I can see is the admiration in his gaze and the way he's trying to
bite back a grin.

"Alyse?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to walk home?"

"Now that is

not

the way to get a 5 star review," she replies, childishly sticking out her
tongue.

Toby gives up and with a huff turns back around and starts the truck,
muttering something under his breath. Alyse blushes slightly from their cute
interaction, and I watch the way she discreetly covers her giddy grin and
looks out the window.

I tap her shoulder so that she'll look at me and smirk.

"How cute. Could you be any more in love?"

She quickly covers up my hands with her own, eyeing Toby's back to check
and see if he was looking at us while I signed what I did.

"I will kill you," she whispers with wide eyes, then quickly changes the
subject. "So, do you guys think West did it?"

"Who else would have?"

Toby is able to read my signs through the rear view mirror since we are now
caught in the line of cars waiting to pull out onto the main road.

"She's right. The only others who would have would be me, Ty, and Gray.
And we clearly didn't."
"Is he going to get in trouble?"

I ask, an odd feeling of worry washing over me.

Toby shakes his head, "No. We told Warren I was with West during lunch,
and I won't back off on that alibi if Warren does try and press charges."

"You'd do that for him?"

Toby reads the signs through the mirror again and I hear him sigh slightly
and he turns around to catch my eye.

"Look, any guy who does that to defend my little sister is a guy I guess I
should give a chance to. Plus, I don't want Warren to win in this situation at
all."

My worry slips away and I smile at Toby, who still seems hesitant on the
whole West thing, but offers a small smile in return before turning back
around. I just now hope that Warren will let this go and get new tires and
leave it at that.

"His dad is a pretty good lawyer..." Alyse says, trailing off when she
realizes the direction her statement could lead.

How Warren got away with raping me.

"Insurance will cover it anyway, I doubt he'll do anything drastic with all of
us to back up West."

"Now the real question," Alyse starts, "Why'd West do it?"

That gives me pause. Because she's right. I was so caught up in the fact it
happened that I never stopped to question why West did it. It would make
sense if it had been the work of any of the guys who know what Warren did
to me, but West doesn't even know Warren, much less my history with him.
So why slash his tires if he literally only walked in to see Tyler consoling
me?
"He realized Warren is a dick," Toby says with a shrug, moving up in the
car line.

"Why? Because he caught the tail-end of what happened this morning with
Raine? I'm not trying to downplay it, we

know how much Warren talking to you effected you, but West doesn't."

Toby glances at her through the rear view mirror, and I notice his brows
furrow and lips purse together in thought.

"She's right. I didn't stop to think about why he defended you."

"Maybe he already knows Warren. They could have some sort of history."

"That could be it, he didn't like him from the beginning," Toby says.

"Yeah, but Warren clearly doesn't know him. He came over to introduce
himself as though they were just meeting for the first time..." Alyse says.

I furrow my brow. I had forgotten about that.

"Well, maybe that was just an act on Warren's part," Toby says with a shrug
as he inches down the line of cars.

"Or,"

Alyse starts, smirking at me, "West wanted to be Raine's Prince Charming

and come to her rescue after seeing her so shaken up this morning."

Toby slams on the brakes, and even though we weren't going over 10 MPH,
Alyse and I lurch forward. I throw my hand out to prevent my face from
slamming into the back of Toby's seat and I send a glare at Alyse.

"'Prince Charming?'"

He guffaws, "Alyse, are you insinuating that West has a-a

thing
for Raine?"

She shrugs, "I'm insinuating that I think something is going to happen

between them because he's showing interest in her and only her."

"He is not showing interest in me! He asked me to teach him sign language,
that's an interest in ASL."

I sign, giving Alyse an unbelievable look.

"That's what you think."

"You've just been watching too many cheesy rom-coms."

Toby narrows his eyes and turns to face us, "Yeah, Alyse when was the last
time you watched 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?'"

"What does that have to do with anything?" She asks defensively.

"Because every time you watch it you start becoming a hopeless romantic
and make up scenarios for everyone."

"I do not!"

"Alyse, last time you watched it you swore that Tina and Tyler were going to
be together forever. Then she slept with Gray."

"That was

one

time."

"Last year when you watched it, you were convinced that Raine and Kyle
would ride off into the sunset together," Toby deadpans. "She broke up with
him a week later."

"Okay! I hate to burst your bubble, but I haven't seen it in the last month,"
she says, crossing her arms and looking away.
Toby and I keep staring at her, and she finally looks at the two of us and lets
out a huff.

"Okay! Fine! I watched it last night.

But,

that's not why I suspect West is into Raine. Who would come up with a
nickname like 'Sunshine' if he wasn't at least slightly interested?"

Toby turns back around to pull ahead since the cars behind us started
honking, choosing to ignore anything else Alyse may say on the matter.

---

We ended up not dropping Alyse off at home since everyone is going to be

here later tonight anyways. Now it's close to 7 o'clock, the time we all
decided to meet up in the group chat that West had the honor of being added
to earlier today. I guess his little stunt on Warren really made the others feel
like he can officially be a part of our group. But I still want to know why he
did it.

Even if he is showing interest in me, I find it hard to believe that simply

seeing me shaken up would be enough of a reason to commit a
misdemeanor and slash someone's tires. He didn't even know for certain
that Warren was the one to do it since he got to the stairwell after Warren
had left.

Does West have a history with Warren that we don't know about?

Snapping me out of my thoughts, I hear the front door open and Tyler and
Gray come inside.

"Gray? I thought you were headed to-" Alyse starts.

"Sister called, said not to come. Her roommate is sick with a high fever, so
the party weekend is no more," he mutters, seemingly heartbroken.

"So sorry for your loss," Alyse mumbles.

Tyler has a pack of beer with him, tossing it to Toby as he walks downstairs
to meet them. He raises a brow at Tyler as he catches it.

"I can't go a Friday night without at least getting tipsy," Tyler laughs, "We're
seniors! We don't have a lot of Friday nights left in high school."

Toby shrugs and brings it to the kitchen, placing it in the fridge after
grabbing one for himself, Tyler, and Gray. That's when the doorbell rings
again, and Tyler swings it open to reveal West.

"Aye! West, you made it! Come on in, man," Tyler says, stepping aside.
"Welcome to the Winters's house."

West shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on one of the hooks next to the door.

"Thanks, Ty. I've been here before, though."

Tyler looks over at me confusedly from my position snuggled into the

corner of our sectional couch.

"I'm teaching him ASL, remember?"

"Oh, right. I forgot," Tyler says, turning his attention to Toby as he tosses
Tyler his beer.

Alyse nudges my arm,

"Here comes your Prince Charming."

I scowl at her, nudging her harder as West walks into the living room. She
laughs, gently throwing a pillow at me.

"Payback is a bitch, huh?"

She signs, referring to earlier when I brought up her crush on Toby right in
front of him. Well, technically behind him.

I catch West's gaze and he sends me a smile.

"Sunshine, good to see you."

"Did you forget the sign for my name?"

I sign slowly so that he can catch it.

He comprehends after a second or two and chuckles, taking the seat next to
me. "I just signed it, clearly I didn't."

I cross my arms over my chest with an angry pout, sinking into the couch
when I catch Alyse's smirking eyes as she mouths 'he is SO into you,' before
standing up and heading to the kitchen to find Toby.

"Hey, Raine-"

"Oh, so you do know my name."

I sign quickly, cutting West off. Thankfully the signs aren't hard to keep up
with.

He chuckles but moves past that.

"Are you okay?" He asks in a gentle yet serious tone.

I furrow my brow, about to ask why, but he clarifies.

"You were really shaken up earlier today," he says, keeping my gaze stuck
on his.

"I'm okay."

He reads my hands and then looks back at me, eyes taking on a serious
tone.

"What did Warren say that had you so freaked out?"

My breath gets caught in my throat from the forward question that I

suppose I should have seen coming. I know my eyes slightly widen, and I
swallow back the lump in my throat as I think through what to say.
Thankfully, I'm saved when the others come back into the living room with
snacks and drinks in hand. I catch Alyse's eye and she nods at me, clearly
having heard West's question and coming to my rescue.

"West, do you mind going to grab the last bowl of chips in the kitchen?"
She asks as she starts to set down everything in her hands onto the coffee
table.

He looks at her and then back at me rather curiously.

"Sure," he finally says, smiling briefly at her before heading to the kitchen.

Tyler plops down on the couch where West had been, right next to me, and
sends me a wide smile as he throws his arms around the back of the couch.

"I convinced the others to watch a horror movie," he says.

My eyes widen and I shove him, causing him to laugh and wince back,
protectively pulling his arms to his side.

"Ouch, Raine," he laughs, and then puts his arm around my shoulders in a
friendly gesture. "I was only kidding, we agreed to watch a comedy."

I eye him carefully to make sure he isn't joking with me, and he laughs
again, placing his other hand up in surrender.

"I swear, we aren't watching horror," then he gets a little more serious and
his voice lowers, "I figured you didn't need anything like that after earlier
today."

I look down at my lap and fiddle with my fingers, wishing that something
as simple as talking to Warren wouldn't have this much of an effect on me.

"Thank you for being there for me today,"

I sign with a small smile.

He pulls me in for a side hug with the arm around me, and my head tucks
into his shoulder as he softly squeezes my arm. "I'm just sorry I didn't get
there a little sooner."

I think nothing of the hug. I'm pretty much leaning on him since my legs are
tucked up on the couch as I sit partially on my side, temple resting on
Tyler's shoulder.

I've always seen Tyler as one of my closest friends, and small gestures like
this I know don't mean anything. He has always been protective of me, so
have Gray and Toby. I may see him in less of a brotherly way and in more
of a best friend way as opposed to the other two, but never more. I figure he
doesn't either since he sleeps around so much, so I don't overthink when we
have close contact like this, and I know he doesn't either.

We pull apart as everyone takes their seats. Gray and Toby sit in the two
recliners, and Alyse sits on the love-seat part of the sectional couch. Since
I'm in the corner of the couch, with Tyler on my right, Alyse leaves enough
room for someone to sit on the other side of me.

All of the sudden I feel a familiar gaze on me, driving a shock through my
body. I look over and see West walking into the living room with the bowl
of chips and a few waters in hand, staring at Tyler and me through
unreadable eyes. He quickly looks away, his cool expression back on as he
places the bowl of chips down on the table.

"I grabbed some waters, hope that's okay," he says as he takes the empty
seat Alyse intentionally left next to me.

"It's okay if one is for me."

I sign, but West can't keep up and stares blankly at my hands.

"Uh..."

"She said it's okay if one is for her," Tyler interprets, taking a swig of his
beer.

I scrunch my nose up at the smell of it. In the very back of my mind, it

alludes to that night with Warren who reeked of cheap beer, but I've gotten
used to the scent since the boys get drunk nearly every weekend.

"Maybe, if she says please," West smirks, glancing at me.

"I can't

say

anything."

West comprehends and grimaces, but everyone else chuckles. They're used
to me making dark humored jokes about being mute- er, vocally challenged.

West hands me the water bottle and I smile triumphantly, opening it and
taking a sip. He offers one to everyone else to, and everyone grabs one with
a small thanks. Toby goes ahead to Netflix and starts the movie, and not ten
minutes in Tyler starts fidgeting.

"Okay, I had two beers, West gave me like three bottles of water, and now I
have got to take a piss," he says sheepishly.

He stands up, effectively removing his arm from around my shoulder and
making me slightly sit up. From the corner of my eye, I notice West's smirk.

"Ty, dude, come on. We just started the movie!" Gray mutters.

"I have to go! Please pause it," he begs.

"Don't break the seal so quickly," Toby advises.

"Yeah, Tyler, hold it or else you'll be taking a bathroom break every twenty
minutes." Alyse says.

"I

have been

holding it
for the last five minutes! I can't last much longer."

Toby dramatically pauses the movie and glares at Tyler.

"Okay, go Ty. I'll give you thirty seconds, if you aren't back we are playing
it."

West shifts his position a little, placing his feet on the coffee table and
letting his head relax into the cushions with a small sigh. I quirk a brow at
him, and he glances up at me.

"What?"

"Comfy?"

I sign a little sarcastically.

He smirks, "I'd be more comfy if you came closer."

I notice Toby stiffen from his recliner, eyeing West now that Alyse brought
a potential interest to his attention, and I swear I hear her stifle a squeal
from the other end of the couch.

I roll my eyes and smack West in the chest with a pillow, causing him to
chuckle and snatch it from me, holding it comfortably in his arms.

"This could be you," he says smoothly, eyes lit with mischief.

"Okay, it's been thirty seconds, I'm starting it again," Toby grumbles,
quickly pressing play to cut off any more conversation between me and
West.

Tyler comes running back seconds after Toby presses play, practically
leaping onto the couch next to me so that he doesn't miss anything.
However, this time I don't cuddle up to him.

OoOoO
The rest of the weekend went by as usual. The movie was good, and
afterwards everyone left except for Tyler who had decided to drink a few
more beers and wasn't in the best shape to drive home. West offered to, but
Tyler was already asleep by the time it was time for everyone to leave, so
we left him on the couch.

Now it's back to Monday, and the day went by boring per usual. Before
West left on Friday, we decided to have a lesson today after school. Alyse
overheard, or over-watched I guess, and when West left she instantly told
me I should use it as a way to see if he has some sort of history with
Warren.

I walk out of my last block class, my backpack pulled around to my front so

that I can zip it up. I hadn't been looking at the clock, so I was utterly
surprised when the bell rang to signal the end of the day. I packed my things
as quick as I could and bolted out of my classroom.

I start to move my backpack to it's normal place behind my back when I see
West leaning against the wall just next to the door. When he sees me, he
pushes off the wall and walks towards me.

"You L O S T? Parking lot is D O W N S T A I R S, not up here."

I sign slowly with a small smirk.

He smiles after comprehending, "Sunshine with the wittiness. I like it."

I roll my eyes and start to walk down the hall with him following. "Toby
stopped me after third block and said he had to be somewhere after school,
so I offered to drive his dear sister home since we have a lesson."

I raise a brow.

"And he said yes?"

"Seems he's changed his mind about hating me," West shrugs.

He's not wrong. Toby really is giving West a solid chance now. First he
defends him against Warren, then he invites him over to hang out with all of
us, and now he seems to trust him enough to let us be at the house alone.

We head down the hall to the stairwell, West falling into step next to me,
and I take a moment to glance at his lack of a leather jacket.

In it's place is nothing but a short sleeve, white v-neck with a pair of black
aviators hanging off the collar. He's wearing jeans as he always is, but in
replace of the boots are a pair of maroon Converse. His shirt fits his frame
perfectly, just tight enough around his arms to show off his muscles, and I
try not to stare too long. West is definitely not lacking in the muscle
department, and even though I'm used to the guys who all are pretty much
jacked, I have to force my eyes away from West. But not before eyeing the
tattoo on his wrist.

Strength

"Sunshine, do I have to get your phone out for you so that you can take a
picture?" West asks, and my eyes trail up to his face holding his ever so
famous smirk.

I look away as a blush threatens to rise on my cheeks. God dammit I was

staring.

We finally reach the parking lot and head to his Jeep, and he opens the back
to throw his backpack, holding his hand out so that I'll give him mine too. I
smile gratefully and hand it to him. He shuts the door once putting it inside,
and even opens my door for me. I am taken aback, and he notices my
surprise.

"Like I said, delinquents have manners too. Plus, this door gets stuck and
can be hard to open," he grunts the last part as he tugs hard on it, and it
opens with a clicking sound that is definitely not natural for a car to make.

"She's a little old, but she treats me well," he says as he stands on the side of
the door, hands resting on top.

I chuckle as I get inside,

"She?"

He closes it with a little force so that it'll shut, going around to his own side.

"Black Betty," he says as he gets in.

I start to laugh, staring at him in laughable question.

"Don't judge, everyone names their first car."

I stare silently.

"You mean to tell me Toby didn't name his truck?"

I shrug, I don't think he has.

West blinks and then places the keys in the ignition, muttering how it's
normal under his breath. As soon as he starts it up, the speakers start blaring
music at full blast. I jump in my seat, my heart rate spiking from surprise.

West grabs the dial and turns it nearly all the way down, "Sorry Sunshine, I
was listening pretty loudly this morning."

I pull out my phone to type my response, choosing not to make him read
my hands since he still doesn't know a whole lot.

'Was that The Eagles?'

He reads it over and nods, "Yeah, they are one of my favorites. You like
them?"

'My dad loves them, he used to play them every night while he cooked
dinner.'

An impressed smile fills West's lips and his brows shoot up in approval.

"Good man," he says.

I divert my gaze to the floor. Is he a good man? He took over when my
mom died, but then he pretty much up and left us. I barely see him
anymore, so I don't know if that title still applies to him.

West notes my change in demeanor and speaks up to get me out of my head.

"What's your favorite song?"

I bite my lip in contemplation and look down to see the CD case in the cup
holder between us. I reach down and take it, glancing over the list of songs.
When I spot my favorite, I reach over to the car radio and flip through the
songs until I hear it.

West perks up once it comes on and he glances down at me. "

Victim Of Love

, eh?"

I nod my head to the music and to answer his question.

"Not my all time favorite, but definitely one of them." West says, reaching
over to turn it up slightly.

Then he starts singing along, and I swear my eyes bulge out of their sockets
and my jaw hits the floor.

West Love can

sing.

His voice carries the tune effortlessly as his hands drum on the steering
wheel. I don't know what I was expecting his voice to sound like, not that I
was expecting him to sing at all, but I wouldn't have guessed it to sound
so...amazing.

His voice has a slight rasp to it, and I can tell he is barely trying. He's
singing simply for the joy of it, not to hit every note perfectly as he's doing.
If anything he's singing absentmindedly. He bobs his head along to the beat,
his hands pounding on the steering wheel with every drum beat. He checks
his side mirrors and switches lanes, the whole time never losing the tune.
He starts to instead hum along as he merges, and when he gets onto my
street he starts to sing again.

The song ends and the next comes on, but since we are only three houses
from mine he turns it off.

"

You...can sing

." I sign dumbfoundedly.

He glances at me a little weirdly and nods. "Yep."

"

And, like, really well

."

He smirks, "Is my voice making you fall for me?"

I scoff, crossing my arms.

"As if."

Just like that, the awe that was associated with his singing voice turns into
aggravation.

"You'll admit it sooner or later." He hums as we pull into my driveway.

"Maybe in your dreams.

"
"Dreams can come true." He winks.

We both get out and walk up the steps on my front porch. I unlock my front
door and we step inside. I waste no time and get right into our lesson, and it
goes for an hour or so. As we finish up, I recall Alyse telling me to use this
as an opportunity to dig into West's potential past with Warren.

'So, how come you hate Warren so much?'

I write on my whiteboard.

West reads it over and I watch as his eyes narrow slightly and he shifts in
his seat.

"The guys seem to hate him, and I got bad vibes."

"That's all?"

West nods, not offering me any more of an explanation. But from his
reaction to the initial question, I don't believe that's all there is to the story.
But, I understand not wanting to dive into your history with Warren, so I
don't try to pry further.

"If we're going to start asking questions, I have a few."

I glance at him and gesture for him to go ahead.

"I know you said your dad isn't around a whole lot, when was the last time
you saw him?"

I'm taken aback by his question and I look away, picking at the couch
cushions before answering.

"A few weeks."

"Damn," West says, "When will you see him again?"

I shrug, avoiding eye contact.

"That's got to be tough," West says gently. "It really is just you and Toby,
huh?"

I nod,

"Pretty much."

"Is that why you got upset earlier in the Jeep?" He asks.

I glance at him, getting stuck under his inquisitive gaze, and nod. His
expression softens, as if understanding my pain.

'He won't be winning The Best Dad Award anytime soon.'

I write with a sad smile.

West reads it and looks back at me with the same understanding gaze.

"Looks like we've got that in common."

However, he doesn't even give me time to write a response and turns the
conversation back on me.

"Are you close with him at all, then?"

'

He calls every now and then, and sometimes visits. And he pays the bills, so
I guess he does everything he's required to do.'

West doesn't answer me and I look up at him. His eyes are on me, the deep
brown filled with unanswered questions. The intensity of his gaze causes
my breath to get caught in my throat and I quickly look down.

"When did he move to New York?" He asks.

"When I was twelve."

I sign, my eyes staying on the couch.

"Twelve?" West asks in disbelief.

I nod, "

That's why Toby and I are so close. He kinda raised me.

" I sign with a small shrug.

"No wonder you've turned out as you have." West says, leaning back
against the couch with a small smirk to lighten the mood.

I gape, but I can't hold back my small smile and I lightly kick him.

He chuckles, "I'm just kidding."

I shake my head at him and let out a small breath of air that could be
considered a laugh. "

You seem to kid a lot."

"Only with my friends." He says.

"So we're friends?"

He glances at me and his smirk matches mine. He leans over towards me,
his body hovering over mine. I press myself as far into the couch as I can go
to create some space between us.

"Unless you would like to be more." He says huskily, his smirk reaching his
eyes as he leans down closer to me. His warm breath fans across my face
and I can smell the mint on his breath and cologne on his clothes.

"Best friends?"

I sign with a hopeful smile.

He stares at me for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing. He sits
back on his own cushion and shakes his head at me.

"You're funny, Sunshine." He comments, his laughter now reduced to a few

chuckles.

I smile and shrug,

"I try."

He smiles back and I cock my head.

"You know, you aren't as bad as everyone says.

" I sign.

His smile drops and he looks away. "Believe what you want, Sunshine."

---

9/17/2020 - Okay, good lord that took me all day to edit lol. I hope you guys
are liking and appreciating the edits! Let me know what you think of them :)
Chapter Thirteen (NEW as of
9/27/2020)
Yes, this is a brand new chapter. I was going to add it to the original Chap.
13, but it ended up being wayyyy too long. I figured it was easiest just to
make this its own chapter :)

So, nearly 5 years after I first wrote this book, here is a brand new chapter.

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirteen

West and I finished our lesson right around six, and once he left I went to
the kitchen to start cooking for Toby and myself. It may not be Tuesday, but
tacos are calling my name and they are extremely simple to make. And a
short thirty minutes later, I have the meat cooked, the tortillas warmed, and
the salsa, cheese, and sour cream out on the counter for Toby and I to spoon
onto our tacos as we please. As if on queue, Toby comes back from
wherever he was just as I turn off the stovetop.

"It smells absolutely delicious in this house, and I am absolutely starving,"

he calls out from the entrance.

I hear as he struggles to take off his shoes, small grunts echoing down the
hallway as he no doubt tries to squeeze them off without untying the laces.
As I hear one loudly hit the wall, I picture him accidentally shooting it off
of his feet and launching it forward, and it makes me silently chuckle.

"Taco Tuesd- wait, it's Monday, sis. Tacos on a Monday?"

I turn towards him, noting that his styled hair is definitely no longer styled,
and shrug as I carefully set down our plates next to the homemade taco bar.

"There's no rulebook that says we can't."

He grins at me, running over and messing up my hair before loading half of
the meat onto his single tortilla that he puts way too much faith in to hold
up the burrito he's about to create.

"You are correct. We don't have any parents here to tell us what we can and
can't cook."

Reaching for my plate, I begin making my own burrito and ignore the pit
that forms in my stomach from his comment. We

don't

have any parents here, and that's not right. We lost our mother, but we still
have a father who should be here for us.

"Thank you for making dinner, Raine. I appreciate it," Toby says as he goes
towards the island, pulling out a barstool with one hand while carefully
balancing the plate with his overstuffed burrito on the other.

As we eat, we are both caught off guard by Toby's phone beginning to buzz
on the granite countertop. With taco sauce all over his hands, and sour
cream dotting his chin, he glances at me to answer his phone. I quirk a
brow.

"If that's not a FaceTime call, I can't exactly answer it."

He reads my hands and quickly chews his last few bites, swallowing hard
before licking the sauce off of his fingers and wiping his chin with the back
of his hand, then transferring that filth to his shirt. Reaching over, he snags
his phone before the call can end and flips the screen to face him. His body
freezes as he reads the contact, brows furrowing before breaking into a
smile.

"It's dad!"

My heart skips a beat, and instead of relief and excitement, I feel anxious
and almost...angry. He hasn't called in nearly a week, but one random call
should make us happy?
"Dad!" Toby says as the connection strengthens and our dad pops up on his
phone screen.

Our dad looks more like Toby than me, but only in facial features. His hair
is nothing like Toby's, since it is silver color, his blonde hair slowly
morphing into gray. Not to mention his hair is long enough to flow down to
the base of his neck, and he has a styled beard to complete the look. If you
didn't notice their identical noses and smile, you wouldn't know he was
Toby's dad.

He and I share no similarities.

"Toby! How are you, son?" He asks, deep voice chipper with no sense of
guilt for this being his first time contacting us in seven days.

"I'm doing great, Raine just cooked some mean tacos," he says.

"I can see that from the salsa on your nose," dad chuckles.

His laugh tugs on my heart strings as I recall the nights he used to be in this
kitchen dancing around while cooking for us, laughing as Toby and I poked
fun at his awful dance moves.

"Where is Raine?"

Toby shifts the phone and scoots closer to me so that the both of us are in
the frame, and I see my dads face light up when he sees me. My heart gets
tugged a little more, and my smile forms naturally when he signs

"There's my beautiful daughter."

"Hi dad."

"How are you, sweetheart?

"I'm good, still hungry."

He tilts his head, "I thought you made tacos?"

"Yeah, and Toby ate nearly all the meat."

Toby reads my signs and nudges me, "Did not."

Dad chuckles again, and I watch as Toby gleams with pride. He cherishes
these phone calls with dad, and I know he talks to him a lot more than I do.
There will be some nights I hear him on the phone with him, telling him
about his day.

"Well, I won't keep you two, but I wanted to call and let you know that I'm
going to be flying home for a few days next week."

"Really?" Toby exclaims, snatching the phone closer to him out of

excitement.

"Of course, I've been gone too long and things at the office should slow
down for a few days next week."

Toby and him continue their conversation, and I pick at the remnants of my
burrito, being sure to smile and nod every time Toby points the camera in
my direction. But, I can't ignore the fact that I'm not nearly as excited as
Toby. I'm happy to see my dad, I know that I'm lucky that he's still in my
life, even if it's just barely. But I harbor resentment for him up and leaving
us like he did. Right when I needed him the most.

OoO

I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't keep thoughts of my parents out of
my head. I kept dreaming of what life would be like if my mom hadn't died,
or if my dad hadn't left Toby and I to live in New York 70% of the time. As
hard as I tried to keep those thoughts away, they kept forcing their way into
my dreams.

I don't want to dream about something that will never happen. It's false
hope.

So, as Toby and I drive to school with Alyse, I try my best to hide my
exhaustion. Toby doesn't notice, still exhilarated from the news Dad gave us
last night. He has been talking Alyse's ear off about how Dad is coming to
stay for a few days, outlining some of the stuff he plans on doing with him.
I stay out of it, staring silently out the window while unconsciously fiddling
with my mothers necklace around my neck. Alyse doesn't notice my lack of
excitement, too caught up in the fact Toby is pouring out his entire weekend
plan to her that for once doesn't consist of other girls.

I fiddle the small charm, feeling the rough grooves of the diamond on the
pads of my fingers. I roll it around my thumb, picturing my mother once
doing the same thing. Her necklace survived the car crash, only the chain
needing mending. The found it buried under the broken glass. It must have
been ripped off of her neck during the collision when the tractor trailer
barreled into her side of the car.

If she was still here, she wouldn't have let dad leave us for weeks on end. If
she was still here, he may have wanted to stay.

I snap out of my thoughts as Toby pulls aggressively into his parking spot,
slamming on the brakes and hopping out of the truck while still talking a
mile a minute to Alyse. I shake my head and let the charm drop down to its
place on my neck, getting out of the truck to be greeted by Tyler and Gray.

"Good morning, Raine. You look beautiful as always," Gray says kindly.

Tyler helps me down from Toby's slightly lifted truck, delicately taking my
hand with a cheeky grin.

"You do look a little tired though," he says as I let go of his hand.

Gray smacks his shoulder, "Come on, Ty. You'd think from the amount of
girls you've been with that you'd understand not to tell a girl she looks
tired."

I wave it off when Tyler spins back to face me with puppy dog eyes and a
giant pout, stopping his apology before it can start. That's when I catch sight
of West from further down the parking lot, hiking his backpack onto his
shoulder as he steps out of his old Jeep, throwing the banged up door shut
afterwards. He can't even take two steps before Tina is at his side, standing
way too close, and I scowl. I cross my arms over my chest without
realizing, trying to tear my eyes away from the two of them as Toby and
Alyse walk around the truck to greet Tyler and Gray.

"Our Dad called last night," Toby announces proudly to them.

I roll my eyes and prepare for his long, excited proclaim of everything he
has planned for the two of them when his plane lands. However, when I
glance back towards where West and Tina are, I notice that it's now just
him, and he's staring right at me. When we make eye contact, his lips curve
into his signature smile and he changes his course from school to me. He's
wearing dark navy denim jeans, a few fashion-statement rips in the thigh,
with a long sleeve gray shirt overtop, and his dog-tag chain around his neck.

"Hey Sunshine."

I playfully roll my eyes at the nickname, though I have to admit it's starting
to grow on me.

"Are you going to use my real name some day?"

He smirks at me and ignores the question, tuning into Toby's story.

"Wait, your dad is back?" He asks.

"He'll be back some time next week for a few days," Toby states, happy to
start his story over yet again.

I glance at my phone to check the time, noting that we need to get moving if
we don't want to be late, and start walking towards the building with the
group. As we walk, I feel a cool gaze stuck on me and tilt my head up. West
is watching me, looking at Toby and nodding every few seconds to show
he's still listening, but his focus seems settled on me.

Thankfully, when we get inside Toby, Tyler, and Gray have to go the
opposite direction as me and I can finally be free of hearing how excited
Toby is to 'go out to dinner with dad' and 'finally catch up on the last season
of Survivor all weekend.'

I know I should be happy like Toby. With what little time I get to spend
with Dad, I should be thrilled to get to see him next week. But...I'm not. I
can't help it. I can't help the feeling of being abandoned and the anger that
he just happens to fly back every now and then and expects us to welcome
him with open arms and happy smiles. Because that's exactly what he
expects every time.

"That's awesome that your dad is flying home, Raine," Alyse says as she
walks with me and West. "You haven't seen him in a week or two, right?"

I can't be annoyed with her for being caught up in Toby's excitement. She
doesn't know any better.

"I can't wait,"

I sign, smiling at her.

"Seems like it," West chirps from the other side of me.

Alyse, upon realizing West is walking with us, glances at me with a

mischievous grin. "Well, since we don't have music today I think I'll take a
short cut to class and leave you two be to talk about stuff. You know, how
you're both single and-"

I smack her arm with much more force than I probably needed to, but it
shuts her up. She flinches, but it doesn't stop her grin.

"Bye!" She quickly bolts down the next hallway, grinning at me over her
shoulder. I swear.

"So, Sunshine, with Toby talking my ear off you didn't really get a chance
to input about your dad coming back. You excited?"

No.

"Of course I am, he's my dad."

I sign, but realize he probably couldn't fully comprehend it, so I grab my
phone and type it out.

He takes my phone as I hand it to him and quickly reads it over.

"You don't seem super excited."

"I am. This is a good thing."

Even I know that my sign isn't very convincing. I can't get myself to smile
with my eyes, hell I can barely get myself to smile with my lips. It comes
out as more of a half-assed grin.

West looks down at me, narrowing his eyes. "Is it?"

I'm at a loss for a response. There's no point in lying, West could see right
through it.

"You know, it's okay to be upset with him. You don't have to pretend."

Unable to come up with a response, I train my eyes on the tiled floor and try
to change the subject. West's earlier interaction with Tina comes to mind,
stirring up a different annoyed feeling inside me.

"What did T I N A want?"

I cringe at my choice of topic and especially my facial expression while

asking.

West catches it right away and smirks down at me, "Jealous, Sunshine?"

I want to instantly say no, but isn't that exactly what I felt this morning
when I saw her walking so close to him that their arms were basically
brushing? When I saw the seductive grin she gave him? When I saw his
attention focused on her? Forcing that thought from my mind, I convince
myself that I was only scowling this morning because I didn't want Tina to
sleep with yet another guy from my friend group.

"Am not."
"That's the best response you've got?" He asks with his stupid, cocky grin.
"If you must know, she asked me to hang out after school today."

Oh.

"Before you get too jealous, I told her I would, but it's a little cloudy today."

My face contorts into complete confusion and I look up at him, shaking my

head.

"What?"

I regret my question as soon as I sign it when I see the way his smirk
somehow becomes cockier.

"And I need my daily dose of Sunshine."

My reaction doesn't know if it should blush at how cliché and cute that was,
or laugh at how cliché and cute that was. I type my response into my phone,
biting back a smile.

'That was insanely cheesy, even for you.'

He reads it and chuckles, quickly crossing in front of me to lean against the

wall of lockers that causes me to stop walking.

"Maybe, but it got you flustered."

I scoff.

"Did not."

"You are just full of the greatest responses today, aren't you?" He asks with
an insufferably handsome chuckle. "But you, Sunshine, are definitely
flustered."

"How so?"

"We passed your classroom already."

I instantly look around the hallway and realize that he's right. I close my
eyes and clench my jaw as I slowly turn back to face him, not wanting to
meet his cocky smile. But I suck it up and open them to glare at him,
sucking my teeth as I abruptly turn and walk back in the direction of my
class.

"Lesson after school?" West calls out to me.

I don't turn around nor do I answer him, but of course that's answer enough
and I know he'll be meeting me at Toby's truck at the end of the day.

---

By the end of the day, I've fully recovered from my morning encounter with
West Love. He seems to have a way of burying himself deep into my mind,
and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Tyler walked with me to
Toby's truck, where I expect to see West, but to my disappointment- no. My

surprise,

he's not there.

"Raine, you can settle this argument," Alyse says as I walk up, "Gray seems
to think that the sign for an Owl is to bring your hands up to your eyes in
little circles and twist them around. I told him that was ridiculous."

I quirk a brow,

"No, he's right. This is the sign."

Gray triumphantly takes a bite of his granola bar, and Alyse huffs and
crosses her arms.

"Aw, don't pout Alyse," Toby says. "You got bested by the smart one of the
group, at least it wasn't Ty."

Alyse glances at Tyler who is smiling carelessly, probably focused on the

butterfly on Toby's truck's antenna instead of this conversation.
"You've got a point."

As they continue talking, I scan the parking lot to see if West may be
walking towards us. However, instead of West, Warren catches my eye. He's
flying across the parking lot in his Audi, causing a few students to scurry
out of his way and throw him the middle finger as they mutter to each other,
most likely about what a douche he is. He reaches his destination, and my
heart jumps.

West's Jeep.

West walks up, and I can tell from his body language that he feels no threat
by seeing Warren waiting for him at his car. I can practically picture the
threatening look on his face as he approaches Warren. The slight narrowing
of his eyes that clearly sends a message not to mess with him.

Though I can't hear them from here, I can see Warren's vile, cocky grin as
he talks to West. He has his arms crossed over his chest as he talks, and I
expect West to take on the same look that he did last week when Warren
confronted him. That threatening, brooding glare that had Warren nearly
shaking. But instead, I see him take a defensive stance. He actually
looks...intimidated? And Warren...well, he doesn't.

I tug on Tyler's shirt, grabbing his attention and pointing down the parking
lot towards the scene unfolding.

"Hey, guys check it out," Tyler says for me, grabbing everyone else's
attention to focus on West and Warren.

"What the..." Toby trails off. "What's going on over there?"

"It looks like Warren's talking to West," Tyler answers the rhetorical
question.

Toby gives him an incredulous look and lightly smacks the back of his
head, "Well obviously."

Tyler flinches and pouts at him, "Then why'd you ask?"

"Warren drove over there and instantly confronted him,"

I explain.

"Do you think it's about his tires?"

The boys cross their arms as they watch.

"Could be," Gray reasons. "Or our suspicious were right and West does
know Warren."

"Either way, we should go back him up," Toby says, and then starts on his
way over towards West with the others quickly following.

Alyse and I follow behind them and she sends me a wide-eyed look.

"What do you think they're talking about?" She asks quietly.

I look at West, and the closer we get the more I see the anger in his
expression, but I also see the slight fear in the way he's standing so
defensively. But Warren doesn't look intimidated at all, and that causes
warning signs to flare up all around my head.

"I don't know, but West seems shaken up."

The boys all seem ready for a fight. Their fists are clenched, postures stiff,
and eyes focused on their target. However, before we reach the scene,
Warren says one more thing to West and then gets into his Audi and speeds
away, leaving West in the dust. West seems incredibly frustrated, and I
watch as he leans his hands on his Jeep, hanging his head between his arms
before slamming his hands on his car with a loud curse. I've never seen
West so...angry. I can practically feel his frustrated rage from here, and it
leaves me wondering what the hell Warren said to him.

"West, what happened?" Toby asks once we reach him, glaring in the
direction Warren sped off.

"Yeah man, are you okay?" Tyler asks.

West stands up straight and runs his hand through his hair, trying to mask
his anger with a cool smile.

"I'm good, guys. Warren just tried to blame the tires on me again, but I
sorted it out. Sort of."

And, since they're boys, they instantly believe him and nod, patting him on
the shoulder.

"Well, don't worry about that one. You have an airtight alibi between the
three of us," Gray says.

"Yeah, no chance in hell Warren can win a case like that," Toby adds.

"I don't know, his dad's a pretty good lawyer," Tyler says, voicing his
thoughts aloud without reading the room.

"Ty!" Toby snaps, hitting him on the back of the head once again.

West chuckles, "Don't worry about it. His dad wouldn't waste his time on a
case like this," he mutters, eyeing the direction Warren sped off.

I narrow my eyes. As West shifts his gaze back to the others, he catches
mine. But he doesn't keep it for very long and quickly looks at the boys.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate you coming to back me up."

"Yeah, man."

"Don't mention it."

"He's a douche, don't let him bother you too much," Alyse adds.

West nods at Alyse and, since the situation seems defused, the guys start to
head back towards Toby's truck with Alyse following. I, however, stay back.
From the corner of my eye, I notice Toby realize that I didn't follow and
starts walking back to get me. Alyse grabs his arm and tugs him towards the
truck, catching my eye and nodding.
I walk closer to West as he leans against the Jeep, crossing his arms over his
chest.

"Are you okay?"

I sign hesitantly.

West glances at my hands and clenches his jaw for a second or two, clearly
debating what to tell me.

"I'm okay, Sunshine."

I watch him closely before grabbing my phone and typing my response,

tossing it to him when I finish.

'You're okay like I think my dad coming to town is a good thing?'

He snorts when he reads it and tosses it back, offering me nothing but a

smile as he opens the door to his Jeep.

"Could we potentially move the lesson back to five?" He asks before getting
in. "I've gotta do something real quick, shouldn't take me more than an
hour."

I quirk a brow,

"That sounded S U S, but sure."

"I've just got to talk to some friends, but I'll see you at five for my daily
dose of Sunshine," he winks, disappearing into his Jeep before I can fathom
a response.

---

9/27/2020 - Writing a brand new chapter to a book you wrote 5 years ago is
NOT an easy task, lol. But I really hope you guys love and appreciate this
chapter and all the work that went into it. I want to include Raine and
Toby's father more in this book to make it more realistic, and include a
better, deeper feud between West and Warren.
Chapter Fourteen (Edited
9/29/2020)
Keep the votes and comments flowing :)

Last chapter only got 100 votes :( :( But I believe we can get that up!!

9/29/2020 - ^ oh wow how far I have come... makes me so incredibly

thankful :)This was the original chapter 13 of the un-edited story, in case
anyone was keeping tabs on the individual chapters, haha. This chapter was
pretty much re-written. The scene and setting is the same, but I did change
the song and instead of having West only sing a line or two....well, you'll
see.

The song attached will make an appearance, and I would like to say that
I'm aware this particular song is not on a piano. But it holds too much
meaning to Raine and to me for me not to include it. So, please ignore the
little instrument difference lol.

Silently Falling: Chapter Fourteen

West stays true to his word and comes over at 5 o'clock on the dot. I had
been chilling on the couch with Toby as we both did our homework, me
sipping on some water and him on a can of Dr. Pepper. He's lounged out on
the "L" part of our sectional, flipping through his Calculus textbook lazily
as he stares down the problems he should be doing. I have my legs tucked
under me, my English notebook sprawled out my lap as I sort through what
other questions I should ask West for my essay.

New questions popped up today after watching his interaction with Warren.
But these may not be questions I can flat out ask. The more I question him
about his past with Warren (because I'm realizing that there definitely is
one) the more he may question me about my own past. And I am not ready
for that.
"West's here," Toby grunts, lifting his head to eye the black Jeep pulling up
through the window.

I set my notes down on the couch next to me, uncrossing my legs to stand
up. Toby also stands and walks towards the window, eyes narrowing as he
gently tugs on the parted curtains to get a better view.

"He seems a little pissed."

I furrow my brow and crane my neck to see outside the window. West is
still sitting inside his Jeep with his hands tightly holding his steering wheel
as he stares ahead at the house, knuckles white from the power of his grip.
His face is contorted into anger, dark eyes lost in his thoughts, but I note
something else in his expression that I can't place.

"I guess Warren really set him off," Toby muses, letting the curtains fall
back to their usual place.

I can still see West through the gap in the curtains. He finally lets his grip
go on the steering wheel and steps out of the Jeep, shutting the door behind
him with a little more force than necessary and my heart starts to pound
harder against my chest. I don't want to deal with an angry West, especially
not since I have seen his threatening glares. If those eyes were at all
directed at me, I don't think I could handle it. I'd be terrified.

Toby notes my frozen stance in the middle of the living room and walks
over to me, brows pulling together out of concern.

"You okay, Raine? I can stay downstairs and keep doing my homework in
here."

I blink a few times and focus my eyes on him, plastering a reassuring smile
on my face.

"It's okay. I have to ask a few more questions about juvie and he may be
most comfortable if it was just us two."
Toby eyes my warily until West knocks on the door a few seconds later, and
then backs off.

"Okay, I'll be in my room if you need me." He then retreats up the steps as I
go towards the front door.

Placing my jittery hand on the brass knob, I swing the door open. But, my
nerves disappear when I'm not met with the same anger West was radiating
in his car. Instead, he has his usual smirk and saunters inside as though he
didn't just look like he was ready to attack the next person he saw. I
suspiciously eye his back while I close the door. That smirk seemed too
forced.

"Lets get this show on the road," he says, removing his shoes and kicking
them into the pile near the front door.

He plops down comfortably on the couch, naturally resting his feet on the
glass coffee table, but he avoids my eyes. I carefully follow him to the
living room, sitting on the cushion next to him before fishing through my
backpack for my whiteboard and a new pack of markers. I ready myself to
ask him what Warren said earlier, trying to pry a little further to explain his
expression when he was in his Jeep; his anger and the odd hint of
something else.

"Earlier, with Warren-"

But he cuts me off after glancing at my hands.

"How many Expo markers have you been through with that thing?" He
asks, nodding towards my whiteboard.

Uh, okay then.

I shrug and cross my legs as I rip open the new pack, my fingers dancing
across the color assortment before choosing the blue, thin marker.

"My mom has had the same three Expo markers for the whiteboard on our
fridge. I can't imagine they run out super fast," West rambles.
I scrunch my brow and stare at him as he continues to talk about the 'dinner'
whiteboard on his fridge, trying to piece together why on earth West Love is
sitting on my couch talking about Expo markers. I wave my hand in front of
his face to get his attention, and that cuts him off. He still doesn't look at
me, but does look at my hands as I sign.

"Since when do you R A M B L E?"

West shifts in his seat and shrugs, "Just making conversation, Sunshine."

Or he's trying to keep the conversation off of any questions regarding what
happened earlier with Warren and where he drove off to after school.

"

What happened earlier?"

I try again. "

Warren really seemed to-"

"I don't want to talk about him."

My back stiffens from the dark, deep anger in his tone as he cuts me off.
His whole body is tense. Angry. Dark eyes boring into mine but not really
seeing me. I subtly swallow and look down, an uncomfortable chill
sparking down my spine as my hands lower into my lap.

West snaps out of it a moment later and nods to the whiteboard. "Okay," he
clears his throat, forcing his calm expression, "What's the first lesson
today?"

I open the marker cap and scribble my response down, angling it towards
him when I finish.

"You want to know more about juvie?" He asks, eyes meeting mine.

I nearly recoil. Even though he has a strange guard up, I notice traces of
sympathy. My brain goes into hyperdrive, circulating through ideas to come
up with a reason that that emotion would be in his expression. But, from my
lack of a response, West diverts his line of sight and his cool, calm, and
cocky expression is back full force; as though I imagined what was in his
eyes seconds ago.

"For the essay,"

I finally sign.

"Well, you're in luck. I was just there visiting some friends, so it's all fresh
in my mind," he says, once again keeping his gaze from meeting mine.

My eyes widen and mouth partially gaps at that response.

"What?"

West shrugs and crosses his arms, "I went to meet up with some friends.
Warren's threat had me on edge, and I, eh, needed to talk to someone who
was... sent in for car vandalization."

I quirk a curious brow at his not so convincing statement.

'You just happen to have a friend who went to juvie for that?'

I write, showing it to him in disbelief.

He reads it and snorts, "Sunshine, it may be hard to believe, but I have

friends who have done a lot of stupid shit that landed them in juvie. Paul for
car vandalization. Miles for robbery. Hell, I had a friend Grant who got sent
in for jaywalking."

I cover my mouth quickly with my hand to hide my smile at his last

statement until I see the way he chuckles and realize it's okay to find that
amusing. I move my hand to show my smile and laughter, and West smiles
as he watches me. But his eyes are calculating. Observant. Almost
questioning, and I don't know why.

"What's the sign for that, anyway? Jaywalking?"

I pull my lips together in thought. I've never had a use for the term, so I
honestly don't know what the sign would be.

"You have no idea, do you?"

I shrug.

"And you call yourself a teacher," he teases.

Suddenly, the previous tension I felt starts to dissipate and I allow myself to
relax. West was probably worked up after going back to see his friends who
were all still stuck in juvie. It most likely brought up some painful
memories and set him into a bad mood; the sympathy in his eyes left over
from having to see his friends who couldn't walk out the door like he had.

"I've been able to teach you, haven't I?"

West's smirk stays on his lips as he shifts his gaze from my hands to my
eyes, no confusion evident on his face as he says: "I didn't quite get that,
must be your teaching skills lacking."

With a scowl, I smack his shoulder with my whiteboard and he laughs

through his flinch.

"Hit me all you want, but I'm still not fluent in ASL. That says something
about your teaching," he says, so I take him up on his offer and start lightly
smacking his shoulder, the top of his head, and his chest until he grabs the
whiteboard from me and holds it as far away as possible.

"Okay! Okay," he laughs, "You win, Sunshine. I take it all back, you are
quite the teacher."

I cross my arms and send him a look that says

go on

.
"And you aren't too hard on the eyes, either," he says, his smile morphing
into a smirk.

I roll my eyes and smack his shoulder again, this time with my hand.

"That was a compliment! If I can't tease or compliment you, what's left?"

"A normal conversation?"

"I tried that earlier. You know, with the whole whiteboard topic?"

"I said 'normal.'"

"You didn't

say

anything."

I narrow my eyes at him, having to bite back a smile from his clever
response. I could get offended, but where's the fun in that?

"Well, did you figure out what you needed to?"

I sign, changing the topic back to his juvie visit.

He reads my hands and his previous carefree smile vanishes, his body
tensing. "What?"

I tilt my head,

'From your friend, Paul? The one who knows about car vandalization
charges?'

I write.

West reads over my handwriting and I swear I see his shoulders relax, but
his previous smile doesn't appear again. Instead, it seems to become even
more of a tight line.
"Right. Yeah. Paul confirmed what I thought."

"Which was?"

I sign.

West looks at me, and my breath catches from his expression. It's guarded,
no doubt, but something about it makes my heart thud slightly harder.

"Just something that will keep Warren in check," he says tightly, then adds,
"about the tire thing."

I have to look away from him. I'm unable to keep up with his guarded
expression.

"Well, was it tough?"

I ask, keeping my eyes tight on my hands as I slightly alter the subject.

"To hear what he had to say? Yeah... it was," West says with his jaw set. The
guarded look in his eye breaks away for a fleeting moment, and I see the
anger, the sympathy, all over again.

Questions multiply in my head as he quickly looks away, forcing me to

wonder yet again if I imagined the emotion.

"I meant going back,"

I sign into the silence.

West glances at my hands and shifts in his seat, sending me a quick smile.
"Right. I've been back a couple of times to check in and see how some of
the guys are doing. I was in juvie for a big chunk of time and I got close
with some of them. As glad as I was to leave that place...it sort of sucked to
leave them. They understood, you know?"

"I'm sorry,"

I sign sadly.
West glances at me and offers a lopsided grin, "Well, leaving was okay. If I
hadn't, it would have been bad for my health."

I furrow my brow, regretting questioning him when I see his lips curve into
his signature, cocky smirk.

"I wouldn't be getting the Sunshine I needed."

I narrow my eyes at his cheesy line, biting back a smile.

'That's two incredibly cheesy lines in one day.'

"I consider them smooth instead of cheesy. But it wasn't all gloom and
doom during my visit, they got a new guy there that was brought in for
puppy theft."

I laugh, tilting my head as if to ask

seriously?

He chuckles, "According to the guys, he went into the local pet shop,
rounded up all of the puppies by stuffing them into his sweatshirt, and tries
to make a bolt for it. He got two blocks before the police picked him up.
Poor guy is only fifteen, but he intended to lie to potential buyers and say
they were purebred to sell them for a huge profit."

As lighthearted and funny as the offense sounds, and as much as it makes

West and I chuckle, there's a sad undertone to the fact that such a seemingly
harmless crime could land a kid in juvie. But, the law is the law I guess.
You break it, you pay the price.

Except for Warren.

The thought of him instantly cuts my laughter and has me sinking into the
couch to escape the memories dancing deep in the back of my mind. I don't
need those to make any appearances right now. West catches on to my
sudden mood shift and something flashes in his expression.

"You okay, Sunshine?"

I decide to play it off with a lighthearted joke and turn my lips into a pout,
ignoring the blanket of sorrow that really wants to envelope me after
thinking about Warren.

"Are the P U P P I E S okay?"

West carefully reads my hands and then begins to smile when he

comprehends, lightly shaking his head at me.

"Yes, Sunshine, the puppies are perfectly okay."

A real smile melts my lips and I sit back up, shifting my feet on the floor
and accidentally kicking my backpack over in the process. A few books
spill out, and West grabs the one that fell across his own feet. He purses his
lips as he lifts the little leather journal it into his hands, reading the cover.

"Song book?" He questions, glancing at me with intrigued eyes, "You write

music?"

I blush a little and nod.

"Well maybe I should start calling you Beethoven."

"Is that a mute/deaf joke?"

West laughs and shakes his head, "No, it's based on the fact you write
music. But that could have been a beautiful joke. What got you interested in
this?"

'Since I'm in chorus and, you know, can't really sing...Mr. C has me write
the music that the class uses for concerts. I play the piano.'

West reads my handwriting and nods, impressed.

"Can I hear one?" West asks, startling me.

"Why?"

I ask on impulse.
"Why not?"

I roll my bottom lip between my teeth on instinct as my thoughts consume

me. No one has ever requested to see my songs, not even Tyler or Gray.
Alyse listens to them on occasion, but not per her request. Toby hears me
practice, but he doesn't physically ask me to perform anything for him.

All of the sudden, my car ride with West the other day floats into my mind.
More importantly: his singing voice. The awe it left me in is undeniable, I
doubt he will ever let me forget the star-struck look that just had

to fill my features. On top of that, West isn't in chorus.

Which means if he were to happen to sing the lyrics of my songs so that I

could hear them before turning them in, he wouldn't be at an unfair
advantage like Alyse...

My eyes snap back up to West who's waiting patiently, and I nod.

"Yeah, why not."

I stand from the couch as West's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, I'm sure he
was expecting me to be a little more on the fence about this. Maybe I
should be, but I'm not.

"But, that's my personal book. My school book is upstairs,"

I sign, turning and walking towards the staircase. As I start to walk upstairs,
I note that West is still sitting on the couch.

I tap on the banister to get his attention and nod upstairs for him to come
along. He stands up and starts walking over, smirking at the bottom of the
steps.

"I thought it would be a little more difficult to get into your room. I didn't
pin you as that type of girl, Sunshine."

I roll my eyes and continue up the steps towards my room, choosing to

ignore his remark. We walk into my room, and I shyly fiddle with my
fingers as his eyes flit around the room, soaking it all in.

What if he thinks my room is childish? What if he sees my posters as silly

and makes fun of me for them?

Oh my gosh, please tell me I picked up my dirty bra off the floor.

West's eyes flit towards the floor and a smirk overtakes his features, and I
know I forgot to throw it into my hamper.

"Nice bra, love the dark blue. Reminds me of your eyes." He smirks,
leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

My face flushes a deep red and I rush towards the article of clothing and
quickly toss it into my hamper. I throw my hair over my face to hide my
blush.

"Tell me, did you buy it to match on purpose?" He asks.

I just lift my hand and flip him the bird.

West chuckles and walks fully into the room. "Nice room, though. I like the
posters." He stands awkwardly in the middle of my room, patting his legs as
he looks around. I cock a brow and gesture to the bed.

"You can sit, you know."

He reads my hands and plops down, making himself right at home. He puts
one leg over the other and places his arms behind his head, propping his
back against the headrest.

"Mmm, very comfortable. Perfect for-"

I send him a pointed glare, but to my surprise, instead of a smirk for having
caught him before he could say anything sexual, he seems to look even a
little guilty.

"I was going to say sleeping," he says honestly, and I furrow my brow.
"Saying sex would have been funnier,"

I sign with a small shrug, confused about the tone of his statement.

But then, cocky West is back.

"Well, in that case, then this bed is perfect for having-"

I throw a pillow that had fallen to the floor at him.

"Don't get too C O M F Y. This is it, we can go back downstairs now."

I sign, lifting the book from off of my desk when I finish.

"I prefer longer field trips..."

When I glare at him, he sits up and places his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, back downstairs we go," he follows me out of my room and I head

towards the piano in the corner of the living room. "So what song are you
going to play for me?"

A small rush of excitement runs through me. I haven't gotten to play my

chorus songs for a pre-audience before, so this is quite exciting for me. I
feel a smile worm it's way to my lips as I open up my songbook and go to
the most recent page.

"This is the song I have to turn in on Friday."

I sign.

I turn back to my piano and slide up the cover, revealing the pristine keys
just begging to be played. My smile turns soft as I run my hand over them
briefly, memories of my mother flitting past my eyes for a second or two. I
let out a small breath before I place my hands over the keys, my songbook
open and placed atop the Maple wood piano.

I waste no time in getting started and my fingers run over the keys
effortlessly, gliding across the piano as if possessed. I glance up towards my
songbook, my eyes soaking in the notes to play. As I finish the whole song,
my body fully relaxes on the last note and I let out a small breath. I await
West's reaction, turning around to face him.

He has an impressed grin stuck to his lips, and begins to clap.

"That, Sunshine, was beautiful."

I lightly blush and turn back around, reaching up for my school songbook to
flip through and find something else to play next. However, another hand
reaches it first and lifts it away, replacing it with my worn, leather
songbook. I shift my confused gaze to West, who is standing next to the
piano.

"I want to hear one of these. Something you didn't write for Mr. C," he
admits.

My eyes widen a little and I glance hesitantly at the book, gnawing on the
inside of my cheek as I debate whether or not to oblige. These are my
personal songs, and most of them hold meaning to one particular night I
don't want West finding out about.

"Please?" He asks, offering me ridiculous puppy dog eyes.

And, surprisingly, it worked. I flip through my songbook, trying to find the

right song to play, and suddenly my eyes land on my song Elysium.

I wrote it a year or so ago, and it holds a special place in my heart. It may

sound sad, but everything about it is hopeful, and I clung to the hope I
wrote into this song whenever times were bad.

Why I decide to play such an emotional song for West, I don't know. But I
do, and I don't regret it.

Any knowledge of having West as an audience dissipates as I start playing,

and soon it's just me. The beginning notes are simple, but they open up for a
beautiful melody to follow. It isn't upbeat and happy like my song for Mr.
C, but rather hopeful. It's becoming one of my favorite songs I've ever
written, holding the truest and most meaningful lyrics.

"Do you believe in an afterlife?"

The lyrics don't pour from my own lips, and if they did then my voice is
much more masculine than I last remember. A surprised jump over takes me
and my hands still on the keys, the song getting an abrupt ending just as it
begun. My head snaps behind me where West is standing only centimeters
away from me. He is reading my songbook that is still settled on the piano.

"Why'd you stop?" He asks, looking down at me. His chest is practically
pressed against my back, his scent wafting over me.

I just stare at him in shock. Shocked from him singing the lyrics, and
shocked from how fantastic it sounded. Without warning, West slides onto
the piano bench next to me and takes my songbook from its perch, his body
once again pressed to mine. His arm is barely touching mine, but it's enough
for me to stiffen slightly.

"Keep going, Sunshine. I already love it."

And, for some reason, I do.

I start back from the beginning, trying to ignore the feel of West's warmth
so close to me, and trying to focus instead on the song at hand. Soon, that
doesn't become an issue and I fall fully into my music as West begins to
sing my lyrics. Bringing my thoughts to life right before my very eyes.

"Do you believe in an afterlife?

Where our souls will both collide,

In some great Elysium

Way up in the sky

Free from our shackles, our chains, our mouths, our brains We'll open all
the gates.
We will walk careless,

Straight into the light."

West's voice fits perfectly for what I always imagined

Elysium

would sound like, and chills run up and down my arms as I continue
playing. West slowly bobs his head with the music, and risking a quick
glance I note that his eyes are shut as he lets my notes wash over him until
the next lines come back up. And despite this being such a personal song,
from the way West is appreciating and admiring it, I don't regret showing it
to him.

"I've never felt so enlightened.

Every page I turn

I only find myself feelin' more alone.

Posin' questions to a silent universe,

My very thoughts a curse.

They just seem to multiply.

Forever in my mind.

Don't grow up.

Please never grow up."

I shut my eyes as my hands take over the keys from memory, readying
myself for the height of the song. Before, the notes were simple and
repetitive, providing more emphasis on the meaning behind my words. But
now, not I allow my notes to escalate to the true emotion that was coursing
through me as I wrote this song.
"Just hold out against the night.

Guard your hope with your life.

For the darkness, she will come.

Oh, and you will have nowhere left to run.

But your eyes are wider than mine,

And help me to sleep.

Just hope that age does not erase,

All that you see.

Don't let the bitterness become you,

Your only hopes are all within you."

The lyrics stop for a few moments there, and then it's all about the keys I
play. I feel my body sway to the beat, to the thoughts that consumed me as I
wrote this song. A song that to the younger version of myself. A song to
hold on to my hopes, to try and avoid growing up, to still believe in
hopeless love and devotion, to believe that the world is pure. A song that
ultimately was to be sung to the current me. To the broken me. To tell her
that you can be okay.

"Just hold out against the night.

And guard your hope with your life."

I finish out the notes, avoiding tears that want to appear. I have never heard
this song actually sung out loud before and it made me emotional.

"Wow," West breathes, looking at me, "Raine...that was beautiful."

I glance up at him and I see how awestruck his expression is with

admiration, and it causes a light blush to dust across my cheeks.
"Thank you."

He looks at me with a soft expression. "It clearly has a deep meaning."

With his arm brushing against mine, I don't have much of a place to hide.

'They're just random lyrics,'

I lie, writing on the whiteboard.

West watches me carefully and shakes his head, "Well, whether they are or
not, they meant a hell of a lot to me. I find it hard to believe you, the author,
didn't find some incredible meaning in them."

I avoid his eyes, fiddling with the keys of the piano, because what can I
say?

Oh, yeah you're right. They actually are about the darkness I fell into after
being raped by Warren. Praying that one day I could finally be past the
shackles that Warren placed on me.

"I'm really glad you liked it,"

I choose to sign.

West studies my face for a few moments, soft eyes dancing around my own
as if searching, before he smiles.

"Isn't it my turn for a compliment?"

I chuckle and lightly nudge him,

"You sounded really good. Thank you for bringing that song to life."

He grins and nudges me back, but he keeps his body pressed against mine.
"Of course, Sunshine. I'd love to be able to sing them some more."

I bite my lip at his sudden suggestion and look back at my piano. Music has
always been my escape, it's always been what's lifted my mood when gone
bad. It's been my most vivid memory of my mother.

My hand unconsciously comes up to my mother's necklace in its rightful

place around my neck.

West, noticing that I'm on the fence, tries to catch my gaze.

"Sunshine, I understand if maybe your personal songbook is a little much of

me to ask to sing. That's yours, and I appreciate the fact you let me even
hear one song. But, I know you could use the help for the chorus songs. It
would be nice to hear someone else sing them before you introduce them to
an entire class, yeah?"

"You really want to?"

I ask, watching him closely.

My music isn't something I joke about.

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't." He responds.

"You aren't making fun of me?"

I sign slowly, my eyes examining him as closely as he does me.

He tilts his head and frowns slightly. "You would know if I was making fun
of you, Raine. I want to help you, believe it or not."

I stare at him for a few more moments until I finally crack. I offer him a
small smile and a nod.

"Deal."

---

9/29/2020

- OKAY SO. Please note that the song I described in this chapter is NOT
WRITTEN OR OWNED BY ME IN ANY WAY. The song 'Elysium' is the
work of the amazing band, Bear's Den

, I only interpreted their lyrics for this book and for Raine because I felt it
worked very well with what she went through, and eventually will even
work with West. This song allowed me to deepen this part of the book. I
hope you all enjoy that song, and check out some more of their music
because I absolutely adore them.

Also, I had the most trouble so far with this chapter. What do you guys
think? Did the edits turn out okay? I didn't change a whole lot, but at the
same time altering the song scene was changing a lot... Let me know what
you think!
Chapter Fifteen (Edited 9/30/2020)
Silently Falling: Chapter Fifteen

Thursday

When West and I made our deal, I surprised myself. My music has always
been an escape. My safe haven. My songs are a way for me to express all of
my frustrations. All of my feelings. The song I played for West...I haven't
played that for anyone, and I certainly have never had anyone sing it.
Hearing West sing it, however, nearly brought me to tears. I used to play
that song over and over on my piano when I first wrote it, but I could only
imagine how it would sound for someone to sing.

He sang it beautifully enough to convince me to say yes in getting his help

for my Chorus songs, and I have a strange feeling that it won't just be my
school song book he and I play through. After he had me so easily playing a
song that close to my heart.

Now I'm walking out of class with Alyse. I filled her in on everything
before class started, leaving out no details because she practically
interrogated every moment out of me.

"I cannot believe he got you to play a song from your personal song book,"
she exclaims, "you wouldn't show me for the longest time.

And I've

never even sung them."

I shrug as we stop by my locker,

"I can't explain it. I was nervous, of course."

"And the fact that he's going to help you with your songs for Mr. C, too? If I
didn't ship you two before, this would be the major starting point."
My eyes roll on their own accord,

"What's the big deal, anyways?"

"What's the big deal?" She repeats as though I'm insane. "The big deal,
Raine, is that I know how important your music is to you and you're now
sharing that with bad boy West Love."

I don't respond to her, choosing to busy my hands by swapping textbooks.

"Okay, anyways I've got to go see Mr. Patterson before lunch. See you in a
bit," she says before walking away.

I balance the books on my arm and shut my locker, and that's when
everything falls out of my arms from complete surprise. West is standing
there, his arms crossed and a lazy smirk planted to his features. I try to calm
my breathing and place my hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"You scared me."

When West sees my books sprawled out on the floor, his smirk disappears
and he bends down to help me pick them up. Students shuffle to their
classes around us, and one doesn't move out of the way for me and West on
the floor and steps on my hand, causing me to hiss out of pain and cradle it
to my chest. He just stepped on my pinky, and though it hurt like hell, it will
be fine in a few minutes.

However, as soon as West watches me flinch and clutch my hand, he shoots

up and grabs the guy by his backpack so he can't walk away. He pulls him
back by the strap at the top, causing the kid's arms to swing forward as he
gets yanked backwards and lands against the lockers.

"W-what did I do?" He asks, gulping when he notices it was West who
stopped him.

West narrows his eyes and nods down to me still kneeling on the ground,
cradling my poor hand to my body. I stare sheepishly at the trembling
underclassman, quickly stacking my books on top of one another and
standing up.

"I'm sorry!" He blurts out, "I didn't even realize I stepped on her hand, I
thought it was a pencil or something!"

I balance my books on one arm and tap West's arm frantically as he stares
down the poor kid. He moves his eyes to me and I shake my head with wide
eyes, trying to get across that it's okay, he didn't mean it.

West jaw clicks and he lets the kid go, turning his back to him to fully face
me while saying, "Watch where you're walking next time."

I scowl at West when the kid scrambles away and into the sea of students
and set my books on the top of the lockers so I can sign to West.

"What was that all about?"

West shrugs without a care in the world, "He stepped on your hand and was
about to walk away without even apologizing."

"So? My finger is fine, see?"

I sign, pointing my pinkie in the air and flexing it to show him that it is, in
fact, perfectly okay.

West eyes my hand and then suddenly reaches out to gently grab it, causing
me to jump. I blink at how gentle his grip is. He inspects my pinkie with
narrowed eyes and then finally lets it go to drop back down by my side.

"He could have damaged your ability to sign," he grumbles, crossing his
arms as he leans against the wall of lockers.

"Lucky for us, he didn't."

I grab my books from the top of the locker and start walking towards the
cafeteria with West on my side.
"Sorry, I just wanted to help," West mumbles. "Why are you bringing your
books to lunch, anyways?"

I adjust said books so I can respond, but nearly drop them again.

"Here," West says, taking them from me so I can free my hands.

"Thank you. Tyler needs help with history, lunch is the only time I can help
him."

He squints at my hands. "Only time you can...?"

I sign it again, this time a lot slower. It's a good thing I'm a patient person,
or else teaching West sign language would have taken a turn for the worst.

When he comprehends his lips form into an 'oh.' "You must be some sort of
saint, helping all us lost fools out." He comments, causing me to chuckle.

"So you label yourself as a lost fool?"

I sign, smirking up at him as we enter the lunchroom.

"I didn't say that."

"Oh, but you did."

He rolls his eyes, but I don't miss his smile.

"You believe what you want, Sunshine." He says.

"I will,

Loverboy

."

I sign, nudging him slightly.

He stops walking and blinks down at me.

"Loverboy?" He echoes.

A blush fills my cheeks. It sounded

a lot

better in my head.

"Any chance we can forget I said that?"

I sign sheepishly, praying he can keep up and comprehend what I'm saying.

West smirks, "Sorry, Sunshine. I can't agree to what I can't understand."

"Yet you understood Loverboy."

I deadpan.

West starts laughing. It starts out as a small chuckle, and then it forms into a
full blown shaking of the shoulders laugh, and slowly I start to laugh along
with him. I glance up at him to see his dark brown eyes now light with his
amusement, his teeth on full display.

My eyes flit around the cafeteria and I see almost everyone staring at us
weirdly. I guess this is a sight to see; the mute and the delinquent laughing
together.

"Leave the nicknames to me, Sunshine." West says, his laughter dying
down.

I bite my lip in embarrassment and we continue walking to our table. As we

reach the others, I smile and wave at everyone and take my normal spot in
between my brother and Tyler. When my eyes land on Tyler, however, I do
a double take.

He's glaring at West?

When he feels my eyes on him his glare lifts and he smiles down at me.
"Hey Raine," he says, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

West stops behind us and sets my books down in front of me, causing Toby
to lean over so that he can set them down. West sends me a smirk as he
walks around the table and takes his own seat.

"What was so funny that you had the whole cafe's eyes on you?" Gray asks,
munching on his chips.

I shake my head, stopping myself from dropping my head on top of my

books from embarrassment.

"Raine said something funny, that's all." He says, smirking at me.

My blush comes back and I hide my face in my hands.

"Which was?" Tyler asks.

I peek at West through my fingers and catch his eye. I plead with him
through our gaze for him to keep his trap shut and not say anything. I don't
feel like having Alyse tease me for the rest of my life.

"It's a secret," he says, sending me a wink.

Did I just swoon?

I remove my hands from around my face and give him a discreet smile. He
returns it and I look away, biting my lip to hide my smile that wants to be
seen.

"Well, you know what's not a secret?" Alyse asks now that she's back at the
table from speaking with our English teacher.

We all look at her in question.

"Starbucks is having a 50% off sale until three. We would have to skip last
period, but I kinda want to go." She says, sipping her soda.

I quickly tug on my brothers arm.

"We

have

to go

Passing this up would be like passing the birth of your child. You can't miss
it!"

I sign, putting on my best puppy dog eyes.

He sighs and sets down his sandwich that he had been eating. "What do you
have last block?" He asks.

"Study hall, therefore I can miss it!"

He purses his lips and looks at the rest of us. "I guess we can go."

I smile widely and hug him, "

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

"

Alyse looks at West, "You in?"

The rest of us look at him expectantly. He raises his brows at us and then
his gaze lands on me and my hopeful eyes, and his lips twitch up in the
slightest.

"Yeah, sounds good." He says, looking back at Alyse.

OoO

"Out of all the days for you to forget to fill up your car, you choose the day
we skip last block?!" Toby yells, smacking Tyler on the back of the head.
"Ouch!" He yelps, his hands coming up to rub it.

We had planned on taking Tyler's and Toby's cars to Starbucks, with West
driving separate. It's the easiest plan since Gray rides with Tyler in the
mornings, and it leaves for all of our cars being driven. Now Tyler's car is
going to be stranded at school.

"I'm sorry! I was in a rush this morning!" Tyler exclaims, running a hand
through his hair.

"Relax guys, we can all ride in Toby's truck." Alyse says, leaning against
said truck. Toby stands next to her, glaring at Tyler.

They look like a power couple.

I think they should date right this second.

Gray nods, "That's true. We all fit if West drives his Jeep separate, as long
as you don't mind, man."

West shrugs, "Single the new guy out, I get it."

"Feelings hurt?"

I snort and roll my eyes at him, causing him to glance at me and smirk.
When Toby speaks up and brings attention back to the others, West mouths
'I'll tell them about Loverboy' and causes a blush to instantly dust my
cheeks.

I childishly stick my tongue out at him and he chuckles,

"Real mature."

He signs.

I pout and cross my arms, directing my attention to the others.

My brother sighs, "One problem."

"What is that?" Gray asks.

"I've got that TV for my room in the back seat." He says, "So only two of
y'all can fit in the back. That's why I was hoping for you to ride with Ty."

Gray raises a brow, "You own a truck. Why don't you put the TV in the bed
of it?"

Toby snaps his head to Gray, "And risk someone stealing it while we wait in
Starbucks? Hell no!"

I begin to join in on the conversation, but before I have the chance to sign a
solution, West speaks up.

"Why doesn't Raine just ride with me?" He suggests, swinging his keys
around his finger.

We look over at him, and I shrug.

"Problem solved."

"Or we can move the TV," Tyler says, "I won't get to the gym today, I'll
move the TV and count that as my workout."

West shrugs, "Do what you want, I'm just trying to get us there faster since
it's already 2:30. Which leaves us only thirty minutes to spare."

Alyse jumps up at that fact. "Alright people, move it, move it! Only thirty
minutes left for half off coffee! No more debating, we have found a
solution. Everyone aside from Raine and West into the truck!" She
commands, hopping into the passenger seat.

I laugh at her antics and everyone else's muttered answers. I turn to West
who's smirking at me, still swinging his keys around his finger until he
catches them in his hand.
"Let's go Sunshine." He says, nodding to his car. "I've got my Green Day
CD in and ready to go. I remember seeing their poster in your room."

I follow behind him and get into his car, shutting the door as he starts it up.
Before he begins to back out and follow the others, he lifts his hand to the
car radio and fiddles around until Green Day starts playing.

He backs out of his parking spot, passing Tyler's Land Rover just waiting to
be driven, and he starts following Toby's truck down the road, again using
the steering wheel as his own personal drum.

"Don't wanna be an American idiot!" He sings, throwing his head down

with the guitar.

I watch him and try to keep my laughter at bay. He's right on beat with his
drumming and head banging, and his singing is matching the pace
perfectly; it's clear he has rhythm and that he's having fun. But that doesn't
mean he looks completely ridiculous.

Then I grab the CD in my side console and switch the song to track seven.

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams? How cliche." West comments as it comes

on.

I smirk at him with a shrug,

"I like it."

His eyes flit back to the road and his lips mirror mine. "I bet you would like
it better if I sang along."

"Says who?"

"Says the girl who was practically love struck when I sang her song last
night."

That stills my hands for a moment or two.

'I was just surprised you were able to sing on key.'

I write on my phone, handing it to him when he comes to a stop at the top
sign.

He reads it over and snorts, "That why you agreed to me helping you out
with your music for Chorus?" He starts singing again when I don't have a
response.

"Oh wait, speaking of that, you have a song due tomorrow right?"

I groan when I remember my song I promised Mr. C by the end of this

week, which happens to be tomorrow.

"Yeah..."

"Want me to help later today?"

I send him a grateful smile in response, and he grins at me with a twinkle in

his eye as he goes back to softly singing along to the CD track.

He takes a right turn after my brothers truck. Eventually his singing turns
quieter and unconscious to him. His voice gets more distant as mine used to
do when I would simply mumble along to the lyrics rather than sing them
full on.

"Alright, good song, but this one is better." He says as it reaches the end.
His hand darts out to the radio and he changes what's to play. We pull up to
a stop light as the song starts up, Toby's truck in front of us inching forward
past the white line. The light turns green as I'm sure my brother was
assuming and he steps on the gas, West having to speed up to stay behind
him.

Almost instantly I recognize it as Know Your Enemy. West looks at me

expectantly, and I nod in approval.

Right off the bat he turns to me and points. "Do you know your enemy?" He
sings, his head pivoting back to face the road as he starts playing the air
guitar and drums.
This time my laughter is too prominent to be ignored, and I quickly cover
up my lips to conceal at least some of the noise.

West glances over at me with an amused grin. "What's so funny, Sunshine?"

I shake my head and make a move with my hand to signal him to continue
jamming out on his air instruments. Before he can, however, we arrive at
Starbucks and our music session ends. I hide my disappointment as he shuts
the car off and the music abruptly stops playing.

I enjoyed hearing him sing; his voice has a slight rasp that pours through
my ears and makes me want to sing along.

But I can't.

And somehow, I'm okay with that.

I unbuckle and get out of the car as West walks around to my side. The
others pour out of Toby's truck and walk towards us, Tyler putting a little
extra pep in his step to get to me. He slings his arm around my shoulders as
we walk into Starbucks, West trailing behind. Tyler opens the door for me
and I smile at him.

"After you m'lady." He says, grinning widely at me as I give a small curtsy.

I notice he lets the door shut on West, who glares at the back of his head.
His eyes flit to mine and I hide an amused smile, to which he scowls. I
shrug at him and turn back to face front as we near the counter.

"Raine, I'll buy yours." Tyler says as he gets out his wallet. "I mean, they're
half off so I think I can afford it." He jokes.

I shake my head,

"I can pay for myself."

"Well you can, but I'm just not going to let you." He shrugs. "Now tell the
beautiful cashier what you would like." He says, winking at the blushing
brunette behind the counter.
Tyler, don't you think you're sending her mixed signals? Offering to buy my
drinks, walking in with your arm around me, and then you flirt with her. The
poor girl probably doesn't know what to think right now.

I tap Tyler to get his attention.

"How am I supposed to tell her what I want?"

I deadpan.

"The chances she knows sign language are pretty slim."

Instantly he blushes and scratches the back of his neck. "Oh yeah..."

"Ask her for a venti pink drink, little ice."

Tyler blinks at my hands and scratches his head. "Right... A venti, uh...pink
drink?" He asks.

I smile and nod,

"Good job."

He repeats the order to the confused cashier, offering her a dashing smile
and a sling of compliments. By the end of our order, she even sends me a
glare. I sigh, she must see me as competition.

Hate to break it to you, but Tyler and I are no more than friends.

We move to the side for the next person to order.

"Hey, I seriously gotta pee. Can you take mine over to the seats when it
comes?" He asks, giving me his best puppy dog eyes.

I nod and he quickly walks towards the restrooms in the back, and not a
second later our drinks are ready. Someone different hands them to me, a
boy who looks just about my age. He offers me a smile and a wink as he
passes them to me, and I offer him a smile back.
I lift my own up and go to grab Tyler's, but another hand reaches for it first.
I turn my head to see West lifting it up.

"I got it, let's go." He says, nodding towards the lounge area where the other
three are already waiting.

I take my seat on a small couch and set my coffee down in front of me.
West takes the seat next to me on the couch and sets Tyler's coffee on the
opposite end of the table. The couch is small enough that his jeans are
brushing against my own as he lazily lounges back, throwing his arms
around the back of the couch to get comfortable. Alyse eyes his arm
movement from her cushioned chair next to ours, hiding a giddy grin
behind taking a sip of her coffee.

I scan the table in front of him and furrow my brow when I don't see a
drink, then I crane my neck to the counter up front and see if he forgot to
grab his own.

"No drink?"

I sign.

He tilts his head to look down at me, since even sitting down anyone could
tell he's much taller, and shrugs his shoulders. The movement causes the
couch cushion my back is lounging against the slightly move, and I sit
forward a little bit so that I'm not snuggling underneath West's arm.

"I don't like coffee," he says.

"They have other stuff."

"I wouldn't be caught dead carrying around a pink drink, Sunshine."

"Then why did you come?"

He smirks, "I wouldn't miss an opportunity to skip. I've got physics last
block."
I roll my eyes automatically at his response. There's his delinquent side
coming out.

"Plus I could see how much you wanted me here," he says, looking down at
me through twinkling brown eyes.

I snort and cock my head.

"That's your best response?"

"My best response is any response that results in that cute blush," he
smoothly replies, lifting his arm from off the back of the couch to lean
forward and grab my

drink from the table.

I don't even register him taking a long sip of my drink, too busy discreetly
staring at my reflection in the window behind him, scanning my cheeks and
relaxing when I notice they aren't flushed red.

"Bleh," West grimaces, holding my drink away from him, "no wonder this
stuff is 50% off, it's gotta be the only way for anyone to buy that."

My jaw drops when he smacks his lips again and sets the drink firmly back
down on the table, shaking his head in disgust before placing his arm back
along the back of the couch. I blink at my drink and then at West, and then
back to my drink- barely catching Alyse's smirk from her seat across the
table.

The silence is broken as Gray and Toby start snickering, trying to hide their
laughter behind their cups of coffee. I send a pointed glare at both of them
who suck in their lips for a second before going right back to laughing.

"Raine, come on. That's, like, the fourth time he's been able to steal your
food," Gray laughs.

"I felt bad the first couple of times, but come on sis," Toby adds.
I scowl at them and instantly grab my drink, holding it close to my body to
prevent anyone else from stealing any. Catching Alyse's eye once more, my
scowl deepens at the grin stuck on her lips as her eyes dart between me and
West.

"Thanks for the sip, Sunshine," West says, "but a warning would have been
nice."

Once again my jaw drops from his audacity,

"Warning? You took a sip without even asking!"

West simply chuckles and then turns his attention to Gray and Toby as they
discuss some random football game. Tyler finally emerges from the
bathroom in the back corner and saunters back over to us, usual cheery
smile stuck to his handsome features. However, when he sees West
occupying the seat next to me and his own coffee pointedly placed on the
opposite end of the table, his jaw clenches for a second. His eyes flit to
West and narrow for a fraction of a second before he wipes away any traces
of annoyance and his smile is back.

"Thanks for grabbing this, Raine," he says cheekily.

I shake my head and gesture to West who actually brought it to the table,
and though Tyler keeps his smile, there's a small change to the look in his
eye.

"Oh, well thank you West. How're you settling into East Bridge High? It's
been about a month now, yeah?"

West shrugs, "I'm liking it, it's better than where I was before," he says with
a stiff chuckle.

"Tina seems to have taken a liking to you," Tyler pries with a smile, taking
a swig of his iced coffee.

I try to discreetly gauge West's reaction, but he just raises a brow. "Who?"

"Dude, the hot blonde?

Tina?"

Toby repeats with emphasis.

"Big boobs, equally big ass?" Gray says, further emphasizing his point by
holding his hands out to show her big, eh, qualities.

"She's in our English class," Alyse says, rolling her eyes at the boys.

"And you were walking with her the other day, in the parking lot?"

I sign, and thankfully he comprehends since he is actually an excelling ASL

student.

"Oh, I thought it was Tammy?" West says.

That causes me to snort, and West briefly looks down at me with an amused
smile.

"No, it's Tina," Tyler mutters, "She's a fun time, I'd take her up on whatever
she offers if I were you."

That causes my stomach to sink a little and I instantly look at Tyler in

question.

"Or, you could not do that since these three have already," Alyse quickly
adds.

West snorts, "Thanks for the advice, but she's not really my type anyway."

Tyler eyes West a little warily before he smiles and laughs, "That's what
Toby said at first."

"Shut up, dude," Toby grunts, eyes darting to Alyse for a swift second.

"Speaking of chicks," Gray starts, "I saw you talking to the cashier, Ty. You
get her number?"
He smirks, "Of course. Even made plans for tonight. Looks like I've got
myself a chemistry tutor." He says, waggling his eyebrows.

"You don't even take chemistry." Alyse deadpans.

"I know that." He says with a mischievous smirk. "We're just gonna prep
me for next year."

"Yeah, cause a whole lot of studying is gonna be going on." Toby smirks,
leaning over and punching Tyler in the arm.

As I finish my drink, I stand up and head over to the trashcan across the
room to toss it out.

"Oh I should toss mine too, wait up." Alyse says as she stands up and
shuffles over to follow me, but I notice that her drink it still halfway filled.
"So, mind telling me what's going on between you and West?" She asks
when we finally reach the trash bin across the room.

I nearly miss the trashcan from her bold statement and snap my eyes over to
her in shock.

"What?"

I quickly look across the room at the group of guys, catching West's eye for
a fleeting second before he directs his attention back to the other three.

"Oh come on! Something has to be going on! You two were laughing
together at lunch, and he was so

flirting with you like five minutes ago. Don't even get me going again on
the fact you showed him your personal music."

"Again, what?"

"Raine!" She whines, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

I sign, my face contorted into complete confusion and shock,

"That West is insufferable? There's nothing going on between us."

I make sure to sign quick enough so that a new ASL learner could never
pick up on our topic of conversation, and I turn my back to the group sitting
across the room to take even further precautions.

"Maybe not now, but you definitely have a thing for him."

I scoff,

"A thing? For West?"

She pops her hip out and raises a brow at me, "I saw the way you eyed him
to see his reaction about Tina, and I also saw how big you were smiling
when you got out of his Jeep."

"Is it so wrong to smile with a friend?"

I ask, choosing to ignore her prior statement.

She must realize I'm not going to crack on this one, because she sighs and
rolls her eyes. "Fine, but don't say I didn't totally call this if you two end up
together."

It's ridiculous to even insinuate that something is going on between West

and myself. I was dismayed when he announced we were friends, and we
aren't anything more than that. Don't get me wrong, I know West is
attractive. He's like the God of my town, with looks that seem only
available to the top tumblr posts.

I'm mute, not blind.

And as attractive as he is, and as often as he's on my mind, there's nothing

going on aside from a budding friendship.

I sigh and lift my head.

"Alyse. West and I are nothing more than friends."

Even if I find myself thinking about him more than I probably should, he
and I won't ever date.

---

9/30/2020 - The edits are going to become a little more extensive in the
coming chapters, but this chapter mainly remained the same aside from a
few setting changes and the added scene with West and Raine in the
beginning. I hope you all enjoyed it :)
Chapter Sixteen (Edited 10/1/2020)
I appreciate every vote and every comment I receive, and I can't wait to see
what y'all think of this chapter :) Before you continue, take a quick pause
to go add my other two books to your library :) 'Love, Anonymous' and
'I Fight For Her.'

Silently Falling: Chapter Sixteen

Alyse and I head back to the others after her random accusation that there is
something going on between me and West. As we walk up, I discreetly
watch West to see if there is any chance he overheard, or rather over-read,
our conversation from across the room. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to be
hiding any cocky smirks, so I think I'm in the clear.

Everyone finishes up their drinks and soon we begin to part, but not before
Gray, Tyler, and Toby make plans to hang out.

"West, man, you in? Ty's got a kickass media room where we play Apex
Legends," Gray asks as we all head towards the door. "He's got an extra
PS4 that he got from his grandma for Christmas, too."

"I still don't know how you finessed that one, Ty," Toby snorts. "Using your
poor old Granny for an extra PS4."

"I would, guys, but I'm actually helping Raine with her song for Chorus,"
West says, pushing the door open with his shoulder and holding it open for
the rest of us.

At that, everyone except for Alyse snap their eyes between me and West.
They know the sentiment of my music, so I'm sure this is shocking to hear.
Toby looks at me, narrowing his eyes for a second or two in confusion. He
of all people knows the way I connect a lot of my music to mom, and my
songs to the sorrows I've faced.

I nod, agreeing with West.

"You sure?" Tyler asks suddenly, "My place is always a good time,
especially when my mom makes buffalo dip."

"Dude, your mom is making buffalo dip?" Gray asks, and I nearly snort at
the sudden joy in his expression. "I love that stuff!"

West pulls his keys from his pocket, "Hey man it sounds great and I
appreciate the offer, but Raine's song is due tomorrow. Next time, I'm in."

"Yeah, sure definitely next time," Tyler says, only this smile doesn't seem as
cheerful as usual.

Toby glances at Alyse, "You in? If not I can drop you off at home."

She shrugs, "Sure. I'm always down to kick your ass in some videogames."

He snorts, "Oh is that so? When's the last time that happened?"

I don't hide my smirk at their interaction, even catching Alyse's blush when
she tries to hide it.

"Sunshine? Ready to go?" West asks, nodding towards his Jeep.

I nod,

"I'll see you guys later."

Then, when the others start towards Toby's truck, I catch Alyse's eye and
smirk, "Have fun 'kicking Toby's ass.'"

She smirks back at me, eyeing West who is waiting by his Jeep.

"You too."

I stick my tongue out at her from her insinuation, and she laughs as she jogs
to catch up with the guys who are all waiting at Toby's truck for her. I head
to West's Jeep and he opens the door for me, the muscles in his arm flexing
for a moment as he tugs at the jammed door. I get in and he goes to his side,
starting it up.
Almost instantly the radio starts playing at full blast. I flinch and cover my
ears as he quickly turns the dial all the way down so that the music is at a
dull whisper.

"Do you ever remember to turn it down before shutting off your car?"

I sign.

He smirks, "Only time I forget is when I know you will ride with me."

We ride most of the way in silence, listening to the Green Day CD as he

sings to himself. He pulls onto my street as the song reaches its end and,
just as another starts up, West pulls into my driveway. I try to open my door,
shoving it a little harder when it refuses to budge, and then finally step out
as we head up my sidewalk and to the front door as I fish around in my
backpack for my keys.

When I don't find my keys, my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. I

always have them in this exact pocket... I search a little longer, pulling
random objects out and setting them on the chair on my front porch.

"Uh, why are you pulling out a bunch of tampons?" West asks awkwardly,
staring down at the pile of things I've dumped out.

My body freezes in my searching and I glance at the chair.

Sure enough the pile consists of at least five tampons, three pads, and other
useless junk. My face flushes bright red and I hurry to get everything back
into my backpack.

"No need to be embarrassed, Sunshine," West says, noting my blush. "I'm

not five, and they taught us about the women anatomy in Juvie."

I just fight to control my blush and zip my backpack up.

"I can't find my keys. I thought they were in this front pocket, but they
aren't."
West blinks a few times and scrunches up his face slightly. "We need to step
up these lessons. I only got half of that."

I sigh deeply, my breath shown in the chilly November air, and grab my
phone from my pocket. I quickly type down the sentence and pass my
phone to him, my hands slightly stiff from the cold. As he reads over it, I
walk towards my door and try to open it in false hope of it somehow being
unlocked.

I let out a groan when the doorknob refuses to turn and let me in. I rest my
forehead on the door and bang it against it a few times before turning back
to West. He passes my phone back to me.

"Leave it to you to lock yourself out of your own house." He chuckles,

throwing his hands in his pockets yet again.

"This isn't funny, I'm locked out of my house."

I sign, glaring at him.

West hops down my steps and walks towards his jeep. "Alright, then let's
head to my place."

My head shoots up to face him as he waits in front of his car.

"Your place?"

I echo, squinting in confusion.

He raises an amused brow. "Yeah. I do have a house; I don't live on the

streets, Sunshine."

I look down at the ground in embarrassment, of course I knew he had a

house. I guess I've never really thought of it before. Every time I've pictured
West out of school, the mental image consists of him hanging around the
juvie.

"Do you have a P I A N O?"

West purses his lips, "No, but you played the song for me already. I know
the notes, we can still come up with some lyrics."

He's right, and I don't really have much of a choice. I walk down my front
porch steps, over the tiles that make up my sidewalk, and get back into the
Jeep.

"Where do you live?"

West adjusts his mirror before backing out. "In a house."

He places his arm around the back of my seat, craning his neck to watch out
the back window as he backs out of my driveway and back onto the side
street. The scent of his cologne is suddenly washing over me, and I force
myself to tear my eyes away from his sharp jawline and ignore the flutter in
my chest.

"I know that."

He glances over at me and smirks. "Then why did you ask?"

I don't sign anything else and keep my hands on my lap for the rest of our
ride. I look out the window as West drives, trying to decipher where he may
live rather than paying attention to where we drive. He could be secretly
loaded and somehow live in the same neighborhood as Tyler and Warren,
'King Heights.'

I shake my head at the thought, Tyler would have seen him. It may be a rich
neighborhood, but it isn't a large one. It really only consists of about four
different roads and maybe twenty homes.

Then I play around with the option of him living in Gray's neighborhood.
It's a nice neighborhood for a family with the average pay. Most of the
homes hold three to four bedrooms and are two to three stories. Much like
my house.
The lock of the doors snaps me from my thoughts and my eyes focus in on
where West has driven us. As any other town, we have the wealthy parts,
the regular-income households, and then we have the...more dangerous
areas. West has passed the metaphorical train tracks into the side of town I
rarely venture into.

The nice family homes soon turn into single story, brick laid homes with
overgrown yards. Some look very homey, but the majority have barred
windows. As he drives down the pothole covered rode, my eyes soak in all
the beaten down homes and apartments, the torn and ripped fences, random
objects strewn across porches, and rabid faced dogs generating hectic
barking.

We roll up to a graffitied stop sign and my eyes drift to West, his jaw stiff as
he glances around. When no cars come he presses on the gas and the car
hauls forward down the road, jumping and bumping along the way.

We come to a stop at the end of one of the many streets, this one in
particular nothing but dirt and gravel. The driveway we pull into is the
same; a mix of rocks, weeds, and dirt. I eye West's house, but my immediate
thought is that it's rather cute. The siding is green, but looks recently
painted as opposed to the houses around with paint chipping off of decaying
siding. His front porch is small, with a few yellow chairs around a small
side table that honestly looks inviting.

West puts his car in park and shuts it off, taking the keys out. But as I reach
for the door, his hand shoots out and stops me. I notice him looking out the
back window with a clenched jaw, and I risk looking back.

All I see are two guys, looking to be a few years older than us. However,
they have the complete look of a hoodlum waiting for their debut on a
mugshot.

"I'll come over and get you."

West steps out of his own side, lips in a tight line as he walks around the
front of the Jeep and to my side. He opens the door for me in one swift
motion, his body blocking mine from any views. I hesitantly step out of the
Jeep, eyeing his stiff jaw as he eyes the two guys walking down the street.
He stays close to me as we walk down his sidewalk that consists of nothing
but a few stepping stones and patches of grass.

I try my best to keep my face indifferent as not to offend West. It's not often
I come to this part of town, and I should never be too quick to judge. West
keeps one hand on the small of my back, providing a tremendous amount of
warmth to my body, as he reaches for his door. It creaks open and reveals a
dirty, gray carpet.

He gestures for me to go in first, his face vacant of a smirk. I step inside and
he does so after me, quickly closing the door.

"Welcome to my humble abode." He mutters, throwing his keys to the side.

I look around at the one story home. Right away all the rooms are on full
display. To my right is an open living room consisting of an old couch and a
recliner with a TV seemingly from the early 2000's. To my left is a small
office covered with papers and random cups. Then straight ahead is a small
hallway with three doors of which I assume are the bedrooms. To the end of
that hallway is what I would guess is the kitchen.

As small as it is, and as bad of an area as it's in, West's house has a very
homey feel.

I turn to West and smile.

"It's cute."

He frowns slightly. "I know it's not much and I know it isn't in the best
location, but... it's home." He says with a sigh.

"How about a T O U R?"

I ask with a smile.

West awkwardly shifts on his feet, "You've seen the majority already."

I smirk,
"I'd love to see how messy your room is."

"You trying to get me into bed, Sunshine?"

I roll my eyes and shove him lightly.

"Shut up."

He chuckles, his brown eyes light. Much different from the darkness that
consumed them as he drove through this neighborhood.

"Alright, tour it is." He walks to the right and all the way into his living
room, and I get a better look at the room.

It's no larger than my bedroom, holding nothing but a coffee table, a couch,
a recliner, and an old TV. The walls are composed of old panels of wood,
complete with the random black splotches. The carpet continues on into this
room, and a large stain of some sort covers the space just next to the couch.

The couch is set up across from the TV with just enough room for one
person to walk behind it, and the old yellow clothed recliner faces the TV at
an angle, just next to one of the three windows that occupy the room. Next
to the recliner sits a small table that seems to be able to hold no more than a
few remotes and a drink, but what more do you need a side table for? My
eyes drift to the TV itself; an older box TV.

"So yeah, this is the living room. Where we live." West says, looking
around with a single, small nod.

"We? Who lives with you?"

I ask.

"Don't tell me you thought I lived alone?" He asks, trying to hold back a
smile.

I don't respond.

"My mom and little brother both live with me." He explains amusedly.
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I didn't know he had a little brother. I
never imagined him the type to have any little siblings... I wonder if they're
close or if West's a jerk to him. I take note to the fact his father wasn't
mentioned, but I don't ask him anything about it.

He walks out of the living room and to the office, which is a considerable
amount smaller than the living room. In here there is nothing but a small
couch fit for only two people, a desk with a desktop on it, and a rolly chair
to go with it. The couch in here has a floral print, unlike the living room
couch that was a light brown.

The walls of this room are the same as the living room; wooden panels.
However, in here they are almost completely covered with pictures.

"This is my mom's office, and also her room." West explains, scratching the
back of his head. "Sorry it's so messy, but she isn't exactly a neat freak."

I wave it off. I couldn't care less about a little mess.

I roll my eyes at him and then walk closer to the walls to get a better look at
the pictures. When I come across the first one, my brows shoot up and I
laugh lightly. It's an old picture, that I can tell by the quality, and it's of
West. He looks no older than ten, wearing a blazer and a bright blue tie.
He's smiling cheekily at the camera, his face covered in cake along with his
hands.

"Is this you?"

I ask, looking back at a disgruntled West.

"Yeah," he mumbles, kicking at the carpet. "Come on, lets keep this tour
going."

Is West Love...embarrassed?

"You were so cute!"

I exclaim, causing him to blush lightly.

This must be a dream. I made West Love blush.

"What happened?"

I ask, causing his blush to disperse and a scowl to make its way onto his
face.

He walks out of the room with an eyeroll. "Let's just get this tour over with,
yeah?"

I follow him as he goes to the narrow hallway containing three white doors.
The walls of this hallway are cream, the ceiling low like the rest of the
house. Right at the base of the hallway is the first door, and the rest follow
in a zig zag motion. Then the hall opens into a kitchen.

West opens the first and I peek inside to see a small bathroom. The floors
are tiled, the sink covered in toiletries and the faucet slightly rusted. The lid
on the toilet is crooked, but the curtain for the shower is bright blue and free
of wrinkles.

The next door holds his little brothers room, but I don't get much of a look
into it. All I see is a single bed, a dresser, and bright orange walls.

"I don't know why he chose that color." West mumbles with an eyeroll.

I shrug, "

It gives his room character.

"

He scowls, "That's what my mom said."

We walk to the final door, which I'm assuming leads into West's room. I feel
myself becoming excited to get to see his room. It's not that I've wondered
what it looks like, but now that I'm just seconds from finding out, hundred
of possibilities run through my head. In a way, I feel sort of special to get to
see what his room looks like.
I don't know West super well, but from what I've seen...he doesn't seem
much like the type of person to bring girl after girl into his home. Come to
think of it, he's never once mentioned his home life to me before.

"Ready for the ultimate revealing?" He jokes, smirking down at me.

I chuckle at him and nod,

"Just open the door so I can see how much of a pig you are."

He turns the knob and swings the white, wooden door open. West walks
into his room and switches on the light, and out of everything, the first thing
I notice is his color of choice that fills his walls; dark blue.

One would think dark walls would make the room itself dark, but with the
white comforter that covers his bed, and the white pillows and white blinds
to go along with it, his room is nowhere close to dark. The two colors
contrast beautifully.

It's bigger than his brother's room, but is still only half the size of my room.
His bed is pressed against the wall and takes up the far corner, and across
from it rests his dresser. He doesn't have a desk in his room for homework,
there's no room for one, but he does have a small bedside table. His room is
barely able to occupy what he has in it now. The walls of his room are only
partially covered up by a few posters. Two of The Eagles, one of Queen,
and one of Green Day, the rest of his dark walls open for more.

What I find the most interesting is how clean his room is. There's not a
single stray sock on the floor nor a wrinkle on his bed. Not one of his
posters are hanging off the wall, and even his bedside table is neat. I was
more than expecting his room to look like a tornado had run through it.

Then, my eyes spot the guitar in the corner of his room and it catches my
attention. There are pick marks along the dark wood, proving the love this
guitar has had. I walk over towards it, tilting my head as I look at West.

"Guitar?"
I sign, and with how obvious the sign for guitar is, he picks up on what my
sign means.

"You play?"

West shrugs, "A little. I write a little, too."

My jaw drops and I quickly pull out my phone to type out my reaction.

'How come you didn't tell me that when I played for you?'

He walks over to me, standing behind me as he reads my phone over my

shoulder. I feel his warm breath on my neck from how close he is, and I
conceal the shiver that runs down my spine.

Once he reads my response he shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets as I
look at him over my shoulder. He walks over and sits on his bed, eyeing his
guitar before glancing at me.

"Because that was your moment, Sunshine. Not mine. Besides, my songs
are nothing to the extent of yours. I just mess around on my guitar and hum
a few lyrics. You clearly have a special connection with your music."

"How come you didn't at least say that you play the guitar?"

I sign.

He smirks at me, "Well, I couldn't show off too much. I don't want you
thinking I'm cocky or something."

I give him a sarcastic smile,

"No, never."

Then I walk over to his guitar and pick it up with a tiny, mischievous grin.
He watches me closely as I walk over to him and set it down, typing on my
phone.
'I think you didn't say anything because you aren't really that good. Play me
something?'

He reads it over and smiles, grabbing his guitar to accept my challenge.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Something you wrote."

"Sunshine, I told you I don't really write-"

I cut him off by lifting my hand, quickly typing onto my phone again. He
patiently waits for my response, randomly strumming.

'

I don't believe that. That guitar looks like its been loved, and anyone with
an instrument that loved is bound to have written something.'

West reads my phone once I toss it to him, lifting his eyes to me once he
finishes. I see the debate going on in his head when his brows subtly
furrow, and then he gives a small, lopsided smile.

"I do have one song."

I smile widely at him, coming to sit next to him on his bed as he adjusts the
guitar in his arms. I sense the nerves in his posture when he takes in a
breath, letting it out slowly through his nose.

"I'm really not a great-"

"Just play the song,"

I sign with a smile, nudging his shoulder.

He looks at me and sighs, but I don't miss the small smile playing at his
lips.

He starts strumming. His head gently nodding to keep his beat as he eyes
the strings and the position of his fingers. The melody instantly shocks me
from how gentle it is, how beautiful it sounds. And only seconds in and I'm
already lost in the notes.

"I was just waiting for something to believe in,

Something to come my way.

Spend my day staring at the sky,

Trying to figure out what to say.

All this pain around me,

Why won't it go away?"

I get engrossed in the sound of his voice, in the breathtaking way it dances
with the chords he plays. His fingers effortlessly pluck the strings, sliding
along the neck of the guitar as he switches notes as though he's been doing
this for years.

"I'

m tired, so tired of this.

My soul's too heavy and I can't carry it.

I'm tired, so tired of this.

Where did the kindness go?

When did being good get old?

It's hard sometimes but I'm never gonna give up on hope."

He closes his eyes and lets his song take him over. It's obvious how
emotional this song is for him from the focused expression on his face,
picturing what this song means to him. I get lost in the lyrics, trying to
figure out what they must mean to him, because they already have a
meaning for me.
"Everywhere I go there's people telling me what to do.

Every damn word coming out of their mouths,

Well it never seems to be true.

All this noise and fury,

It breaks my heart in two."

I watch his fingers dance across the guitar. His eyes are still closed as he
plays from pure memory, body fully relaxed and slowly swaying with his
song. As he continues, his voice fills with more emotion.

"I'm tired, so tired of this.

My soul's too heavy and I can't carry it.

I'm tired, so tired of this.

Where did the kindness go?

When did being good get old?

It's hard sometimes but I'm never gonna give up on hope."

West takes in a small breath, shaking his head before going back into the
song.

"So for now I'm just doing my best to be kind.

You never know where a person has been,

Or what they've left behind.

Beneath all this difference we're just sharing time.

I'm tired, so tired of this.

My soul's too heavy and I can't carry it.

Where did the kindness go?

When did being good get old?

It's hard sometimes but I'm never gonna give up on hope."

He plays the last chord out with his final word, and the song finishes to the
silence of the room. West opens his eyes but doesn't instantly look at me.
He keeps his gaze trained ahead as he grips his guitar, lost in his thoughts.
He clears his throat after a moment or two and forces a smirk, clearly trying
to cover up his emotional response to his song.

"I told you, I'm really not a song writer," he says.

"Are you kidding? West, that was amazing."

He reads my signs and cracks a small smile, looking away.

"I wrote it in juvie, a few months in. I don't...I don't fully know what it
means. But," he pauses, squinting his eyes as he searches for the right
explanation, "when I went there...it was my lowest point. It was really
tough to see what was surrounding me. So much hate was drilled into me.
And as much as I wanted to succumb to that hate that was all around me, I
knew doing that really would mean losing. Losing to what, I don't even
know. But...the same can be said for a lot of the guys there. We had to fight
to keep that hope alive, you know?"

I frown at him, understanding exactly what he means in ways I wish I didn't

have to. Holding onto hope when it feels like the world around you is
crumbling is one of the hardest things you can do.

"No connection to your music?"

I sign with a small smile, referring to his comment earlier.

"Thank you for sharing it with me."

West meets my eyes, and I conclude the song may have been more about
him than the guys he's referring to.

"You shared a personal song with me, seemed fair I do the same."

I suddenly realize just how much it must mean to West to have me over. To
show me where he lives. To play that song for me. I could have harshly
judged his home, this neighborhood, and even his song. But he trusted that I
wouldn't. And it hits me how much I must secretly trust him to let him go
into my personal song book and sing a song that important to me. He and I
are closer than I have given this friendship credit for.

"Raine," he says gently, and I focus on him instead of my thoughts, "you

know you can trust me, right?"

My mouth goes dry as I stare into his unguarded eyes, and I see how sincere
he is. My heart starts pounding harder, and even though I don't know how to
respond, I feel myself nodding. Because I believe him. And that thought
scares me.

Before I have the chance to respond anymore, my ears pick up the sound of
the front door unlocking and then opening up. West doesn't break eye
contact with me, and his captivating gaze refuses to let me look away.

"West! I'm home." A feminine voice hollers, forcing us to break our stare.

West sighs and places his guitar on the ground, a small smile appearing as
he glances at his door and stands up.

"Come on, it's just my mom."

---

10/1/2020 - This chapter has the same overall premise, however I'm sure
you RR's can tell how different it actually is. I included another song,
WHICH I DID NOT WRITE. It is called 'Something to Believe In" by
Allman Brown. I felt it fit perfectly for West and his mindset in juvie and
how it has shaped a part of him. I wanted to include juvie's toll on West's
character more with these edits. The entire scene of them together in his
room was re-written :) Mostly everything else was kept the same. I hope you
guys enjoyed it!

I will be posting the original, unedited version in its own separate book
once I have fully completed these edits!
Chapter Seventeen (Edited
10/2/2020)
Attached cover made by

Shall_Know_Pain

love your pfp!

Silently Falling: Chapter Seventeen

West opens the door from his room and heads out into the hallway. His song
is still resonating through my ears, and his words afterwards are too. I
finally find my feet and stand up, following him out of his room when it
syncs in that I'm about to meet his mom.

I'm meeting West Love's mom.

I didn't imagine my junior year going quite this way.

I sheepishly peek around the door and see West embracing his mom, his
large build completely engulfing her so that I can't see her. They pull apart
and I finally get a look at Ms. Love, and I'm completely taken aback.

She's beautiful.

Her long blonde hair falls around her shoulders in a slight frizz,
accentuating how shockingly blue her eyes are. They're nearly the complete
opposite of West's dark brown eyes, but beautiful all the same. I also note a
small, discolored scar on her left cheek, right by her ear. It's no bigger than
maybe a half an inch, but the scar tissue is obvious on her tanned skin. She's
clearly in shape; she has the body of a teenager. Honestly, she could pass
for a college student because I would have guessed her to be West's older
sister if I didn't know any better.
"She's...a girl." Are the first words from her mouth.

I'm so glad you noticed.

West stares at her weirdly.

"Yeah..."

That's when she gets excited.

"Oh my gosh! My little boy brought a girl home! And she's so beautiful!
This must be the girl that's got you in such a good mood!" She squeals
before running the short distance towards me.

I let out a small grunt of surprise as she pulls me in for a hug, and
thankfully she matches my height so I'm not awkwardly offered a face full
of boobs. I awkwardly hug her back as she squeezes me half to death. When
she pulls away, she keeps her dainty hands on my arms and her head snaps
towards West who is amusedly watching from the sidelines.

"Why wouldn't you tell me you have a girlfriend?" She pouts.

Uh.

"How long have you two been dating? Why did you keep denying you had
a girlfriend when I asked? How did you two meet?" She continues to ask
him, leaving no room for him to answer as she continues to shoot off
question after question.

I wait for West to cut her off and correct her, but he never does. Instead, a
smirk slides across his lips as he looks at me, a lightbulb appearing above
his head.

Shit.

"I wanted to wait for the right moment." He drawls and I narrow my eyes at
him.

He wouldn't.
He walks towards me and throws an arm around my shoulders, making his
mom's hands fall from my arms and cover her lips to hide a squeal. "I
thought the appropriate time would be when we both finally admitted our
undying love for one another."

I'm going to kill him.

I shove West off of me with a deep scowl.

"Tell her we aren't dating!"

He pouts, "Babe, don't be like that." He whines, trying to pull me in for a

hug.

I put my arms out in front of me to keep him away. I'm sure we look like
fools to his no doubt confused mother. I send him a hard glare to get my
message across, since I can't really talk while holding him back. The glare
works and he chuckles, stepping back while putting his hands up in
surrender.

"Damn Sunshine, if looks could kill I would be six feet under," he turns to
his mom, "we aren't dating, mom. We're just friends. This is Raine, the one I
told you about?"

She watches us with a small smirk, "Uh huh... Well, I'm Libba. West's
mother."

I smile and stick out my hand, but she just pulls me back in for another hug.
My eyes widen as I get pulled against her chest and I awkwardly hug her
again. I smile at her as she pulls away, and I see the slight confusion in her
eyes as I don't say anything.

I glance at West who seems to just now be realizing the dilemma here and
he steps up.

"Raine is mute," he explains. "She uses sign language to talk." He says,

smiling down at me.
His mom's eyes widen and she looks at her son. "How did she hear you
when you were talking then?" She asks in amazement.

I bite my lip to hide my smile, trying my hardest not to laugh.

West nearly face palms, shaking his head in embarrassment. "Mom...I said
mute, not deaf. Raine can hear, she just can't talk."

Libba's face flushes and she sheepishly smiles, shrugging her shoulders.
"My bad, but it's wonderful to meet you, Raine."

I offer her a friendly smile and glance at West. "

Translate?"

West's eyes shine and he nods, carefully watching my hands as I sign to her.

"It's nice to meet you too." He says aloud, and I smile in approval.

Libba's eyes widen a considerable degrees as she looks at her son. "You
know sign language? West, how did I not know this?!" She exclaims,
slapping his shoulder.

He flinches back. "Goddamn, between the two of you I'm going to lose an
arm."

Now I slap him, "

Don't curse in front of your mother

."

He scowls at me and holds his arm before looking back at his mother.

"What did she say?"

"Don't curse in front of your mother." He mutters.

Libba laughs and sends her kind smile towards me, "I like you, Raine. Slap
him whenever you want, he could use the extra discipline."

I smile back at her, blushing slightly, and nod my agreement.

"Such a great mother..." West sulks.

Libba ignores him and turns to me. "Are you staying for dinner?" She asks,
her bright blue eyes light with welcome.

I glance at West in hopes of him translating.

"I don't want to intrude."

Instead, the beginnings of a smile fill his lips and he turns to his mom. "She
would love to."

Libba's eyes brighten even more. "Perfect! You aren't a vegetarian or

anything, right dear?" She asks.

West laughs, "I've seen her devour three McDoubles and a large fry in two
minutes. She's definitely not a vegetarian."

I narrow my eyes at him, lightly slapping his shoulder again that causes him
to scowl.

"Okay, great, this was fun but in order to ensure I don't get abused again,
Raine and I need to get back to our homework," West mutters.

Libba chuckles as West heads towards his room, grumbling under his
breath. She smiles at me, "I'm going to go get started on dinner, you two
have fun."

I head to West's room and see him lounging on his bed with his guitar in his
arms. He's sitting in the corner with his back against his wall, sitting against
his extra pillow.

"Well she seemed to like you," he hums as he strums randomly.

I sit down next to him and smirk,

"What's not to like?"

West pauses his strumming and chuckles, "Alright, ready to start on your
Chorus lyrics?"

I nod, grabbing my Chorus song book from my backpack. I place it in my

lap as I rest my back against the wall, sitting on the end of West's bed. I flip
to the pages filled with the notes, and he sets his guitar next to him,
scooting closer to read it with me. His arm brushes against mine but I don't
instantly flinch away. Instead, I relax into the feeling and we begin working
on the lyrics together.

Around a half hour later, Libba knocks on his door and pokes her head
inside. I notice her eye our close proximity with a tiny grin before she
washes that look away and nods to West.

"Hey, it's six o'clock."

West nods at his mom and she walks back into the kitchen. West sighs and
pushes off of his bed, glancing back at me with a grin.

"Come on Sunshine, you've got one more member of the Love family to
meet."

He grabs his shoes that he had neatly placed by his door, kneeling down to
start putting them on. He glances over at my confused expression and
chuckles.

"I've gotta go pick up my little brother from after school daycare," he

explains, and I follow him as we head out of his room and to the front door.

"We'll be back in a half hour mom, try not to burn the place down!" He
calls, grabbing his keys from the small table.

"Ha-ha," I hear her sarcastic laugh from down the hall in the kitchen, "Have
I mentioned how much I love having you back home?"
West snorts at her response. "Be back soon," he calls before unlocking the
front door and stepping outside.

West shuts the door behind me, instantly locking it back up with his keys. I
wait close by him as the fall chill hits me full blast. Now that the sun has
started to go down so early, it's significantly colder without the warmth
brought on by the sunlight. If only my nickname meant I could radiate
warmth. The cold air makes my cheeks freeze and then go numb, and I
quickly throw my hands into my jean pockets so they don't suffer the same
fate.

West finishes locking the door and walks down his sidewalk with me right
next to his side. I steal some of his warmth from how close he is to me, his
jacket brushing against me. When he sees the same two guys walking down
the gravel road, he once again places his hand on the small of my back for
me to pick up my pace a little and get to his Jeep quicker.

He opens my door for me and I shuffle in as he jogs over to his side, and I
notice the lack of a second car in his driveway.

"Where's your moms car?"

West glances at my hands as he starts the Jeep and turns on the heat,
throwing it into reverse. He places his hand on the back of my headrest and
watches the back window as he backs out of his driveway.

"She rides the bus to and from work, the stop is just a block from the house.
That's why my little brother goes to daycare, neither of us can pick him up
from school and there are no school busses that would drop him off close
enough to the house. My mom and I aren't comfortable letting him walk
alone for more than a block," he mutters as the car bounces along the road.

My heart tugs at the embarrassment in his tone, wanting to be able to say

that he doesn't need to be embarrassed at all.

"Where's his daycare?"

I ask as he approaches another stop sign.

"I'm going to assume that last word was daycare. It's about fifteen minutes
from my place. It's closer to your house." He explains, reaching for the
radio as we exit his part of town. "As a matter of fact, it's just down the road
from your place. Like five minutes." He says as he turns it on and finds a
station he likes.

I glance out the window as we drive back the way we came down the
highway. Then, as we approach a stoplight, my head swivels to face West.

"How old is your brother? What's his name?"

West chuckles as he turns down a road just a few before my own. "He's in
fourth grade, which makes him nine. His name is Casper."

We pull into the parking lot of a building painted with a smorgasbord of

colors. It looks like the rainbow puked on it, leaving a beautiful disaster in
it's place. The sign resting just above the two front doors is made to look
like an elementary school kid wrote it, complete with letters written
backwards and a dripped paint look.

Kids 'R' Kids.

I smile at West as he parks, all of the sudden feeling giddy.

"

I love that sign!

" I exclaim, unbuckling along with him.

"Really?" He asks, giving me a weird look as we get out.

I nod, "

It's cute.

"

He smirks as we cross the parking lot. "Like you." He says slyly.

My face heats up and I turn my head away so that he can't catch the redness
on my cheeks. West heads to the front desk, confidence pooling off of him
as it always does. He doesn't seem to let the rumors that float around him
bother him, and it makes envy burn within me. I was a shell of my former
self all through ninth grade because of the rumors that were told about me.

"Hey West." The girl at the desk says with a light smile.

She looks to be in her mid-twenties, with a smile worth a million dollars. I

wonder if she was blessed with such perfect teeth or if thousands of dollars
were put into them. Her black hair is pulled into a side braid, resting gently
on her shoulder. Her eyes are dark green, making the tan of her face much
more prominent.

"Hey Grace," he greets.

Grace's eyes drift from West and land on me where I awkwardly stand off to
the side. Question fills her eyes as her smile directs itself at me.

"Who's this?" She asks kindly.

West glances over at me and smiles lightly. "This is my friend, Raine. She's
been teaching me sign language." He explains, nodding for me to come
closer.

"Oh, really? That's awesome, it's nice to meet you Raine."

I smile and nod at her to give my greeting.

"Raine actually can't talk," West explains when Grace tilts her head in
confusion when I don't say anything. "She communicates with sign
language, hence the lessons."

Grace's green eyes light up with interest and she looks back at me. "That's
amazing, were you born without a voice?" She asks, tilting her head
slightly.

I shake my head and begin to sign, wanting to give West a chance to show
off his knowledge.
"I've been mute since 9th grade."

West translates for me, his posture showing the slight pride he feels. Grace's
eyebrows lift in amazement and she smiles at him.

"Look at you, learning sign language for a girl." She says, winking at him.

I start to chuckle and cover my mouth with my hand, glancing up at him.

He blushes slightly and shakes his head.

"Let's just go get my brother." He mutters, walking down the hall.

"It was nice to meet you, Raine!" Grace says as I rush to follow West.

I send her a smile over my shoulder and then fall into step beside him. West
stops in front of one of the many rooms and steps inside the door frame.

I peek over his shoulder into the hectic room. There are at least fifteen kids;
some are coloring, others are playing with Lego's, and a few are playing on
the computers. But my eyes take special notice to the one kid sitting off to
the side reading a small chapter book.

He glances up when the other kids shout West's name, and as he does a
wide smile fills his mouth. He jumps to his feet, setting his book down on
the beanbag he was occupying and runs towards West.

He throws his arms around West's legs in a hug that causes West to smile
widely and pat his back.

"Hey little man, you ready to go?" West asks, smiling down at the boy I
assume is Casper.

He nods widely. "Let me get my backpack!" He exclaims before running

towards the back to grab a small, Superman backpack. He shoves the book
he had been reading inside of it and runs back to West. "I'm ready!"

He grins and pushes off the door frame, "Let's go. There's someone I want
you to meet."
I wait outside the door and as they exit the room, Casper's eyes land on me.
He has his mother's eyes, a light and icy blue that accentuates his brown
hair.

"Hi." He says shyly, staying close to his brother's side.

"This is my friend Raine." West says, kneeling down next to his brother.

Casper avoids eye contact with me and nods. West sighs and looks at me
rather apologetically.

"He's shy.

" He signs.

I chuckle,

"I can tell.

"

West rolls his eyes at me and stands up straight. Then he seems to get an
idea and nods at his brother. "Hey, Casper. You wanna learn the alphabet in
sign language?"

That catches Casper's attention and he shifts his attention to his brother.
"Sign language? Why?"

"Raine uses sign language to talk."

Casper looks back at me with newfound wonder in his blue eyes. I can tell
his shyness is chipping away as every second passes. "Really? Like...Helen
Keller? We just learned about her!"

I have to stifle a laugh from his only connection to ASL and recall the
stories I used to have to read in elementary school about Helen Keller. An
odd person to learn about as a nine-year-old, but a good segue into learning
about ASL. When I was a kid, learning about Helen Keller was followed by
learning the ASL alphabet, and my smile falters a little when I discover they
must have stopped teaching it.

I nod,

"It's true.

"

His eyes brighten in excited curiosity. "What did she say?" He asks, tugging
on West's leather jacket.

"She said it's true."

Casper glances back at me in amazement. "Wow..."

"Mom has dinner ready back at home so we've got to go, but maybe, if you
ask nicely, Raine will teach you a few things at dinner." West says,
beginning to walk down the hallway.

He takes Casper's hand in his own, and Casper glances up at me with wide,
innocent eyes and a big smile.

"Would you?"

I smile at him and nod, "

Of course.

"

His head swivels back to his brother as he tugs on his hand. "What did she
say?!"

"She said of course." West says, messing up Casper's hair.

He looks back at me and smiles widely.

Well I guess that moment of shyness was short lived.

He tugs on West's leather jacket again and gestures for him to lean down.
He does so and Casper whispers something in his ear. West looks over at me
and smiles. "I definitely agree."

I raise a brow, "

What did he say

?" I ask.

He smiles and shrugs, "It's confidential."

OoO

We get back to dinner ready for us, plates set on the table and everything.
West locks the door behind us as Casper runs to his mother, jumping into
her arms with a giddy smile.

"Mom! Did you know West's friend is going to teach me sign language?"
He asks, voice going a mile a minute.

Libba chuckles and glances over at me with a twinkle in her eyes that are a
spitting image of Casper's.

"Is that so? Well, that's very nice of her to teach my two boys a new skill."

West chuckles and peels Casper off of his mom.

"Go wash up for dinner, little man." He says, and Casper runs off to the
bathroom. "It smells really good, mom."

I nod my agreement as we head to the kitchen table, taking the seat next to
West. Casper appears seconds later, practically leaping into his seat across
from West who eyes him with playful suspicion.

"You washed your hands that quickly?"

"Yep!"
"With soap?" He asks, and Casper's face flushes red.

"Of course!" He says quickly, voice an octave higher.

"Let me smell your hands, then."

Casper's eyes widen and he sheepishly glances down at his hands, "I guess I
could use a little more," he mumbles, getting off of his chair and walking
back down the short hallway to the bathroom.

I snicker at the little interaction, catching West's eye as he chuckles too.

"You've got to stay on top of that one," he says with a shrug.

Libba brings over the bowl of spaghetti and places it down in the middle of
the small, square table with a bowl of salad next to it. She sits across from
me with a kind smile while we wait for Casper to come running back to the
table.

"Raine, can you teach me the alphabet now?" He asks with an excited
smile.

"How about after we eat?"

I sign while West interprets for me.

Casper pouts, "We've had spaghetti three times in a row now."

West and Libba cringe a little at his comment, looking at me from the
corner of their eyes. As though ashamed that they have such a low budget
they have to eat the same food over and over again. But they have no reason
to feel judged by me. I make the same meal nearly every day for me and
Toby.

I smile and go ahead and grab some, loading a little onto my plate.

"I'm jealous, I love spaghetti."

West's shoulders relax at my comment as he interprets for Casper and
Libba, and I notice Libba's tense smile turn more genuine as well, and
everyone else begins to scoop some onto their plates.

"So Raine, are you a senior as well?"

I shake my head, and West clarifies for me since my hands are occupied
with the salad bowl as I put some on my plate.

"She's a junior, but we have English together."

Libba nods, twirling her spaghetti around her fork.

"I heard you and West working on a song earlier, was that for English or
another class?"

Rather than needing West to interpret everything for me, he scoots his chair
out and grabs the dinner whiteboard from off of their fridge, handing it to
me along with the attached marker.

"Here you go, Sunshine."

His mom quirks an intrigued brow at his nickname, but she doesn't say
anything aside from letting a tiny smirk fill her lips that she tries to hide
behind her fork-full of spaghetti.

'That was for my Music class,'

I write.

'I'm in chorus and I write the music for some of our concerts.'

Libba reads it over and her eyes widen in admiration. "That's very
impressive, and West is helping you out?"

I smile at him and scribble down my next sentence.

'Now that I know he writes a little bit of his own music, I had to get his
help.'
West chuckles, smiling behind his bite of salad.

"West writes really cool songs!" Casper says, spaghetti sauce smeared on
his cheek.

West snorts, "Hey Casper, you got a little something right there," he says,
gesturing to his own cheek.

Casper wipes it away with the back of his hand, causing Libba to grumble
and pointedly hand him his napkin.

"What kind of songs do you write, Raine?"

'Nothing special.'

I write shyly, but West shakes his head.

"She's being humble, she showed me one of her songs the other day. It was
amazing."

I glance shyly at West and he sends me a wink as he scoops some salad into
his mouth, chewing with his trademarked smirk as Libba responds.

"Are your parents into music as well? I don't know the first thing about how
to play the guitar, but West picked it up a few years ago."

That comment causes me to hesitate and quickly take a bite of food as I

think through what to respond with. West awkwardly drops his fork onto his
plate, because he knows the awkward situation with my parents.

'My mom was really into music, I play on her piano.'

I choose to write with a forced smile.

"Does she still play?"

From the corner of my eye, I notice West send his mom a pointed look that
clearly says 'stop prying.'
I smile awkwardly,

'She passed away when I was little.'

Libba's smile disappears into a frown and she drops her eyes to her food.
"I'm sorry, Raine. I didn't know."

"It's okay, Raine. We only have one parent too," Casper says from his seat,
his innocent personality shining through. "But mom is awesome, so we
don't really need dad around."

His comment sends a wave of silence through the room, and Libba
awkwardly wipes her mouth with her napkin. I just smile at Casper, unsure
of what to write. West quickly changes the course of the conversation by
asking Casper about his day at school, and I note the tightness to his tone.
He's never told me anything about his personal life aside from inviting me
over today. Of course I noticed his lack of a father presence, but I didn't
want to pry, and it seems he doesn't want to get into that conversation any
time soon.

By the end of dinner, Casper is sure to remind me to teach him the alphabet
and I go through it with him. The tension his earlier comment brought drifts
away while I teach him, and West pokes fun at him a few times when he
can't quite get the hand movements down. Libba begins to clean up dinner
while I teach Casper, West eventually leaving the table to help her. Once
I've taught Casper and everything is cleaned up, it's already eight and I get
ready for West to take me home.

'Thank you so much for dinner, it was delicious.

' I write on my phone, showing it to Libba as West and I walk to the front
door.

She reads it over and smiles at me. "It was no problem, you come over
whenever you want." She says, pulling me in for a hug. "It's about time my
boy brings a girl home." She says as we pull apart.

I chuckle softly and let a smile overcome my lips. '

It was nice to meet you.'

"You too, sweetie." She says.

"Raine!" Casper calls, quickly walking up to me.

"Goodbye.

" He signs, a proud smile on his lips.

I chuckle, '

You remembered!'

I type, showing him my phone.

He nods, blushing slightly. "When can we have another lesson?" He asks.

I glance at West and then back at Casper. '

I'm not sure, maybe the next time I come over.

'

He frowns as he reads it. "Well when will that be?"

'

That's up to your brother.'

Casper walks up to West. "You had better invite Raine over soon! She's
awesome."

West places his hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay. Just take it easy man."

I chuckle and he glances over at me with a smile. "I'm going to take Raine
home, I'll be back in about a half hour." He says, opening the front door.
I wave another goodbye at the two of them before stepping out into the cold
weather. It's pitch black out, the sky covered with clouds. I pull my small
sweater tighter around my body as we walk down his steps and sidewalk
and finally to his car.

"I had fun.

" I sign as he cranks up the heat.

"I'm sorry about my mom interrogating you at dinner. I didn't know she'd
ask about your mom."

"Don't be. She was sweet, you have a great family."

West smiles at me, "They're alright."

I chuckle but don't respond.

"You know, I think Casper may have a crush on you." He jokes.

"He's a good kid,"

I sign as I chuckle.

West glances at my hands and grins, "He is, isn't he?"

We arrive at my house a short while later and I thank West again as I

unbuckle. We both get out and he walks me to the front door.

"Thank you for having me over, I know it must have meant a lot to let me
meet your family."

West carefully reads my hands and then lifts his gaze to meet my own.

"It did," he agrees gently, but then shifts his feet and looks down as he
clears his throat. "Thanks for not...judging too hard. I know I don't live in
the best neighborhood, and I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable at all-"
I gently cover his hands with my own to cut him off, and he snaps his eyes
to meet mine as I offer a small smile.

"I didn't. I had a good time."

West matches my smile before taking on a more serious, yet still soft, tone.

"Sunshine, I meant what I said earlier. About you being able to trust me," he
says, "I'd never hurt you."

My heart does a little flip as I subtly swallow the sudden lump in my throat.

"I know."

But you don't know just how scary it is for me to trust you. To believe you.
To realize that I'm letting you get close to me when I have so much I still
need to hide.

He searches my eyes a little longer before dropping my gaze and stepping

back. His previous expression is now masked with his signature smirk as he
starts down my porch, pausing once he reaches the bottom step.

"Oh, also-" he starts, digging into his back pocket, "here you go."

He tosses me my keys and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head. Did he

have these the entire time?

"Relax, Sunshine. I found them lodged into your seat in the Jeep when we
got to my place," he says with a small chuckle, "Good luck with your
presentation of the song tomorrow in Chorus, I'll see you later."

Without waiting for my response, he shoves his hands into his jacket
pockets and heads back to his Jeep, sending me one more smile before
opening the door and getting in and driving off. I step inside and, as I close
the door behind me, I become aware of the giant smile on my lips.

---
10/2/2020 - Okay, so the beginning of this chapter remained the same
(Raine meeting Libba), as did the scene with them going to pick up Casper
from daycare. However, I added the dinner scene and the ending scene on
the porch! Hope y'all enjoyed this chapters edits :) Please don't hesitate to
comment on the new lines!

I have also noticed a lot of confused comments about Casper being in

daycare, so I want to clarify. He is 9 years old and goes to an AFTER
SCHOOL daycare. So, instead of taking the bus home when school lets out,
he takes the bus to daycare. I was in an after school daycare until I was in
5th grade because my mom wouldn't let me stay home alone and she didn't
get off work until 5:30. It's very normal- and as for him being able to
read....I read The Hunger Games trilogy in 5th grade, so it's not unusual for
a 4th grader to be able to read haha. I would be worried if he couldn't.
Hope that cleared some things up!
Chapter Eighteen (Edited
10/6/2020)
Amazing cover done by erca-bush

Last chapter only got 17 votes :( At this rate, I won't be reaching my goal of
1k votes before chapter twenty :( :(

10/6/2020 - Fully edited this chapter for you guys! Made some additions, I
hope you enjoy them hehe. Please, please, please, get those comments back
up! It's hard for me to lose so many comments to the edited lines, I miss
reading them!

Silently Falling: Chapter Eighteen

Friday

Toby was still at Tyler's when West dropped me off last night, so it was a
good thing West "found" my keys or else I wouldn't have been able to get
inside. He came home late last night, and again tonight he most likely won't
be back until two or three.

Mr. C absolutely loved the song I presented to him this morning. He praised
the lyrics more than any of my previous songs, but I made sure to leave that
part out when I told about it West today during lunch. I didn't want him to
make some cocky remark like I knew he would, and I had to kick Alyse
under the table when she went to give the same praise to the lyrics.

Truth is, West wrote the majority of them. I give credit to the fact singing
along to his guitar was easier than singing to my piano, and doing so made
the lyrics come to him quicker than they had me. But, even though that's
what I've convinced myself, I am well aware of West's song writing ability.
The song he played for me yesterday said it all. He writes with deep
emotion, songs that mean something special, and songs that provide a
looking glass into his life if you know what you're looking for.

He writes like me.

The sudden dark flash of my TV takes me out of my thoughts when Netflix

crosses a message across the screen.

Are you still watching?

I grab the remote that's hidden somewhere in the couch cushion and quickly
click "yes" and The Vampire Diaries

comes back on. This is a standard Friday night for me. The guys are all out
at some party on the other side of town, and this time Alyse tagged along. I
don't mind, though. While she's probably dressed in some uncomfortable
tube top with some typical pair of high-waisted jeans, I'm able to throw on
one of Toby's sweatshirts along with some Nike Pro spandex and snuggle
underneath my blanket.

I have a bowl of grapes next to me on my right, and popcorn on my right. I

started watching Netflix around eight, and I've flown through nearly six
episodes. I glance at my phone, tapping the screen for it to light up, and my
eyes nearly pop out of my head when I notice the time.

It's two in the morning.

I don't usually binge watch this long without Alyse by my side. With a yawn
I exit out of Netflix to actually head upstairs and get some sleep. However,
as soon as I shut the TV off and darkness consumes the room, I hear an
engine rev into my driveway. My heart stops and then begins to pound
harder as I scramble up off the couch that is in clear view of the parted
curtains and hide behind it. Toby usually texts when he's headed home, and
there was definitely no messages on my phone when I checked the time a
minute ago.

A minute or two later I hear loud knocking on the front door and I throw the
blanket over top of me, hoping that will somehow fix this insignificant
problem. But as I peek around the couch and out the parted curtains, I take
note of the old, black Jeep Grand Cherokee in the driveway. I let out a huge
sigh and stand up, throwing the blanket onto the couch before padding
down the hardwood floor to the front door. As I unlock and pull the door
open, I do a double take at the sight in front of me.

West is supporting a very drunk Toby and Gray under each arm. Their eyes
are half closed as they barely stand on their feet, and West has an annoyed
scowl stuck to his face when Toby loudly hiccups and leans even more of
his drunk weight onto West.

As soon as I step out of the way, he pulls them into the living room and
drops them onto the couch, quickly stretching out his back as soon as they
fall into a heap on the cushions.

"Jesus they're heavy." He breathes.

"How much did they have to drink?"

I walk over to the couch and lift Toby's arm but get no reaction from him as
I drop it, and it falls with a small thud back onto his stomach.

West cracks his back, "Well, your brother stopped counting when he hit six,
and Gray over there started out drinking beer, then moved to vodka, and last
I saw he was taking shots of Tequila. So he's going to be feeling it in the
morning."

I groan and shut my eyes tight as I think through what idiotic things these
two probably did if they were that drunk.

"I had to get them away from the party because your brother had one too
many shots and started getting it on with the barstool, and then Geek
Charming over here thought he was wooing some chick by telling her all
about the Pythagorean Theorem."

I furrow my brow at his second statement,

"Wait...what's wrong with that?"

"Because he kept trying to convince her that the solution to every problem
was to make out with him, and her boyfriend was standing two feet away."

I nearly laugh at how ridiculous that story is before I register exactly what
he said about Toby.

"

Please tell me no one got videos of my brother.

" I sign, grimacing at the thought.

"No one but me," West smirks, waving his phone.

My eyes widen and then turn into slits as I glare at him. "

Delete it."

"No 'please'?"

I continue to glare at him, and he ends up laughing.

"Relax, Sunshine. I'm kidding, I pulled him away before anyone could get
their phones out, unfortunately including myself."

"I-I was doing no such thing," Toby suddenly hiccups, lolling his head to
the side towards us with drunk-ridden eyes.

"You s-so were," Gray giggles next to him, slurring his words like crazy.

"Dude!" Toby exaggerates, "Not in front of my si-sister."

I roll my eyes and take in a deep breath, debating what to do with these two
drunk fools. However, as I stare both of them, newly passed out after their
drunken interruption, I feel West's eyes stuck on me. His eyes are slowly
trailing over my body, a darker shade of brown than usual, and I suddenly
remember the lack of clothing I have on. You can't even tell I'm wearing
spandex with how short they are, all you see is the end of Toby's sweatshirt.
Thank God I shaved this morning.

I awkwardly cough to get his attention, and his eyes snap from my legs to
meet my gaze.

"Thank you for getting their drunk asses home.

" I sign.

He smirks, "About time I get a thank you, Sunshine."

I roll my eyes at him and walk around the couch and towards the kitchen.

"You want something to eat?"

"Yeah, actually, I'm starved. There was nothing but beer and Jello shots at
the party."

He sits down on one of the barstools, cringing for a small second as he

glances at it.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to look at one of these again after seeing Toby
earlier."

"He can be pretty dumb when he's drunk,"

I sign slowly, spelling out the words I know he may not know.

He keeps up and chuckles, "Most people can. Tyler thought he was playing
Strip Pong and started taking off pieces of clothing whenever he missed a
shot."

"Please tell me someone stopped him."

West glances down at the table, reaching forward to the bowl of fruit and
messing with the random assortment.

"Tammy did...by taking him upstairs before he could take off his boxers."
Instead of frowning like West seems to have been anticipating, I find myself
chuckling at his name error.

"Tina?"

"Tammy, Tina. Same thing."

"Sort of like how you think Sunshine is the same as Raine?"

West carefully follows my signs to ensure he comprehends, and I'm

impressed when he does.

"No. 'Sunshine' is a fun nickname, I just forgot Tam-Tina's name."

I open the fridge instead of responding and glance at the different shelves to
find something to heat up for a late night snack. I find the Shrimp Scampi I
made for dinner earlier tonight, just a frozen meal that I had heated up, and
decide on that since the other option was week old taco meat. I heat it up
and dish it out for the both of us.

'I hope you aren't allergic to seafood.'

I write on the whiteboard that was stuck to the fridge.

He shakes his head. "Just strawberries."

"Wait, really?"

He nods.

"You had a sip of my pink drink yesterday."

West suddenly sits up and scrunches up his face, "Huh...you're right. Must
be extremely filled with fake flavoring," he finishes with a shrug. "I'm
definitely allergic, I had a whole crate of them as a kid and had to go to the
hospital and everything. Maybe it's just when I have a lot."

I smirk, "
I'll use that to my advantage

."

West smirks as well, "If I somehow survived that...advantage, you would

pay."

"

How so

?" I ask, twisting my fork back through my food.

He lifts his fork to his lips. "What's the worst thing you can think of?"

I purse my lips as I think. "

You taking me to bed.

"

West reads my hands and chokes on his bite of food. He coughs and a little
bit nearly falls out of his mouth, which he quickly covers with a napkin
before swallowing the rest of it. He avoids my eyes as he opens the water
bottle I quickly got for him, furrowing his brow. He suddenly looks almost
sympathetic as he drinks the water, still avoiding my gaze, and it confuses
me.

"I was kidding."

West glances at my hands and nods, taking another few sips as the
sympathy slowly melts away from his expression.

"You just caught me off guard, Sunshine."

"I can see that."

"I didn't wake you when I knocked, did I?" West asks, changing the subject.
I shake my head,

"I was watching Netflix."

West frowns, "I lost the last word."

I spell it out and his eyes light up when he figures it out. "Netflix! Gotcha,
sounds...productive."

I laugh, "

Yeah, I get pretty crazy on Friday nights

Speaking of getting crazy, how come you aren't drunk like my idiot brother?

"

He stares at my hands for a few seconds with furrowed eyebrows.

"Sunshine, it's, like, really late. You're going to have to slow down if you
want me to keep up."

I sigh and sign it again, this time slow enough for even his little brother to
comprehend.

"Ah, well I was the designated driver so I just kinda sat back and watched."

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Not really. Just a bunch of drunk teenagers grinding on one another and
puking on random objects."

I chuckle,

"Then why even go?"

"I was the designated driver. How come you didn't go?"

His question has me freezing and I quickly look away. I don't have a great
poker face and I don't want him to see the effect such a normal question has
on me. Because it shouldn't make my mind race with some lie to come up
with.

"I'm not really much for parties."

"Right," West says skeptically, and we fall into silence.

West suddenly stands from the barstool as I take our plates to the sink. He
walks to the fridge, scanning the countless pictures all over it before his
eyes focus on one. He takes it off of the fridge, examining it closely and I
try to crane my neck to see which one caught his attention. When I finally
get a look at the picture, my heart skips a beat.

It's the only picture on the fridge that my mother is in. It's our whole family;
Toby, myself, my father, and her. She's holding me in her arms, and my
father has Toby on his shoulders.

"Is this your mom?" West asks, not looking up from the picture.

I nod, and even though he doesn't look, he knows the answer.

"You look just like her," he comments, glancing over at me. But I avoid his
gaze.

I nod, my arms wrapping around my body as I suddenly feel completely

vulnerable. The entire mood of the room has shifted, and I know what
question is about to surface.

"You told my mom during dinner that you lost your mom when you were
just a kid...what happened?"

I look down at the floor as goosebumps rise on my skin. I knew West would
ask me about my mom eventually, but I still wasn't prepared for when he
did. I bite the inside of my bottom lip as I debate what to say, lifting my
eyes to meet West's. I examine him closely but don't find anything other
than genuine curiosity in his gaze. There's no reason not to tell him. He let
me meet his mother and I know how important that was to him, so doesn't
he deserve to know why I no longer have mine?

I walk towards him, grabbing the whiteboard from the table next to him, not
really wanting to sign the whole story.

'She died when I was 4.'

I start, and West stays back until I can write the whole story.

'It was a car accident. She had to pickup Toby from his soccer game
because my dad had to leave early to get me from daycare. On her way
there, a truck ran his stop sign and barreled into my moms side of the car.'

When I finish, my hands shaking, I step back for West to read it. And when
he does, his face clouds with sympathy as he looks at me. The sincerity in
his sad eyes and the gentle tone to his voice hits me with a sense of comfort.

"I'm sorry, Raine."

They say most people can't think back that far in their life, most people
can't recall any memories before the age of five, but I can. I can remember a
lot of my mother, but the day she died sticks out more than anything else. I
quickly look back down at the whiteboard so that West can't see the tears
shimmering in my eyes.

'They couldn't even tell us that she didn't suffer. When the paramedics got
there she was still alive and was even conscious, so she was undoubtedly in
pain. She was taken to the hospital-'

I pause, sniffling and blinking away a tear that falls onto my hand.

'-and fought for her life for two days before she lost her battle. I was just a
kid, but I fully understood what was happening. Why else would we be
spending those two nights in the hospital? Why else would our dad
accidentally wake us up in the middle of the night to the sound of his sobs
that he was trying his hardest to keep silent?'
I run out of room on the whiteboard and stop writing, clenching my eyes
tightly shut to withhold the rest of my tears. The familiar choking feeling
makes an appearance in the back of my throat as I try to swallow away my
sobs, my chin beginning to quiver.

West gently covers my hand clenching the marker, causing me to open my

tear filled eyes to meet his gaze. In doing so, a tear falls out of the inner
crevice of my eye and begins to fall down the line of my nose. West's
somber eyes notice and he takes his hand off of my own to catch the tear on
the pad of his thumb, lightly wiping it away on my cheek.

"I'm

so

sorry, Sunshine," he whispers sorrowfully.

More tears cloud my vision as I try hard not to blink so that they don't go
streaming down my face. Without words, West wraps his arms around me
and softly pulls me against his chest. The gesture has the sob that I was
desperately holding back coming out, and West holds me a little tighter. His
scent engulfs me as my body shakes with sobs that I try to keep inside. I
hug him tightly back, feeling his plaid shirt between my fingers as I fight to
control my pitiful whimpers.

West continues to hold me for as long as it takes for my shoulders to stop

shaking as my sobs subside and my tears finally slow. I carefully pull away
from him as I sniffle, already feeling an oncoming headache.

"Thank you for telling me," he says softly, keeping his arms around me. "I
didn't mean to push you."

I shake my head and am forced to completely pull away as I go back to the

whiteboard, wiping away what I had written before.

'You didn't push me, West. It's been a long time since I've told anyone about
what happened to her, and it hit me harder than I expected.'
"Your dad, though. He's coming home soon, yeah?" West asks, trying to
lighten the dull mood.

I sniffle again and use my hand to clear the whiteboard as I nod, 'He's flying
in tomorrow morning.'

"Any change of heart towards him coming home?" He asks gently.

"I miss him."

And I do. I miss the dad that went into care-mode when his wife died on
that hospital bed. I miss the dad that took care of Toby and me and loved us
even deeper because he suddenly learned just how quickly someone can be
taken from you. I miss the dad that was always here for us. For me.

'But I'd be lying if I said I didn't harbor some resentment.'

I write.

"Do you-" West starts, furrowing his brow and carefully choosing his next
words, "do you think your moms passing is part of the reason he's always
away?"

I smile sadly at him. Because he's right. This is the house they bought when
they had Toby. The house they raised us in. The house my mom left to go
pick Toby up from that soccer game. The house we were supposed to all
come back to that night for dinner. The house we were all supposed to be in
together today.

'I know he's always in New York because of his business, but I think it's
easier for him to leave when there are pictures everywhere to remind him of
what happened to her. They were madly in love and he couldn't keep up his
false happiness forever. I think he leaves so that Toby and I don't have to see
just how sad he really is. But...that doesn't give him an excuse to never be
here.'

West reads the whiteboard and sighs deeply, shaking his head.

"I can't imagine, Raine. And I'm really sorry."

"Thank you."

West offers me a small smile before sighing as he glances at the clock

behind me.

"It's nearly three, and I have to watch Casper tomorrow while my mom goes
to work. I should probably head home. Not to mention you should get some
sleep before your dad gets here tomorrow," he says softly.

I hide my disappointment and nod my agreement, and we head towards the

front door. West nods over to Toby and Gray still passed out on the couch.

"Will you be okay tonight with them?" He asks, getting his keys from his
pocket.

"I'll be okay, it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

West nods but awkwardly stands there instead of opening the door.

"What about you? You going to be okay?"

I divert my eyes from the two on the couch to meet his gaze and sigh.

"I will be. It will be good to see my dad tomorrow."

West nods before hesitating.

"I know it's probably not my place to say this, but I think you should talk to
him. You lost one parent, and I know it probably feels like you've lost
two...but you still have him, Raine. Even if it doesn't feel like it."

I stare at West, unsure of what to sign in response. He smiles slightly,

starting to open the door.

"Just think about it," he says. "He may not know how you feel."

I furrow my brow and look away, still unsure of what to say.

"Goodnight, Sunshine. And good luck with those two," he says, nodding to
them with a chuckle before he steps outside, closing the door behind him.

I stand there, staring at the door as I hear his Jeep start and the low roar of
the engine slowly fade as he drives off. His advice stays in my mind as I
walk upstairs and get ready for bed.

I haven't ever really talked to my dad about how I feel. I've never told him
how him never being here makes me feel. How hard it is. How it's dividing
us nearly to the point of me not wanting

to fix it. I try to bring my mind elsewhere, but the only other thing I can
think of is how it felt to be wrapped up in West's arms. When he hugged
me, I wasn't expecting to...feel anything.

But the moment his arms were wrapped around me, I suddenly felt
everything.

---

10/6/2020 - Edits for this chapter were sort of substantial. I went more in
depth on Raine's story about her mom and I edited West's reaction. I hope I
made it deeper and more realistic, because beforehand I felt like I didn't go
as far with that scene as I could have. Before, I barely grazed the surface of
such an intimate moment between them and I wanted to make it more
memorable. I also included more about Raine's dad that I hope you guys
liked :)
Chapter Nineteen (Edited
10/9/2020)
Halfway to 1k votes! Thank you guys for being so dedicated to this story
and loving it as much as you do, it means a lot :) 10/9/2020 - You finally get
to meet Mr. Winters :) Originally, I had a bonus chapter about him coming
home that I have since lost. I recall his name being something with a C, but
since I can't find that chapter nor can I fully remember, I basically have re-
written his character.

---

I wasn't able to get much sleep last night. After West left, thoughts swirled
around my head all night and I only got an hour or two of shut eye. Some of
it is partly due to the anxiety I feel towards my dad coming home this
morning.

A knock at the door spikes that anxiety as I quickly glance out the window
of my bedroom and see an Uber drive off. Marcus Winters is home.

Getting out of bed, I go downstairs and try to calm my pounding heart. I

haven't seen my dad in over two weeks, and last time he was home it was
only for a few days.

The sound of the door unlocking fills my ears as I jump down the final step,
noting that Toby and Gray are still passed out on the couch where West
dropped them last night. Seconds later, dad walks inside with a small
luggage bag. He first notices Toby and Gray in the living room, and I see
him pause for a second or two as he takes in the sight. Then, he chuckles
with a small head shake and fully comes inside, closing the door behind
him.

He then glances my way and almost instantly a huge smile breaks out on his
face. He's never been one to smile with his teeth, since when he grew up his
family didn't have the money to provide him braces, but his close-mouthed
smiles have always been enough to convey his happiness.

He sets his luggage down as he smiles at me, opening his arms as I

hesitantly walk closer.

"There's my girl."

"Hi dad."

And even though I harbor resentment for the way he's chosen to raise me
and Toby, I can't hide the warmth in my heart from seeing him. I go into his
open arms and revel in the familiar feeling of his fatherly hug. He holds me
for a few moments, squeezing me tight before we pull apart.

"

I missed you, sweetheart,"

he signs.

My face melts into a warm smile when he signs his greeting back. A part of
me was worried he would have forgotten a lot of ASL with how long he's
been away and how little he and I have FaceTimed.

"You too, dad."

"So, do I dare ask why those two are passed out on the couch?" He asks as
he picks up his luggage.

I chuckle,

"Let's just say that they had a fun night."

Dad chuckles, "Well come on, have you had breakfast?"

I shake my head and he starts on his way to the kitchen.

"There's this amazing bagel place down the road from my apartment in New
York. I was spending so much money there every morning that I ended up
perfecting their breakfast bagel to make for myself, come on I'll make it for
you."

His mention of New York turns my mood a little sour and the sweet feelings
of him coming home begin to disperse as I remember that he's never here.
This is his first time home this month. I eye the stairs, debating just going
back to my room, but West's final words to me last night flash across my
mind.

You lost one parent, and I know it probably feels like you've lost both...but
you still have him, Raine.

With his words replaying in my brain, I follow Dad down the hallway
littered with pictures and to the kitchen. He walks swiftly, refusing to
glance at the pictures on the walls, his shoulders almost relaxing when he
reaches the kitchen and out of the hallway of memories. I sit on one of the
barstools, recalling what West said about Toby's, eh, moment

with a barstool at the party.

"How have you been, sweetheart?" Dad asks as he surveys the contents in
the fridge, pulling out some cheese, eggs, and bacon.

He starts reorganizing a few items in the fridge and it sends a sudden burst
of anger through my chest. The fridge is organized to how I like it. It should
stay that way considering I'm always the one cooking. Considering he's
never home. He can't just come back and act like he's going to stay when I
know he won't.

"Fine."

As he makes us breakfast, also making two extra bagels for Toby and Gray,
I stay silent. Soon enough, we hear a couple of loud, pained groans from the
living room.
"Raine!" Toby groans, his voice gradually getting louder as he comes
towards the kitchen, "Whatever you're cooking smells amazing, but could
you maybe not turn the vent fan on high? It's killing my head and- Dad?"

Toby stops short when he reaches the kitchen, hair a mess and clothes all
tattered from his fun night, but his eyes are light with excited surprise.

"Son!" Dad exclaims, quickly setting the spatula down as he walks over to
Toby and engulf him in a bear hug.

"I totally forgot you were flying in this morning!" Toby says, face broken
out in a smile, but he then cringes when his headache hits him and he
massages his temple.

"Crazy night, huh?" Dad asks with a small smirk.

"You don't know the half of it."

"Take a seat, breakfast will be done soon and you can tell me about it."

Toby doesn't hesitate and instantly sits down next to me, and before he can
go into his story, Gray comes into the kitchen massaging his own head with
his eyes shut tight in pain.

"Why is that vent fan so god damn loud... my head is killing me and-
Marcus?" He stops short, much like Toby, and eyes our dad with wide eyes.

Dad made it clear for all of our friends to call him by his first name, fed up
with so many corporate officials referring to him as "Mr. Winters.". He said
that when he's home, he doesn't want to feel like he's in the office.

"Gray! Come on in, I'm just cooking up some breakfast bagels," Dad says
with a smile, pointing the spatula to the last barstool at the counter.

As Dad finishes up our breakfast and dishes it out, Gray and Toby
animatedly tell him about their night. They leave out the parts that caused
West to get them away from the endless drinks, only relaying the fun parts.
Running the table in Beer Pong, taking the Aux for an hour and having the
best playlists, and how they even made up a new drink they call 'Savage
Breeze.'

"Ah, and is that what did you two in?" Dad asks as he hands them both
some water, sliding me a cup of coffee.

Toby nearly chugs the whole thing before he nods, Gray doing the same.

"Can't even taste the alcohol, and that's what made it dangerous."

"Couldn't have been all the shots you were taking,"

I sign sarcastically, and Toby nudges me playfully.

Dad has never minded the teenage drinking too much. Of course, he doesn't
fully condone it, but he's under the mindset that Toby should learn his limit
before college so that he doesn't get into any bad situation once he leaves
home. Dad grew up in a small, country town where they partied every
weekend, so he understands. After what happened with Warren, he was
more strict about it, but I made the decision not to go to any parties and he
backed off of Toby.

"Where's Tyler? I assume he was with you two last night, yeah?" Dad asks.

"He was, but I don't fully remember where he ended up..." Toby says
sheepishly.

Dad eyes him for a second with a strict, parental look on his face.

"Toby... you know how I feel about you drinking. You've got to learn your
limits, son, and you need to look out for your friends too. You should have
fun, but you need to play it safe. You know that."

Though I know he's right, that small anger in my chest multiples as he

scolds Toby. The one

day he comes home after Toby had a night of partying and he thinks he can
just jump in and have some sort of parental advice. Where was that advice
all of the other times Toby's come home blackout drunk? He's acting like
he's here for us, yet he's only here when it's convenient for him.

I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to get out of the house and go

somewhere. Gray finishes his food and says a quick goodbye to all of us
before heading out, and Dad brings all of our dishes to the sink. My phone
buzzes on the counter. I grab it and see a text from Alyse, so I quickly swipe
across the screen to unlock it and see what she said.

My Main Bitch:

Wanna go to the library to study for that history test?

I send her a quick text back saying yes and not a minute later she responds.

My Main Bitch:

okay awesome, now we just need a ride.

I let out a small breath at the excuse to get out of the house for a while.

"What are you doing today, Raine?" Toby asks as he goes to the cabinet for
some Ibuprofen.

"Looks like I'll be studying with Alyse at the library."

"Why don't you two study here?" Dad offers.

I choose to ignore him and keep my eyes on Toby.

"Toby, can you drive me and Alyse?"

"I can drive you two," Dad says before Toby has the chance.

"No!" Toby quickly says at the mentioning of Alyse, clearing his throat
when we both look at him awkwardly for his outburst.

"I mean, no that's okay I can drive. What time?"

"An hour?"

"Toby, you said you wanted to go to the movies last we talked. Why don't I
drive? I can grab Alyse on the way and drop her and Raine off at the
library."

I scowl at his idea. It makes the most logical sense.

"Sounds good, let me go shower," Toby says, and we both head upstairs to
get ready.

I get ready before he does, so I sit down on my bed as I wait for him and
scroll through TikTok to pass the time.

I click on my contacts to text Alyse rather than just going to my messages,

and as I scroll through to find her name, I find a contact that was definitely
not there before.

Loverboy

I gap at my screen as I read his name, and I quickly select the contact. I
thought we had both forgotten about that embarrassing nickname I came up
with the other day at lunch. Or at least I had strongly hoped we had
forgotten about it. He must have snagged my phone and put his number in.

I narrow my eyes at his number and click on the message icon without
thinking. I type down a text and send it before I can properly think through
what I'm doing.

Me:

Aren't you smooth

I place my phone on my bedside table as I wait for it to buzz to signal his

text back. About five minutes later I get the telltale buzz and quickly grab
my phone.
Loverboy:

I'll assume this is Sunshine, took you long enough to find my contact.
Maybe I should have just gone with my name Me:

'West' would have saved me some embarrassment... how long ago did you
put it in my phone?

Loverboy:

When you came over and met Casper and my mom

I furrow my brow as I try to recollect when he would have even had the
time, and I recall going to the bathroom after checking my phone and
leaving it unlocked on the bed. Right next to West.

Me:

Oh...

Loverboy:

I bet you even kept the name.

I glance at his contact name written across the top of the screen and
mentally slap myself. Changing his name should have been the first thing I
did. With lightning speed, I go to his contact and re-type his name.

East:

Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

I don't respond right away, and he sends another.

East:

And from your lack of a response, I'm going to guess I was right.
Me:

Three texts in a row? If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone is
desperate.

East:

So what's my new name?

I laugh at the fact he basically ignored my jeer at him.

Me:

"East"

I can practically picture his smirk dropping into a scowl.

East:

Haha.

Me:

Admit it, that was clever

East:

Again, leave the nicknames to me Sunshine. But anyways, how was it last
night after I left? Toby and Gray cause you any trouble?

Me:

Nah, they were passed out until my dad got home this morning.
East:

Things going okay with him?

Me:

I guess, but I'm really just trying to get out of the house at this point East:

Well that sounds like a hint, what are you doing today?

"Raine! Let's go!" Toby hollers from his room.

My head snaps up and I quickly walk towards his door, putting my phone
back in my pocket. I wait by Toby's door as he grabs his shoes, but as he
passes me he stops and looks at me weirdly.

"Why are you smiling like that?" He asks cautiously.

My eyebrows scrunch together, and I feel the smile I wasn't aware of fall. I
shrug and turn to walk down the stairs, a blush rising on my cheeks.

"You two ready?" Dad asks once Toby and I come downstairs.

I brush past him and out the front door, headed to his Toyota Corolla that he
never drives since he's never home. It sort of just sits in our driveway until
he's back to drive it. I would, but I still don't have my license. We pull up to
Alyse's house a short five minutes later, the whole car ride filled with Toby
and Dad chatting about the movie they are going to go see.

When she comes outside, she does a doubletake at the car in her driveway
and the man driving. She's met my dad plenty of times before, but I forgot
to text her that he came home today.

"Hi Marcus, I didn't realize you were coming home today," she greets
kindly as she gets into the car, sending me a look of confusion.

He smiles at her through the rear view mirror, "My flight landed at 10:30
this morning, it's good to see you Alyse."
"You too."

He drives us to the library and drops us off, Alyse really being the only one
saying goodbye as we head inside.

"So...your dad is home," Alyse says cautiously.

I nod.

"And you seem to be acting slightly cold towards him."

I nod again.

"Isn't it a good thing that he's home?"

"I guess."

"Raine." Alyse says, causing me to stop and turn to her. "What's wrong?
Aren't you glad he's home? It's been a couple of weeks since you've seen
him."

I heave a heavy sigh and shrug at her.

"I don't know. I was happy at first, hugging and greeting him. But, I guess it
sunk in that despite him coming home, he was gone for a long time. He's
always gone for a long time. I just don't want to jump into his arms and
welcome him back, you know? If I do that, then he faces no penalty for
being away."

Alyse keeps up with my ASL and her face drops into a frown.

"But shouldn't you cherish the time you have with him now?"

I knew she wouldn't understand. I don't respond to her and instead continue
on my way into the library. She sighs behind me but quickly follows,
jogging a few steps to match my stride. The sliding doors open as we get
closer and we walk into the warmth of the library. The scent of books fills
me and it calms my misplaced annoyance at Alyse.
"I'm sorry, Raine," she says, "I know it's tough for you. I just see how happy
Toby is seeing him and I guess I just want that for you, too."

I glance at her and can't help but give a small smile.

"Thank you. Also, I saw you ogling Toby in the car."

Alyse blushes at the change in topic, "Well he looked good."

"He wanted to drive us before my dad jumped in and offered."

Alyse perks up, "Yeah?"

I nod,

"Yeah."

"Well maybe he just wanted to get out of the house."

"Oh come on, he wanted to see you."

"I heard he tried to get with someone last night," Alyse says solemnly,
refusing to get her hopes up. "I left early when I saw him talking to some
girl."

I snort,

"Not a someone, but a something."

Alyse furrows her brow and I clarify.

"West said Toby was starting to 'get it on' with a barstool before he left."

"I think I suddenly forgot ASL. Did you say a

barstool?"
I laugh, getting shushed by a passing librarian as we walk around the
shelves of books and to the study section in the back.

"Yes, a barstool."

"Should I be happy or worried?"

I laugh again as we reach the study tables, setting my backpack down in the
empty seat next to me.

"Happy."

"Yeah, because for once he decided not to sleep with another girl," Alyse
mutters as she sits down.

I frown deeply and feel my heart break for her. He does like her, I know it.
He's just...confused, but they are

going to get married someday. And when they do, I'm going to have a plane
fly across the sky at their wedding spelling out 'I told you so!'

"West brought him and Gray home last night, they both passed out on the
couch."

Alyse wiggles her brows, "West did? He stay for long?"

I glance down at my notebook and bite my lip to hide the smile that wants
to appear.

"Oh my god! You just looked away and smiled! Something happened, tell
me everything." Alyse exclaims as quietly as she can since the same
librarian who shushed us earlier is patrolling just a few yards away.

"Nothing happened, Alyse. But-"

I pause, smiling a little shyly

, "I did tell him about my mom."

"Wow," Alyse says, eyes widening, "How'd he react?"

"Really, really well, actually. I sort of started to cry, you know I haven't told
anyone about my mom since Gray became our friends, and telling him was
really emotional."

Alyse reads my hands with giddy eyes, hanging on to every sign.

"And as soon as West saw me starting to cry, he wiped away a tear and then
hugged me."

She squeals, nearly jumping in her seat. "Raine! Are you kidding me! That
is so sweet!"

I chuckle at her,

"It was a nice gesture, yeah."

"Do you still believe that he doesn't have an interest in you?"

"I believe he was being there for a friend."

"Sunshine?"

The both of our heads snap up at the familiar, deep voice. I nearly fall out of
my seat in surprise when I see West standing a few feet away from our
table, emerging from a row of books with a confused smile. My face
suddenly gets incredibly hot when I realize there's a good chance he just
heard/read that entire conversation.

"So this is what you were doing today." He says, crossing his arms.

My face flushes as I realize I totally forgot to text him back. I give him a
sheepish smile and get out my phone, typing a quick sentence.

His phone buzzes a second later and he pulls it from his pocket confusedly.
He reads it over and blows slight air through his nose that could be
considered a small laugh.
"'

I'm going to the library

.' Thanks for telling me." He jokingly reads aloud.

"At least I responded."

He chuckles, "A little late don't you think?"

I glance over at Alyse who's watching our interaction with a smirk she's
failing to keep hidden.

"Why don't you sit with us, West?" She offers, gesturing to the open seat
across from me.

"I don't know, Alyse. Sunshine here seemed to withhold the invite," he says,
sending me a cocky smile.

I roll my eyes at him,

"I got caught up with my dad."

West frowns and pulls out the open seat that has my backpack, causing me
to take it off and place it down next to me. He sets down the books he was
holding.

I snort at what I see and raise a brow at him.

"I didn't know you were into the Magic Tree House."

He glances at the books and scratches his neck. "They're for Casper."

"Pretty soon he'll be reading The Hunger Games,"

I sign, spelling out the title.

West chuckles, "I see some sort of English major in his future. The kid can't
stop reading. I'm trying to get him to go play some sort of sport to help him
make some friends, but he always tells me that he has plenty of fictional
friends."

I smile slightly

, "Sometimes fictional friends are easier to have."

"Speak from experience, Sunshine?"

His normal response suddenly has my heart stopping from the analytical
look in his eye. Without realizing, I was alluding to Warren and the
friendship I thought we had. The friendship that ended with me in my
current situation.

"I thought you were taking care of Casper this morning?"

I sign, changing the subject.

"My mom got home early and sent me here to get some books for him."

"Who's Casper?" Alyse all of the sudden asks.

I look back at West and his eyes finally look away from me to land on
Alyse.

"My little brother."

She recoils in shock. "You have a little brother?"

"Why is that so hard for people to believe?" He asks almost to himself.

"Because no one can believe that West Love is such a softie when it comes
to his family."

He chuckles, "And I expect you to keep that little secret, Sunshine. My

reputation is on the line here."

"And if I don't?"
West cocks his head for a moment or two. "I'd think of something."

"What would you do?"

I ask,

"Send me a hard glare and a slap on the wrist?"

He smirks, "Don't forget I spent over half a year in juvie, Sunshine."

Though his comment was meant to be playful, it's actually quite true. A part
of me had forgotten, or at least has found it much less important to who
West is. The worries that swarmed around that part of his life when I first
met him have slowly started to go away and I find myself thinking about it
less and less.

"What happened to 'I'd never hurt you'?"

I sign back playfully.

"Does that still apply?"

West's smirk turns into a small smile at my response.

"That always applies."

"Should I leave you two alone, or...?" Alyse asks from her seat across from
us.

We both glance over to her. Me with a blush and West with a smirk. She's
eyes me down when West looks away from her and to his phone that just
buzzed. A clear look of 'okay, whatever that was, you are so

telling me more about it later.'

"No, let's get back to studying."

I respond.
"West, you're in history too, right?"

He nods, "With Mrs. Jenkins?"

Alyse and I nod.

"Want to study with us?" Alyse offers.

West glances at me and shrugs, "Sure, Casper can wait another hour for his
books. Maybe this way he'll actually venture to the TV and turn on baseball
or something."

"There's nothing wrong with him preferring books over sports."

West shrugs, "No there isn't, but the kid doesn't even know what a Grand
Slam is, Sunshine."

I snort,

"Give him a book about baseball then."

West perks up at that idea, "You know what? That's not a bad idea. I'll be
right back."

West gets up from the table to go back through the endless shelves of
books, and Alyse and I start studying for our History test. He comes back a
short fifteen minutes later and studies with us. After about two hours,
Alyse's phone buzzes and she checks it with a sigh.

"I hate to cut this short, but that was my mom. I've gotta head home."

"We did a lot, I think this is a good time to finish anyways. I'll text Toby."

"I can take you two home," West offers and I glance up at him. "There's no
point in making Toby drive all the way out here when I'm already here." He
says, standing up.

"
It's only a, like, five minute drive for him.

"

"And it won't be any longer for me because I'm already out here." West
retaliates. "Come on, I've got everything I need."

"Thanks West," Alyse smiles.

He glances at her over his shoulder, "No problem."

We load into his Jeep, and I decide to sit in the front with West. He turns the
key, and I'm smart enough to cover my ears before his music can start
blasting out of the speakers. Once they do, the only thing overpowering the
music is Alyse yelling a single, four lettered word.

West starts laughing as he turns it down, as do I and we glance back at

Alyse.

"What the hell, guys?!"

West looks at me, "You could have warned her."

"I was too busy covering my own ears.

"

We both turn back around as our laughter dies down and West pulls out of
the library parking lot.

"Where do you live, Alyse?" He asks, glancing at her through the rear view
mirror.

"Do you know where the elementary school is?" She asks.

He nods, "My brother goes there."

"I live across the street."

All of the sudden, a car comes speeding down the road and cuts West off.
He has to slam on his brakes in order to avoid a crash, also needing to
quickly turn the wheel that nearly has the Jeep spinning out of control if he
didn't get a good hold on it. Before I can fly forward with the momentum of
the car, West's arm comes out to block me. When he pulls over to the side of
the road, his gaze snaps to me; his dark eyes flickering with worry.

"Are you okay?"

I nod and he takes in a deep breath, eyeing the car down with rage in his
eyes. I catch a fleeting glimpse of it and my own blood boils when I see the
black Audi speed away, license plate spelling out 'BALLER'.

Warren.

"Looks like someone is trying to get back at me for slashing his tires," West
mutters.

"So that was you?"

"Not important. You sure you're okay?" He asks again.

I give him a small smile,

"I'm okay."

"I'm good too, thanks for asking." Alyse mutters from the back.

West turns around to her, "I was getting to that."

"No I get it. You had to make sure she was okay first to keep up that whole
'I'd never hurt you' thing."

My eyes widen and I quickly spin around in my seat to stare at Alyse who
simply smirks at me. I discreetly glance at West to gauge his reaction, but
he looks amused as he pulls back onto the road.

We drop Alyse off and then West heads towards my house, turning up the
CD he previously had playing as he softly sings along. I fiddle in my seat as
we pull into my driveway, noticing my dads car parked behind Toby's truck
signaling that they're back from the movie.

"So how is it with him home?" West asks as he shuts off the music.

I sigh deeply and shrug, pulling out my phone since I'm unsure West will
keep up with my rambling thoughts.

'

It was fine when he first got home. I was happy to see him, but then he
started rearranging things in the fridge and I suddenly got angry. I know
that sounds stupid, maybe it is, but he just instantly started acting like he
could do whatever he wants here. Like Toby and I haven't found a rhythm
that works for us without him.'

I hand West my phone when I finish, gnawing on the inside of my cheek as

he reads it over.

"That doesn't sound stupid, Raine."

'It may be hard to take your advice.'

I type.

West smiles sadly at me, "I know."

I sigh and unbuckle, grabbing my backpack from the floor as I force open
the stuck passenger door to his Jeep. West, however, shuts the Jeep off and
gets out too, which leads to me sending him a confused look.

West discreetly nods to the living room window, "Someone seems to be

watching us. And it may be a little rude of me to leave without introducing
myself."

I divert my eyes to the window and see my dad trying to hide behind the
curtains as he stares at me and West. When he notices my gaze on him, he
jumps and quickly backs away from the window.
When West and I walk inside, he's 'casually' sitting in one of the recliners to
a TV that is still booting up. I raise a brow at him as I drop my backpack off
by the door, stepping to the side for West to come inside. At the sight of
him, Dad quickly stands from the recliner and walks over to us with his
eyes slightly narrowed.

"Hey sweetheart, who's this?"

"This is West, he just came to our school a couple of weeks ago."

Dad slowly nods and then glances at West. "She just introduced you and
said that you're new to the school."

I want to face-palm when he interprets for West. West raises a brow and
glances down at me before clearing his throat.

"Yes sir. I know..." West says, trailing off awkwardly.

Dad's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, you do?"

"I've been teaching him ASL, and he's actually picking it up really quickly."

"I asked Raine to teach me for an English essay where we have to write
about something that intrigues us," West explains further. "She's a really
good teacher."

"Well," Dad starts curtly, "She was forced to learn it rather quickly, so she
knows a lot."

I snap my eyes to him and narrow them a considerable amount. I subtly

shake my head when Dad catches my gaze, letting him know not to say a
single thing more. I risk a glance at West who looks lost in his own thoughts
before his gaze narrows and his jaw clicks. When he feels my eyes on him,
however, he quickly shakes that look away and smiles at my dad.

"She does. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Winters, but I should probably be
going. My little brother is going to kill me if I don't get him those books
soon."
He sticks out his hand for Dad to take and I swear my heart nearly stops
when there's an awkward few seconds of zero movement on my dads part.
But then I let out my nervous breath when he finally takes West's hand in a
short, stiff handshake.

"You too," he says curtly.

West clears his throat and glances at me, sending a small smile my way as
he opens the front door.

"I'll see you around Sunshine, thanks for the tip about that baseball book.
I'll let you know how he likes it."

Once he leaves, Dad's blue eyes shift to me and I see hints of annoyance in
them which just fuel my earlier anger towards him. He was clearly quite
rude to West, who has done nothing to deserve it, and now wants to pin
some of that annoyance on me.

"Who was that?"

"He literally just introduced himself. That was West."

He cross his arms and his skepticism seeps into his voice. "You never told
me you made any new friends."

"You never call so I never got the chance,"

I retort, brushing past him and towards the steps. I walk up the stairs,
stomping my feet with more force than necessary to get across my
annoyance, and even throw my door shut once I get to my room.

---

10/9/2020 - And there you have it, Marcus Winters finally made an
appearance after nearly 5 years. Since his character was brand new, I
honestly struggled writing him in. I hope I did okay, but this chapter took
me almost 6 hours to edit and I was getting tired towards the end. (I even
made a tiktok during it which you can find on my Instagram). What did y'all
think of this chapter?
Chapter Twenty (Edited
10/10/2020)
Beautifully done cover made by

beautifullyyoung

10/10/2020 - You will notice a lot of changes to this chapter hehe. Please
get the in-line comments back up! I read through them every day and they
always make me smile!

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty

Later that day, I decide to step out of my room and go get something to eat.
My plan? To avoid letting Dad see me. I'm still angry from before.

He and Toby are much the same. Neither are too keen on the idea of me
inviting new boys into my life after what happened with Warren. When Dad
met Kyle, my ex, I thought that relationship would end on the spot from
how cold he acted towards Kyle. But since we only dated a short while, he
rarely even saw my dad and it was never an issue.

Toby, of course, has warmed up to the idea of me befriending guys

considering Tyler and Gray have become two of my closest friends, and he's
clearly taken a liking to West. All he had to do was give him a chance. But
Dad has no place to judge West. He has no place to tamper with whom I
choose to be friends with.

Stealthily, I maneuver my way down the staircase and avoid all creaky
steps. The second from the top, one halfway down, and the very last step all
would blow my operation to get to the kitchen and back up without being
spotted and forced to have a conversation with Dad.

I'm able to make it to the living room with no sightings of either Toby nor
Dad, however I stop and quickly hide behind the wall from the living room
to the kitchen when I hear both of their voices as they sit at the counter. I
scowl as I cower in my hiding place, barely mustering my stomach's
rumble. Dad's breakfast sandwich didn't do much to hold me over now that
it's nearly five. I debate just walking in anyways and giving Dad the cold
shoulder, but when I actually pay attention to their conversation, my
curiosity outweighs my hunger and I stay hunkered down in my position to
eavesdrop.

"So...I met your friend West earlier," Dad starts, his voice seeping with
skepticism, "You never told me about him when we've talked."

"Yeah I did. I told you Tyler asked the new guy to sit with us."

"Well you seem to have avoided the part about Raine teaching him ASL."

Toby pauses and I lean further into the wall as though that'll make me able
to somehow picture the scene better.

"I guess I left that part out," Toby says and I can imagine him shrugging
nonchalantly.

"Toby."

Dad's voice comes out harder, sterner.

"That's not something you just leave out, especially considering what Raine
has been through. I mean what do you know about this guy? Is he someone
you can just let her hang around?"

My blood boils at Dad's questions and I find it hard to stay hidden instead
of peeking out and telling him off. No one can choose who I get to hang
around except for me, especially not my Dad who doesn't know the first
thing about who West is.
"Look, it's not my place to tell Raine who she can and can't hang out with,
Dad. I tried that and it didn't go over too well... As protective as I am over
her, and as much as I want to keep her safe and never let another sleazebag
near her, I can't act like her parent."

"Well I

am

her parent and I don't like the idea of her hanging out with some random
guy."

"He isn't some random guy, at least not anymore. They've gotten close, we
all have. West is a good guy."

"She got close with Warren when you thought he was a good guy, and that
didn't turn out too well."

I wince at Dad's words. I know he didn't mean them to be accusatory

towards Toby, he's only being cautious. He understands that what happened
to me isn't anyone's fault except for Warren's. Toby could never have
known, neither could Dad or Alyse. Looking back, the signs were there.
Hindsight is always 20/20, and we had to learn that the hard way.

But his words still feel like a slap to the face.

"West isn't Warren." Toby says firmly.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Raine trusts him."

That causes Dad to pause for a few moments, and the air is so silence I can
hear him clear his throat.

"And that doesn't worry you?"

"No, Dad, it doesn't. Warren did a number on Raine and she's found it hard
to open up to anyone outside of me, Ty, Gray, or Alyse. Yet she's started
opening up to West, and if she feels comfortable enough to do that, then I
trust her instinct."

Dad stays silent.

"Look, why don't you talk to

her

about this?" Toby asks, and I hear the annoyance in his voice.

"I tried that," Dad says with a heavy sigh, "She just stormed away from
me."

I nearly scoff.

Tried? More like you attacked me with words for making a new friend.

Toby sighs, "Dad...I know it's not easy for you to be gone so often, but you
have to understand how hard that is on her. To not have you around."

"I'm here as often as I can be with work-"

"I get it. Work is important, whatever. It's not as hard on me because I don't
have to miss someone in the parental role. Raine takes over. She cooks
nearly every night, she does the laundry, she goes grocery shopping, she
does it all. Add on what Warren did to her and she's been forced to grow up
way too fast without someone there to guide her, Dad. You can't blame her
for not welcoming you home with open arms every time you decide to
come back."

Toby's words completely stun me. I didn't think he understood my feelings

towards Dad. I didn't even think he truly understood the chores I've taken
over without any parents home half the time, but to hear him say all of
that...it means a lot.

Dad doesn't respond right away and I don't blame him. If my son called me
out like that, I'm sure I'd be at a loss for words, too.
"You know how much I love the two of you, right?" Dad says, and my heart
tugs at the pain in his voice. "You two are my whole world and it kills me to
be away."

"I know," Toby says softly, "But I'm not the one who needs to hear that."

OoO

After Toby and Dad ended their conversation the other day, I quickly
retreated to my room to avoid being caught and stayed there until dinner. I
figured Dad would talk to me sometime this weekend, but I guess he's just
as scared as I am for that talk and we both sort of avoided one another. Now
it's Monday. He only has a few more days at home before he heads back to
New York, so the clock is ticking on our anticipated father-daughter
discussion.

I step out of Toby's truck and onto the school grounds, and almost instantly
I'm tackled into a hug. I let out a startled yelp and turn in the familiar arms
to see Tyler smiling giddily down at me.

"Raine!" He exclaims, squeezing me tight.

I laugh lightly and pull out of his arms, fixing my hair as I do.

"Hey Tyler

." I wave, smiling at him.

He pouts, "I missed you this weekend. I haven't seen you since, like,
Friday."

"Well someone missed the after-party at my place Friday night."

Tyler cocks his head, "After party?"

"West dropped me and Gray off after we blacked out at the party," Toby
explains as he hands Alyse her backpack after he grabbed it from the back
seat for her.
"Oh," Tyler says.

"Trust me man, you didn't miss much other than a neck cramp that lasted all
weekend. West sort of just threw the two of us onto the couch," Gray
complains, massaging the back of his neck.

Tyler chuckles before looking down at me.

"How about to make it up to you, we go to Rivers tonight? I'll pay." He

suggests as we walk towards the school.

I smile up at him, "

That sounds good

."

"We're going to Rivers tonight?" Toby asks, tuning into the conversation.

"Oh sweet we haven't been there in forever!" Gray adds.

Toby smiles and claps Tyler on the back. "Good idea man!"

"You know, we actually haven't been there in a while," Alyse agrees.

I take notice to how Tyler scratches the back of his head with his eyebrows
slightly furrowed. "Uh, yeah. All of us, I guess." He mutters, placing his
hands in his pockets with a slight scowl.

My feet follow the pack and I fall into step between Toby and Tyler. From
the corner of my eye I see Tyler stealing small glances at me and for some
reason it makes me a little uncomfortable. I keep my eyes elsewhere, and as
I look around the parking lot I catch sight of a familiar leather jacket.

I end up meeting dark brown eyes and I smile, watching as West's scowl
softens into a lopsided grin. I wave him over and he changes his route to
make us his destination rather than the school. I stop to wait for him and the
others follow my lead.
When he reaches us, I drift to his side and fall into step beside him. The
cool breeze makes me shiver and walk slightly closer to him, and it causes
his leather jacket to rub against my arm. I instantly am covered by his
desirable scent, almost like a distant campfire on a warm summer night, and
it makes my heart beat unconsciously faster.

"Good morning, Sunshine."

I chuckle at him,

"Trying to impress me, again?"

"We haven't had a lesson in a while, seems my greetings are getting

redundant."

We reach the doors and instantly Tyler's hand is grasping the handle,
holding it open for the rest of us to pile inside. I offer him a smile and a
quickly signed "thank you', and West gives up a nod. We take course
towards my locker as the guys all talk about the party, and as we approach
the dirtied row of lockers, my blood runs cold.

Warren.

I see him walking towards us from the opposite end of the hallway, his hair
perfectly styled atop his head and his thousand dollar outfit without a single
wrinkle. The complete opposite of his fucked up personality.

I clench my jaw and turn to Alyse to avoid looking at him any longer; if I
could, I would choose to never see him again. But sadly life isn't fair and
we don't always get what we want.

"Hey Raine."

His voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard and my entire body stiffens and
my blood runs cold. I avoid turning around, keeping my eyes tightly on
Alyse. The guys all come to my defense, but West is the first one to make a
move.

"Why don't you get out of here, Warren."

His tone is low and demanding and I can't help but turn around to witness
him talking to Warren. I watch as Warren smirks at him, not a hint of fear
anywhere to be seen, and their interaction last week by West's Jeep pops
into my mind.

There's an obvious difference between West's smirk and Warren's smirk.

West seems to be carefree or mischievous when he smirks, a playful banter
to add to his name, and it doesn't drive fear through me. But when Warren
smirks, he takes the face of the Devil and all things evil and not a single cell
in my body feels safe.

"Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?" Warren challenges.

"What am I gonna do about it?" West echoes, his voice dangerously

threatening.

I back up a little so that I'm leaning against my locker, the farthest away
from Warren I can get.

"That's what I said." Warren says. "Are you deaf? That would explain why
you hang out with the mute."

And all of the sudden, Warren is pinned against the opposing row of lockers
by West. Everyone in the hallway suddenly stops what they're doing to
watch the scene in front of them, and we all jump at the sound of his body
slamming against the metal. I stare with wide eyes as West glares at Warren
with every ounce of hatred one person could muster. West takes a small step
back after having him physically pinned against the lockers, but Warren still
stands with his back flushed against them as he cowers away from West.

"Did you forget what I said last week?" Warren spits, fear finally appearing
in his expression mixed in with his own anger.

"I didn't forget," West says lowly, and then his voice drops so low that I
can't hear what he's saying. No one can but Warren, and that's exactly how
West intends to keep it.
Toby, Gray, Tyler, Alyse, and I all glance at one another with pure
confusion, but none of us step closer to listen in. We're too shocked to
move.

As West talks, however, the fear in Warren's eyes nearly doubles and his
face pales for a moment as panic settles in. Then, he shifts his stare to me
and it contorts into anger. I cringe away; every time I meet the icy blue that
fill his emotionless eyes, memories fight to resurface. They try to break the
weak barrier holding them back so that they can dance across my mind and
bring me back to a place I don't want to go.

"Don't look at her," West furiously demands loud enough to be heard by me

and the others.

The authoritative tone in his voice makes me jump and scoot slightly closer
to the guys, and Warren takes his advice and looks away from me as West
says something else.

Warren spits out some sort of response that even he says quietly enough to
stay between him and West, and from his expression I can tell he's trying to
somehow save face. His face regains some color as West talks to him and
his fear begins to fade, but never fully.

Then, West backs off. He takes a couple of steps back and Warren stands up
straighter and fixes his jacket with a huff, angered annoyance all over his
expression. He glances at us through narrowed eyes and then stalks off
without saying anything else. West stands there and watches him walk
away. His jaw is still stiff and his brown eyes dark with anger, and when he
finally turns back to us he pauses and glares at all of the watching students.
They all cringe away and quickly disperse, shuffling away from his deadly
gaze.

I let my muscles relax and let out a breath of relief I had forgotten I was
holding. I start to walk to West, but before I reach him he turns and his eyes
land on me, stopping me in my tracks. He only holds my gaze for a second
before quickly diverting his eyes, but that's all it takes. Though he's trying
to maintain an impassive expression, I saw it. Swirling behind all his anger
it's there. Regret.
"Are you good, dude?" Toby hesitantly asks.

He isn't able to plaster on a cool smile despite how hard he tries to relax,
instead he tightly nods. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? What was that-"

"I appreciate the concern, really, but I'm fine. We should get to class."

Then he sends me one last look before retreating down the hall without
another word said.

As Alyse and I walk to Music, we both are too shocked to even know what
to say in regards to what just happened.

"What do you think they were saying?" Alyse finally asks when we take our
seats.

"I have no idea, but I'm going to find out."

I grab my phone from my back pocket and pull up West's contact, quickly
sending him a text as the bell rings and Mr. C starts class.

Me:

Hey, are you okay? Lesson after school?

East:

I'll be there at 5.

OoO

Dad had to drive to the local office today for work, letting Toby and I know
this morning that he wouldn't be back until around 6 or 7 but he would pick
up dinner on his way home. The good news in that, is that I don't have to
worry about him saying anything rude to West who is most likely going to
be in a bad mood when he arrives.
I haven't been able to get what happened earlier out of my head all day.
West was quiet all lunch, avoiding any questions about what he said to
Warren. He just ate his food stiffly and left before lunch period ended.

I nearly jump off of the couch when I hear his Jeep roar into the driveway,
quickly opening the front door for him to come directly inside and out of
the rain that started up about an hour ago. He comes inside and we both go
to the couch without saying much. He's still worked up about his interaction
with Warren, but I'm not surprised.

"Hey are you okay?"

I ask once he gets settled down.

West glances at my hands and sighs deeply, letting his tense shoulders relax.
He meets my concerned gaze and sends me a smirk.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me."

But I'm not here to let him joke his way out of this conversation.

"I am. You pinned Warren against the lockers...what happened?"

West's smirk drops and he looks away, jaw clicking for a moment or two.

"He just- seeing that cocky little smirk on his face after what he did... I
couldn't help it."

"After he did what?"

I pry further.

West glances at me and shifts a little in his seat, answering rather quickly.

"You know, the whole threatening me with going back to juvie about the
tires thing."

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously.

"That had you pinning him against the lockers?"

"That and the stunt he pulled Saturday with you and Alyse in the car."

"What did you say to him?"

West finally meets my gaze and my breath gets caught in my throat. Like
before, he's trying to remain impassive. But even with his walls up, I notice
a flicker of guilt in his eyes.

"I told you, the guys in juvie told me some stuff about the tire thing that
would help me keep Warren in check. I figured it was time to let him know
he doesn't have the upper-hand."

Unless I'm overthinking, his response comes out way too rehearsed.

I swallow nervously and nod, but another part of their debacle comes to
mind. The only part I was able to hear.

"What about the whole not letting him look at me part?"

I sign hesitantly, shyly.

West look away as he sorts through response.

"He clearly makes you uncomfortable," he says carefully. "I wanted him to
stop."

When he meets my eyes, my heart starts pounding harder against my chest.

Loud enough that I swear I can hear it in my ears.

"Sunshine? You remember my whole 'I'd never hurt you' line, right?"

I nod.

"Well, I need to add on to that," he says quietly, "I'd never let anyone else
hurt you, either."
I always thought I was a blue-eyes kind of girl. But staring into West's
brown eyes, I know that's not true at all. His gaze is so deep that it scares
me. It scares me because I can tell he's somehow getting a lot closer to what
happened to me. It scares me because it reminds me how vulnerable I am
with him. It scares me because it's not letting me look away. It scares me
because I don't

want

to look away.

His face feels a lot closer to mine than it was a few moments ago, and his
eyes drop down to my lips. My chest is almost in pain from how hard my
heart is pounding against it, and I swear I actually have stopped breathing.
The only other sound is the rain pattering down outside, mixing in with my
rapidly beating heart.

I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear the front door unlocking and I'm
finally able to remove my gaze from West's. He lets out a small sigh,
closing his eyes for a brief moment before he sits back and directs his
attention to the door. It opens and my dad walks inside with his suit jacket
draped over his arm holding his briefcase, hair slightly wet from the rain.
When he looks over to us, he freezes upon seeing West sitting far too close
to me on the couch.

"Oh, I didn't know you were having a friend over," he says.

I quickly stand up and walk towards him, needing to put some distance
between me and West since my mind is whirling.

"I forgot to text you."

He nods and then glances at West, and much to my relief, I see him smile.
Even if it was a little forced.

"That's alright. It's good to see you, West."

West seems slightly surprised from the nice comment, but he smiles at my
dad.

"It's good to see you too, Mr. Winters."

"Actually, I prefer if Toby and Raine's friends call me Marcus. I get called
Mr. Winters enough at work."

West lets out a small chuckle, "Understood, well it's good to see you too
Marcus."

Dad smiles a little awkwardly before glancing at me with light, almost

hopeful eyes as he awaits to see if I'll smile back. And I do. At least he's
trying.

"So, are you two having a lesson?"

I nod,

"We are, he just got here. I thought you were coming home later?"

"I was supposed to, but since I'm never here I wanted to get out of there
early to come home." He says, then pauses, "Spend some more time with
you."

My expression softens.

"You two finish up your lesson, I do have a few things I need to get done
before starting on dinner," he says, nodding to us before he disappears down
the hallway and into his home-office that's rarely used.

I sit back down on the couch, pulling out my whiteboard and West sends me
a smile.

"Right, on with the lesson Ms. Winters."

An hour later, West and I finish our lesson and I give him a small quiz to
ensure he got everything.
"So, how's your essay coming along?" He asks.

"I'm actually almost done with it. What about you?"

He nods, "Finished it last week."

I cock my head, "

How come you find sign language so interesting anyways?

mean I love it, but to write a whole essay on it?"

West looks at me in amused confusion. "Sunshine..."

"Yeah?

"

"You really think I actually wanted you to teach me sign language for an
essay?" He asks in disbelief.

As I anticipate where he's going with this, my pulse quickens and I fight to
keep back a blush.

He stares at me for a few seconds and a small smile slowly forms on his
lips. "Sunshine, what guy do you know has a weird fetish with sign
language? I only asked you to teach me so that I could get to know you."

His response renders me speechless.

I only asked you to teach me so that I could get to know you.

---
10/10/2020 - I am actually pretty proud of the edits I've done here. It's a
pivotal chapter for the slight plot changes I want to make! I've read through
some of y all's theories, and I've gotta say they are really, really good and
some of them are really, really close. I made sure to keep some of the lines
the same, mainly the ones that had the most comments because those are
clearly important to you guys haha. Please let me know what you thought of
this chapter!
Chapter Twenty One (Edited
10/25/2020)
Thanks for being such dedicated readers :) :) :)

10/25/2020 - The song that comes up in this chapter is called Pictures

by

Hollow Coves

and I highly recommend listening to it while reading that portion! It fits

very well and was very emotional for me :) Silently Falling: Chapter
Twenty One

West left shortly after his confession about his real reason behind learning
sign language. His words stuck with me for the rest of the night and I wasn't
able to focus on the movie Dad insisted we all watch together for some
family time. I couldn't even tell you what it was about.

Today went by as usual. Mr. C decided he doesn't need another song for
another couple of weeks, so that leaves me more time to work on my
personal songbook. Which is exactly what I'm doing now. Toby is upstairs
playing Rocket League,

and Dad is still at work, so it's a perfect time for me to be able to sit down
and play the piano while tweaking an older song of mine before West comes
over for our lesson.

I wrote this song back when Dad decided to pack up and move to New York
for half of his time. It was hard enough to grow up without a mom, but
when we suddenly had to grow up without a dad...this song came out of it.
When he would randomly come home every couple of weeks it reminded
me that my mom never can

come home. This song is about her. It's about him. It's about missing the
family I want back.

I don't know what made me want to go back to this song. Maybe it's the fact
Dad has made a few comments about wanting to try harder for me and
Toby. Maybe it's because I want to have that conversation with him. Let
him know how hard it is on me when he's never here. For whatever reason,
I'm sitting here playing a song that I wrote when I really did feel like my
life was falling apart.

However, I'm stopped when I hear a knock at the door.

"Raine! Can you get that! I'm in the middle of a game!" Toby calls from
upstairs.

I glance out the window next to my piano bench and see an old, slightly
banged up black Jeep in the driveway. The heartache from playing this song
slowly subsides as I walk to the door, anticipating that smirk on the other
side. He doesn't disappoint, and as soon as West sees me he gives me that
famous smirk and comes inside.

"Hey Sunshine."

As we walk into the living room, he eyes the piano that's keys are open and
exposed and my songbook on its perch.

"You working on something?"

I stand next to the piano and slide my hand on some of the keys, shrugging
slightly.

"I'm just making a few small changes to an old song."

He walks closer and takes my songbook, glancing at me momentarily.

"May I?"
I bite my lip while debating if I should let him into this particular song.
While the last one I played for him was personal, this one is personal for a
whole different reason and it's not as up to interpretation as the first. It's
harder for me to play. For me to read. But West knows about my feelings
towards my mom's death and my dad's absence, so when I meet his gaze, I
nod for him to go ahead.

"Pictures," he reads the title aloud. He scans the lyrics, brows furrowing
together and lips tugged into a frown.

He lifts his eyes to me once he finishes. "Is this about...?"

I sigh and sit down on the bench, trying to find the words to describe it.

"It's about more than just her,"

I sign, referring to my mom.

"It's about my Dad, too."

"How has it been with him home?" West asks, sliding onto the bench next
to me. "Has he talked to you yet?"

I shake my head. Unsure if West will be able to keep up with my signs, I

grab my phone from my pocket and type my response.

'He hasn't. I overheard him and Toby the other day, and it really seemed like
he was going to. Time is ticking down on his visit, so now I'm starting to
question if he even will.'

West reads it over but stays silent, and my mind goes to the dinner I
attended at his house; mainly what Casper blurted out about them not
having a dad. West has never mentioned him. And, against my better
judgement, I let curiosity get the best of me.

'Casper said something the other night about your dad not being
there...what's that like for you?'

I type.
I regret asking as soon as I see West's reaction. A guard goes up behind his
eyes and he shifts in his seat, but he doesn't break eye contact with me. He
keeps his gaze intently on mine, debating what to do. Finally, he sighs and
looks down, clearing his throat.

"It sucks when you have two chances at a dad and both fall short."

My eyes widen when I realize the meaning behind his words.

"You mean?"

He glances at me for a split second and nods, "Casper is my half brother.

We have different dads."

His voice comes out ashamed, defensive, and my heart drops. He has no
reason to feel that way. I would never even think to judge anyone for
something like that. But West avoids looking at me and wrings his hands
together as he continues.

"I-I never met my dad. He's just some lowlife that knocked my mom up and
split. She's never told me much about him, and I don't ask. I don't care. If he
doesn't want to be a part of my life, then I don't want to even know about
his. Casper's dad on the other hand..." he says, trailing off as his voice
tightens and jaw clenches.

His eyes go dark as he thinks about this man. His breathing gets deeper,
angrier, and instead of wringing his hands he clenches them tightly.
However, he doesn't allow me to observe his reaction for long, and he
quickly shakes it off.

"He left too," is all West chooses to say. "But it's like Casper said. We're
better off without them."

I frown deeply and reach my hand out to rest gently on West's still tense
ones. They instantly relax as he looks at me and I see some of the pain he's
been through.

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must have been."
"It was. And I just made it worse on my mom. Not having that father figure
led me to the wrong crowd when I started high school. There was this group
of guys in my neighborhood who were all older. Most were high school
dropouts and they took a liking to me. I thought they were cool. They got to
live on their own and didn't seem to have a care in the world about
anything. I wanted to be like that. So I hung around them. I stayed at their
place a lot, which I now realize would have had the average person running
for the hills if they saw it. I just did a lot of stupid shit, and honestly it's a
surprise that I didn't get sent to juvie earlier."

My heart breaks from how ashamed his tone is. His gaze is tight on the
bench, and he's once again wringing his hands together as he tells me some
of his story. But even I can tell that that's not who he is. At least not
anymore.

"You're a good guy, West."

He glances at me and gives a tight smile. "I realized when I found myself
sitting in Juvie that I couldn't let Casper fall down that path. I figured I
should at least try and be a good figure for him before it's too late."

My admiration for West skyrockets. Here he is. A guy who was dealt a
tough hand in life and he still finds a way to come out on top.

"But anyways," he says, shooting me a small smile, "how about that song?
I'd love to hear it."

I respect his decision to change the course of the conversation and turn
towards the piano. My mind goes back to the last song of mine that he sang
for me. Whatever doubt I had right before playing that for him instantly
went away when I heard his voice singing my lyrics and bringing them to
life. This song...hearing it brought to life may be just what it needs.

I begin playing and West takes my songbook into his hands to sing the
lyrics. It's not like I need to look at it anyways. My fingers dance across the
keys from memory, as they do for nearly every song in my book. When
West starts singing, I can't help but look at him. Just as he did for my other
song, he somehow knows exactly how to sing my lyrics the way I always
imagined them.

"Come back home.

It's been so long.

Life has changed,

From what it was."

So lost in the song, neither of us hear the front door open and my Dad step
inside.

"Come back home.

It's been forever,

Since you have gone.

Oh, I miss

The times together

When we were young."

My heart tugs painfully against my chest as I hear these lyrics for the first
time aloud and tears already threaten my vision. The lyrics apply to both of
my parents. One on hand, they're me begging my Dad not to stay in New
York. That things are different without him and I need him home. On the
other, they're me calling out to my mom in Heaven.

"Take me back,

Through those pictures

On the wall.

Though time's passed,

We have memories

Of it all."

I wrote these begging my dad not to let the pictures scare him away; for him
to cherish those memories of all of us together. And me begging someone,
anyone, to take me back to when I was still a little girl who had both of her
parents alive and well; to let me live in the pictures of our happy family.

I sniffle and blink away my tears so that I can still focus on the keys. West
is looking at me with his brows tugged together in concern, but he knows
that I don't want to stop.

"I wish we had

More time than we did.

I hope we find

A way to meet again.

I wish we had

More time than we did.

I hope we find

A way to meet again."

When I finish the final note, my eyes are yet again blurry with tears and I
hastily wipe them away. I feel West's eyes on me, but I continue to look
down at the keys while I attempt to control my emotional reaction to
hearing the lyrics aloud. It was beautiful. West's voice was beautiful, and
the song hit me hard.

"Thank you,

" I sign to West, finally looking up at him.

He smiles softly down at me, "All I did was sing."

"No, you brought it to life."

"Raine?"

We both snap our heads around at the sound of my Dad's voice. He's
standing at the entrance to the living room with tears in his eyes.

"You wrote that?" He asks gently, his voice choked with emotion.

My own tears come crashing back and I nod at him, biting the inside of my
lip to keep them a bay.

West, upon realizing that this moment needs to be shared by me and my

dad, quietly stands up and places the songbook on the bench.

"I just remembered I have to get Casper early from daycare. Thank you for
showing me that song, Raine. I'll text you later." Then, he leans in a little
closer to whisper, "Tell him how you feel, Sunshine. The song got you
halfway there."

I look at him and see his reassuring smile as he stands up and heads for the
door, giving my dad a quick nod of goodbye before leaving.

"You really wrote that?" Dad asks gently, walking hesitantly into the room.

"About a month after you first left for New York."

"It was beautiful."

He comes all the way into the room, still hesitant, and with a deep breath of
anticipation for the conversation about to be had, I scoot slightly over on
the piano bench so that he'll come sit next to me. He does so in an instant
and the closer he gets the more I see the tears shining in his eyes.

"Was it about-"

"You. Mom. Being left alone."

He shuts his eyes as though I said exactly what he feared.

"Raine, I am so sorry-"

"Why? Why do you always leave? Why did you leave in the first place?"

I can't stop myself from cutting him off and letting out all of the questions
that have piled up throughout the last few years.

He sighs and drops his head. I see the way he searches his thoughts for a
response, unsure of what to say.

"I should have been there more for you and Toby, I know that. It's just...this
house...Raine, it's so hard for me to be here and not have your mother
around."

"You think it isn't hard for me, too? I miss her so much, Dad. Toby and I
both do. But instead of making it easier for us, you've forced us to miss you
when we shouldn't have to."

"I didn't know what to do, Raine. Every time I walk through that door, I
just...I picture her and it breaks me."

"Didn't know what to do? Think of what Mom would have wanted you to
do! Because leaving me and Toby isn't it."

"I know that, Raine. I-"

I cut him off again, unable to hold back.

"Are Toby and I not enough?"

Dad reads my hands and I see his heart break through his eyes.

"Sweetheart, that's not it at all. You two are my whole world, don't you
know that?"

"You have a weird way of showing it."

He opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out and he blinks away
his tears.

"I didn't realize how much it hurt you. Toby seems fine and I just... when I
got that offer to move to New York part time I had to take it. I wanted to
bring you two with me, but I guess as much as I want to, I can't let go of
this house. It's like a love-hate relationship, Raine. I can't be here without
thinking of her, and that's why I stay away, but that's the exact reason I can't
get rid of it."

I sympathize with him. I understand. But it's no excuse.

"I understand that it's hard for you, Dad. But it's not just you! You have
Toby and I who struggle just like you do. Why can't you come home and be
grateful that you still have us instead of being resentful that you no longer
have mom?"

"I am grateful I have you two. I love both of you so much," he says, voice
once again choked up.

I just want him to tell me that he won't be gone anymore. That he'll come
home to stay. That Toby and I are enough for him. That we can be a family
again.

"I messed up, sweetheart. I've been gone for too long, I know that. And
apologizing isn't going to solve anything. I've been wanting to talk to you I-
I just didn't know how. I want to come home for good. I thought New York
would give my mind a break from thinking of your mother so much, but it's
just made things so much harder because I end up just missing you and
Toby and-"

I cut him off and throw myself into his chest as I hug him tightly. He's
slightly knocked back from shock but instantly hugs me back. I squeeze
him tight as tears leak from the corners of my shut eyes.

"Then stay, Dad. That's all I want; is you home."

I sign when I pull away.

He nods, "I am. I will. No more leaving, Raine. I promise."

OoO

After Dad and I had our talk, he started on dinner and I texted Alyse about
the whole thing. She was over here 10 minutes later to drag me to my room
and get a play by play of the whole thing. She knows how big of a deal this
is for me.

"He said he would stay. He just has to move out of his place in New York
and finish one more project that they are working on, and in a month he will
be back for good."

Alyse nearly tackles me with her excited hug.

"Raine!" She exclaims, laughing happily at me, "That's awesome!"

I smile with her and nod,

"I'm really happy about it. He still has a lot of catching up to do for me to
fully forgive him, but for the first time he's taking a huge step in the right
direction."

A second later, my phone buzzes in my pocket and I grab it to see who the
text is from.

East:

How'd the talk go?

My smile only gets bigger as I quickly text him back, letting him know that
Dad is now here to stay and thanking him for pushing me to talk to him.

"From your smile I'm going to assume that's West," Alyse says slyly.

I scoff and throw a pillow at her, which she catches with a laugh and throws
to the side.

"Admit it! You're totally texting West!"

"

No."

Alyse raises a disbelieving brow at me.

"I'm texting East."

Alyse lets the joke go right past her, too excited that I somewhat admitted to
it.

"So you

are!

Let me see!" She exclaims, lunging for my phone in my hand.

I try to keep it away from her, but somehow she has brute strength and is
able to pin my arm down and grab it, quickly reading our messages.

"'East'?" She snorts, "'Oh West, thank you so so much for getting me to talk
to my dad! I'm so in love with you!'" She mocks, completely making up her
own version of my response.

I snag my phone back from her and roll my eyes.

"That is definitely not what I said."

"I summarized."

"I said 'Thank you for pushing me to talk to him.' Not quite your summary."

"You didn't deny the last part," she says slyly.

I snort,

"I am not in love with West."

"Ah, but you do like him?" She pries further. "Because he clearly likes
you."

I chuckle, leave it to Alyse to try and play matchmaker.

"How do you figure that?"

She smirks as well and turns fully towards me. "Because he doesn't look at
other girls the way he looks at you."

She shocks me with her answer and I can't think of any response. It's clear
that West and I are getting close and that I think about him a whole lot more
than I do Tyler and Gray. And after his little sign language confession
yesterday...there might actually be something brewing between us.

"And I know you like him too, because you look at him just the same."

---

10/25/2020 - And there it is! This chapter took me forever to edit. I rewrote
it like 5 different times because I couldn't quite get it the way I wanted it. I
hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think :) My Instagram gained
nearly 50 new followers today! So, I will be posting another update
tomorrow. I just don't have the brain capacity or the time do edit another
chapter tonight :/
Chapter Twenty Two (Edited
10/26/2020)
Just from posting the last chapter, I gained 100+ more votes! At this rate,
I'll be to 1K in no time :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter- it's a long and emotional one ;)

10/26/2020 - It's amazing to see how far I've come when I read my little
notes like ^^ those, lol. It goes to show that we all have to start somewhere!
This book wasn't always popular. It took months upon months for me to pick
up readers. So, to any new authors out there, don't give up if the views
aren't instantly pouring in.

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Two

Sunlight flows into my room through my bay window, causing a red outline
to be seen behind my closed eyes. I groan and turn over to face the other
way, but the light somehow captures this side of my room too. With a sigh I
slowly open my eyes, blinking to get used to the sudden change of aperture.
I smack my lips and slowly sit up, scratching my head as I do. My lazy eyes
trail to my clock and I squint at the neon red digits.

8:15 AM

It's been a couple of weeks since Dad decided to move back in permanently.
He left the day after our talk to go back to New York and settle all that
needed to be done before he could come back to stay. He's still there sorting
all of that out, and he missed Thanksgiving for the second year in a row. He
warned Toby and me that it may take a month or a little longer to get all of
that done, but adamantly promised that it

would

get done and he

would

be coming back. No matter what.

West and I have been hanging out a decent amount; one on one and with the
whole group. Toby made it clear that he wants to get in as many parent-free
nights as possible before Dad moves back in permanently, so everyone has
come over every day of the past two weekends. It's been fun; our group is
getting closer and closer and now West feels like he's been with all of us for
a lot longer than just two months. Although, it would be hard to miss the
obvious tension between him and Tyler. I ignore it the best I can, but I don't
miss the small glares they send to one another when they think no one is
looking.

I close my eyes for a second and mentally prepare to get up. I roll over and
grab my phone, letting out a dejected sigh as I realize I forgot to plug it in
last night. I mentally slap myself and hesitantly glance at the percentage. It
only has 40% left. I purse my lips with a scowl and begin to unlock my
phone, but as I see the date resting just beneath the time, I freeze in place
and my blood runs cold.

December 5th.

My mother's death anniversary.

I was hoping Dad would be moved back in in time for today. I was hoping
that for the first time in years we would be able to mourn during this day
together. But, I suppose that with how hard it is for him to be here, being
here on this particular day may be asking too much. However, he at least
had the sense to text and my phone buzzes in my hand.

Dad:

Thinking of you and Toby extra today. I'm sorry I'm not there, I will be in
another week. Love you both.

I let out a silent sigh and drop my phone from my hand to my bed, suddenly
not knowing what to do. I knew this day was coming up, but no amount of
preparation could get one ready to mourn their mother. I mourn her every
day, I think about her every day, I miss her every day...but the anniversary
of her death is different. It's harder to get through. Having the memory of
West singing my song

Pictures

doesn't make it any easier, either. I wonder if she heard him singing it. I
wonder if she was watching from Heaven, having the same teary-eyed
reaction as my father and being there as we talked.

It's the 12th year I've been without her, and every year seems harder than
the last.

Every year on the day of my mother's death anniversary, Toby drives me to

her grave two hours away. It's located in the town she met my father in, they
had decided to be buried there together. However, my dad never expected
for her to have to be buried so soon. No one did.

Toby hasn't paid his respects since Dad moved to New York. He's agreed to
drive me every year since he got his license, but he simply sits in his truck
while I walk down to her grave. I think it's partly because he thinks she's
disappointed in him for being unable to protect me. Of course he's
ridiculous to think that anyone would blame him for what Warren did, but
he's alluded to the thought a few times and nothing I say ever changes his
mind.

Toby keeps a lot of his emotions pent up inside of him, and the loss of Mom
is one of them. It may be easier for him not to walk down to her gravestone,
but that's not the case for me.

I throw my covers off my body, the chill in my house seeping through my

skin and making my bones shatter. My frown deepens as I shuffle to my
closet and pull on a sweatshirt, heading to my brothers room directly after. I
don't want to waste anymore time, I want to be able to spend as long as
possible with her.
I pad down the hallway and gently knock on his door. I get no response
back and I push the slightly cracked door open to find that his sheets are
empty.

My eyebrows furrow as I look around his vacant room. I check his bedside
to see if his phone is here, but when I don't see it even more confusion
enters me. Then everything clicks when I remember he went to a party last
night; he hasn't come home yet.

My heart drops and I pull my phone from my pocket, quickly texting him to
ask where the hell he is. On any other occasion I may not be too upset that
he isn't yet home, but today...I need him. He's the only one who can truly
understand how I feel, because he's the only one who has been through the
same thing.

I miss my mom every day. Every time I play her old piano I think of her
and I try to remember what it was like to be held by her, what it was like to
feel her love coursing through me, how it felt to know I had my mom with
me. Every day I wish she was still here with me, but I've come to terms that
she's not.

And that hurts.

I take one last look around Toby's room and walk down the steps and make
myself breakfast as I wait for him to answer my text. When he doesn't
respond after twenty minutes, I start to panic. Not because I'm worried of
where he may be- I know he's most likely passed out on the couch of
wherever the party was held- but because I don't know how I will get to my
mom. I haven't gotten my license yet, but I have to go see her. I haven't
missed an anniversary since it first happened.

I force myself to stay calm and remember that I have three other friends
with cars, and I click on the first name that pops up on my most recent
messages.

Tyler
He was texting me late last night because it turns out Alyse and I got him
hooked on

The Vampire Diaries

, so he was texting me his play-by-play reactions.

I send him a quick text and busy myself with unloading the dishwasher as I
wait for him to respond. When I finish, I practically lunge for my phone and
press the home button for the screen to light up, but nothing but my
wallpaper shows.

I realize it's only 9:00 in the morning, and for someone who spent their
entire Saturday night watching

The Vampire Diaries

, it's too early to wake up.

Then my mind goes straight to the most obvious option: West. He and I
have become close and I've shared a lot about my parents with him. My
only hesitation is how vulnerable today makes me. It's one thing to share
the details of her death with West and even let him sing that song about her
and my Dad, but it's another to let him accompany me to her gravesite. To
let him witness what will most likely be an unavoidable emotional response
to today's significance. But I really have no other choice.

Me:

Hey, what are you doing today?

East:

Morning Sunshine- and nothing, why what's up?

Me:
Can you come over?

Just seconds later I get a text back.

East:

On my way... everything ok?

I hesitate responding to him because I don't want to be alone today. And I'm
afraid of scaring him off with a text explaining what I need from him; to
have him drive just over two hours to a cemetery for a girl he's only known
for 2 months. So I choose to wait until he gets here to tell him.

Ten minutes later, I see that familiar banged up Jeep roar into the driveway
and West step out. Since it's finally December, it's absolutely freezing in
Illinois. Today is a rare day where it hasn't dropped below 30 degrees (F),
it's actually 40, but it's still rather cold. West is able to get away with just
wearing his loose leather jacket overtop of a gray hoodie, but I imagine he
may still be chilly. Since his jacket is a mix between bomber and moto, the
outfit works.

He jogs to the front door and I go to let him in before he can even pull his
hands from his pockets to knock. As soon as I open the door, I'm met with
the chilly air and West quickly shuts it to escape the cold. He looks me over
quickly with furrowed brows.

"You didn't reply. Is everything okay, Sunshine? I can't imagine you wanted
me over just for an emergency ASL lesson."

My eyes drift to a cluster of pictures on the wall and I spot one of my mom
with me and Toby. The happiness in her eyes causes me to shut mine and
and turn my head away. When I open them, West walks closer to me with
worried eyes and tries to catch my gaze.

"Raine, what's wrong?"

"I didn't reply right away because I didn't want to scare you away-"
"Hey," West says gently, cutting me off, "You aren't going to scare me off,
Sunshine. What do you need? I'll do whatever it is."

The sincerity of his words sends a rush of relief over me and I give him a
look of gratitude. West and I have been having frequent lessons, and he's
nearly fluent in ASL at this point. I've had to pull out my phone less and
less to talk to him, and it's a relieving feeling.

"Today is the anniversary of my mom's death. Toby isn't home and...every

year he drives me to her grave so that I can pay my respects but he isn't
here to take me and I can't drive myself."

"And you want me to drive you?"

I nod.

What if he's freaked out by me asking? What if he thinks it's a bit too much
for two people who have only been friends a couple of months?

"You were afraid I'd be scared off by that?" West asks with a small smile,
"I'd be honored to drive you, Raine. Don't be afraid to ask me that."

"It's just that it's a long drive and we've only been friends for a couple of
months, and you could have had plans today. I didn't want you to feel
pressured into taking me."

"Plans or no plans I would drive you."

I meet his eyes as my heart melts and I smile softly. "

Thank you.

" I sign, relief settling in.

We leave the house and I instantly regret wearing nothing but a hoodie and
leggings, but I don't want to turn around for a coat. It's already nearing 10
o'clock, and the drive is two hours long. I want to be able to spend time
there without feeling rushed. I can brave through the cold air.
I give West the address and he plugs it in, even though I know the route by
heart.

"You know," West starts as we pull onto the highway, "I don't know much
about your mom. What was she like?"

I glance at him and frown slightly.

"I was young when she passed, so I don't remember as much as I wish I
did."

"Well tell me what you do remember. Help me to learn just who..." He

pauses for a few seconds before he chuckles. "See? I don't even know her
first name."

"Janet."

I sign, the ghost of a smile lighting my lips.

"Janet?" He confirms, and I nod. "Alright, then help me to learn just who
Janet Winter is."

I look at West for a second or two with a thoughtful smile lighting up my

lips. He glances at me and furrows his brow with a light smile of his own.

"What?" He asks.

I shake my head and look down at my lap.

"My mom...she was amazing. Well respected by everyone."

I begin, turning to look out the window.

"She worked in the child care system. Helped kids get out of violent homes
and into safe ones. I don't think there was ever a kid she failed to get into a
stable, loving home."
I don't look over at West, because I know he isn't getting everything I'm
saying. He has to pay attention to the road, not my hands. But I know he
didn't ask me about my mother for himself.

He did it for me.

"She was honestly the best mother I could ever imagine having. She never
raised her voice with us unless totally necessary. She wouldn't take out a
bad day on us, instead she would use Toby and I as a way to feel better."

I sign with an unconscious smile.

"She made her love for us known. She made her love for my father known."

My gaze falls to my seat as memories rack my brain.

"I remember one night, her and dad were going on a date night. It must
have only been a month or so before the car wreck. My parents had been
gone for only an hour before I started throwing a temper tantrum to our
babysitter, whining for my mommy to come home. The sitter ended up
calling my parents and they had to come home."

I sign with an ironic laugh.

"If only I had known what was to come. I would have used that as a
preparation."

I sigh and my eyes follow the trees we drive past.

"So your parents were close?" West asks me quietly.

"Hopelessly in love with one another. My dad never remarried after she
passed away, even if it may have benefited Toby and I."

The GPS sounds just as I finish and directs West to take the next exit. I
glance out the window to see our surroundings, and familiarity runs through
me. We aren't far now, we've entered the small, rural town they grew up in.
We pull up to a stop light just off the exit and I begin to sign.
"This is the town my parents fell in love in."

West smiles over at me. "Now this I have to know... what's their story?"

"They were childhood friends. Best friends. From the day they met in
kindergarten they were inseparable. But my dad moved away when they
reached middle school."

I begin as we near the cemetery.

"They moved on. It was the 80s, so it's not like they had social media or
cellphones to keep contact with one another. According to my dad, though,
he thought about her every day. He hoped she thought about him too. Their
senior year, my dad's family moved back to town and he started going to the
same school as her again. He recognized her right away. He always tells
me that she only became even more beautiful. When the finally reconnected,
he didn't waste any time. He asked her out and... I guess the rest is history."

My mom used to tell me that story when I was a little girl. I didn't
remember much of it, but after she passed I would ask my dad to tell me
their story all the time instead of reading me fairytale books. Their love was
like a fairytale romance to me. It was better than any book he could have
read. Now that I'm older, I realize just how cheesy and out of the ordinary it
was. And maybe that's why their love was so strong. Maybe that's why it
was so hard for him to lose her.

West pulls up to the cemetery and my thoughts fizzle out, any good feelings
I had going with it. I take a deep breath as I direct him where to park. To
add to the mood, it starts to rain just as West shuts off his Jeep; it's only a
light sprinkle, but with the dark clouds I can tell it's going to pick up soon.

I sigh as I unbuckle. "

Perfect weather for the mood, I guess

."
West frowns, "I'll wait here in the Jeep. Wave me over if you need me,
okay?"

I nod, offering him the ghost of a smile as I open the door and step into the
light drizzle. I stand there for a second or two, staring down the grassy hill
that my mom's grave sits at the base of. I glance back at West's Jeep,
catching his concerned eyes watching me, then I begin to walk down the
slope.

A flashback of the first day I came here floods into my mind, breaking the
weak dam poorly put together to keep these memories away.

My four year old self stands with her hand being gripped tightly in that of
her father, the other loosely holding onto a young Toby's hand as he stands
tall; trying to be brave for the watching eyes. Tears run down my naive
cheeks, red from the chill in the air. A small coat hugs my shoulders as my
father tries to hold himself together next to me, silent sobs racking his body.

I turn my head to look at his hand, white with the force he's gripping my
hand. But I don't say anything. Instead I look back at the casket in front of
me; large and black with a dash of yellow dotted on the top. Daisies; bright
yellow even though this isn't the season for them to bloom.

A raindrop lands on my nose and pulls me from the memory, and I become
aware of my surroundings. The warmth of my father's hand blows away
with the wind and a cold shudder racks through my body. The casket that
holds my mother morphs back into her gravestone- standing on its own
looking lonely and lost.

It's large and gray, just a few simple words covering the polished stone.

Here lies Janet Abbott Winter

Loving wife and mother.

1970-2004
My eyes cloud over and I reach out to trail my hand over the words, water
droplets slowly sliding down the dark and lonely stone. I look to her final
quote written just under the dates, and the back of my throat burns with
tears.

"Every story has an end. But in life, every ending is a new beginning."

I take a deep breath and slowly sink to my knees to be level with her words.
I don't see how her end could be a new beginning. Nothing good came out
of her being taken from this world and placed into heaven.

"

Hey mom

." I begin. "

Can you believe it's been 12 years? Somehow I can. I find that the feeling of
being held in your arms is close to being completely stolen by the years."

I bite my lip and look down at the grass, feeling it thread through my
fingers. The rain droplets transfer onto my skin and make my hands wet,
but that's the last thing I could care about right now. My eyes trail to the sky
as the light rain continues, and I sigh sadly.

"I'm sorry Toby isn't here. I know you miss him. And he misses you, he just...
He's not proud of who he is, and he worries you won't be either."

I sign, looking back at her stone. "

Everything is good at school so far. I have all A's, and music is still my
favorite class. Mr. C loved the songs I gave to him this year, and the class
has done well with them. I made each of them with the help of your piano. I
like to think you listen to me every time I sit down and play it."

A chilling wind blows by and I blow my breath onto my hands so that they
don't freeze up.
The rain starts coming down harder, and the wind slightly picks up. The
rain soaks into my clothes and ultimately into my skin, seeping deeper and
making my body freeze. I shiver and pull my light sweatshirt tighter around
my body to provide even a little bit of warmth.

"This is the first year it's rained

." I sign regretfully, glancing up at the sky.

"But I'm not leaving

."

All of the sudden I feel a warm weight placed around my shoulders and I
snap my head to the side. West stands next to me with an unreadable
expression on his face, his dark brown eyes clouded with his thoughts. His
clothes are already soaking wet, his hair matted down from the rain.

"Your brother would kill me if I let you catch a cold." He says softly before
walking back up the hill and to his car.

My hands come up to the jacket he placed around my shoulders and a small

smile slips onto my lips as I pull it tight around me. It's his leather jacket.

I look back at my mom's gravestone, turning my back to West at the top of

the hill, and smile.

"I guess he's someone you wouldn't expect to see here. That's West. West
Love. He's supposed to be the famous delinquent of our town, but I've been
getting to know him and he doesn't really fit that mold. He's one of the best
people I've ever met."

I chuckle and bite my lip as I continue.

"I think I like him, mom. There's something about him...he makes me feel
safe. Like I'm not broken. I haven't felt this way ever since what happened
with Warren. We haven't known one another long and my feelings scare me.
It's hard for me to trust, you know? But with him...well, it's almost easy.
That alone should worry me, right?"
I glance behind me at his Jeep up the hill and then back to her gravestone.

"He's gotten me to open up to him about you. About Dad. And while I know
there's something special about that, it's terrifying to know that he and I are
getting so close. I still have so much to hide, mom. But how can I keep it
hidden from him?"

When I look at her gray tombstone my heart sinks and a grim thought hits
me.

"I find it odd, mom, that when people talk to those they've lost, they look at
their gravestone. It's not like you have been reincarnated into the stone,
you're still buried just beneath me. Yet you don't see me staring down at the
ground."

I shake my head before continuing.

"Maybe it would have been smarter to make your gravestone flat on the
ground rather than sticking out as it does now. But dad insisted, and my
younger self didn't think to stop him. My younger self didn't think to do a lot
of things."

Tears start to reach my eyes and I bite my lip.

"Another thing, mom... I don't even know if you can understand me. I mean,
how am I to know if you learned sign language. What if they don't even
teach it in heaven?"

I question, wiping my eyes as the rain mixes in with my tears. "

For all I know you could just be seeing random hand signals and have no
clue what the hell I'm doing. Heck, how are you even to know I'm trying to
talk to you?"

I question, my tears intensifying.

All I want to do is be able to talk to her. And I can't even do that.

All because of one night.

One stupid night that's made me weak. A night that has somehow defined
me even when everyone around me told me not to let it. A night that haunts
me every time I close my eyes. A night that's keeping me from fully
opening up to a guy who clearly wants to be there for me. A night that won't
even allow me to mourn my mom properly.

She needs to know that I want to talk to her. I want to talk. I'm tired of
having to sign everything I think.

I close my eyes for a few seconds and swallow. I open them and stare up at
the cloudy sky through vision blurred by tears, the wind blowing everything
around and raindrops landing all over my face.

I try to force the words from my mouth. Something; anything. At first

nothing but a labored breath comes out, so I try again. I open my mouth
again and envision myself talking. I try to imagine the words pouring from
my lips as they used to. All I have to do is force the words from my lips,
everyone does it. I take a deep breath, my heart pounding in anticipation,
and force my words out.

Nothing but a strangled groan is heard.

I shut my mouth and my eyes slowly trail back to the ground as sobs rack
my body. Tears begin to drip from my eyes and they mix in with the rain so
that I can't tell which is which.

I can't even talk to my mom.

I can't talk to anyone. No one can understand me unless they truly pay
attention. My mom doesn't even know I'm trying to communicate with her.
For all she knows I've forgotten about her.

My body starts to shake more intensely with sobs and my hands thread
through the grass as the irritation builds.

I can't talk because of Warren. I can't hug my mother, I can't hold her, I can't
tell her how much I love and miss her.
I can't talk. My innocence was stolen from me when I was only thirteen. I
don't have a mother. And I barely have a father.

I shut my eyes tight and rip the grass from the ground and then throw
myself down onto it with a frustrated scream. I bury my face in my arms
while my shoulders shake with sobs. My breathing starts to hitch and
become erratic, and it makes me cry harder.

All I want to do is be able to talk! I just want to talk aloud to my mother's

spirit and believe she can hear me.

Understand

me.

More cries escape me and I press my hands to my head. I don't bother to try
and quiet myself, because I know there's no use. This is the only way
people can hear me anyways. My sobs sound desperate and frustrated, and
they resemble everything inside of me.

The only thing they're missing is emptiness.

I don't think I've ever felt this hopeless.

My entire body shakes and my breath hitches and hurts my chest. I shut my
eyes and pound at the ground as I continue to let out strangled sounds.

All of the sudden I feel arms wrap around me, attempting to shield me from
my unforgiving thoughts.

"I'm so sorry, Raine," he whispers.

Without opening my eyes I curl into West's body and cry into his chest. I
heave with endless sobs and grip his shirt with a weak hold. He gently rocks
us while I sob violently into his already wet clothes, letting out years of
frustration in one breakdown. The rain continues to pour down around us,
soaking us to the bone while West lightly shushes me and rubs my back,
slowly calming me down.
My tears stop pouring down my face, and soon I'm able to focus on calming
my breathing. I try to just take deep breaths, but every time I do I start to
choke out sobs and let out quick, painful breaths that rack my entire body.
West holds me tighter as I do, and eventually I'm able to breath normally,
the sobs finally gone.

He stands up with me still cradled in his arms and walks back up the hill
towards his car. The rain's still falling torrential from the depressed sky, but
neither of us care. The raindrops wash away the salty stains that trail down
my cheeks, but they don't wash away the pain and memories.

West sets me down in his Jeep and takes his soaking leather jacket off of
me, throwing it into the back. He closes the door and walks towards his
side, quickly getting in and shutting his door. I wipe my eyes as he turns
and grabs something out of the back seat and I focus on controlling my
breathing and getting it back to normal. I jump when a blanket is draped
across me, providing the warmth my body needs.

I glance at West as he starts the car. His hair is soaked from the rain, matted
down against his head, but he runs his hand through it to try and comb it
back. A few water droplets fall down his temple and he turns his head to
look at me.

"I told you, Toby will kill me if I let you you catch a cold." He says quietly,
offering me a small, sympathetic smile.

"Thank you."

I sign with shaky hands, pulling the blanket tighter around me and using it
to wipe away the tears and rain drops under my eyes.

"Do you want to stay longer?" He asks gently.

I look back out at her gravestone at the bottom of the hill. The trees around
us are whirring and swaying from the heavy wind, and it's beginning to rain
so hard I can barely see all the way down the hill. So, I shake my head and
cuddle further into the blanket as I look away.
"Okay, let's get you home."

West backs out and starts the two hour trek home. The blanket he gave me
may be warm, but somehow I can't help but notice how it doesn't even
compare to how I felt when West held me in his arms. Maybe the difference
is the comfort I felt as he calmed my breakdown, the safety his arms
provided. But I know that I want to be back in them until this day ends.

I jump slightly when I feel a gentle hand encase mine and thread my
fingers. I look over at West, but his eyes are focused on the road ahead.

I may not have a mother, and I may barely have a father; but I have West.
And for some reason, that's enough to make me happy.

----

10/26/2020 - I was sure not to change too much about this chapter. I am
honestly shocked that I was able to write something this emotional when I
was only 15 and hadn't experienced the loss of anyone close to me... I am so
glad I was able to keep all of the comments on this chapter because you
guys are so kind to me. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I
enjoyed writing it.

If this chapter pulled on your heartstrings, then please go follow my

Instagram and Twitter!
Chapter Twenty Three (Edited
10/27/2020)
Thank you all so much for the votes and comments! Also, love love love the
attached cover :)

10/27/2020 - Went ahead and gave y'all another quick edit! Please don't be
afraid to comment, comment, comment!

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Three

The car ride was fairly silent. The only time West spoke was to ask me if I
was cold. I nodded off and fell into a light sleep for the last hour, but when
West hit the familiar bump that tells me we've turned onto my street so I
yawn and sit up slightly. Thankfully it's not raining here, but I can tell from
the dark clouds that the storm followed us home and it may start raining
soon.

I see Toby's truck in the driveway and I cringe when I realize I never texted
him where I was headed. But, I hope he at least remembers what today is
and put two and two together.

"You going to be okay, Sunshine?" West asks as he shuts his Jeep off and
looks at me.

I take a deep breath as I stare up at my house and force myself to nod. We

get out of West's Jeep and he walks me to the front door. Both of our clothes
are still soaked and it's causing me to shiver like crazy. When we walk up
the front steps, I pause and turn to him before heading inside.

"Thank you again, West. For being there for me. I know it may have been a
lot...to see me like that."

I suddenly look away from him as I realize that he really did witness me
completely break down. But West steps closer to me and takes my hand in
his, causing me to look at him.

"Don't look embarrassed, Sunshine. You have no reason to be," he says

seriously. "Sometimes we have to let it all out."

Not knowing what to say in response, I choose to wrap my arms around his
torso and hug him. He doesn't hesitate at all and hugs me back, cradling my
head that's tucked into his shoulder. The heartache that today brings is still
there, but snuggled into his warmth allows me to escape the worst of it.

When we pull apart West stares down at me with soft, unreadable eyes. He
tucks some of my damp hair behind my ear, causing my pulse to quicken
from his soft touch, and rests his hand on my cheek. My heart pounds
harder while he looks at me before my eyes flutter shut as he leans in and
softly kisses my forehead. His warm lips graze my skin as he lightly presses
them against my forehead, letting them linger for a few seconds.

When he pulls back I open my eyes to see his small smile, and his hand
falls back down to his side. I'm too shocked to move or sign anything in
response, but my body is on fire with the lasting feeling of his lips against
my skin. After a few silent moments, West takes a step back and puts his
hands in his pockets as his smile melts into a small, playful smirk.

"Forehead is a little hot, you should get inside and into some warm clothes
to make sure you really don't catch a cold."

Then he starts down the front porch steps and to his Jeep, sending me one
more smile.

"I'll see you at school, Sunshine," he calls just before shutting the door and
driving off.

With flushed cheeks, I gently lift my hand to my forehead and graze my

fingers across his kiss. But before I have time to even think about it, the
front door swings open and I turn to see a very disheveled Toby with wide,
frantic eyes.

"Raine! Oh my God, where have you been? I've been trying to call you."
My brows knit together as I stare at him, waiting for him to understand
what today is. What it means to me. Where it took me. But when that
realization never reaches his eyes, I brush past him to go inside as I sign.

"I was at mom's grave."

I go upstairs to change out of my wet clothes and trade them for sweatpants
and a different hoodie that I stole from my Dad's closet. Then, I decide to
head back downstairs and talk to Toby.

When I reach the bottom step, I see Toby sitting hunched over on the couch,
his hands deep in his hair as he stares at the coffee table.

"I..." He begins, swallowing. "I didn't even remember it was her

anniversary." He says almost to himself.

I look down and then back at him as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"I've never missed an anniversary." He says. "I drive you every year."

I slowly walk into the living room and stand in front of him. He doesn't
look up, just squints at the carpet for a few silent moments.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, finally looking up at me. He shakes his head and
opens his mouth, but pauses and his eyes trail around the room. "I'm sorry."

I frown deeply and sit down next to him, placing my hand comfortingly on
his back. He looks over at me and I see the regret that clouds his eyes. I
offer a small nod and the ghost of a forgiving smile, and pull him towards
me. He rests his head on my shoulder and I rest my chin atop his head as I
rub his back.

"I miss her." He says quietly.

I miss her too.

"I wish she was still here."

I know.
"Why did this have to happen to us?"

I'm sorry.

OoO

Toby and I ended up staying downstairs as we recalled memories of Mom.

Anything we could remember. We even FaceTimed Dad so that he could
tell us more stories about her, ones we had heard a thousand times before
and some that he had never told us. This particular anniversary of her death
is one I won't forget.

Now it's Monday and we're pulling into the parking lot. Tyler and Gray are
already hanging out by Toby's parking spot, waiting for us to pull up. As
soon as we get out, Tyler is at my side and offers to take my backpack for
me.

"That's okay, I've got it."

I sign after putting it on my back, giving him a small smile.

He shrugs and throws an arm around my shoulders as we walk towards the

school doors.

"How was your weekend?" He asks.

"It was...good."

You know, other than the mental breakdown I had in the pouring rain at my
mom's grave on her death anniversary while West sat in his Jeep and
watched.

"Did you do the calculus homework?" Gray asks, walking on my other side
as we catch up to Toby and Alyse who are laughing together up ahead.

I nod, "

But I wasn't able to get a few."

He sighs, "Same."

Tyler looks down at me. "I kinda didn't get any of them. Wanna help me out
and give me whatever answers you have?"

I sigh at him,

"We do this every week

."

"How about to make it up to you, I'll buy you a new Mockingjay DVD? I
know your old one got scratched and doesn't work anymore."

I stay quiet to see how much more I can get out of him.

"Okay...How about I buy you that DVD

and

I take you out to dinner?" He offers.

I chuckle lightly, but I feel an awkward weight placed on my shoulders.

Tyler, over the last couple of weeks, has been awfully flirtatious with me
and it's unlike him. Before I have a chance to respond, not that I know
exactly what I would have said, someone else does.

"Sounds lovely, where are we going?" West answers.

I perk up when I see him walk to us, sending me a discreet wink.

Tyler coughs awkwardly. "Well, I was actually talking about just me and-"

"Hey, sis, come here for a second." Toby calls, cutting Tyler off.

I nod at him and Tyler's arm falls from my shoulders. I pick up my pace to
catch up to him and Alyse, but West stops me before I do.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks quietly, referring to yesterday.

"I'm okay. We called our Dad and talked with him for a long time on
FaceTime, it ended up being a great day of remembrance."

West smiles, but all too soon it melts into a smirk as his eyes turn
mischievous. "I'm glad, but I was more referring to that oncoming fever I
sensed. Or was that just from your massive blush?"

I gape at him, once again unable to come up with any sort of response
which only makes his smirk deepen as he points at my face.

"Yeah, that's the one."

My hands come up to my cheeks that are warm to the touch and it only
makes my blush worsen. West starts laughing and nudges me as we walk
towards Toby and Alyse with Gray and Tyler trailing behind us.

"Hey West," Toby says once we reach them. "I never thanked you for
driving Raine yesterday, so...thanks man. You were there for her."

West smiles and glances down at me, "Don't mention it."

"Raine I saw your text asking me to drive you when I woke up," Tyler
quickly interjects. "If I had woken up earlier I would have driven you, you
know that."

"I know. I just needed to go right away."

"Why were you up so early, anyway?" Tyler asks West.

West crosses his arms over his chest, "Well, 9 isn't that early, but my little
brother insisted on waking me up at 8 so that we could watch

Spongebob

together."
I chuckle as I imagine Casper running into West's room and forcing him
awake all just for a TV show. And I bet West doesn't put up much of an
argument to it, either. Even from such a small interaction at my dinner with
them, I can tell Casper has West wrapped around his finger.

"So this party coming up on Friday." Gray begins, changing the course of
the conversation.

"Gray, it's literally Monday," Alyse says.

"Your point?"

She puts her hands up in surrender and he continues.

"Kyle is hosting. Some guys on the basketball team convinced him to host a
party while his parents are away for the weekend. We need a DD, so West I
was hoping you'd offer."

"Offering and being asked are two different things," West says.

"Sooo, is that a yes? You'll go and then drive us all home?"

West rolls his eyes but I see the smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
"Sure, you guys need to get home somehow."

Alyse chuckles, "Who would have thought West Love to be the designated
driver at parties?"

"Who would have thought West Love to do a lot of the things he does."

I sign.

The others continue to talk about the party, but my comment catches West's
attention.

He looks down at me and tilts his head. "Like what?"

My mind is instantly met with every moment we've shared together where
he's proven he's not at all what I first thought. Him singing my songs, me
meeting his family, and yesterday...it's all proven that there is so much more
to West Love than the rumors say.

He stares at me for a few seconds. "Like care about you?" He suggests.

I can feel Tyler's eyes burning holes into me, but I conveniently avoid his
gaze and instead focus on West as I fight back a blush. I smile sheepishly at
him.

"I was going to say like learn ASL."

Before West can respond, everyone's conversation is cut off by seductive

giggling and Tina saunters over to us. She places her hand seductively on
Tyler's arm, finally breaking his gaze from being stuck on me to regretfully
going to her.

"Hey Ty," she drawls. "Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if we

could...erm... talk?" She asks, batting her eyelashes.

He smirks at her and his hand instantly comes to land on her waist. He
glances between West and myself, a flash of pain going across his eyes, and
then he looks back down at Tina.

"I'll catch y'all later." He says huskily, walking down the hall with her
attached to his hip.

I watch Tyler walk away. He has become awfully hard to read. He's started
flirting with me more, which has given both me and Alyse the suspicion
that he may have developed feelings for me, yet he hasn't backed off on
sleeping around and flirting with other girls. Before, our friendship was
easy because he didn't flirt, now...things are getting a little odd.

"So, the party is at Kyle's Friday night?" Toby confirms with Gray.

"Yeah, plans seem to be set in stone."

West looks over at me. "Are you gonna go, Sunshine?" He asks.
My body nearly jumps from the shock of the question and I snap my eyes to
West. He's staring closely at me; examining me and my response. He's
testing me. He's already proven he cares about me and he clearly wants to
see how much I'm willing to extend the trust that goes with that.

I've already told West so much about me, but is it possible he knows there's
something major that I'm leaving out? And how much longer can I hide that
secret of mine? I'm once again reminded of the dangers of letting West get
so close to me. Reminded of the vulnerability that I'm exposing myself to
by being friends with him and teetering on the edge of wanting more.

But I start thinking about how angry I was at myself yesterday; about how
much my breakdown came from my frustration towards being unable to talk
over one stupid night. It's true that I've let that night control me. Hell, it
took my voice away. Can I really let it control my relationship with West,
too?

So, instead of cowering away like I have for the last three years and letting
that one fateful night win, I meet the challenge head on.

"Sure, why not?"

I think it's about time I face that particular fear of mine.

---

10/27/2020 - I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter :) I did some dialogue

edits, but nothing major in the plot was altered. I simply added a scene in
the beginning between Raine and West, and I made Raine's decision to go to
the party more important (since it's a huge deal). Before, she pretty much
just said "yeah okay Imma go why not?" and that clearly wasn't a very
reasonable reaction... So, let me know what you thought!
Chapter Twenty Four (Edited
10/29/2020)
This unique cover was made by none other than

WesternStarGazer

10/29/2020 - After, like, 5 years, I finally understand why WesternStarGazer

put a strawberry in the cover- maybe it's meant to hint that, like
strawberries, Raine is also West's weakness? Hmmm... food for thought
(pun intended). Also, you guys said you really enjoyed me morphing songs
into the edits so I included another in this chapter. As you can tell from
there being 0 in-line comments, I went ahead and pretty much rewrote this
entire chapter. So please give it some love!

Song:

Ran Away

by

Hollow Coves

(attached)

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Four

Mr. C decided he wanted another song for the showcase and gave me a
rather strict deadline to complete it. I told West about it today at lunch and
he offered to come over after school and help, and now we're both chilling
in the living room trying to come up with a song fit for the Chorus
showcase. He brought his guitar over to help provide a different sound in
hopes that it will help with creating lyrics.

He's sitting on the sectional; lounging back on the 'L' portion of the couch
with his guitar resting comfortably in his hands as he strums some chords. I
watch his forearms flex as he shifts his hand on the neck of the guitar, the
veins popping out just slightly. I scan his body momentarily without even
realizing it, silently appreciating his build. I can easily imagine the abs that
undoubtedly lie beneath his shirt, if his muscled arms and toned shoulders
are any indicator.

My mind goes to the times I've been held in those arms and the safety that I
felt. Is it all false security? Just an illusion brought on by strong arms that
are tricking me into feeling safe and protected, or do I need to keep my
guard up? The closer he's getting to learning my deepest darkest secret the
more my mind is battling on how to handle it. I still have a lot to lose from
West discovering the truth; him included.

"Sunshine?"

I jump in my seat when West says my name- well...nickname, and blink a

few times as I focus on meeting his cocky gaze. Please pretend like you
didn't just catch me staring...

"Maybe after we finish writing this song I can give you a lesson in how to
stare more discreetly."

I fight the urge to bury my face in my hands from embarrassment and

instead choose to pointedly look away.

"Yeah right, there's no such thing as discreet staring."

West smirks. "You sure about that?"

I nod, faltering in confidence from the mischievous gleam in his eye.

"You've never caught me."

If my face wasn't red before, it sure as hell is now.

"Just help me with the song,"

I sign, turning away.

I hear his laughter from behind me as he sits up.

"Is nothing coming to mind for lyrics?"

I shake my head and let out a sigh.

"Hmm," he hums, "could you use one of your songs from your own
songbook and just put a twist on it? It would save you a lot of time and
effort."

I shake my head. Those are my personal songs. Not songs for a bunch of
teenagers to sing at a concert where no one will understand the depth of the
lyrics.

"Oh come on Sunshine, why not? I'm sure people would love to hear them."

"Would you play your personal songs for an audience full of strangers?"

"Isn't that sort of what being a songwriter is all about?" West challenges.

Not when the songs are about things you don't want people to know.

"Don't answer my question with a question. That's avoidance 101."

I choose to sign instead.

West chuckles. It's amazing how far he has come with ASL in just a couple
of months. He's nearly at Toby's level.

"Okay. Fair enough. I guess I wouldn't want the whole school to hear some
of my songs, either. Hell, I didn't even like to play back in juvie when the
others could hear. Some of them didn't appreciate music and loved to poke
fun if they heard me playing in my cell."

I tilt my head,
"How often did you play?"

"Whenever I got the chance."

"You made it sound like you weren't much of a guitar player when I first
found out you had one."

West eyes me. "Music is personal, Sunshine. And, just like you did, I had to
decide whether or not I could share it with you."

"What did you decide?"

He smirks, "I played you a song, didn't I?"

"One."

He raises a brow.

"I've played two for you."

"That's because I asked a second time."

"I'm asking now."

West breaks out into a small smile and fully sits up, nodding to the open
cushion next to him. I walk over and sit in the empty spot as he adjusts the
guitar in his lap.

"I wrote most of my songs in juvie. I had nothing to do and a lot of time to
think about all of the shit I did and the fact that I couldn't be there for my
mom and Casper, and uh-" he pauses, clearing his throat, "this is another
song that came out of it. It's kind of me singing to myself at a time when I
felt like I was an entirely different person than who I wanted to be."

He starts to play, and like me he gets lost in the chords almost instantly. It
takes him a second or two to feel comfortable with the position of his
hands, but once he does his eyes shut and his body becomes engrossed in
the sound.
"There was a time when I saw you

As someone that I could hold onto.

I wanted to be there for you,

Now we've slowly grown apart.

You had the whole world handed to you.

But you started to change and you threw it away.

For a life that was caught in the shadows

Pulling you away from home

Leaving all you've ever known.

You ran away

And you lost your way.

You ran away

And it's not the same."

My heart tugs painfully as I listen to his lyrics and the emotion in his voice.
He said this was him singing to himself at a time when he became someone
he didn't want to be. But as I listen, I think it's more than that. I think he
wrote it at a time when he didn't know who he was anymore. At a time
when he was lost.

"After all of these things that we've been through Now I feel like I don't even
know you.

You're the shell of a man that I once knew,

Trying to find his way back home.

Hoping that the ache will go.

You ran away

And you lost your way.

You ran away

And it's not the same."

The more he sings, the more I wonder just how much going to juvie
changed him and how hard it was for him to be there.

"My broken hope

And these weary bones.

You've come and you've gone.

Now I'm all alone.

My broken hope,

And these weary bones.

You've come and you've gone.

Now I'm all alone.

You ran away

And you lost your way.

You ran away

And it's not the same."

Once he finishes the song, he lets out a long breath and swallows the lump
in his throat.
"I haven't played that one in a while," he admits quietly.

"It was beautiful."

He sighs and keeps his gaze steady on his guitar.

"I wrote it when I finally looked around and saw where my dumb choices
made me end up. I didn't land in there for the right reasons, but all of the
choices I made early in high school were enough for me to not be surprised
that I ended up there at all."

He pauses and looks over at me with shining eyes from the tears that
threaten them.

"It was hard, Sunshine. I hated that I ended up there and by the time I got
out, I made the decision never to jeopardize my future like that again. For
my sake, for Casper's sake, and for my mom's sake...I can't go back."

And, as I lean forward to hug West and comfort him the same way he's
comforted me, I recall my earlier thoughts about his arms being a false
sense of security. But as I hug him now, I realize how ridiculous that
thought is. West is no illusion. He's real; the way he makes me feel is real.

I want to ask him more; ask him about what 'wrong reason' he got sent to
juvie for. But, when we pull apart, he nods over to my piano and says he has
an idea for some lyrics if I could play the few notes I came up with earlier. I
sit down and play the first few notes I have, and West quickly slides into the
seat next to me, his arm brushing against mine.

We slowly begin to come up with a song for the showcase, getting nearly
halfway done in the matter of an hour. As we finish, I make some final edits
in my songbook with the pencil I kept stashed behind my ear during our
session.

West, however, keeps me distracted as he hits one of the keys on the piano
repetitively.

"Do you want to not do that?

" I suggest, placing my hand over his to get him to stop.

"If you wanted to hold my hand, Sunshine, you could have just asked."

I roll my eyes at his cocky response and go to take my hand away, but West
shocks me by quickly reaching out and taking it in his before I can let it rest
back by my side. He does it so smoothly that I barely remember even
attempting to remove my hand, but I'm still not able to hold back my blush.

I shyly look at him and catch his unwavering eyes that are stuck to me. My
heart thuds faster when his face slowly moves closer and my mouth goes
dry. However, when West's eyes flit down to my lips, a cold shutter goes
down my spine and I flinch, turning my head and looking fully away.

West sits back into his own personal space when I look away, suddenly
spooked by our close proximity, and I hate that he had to. I hate that I had
that reaction. But he never let go of my hand, and I never felt the need to
pull mine away.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks suddenly.

I look at him through wide, questioning eyes as I nod for him to go ahead.

"How come you decided to come to the party?"

My jaw clenches for a second from the shock of the question and I divert
my gaze to the hardwood floors. The party is in two days and I've been
trying to keep it out of my mind. But I guess there's no running away from
it.

I see our held hands from the corner of my eye and let out a silent sigh as I
regretfully pull mine away to sign my response.

"I need to face my fears."

West narrows his eyes as he pries further. "Parties scare you?"

I meet his gaze, my own unwavering as I sign my response.

"The people at them."

He doesn't miss a beat. "Who are you referring to?"

I back off and avoid his gaze.

"Whom, actually. Don't you listen in English?"

But he doesn't allow me to dodge his question and forces me to catch his
eye.

"Avoidance 101."

I sigh deeply and shut my eyes for a moment or two before responding.

"Let's just say I didn't lose my voice for no reason."

I sign it before I can fully comprehend the consequences of alluding so

closely to the fact that it wasn't just some thing

that happened, but rather some

one

. I should have just chosen to say

'just all of the drunk idiots running around.'

West is silent in response. He seems to be analyzing what I said but I can't

tell what he's thinking. He's keeping his emotions guarded in his expression,
so I can only guess what's going through his mind.

Seconds later there's a knock at the front door, so I stand up to see who it is.
But before I get more than two steps, West stops me.

"Raine."

I stop walking and turn around to face West as he stands up and takes the
few steps towards me.
"You don't have to go to this party," he says cautiously.

"I know that. But it's like I told you, I need to face my fears."

West frowns at my response. "I don't want you to be afraid."

And for some reason, instead of taking this opportunity he presented to

back out, I keep my gaze locked on his until he has to look away to read my
ASL.

"I won't be if you're there."

Then, before West is able to respond, the front door suddenly opens and
another voice answers the silence.

"Oh sweet it was already unlocked! Raine, I told you I would get you this
DVD and I did not disappoint-"

Tyler cuts himself off when he walks into the living room. He had walked
into the room with his hands behind his back and a boyish grin on his lips,
but it drops quickly when he sees West and how close the two of us are
standing to one another.

"Oh...hey West," he says with his jaw tight, forcing his voice to come out
civil instead of laced with annoyance as though I can't tell.

"I was just bringing Raine a new copy of Mockingjay since her old DVD
broke for us to watch. I didn't realize you would be over."

I risk a glance at West who only allows his eyes to narrow for a split second
before he masks it and gives Tyler a cool smile.

"Well, I heard this movie was a blast but never got around to seeing it. So,
pop it in Ty. Let's watch."

Tyler glares at West behind my back, but as soon as I turn around to smile at
him he drops the glare and smiles goofily back. And that's how I somehow
spend the next two hours and five minutes sitting between Tyler and West.
Talk about an awkward situation.
The whole time, I can't get my conversation with West out of my mind. I
question myself on if I gave too much away. West didn't ask any further
questions, but was that because he already knows the answers? I risk a
quick glance at him and see him focusing on the movie in front of us and I
shake that thought from my head.

No. He doesn't know. I didn't give

that

much away- all I said was I lost my voice at a party. For all he knows, some
drunk idiot accidentally hit me with a beer bottle that cut my vocal chords
and that's why the people at parties scare me. And the odds of him guessing
some reason like that are about as good, if not better, than he odds of him
guessing what actually happened to me from the little information I gave
him.

So, I force myself to relax and enjoy the rest of the movie.

---

10/29/2020 - I kept the same premise of this chapter, but before it was
nothing but a random filler. I tried to make it into a pivotal chapter to lead
up to the plot points I've alluded to altering, so I once again hope you guys
liked the edits! If you're a RR, you know what chapter is up next hehe. I will
edit as soon as I can, but I think editing the rest of the book is going to be
exceptionally difficult since we are almost at the climax of the book. So bare
with me everyone!
Chapter Twenty Five (Edited
10/31/2020)
10/31/2020 - Happy Halloween :)) Figured I'd give a *spooky* chapter for
a *spooky* day. This chapter is nearly 7k words, so it's a long one. Please
don't hesitate to comment! Attached cover sent in by

Shall_Know_Pain

It's a beautiful and unique cover- I don't think I've ever received any quite
like it! I love that editing the chapters has resulted in more/new people
sending me covers!

TRIGGER WARNING: Please be wary later on in this chapter. Without me

giving anything away... just please note this warning.

---

Today is the day. Friday; the day of the ever dreaded party that I, for some
reason, have decided to attend. Even when given the chance to back out I
made it clear to West and the others that I was going to go. That was easier
to commit to when I still had a few days to prepare myself. But now the day
is here, and I'm still not sure that I'm mentally ready. But then again... I
don't think I'll ever be mentally ready to face the setting that helped create
who I am today.

I walk towards the mirror in my closet and smooth out my dress that Alyse
and I chose for me to wear. Of course, there was the obvious option of
going in high-waisted jeans and a crop top, the typical party outfit, but I
chose against that. Instead, I'm now realizing, I chose something that has
potential to make me stand out...the opposite of my game plan. However, as
the school mute who hasn't been to a party in three years, I suppose I was
bound to stand out anyways.
It's a simple red 'skater' dress that isn't too revealing. I bought it for
homecoming with Kyle, my ex, last year but I ended up breaking up with
him before we ever went. So, better to wear it now than never I guess.

"You still all in on going tonight?" Alyse asks.

I catch her eye through the mirror and let out a small sigh.

"I don't think I'll ever be all in, but the important thing is that I'm also not
completely against the idea. I can't keep hiding from such a normal high
school Friday night, right?"

Alyse frowns and stands from my bed to walk over to me.

"Raine, no one is going to be mad if you need to back out. Frankly, we're all
shocked you're still stuck on going."

"Thanks for the confidence in me."

She chuckles with a small eye roll. "You know what I mean. It's been three
years, why now?"

I look back at myself in the mirror and stare at a girl who has been through
so much in only 16 years of life, and the answer is right there.

"I'm sixteen. I need to start living my life instead of acting like it's over."

Alyse smiles softly. "You sure it doesn't have to do with a certain bad boy
that's going?"

My cheeks flush nearly as red as my dress and I turn to face her.

"I guess West has a part in my decision, too."

I'm not going to be alone tonight, and I know who to trust. It won't happen
again, how could it? I have five great friends that will be there with me the
entire time.

I'm not as naïve as I was. I can't be.

"Knock knock!"

Alyse and I turn towards the doorway just as Toby opens the door and
walks through with his typical party attire on. A flannel and jeans with a
little bit of gel in his hair- guys have it so easy. They could wear sweatpants
and would still look the part.

Alyse, despite the low temperatures, chose to wear a revealing outfit. She
has on a black lace-up crop top that I'm sure will have every single guy
there staring at her boobs, matched with a black skirt that shows her long,
tanned legs. She looks undeniably hot and I catch Toby eyeing her up.

"You know, saying 'knock knock' and then walking in without an answer is
just as bad as walking in without knocking," Alyse says as she crosses her
arms. "You could have walked in when we were still changing."

Toby snorts and quickly pulls his eyes back up to meet hers. "You two have
been up here for nearly an hour. I know it can't take much longer than that
to put on some pants and a crop top."

Then he glances my way and his playful smile melts into a smaller one.

"But you, on the other hand, are wearing a dress."

I quirk a brow,

"Great observation skills."

"You sure you're ready for this?" He asks quietly.

I turn around to face him and nod. "

It's been nearly three years. It's better late than never, right?"

He still seems unconvinced, so I offer a reassuring smile.

"Now tell me I look good.

"
He cracks a small smile and nods, "You do look good. I wish you would
wear a dress that extends all the way to your ankles, but..."

I laugh and shove him slightly, causing him to chuckle and pull me in for a
bear hug. He ruffles my hair a little when we pull apart and smiles gently.

"You look beautiful, sis."

I still scowl at him for messing up my hair, but still sign a small thank you
before stomping back to my mirror to fix my hair. Through the mirror, I
catch Toby staring at Alyse who is sorting through my assortment of
earrings. Without turning around, I see her smirk as she lifts up a pair she
likes.

"Toby, if I turn around am I going to catch you staring where you shouldn't
be with drool leaking out of your mouth?"

He snorts, but I don't miss the way he subtly jumps from being caught and
diverts his gaze. He further proves my theory that no one can truly stare
discreetly and I begin to wonder about the times I apparently never caught
West staring at me.

Alyse turns around to face him as she puts the earrings on and grins.

"Your silence speaks volumes."

Toby smirks, "Don't act like you didn't dress up for me."

"Your confidence is alarming."

"You like it."

She raises a brow and pops her hip out. "Do I?"

"You're blushing."

"No, that's you."

Toby drops his smirk and begins to chuckle, throwing his hands into his
pockets.

"I can never win with you," he says.

She smiles as she walks past him and out the door, "We'll be waiting
downstairs Raine. Take your time."

Toby watches her go with a small smile, quickly following after her.

I stay in my room for a few moments longer. I stare at the mirror as my

mind gets bombarded by every excuse I can think of to not go tonight. I
shove those thoughts away and force myself to take a deep breath. I'll be
okay.

With one final look, I grab my phone and head downstairs. I hear the boys
talking animatedly to one another downstairs as I approach the steps and I
stare down at the group. My eyes instantly land on West with his leather
jacket, somehow not ruined from the rain the day we drove to my mothers
grave, overtop of a dark red flannel. He's nodding along to something my
brother is saying, adding his input to the conversation.

As I start down the stairs, I step on the one second from the top that is
known to be the creakiest of them all and it catches everyone's attention.
The conversation instantly stops as they look up at me, but I keep my eyes
on West. He stops mid-sentence when he sees me with his mouth half open
as I walk down the rest of the steps. When I finally reach the bottom, his
gaped mouth turns into a smile and he meets my gaze.

"Raine," Tyler says, practically running to me, "You look stunning."

I shift my attention to him as he slowly looks up and down my body. I offer

a slightly awkward smile, shivering uncomfortably from his stare when his
eyes linger too long.

"Thank you, Tyler."

"You do look beautiful," Gray comments with a warm smile.

I smile my thanks at him and then drift to West who seems to have gotten
over his daze, and smirk up at him.

"Your turn."

I sign.

He raises a brow and smirks back. "My turn to what?"

"Compliment me, you goof."

He tilts his head, "Did I hear a please?"

"You didn't hear anything. In case you forgot, I can't really talk.

"

West chuckles at me and puts his hands up in surrender. He pauses and

glances at me as I do a little spin for him, grinning when I turn back to face
him.

"Red is definitely your color, Sunshine."

Though his compliment isn't as direct as the other's, it still has me blushing.

"Hey Raine, I got you something," Tyler says, walking off to the side and
nodding for me to follow.

I do so and stand by Tyler as he pulls something from his pocket with a

boyish grin. His back is to West, but the others try to discreetly look at
what's about to be handed to me. However, when his hand opens to reveal a
bright red plastic whistle resting in his palm, my curious smile drops in
seconds.

"Blow it in case anything goes wrong." Tyler jokes, handing it to me.

Suddenly, the whistle is ripped from Tyler's hands from a seething Toby
which causes his grin to drop instantly.
"Too far, Ty." He growls, storming into the kitchen to throw it away. Alyse
frowns and goes after him, ready to calm him down.

"Dude...really?" Gray asks incredulously, smacking Tyler on the back of the

head.

Tyler flinches and then looks at me through guilty eyes, but I avoid his
gaze. Instead, I cautiously eye West to gauge how much of that he saw. If he
saw the whistle and heard Tyler's comment, there's no hiding what
happened to me anymore.

But when I look at him, he's off far enough to the side and seems confused
enough that my worry dissipates. I brush past Tyler, who watches me walk
away and scratches the back of his neck while cursing under his breath, and
go back to West's side.

"What was he handing you?" West asks, glancing at Tyler before he focuses
on me.

I shake my head,

"Just something he thought would be funny."

"Sort of made the whole room tense up," West says carefully.

"Let's just go."

West frowns as I head to the door and wait for everyone else to notice and
get ready to go. As soon as we step outside the winter air hits me full blast.
The scent of a house in the distance burning fresh wood in their fireplace
sweetens the air and I take it all in, preparing myself for the night ahead.

"Sunshine, you okay?" West asks, and I realize that everyone else is already
down the porch stairs and headed for his Jeep, but West stops on the second
step and turns back to face me.

I glance at the others who are now waiting by the Jeep and try to force my
feet to follow, but they're rooted in place. West frowns and quickly bounds
back up the steps and to my side.
"Hey, it's not too late to back out," he says gently.

"I need to do this."

West scans my eyes for a few moments before nodding with a small sigh.
"Okay. I'll be by your side all night, okay? If anyone makes you
uncomfortable, I'll be right there to make them go away."

I let out a shaky breath and smile at him.

"I don't know, you may cramp my style."

West quirks a brow and smirks, "Oh

I'd

cramp your style? Sunshine, something tells me it'd be the other way
around."

I grin.

"You may be right. They may finally see you for the teddy bear you are. It
could really ruin your reputation if they saw that side of you."

West chuckles, "That side is reserved for you."

We walk towards the Jeep together, my previous nerves slowly fading

enough to grant me the courage to make it to the car and to the party. West
sends me a wink right before we reach the others who are shivering where
they stand as they wait for West to unlock the Jeep.

"Finally! I hate to break up your flirting but could you

please

unlock the damn car doors!" Alyse complains as she jogs in place to try and
keep warm.

"You could have just worn more clothes," Toby chirps.

Alyse sends him a look, "Is that

really

what you would have wanted me to do?"

Toby's cheeks lightly flush red as he scratches his neck. West chuckles and
finally unlocks the car doors so that everyone can pile in, and comes to my
side to yank the door open for me. After Gray, Toby, and Alyse cram in,
Tyler throws his hands in the air with a huff.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" Tyler asks, seeing that all the seats are taken.

We all turn towards him and cock our heads.

"Oh yeah...forgot we had an extra person coming tonight," Toby says.

"Just squeeze in," West says as he starts the car and cranks the heat.

"Whatever you do, do it quick so we can shut the door," Alyse says with her
teeth nearly chattering from the frigid air.

I turn around and catch Alyse's eye, and I start to smirk.

"Alyse, just sit on Toby's lap so that way you all fit."

Her eyes widen and she shoots me a look, but Toby just smirks and pats his
lap.

"Come on Alyse, I don't bite."

She shoots me another look before crawling onto his lap, pulling her skirt
down as far as it can go. Tyler crams in and shuts the door and then we
drive off.

We get to the address of the party just ten minutes later, and we all pour
from the cologne encased car. As I step onto the beautifully cut yard, I
freeze in place and stare at the shaking mansion. Music blasts outside from
any crevice it can, and hundreds of teenagers stand throughout the property.
"Raine, you sure you're ready?" Toby asks, appearing next to me.

I'm able to tear my gaze from the house and to my brother, ready to tell him
to take me home, but something else catches my attention in the transition.
The others are all walking into the party, but West is standing patiently off
to the side, waiting for me before he goes inside.

I take a deep breath and nod.

"I'm ready."

As Toby nods and heads for the door, West makes his way over to me. Even
from here I can feel my chest vibrating with the music and my nerves
skyrocket, but before my legs get rooted to their place and more panic
settles in, West takes my hand in his. He interlocks our fingers and gives my
hand a small, reassuring squeeze with a crooked smile to go with it. With
newfound confidence, I follow the others inside.

"Welcome to the party," Toby says as we all step through the doorway.

He turns around to gauge my reaction, but I'm too busy taking it all in to
notice. I swear it seems like the entire school is here. Everyone is either
wandering around, on the makeshift dance floor, or playing some version of
a drinking game. Aside from the sheer amount of people...it's not too
intimidating.

Tyler, after taking one more look at me, disappears into the crowd of people
and is soon out of sight. Gray follows, but the others stay by my side.

"What's going through your mind?" Alyse asks, having to both lean in and
yell in order for me to hear her over the music. The speaker must be near
the door.

I meet her worried gaze and shake my head, having to pull my hand from
West's to respond.

"What do you guys do at these things?"

Toby chuckles and drapes his arm around my shoulders. "Drink. Dance.
Play. The night is yours to decide."

Alyse rolls her eyes and shoves him off of me, "I prefer the games. You
don't have to drink if you want to play, but they make the time go faster and
they're a lot of fun."

"Alyse is pretty badass at Pong," Toby admits, "they have a table set up in
the next room. Do you want to play, Raine?"

"I could use a partner," Alyse grins.

I slowly nod as I continue to look around, shuffling closer to West's side as

a drunk sophomore runs past and nearly spills his drink all over me. He
bumps me rather hard and I start to tumble until West steadies me and
wraps his arm protectively around my waist.

Alyse instantly notices and quirks a brow as she slowly starts to smirk,
grabbing Toby's arm to pull him away.

"Why don't you and West get settled into the party first, Raine? You can
come find me in a little bit to play some pong,. I'll warm up the table for
us." She says slyly, pulling Toby away as she once again eyes West's arm
around my waist.

As I watch them go, West suddenly leans down so that his lips are only
inches from my ear. I feel his minty breath fan across my skin as he talks,
and it causes a shiver to threaten my body.

"Come on, I know where we can stand so that it's not so crowded."

He leads me through the party, easily maneuvering through our drunken

classmates. I feel a lot of eyes on me and I try to ignore them, but I clearly
stood out more than I intended to. Part of the reason West and I were able to
get through the crowd so easily was simply because people stopped what
they were doing to stare at me- utterly shocked that I'm here.
Once West and I get out of the main crowd, I see where he is walking and I
let out a small breath of relief. He leads us to the wall of the almost empty
hallway looking into the congested living room.

"And we're through safely," he jokes, his arm sliding out from around my
waist so that he can lean on the wall and face me. "How are you feeling?"

I follow his lead and lean against the wall.

"So far so good, actually."

He smiles, "Good."

As I stare around at everyone in the main room, jumping to some song

blasting on the speakers, I note that nearly every person here has a drink in
their hand. It seems that West and I are the only two without one.

I look up at him.

"What do you do at parties if you don't drink?"

He shrugs, "This."

"What is this?"

"People watching, Sunshine."

"Doesn't it get boring?

"

He glances down at me and smiles slightly. "That's what people seem to

think. But I enjoy watching everyone. I see everything that goes on at these
parties."

I furrow my brows in confusion and he looks back at the hundreds of

teenagers dancing in the room ahead.
"Like look over there," he says, nodding towards a couple talking with one
another.

I follow his line of sight towards the couple, and I watch them for a few
moments. I don't see anything unusual and I glance back at West
confusedly.

"Just keep watching."

I sigh and do as I'm told, and I soon notice the guy not having a single sip
of his beer while his date downs hers. He simply holds the can in his hand
while they talk, and every time she turns around or looks away he pours a
little of the can into the plant next to them.

"Wait, isn't that Scott Cannon? He's, like, known for drinking."

I sign.

West smirks down at me. "I've never once seen him drink beer at a party
before."

My mouth drops open,

"Really?

"

He nods, "Really. It just goes to show that rumors can be the opposite of the
truth. Rumors are only what people want to believe."

I frown and think about just how true his statement is. The rumors that
swirled around me and Warren were tough to hear, and the rumors that have
circulated through the whole school about West have to be hard for him.

"If only they knew you're a Teddy Bear. Imagine what that would do to the
rumors about you."

West laughs, "Well, that may make them a little nicer. But anyways, Alyse
over there seems to be waving you over. You want to go play some beer
pong?"

I follow his line of sight and see Alyse over by the front door waving at us.
When she catches my eye she gestures for me to come and imitates
throwing a ping pong ball with question in her eyes.

"I don't have to drink, right?"

I ask West.

"If you don't want to, I won't let anyone make you."

Well, I may as well have a good time while I'm here.

We head back through the crowd and over to Alyse who quickly explains
the rules of the game to me. I already knew them for the most part after
hearing stories from the guys about how they 'ruled the table.' These cups,
however, are filled with water to help save on beer. Instead of chugging the
cup someone makes, the rules tonight are just to take a sip of whatever you
have in your hand. In my case, that's the water that Toby went to the kitchen
to grab for me.

Whether it be because I'm not getting drunk while playing or just that I'm
naturally gifted at throwing a ping pong ball into a red solo cup across the
table, Alyse and I end up ruling the table for the next four rounds. We first
take on Gray and Toby but after we beat them other students try to take us
on. West watches from the side the whole time, cheering Alyse and I on,
and I actually forget about my fear of parties while I play.

That is, until Kyle comes up and challenges us next.

"Raine?" He asks, smiling widely at me when he walks up. "I heard you
were ruling the table but had to come see it for myself! I haven't seen you at
a party since, like, freshman year."

I smile awkwardly and nod, noticing West push off of the wall and walk the
few steps to be by my side.
"So, I hear you're a natural at pong," Kyle says to me, slurring his words
from how much he's had to drink. He reeks of beer.

"She's been kicking ass!" Alyse shouts excitedly next to me.

Though we have been winning, she's still been drinking her Seltzers as
though we've lost every shot so she's a little drunk. At least her seltzer's
don't reek of the beer stench that's blowing off of Kyle every time he opens
his mouth.

"You've got to tell me your secret!" Kyle says.

I lift my cup,

"Water."

Kyle blinks at me and I remember that he can't understand since he never

took the time to learn ASL in our relationship. I had to type everything on
my phone while we dated, and that's ultimately why it didn't work.

"She's drinking water," West interprets gruffly, crossing his arms as he eyes
Kyle up.

"Oh, come on Raine that's cheating!" Kyle laughs, "Let me go get you a
beer and we'll see if you keep winning."

"Oh, no that's okay."

I sign while shaking my head.

"What do you want?" Kyle drunkenly asks, "We've got all the good stuff."

I shake my head a little more for him to get the message, but he ignores it.

"Here just come with me and you can choose," he says, going to grab my
arm, but West steps in front of me before he can.

"She said no."

Kyle puts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay just wanted to make sure
she's having a good time."

"She

was

," West says lowly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kyle's face drops and he gulps, peeking behind West to look at me.

"Are you?"

"I am, but I really don't want to drink."

West tilts his head to look at me so that he can read my hands, but Kyle
speaks up first.

He stares at my hands and then smirks, "Either I suck at sign language, or

you just requested that we dance."

"You suck at sign language. Back off man."

Kyle gulps again as he looks at West before turning and walking away with
his metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

I grimace and nod, watching as he stumbles away.

"Thanks."

I say, looking at West.

"I told you I would make anyone back off if you seemed uncomfortable."

Alyse suddenly starts laughing from next to us. "Ohhh man, did you guys
see the look on his face? West, I think he thought you were gonna punch
him right there!"

Her laughter soon turns into hiccups, but it still doesn't stop her snickering.
"Imagine, Kyle really thought he could make a move on your girl!" She
continues, causing me to blush profusely at her reference to me as West's
girl.

"You good, Alyse?" West asks when she stumbles into the table, reaching
out to steady herself and her drink.

"I-" hiccup "-I'm gonna go find Toby, see if he wants to dance!" She
stumbles away from the pong table and into the crowded dance room, and I
watch as she goes.

I chuckle and go to take another sip of my water, only to see that it's now
empty.

"Want to go get some more, Sunshine? I'm getting kind of thirty myself," he
says, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

I smile gratefully and start to walk with him, close enough that our arms are
touching so I can continue to revel in the safety West has provided me with
tonight. But just as we enter the kitchen, I see Gray walking swiftly towards
us.

"Raine, West! I haven't seen you two all night." He says, blocking the
entrance. I eye him suspiciously, watching as he fidgets slightly.

"You played her in pong like a half hour ago..." West says, raising a brow.

"Oh yeah! I guess I tried to forget, you know, being beaten by a newbie and
all." Gray says, laughing awkwardly.

"Yeah..." West trails off, looking at him oddly. "Well we both need some
water so if you'd excuse us-"

"Actually, there are two people kinda getting it on on the kitchen table, I
don't think you want to go in there." He says quickly, and from the way he
scratches the back of his head I know he's lying.

"Gray?"
I sign as best I can with my only free hand.

"What are you hiding?"

I ask, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

He stares at me for a few seconds and then sighs, "Fine, West you go ahead
in and see what you want, but I'm going to have to be a good friend and
keep Raine away." He says, moving out of West's way and walking directly
to me. "She's too young for that sight."

West glances at him as if he's grown three heads and then at me and shakes
his head. "Alright... Water or soda, Sunshine?"

"Water works, thank you."

West takes my cup for me and heads to the kitchen, and Gray waits for him
to go before he looks back at me.

"Want to tell me what that was about?"

He lets out a puff of air, "Warren was in there."

My blood runs cold and I tense. Any fear that had previously vanished
comes back full force and my heart starts to pound harder against my chest.
Playing pong with Alyse helped get my mind off of the entire reason I've
avoided parties in the first place, and I hadn't even thought of Warren until
now.

"I don't think he's seen you yet tonight, and I didn't want him to. Nor did I
want you to see him."

I swallow nervously and nod slowly, looking down at my hands.

"Good news is that what I said wasn't a complete lie. Dylan from our
calculus class actually was getting it on with some girl from a few towns
over." Gray says in attempt to lighten the mood.
"Good, maybe then West won't interrogate me when he comes back."

"Oh yeah, how is it going with him? He hasn't left your side all night."

A smile appears on my lips uncontrollably and I shrug,

"Who knew coming to a party would be so fun?"

"It can be when you're with the right person."

I narrow my eyes at him.

"You're a little drunk, aren't you?"

He grins, "It wouldn't be a party if I wasn't."

"West doesn't have to get drunk and he's still having a good time.

" I point out.

"Because he's with you. I've seen him at other parties and he's always just
the brooding man in the corner." He says, winking at some girl that walks
by.

I bite my lip to keep from smiling at that confession, but he notices.

Gray smiles and tilts his head. "You really like this guy, don't you?"

I shrug sheepishly and don't reply, but that's enough of an answer for him.

"Well all I can say is he had better not screw up. Or else he's got me and
your brother to watch out for." Gray says, causing me to laugh lightly. He
glances over at the party and sighs. "Here comes Ty. I think he owes you an
apology for the stunt he pulled back at the house, so I'll leave you two
alone."

He sends me another small smile before he walks away.

"Hey, Raine." Tyler begins, looking down at the ground awkwardly. "Look,
I'm sorry I did what I did earlier. It wasn't cool of me, but I honestly didn't
think it was that offensive. I kind of meant it as a 'fuck Warren' type of gift."

I nod and look down, pursing my lips.

"I know you didn't mean it in any rude way, Tyler. But you shouldn't have
done it in the first place."

He sighs and nods, "I know. I'm sorry, Raine."

I offer him a small smile,

"It's okay."

"So we're good?" He asks hopefully.

I smile gently and nod, "

Yeah, we're good. I could never stay mad at you.

"

He smiles back. "Awesome. And I didn't just come over here to apologize; I
was wondering if you wanted to dance?"

Thankfully, before I have to come up with an excuse, some guy that I

played against earlier comes over.

"Yo Ty! I need a partner in pong now that Alyse and Raine finally left the
table. They were impossible to beat...You in?"

Tyler eyes me for a few more seconds, waiting for an answer to the dance
proposal, but when I make no move to give him one, he frowns and turns
away.

"Yeah man, who are we playing?"

And with that, he and the guy start walking away and back towards the
dining room where the pong table is. I stay where I am and look out at the
dancing crowd, suddenly feeling uncomfortable being all alone. I'm still
getting a lot of stares from my classmates who apparently think I'm blind,
not mute, with how obvious their glances are. I sigh and look around,
deciding to go and find a room that's not so crowded to wait for West. Plus,
if Warren is in the kitchen, then standing just outside of it probably isn't the
smartest idea ever.

I wander back down the hallway where West and I stood at the beginning of
the night, eyeing random pictures on the wall. I come upon an office with
French doors leading into it. No one else is in here, so it could be a good
place to gather my thoughts and wait for West who is taking a surprisingly
long time to get us some water. I walk inside of the office, looking around
at the bookshelves along the walls filled with trophies and books.

However, suddenly I hear the door shut and I spin around.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Warren.

How is his timing so impeccable?

My entire body seems to shut down and my heart drops. My breath gets
caught in my throat, and while I try to remember how to breathe I also
focus on calming my heart rate.

But it's to no avail. The room around me starts to spin from my panic attack,
black spots dotting my vision. I force myself to focus on my breathing as I
meet his icy eyes and bone chilling smirk. Before I can make a run for it
and get the hell out of this room, Warren speaks up and my feet are glued in
place out of fear.

"You may not be as naïve and you may not be nearly as drunk as you were
before, but you still made this way too easy." Warren says, finally lunging
forward and pinning me against the wall.
A scream burns in my throat, but before I can let it out his grimy hand
covers my mouth. I fidget in his grasp and try to shove him off of me, but
his other arm holds my wrists above my head and his body keeps me firmly
and painfully against the wall.

"Now I'm going to move my hand, and when I do you had better not
scream." He growls into my ear, and I can feel his erection growing with
every second that passes.

I am not letting this happen to me again.

I narrow my eyes and bite down on his hand. Hard.

I'm not going to make this as easy for him as it was last time.

His eyes widen and he yanks it back with a angered yelp, blood pooling
around my teeth marks. I shove him away and make a break for the door,
but Warren isn't fazed for long and grabs me again, throwing me back
against the wall. I cry out from the force of my head banging against the
wall, putting me in a sudden daze.

However, when Warren presses himself against me, the daze is gone and I
fight against him again.

"Quit struggling!" He sneers.

I'm able to shake one of my pinned hands loose and without hesitation I rear
back and slap him, causing his head to snap to the side. But I didn't do it
with enough force to have him let me go. Instead, he whirls his head back to
me with fire in his eyes and seconds later a searing pain takes over half of
my face and my entire head whips to the side. I whimper from the stinging
pain that flows throughout my cheek.

Warren harshly grabs my throbbing face in his tight grasp and forces me to
look at him.

"Now stop struggling," he growls, throwing my head to the side.

He lets go of my hands, but I don't have it in me to use them as my defense.
I'm too terrified. It's like my body has locked down and all I can do is cry.
He forcefully rips the top of my dress with strength I didn't know he had,
and I shut my eyes tight as I await what's to come. Tears build beneath my
eyelids and somehow find room to pour out.

I can't believe this is happening again. West said he wouldn't let me out of
his sight. He said nothing would happen to me. Toby said I would be okay. I
thought I would be okay.

I thought lightning never struck in the same place twice.

But, before Warren can fully rip the dress off of me, the office doors
suddenly barge open again with such force they smack against the walls.

"Get the fuck off of her!"

My eyes snap open at the sound of West's voice, and suddenly Warren is
ripped away from me and thrown against the desk in the corner of the room.
West's eyes are ablaze with fire; rage dripping from his expression as he
grabs Warren by the scruff of his shirt and keeps him pinned over the desk.

"I told you to stay away from her!" West booms.

I cower further into the wall from the fury in his voice.

But Warren struggles against him, breathing heavily as he grinds his teeth.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have left her alone," Warren spits.

West cocks his arm back, ready to throw a punch across Warren's jaw. But
before he can, Warren instantly speaks up.

"I don't give a damn what you know; you punch me and you're going back
to juvie and everyone will know why you went in the first place!"

West falters. His arm slowly drops, still ready to throw a punch if needed,
but his movements are now more hesitant.
My eyes widen. Warren didn't say much, but he said enough to make my
blood run cold. West can't go back. He's made it clear how much being sent
to juvie affected him. And what does he mean- what does West know?

Warren keeps going.

"That's what I thought," he says, slowly beginning to smirk. "Now get out
of here so I can finish what I started."

As though he never even lowered his fist in the first place, West suddenly
throws caution to the wind, lifts his arm back up, and his fist goes flying
forward.

But my blood runs cold and my heart stops. If West punches him, Warren
will find a way to send him back to juvie. His dad is one of the top lawyers
in Chicago and I know that all Warren has to do is say the word and West
will be back in the one place he's told me he never wants to return to. I'm
nowhere near close enough to grab West's arm and prevent him from
making a decision that will change his life forever.

His song from the other day begins playing in my mind as I watch West's
fist fly towards Warren's jaw with enough momentum to break it. The pain
in his voice as he sang is clear in my mind, and the message behind it even
more so. He said he can't go back. He nearly broke down just thinking
about it. He has to be here for Casper. For his mom. For his future.

He can't risk it just because of me. I can't let him. I have to stop him.

With a racing heart, I gather up everything within me to yell out and prevent
what I know can't happen.

"West!"

Everything in the room stops. West's fists comes to a sudden halt just before
making contact with Warren's face. I stop breathing. Time stops ticking.
West and Warren turn their heads towards me, mouths slightly parted and
eyes wide with shock. I stare at them with the same look; stunned beyond
belief that I just yelled out West's name.
"Did she just..." Warren trails off.

At that exact moment, Alyse frantically barges into the office. When she
sees me cowering in the corner with my dress torn and Warren pinned
against the desk by West, she quickly calls loudly for the others.

"They're in here!"

Toby, Gray, and Tyler come running into the room just seconds later in a
frenzy. They pause in the doorway and take in the scene in front of them.
West is the first to register that they're here and lets go of Warren to run
over to me. The fire in his eyes is still there, only now it's nearly masked by
utter shock and concern.

The others take his place with Warren. He was too dismayed to move before
they got to him, and Toby keeps him pinned against the desk.

When West reaches me and I meet his gaze, we both stare at one another
silently. We are both trying to comprehend that everything that we just
witnessed actually happened.

But when he reaches out to gently touch my arm, I break down. I collapse
into his arms, suddenly too weak to hold myself up. I begin sobbing nearly
uncontrollably and West's arms instantly wind around me, providing me
with all of the comfort I desperately need.

It almost happened again. Warren was only moments away from repeating
my biggest nightmare and I yet again was too weak to stop him.

I take in a bunch of deep breaths and keep gulping air down as my body
violently shakes with sobs and fear and relief. I can hear the hits and blows
Warren is receiving from my brother, and each hit makes me cling to West a
little tighter. Memories are appearing behind my closed eyes, so I fight to
keep them open and the flashbacks away.

I take in more ragged breaths as a futile attempt to calm my heart rate, but I
can't seem to stop my heart from pounding painfully against my chest or the
deep headache that has risen from my hurtful sobs. It doesn't help that I can
hear Warren groaning from every blow to his face from my brothers
vengeful hands.

"It's okay, Sunshine," West soothes as calmly as he can. "I'm right here. I've
got you."

I can feel his racing heart as I cling to him. I can only imagine how he feels
right now after everything that just happened. I swallow deeply and pull
away just enough to shakily sign something to West.

"Please take me home."

I don't know how I was able to talk. I don't know how I was able to yell out
his name. But that same fierce determination to save him has drifted away
with the threat of Warren, taking my ability to talk with it.

West instantly nods. Keeping me tucked into his side, we begin to walk out
of the room. He blocks me from seeing the beating Warren is taking from
my brother. West takes us through the party and to the front door, keeping
me as close and as shielded as possible so no one can see me completely
breaking down or my ripped dress. Flashbacks still pound through me and
they only result in making me feel even more violated than moments
before.

As we leave the house, a flashback hits me with the same force as the
winter air and I'm too emotionally weak to fight it down. So I cling to West
tighter than before and let it take me over, praying to god it doesn't last
long.

I whimper loudly as Warren completely rips my bra off of me, the straps
snapping on my skin as the throngs that held it together give way. I can feel
them dig into my skin as they break apart, creating an open wound soon
turning wet with blood. I arch my back from the pain and groan, clenching
my eyes tight.

I keep my eyes closed and bite my lip to the point that it bleeds as I feel
Warren's slimy lips trail down my neck and to my newly exposed skin. I
whimper again as his mouth encases me and start to kick and struggle,
attempting my very hardest to lift my arms from where he has them pinned
against my sides.

His response is to grip my wrists tighter, cutting off my circulation and

making me cringe deeply.

"Get off of me Warren!" I yell shakily, continuing to struggle against him.

"Shut up." He growls, lifting his hand long enough send a quick and painful
slap across my face.

I snap back into the present with an audible sob and West tenses. The
searing ache of Warren's hand across my face doesn't fade with the
flashback, nor does the throbbing pain of my wrists.

Because it all happened again.

"It's okay, Sunshine. I'm here." West whispers against my hair, attempting to
calm me down as he caresses the back of my head. The gentle tone of his
voice is able to keep back another unwanted memory and I let out a small
sigh of relief.

I jump slightly when I hear my brothers frantic voice and I look over to see
him running towards West and I.

"Raine!" He yells, practically pulling me from West's arms and into his
own.

I don't protest to the change but I don't melt into my brother's arms as I had
West's.

"I'm so sorry, Raine." Toby mutters into my hair, his arms shaking around
me.

I hear the Jeep unlock and next thing I know I'm being lifted inside, still
tucked into Toby's side. West starts the car and we begin to drive away, and
I let out a deep, shattered breath.

Why did this have to happen to me again?

I curl further into Toby as another wave of tears comes and his arms tighten
around me. I try to remind myself that it

didn't

happen again. West was there to stop him this time before Warren could go
through with his threat. West risked being sent to juvie to protect me from
Warren, and the fear of knowing he really could be sent back somehow
gave me the strength to yell out his name.

West was there.

And I spoke for the first time in 3 years.

---

10/31/2020 - Yes. That just happened. As always, please let me know what
you think! For the RR's, I'm sure you were beyond shocked at the change I
made in this chapter... I really want to know your opinions on it!
Chapter Twenty Six (Edited
11/3/2020)
What's everyone's favorite food?

11/3/2020 - I made A LOT of edits to this chapter. I really had to fine tune it
and ensure I wasn't giving too much away by keeping West's POV. It was
not an easy task, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Also, happy election day :) I
hope everyone who was able to vote, did go vote!

Attached: West's Jeep. A black, 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee as described in

previous chapters! Thoughts? I personally think it fits his character well :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Six

West's POV ;)

The whole ride back to their house, Raine stays tucked protectively into
Toby's side in my backseat. Other than the occasional sob from Raine
breaking my heart in two and the hum of the road, the car ride is silent.

I glance at her through the rear view mirror as another sob escapes her and
she clings to Toby like her life depends on it. My hands instantly clutch the
steering wheel and my knuckles turn white as I try to find some sort of
relief from the anger and guilt I feel.

Shaking away my thoughts the best I can, I pull into their driveway as the
clock on the dashboard changes to 1:45 AM. I quickly shut off the Jeep,
ready to run to Raine's side and carry her inside. But instead, Toby gently
cradles her in his arms as she continues to shake with her face buried into
his shoulder.

I don't know if she's shaking from fear or from the winter air, but in an
attempt to at least eliminate one factor, I quickly take off my leather jacket
and drape it over her. Toby eyes me as I do so, and for a few moments
Raine's sobs stop as she registers what was placed on her to shield her from
the cold, and hopefully from the images I know she's seeing behind her
closed eyes.

Toby nods his thanks to me before he heads up the sidewalk to go inside. As

I watch him walk away with Raine, I can't help but follow after him. I don't
want her to be alone. I help him open the door, but when I try to go inside
as well, he shakes his head. With a heavy heart, I respect his decision and
back off to head back towards the others standing around my Jeep.

Alyse has tear stains along her cheeks, cutting into her foundation and
taking with it a mix of mascara and eyeliner. Gray and Tyler are just as
distraught, both with their heads hung low as they regretfully look at the
house. Everyone is silent. As I stare at each of them, gauging their guilty
and saddened reactions to where the night led us, my anger comes roaring
back. My hands ball into fists, so tightly clenched it's painful.

I wanted to pound Warren into the ground. I wanted to knock that smirk
right off of his thin lips and beat him so hard his own mother wouldn't
recognize him. I was ready. But I didn't get the chance.

With a frustrated grunt, I turn and throw my fist into the passenger door of
my Jeep. The sound of my skin denting the rusted metal echoes throughout
the quiet night. I stand there heaving, my breaths visible to the naked eye as
I quickly breathe in and out through flared nostrils.

The others jump from my sudden burst of rage and Gray is quick to walk
over to me.

"West, calm down man," he says, reaching out a friendly hand to rest on my
shoulder.

But I shake his hand off and spin around to face the three of them with a
throbbing fist.

Alyse frowns deeply as she glances down at my hand. "West...you're

bleeding."
I hastily lift my hand and see the skin on my knuckles split in two with
blood beginning to pool around the wound. I clench and unclench my jaw
as I stare at my bleeding fist, regretting that the blood came from punching
my Jeep instead of Warren's face.

"Do you want me to go get some gauze or-" Alyse starts cautiously, but I
cut her off.

"I should never have left her alone!" I exclaim angrily.

I shouldn't have let Gray separate us. I should have just waited outside of
the kitchen with her until the two idiots making out decided to move from
the kitchen table to the bedroom. I shouldn't have left her side like I
promised myself I wouldn't do.

I swing my fist towards my Jeep again as the frustration builds in my head

but hesitate before making contact. I stare blankly in front of me as tears
threaten to push their way through my weak barrier. All I can picture is
running into that room and seeing Warren over top of Raine, ripping her
dress and pressing himself on her. The terror in her eyes...

I clench and unclench my fists and lift them into my hair, tugging painfully
through it as I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Hey, this isn't your fault." Gray says, again resting a friendly hand on my
shoulder to help calm me down.

"He's right, West. Don't blame yourself, please," Alyse adds.

"You never left her alone. You left her with me," Gray reasons.

Though my breathing is still heavy, I'm able to open my eyes and face both
of them as I slowly nod.

"Then what happened?" I ask.

"He left her with me," Tyler speaks for the first time since we left the party.
We all snap our heads to him. He's standing off to the side, staring at the
ground with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Ty..." Gray trails off, unable to finish what is insinuated from the saddened
tone of his voice.

"You didn't," Alyse nearly gasps.

But Tyler shakes his head and fumbles around to find something to say.

"I-I wasn't thinking. I asked her t-to dance and she didn't want to, she
seemed like she wanted me to back off! So...so I went to go play pong and-"

"You

left her alone." I finish for him.

Red blurs my vision.

He

left Raine alone. He couldn't wait five minutes for me to finish grabbing
water to play some stupid drinking game. He let Warren get to her.

Tyler meets my furious gaze and his eyes widen as he starts to back up.

"I-I didn't mean to-"

I quickly walk the few steps towards him and shove him hard. I push him so
hard that he flies off of his feet and lands on the grass with a grunt of pain. I
prepare to keep him on the ground and take out the beating that should have
happened on Warren on Tyler instead, but Gray sprints to my side and keeps
me away.

"West, stop. This is no one's fault but Warren's. Don't take your anger out on
Ty."

I shove Gray away from me, "Well I wasn't able to take it out on Warren!"
Alyse, after helping Tyler up, glances at me. "Why not?"

I clench my jaw as I stare at the three of them, debating what to say. Do I

tell them that Raine yelled out and stopped me- something I'm still trying to
comprehend? Do I tell them that Warren could have easily sent me right
back to juvie if I punched him? I shut my eyes for a second and force
myself to calm down and regulate my breathing before I start saying things
they don't need to hear.

"Raine needed me."

I stalk away from them and closer to my Jeep as I run my hand down my
face.

Warren broke our deal. I told him that day in the hallway that if he ever laid
a hand on Raine I would tell everyone what I know about him, but his threat
was right back at me that if I ever messed with him he would tell everyone
what he knew. We came to a sort of truce, but I guess the truce was too
futile when it came down to it.

But even when he threatened me tonight with exposing my reason for being
sent to juvie, hell even when he threatened to send me back, I didn't care.
Seeing Raine crying and helpless...all I wanted to do was hurt Warren. All I
wanted to do was inflict some pain onto him that he and his family have
inflicted onto so many others. I wanted him to suffer.

My mind takes me back to that moment, no matter how hard I try to keep it
out of my thoughts.

Frantically wandering through the makeshift dance floor, my panic starts to

double when I still can't find Raine. She was right outside the kitchen when
I went to get our water and I expected her to be standing there with Gray
when I came back. But she wasn't, and now no one can find her. Not Toby,
not Alyse, and not Gray.

I move from the dancefloor to the vacant hallway she and I had been
standing at earlier, praying she's just on her way to the bathroom.
My heart stops when I hear a painful cry after a loud smack. Every fiber in
me turns red hot as I storm down the empty hall and to the French doors at
the end of it with frosty glass preventing me from seeing inside. Without a
moment of hesitation, I rip the doors open with so much force they slam into
the interior walls.

My heart stops when I take in the sight in front of me.

Sunshine. Pinned against the wall by the rotten mutt himself; Warren. Tears
are streaming down her cheeks no matter how tightly shut her eyes are and
the top of her dress is ripped in two. Rage takes me over. Fury clouds my
thoughts. And a

s Warren reaches up to tear her dress even more, I run across the room and
rip him off of her while yelling for him to get the fuck off of her. I

aggressively throw him into the office table, pinning him there by the scruff
of his shirt before he has the chance to squirm away.

"I told you to stay away from her!"

We had a deal. If he laid one hand on Sunshine, I would expose him for the
demons he and his father are.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have left her alone," Warren says.

Any self restraint I had up until this point disappears from my mind and I
cock my fist.

"I don't give a damn what you know," Warren spits before I can hit him.
"You punch me and you're going back to juvie and everyone will know why
you went in the first place!"

I hesitate. My arm slightly drops and my grip on his collar loosens. I

thought I had the upper-hand on him, thought he would be too scared to
risk someone exposing his family and their sick ways of doing business, but
I guess I misjudged.
I know his father easily has the power to send me back. All Warren has to
do is show the bruises on his face and say I did it, and not long after that
they could easily tie the tire scandal to me. There would be no hope to keep
me out of juvie again.

As my fist lowers more, Warren smirks.

"That's what I thought. Now get out of here so I can finish what I started."

If he really thinks that threatening me with going back to juvie is going to

make me leave the room and let him... I can't even finish the thought. Going
back means nothing if I can prevent anything else from happening to Raine.

Within a split second, my arm is back in position and my fist is flying

towards his face. I don't even see him anymore. All I see is red. It clouds my
vision, clouds my brain, and all I can focus on is drawing blood from this
monster.

But, just before my fist makes contact, I'm stopped. A voice yells out; it's
strained and gravelly from years of being unused, but it's still powerful.
Powerful and absolutely beautiful.

"West!"

My fist stops. My heart stops. My breathing stops. It feels as though time

itself stops. I snap my head towards the source of the voice, almost unable
to believe who it really came from. My gaze lands on Raine. She's staring at
me through wide, terrified, and worried eyes.

I barely register Alyse come running into the room, nor do I fully
comprehend that the guys take over the beating I wish I could have given
Warren. All I can focus on is the sound of Sunshine's voice calling out my
name, resonating throughout my ears.

Her first word in three years...and it was my name.

I snap out of the flashback when the front door opens and Toby steps
outside with a solemn look on his face. We all take a few steps towards him,
waiting for word on how Raine is doing. He scans the four of us until his
eyes land on me and he sighs.

"She asked for you."

I look up at the window to her room and start towards the front door, but
Toby stops me. He reaches out to grab my arm and I meet his troubled gaze.

"West. I know she trusts you and I do too, just...don't hurt her."

"I would never."

Toby stares at me for a few seconds more before he nods and lets go of my
arm.

"I need to call our Dad, let him know what happened."

I nod at him and he goes to Alyse who opens her arms for him to practically
fall into, clutching to her as he finally lets out all of the emotions he
probably hid from Raine.

I waste no more time and run inside and up the steps to be by Raine's side. I
enter her room and see her sitting on her bed, her knees pulled to her chest
with her chin resting atop them. Her eyes are staring blankly ahead of her.
She's no longer wearing her ripped dress. Instead she has on some
sweatpants and a t-shirt with my leather jacket, and seeing her wearing it
warms my heart.

"Hey Sunshine." I say, watching the twitch of a smile on her lips, but it's
gone all too soon and my heart drops.

"That jacket looks lot better on you than it does on me," I say softly as I
walk up to her bedside and sit down on the edge, attempting to lighten the
tension in the room.

Raine lifts her chin off of her knees to look at me and gives me a forced,
tired smile to show that she at least appreciates my attempt. But that's when
my eyes land on the giant red mark on her cheek and the sound of Warren
smacking her echoes in my ears. I gently reach out to cup her face, but the
second I lift my hand towards her, she flinches away and I quickly back off.

My heart cracks at her reaction and I try my hardest to mask it, but I don't
do a great job. She meets my gaze through apologetic eyes and reaches out
her hand to take mine, but when she softly takes it, I notice her eyes widen
shoot down to look at my hand. That's when I remember the dried blood
caked on the cuts on my knuckles from when I punched the Jeep. She lifts
her worried eyes to mine and I smile sheepishly.

"I kind of punched the Jeep..."

She eyes me with a look that I know is saying:

"West..."

I clear my throat and stare down at our hands while choosing my next
words carefully.

"Well, I never got the chance to punch Warren," I say, gauging her reaction
as I allude to the fact she was able to speak for the first time since her
freshman year to stop me.

She swallows hard and looks away, fiddling with the comforter with her
free hand before pulling her hand out of mine.

"I couldn't let you go back to juvie for me."

My expression softens when she hesitantly meets my gaze and I shake my

head.

"It would have been worth it."

Raine smiles slightly at my response, but it doesn't evoke the cute blush I
was partly hoping would appear.

"I don't know how I spoke."

She admits, her smile disappearing into a frown.

"It was just...knowing that he could really have sent you back to juvie
terrified me, because I know that you can't go back. The adrenaline was
pumping and something in me opened up and..."

she stops, shaking her head as she tries to piece together what enabled her
to speak out loud.

"Hey, it's okay. I don't expect you to suddenly tell a whole speech or
anything. We'll take it slow, yeah?"

But she shakes her head and tears form in her eyes again.

"No, you don't understand. Whatever feeling I had, whatever opened up to

let me talk, is gone. The adrenaline faded and now all I can think about, all
I can feel, are his hands on me-"

She stops signing and begins to sob again, making my heart break for the
millionth time tonight. I instantly scoot closer and bring her into my arms,
letting her cry into my shoulder for as long as she needs while trying to
keep back my own tears.

"I'm so sorry, Sunshine," I start, burying my face in the top of her head. "I
never meant to leave you alone. I got the water bottles as soon as I walked
into the kitchen and I was ready to go back to you, but Tammy stopped me
and started talking to me. I tried to get away from her, but she was
relentless. By the time I got away from her and back to you, you weren't
there. I figured you just went to find Toby, so I did the same to find you.
But when I found him...he didn't know where you were either. I got scared.
I searched everywhere to find you. When I finally got to that hallway and
heard you cry out..."

This is my fault.

If only I hadn't left her side.

Raine pulls away from me and shakes her head as she wipes away her tears.

"Tina,"
she corrects me, the tears she wiped away instantly coming back as she
forces a small smile.

I laugh breathlessly through my own tears. "Tammy, Tina, whoever. I

shouldn't have ever left you, Raine."

She reaches out, shocking me, and wipes away the few tears that dripped
down my cheeks. I gently grab her hand and keep it there as I stare
regretfully at her.

"I'm

so

sorry, Sunshine."

We stay like that for a while. Her hand held delicately on my cheek and my
hand on hers, stroking it softly with my thumb. I revel in knowing that she
can trust me like this after what happened to her. After some time, however,
her eyes start to drift shut and I sigh.

"You should get some sleep." I say gently.

She shakes her head and tries to keep her eyes open.

"Are you afraid of what you might dream about?" I suggest, watching as her
eyes shamefully look down before she nods.

Without words I kick my shoes off and climb into the bed with her. I lift the
covers and get in, fully aware of her surprised eyes watching me lay down.

I open my arms, "Come here, I'll keep the nightmares away." I say quietly,
my heart starting to beat faster.

I see the shock in her eyes, but relief masks it and she slowly sinks down
into the covers, resting her head atop my chest rather than her pillow, which
makes me smile lightly. I wrap my arms around her and she places her
hands on my chest, her head tucked under my chin.
"Goodnight, Sunshine." I whisper, rubbing my thumb gently on her
shoulder.

She nods slightly as a response, and just moments later the smooth rhythm
of her breathing tells me she's fallen asleep.

I look down at Raine and smile gently at the sight. Her lips are pursed and
slightly parted, her eyelashes are long and beautiful, and the moonlight
from her window glistens off of them. I lift a hand to brush a stray strand of
hair from her face, laughing quietly at the way her nose scrunches from the
contact.

My smile fades all too quickly when I remember the secrets that could tear
this feeling apart. The things I know...it could turn her trust into hatred if
she finds out. But then again, doesn't she have the right to know? She's
opened up to me so much and I've only just scratched the surface of the
things I need to tell her. I know she's getting suspicious. I'm surprised that
the moments she's witnessed between me and Warren haven't made her ask
me more questions.

After tonight, though, I know the questions I've been dreading are going to
come. I just hope she's ready to hear the answers.

---

11/3/2020 - So, I want to hear some of y'all's theories :) I'm sure that my
RR's are once again shocked at some of the changes made and I know that
all of y'all's minds are swarming with theories! I wonder which of them are
right...hehe
Chapter Twenty Seven (Edited
12/8/2020)
Good news: This story has reached #914 in teen fiction!!! I cannot
begin to express how excited I am!

12/8/2020 - Crazy to see how elated I was back when I reached #914 in
teen fiction! That was back when Wattpad still had a top 1000 stories of
each genre instead of on each hashtag.

I apologize for being MIA for over a month...truth is, on top of college and
finals, I was reading through all of your theories and started to worry that
what I had originally planned wasn't good enough. I realized that I set the
book up for an even bigger plot addition than I thought. It took me this long
to figure out what more was needed, and for someone who is a planner,
trying to decide so late in the story was intimidating and turned me away
from editing for a while. But, I think I figured out a perfect plot for the
remainder of the book :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Seven

Raine POV

I wake up to the booming sound of thunder but keep my eyes closed to

protest waking up. The dull patter of rain hitting my roof pleas for my case
and makes me curl further into my warm, inviting bed. The further I
snuggle into my pillow, however, the more I realize how solid it is. While
it's still somehow soft and warm, something about it is firm and...muscular?

My eyes shoot open as realization dawns on me. I'm not snuggled against a
pillow. I'm snuggled against West. I shoot up in shock, but West doesn't
wake up. The events of last night come tumbling down on my mind as
another roar of thunder nearly shakes the house. The gentle rain outside has
suddenly turned into a torrential downpour, slamming relentlessly onto the
roof and invading my ears so that it's all I can focus on as memories from
last night rush back.

Going to the party. Playing pong with Alyse and laughing with everyone,
genuinely enjoying myself. Kyle pursuing a dance with me. West forcing
him to back off. West taking me to the kitchen for water. Gray stopping me,
Warren is in there.

Warren.

Warren trapping me in the office. Warren pinning me against the wall.

Warren not allowing me to escape when I put up a fight. Warren smacking
me. Warren ripping my dress. Warren being torn away from me and thrown
across the room. West saving me from reliving my worst nightmare.

West.

West pinning Warren against the desk. West seconds away from punching
Warren, from being sent back to juvie. West's name being yelled out...by
me. West stopping. West looking at me, running to me, comforting me.

"Sunshine?"

Somewhere behind the drumming rain and bellowing thunder, I faintly hear
my name being uttered worriedly. But I can't move. I'm stuck reliving last
night behind my eyes.

"Sunshine, it's okay.

"

The voice is a bit louder this time, more concerned, more scared. Another
crack of thunder.

"Raine, hey it's okay, look at me."

It rises above the noise of the storm outside, becoming clearer and slowly
dragging my mind out of the hell it's enduring. But it's still not quite enough
and I'm frozen in place. Suddenly, I feel warmth on my leg, just above my
knee. A hand. It gently squeezes as my name is said a few more times, more
urgently.

My body flinches on its own. I cringe away from the hand on my leg, my
heartrate spiking and not in the good way, and my breathing suddenly
matches. Warren's face is still flashing across my mind despite how hard I
try to pull myself out of my trance. The hand instantly lets go.

"Sunshine, breathe. It's all okay, you're safe. You're home, he can't get you."
The voice repeats.

It starts off panicked and then turns calm as the rain outside begins to ease,
no more cracks of thunder either. Slowly, my racing heart and erratic
breathing calm down and my eyes no longer feel far away. I focus on the
sight in front of me and meet West's worried eyes.

"You're okay, I promise. He can't get to you. You're safe," he continues to

say. "Come back to me, Sunshine. Please."

Blinking a few times, I keep my eyes locked on his and begin to nod and
work on regulating my breathing the best I can. The fear hidden poorly in
West's gaze dissipates when he realizes that I've finally come back to him.

"Are you okay?" He asks, about to reach out and caress my face before
hesitating and placing his hand back by his side, most likely due to my
earlier action of flinching away from his hand on my leg.

I take another deep breath. I've finally calmed down from my panic attack. I
nod at him and he visibly relaxes. Missing the warmth his body provided
through the night and regretting my reaction to his comforting hand on my
knee, I place my hand on top of his. Instantly, he flips his hand over and
gently catches mine, interlacing our fingers. We don't look away from one
another, and my heartrate stays steady when I don't see burning curiosity in
his gaze in regards to last nights events.
I don't know if I'm ready for that confession; for West to find out why none
of our friends were shocked. For him to discover that last night wasn't the
first time something like this has happened to me. I've gotten close with
West and he has come to mean more to me than I ever anticipated, but my
past with Warren is a secret I never planned to tell again.

"What's going on in that brain of yours?"

I focus my attention back on his eyes and recall the words he and Warren
exchanged during their scuffle.

I don't give a damn what you know; you punch me and you're going back to
juvie and everyone will know why you went in the first place!

How does Warren know the reason West went to juvie? Why do they seem
to have some sort of history?

What

does West know? Why am I afraid of finding the answer?

Lightly shaking my head to rid my thoughts, I pull my hand from his to

respond.

"I'm thinking about how hungry I am."

I lie, unable to deal with everything going on in my mind.

Something tells me that questioning West isn't going to bode well. We both
have secrets, there's no doubt, and I fear that our secrets are big enough to
ruin whatever feelings are sparking between us. And the second I question
him is the second he turns it around and questions me.

West doesn't seem fully convinced, slightly narrowing his eyes, but doesn't
say anything about my excuse.

"Alright, lets get you some breakfast."

He gets up from the bed and stretches his arms high above his head,
groaning slightly as a few of his joints pop. He yawns and glances down at
his shirt, eyes zeroing in on one spot before his lips lift into a tiny smirk.

"Did you know that you drool, Sunshine?" He asks, lifting his twinkling
eyes to me.

My face turns violently red when I note the small stain on his chest, right
where I had been laying. I choose to play dumb and shake my head.

"No idea what you're talking about."

West raises a playful brow but doesn't say anything else. We both start to
walk out of my room, but I stop when I catch a glimpse of myself in the
mirror hanging on my closet door. I gasp as I step back into view, horror
written in my expression as I look at the purple bruise planted on my right
cheekbone, just below my eye. I hesitantly lift my hand to it, flinching
when I touch the raw skin.

West stands behind me, watching my movements through guarded eyes. But
it would be impossible not to see the anger he's trying to hide, and I know
it's not directed at me, but rather the one who inflicted this bruise and all of
the trauma I've endured in the last three years.

I drop my hand to my side and clench my jaw as I stare back at myself.

Tears pile up behind my eyes. Why do I always have to be so weak? I
couldn't fend for myself for

one night?

Then my view of myself is gone and West is standing in front of me. He

catches my eye and softly shakes his head.

"Don't do that to yourself, Raine. Last night wasn't your fault."

His voice is so powerful that I find myself believing him, even if only for a
second.

I smile slightly,
"How'd you know what I was thinking?"

"Because I know you better than you think I do."

Something about the way he's looking at me and the tone of his voice
makes me think those words go a lot deeper than just this conversation. And
that scares me. His eyes feel like they are practically looking straight
through me with a clear view of every secret I've kept from him. I feel
incredibly vulnerable under his gaze, and the feeling is both relieving and
terrifying.

I'm the first to drop our stare and when I do, I'm finally able to catch my
breath.

"Lets go get breakfast."

We walk down the steps and into the kitchen where we run into Toby. He
has his back to us as he stands by the coffee maker, but as soon as he hears
footsteps, he whirls around. Almost instantly he rushes to me and pulls me
close for a hug. I revel in the warmth and familiarity of his comfort and hug
him back, letting out a shaky breath as I once again see Warren's maniacal
face behind my closed eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Raine. I promised you this wouldn't happen ag-"

I cut Toby off by squeezing him before he can finish his sentence and let
West in on my secret that this isn't the first time Warren has attacked me. He
catches on and squeezes me back apologetically before we pull apart. He
eyes the bruise on my cheek with a frown.

"That bad?"

"It'll fade," he says reassuringly, but I think that was more for himself.

I just smile and nod. I don't have the energy to sign that though the bruise
will fade, the memory won't.

"I'm going to go call my mom and let her know where I am," West says
before pulling out his phone and walking out of the room.
I stare at his broad back as he walks away and questions pop back into my
mind. There is clearly something going on with him and Warren; their
conversations have been way too cryptic for my liking. No one else would
dare mess with West, too afraid of what he could do, and Warren knows the
dangers of it too. So instead, he has chosen tactics of manipulation to
torment West, I've caught that much...but manipulation using what
information? And why does he have that information?

"I called Dad last night," Toby admits carefully, pulling me from my
thoughts about West. "He should be here by mid-afternoon. New York is
getting pounded with snow and he says he's trying to catch the earliest flight
he can but they keep getting delayed."

A flood of warmth passes through me when I think about Dad being here to
help me through this. He was there for me the first time. He and Toby are
two of the biggest reasons I ended up being okay, and knowing that despite
the long-distance and despite the strain on our relationship he still is going
to be here for me...it's something that I need right now.

"Thank you."

Toby pulls me in for another hug in response.

"I'm just sorry I didn't uphold my promise."

I pull away so that he can see my signs.

"This is in no way your fault, or any of the others' fault. Warren is to

blame."

Toby sighs deeply and nods with a halfhearted smile. Clearly he's not
convinced that I'm not upset with him or any one else except for Warren.
My eyes go to the window and I watch as the rain pours down outside. I
watch droplets slide down the window over and over again, and I jump in
the slightest with each distant roar of thunder. My eyes follow a bluebird as
it flies towards our bird feeder, quickly regretting his decision to be out in
the rain. Kind of like how I quickly regretted my decision to go to the party
last night.
That's when the scent of coffee hits me full force and I glance over at the
counter to the two steaming mugs.

"Is one of these for me?"

I ask, reaching out to take the larger of the two.

Toby scratches the back of his neck. "Uh- yeah, totally."

After pouring in equal parts cream and sugar, I take my coffee stark white, I
raise a brow at his odd reaction as I take a sip.

Setting it down, I begin to sign.

"Well, who else would it be-"

My hands still when Alyse suddenly comes into the kitchen, wearing one of
Toby's sweatshirts and a pair of his sweatpants with her hair slightly messy.
My jaw drops a little when she freezes like a deer caught in headlights upon
seeing me.

"O-oh. Hey, Raine! I didn't think you would be awake."

I glance at her, at Toby, and then back to her, staying silent before Toby
quickly jumps in and answers my unspoken question.

"After you and West went to bed, the rest of us had to figure out where to
stay. Since Dad isn't here right now and the Master is basically a guest
room, I offered for Alyse to stay over. Tyler ended up walking home despite
the rest of us telling him not to, and Gray decided to call an Uber since his
mom would flip if he didn't make it back."

I shift my eyes back to Alyse and warily eye the clothes she has on, and she
takes over.

"I obviously couldn't sleep in my party clothes, and the thought of sleeping
in your Dad's bed naked was equally as gross, so Toby offered for me to
wear his clothes. The alternative option was going into your room to wake
you, but I clearly wasn't about to do that."
Her story is almost too convincing.

If I was able to speak, this would be the exact moment I would say
something along the lines of "riiiiggght..." or "uh

huh.

.." to show that they didn't succeed in erasing my suspicion.

"But anyway, Raine are you okay?" Alyse asks, discarding the awkward
tension for a more serious tone.

I drop my gaze to the coffee back in my hands. In that moment, West

appears back in the kitchen. He somehow commands any room just by
being there and all attention shifts to him whether he means for it to or not.
No one fails to notice West or how strong he is, both physically and
mentally. And this strong man was there for me at my lowest point last
night, and again this morning, and he's made no signs to show that he's
going to stop.

Forcing my eyes to go back to Alyse I give a small smile and nod.

"I will be."

West smiles at me and my heart unconsciously thuds faster. He really was

there for me at one of my weakest moments and didn't dare shy away. No,
instead he got closer. Closer to my secrets, but also closer to my heart.
Neither of us look away from one another, and I feel my unpleasant
thoughts slipping away, being replaced with thoughts of West. His dark
brown eyes, his mesmerizing smirk, his sharp jaw line, his gentle smile.

"Toby, do you mind giving me a ride home? My mom is blowing up my

phone right now," Alyse murmurs, and Toby is quick to follow her to the
front and out the door.

"So, you think something is going on with those two?" West asks as he
walks further into the kitchen.

I chuckle,
"Definitely, and I'm going to interrogate Alyse on it eventually."

He walks over to me and my chuckles stop from his serious yet gentle
expression. It dawns on me yet again just how close he and I have become.
I don't know if there's any chance of me escaping this secret anymore. I
don't know if it's an option to keep it from him for as long as I want to, and
once again that thought terrifies me.

"Sunshine," he starts, snapping me out of my thoughts. "It's important to me

that you know that last night...well, I don't even know if you are
embarrassed at all or what you're feeling, but you need to know that nothing
is going to scare me away or make me think less of you or whatever else
I'm worried you've conjured up in that head of yours."

I don't know how to respond to him. I don't know how he manages to

always say exactly what I need to hear. But I do know that I'm not the only
one with a past they're afraid to reveal. So I take a step closer to him so that
I have to slightly crane my neck to keep his gaze locked on mine.

"The same goes for me. Whatever you were too afraid that Warren was
going to say last night... you don't have to be. I'm here, West."

That catches him off guard. He stares silently at me, struggling to put up a
guard to hide whatever secrets he's been trying to keep from me. I reach my
hand out to gently rest on his cheek to let him know that I'm telling the
truth. He doesn't have to hide from me. Maybe that's makes me a hypocrite,
but I need him to know that I'm here.

His brows draw together and he leans into my touch and I feel like I can see
the way his heartbeat speeds up, until eventually he lets out a shaky breath.

"Raine... there's some things I need to tell you."

---

12/8/2020 - This may seem like a filler, but I promise it is anything but. I
completely rewrote this chapter to lead up to what I know everyone is
anticipating in the next edit! Finals are drawing closer and closer, my first
one is less than a week away, but I knew I had to update again before then.
Please, please, please bare with me here. I will update as soon as I have the
free time, but you may have to wait another week (hopefully I can post
another edit sooner though).
Chapter Twenty Eight (Edited
12/12/2020)
12/12/2020 - First final = done. Got a solid 93% so I'm off to a good start
and felt like celebrating by editing another chapter! It was completely
rewritten, so you'll notice the lack of comments. Lets fix that! Comment
away :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Eight

West and I move to the living room for whatever it is he needs to tell me.
My mind is racing. If there are things he needs to tell me, then that
ultimately means there are things he has kept from me. I trust West. I trust
him more than someone with my past should, and for some odd reason I
have a pit in my stomach that what's about to come is going to challenge
that feeling.

We sit down facing one another and the worn cushions don't provide any
comfort. Instead they seem to absorb us so that we can't escape the
conversation to come. I try to catch West's eye but he expertly avoids my
gaze.

He stays quiet for a few moments and I can tell that he's stuck in his
thoughts, so I reach out and take his hand. He jumps slightly and snaps his
eyes to me and my reassuring smile. Instead of returning it, West clenches
his jaw and furrows his brow with guilt. My own smile drops and I take in a
deep breath, trying to keep my heart beating at a normal pace, but West's
sudden mood change is terrifying me. The room around us is silent. All we
can hear is the gentle patter of the rain outside and West focuses his gaze on
the droplets sliding down the window.

"Sunshine..." he starts hesitantly, clearing his throat. "Have you ever been
afraid of me?"
The vulnerability in his voice shocks me and I squeeze the hand I'm still
holding. He catches my gaze with unwavering intensity as he pleads with
me.

"Be honest. Please."

"I was afraid of the rumors. When I met you, I surprised myself when I
wasn't scared. Why are you asking me this?"

"Do you trust me?"

The yearning in his tone tugs painfully on my heart. It's such a simple
question but the gravity behind the answer is enough to make or break
relationships. But I've been saying all along that I trust West. And that's
what makes this moment so terrifying to me. The fear that that trust is about
to be broken.

"Of course."

If my answers are what he wants to hear, West makes no notion of it. He

just keeps asking questions.

"How come you rarely ask me about juvie?"

"Because I can tell how hard it is for you to talk about it. I never wanted to
force you to tell me something if you weren't ready."

He nods, taking in a shaky breath. "If you're willing to listen, then I'm ready
to tell you. Everything."

My eyes widen slightly and my back straightens. I suppose I knew that our
relationship was close enough for secrets to start coming out, but I wasn't
ready for this to happen yet.

"Just...please remember that no matter what I say, I still care about you and
I would

never
hurt you." West says, reaching out to take my hand as his voice yet again
pleads with me.

Whatever tactic I was using to calm my heart instantly fails me and it starts
pounding painfully against my chest. Since West still has my hand held
tightly in his, I only nod in response. With another deep breath, he lets it out
slowly before he starts his story.

"If you remember, I told you how I've never met my real dad. He was never
in my life, just got my mom pregnant when she was seventeen and fled. Her
parents resented her for getting knocked up so young and turned their backs
on her. She was kicked out, forced to get a job and fend for herself. My
mom is the strongest person I know and she was able to land on her feet,
but there were still times when she struggled to put food on our table. I was
all she had until I was about seven. That's when she met Jason."

West's voice instantly hardens as he spits out his name, and his hand in
mine tenses. I try to soothe him by rubbing my thumb on his skin and
slowly, his hand begins to relax but his voice stays tight.

"They started dating and he was like her Prince Charming. He helped with
her bills, made sure our pantry was always fully stocked, and even had the
money to take us on a cruise when I was eight. I never understood what it
was like to have a father figure and I remember being so excited to have
finally found that in Jason..."

West trails off with a furrowed brow, staring down at the floor as he gets
lost in his thoughts. I squeeze his hand to bring him back to me.

"But after they had been together for a few months, my mom found out she
was pregnant. She wasn't all that happy about it. I'm sure that after getting
pregnant with me at such a young age, she wanted to wait until she had
been with someone for a long time before having another kid. I guess we
don't always get what we want, though. Jason, on the other hand, seemed
ecstatic to be having a kid. He proposed to my mom and suddenly her
mindset changed and she was excited. I guess she realized that she wouldn't
have to raise us alone; that she had someone there to help. So, Jason moved
in. And that's when everything changed."
West's eyes become glossy, but I don't think his oncoming tears are because
he's sad. The way his jaw clenches and unclenches and the vicious look in
his eye tells me otherwise. His hand slips out of mine.

"We found out that Jason was a drug dealer. That's where all of his money
came from, not whatever lie he told my mom to rope her in. When she
found out...she tried to leave him, but when you're only 25 and you can
barely support yourself and your son, much less a baby on the way, it's not
that simple. She still tried, though. She didn't want me around the stuff that
Jason had his hands in. But, the moment that he thought she was going to
leave him, he resorted to forcing her to stay."

West's hands are so tightly clenched that I actually worry his skin is going
to split on his knuckles. His eyes are far away and I know his mind has
taken him back to the moments he shouldn't have to relive. My stomach
feels sick as I imagine the horrors that young West had to go through, and it
sticks out in my mind that he was only eight.

"I-I didn't fully understand right away what he was doing to my mom. I
only noticed that her smiles became fake; rehearsed. My teacher that year
was pregnant, too, but her smile only got happier the further into her
pregnancy she became. So I knew something was off, but it wasn't until-"

He has to pause, squeezing his eyes tight as the memory takes him over. I
instantly reach out and rest my hand on his shoulder, causing him to tense
even more as he fights with the scene going on behind his closed eyes.

"It wasn't until I had a nightmare one night a-and couldn't go back to sleep.
So I got up and went down the hall to her room, which is Casper's room
now. B-but as I walked down the hall, I started hearing these noises. These
loud, painful, noises."

His voice gets quiet as he tries to push through and tell me his story, but it's
becoming harder and harder. West lifts his clenched hands to his head, as
though trying to drown out the sounds I'm sure he's spent years trying to
forget.
I cover his hands with my own, gently pulling them back down into his lap
to give him the best comfort that I can. I want nothing more than to be able
to talk and reassure him out loud that he's okay. That I'm right here with
him. To remind him of how strong he is and that he doesn't have to say
anything else if he doesn't want to.

He forces his eyes open to look at me and I squeeze his hands as

comfortingly as I can, trying to let him know everything I want to say but
can't. He continues with a quivering chin.

"The door to her room was cracked, so I saw...I saw Jason hitting her. I saw
his hands on her throat as he pinned her against the wall. I didn't know what
to do. I was frozen in place. I wanted to burst into the room and help her,
get him away from her. B-but I was just a kid and my body wouldn't move.
I guess I made some sort of noise, though, because her eyes snapped to the
doorway and she saw me. I'll never forget the raw fear in her eyes. She
wasn't scared for herself; she was terrified that if Jason saw me, he'd start
hurting me too. So she pleaded with me through our stare to get away. To go
back to bed. So I did. I walked away. I let him continue to beat her."

The tears West held back suddenly make their appearance, but I quickly lift
my hand and wipe them away, softly stroking his cheeks in the process. He
shuts his eyes tight and leans deeply into my hand as his chin quivers
against his will. Tears manage to still slip out of his eyes and slide down his
cheek, falling slower and slower until they finally cease. When his tears
have gone, West finally looks at me and I softly shake my head so that he
knows I'm telling him not to blame himself. It's not his fault. He regretfully
pulls away from my hand and it drops back down to my side, and he goes to
continue.

"A few months after that night, she had Casper, but I wasn't excited
anymore to have a baby brother and she wasn't excited to bring him into
this world either. That doesn't mean I didn't love Casper the second she let
me hold him, because I did. That kid...he changed things for me. I was nine
and already started hating life after I watched the things it did to my mom,
but when I first held Casper I understood that I needed to look out for my
family. So, when the beatings didn't stop, I took it upon myself to finally
make a change. I wouldn't let Casper be born into hatred."
Warmth spreads through my body upon hearing the way West talks about
Casper, but my chest tightens. He was only nine. He was only nine and he
felt the burden that he had to save his family. He should have been having
playdates with his friends, learning how to ride a bike; only burdened with
his first time seeing a multiplication table in elementary school.

"One night when Casper was two I took my moms phone, hid in my room,
and called the police. I was so scared and I was shaking so badly that I
could barely punch in the numbers. And somehow...somehow he knew.
Jason burst the door open and came at me, sending a stinging slap at my
mom when she tried to stop him. His ring caught on her cheek and created a
nasty gash, and she fell to the floor. I fought him off the best I could, but he
was so much bigger than me. He held me down and 'taught me a lesson
about stepping out of line.' It didn't take long for me to have matching
wounds to my mom. I got lucky that Jason never thought to hang up the
phone and 911 stayed on the other line. The police were there within
minutes arresting Jason and rushing me and my mom to a hospital. It was
my eleventh birthday."

It was my eleventh birthday.

"He was sent to jail and we went on with our life. We finally had a shot at
being happy, but I wasn't the same. Hate was drilled into me for so long that
I didn't know how to cope. I stayed to myself all throughout middle school,
causing trouble here and there with my teachers. It wasn't until I turned 14
that shit for me really hit the fan. I started hanging out with the wrong
crowd. There were some guys down the road who were all older and were
all high school dropouts. I thought they were so cool for being able to say
fuck the system and go off on their own. They fed into my anger and gave
me a release in drugs and alcohol. I was just a kid yet I was staying out all
night with guys ten years older than me.

"Nothing my mom could do would help. I just rebelled and rebelled. Casper
was the only one who never saw that side of me. He was just a little kid and
I made it a point not to let him see who I was becoming, because I was
ashamed of myself and that only made things worse. I wanted to stop. I
wanted to be a better role model. I could tell how much I upset my
mom...she blamed herself for who I was. And, though she'll never admit
it...I think a part of her feared that I would become just like Jason. I was
walking down the same path."

My entire body is tingling with shock as West reveals more about his past.
The person he's describing sounds like the opposite of the man sitting next
to me, and I can't wrap my head around the fact that this was West less than
three years ago.

"Then, when I was 16, Jason was released. Yet again, my mom had really
been struggling to pay her bills and put food on our table. So, when I found
out that Jason had been released, I was scared that he was going to come
back and that my mom would agree just because we needed the financial
help. I couldn't let that happen. My family needed me again so I made sure
to be there for them. I started hanging out with those guys down the street
less and less, starting going to the gym, helped out around the house more,
and was more involved in helping raise Casper. I tried to get a job but I had
a bit of a reputation for all the stupid shit I did and nowhere would hire
me."

"Jason did come back. And my mom did accept him. He swore he was a
changed man, that being in jail opened his eyes to all the wrong things he
did. Said he served his time and that every day he only thought about us,
about how he wanted to be there for Casper and be a good father figure. I
guess that struck a cord with my mom since I had grown up for the most
part without one and, well...I guess she saw where that got me. But Jason
actually seemed like he

had

changed. He was suddenly sweet to my mom, acted like a real dad to

Casper, and was able to get a real job that helped stop our financial
struggles. Things seemed to be looking up for a few months, but that doesn't
mean I trusted him."

"Then, a few weeks after my 17th birthday, I finally felt like I could have a
good life. I felt like I could get out of here, graduate high school and secure
a good job so that my mom and Casper would always be well provided for
the day Jason made a mistake, because I
knew

that day would come. And it did. I came home from school early one day,
but something was off. I got inside and didn't see anyone in the living room,
but Jason's car was in the driveway. That's when I heard it. That noise. That
same loud, painful noise..."

His voice is close to giving out and his hands are shaking. My chest tightens
even more, an aching pain becoming more and more prevalent with no
signs of stopping. I hate seeing West like this. All I want to do is be able to
comfort him, whisper those words of reassurance just so that he can hear
them.

"All of the sudden I felt like I was that scared little kid again walking
towards his moms room because of a stupid nightmare. The door was
cracked again and I peeked inside to see Jason throwing my mom violently
onto the floor. S-she cowered back, inching away from him while he
towered over her, and that's when her eyes caught sight of me. Once again
she pleaded for me to go away, but I wasn't a defenseless kid anymore. No,
I would make him pay this time. Within a second, I swung the door open
and was across the room, grabbing Jason and slamming him against the
wall like I had seen him do to my mom years ago. He fell to the floor after
his head banged violently against the wall, but I wasn't satisfied. I started
beating him senseless. I went wild with rage. All I could see was him
hurting my mom and I wanted to make him pay."

"It wasn't until I caught sight of Casper standing in the doorway, watching
with wide, scared eyes, that I stopped. He seemed frozen in place as he
watched me beat Jason through the half-open door. He was eight years old.
I guess between my mom screaming and me yelling at Jason, our neighbors
overheard and called the cops. Because before I had the chance to get off of
Jason and realize what just happened, I was being taken out in handcuffs."

He stops there. His eyes are trained on the couch as he sits stiffly. My brain
can't seem to fully comprehend everything he just unloaded on me. The
only thing I can focus on is how much more admiration and respect I have
for him. The fact that he can still smile and laugh today and be the carefree
West that I've come to know...it proves that his definition of strength goes
well beyond anyone else.

I can't help myself. I reach forward and throw my arms around him,
hugging him tightly. I try to pour out every ounce of admiration I have for
him into the hug, trying to let him know that his story didn't scare me away.
It did the opposite. West stiffens for a second before melting into the hug
and wrapping his arms securely around me. He buries his face into my
shoulder, breathing in a shaky breath as he squeezes me tighter.

"I know that was a lot," he says quietly, "but please don't let that story
change the way you see me. Please."

I pull away from him and offer him a small smile,

"I would never. You're incredibly strong, West. Thank you for telling me
your story."

For the first time since this morning, West gives me a small smile. All too
soon, however, that smile fades and the guilt from earlier takes its place and
he looks away.

"What's wrong?"

"Sunshine...there's more to the story. I had a good case to not have to do any
time. Jason had been to jail before for domestic violence and my mom had
the bruises to prove he did it again. I just jumped in to save her, I should
have easily evaded Jason's charges. With any other prosecutor, I would
have. But instead...Jason somehow had one of the top prosecutors in
Chicago on his case. Nathanial Snow."

Flashbacks to my own trial suddenly take over my mind. Warren standing

trial. Nathanial Snow, his father, defending him outside of his usual
prosecutor role. Nathanial making me sound like a liar. Nathanial making it
sound like
I

advanced onto Warren. Nathanial triumphantly walking out of the court

room after his son's verdict was read;

not guilty.

West continues, taking me away from the scene playing in my head.

"That's why I hated Warren that first day. I knew who his father was; the
one who ruined my life. And it wasn't only my life that he ruined, either. He
was responsible for nearly half of the kids that were in juvie with me."

He pauses, shifting so that he's facing me as he takes my hand in his.

"But my hatred went beyond that. Fast. After that day in the hall, when I
saw the way he made you feel...I hated that. I hated that he made you cower
with fear just like his father made me and so many others cower away in
juvie. So, I took out a bit of my hatred on his car and slashed his tires, and
that's when things started to go downhill. Warren must have told his father
what happened, because a few days later Warren came to talk to me at my
Jeep. You remember, right?"

I distinctly recall the day a few weeks ago where Warren and West were in
an argument at his Jeep. West seemed to be on the defense for the first time
and even seemed a little scared of the things Warren was saying. He told all
of us that Warren threatened him about the tires.

I nod and West continues.

"Well, he didn't threaten me about the tires. Nathanial had told him about
my case. Warren knew why I was sent to juvie, and that's something I
wanted to keep hidden. I didn't want to have to relive it every time I walked
down the hall at school because some kid would think it was okay to ask me
about it. Warren knew and he threatened me with it. I couldn't handle him
having a leg up on me; I couldn't give him that satisfaction."
I listen intently, curiosity making my head spin. I'm hanging onto West's
every word, but he suddenly stops and looks away from me, face swamped
with guilt. His voice comes out shakier, more tentative, as he keeps talking.

"I faintly recalled a story that some of the guys in juvie would tell. It was all
about how crooked Snow is. It was some story about his son standing trial. I
figured if I learned what happened with Warren in that story, then I could
use that to my advantage and he would no longer have the upper-hand. So, I
visited my friends in juvie that day to hear it."

My blood runs cold. My body stiffens. My heart stops.

West lifts his gaze to mine, his swimming with regret as he says the one
thing I never wanted to hear.

"They told me the story about how Snow defended his son, accused of rape,
against a victim that couldn't speak at her trial."

---

12/12/2020 - Some of your theories were correct, it seems...hehehe. For my

RR's, thoughts on the changes?
Chapter Twenty Nine (Edited
12/14/2020)
12/14/2020 - Got another 93% on my second finals so I'm feeling good :)
This chapter is entirely rewritten, so please get those inline comments back
up! Have fun reading hehe

Also, thank you

TikTokQueenzzz

for the cover!

Silently Falling: Chapter Twenty Nine

Everything goes silent as I stare at West. I no longer hear the rain outside or
the dull roar of the heat turning on. Instead, all I hear are West's words on
repeat in my mind.

He knew. He knew this entire time.

My thoughts flash to that day in the hallway the other week; when West
pinned Warren against the lockers after Warren mocked me for being mute.
They were speaking so quietly to one another and I was too scared of
Warren to step forward and listen. I had no clue what they were talking
about, no one did. I believed West when he later said that he was
threatening Warren with whatever tire information he got from juvie, and
West made my heart flutter when he admitted that part of his actions was
payback for the stunt Warren had pulled when West drove me and Alyse
home from the library.

But that was nothing but a lie. West wasn't angry that Warren nearly hit us
and he wasn't threatening Warren with some information about how to get
away with slashing tires. He was angry that Warren knew how he got sent to
juvie, and he was using my secret, my greatest nightmare, to give himself
the upper-hand.

A clap of thunder pulls me out of my thoughts and back into the living room
with West, but the room now feels smaller, like the walls are closing in. It
suddenly feels like West is sitting way too close to me as his guilty eyes
bore into me. My heart begins to thud faster as I stare at him, anger and
betrayal seeping into my veins. I start to back away from West, finally
breaking eye contact as tears blur my vision. They burn the back of my
throat as I force them away. I can't let them fall. I can't let him see how
weak I am. Not anymore.

"Raine, you have to understand that I never meant to-"

I snap my icy gaze to his and he cuts himself off, his own eyes starting to
become glossy with emotion.

"You knew this entire time why I'm not able to talk. Why I'm afraid of
parties. Why I only trust my closest friends, and then you forced your way
into my heart to gain my trust, too, and the whole time you knew my deepest
secret. Was I some charity case to you?"

"No! Raine, I wanted to get to know you way before I found out what
Warren did to you. I started to care about you the moment we met, and all I
knew at that point was that you intrigued me and I wanted to get to know
you better. Learning about your past had nothing to do with my feelings for
you. It

has

nothing to do with my feelings for you."

I want to believe him, I want to trust him, but now I can't. Not after this.

"So you've never felt the need to protect me because of what you learned?"

West furrows his brow. "Of course I've felt the need to protect you. To make
sure he never hurts you-"
"That's my point!"

I sign quickly, cutting him off.

"I never wanted you to know because it paints me in a different light, you
saw me as a girl that needed saving."

"Not as a girl who needed saving, Raine. It only made me see how strong
you are. I told you, I wanted to get to know you the minute I met you and I
didn't know then."

I shake my head, unable to believe him no matter how badly I want to.

"You knew that there was some court case surrounding Warren. The day you
and I met he came to our table and you could tell we all hated him. You
mean to tell me you had no suspicions of that?"

His eyes widen as he pleads with me. "I swear to you that that thought
hadn't even crossed my mind. I had no idea it was about you until I went to
juvie that day, Raine. I promise."

But his words don't really reach me. They don't give me any comfort. How
am I supposed to trust him now?

"So when you saw how shaken up I was that day in the stairwell, it didn't
even cross your mind then?"

"I told you why I was so angry that day. That was only because I came to
care about you and hated that another member of the Snow family had
someone cowering away from them in fear. I swear I didn't know."

"What about that day in the hall with Warren? When you pinned him
against the lockers? I know you knew at that point. You said that to keep
him in check, you threatened him with the information you got from your
friends in juvie... at the time I thought it was about the stupid tires. But you
used my past, used my..."

My hands shake as I sign, my expression giving away everything that my

lack of a voice can't. I want him to see how angry I am, but the tears I've
been trying to hard to keep at bay suddenly push forward and a single tear
slides down my cheek as I finish what I never wanted to say.

"You used my rape to your advantage."

A few more tears slide down my cheeks as I glare at him. The guilt in his
expression doubles as he watches me silently cry and he quickly shakes his
head, scooting closer to me. His voice is shaky, scared.

"No, Raine, I promise I never used it for some stupid personal advantage.
You have to believe me. Knowing what he did made me so...so

angry

. So, I-I used it to make Warren back off from you. I told him that if he ever
bothered you or touched you again, t-that I would tell the whole school
what he did. I wanted him to stop scaring you because it killed me to see
you that way."

That only makes my heart drop even further. I was hoping West would say
something that I could understand, something that would make this painful
ache in my heart go away. But he just made things even worse. Anger
spreads through my body and I shoot off the couch, unable to sit anywhere
close to him.

"West, in this situation it doesn't matter how you felt! It doesn't matter if it
was hard for you to see my reactions to Warren, and it doesn't matter if you
got angry about it! I'm the one who had to live through it. I'm the one who
has to live through it every day! You should never have been able to make
that threat to him in the first place. You should never have been able to
bargain with my secret, with my past. You shouldn't know it! And the fact
that you threatened to tell the whole school..."

"I-I thought that would make him back off. I wouldn't have told, I know it's
not my place. I just wanted him to stop bothering you, Sunshine."

I wince when he uses my nickname. I'd grown to love it at this point, but
now it just hurts to hear. West tries to come closer to me, reaching out for
my hand, but I back away.

"Warren is always going to find a way to bother me, but I can handle it. I
have Toby, Alyse, Gray, and Tyler. They've helped me deal with this for the
past three years and never felt the need to threaten Warren with telling the
whole school! Because they know how much I don't want that to happen!"

"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to make him stop," West says with a broken
voice.

More tears slide down my cheeks as I stare at West. His dark brown eyes
used to give me a sense of comfort, like I actually had a chance at escaping
my past. But now all they're doing is putting a vile taste in my mouth.

"I don't need you to try and fix things when you shouldn't even think they're
broken in the first place

And somewhere deep down, you knew that.

Yet

you still used my rape for your own personal gain.

Because I'd bet everything that another part of that 'deal' was also that he
didn't tell anyone about why you went to juvie."

West doesn't deny it. My heart sinks deeper and the ache becomes even
worse.

"So don't tell me that you did it for me, because it's clear that wasn't your
intention. You needed to make sure he wouldn't spill your secret. That's the
whole reason you went searching for mine, isn't it?"

I can see how much what I sign hurts him and though his pained expression
tugs at my heart, I still turn around to walk away. He lied to me. But he
quickly speaks up, stopping me in my tracks.

"Raine, never in a million years did I expect that story to be about you. If I
could go back and never go visit juvie that day, I would. I would go back
and let you tell me on your own time. I am

so

sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

I whip around to face him. His words did the opposite of calming me down.
Now all I can picture is the day he found out. When he sat there and
willingly listened as his friends told him all about my darkest moment.

"What did they tell you, anyway? Was there a point in the story where you
could have made them stop? Or were you too concerned with getting every
last detail to ensure Warren wouldn't expose you?"

I'm so angry and hurt that I'm signing even faster than I think I can
comprehend, and West clearly can't keep up. It isn't his fault that he can't
understand me, but it only increases my anger and frustration at this entire
situation. I feel so incredibly

helpless

. And as betrayed as West has made me feel, there's still a part of me that
wants to run into his arms right now so that he can make all of this pain go
away. Knowing that I can't, that I can't pretend this didn't happen, that he
was lying to me this whole time, just makes me feel even more alone. I can't
even argue the right way. West has most likely lost a lot of the things I've
been signing, unable to keep up with it all.

"Raine, I can't understand, I'm sorry. Please just slow down."

I shut my eyes tight as my body lights with rage, causing my heartrate to

spike. The ache in my chest is getting worse and my breathing is becoming
erratic, but I can't stop. I clench my hands into fists and lift them to my
head, pressing my palms into my eyes as I try and get rid of this feeling.

"Sunshine calm down, take a few deep breaths," he pleads.

Suddenly, I feel his hands on mine, trying to pull them away from my face.
His touch doesn't calm me down. It makes all of my anger want to burst out
of me that he thinks he has any right to try and console me after what he
did. Instantly, I shove him away from me and open my seething eyes to land
on him. He's standing in front of me with wide, worried eyes. My breathing
gets faster and faster as I stare at him, but I don't want his help.

Frustration fills my lungs when he doesn't move, making it even harder to

calm my heavy breaths and rapid heartrate. No one will listen to me if
there's nothing to actually listen to. I feel like I'm about to explode. I shut
my eyes tight again, holding back the angry tears that are scratching the
back of my throat and watering my eyes. I was able to find my voice to save
him last night and I search my brain for that same feeling right now, to save
myself.

I find that pleading voice in the back of my head, wanting to scream out all
of the heartache I've endured in the last three years. Getting my innocence
stolen, losing the court case without getting justice, being forced to live in
silence and have my guard up, meeting West and finally seeing the chance
to let that guard down, opening up my heart to him, learning to trust again,
losing that trust. It all comes tumbling down on me at once; one giant
explosion of emotion and courage to break through the chains that have
bound me all this time.

"I can't do this anymore!"

The words burst out of me and fill the silent room, despite how raspy it
sounds.

I snap my eyes open to catch West's astonished gaze, rooted into place as he
stares at me. I can't hold back my tears anymore and I start sobbing,
dropping to my knees as I heave sob after sob while all of my frustrated
emotions wash over me. West is instantly at my side, reaching out to rest his
hand on my shoulder, but I shove him off.

"Sunshine..."

I force myself to look at him and shake my head.

"Just go," I manage to say, though my throat is dry and hoarse and my voice
is barely a whisper. "Please."

The hurt in his eyes nearly makes me take it back and curl into his arms, but
I knowing that he knew my secret this whole times has me staying quiet as
he regretfully stands up.

"I..." he trails off, staring at me with his own tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm
proud of you for finding your voice, I'm just sorry that it took this to make
it happen. I never wanted to hurt you."

I look away without saying anything and try to regulate my tears. A few
moments later I hear his footsteps head towards the door, but he pauses
before opening it.

"Sunshine...they may have told me about the court case, but

no one

can tell me your story except for you. If you can ever forgive me, I'll always
be here to listen. I'm sorry."

Then the door opens and I'm left all alone.

OoO

I don't know how long I sit there sobbing on the floor. I force myself to hold
onto this emotional storm inside that spurred my voice. Every few minutes,
I try my voice again and am constantly relieved when I'm able to say a
couple of words. Knowing that I may have finally broken past that barrier is
the only thing keeping me going. But I'm emotionally drained. My heart
hasn't stopped throbbing painfully this entire time, but my tears have
slowed.

Some time later, I hear the front door open but I don't have the energy to
turn my head and see who it is.

"Raine, oh my god!"

My breath hitches when I hear my dad's voice followed by frantic footsteps

rushing towards me. In seconds, I'm pulled into familiar arms and I melt
into them. I soak in my dad's comforting scent and ignore my pounding
headache, instead focusing on the relief of having him here with me.

"Sweetheart," he breathes, his heart pounding potentially harder than mine.

"It's okay, I'm here."

Hearing his voice is all it takes for my body to somehow find a tear reserve
and I start sobbing again. His arms tighten around me, providing me the
comfort I desperately needed. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I'm
reminded that these aren't Wests arms and that causes a shock of pain to
reach my chest. I can't wish for his arms anymore. Not after what he did.

"What happened?" Dad asks gently.

I shake my head and bury further into his warmth, wishing for all of my
heartache to go away. But I take in a shaky breath, opening my mouth to
once again test my voice and talk to my dad for the first time in three years.

"He lied," I manage to croak out, a sob immediately following.

More anger stirs in my chest. My first words to my dad since that fateful
night, and they're about how another guy I trusted betrayed me.

My dad's entire body stiffens when he hears my gravelly voice. I expect

him to pull away and stare at me in shock before interrogating me on how I
found my voice, but he doesn't. He stays holding me securely in his arms,
soothingly rubbing my back.

"Who lied, sweetheart?"

I pull away just enough to meet his concerned eyes and sniffle away another
sob as I reply.

"West."

---

12/14/2020 - Yeah, so that happened. Very different from the original plot,
but I really hope you guys are liking the changes. I also hope that you guys
liked that I added the 'OoO' to this chapter. I felt like the relief of chuckling
at the odd scene break was needed... Please don't hate me, I promise that
you won't feel this heartbreak for long.
Chapter Thirty (Edited 1/5/2021)
Thank you again to Shall_Know_Pain for another amazing cover! You've
sent in a bunch and I really appreciate it :) If anyone else wants to send me
one to fill the new chapters, you can DM me on Instagram (Liz_Plum) or
email me.

1/5/2021- First edit of the new year! It took me three days to write this
chapter, mainly because I know how important it is and I wanted to make
sure I wrote it the right way. This is a completely rewritten chapter;
honestly, the rest of the story is pretty much going to be rewritten. I know
that most of you were not fans of the Tyler vs. West jealousy arc, and while
that will still play a role, it won't take up like 10 chapters as it did before
the edits lol. I will be posting the original, unedited story soon!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty

My Dad stays there comforting me for as long as I need. He remains quiet;

either too nervous to ask more questions or too distraught to know how. My
tears eventually cease, leaving me with a pounding headache. The persistent
rain storm outside is no help to the ache in my head; every time a large
droplet hits the metal rain guard outside, the sound is like another dagger to
my skull.

Dad carefully lets me go when I stop shaking with sobs, and I instantly miss
the comfort of his hug. I sniffle and wipe at the dried tear stains on my red
cheeks, cringing at the salty residue left behind.

"What happened?"

His voice is tentative, barely louder than the damn pounding of the rain
against the metal rain guard outside.

I swallow to try and relieve the scratchiness of my throat, to no avail, and

try to speak my response. It works, but there's no mistaking the unbearable
strain.
"West knew-" another hard swallow "-all along."

His eyes widen instantly, jaw clenching too.

"About...?"

I nod.

He has to glance away from me and take in a deep breath.

"How?"

"He has an issue with the Snow's too," I manage to say, though every word
is coming out scratchier than the last and I know it won't be long before my
voice gives out.

Dad's face switches from shock to concern and he reaches for my hands,
shaking his head softly.

"Hold on, sweetheart. Take this slow, okay? Use ASL for now; at least until
we can get you to a speech pathologist."

Now it's my turn for a shocked reaction. I shoot out of our sitting position
on the ground and stand up, throwing my hands out in frustration.

"I just got my voice back!" I try to yell, but my throat stings with every
word and I wince hard.

Dad stands as well, taking a small step towards me as his eyes plead with
me to understand.

"I know you did and I want more than anything to keep hearing you talk,
but I can hear how hard it is for you. You got past the mental block. Now
we need to ease into getting past the physical strain of using your vocal
chords so much for the first time in years."

My body is drained of tears, but my eyes still become shiny as I meet his
gaze.
"What if-"

That's all I can get out because of the pain, and I regretfully turn to ASL. I
fall onto the couch in defeat, sinking into the cushions to try and hide away
from this harsh reality.

"What if I can't do this again? If I stop now, what if it never comes back?"

Dad's eyes soften and he instantly sits next to me, causing my cushion to
lightly lift me up as his weight hits it. He reaches out for my hands again to
give them a comforting squeeze.

"That won't happen, sweetheart. In these past couple of weeks I can see
how much stronger you've become mentally. Your voice is here to stay. I
know it."

Though his reassurance helps, it doesn't fight away all of the doubt looming
in my mind. He sees right through my lame attempt at a smile and sighs,
patting my hands softly.

"How about this? I can go make some calls and find out what we can do
here at home to help before we get you to a doctor, okay?"

Relief starts to blanket me from his calm voice and I nod. I can't tell anyone
about my voice until I'm certain I can keep it. It would not only kill me to
know I was able to speak and lose it, but everyone else would be just as
distraught. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

"First, though," he starts carefully, "Can you tell me about what West did?"

Hearing his name sends a bullet through my heart and I physically flinch.
Closing my eyes, I take in a few deep breaths to calm my heartrate that
once again spiked, but it barely helps. My headache is still throbbing, my
chest has become sore, and my face is puffy from crying. I'm emotionally
exhausted and can't get through telling him right now, so I shake my head.
He doesn't pry any further. Instead, he reaches out to gently touch my
shoulder. I look at him and see the concern etched into his expression, but
he still gives me a small smile.
"That's okay, just tell me when you're ready. I'll go make some calls about
your voice. If you need me, I'll just be in my office."

However, as he stands to leave, he pauses by the wall before going down

the hallway and turns back to me.

"But West didn't...last night, he wasn't the one who?"

I realize that the little information I gave him points to the assumption that
West attacked me last night. I instantly shake my head and Dad noticeably
relaxes, letting out a shaky breath.

"Okay, I just had to make sure. It was hard for me to trust him around you
and if he had done that..."

"He just knew what happened to me this whole time and never told me."

"But he told you now?"

I pause and stare at him. West did eventually tell me, but that doesn't change
the fact that he waited too long. It doesn't change the fact that he used it to
his advantage over Warren or that he threatened to tell the entire school.

Dad puts his hands up and sighs. "I don't know the whole story and I won't
pry. You can tell me if and when you're ready, but to West's side, something
like that has got to be hard to admit to the girl you like. He could have
wanted to still give you the opportunity to tell him on your own terms."

Instead of arguing with him and telling him all the parts that he's missing, I
simply smile gratefully and nod. He's not convinced, but stays true to his
word and doesn't pry. He smiles back and taps on the wall before sighing
and heading to his office.

What he doesn't know is that West didn't just keep his knowledge of my
secret to himself and he didn't find out just by luck. He went searching for a
reason to threaten Warren and despite what that reason ended up being, he
still used it.

---
I drifted off to sleep shortly after Dad went into his office, but I wake with a
jolt. I shoot up, the Sherpa blanket that Dad must have draped over me falls
off of my shoulders and pools around my waist. The chilly air in the house
covers me and I start to shiver as I take a few moments to remind myself
that I'm back at home, sitting on the couch. All of my dreams were
consumed by West. His brown eyes danced around my head; only instead of
happiness in them all I could see was the overwhelming guilt stuck in them
earlier this morning. He knew what he did was wrong, so why did he do it
in the first place?

He could have told me at any time. He could have fessed up the day he
found out instead of lying and saying that his friends told him how to get
away with slashing tires. I suppose I should have seen through that lie right
away. He knew to only slash three tires, he knew to avoid the cameras, and
he knew to deny what he did to everyone. So wouldn't that mean he already
knew what he needed to get away with it? But I trusted him. I believed
every word he said because I didn't think he'd given me reason not to.

I run my hands over my face and shut my eyes tight, pressing my palms
into them. West never gave me a reason not to trust him. That's why I'm so
hurt. That's why I feel so betrayed. West became my rock. He became my
hope that someday I would fully overcome my past. My feelings for him
got deeper every time we hung out and I can't deny that my feelings have
gone way beyond just a friendship. I don't want to let those feelings go. I
want for this morning to never have happened. I want him to be here next to
me so that I can hug him and let all of this pain melt away. But I can't,
because he's the one who caused it.

Suddenly, I hear Toby's truck in the driveway from the familiar roar of his
engine. I move my hands and blink a few times to rid the blackness from
rubbing my eyes. Glancing out the window, I see him jog inside with his
breath showing in the cold winter air. The rain outside has slowed, but the
cloudy day still doesn't give way to the light and the mood matches mine.

The sound of the door opening pulls my gaze from the window towards
Toby. He comes inside, shutting out the cold air as he closes the door and
rubs his hands together to get them warm. When he sees me on the couch he
walks over to me, worry making his brows furrow. He sits down next to me
and frowns.

"How are you doing?"

I pull the blanket closer to me and shake my head, unsure of what to say.
I'm not okay. I still have the feeling of Warren's hands on me lingering on
my skin, and when I try to forget that my mind just drifts to West and
somehow that feeling is even worse. It makes my stomach constantly sink.

"Where's West?" Toby asks instead.

I shut my eyes when I feel them begin to water. I couldn't tell my Dad what
happened. I was too drained and exhausted, and he wouldn't understand. He
hasn't been here to see my relationship with West, but Toby has. Toby has
seen how close the two of us became. He has seen the way West allowed
me to open up and start to morph back into the girl I was before I lost my
voice.

Toby senses that something is off right away and I feel his body stiffen next
to mine.

"What happened, Raine? Did he do something?"

Taking in a deep breath, I open my eyes to meet the apprehension in his. If I

tell Toby he will never trust West again. I know it was just as hard for him
to open up to West and become friends with him, and to allow me to get so
close to him. If I tell Toby what happened with the one guy he finally felt
comfortable to let be around me, it could break him too. But I can't bear this
burden alone. I can't be alone with my thoughts.

"Hey, it's okay. You can tell me," Toby says softly.

So, I tell him. I sign everything that happened with West, aside from the
story of his past. What he went through as a kid and what ultimately landed
him in juvie is not my story to tell. Instead, I tell Toby about how West
found out my secret, how he never told me, and how he used it as a
bargaining chip with Warren.
Toby stays quiet when I finish and I wait with bated breath to see his
reaction. To my shock, he doesn't seem angry. He isn't even stunned.

"Why don't you look surprised that he knew?"

With a heavy sigh, Toby shifts in his seat.

"Because I already knew."

I feel like the breath is once again knocked out of my chest. I stiffen from
shock, but surprisingly enough I don't feel any anger stir up in me. I'm just
utterly confused.

"I was standing close enough to West and Warren that day in the hallway to
hear what they were saying."

My face scrunches in confusion as I recall that day. I was so focused on

West that I didn't bother to glance around the hallway to see if anyone else
could hear. I assumed no one could because it was clear that West and
Warren wanted to keep it between themselves. But it's more than that- I
don't remember Toby being angry. I don't remember him being cold towards
West or standoffish. If anything, Toby has never been rude towards West
ever since giving him a chance. Why wouldn't he be shaking with rage upon
hearing that West already knew my story that day? Especially if he heard
that West found out my story from someone other than me?

"And you weren't mad at him?"

"No."

I shake my head and give him an incredulous look.

"How? He threatened to tell the whole school what happened to me."

Toby tilts his head and stares at me through confused eyes.

"Yes he said that, but I knew he wouldn't. I'm surprised that you believe he
would."
My heart clenches. I want to believe that West wouldn't tell my story to
anyone, but how can I trust that he wouldn't?

"How do you know that he wouldn't?"

A look of puzzlement spreads even further across Toby's face as he

responds, speaking as though the answer is obvious and any anger towards
the situation would be foolish.

"For starters, if he did then me, Gray, and Tyler would have kicked his ass.
And second because this is West... Raine, do you honestly believe that that
guy would ever do something like that to you? That he would ever do
anything to hurt you?"

My eyes drop to the dark blue Sherpa blanket pooled on my lap. I fiddle
with the fleece on the bottom, picking at small clumps.

"Everything he said to Warren was to keep him away from you. Yeah it was
pretty shitty that he used your secret and threatened to tell people, but he
never did that with malicious intent. He'd lose you if he actually told
everyone and he wouldn't risk that. He did it to keep you safe, a risky bluff I
guess. It worked up until last night. Warren left you alone for a long time,
and we have West to thank for that."

My earlier conversation with West shoots to the front of my mind. I was so

caught up in my anger and betrayal that I didn't allow myself to fully listen
to his side of things. He said he only did it to protect me. That he only
wanted to keep Warren away. I was so angry that he used my past that I
refused to listen to his reasoning, instead I kept attacking him.

"He admitted to me that he used it to help himself, too. To make sure Warren
wouldn't tell anyone about why he was sent to juvie."

Toby pauses and tries to think back to the conversation that day. His eyes
focus on the couch while he wracks through his memory before he shakes
his head.
"All I remember is that at the very end of their talk, practically an
afterthought, West strongly advised Warren to also keep his secret if he
didn't want anything to get out. But the bulk of his threat was to keep
Warren away from you, Raine. It was clear to me that it wasn't for himself."

A stinging sensation spreads across my chest and I wince away. West did
hurt me. The sheer fact that he learned my past before I had the chance to
tell him... but was I too harsh? Did I overreact? I assumed West based his
threat on personal gain and that's all I could focus on. I refused to see past
that. I refused to uncloud my thoughts and listen to what he was saying. But
Toby just proved those thoughts wrong, West really did do it for me.

"Am I being irrational?"

I ask through a sniffle.

"He should have told me when he found out, right? Am I wrong for thinking
he betrayed me?"

Toby catches my eyes and frowns.

"I can't answer that, Raine. I can't tell you that your reaction was wrong,
because none of us will ever fully understand what you've been through or
the ways it effected you. But I can say that I don't think West betrayed your
trust. He never told anyone, he found on by accident, and he's always been
there for you. Can you really fault him for wanting to wait and give you the
chance to tell him on your own?"

I want so badly to believe that West never did this to hurt me, but I'm afraid
to. He broke down the walls that have so strongly guarded my heart and my
feelings. Was I only searching for a reason to build them back up?
Everything Toby has said has proved that what West was saying was true,
and deep down I know I believe him. It just feels safer to run away.

Toby sighs and stands up, gently ruffling up my hair with brotherly love. He
starts to walk out of the room but pauses and turns back to me.

"Do you really want to completely cut him out of your life because of this?"
My answer is immediate. Because despite the pain he put me through, my
feelings for West are too deep to suddenly stop.

"No."

It's true. It is safer for me to run away. It's safer for me to continue to guard
my heart and forget about West, but I know that I don't want to. I know that
forgetting him may not even be a possibility. I opened my heart to him and
it's my own mind that's convincing me he broke it. The more I think about
everything West and I have been through the more I realize that in reality,
West guarded my heart just as carefully as I have. He understands how
fragile it is and he's tried to protect it. He should have told me earlier that he
knew, but I should have understood that he was doing what he thought was
best.

After talking with Toby I can finally force myself to listen to what West said
earlier. He may know what happened to me, but no one but me can tell him
my story. So, when Toby heads upstairs to his room, I force myself up off
the couch and pad down the hallway to my Dad's office. I go inside and sit
down, ready to attempt all of the home-remedies he's found from whatever
doctors he has called so that I

can

tell West my story.

I need to talk to him, to hear more about his side of things before I can
forgive him, and now I'm willing to do that. He means too much to me for
me to just let him go.

---

A few hours and four home-remedies later, there's a knock at the front door.
Dad is on the phone with yet another doctor and Toby is probably engrossed
in a game of

Rocket League
, so I take it upon myself to head to the door and answer it. Much to my
surprise, when I pull the door open Tyler is standing on the other side
looking distraught. His hair is unruly as though he has been running his
hands through it nonstop, dark clothes wrinkled, and face contorted into
guilt.

He instantly steps forward and clutches me in his arms, but his hug doesn't
protect me from the cold winter air the way West's does and I still shiver in
his arms. He holds me tighter but I find no relief. It isn't until he speaks up
that I realize this hug isn't as much for me as it is for him.

"I am

so

sorry, Raine."

I'm taken aback by the insurmountable guilt in his voice and tighten my
arms, wanting to rid the pain he's feeling. Tyler has always been the happy
one of the group and hearing him so upset hurts.

"I left you alone last night. I let him get to you!"

My lips tug into a frown and I shake my head as I pull away, needing to let
him know that I don't blame him.

"You don't need to apologize. It isn't your job to protect me."

"Yes it is. I promised I'd protect you when we became friends. Remember?
I'm big Teddy Bear Ty who may be a softie but protects the people closest
to him."

I smile slightly as he recalls snippets from many different conversations

we've had.

"You did nothing wrong, Tyler."

"I left you

alone."

"I should be able to be alone at a party. The fact that I can't be is not your
fault, it's Warrens."

"But if I had just stayed by your side then none of this would have
happened. That stupid pong game wasn't even fun! It would have been ten
times better if I had at least asked you to come with me. Instead I just
walked away."

At this point he's more talking to himself as he runs his hands through his
hair and tugs out of frustration. I step forward and place a reassuring hand
on his chest as I gently shake my head.

"Don't blame yourself."

"How can I not? I just left you there! I was upset when you said you didn't
want to dance and I was already jealous watching you with West all night. I
guess I thought you wouldn't want to come play pong and wanted to be by
yourself while you waited for him, especially since that stupid fucking stunt
I pulled with the whistle."

I furrow my brow and take my hand off of his chest at his mention of
jealousy. His eyes bore into me, a mix of guilt and something deeper that
I've been seeing more and more of lately.

"You don't have to explain yourself. I'm not mad at you, and this doesn't
change the way I feel about you."

I add in the last sentence to imply that my feelings for Tyler

as a friend

haven't been altered, but that must have been a very poor choice of words.

Because seconds later, Tyler is kissing me.

His hands come up to my cheeks and he pulls my face to his, pressing his
lips firmly on mine. We're the same height, so it was easy for him to just
take a step forward and kiss me. However, I barely let the kiss last more
than a second before I abruptly pull away and stare wide-eyed at him.

"Tyler!"

I can't help it. The raspy sound flows past my lips before I can stop myself.
You'd think that after years of silence I would be able to keep my mouth
shut, but the dismay of Tyler kissing me must have had an override effect. I
didn't want anyone finding out before I could confirm my voice is here to
stay.

However, once again Tyler reads the situation wrong and instead of
heartbreak that I denied his kiss, his face fills with excitement and he laughs
breathlessly.

"Did you just say my name? Oh my God, your first word was my name!"

And then, as if I didn't push him away seconds ago, he pulls me back to him
and smashes his lips on mine again. His hands on my arms hold on tighter
and he makes it harder for me to back away, but I know he isn't meaning to.
That's simply due to his elated emotions right now, which makes me feel
even worse for planting my hands on his chest and shoving him back. His
eyebrows furrow when we part, confusion clear in his expression. I stare
back at him, mouth agape as I fumble for something to say. His mind works
quicker as he realizes his mistake and his confusion melts into heartbreak.

"That wasn't the first time you spoke, was it?" He asks quietly.

I regretfully shake my head. He drops his head as he shakes it and runs his
hand through his hair.

"I should have known. It was to West, wasn't it?"

I recoil slightly and find myself once again at a loss for words, but that's
answer enough for him. The heartbreak in his eyes doubles and he nods,
taking a step back.

"How did you know?"

I avoid trying to use my voice again. My throat is already in pain and I don't
want to make it any worse.

"Because he's always been the one there for you. He was there for you on
your mom's death anniversary, he was there for you the last time Warren
approached you at school, and he was there for you last night. Of course
he's the one who would help you find your voice."

A sting of guilt hits me for the way I reacted to West this morning. Tyler is
right. West

has

always been there for me, and I repaid him by forcing him to leave after he
was at his most vulnerable state when telling me about his past.

Tyler sighs deeply and closes his eyes for a few moments as he collects his
thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I just- I really like you, Raine. Like,

really

like you. I guess I have no one to blame but myself that you don't feel the
same way though, right?"

"Tyler...I'm sorry. I never thought you felt that way about me. I always
thought we were just close friends, nothing more."

"No, you shouldn't be sorry. I constantly slept around because I didn't

realize how much I liked you. But then West came and you two started
getting close, and seeing you around him made me realize how much I care
for you. I hated seeing the way you two look at each other. I realized how
badly I wanted you to look at me that way."

West's face dances in my mind and sends more anguish to my heart. So

much has happened in the past 24 hours, but what happened with West is
easily the thing on the forefront of my mind. I know West and I have
feelings for one another- I know how deeply I care about him- and that
makes it hurt even more. This whole time I've felt like I need to forgive
West, but will he forgive me for treating him the way that I did?

"I'm sorry,

" I sign, because what else can I say?

Tyler runs his hand through his hair yet again and sighs. He glances behind
us and at the gloomy sky, shaking his head.

"I should probably go...I just wanted to come by and apologize for leaving
you alone last night. I didn't plan on coming here and kissing you and I'm
really sorry."

"I don't want this to ruin our friendship."

He chuckles and forces a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Then let's not let it. As long as you're happy, I'll be okay just staying
friends."

I stare back at him before I step forward and hug him tight. He holds me
carefully but emotionally, burying his face into my shoulder. I feel guilty
for how badly I wish this was West and not Tyler.

"As for your voice...you're still using ASL," Tyler points out as we pull
apart.

After his confession, I had momentarily forgotten about my earlier outburst.

"Please don't tell anyone. I don't know if my voice is going to stay yet and I
don't want to get anyone's hopes up."

"Your secret is safe with me. And also..." he says, scratching the back of his
neck, "could we also keep this moment between the two of us? I don't feel
like getting my ass kicked by West or ridiculed by the others."

I chuckle slightly from the humor he forced into his tone and I nod.
"Your secret is safe with me," I whisper because that's all my voice can
handle right now.

He smiles softly at me, but I can't miss the sorrow poorly hidden in his
eyes. Then he puts his hands deep into his jacket pockets and walks back
down the steps towards his car. I stand in the doorway, letting the cold air
whip around me as more rain starts falling. I hug my body as I watch Tyler
drive away and West invades my mind.

Tyler was right. West has always been there for me. He's been able to get
me to open up, to trust, and has been there for me at every point in our
friendship. When Tyler hugged me, I wasn't surprised when I longed for
West's arms instead. And with how wrong it felt when Tyler kissed me...I
know even better now how much I care about West and how deep my
feelings go. I need to see him, to apologize, and to tell him my story.

---

1/5/2021 - This was an insanely long chapter which is part of the reason it
took me so long to write. Like I said at the beginning, it took me 3 days to
write this when it usually takes me only a couple of hours. What did you
guys think? I know it was very important for Raine to realize that the way
she handled things with West could have been better, so I hope I got that
across here.
Chapter Thirty One (Edited
1/17/2021)
1/17/2021 - Hi everyone! Another completely rewritten chapter...hope you
enjoy! And thank you

Wanderlust_writes

for the cover! This is the chapter I think everyone has been waiting for ever
since the book started ;)

Fight For Her is so close to being released! March 9th is the big day,
and if you go to my profile you can find my announcement with various
links to pre-order your own copy! (One with free, worldwide
shipping!!)

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty One

I toss and turn in my bed, trying my hardest to find a comfortable position

to fall asleep in despite being buried underneath an abnormal amount of
pillows and blankets. Dad was convinced that with the temperature
dropping below freezing tonight, I would get too cold and insisted that it
wouldn't be good for my throat, so he added two blankets on my bed as well
as a few pillows to keep me warm. My feet get tangled in my sheets and
they painfully wrap around my pinkie toe of my left foot, tugging it away
from the rest of my toes as I shift to lay on my side. And at the same time,
one of my pillows decides to fall down onto my face in an attempt to
smother me. With a huff, I throw my blankets and pillows off of me and
scowl at the darkness surrounding me.

I throw a few of the pillows onto the floor around my bed, toss a blanket off
as well, and lay back down to try and sleep. Thirty minutes later, I'm still
wide awake. There are too many things floating around my head; Warren,
West, and how hungry I am since Dad never really made dinner tonight.
Finally, I sit up out of bed, grab my phone, turn on my flashlight, and tear
my closet apart as I search for a long-forgotten childhood stuffed animal
that used to bring me comfort when I couldn't sleep. I've never felt the use
for him since, not even the weeks after that fateful night freshman year... I
was too afraid to taint any innocent memory and my childhood stuffed
animal was the poster child of innocence. However, after the last 24 hours,
Mr. Buttons is much needed.

Mr. Buttons is a light blue, plush Narwhal with velvety fur (yet no
buttons...good job with the name, baby Raine) that my Dad picked out for
me before I was born. He was convinced I was going to be a boy, so the
blue ocean animal seemed perfect. However, when they discovered I was
going to be a girl, instead of returning the sea creature for something
society deemed as more girly, they decided to test their luck and give it to
me anyways. I slept with it every night up until I hit middle school and was
convinced that sleeping with your baby toys wasn't 'cool.' Now, Mr. Buttons
is a ghost of what he used to look like. His light blue plush fur has turned
rather gray after years of intense, toddler cuddles, and his horn has become
droopy.

Nonetheless, hugging him to my body does provide a small sense of

security as I close my eyes and dream of being a little kid again. Back when
Mr. Buttons was freshly blue with a pointy horn, perfect to annoy Toby with
every morning at breakfast.

Yet I still can't sleep. Dad and I worked all evening on the home-remedies
he was prescribed by various doctors to help with my voice, and by the end
of the night the strain on my throat was too much. Our hard work seems to
be paying off, though. By the time we called it a night, I was able to speak
full sentences with little to no pain coming right away. Of course, all of that
strain has caught up to me now and I've constantly been reaching for the
water bottle sitting on my nightstand. And, as exhausted at my body is, I
suppose my mind is wide awake; which should really be no surprise
considering everything that has happened.

West is back on my mind. Oh, who am I kidding; West never left my mind.
The broken look in his beautiful brown eyes has haunted my dreams (if you
can even call them that since I never technically fell asleep). I'm so used to
seeing those same eyes lit with mischief or laughter, but I never want to
have to see the pained sadness again. And to know that I'm the one who
caused it...it hurts, and I'm extremely conflicted.

I still have anger towards West and his actions, and that's completely
justifiable. I put all of my trust in him only to have it seemingly thrown
back in my face as if to say "take it back, I don't want it!" Or, at least that's
how it felt in the moment. After hours to cool off and reassess, I can open
my eyes a little wider and try to see his side of things. In the moment, I was
still trying to calm down from the events of the party; still trying to wipe
away the filthy feeling of Warren's hands all over me and his repulsive
breath on my face. And my way of clutching onto safety was to clutch onto
West. My emotions were heightened after everything and it was just poor
timing to tell me a confession like that.

That doesn't mean I'm any less hurt by what he did. He still knew my secret
and never told me, and if that isn't enough to upset me, he threatened to tell
the school. I know Toby said to trust West and that it's clear he never would
have followed through with the threat, but the sheer fact he used it to any
sort of advantage still hurts. Warren is my demon to deal with. I've done it
for the last three years and I didn't need West to try and play the hero. But, I
know it wasn't right of me to make West leave without giving him a fair
shot at explaining himself. I need to hear his side of things now that I have a
clear head; because our conversation earlier is becoming jumbled in my
mind and I can't recall the specific words he said. Only my angry responses.

I toss Mr. Buttons to the side and reach for my phone that's charging on my
nightstand, cringing away from the brightness until it auto-checks itself and
flies down to a dull glow to contrast the darkness in my room. 1:37 A.M. I
feel like I've been tossing and turning for half the night, but in reality it's
only been an hour and a half.

My eyes drift from the white numbers at the head of my screen to the
picture below. It's of me and West, believe it or not. Alyse was sneaky with
her photography skills one night and snapped it when we were all hanging
out at my house; West and I are sitting side by side on the couch with his
arm draped across the back, practically around me with the way I'm leaning
into him. I'm signing something to him and his face is pulled into a cute
look of puzzlement as he tries to follow along. After my frustrated outburst
earlier today about how he can't keep up with my signs, maybe this should
make me sad. Instead, it makes me grin when I notice the stern look of
concentration on his features. There's a reason he picked up ASL so quickly;
he never gave up when my lessons got too hard. He was determined to learn
as much as he could every time I sat down to teach him.

Alyse sent it to me directly after taking it, trying to be discreet but failing to
realize that my phone was sitting face up on my lap. The ding of her text
stole both mine and West's attention away from my ASL and down to my
phone. I've never seen him smirk so damn much than those few minutes
where he tried to take my phone to look at the picture with Alyse's caption
saying

"could you two be any cuter?"

He made it my wallpaper and I planned to change it immediately, but he

kept my phone from me for the rest of the night so I never got the chance.
And, even after everyone left, I never changed it back.

I sigh deeply and roll back over with my phone, resting it down as I pull
Mr. Buttons back into my arms and snuggle my cheek into his once soft
plush. It's nowhere near as silky or smooth as it was back when I was a kid,
and the warmth it once provided doesn't have the same effect anymore
either. Or maybe I'm comparing him to the warmth that West gave when he
took over Mr. Buttons' job last night and stayed with me to ensure I could
fall asleep. I don't think anything can even come

remotely

close to the safety and security I feel when he hugs me, and when he looks
at me with those big, brown eyes...it stirs something in my stomach that
makes my entire body flood with a sense of comfort I don't think I'll find
anywhere else. I don't want to find it anywhere else.

I shift onto my back and stare at my ceiling. I wonder what West is doing
right now. Was he able to fall asleep? Did he go home and act like nothing
happened to make sure Libba and Casper didn't worry? Did she see right
through his tough-guy act and pester him to tell her the truth, lecturing him
about keeping my secret, well, a secret from me? Is he staring at his phone's
wallpaper that holds the same photo, thinking that I hate him?

I look at my wallpaper again; at the picture of the two of us that makes my

heart pang. Can I wait until morning to talk to him? Without letting myself
overthink my actions, I unlock my phone and find his name in my texts.

Me:

West, are you awake?

I suppose it's selfish of me to text him in the middle of the night as though
nothing happened between us earlier; with nothing but a mere 'hey, u up?'
text in essence. But I can't hold off until morning. All I can think is what he
must be thinking and I want to talk to him before either of us can spiral too
far into our minds. And, as though he's in his room doing the same as me
and staring at his phone, he texts me back almost immediately.

East:

I'm awake...what's wrong? Are you okay?

I don't hesitate.

Me:

I can't stop thinking about this morning. We need to talk, West.

From how quickly he texts back, I know he doesn't hesitate either.

East:

I'm on my way.

---

Pacing back and forth in my room with my almost empty water bottle in
hand, I go through my speech for the umpteenth time in my head. West
should be here in the next few minutes. I just hope that the work my Dad
and I put in all night to help secure my voice will be enough for me to get
through my story to West.

I don't know exactly what I'm looking for him to say when he gets here. I
don't know the magic remedy of words that will patch up the holes he left in
my heart this morning or what he can say to reinforce the breaking wall of
trust. All I know is that I need to hear him out with a clear mind and that
he's too important to me for me to give up on him.

However, a few minutes go by and West still doesn't show up. I stop pacing
and reach for my phone, hidden among the dark mess of pillows and
blankets on my bed. When I tap the screen, I expect a text from him saying
that he changed his mind and doesn't want to come all the way out here in
the middle of the night to see me. And if he did text that, could I blame
him? For starters, it's only 18 degrees outside and is well after 2 o'clock and
second, does he even want to see me after the way I treated him this
morning? My screen lights up and shows nothing but the picture of the two
of us. No text, and somehow that makes it worse. For all I know, he fell
asleep after replying to me.

I sit on my bed, feeling it shake slightly from how dejectedly I sat down.
With hunched shoulders, I hold my phone in my hands and stare blankly at
the screen waiting for some sort of sign that he's still on his way to me. Ten
more minutes go by and still nothing. I know the drive isn't longer than
twenty minutes, and we are nearing forty. The numbers on the screen
change from 2:20 to 2:30 and continue on; still no sign of West.

Finally, I hear a light knock at the front door. I glance down at my phone
again, expecting a text from West to let me know he's here, but there's
nothing there. I know it's him though, so I rise from my bed and make my
way to my bedroom door. But then I stop. I was anxiously awaiting his
arrival, but now that he is actually here I find myself too afraid to face him.
He could barge in and start yelling at me for the way I acted, or he could
say the opposite of what I need and the cracks in my heart could split open
even more.
I'm only pulled out of my ridiculous thoughts when I hear a different set of
footsteps down the hallway and I quickly open my door. I see my Dad,
wrapping his robe around his pajamas to hide from the chill in the air,
walking down the steps. I hear a string of curse words under his breath,
muttering about who the hell would knock on their door in the middle of the
night. I didn't even think that West's arrival would wake anyone else, but I
suppose my Dad is a lighter sleeper than I thought. Panicked that he will
turn West away, I follow after him and reach the top of the steps just in time
to see him swing the door open.

West stands on the other side, looking handsome as ever despite the way his
hair is messed up from his lack of sleep. From here I can see the darkening
circles under his eyes, his reddened nose from the winter air, and his pajama
pants;

Spongebob

themed. I can't help but smile. Casper must have gotten them for him at
some point and I find myself admiring him even more for the fact he's not
ashamed to wear them. He's the only guy I know that could still look so
authoritative, so strong and powerful, with something so childish on.

"West? What the hell are you doing here, kid?" Dad asks, voice groggy with
sleep.

West throws his hands in his jacket pockets, visibly shivering from the
freezing air since Dad hasn't stepped aside to let him in. The chill is
blowing past the open door and into the house, reaching me where I stand at
the top of the steps in nothing but pajama shorts and one of Toby's t-shirts
that's way too large for me.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake anyone up."

"Well, knocking on the door at nearly 3 o'clock in the morning would wake
anyone up. What are you doing here?"

"My phone died on my way here. Otherwise I would have just texted Raine.
She asked if I could come and talk."
Dad stares at him for a few moments and then runs his hand over his face as
he sighs. "Let me get this straight. Raine, who didn't even wake up to come
down here and open the door, supposedly texted you in the middle of the
night to just... come over and talk the same day you left her crying on the
floor?"

That makes both West and me wince. He drops his eyes to the ground and
suddenly his strong presence drops to one of shame.

"I never meant to do that, sir. But she

did

text me. I promise I'm not just randomly showing up on your doorstep."

"So, you drove over here in the middle of the night just because she texted
you?" Then he pauses and glances behind West, nose turning the same
shade of red as West's as he exposes it more to the cold air. "Where's your
Jeep?"

West follows Dad's line of sight and sighs, shifting his hands further in his
jacket pockets.

"My car wouldn't start; I guess the battery is finally too old to deal with the
temperature drop. I Uber'ed here, but I didn't have enough money for the
whole fare and had to get dropped off a few minutes back. I walked the rest
of the way."

My heart pangs and guilt blankets my entire body, making me shiver from
more than just the air racing into the house from the open door. I should
have just waited until morning to text him, but of course I was yet again
being selfish and wanted him to come now.

That makes Dad jump into action and within seconds he practically pulls
West inside and shuts the door, blocking the cold out. "Are you crazy? It's
freezing out there! It's one thing to even think about driving over here so
late, but you
walked?"

West nods as he tries to get warm, taking his hands from his pockets to
breathe life back into them.

"Why?"

Dad exasperates, staring at West as though he's literally gone insane.

"Because she needed me."

Dad sighs and lifts a hand to his forehead, rubbing his temple with his
thumb.

"West, I don't even know if she's awake. And after a day as emotionally
exhausting as today, I don't think it's the best idea to go wake her and-"

I quickly bound down a few of the stairs to make my presence known, and
Dad cuts himself off from the sound of my feet on the creaky steps. Both of
their heads snap towards me, but I keep my eyes on West. His body
straightens when he sees me as though he forgot he was trying to warm up.
His brows furrow as he stares at me, guilt taking over his features as I'm
sure he thinks back to this morning.

"Raine? I didn't think you were up... Did you text him to come over?" Dad
asks.

Without taking my eyes off of West, I nod.

"And this couldn't wait until morning?"

I shake my head.

Dad sighs and shakes his head, lifting his hands slightly as if to say 'okay, I
don't get it but whatever.'

"Alright then. You two talk. I'm going to be in my room, which is right next
to hers by the way, if you need me. Come get me when you're done and I'll
give you a ride home West, okay?" He says, looking between the two of us.
We haven't broken eye contact, but we both nod to at least let him know we
heard him. He starts up the steps, West following, and I move back up to the
top step to be out of their way. I walk towards my room and go in with West
following after me. I gently push the door to shut it, but it stops and swings
back open due to Dad's hand darting out to it as he walks by and to his own
room.

Then it's just me and West. Standing an awkward distance away from one
another, neither one knowing what to do with our hands, how to stand, or
how to start the conversation. It's as though we are strangers standing here,
and I can't take the silence.

"I didn't mean to make you walk here," I say, my voice coming out tentative
and hoarse. "We could have waited until morning."

West's eyes widen slightly when I use my voice. I suppose he was expecting
it to disappear just like it had after I yelled his name at the party. Then he
shakes his head and takes a small step closer to me before he thinks better
of it and retreats to his awkwardly distant spot.

"I only had to walk for about ten minutes, it wasn't so bad."

I drop my eyes to the floor and fiddle with the hair-tie on my wrist. "I
just...I needed to talk to you, West."

"I know. I needed to talk to you, too. Sunshine...I am

so

sorry. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said all day, and you're right.
It wasn't fair of me to use your secret. I should

never

have done that, I'm sorry."

I meet his gaze again, flinching from the pain in his beautiful brown eyes. I
swallow hard, praying that my voice will hold out for everything I need to
say tonight.
"Why didn't you tell me that you knew sooner?"

"I didn't know how. There were a few times I wanted to come clean, but I
was scared to lose you. I was scared to ruin what we have between us. I
never felt like there was a

right

time, and trust me I was looking for one, but when one never came... I
thought maybe it was best to wait and let you tell me on your own terms.
But then, after last night, I knew I had to admit it."

I close my eyes for a few moments, hanging onto his every word and
forcing myself to actually listen instead of clamming up and getting
defensive. And, instead of feeling anger bubble up inside of my chest, I feel
my heartbeat stay steady. I understand. How do you tell someone you know
their darkest secret?

"Toby told me about the stuff you said to Warren that day in the hall," I
admit.

West's eyes widen slightly and I put it together that he never knew Toby
overheard him.

"What did he tell you?"

"Everything you were trying to tell me this morning. That you were only
trying to protect me and never would have gone through with the threat."

He instantly shakes his head, eyes pleading that I actually do believe that.

"I swear, Raine. I would

never

have told a single soul. Doing that would have meant losing you. Hell, even
threatening it might have still meant losing you," he admits, voice nearly
catching at the end.
The breath gets sucked out of me when I notice the glossy tears in his eyes.
Suddenly, all I want to do is close this distance between us and throw
myself into his arms and reassure him that he hasn't lost me. Before I can
even move a muscle though, he continues.

"I just thought that if I told that to Warren, then he would leave you alone.
And as for the part that was for my benefit... that wasn't my goal when I
started talking to Warren that day. All I planned on doing was keeping him
away from you, and after I did that, I remembered that my own ass was on
the line and threw myself in there. I know that's no excuse and it was wrong
nonetheless, but I need you to know that

you

were my first intention."

"I believe you," I instantly say, knowing that it's what he needs to hear and
knowing that it's true.

His entire body seems to let out a sigh of relief, his tense muscles finally
beginning to relax. He still seems cautious, aware that I still have more to
say, but the hopeful glint in his eye would be impossible to miss.

"I-I was just so emotional and everything felt like it was crashing down on
me. I felt like the trust I gave you was being broken and in result I refused
to let myself see that you wouldn't have told the school what happened to
me. But the whole thing..."

I trail off, trying to collect my thoughts. I reach for my water bottle and
down the last few swallows inside, coating my throat to prepare for the next
thing I'm about to say. Even earlier with Dad, I didn't talk this much. We
kept it to a few sentences at a time, and I drank different concoctions in
between to soothe the ache in my throat. I'm trying to ignore the burning,
but it's becoming more and more difficult.

"The whole thing made me feel like you just wanted to fix me, West. I
never want to feel like that. That's the whole reason things didn't work out
with Kyle. He wanted to be the one to fix my voice; the one who could
finally get the mute girl to talk. Aside from Alyse, Toby, Ty, and Gray...most
people seemed to just want to try and fix some part of me. And then with
you, I finally felt like I wasn't some girl that had anything wrong with her. It
felt like you saw me for me. But when you told me you knew the broken
side of me, our entire relationship got called into question in my mind.
Every moment between us suddenly felt different, like it all was simply an
attempt to help the girl you found out was raped."

Then, before I can go on, West takes a few confident strides towards me. I
gasp when he stands directly in front of me, head lowered so that I can't
avoid his serious gaze. When he speaks, his voice comes out strong and
determined, so much different from the pleading, tentative tone he was
using earlier.

"Let me stop you right there. Raine, I told you that from the very beginning
I wanted to get to know you for you. I never tried to fix you because I never
saw you as broken."

"But then you learned about the court case and-"

"And nothing. That didn't change a single thing aside from make me want
to be there for you. You aren't broken, you are so incredibly strong and
learning about the court case only opened my eyes to that. It made me
admire you even more, Sunshine."

Tears spring up behind my eyes and make them glossy. West notices
immediately and his brows furrow worriedly. I shut my eyes and drop my
head as I shake it slightly.

"I'm sorry, West."

"Hey," he says gently, which makes me open my eyes and meet his gaze.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Sunshine."

"Yes, I do." I say, barely avoiding cringing hard at the pain it causes in my
throat, "You opened up to me, told me about your past, and you were honest
with me about knowing my story. And I repaid you by kicking you out and
accusing you of so many things. It wasn't fair of me."
West shakes his head. "I deserved some of it, Raine. I knew you would be
upset with me, but that was a risk I had to take because I couldn't keep it
away from you forever. And I don't know your story. I only know what
some idiots in juvie told me about a court case."

And then, with a pounding heart, I swallow away my fear and take a subtle,
deep breath. The way he worded it this morning rings in my head, so I
choose the same words he had.

"If you're willing to listen, then I'm ready to tell you my story."

---

1/17/2021 - I wanted to include her story in this chapter, but I was already
nearing 5k words and I didn't want it to become ridiculously long. But, the
good news for y'all, is that that means I updated not one, but TWO
chapters!
Chapter Thirty Two (Edited
1/17/2021)
1/17/2021 - Yes, I made sure to update these chapters back to back!
Enjoy...I believe this is the chapter everyone has been waiting for since you
started reading ;) Also, a huge thank you to Kailaaa_ann for creating the
attached cover! I think it's one of the most unique covers I have received :)

Trigger warning:

This chapter is going to dive into her story of what happened with Warren,
so please skip that if you need to. When you see the

, that will be the end of Raine's story about what happened with Warren and
you'll know you're safe to read on!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Two

West's eyes widen, his shock not easily masked. He stares at me, calculating
for a moment or two to make sure I'm not just saying that and that I really
am ready to tell him everything. But, of course I am.

This is the man who wanted to learn ASL just to get to know me. This is the
man who showed me his music and has brought mine to life. This is the
man who got me to open up about my parents and comforted me at my
absolute worst times. This is the man who somehow earned my trust and
my heart and held both delicately; and the man who walked to my house in
the freezing cold in the middle of the night to ensure both my trust and my
heart are still his to hold.

I would be crazy not to tell him about my past; crazy not to see that I can
trust him with everything because what I thought was him breaking that
trust was really just him developing it even more. He told me he knew my
secret when he easily could have kept that to himself. He only threatened
Warren with my intentions at heart.

"Of course I'm willing to listen, but you don't have to say anything if you
don't want to," he reassures. "Just because I blabbed that I know about the
court case doesn't mean you have to tell me your story. I want you to do that
when you're ready."

"I am ready."

With another deep breath, I hug my arms around my body and will my
earlier speech back to my mind. I knew all along that I was going to tell
West tonight, but I had to hear what he had to say before I could bring
myself to do it. Now that he's explained his earlier actions and I could listen
with a sound mind, I know I'm ready to open up to him even more.

I haven't told anyone my whole story. I couldn't tell my Dad or Toby. That
would have made them hurt more and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Alyse
has heard a lot, but even she doesn't know the level of horror I went
through. I don't know if I should tell West every little detail either, but
looking into his eyes right now- clearly showing that I have his full
attention and that he will stick by my side no matter what I say- I know that
I can tell him everything.

"It was the first party I went to. Alyse and I were just freshman and Toby
was only a sophomore, but he had been invited by some seniors and offered
for us to tag along. I was hesitant since we weren't invited by the hosts and
we were just measly little freshmen. But then, Toby told me that his best
friend, Warren, was going too and I easily changed my decision and decided
to go."

West stays silent, hanging onto every word I say. His posture does stiffen
upon learning that Toby and Warren were once best friends and for the fact I
just alluded to having a minor crush on him.

"I did have a crush on Warren. He was my brother's best friend, cliché
right? He just...he was at the house all the time, loved to pick on me and
tease me, and every now and then he'd throw in a compliment that made me
think he actually liked me, too."

My voice nearly gives out. But I don't know if it's due to the strain on my
throat, or the long buried memory of liking Warren resurfacing. I hate to
admit that I did have a crush on him. It was something Nathaniel Snow
capitalized on during the trial, using it to attempt to prove that I wanted
Warren. He made me look like a liar on the stand. Made me admit that ever
since Toby and Warren became friends in elementary school, I had a huge
crush on him. A childhood crush

must

mean that I wanted to be forced into a room to have sex with him, right?

"Sunshine?"

I shake my head and snap out of my thoughts, focusing on West's concerned

eyes.

"I'm okay, sorry. Anyways, when I found out that Warren was going, I
agreed to go. Can you believe that? The guy who ruined my life was the
whole reason I went to the party in the first place..." I trail off, clenching my
jaw at how stupid I was.

Any speech I planned is being thrown out the window now that I'm actually
in the moment, telling West everything. I haven't told anyone this story in
nearly three years, and doing so now is reminding me of things I wanted to
keep hidden away...such as the feeling that this was all my fault for stupidly
liking Warren as more than a friend.

"You couldn't have known at the time," West says gently, pulling me back to
the present again.

"I should have."

Before West can say anything else, I continue on.

"So, I went to the party and, much to my surprise, Warren hung out with me
all night. He had never given me his full attention like that and I remember
feeling so special. He made sure I always had a drink in my hand and was
pressuring me to finish a cup-full every few minutes. At the time, I thought
that was his way of looking out for me, you know, to make sure I blended
into the party and didn't look like a freshman among so many
upperclassmen. Now...now I realize how stupid and naïve I was. He just
wanted to make sure I was drunk enough to be stumbling around and
needing him for support."

My eyes are trained tightly behind West, staring into nothingness as I recall
everything that happened that night. From my peripheral vision, I can see
the way West's hands clench into fists and the way his entire body goes
rigid. But he doesn't say anything and forces himself to stay calm.

My throat has become gritty with the threat of tears mixed in with an
already painful dryness. It's becoming very difficult to keep this going, but
I've already come this far and I know I can't stop now.

"It didn't take too long for me to be extremely drunk. It didn't help that I
was just a freshman and had never really even had alcohol before. I had no
tolerance, I was probably a goner after just that first cup of jungle juice. I
remember feeling dizzy, disoriented, everything felt like it was spinning.
Warren acted like he was extremely concerned and when Toby ran over
after I fell into some senior couple, Warren reassured him that he could take
care of me."

I drop my gaze to the floor and subconsciously fiddle with my hair-tie as

my chin quivers. I open my mouth to keep going, but a small sob beats my
words. Instantly, I feel West's warm hands rest gently on my arms. I lift my
eyes to his and see the anguish in his own eyes from hearing my story.

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."

"I need to," I whisper past my tears, staring into his eyes for the strength I
desperately need.
West rubs his thumbs up soothingly on my arms which slowly but surely
makes my tears retreat. When my voice is able to surpass the threat of sobs,
I continue and West's hands drop from my arms. I avoid eye contact as I
begin again.

"He took me upstairs to one of the bedrooms. I was so disoriented that I

didn't know what was going on. My stupid, crush-idled brain thought he
was going to take me upstairs to sleep off the alcohol and cuddle me back to
health. B-but as soon as we got into the room..."

My voice fails me, catching on a near sob that stings my throat so badly that
I flinch hard. West reaches for my water bottle on my nightstand within the
second, but he deflates when he notices that it's empty.

"I'm okay," I whisper hoarsely.

I need to get through this now. If I don't, I don't know if I ever will. I
continue on, but now my voice is nothing but a throaty murmur.

"As soon as we got into the room, he practically threw me onto the bed as if
he couldn't waste any more time. Then he locked the door a-and started
taking his shirt off. The next thing I knew, m-my dress was being taken off
of me. I questioned him, cried for him not to do it, tried to struggle against
him, but I was so drunk that I'm sure it was barely a hindrance to him.
Every time I moved to kick him away, I just felt sick from the alcohol. I
was screaming, but the music downstairs was

so

loud and no one heard me. Then, with my dress off, I remember feeling the
prongs to my bra slicing into my back as he ripped that off too."

A single tear escapes and runs down my cheek when I shut my eyes tightly
to will away the memory of blood soaking my skin. I'm sure there's a small
scar right in the middle of my back from it.

Suddenly, West's hand is there to wipe the tear away before it gets past my
cheekbone. I open my watery eyes to meet his. Though his hand feels gentle
and reassuring, I can't ignore how tense it is. He's doing a good job at
masking his feelings on his expression, but his body language is revealing
how angry he is. I lean into his hand, reveling in the stability it provides.

"It wasn't too long after that that I blacked out," I say in a whisper with my
bottom lip quivering against my will. "W-we took him to court, but
Nathaniel twisted the story around entirely. He used my crush as consent to
the things Warren did to me, and it worked. Warren got off easy while I was
stuck looking like a liar, stuck in silence with no way to talk except for in
my dreams where I would scream at Warren to get away from me."

At this point, I don't think I have it in me to say anything else. My throat is

stinging and throbbing, and I'm not sure I can face anymore of that
nightmare. This is the most I've ever talked about it, and it's the first time
I've actually

spoken

it. I gauge West's reaction, but though his eyes are tight on me, I don't think
he's really seeing me. He seems lost in his own heated thoughts, if his set
jaw and flared nostrils are any indicator. His hand drops from my face and I
take a step back.

"Well say something," I manage to get out.

That snaps West out of his thoughts and he focuses back on me.

"What are you thinking?" I whisper.

He balls his hand into a fist. "That I shouldn't have held back at the party
and should have rearranged his ugly little face. That I should have beaten
him so badly he ended up in the hospital. That he should be rotting in a cell
right now."

I swallow back a lump in my throat as I watch West's face get redder and
redder as he thinks of all the things he should have done to Warren. I look
away and only now do I notice that I'm shaking. My knees feel weak and I
step back to steady myself, which catches West's attention. His anger almost
instantly melts away and he steps closer to me, close enough for me to
notice the delicate look in his beautiful brown eyes.

"I'm also thinking about how strong you are," he says softly, "about how
much you amaze me by still being able to smile and laugh despite having
had that happen to you. I'm thinking about how much I admire you for
being able to find your voice again, which is beautiful by the way. I'm
thinking about how much you inspire me, about how much you mean to
me."

My breath gets caught in my throat as he goes on, saying how sorry he is

for earlier this morning, how strong he thinks I am, how much I've come to
mean to him and how he never wants to lose me, and how grateful he is that
I told him my story. And as he continues, my admiration for him
skyrockets.

This

is

the man that I trust completely. This is the man that makes me feel safe and
secure. This is the man that has slowly dug his way into my heart and has
planted himself firmly inside. This is the man who made me feel like I
could break away from the chains that bound me. This is the man that I've
come to care deeply about and the man that I want.

He's still going on, repeating himself a few times to get his message across
for the way he feels about me. I want to say something and cut him off; to
say everything that's swirling around my own mind as I look into his eyes,
but I think my voice has about had it tonight. However, being trapped in
silence for three years, I learned something important: actions speak louder
than words. So, while he blabs on about strength and admiration, my eyes
drop down to his lips.

I don't hesitate.
In one fluid motion I take the tiny step needed to be closer to him, stand up
on my tiptoes, and kiss him. He was mid-sentence and my sudden, bold
action clearly surprises him, but he instantly kisses me back without pause.
His hand comes up to rest tenderly on my neck, underneath my jawline,
with his thumb resting on my cheek. It's an innocent kiss, but it is electrified
with passion from months worth of pent up emotions. His lips are slightly
chapped from his walk earlier in the freezing cold, yet they are still
undeniably soft and warm and make my body melt. This is what a kiss
should feel like; protected and adored with my heart beating faster from
excitement.

When we pull apart, our eyes flutter open and West has a tiny smile playing
at his parted lips. He keeps his hand gently on my cheek and searches my
face with that tiny smile, rubbing his thumb along my cheekbone.

"Yeah, it was better," he whispers, meeting my eyes once again.

I furrow my brows in question.

"Kissing you. It was even better than I thought it would be."

Despite my massive blush, I open my mouth to make fun of his ridiculously

cheesy line, but my throat is so dry that trying to speak feels like I
swallowed a thousand needles. I shut my eyes tight as I wince in pain, and
West's smile vanishes into a look of concern.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, trying to swallow away the dry feeling.

"Did you push yourself too hard?"

I open my eyes again and lightly nod. Suddenly, my exhaustion is catching

up to me and I know I have dark circles under my eyes.

West sighs, "Okay, come on. Let's get you some water...and I should
probably go get your dad to drive me home so that you can get some sleep."
As much as I'd rather we stay here, held in each other's arms, I know West
is right. It's probably nearing 4 in the morning now, and neither of us have
gotten any sleep. I can't even imagine how tired he must be after walking
half of the way here.

We pull apart and head towards Dad's room. The door is slightly cracked, so
I push it open expecting him to be sitting up reading or something. But
instead, he's passed out with the light on, snoring loud enough for me to be
shocked West and I didn't hear it in my room. We glance at one another as
though asking each other what to do, until I walk all the way inside and
shake him awake.

He grumbles something out and turns away from me, which causes me to
chuckle and shake him again.

"Mmm, what?" He asks, burying his face in his pillow.

"You asked me to let you know when I needed a ride home," West says
since my voice isn't ready to be used again.

"The couch is pretty comfy," Dad groans, still half asleep, "I'll drive you
back in the morning."

Then, his snores take over the silence in the room again and I stand straight
up. I glance over at West who shrugs, and we both silently leave the room,
shutting it behind us. We head downstairs after grabbing two of the pillows
from my bed and a blanket. West sets himself up on the couch while I
retreat to the kitchen and down a bottle of water, sighing in relief at the way
it coats and cools my dry throat. Hopefully, with some sleep, it will feel
better in the morning.

I pad into the living room with a second water bottle in hand for West just
as he finishes setting up his temporary bed on the couch.

"You know," he starts, looking down at his attire, "I never thought our first
kiss would happen while I was wearing

Spongebob
pajama pants. Had I known that was going to happen when I came over, I
would have at least changed into some manly sweatpants."

I chuckle, but my tiredness prevails and a yawn escapes me. West smiles
softly and walks over to me, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"You should get some sleep, Sunshine."

Another small yawn escapes me and I blush since it was right in his face,
but West just chuckles at me. He leans forward again, pausing before
touching my lips to allow me to pull away if I need to. But, of course, I
don't and I close the hair-length distance between us and kiss him sweetly.

"Goodnight, Raine," he says as we pull away.

"Goodnight, West,"

I sign.

And, as I head upstairs and snuggle under my covers, despite the way
everything seemed to work out I can't help but think that things are far from
over. I still have to deal with Warren at school and face the fact that he
attacked me again. West still has the threat looming over his head of Warren
telling the school why he was sent to juvie. I still have to manage to keep
my voice and strengthen it. For now, however, I allow myself to bask in the
comfort that things are okay and fall asleep.

---

1/17/2021 - So that only took me 3 days to write...lol. I have a feeling you

guys are pretty happy right now! But, like Raine said, things are far from
over and I have more in store for you guys!
Chapter Thirty Three (Edited
1/30/2021)
1/30/2021 - Just a reminder that the rest of the book is going to be rather
different from the original! I

told you guys before that I didn't plan on relying so heavily on the Tyler vs.
West jealousy arc.

The major plot point I was leading up to has clearly already happened
(West knowing Raine's secret), but I have a few small things I want to alter
as well. I will be posting the OG story soon.

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Three

Fortunately, I was able to drift to sleep. I would say Mr. Buttons did the
trick, but I think it was more so the fact I mentally projected the warmth
from West's arms into Mr. Buttons and imagined that the stuffed toy was
truly West.

My lips are still buzzing from his kiss. The second his lips touched mine, I
felt it all the way to my toes. His lips were so soft, so smooth, and they
warmed my entire body despite the coldness that stuck to them from his
walk here. My senses were overtaken by him; the delicious yet faint scent
of firewood that was stuck to his clothes. Everything about it was perfect.
Even the feel of his tattered Spongebob pajama pants against my legs had
me melting.

My eyes snap open. Why am I laying here in my bed when West Love is
downstairs alone on my couch? I throw my covers away from my legs and
goosebumps dot my skin as the cold air hits me, so I drape a blanket over
my shoulders and quietly tiptoe out of my room and down the steps, Mr.
Buttons clutched between my hands. Despite how quiet I tried to be, West
stirs as soon as I step foot into the living room and sits up, running a hand
through his hair as his eyes adjust to the darkness.

"Sunshine?"

Oh

God,

his sleepy voice is so deep and coarse that it makes my knees shake. I
shuffle closer, pulling the blanket tighter around me since it's much colder
downstairs. I wonder if the one blanket I gave West was enough.

"Are you okay?" He asks, leaning up on one arm as he faces me. When I
don't instantly respond, his concerned expression flits to one of amusement
as he eyes the stuffed toy in my hands. "You always sleep with a stuffed
Narwhal, Sunshine?"

I bite my lip sheepishly. "Do you always sleep in Spongebob pajama

pants?"

He grins, "Now I will, since they brought me enough luck to have you kiss
me

and

sneak downstairs to sleep by my side."

My eyes zero in on his exposed arms, freed from his leather jacket that's
draped over the back of the couch. Now he's wearing a wrinkled, white V-
neck. I squeeze Mr. Buttons a little tighter and drag my gaze back to West's
amused eyes, fumbling in my mind for some excuse to use as to why I'm
standing in front of him in the dead of the night so that I can wipe that
smirk off his face.

"Or did you have a nightmare?"

Ah. That's a good, believable excuse.

I quickly nod. Too quickly I suppose, from the knowing glint in West's eye.
He shifts so that his back is flush against the cushions of the couch, leaving
enough room for me to come lay with him. His blanket is only covering his
legs at this point, but he makes no motion to lift it back up.

I shuffle toward his open arm, settling into my half of the shared cushions
and resting my head on half of the pillow. I lay facing West and shyly
snuggle into his chest so that my butt doesn't hang off of the couch. His arm
tentatively rests around my waist, over the blanket, only relaxing when I've
fully cuddled into his warmth. I drink in his familiar scent; woody, like a
warm, burning campfire that keeps you safely hidden from the cold air. It's
amazing how secure he makes me feel.

"Your dad may kill us if he sees us in the morning," West murmurs as he

rests his chin atop my head. "Cuddling like this."

"We're under different blankets," I whisper, pleasantly surprised at the lack

of pain it causes my throat.

West's body rumbles as he lets out a deep chuckle. "Does that mean he can't
get upset with us?"

I nestle my nose against his chest. His body stiffens and then melts into the
feeling. His hand is absentmindedly rubbing little circles on the small of my
back as he holds me firmly to him so as not to let me fall off the couch. Mr.
Buttons is squished between us and his horn is digging into my stomach.
But I don't mind. I'm sure his plush fur is soaking up West's scent so that
when I'm having a rough night and need to find comfort in Mr. Buttons, I
won't have to try as hard to picture him as West.

God, you're being borderline creepy, Raine.

"I was hoping you'd come down here. I was one dream away from coming
upstairs to you," West admits quietly. "Maybe I should have, because this
couch is definitely not made for two people to lay side by side on it."

His chest vibrates with his chuckle and I laugh with him. His arm tenses as
I nearly slide off of the couch, further proving his point, and he pulls me
impossibly closer to him. Mr. Buttons horn digs further into my stomach,
but nothing could take me away from the euphoric feeling of being cuddled
so closely to West.

"I didn't want to startle you, though. So, I waited for you to come. I knew
you would, too."

"Why's that?" I whisper.

His voice comes out softer as he replies. "Because of the way you kissed
me... the way you looked at me when we pulled apart. It's the same way I've
looked at you since the first time you taught me sign language."

My heart skips a beat and then thuds faster against my chest, and I would be
incredibly embarrassed that West can feel it if his weren't doing the same.
And, as we both drift back to sleep, I catch the deeper meaning in his
words. He didn't just wait for me to come downstairs tonight. He has
patiently waited for me all along.

---

Distantly, I hear a gruff voice behind me that attempts to disrupt my

peaceful slumber.

"You know, when I said the couch was comfy, I was strongly implying that
you stay on it to

sleep alone.

"

Ignoring the distasteful voice, I shut my eyes tighter and snuggle deeper
into the safety and security of my pillow. I need to remind my dad to buy a
few more of these because somehow, they are incredibly warm and feel
almost lifelike.

"Uh, is that- When did he- Did I miss something?"

Another familiar voice threatens to wake me up and I grumble, pointedly
cuddling even further into my pillow and the scent of a campfire to show
them that I do not want to be woken up right now. However, suddenly the
pillow vibrates and a deep, husky chuckle fills my ears.

"I think we may have been caught, Sunshine."

My eyes snap open.

Those first two voices definitely belonged to my dad and Toby who both
are definitely standing behind me and are definitely staring at the rather
intimate position West and I are currently in.

With a squeak, I shove myself away from West. I do it so suddenly that

West's arm draped around my waist doesn't have time to react and I go
plummeting to the ground as I fall from the couch. I land on my back,
flailing my arms out but only getting them tangled in my blanket.

I blink and stare above me at my dad and Toby. Dad is standing there with
the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers, looking annoyed, and
Toby is staring between me and West with eyes full of shock. I tentatively
move my eyes to West who is now sitting up with a stupidly handsome
smirk as he looks down at me.

"You got a bit of drool caked by your lip there," he remarks, touching the
corner of his mouth.

My face gets hot as a blush takes over, and I quickly reach for Mr. Buttons
to wipe off the dried drool.

"You are walking on thin ice, West," Dad states.

West awkwardly chuckles behind me.

"Oh God, is that Mr. Buttons?" Toby groans, taking a small step back.

I pause and glance up at him. When we were kids, I used to terrorize Toby
with this thing. I would stick the horn in his eye, in his nose, and stab him
with it during every meal. I gave him a black eye on accident one time,
which I thought was quite funny but Mom and Dad didn't. I even used to
make Mr. Buttons do a deep, scary voice. I did it often enough that it
actually started to work and Toby would freeze in slight fear every time he
heard it.

"You're scared of a stuffed Narwhal, dude?" West asks from behind me.

Toby rubs his right eye as he recalls the tragic memory of the horn being
shoved into his eye when we were toddlers. "She used to terrorize me with
that thing."

"She did actually give him a black eye once," Dad adds.

"God, she even used to do this ridiculous voice..." he trails off, a shutter
going through his body.

West quirks a brow and sits back, crossing his arms over his chest with a
grin. "I would love to hear an impression of that."

Toby starts to mock the voice I used as a child, getting it horribly wrong. I
know I told myself to wait before letting anyone else know I'd regained my
voice, but hearing his terrible impression of Mr. Buttons makes me throw
caution to the wind. So, I sit up and lean my back against the couch, tucked
against West's legs, as I correct Toby.

"You have it all wrong, Toby. It was more like this..."

As I proceed to show off the voice, Toby cringes away and covers his ears
quickly with his hands. I can't help but bite back a grin. He's definitely
missing something.

"Yes, that's the stupid voice! I haven't heard that in so long and it is

not

bringing up any good memories, so Raine could you please- wait."

While Dad and West both smirk at Toby, his eyes shoot open and he stares
at me.
"D-do the voice again," he says hesitantly, as if he's scared that he imagined
the entire thing before.

I quirk a brow, "My voice or Mr. Button's voice?"

His eyes become glossy all of the sudden and his bottom lip nearly quivers.

"Again," he says, his voice barely a whisper.

I finally stand up from my spot on the floor and walk over to him, sending
him a small smile.

"Hey Toby."

In an instant, he throws his arms around me and hugs me close with shaking
arms.

"H-how did...how are you talking?"

I hug him tighter, "Something came over me after Warren...and then again
yesterday. I don't really know how, but I think it's here to stay."

He lets me go and smiles at me through his glistening tears, letting out a

laugh as he teases me.

"Well, you sound just as annoying as ever."

"I

will

make Mr. Buttons attack you again."

He laughs and hugs me again, then he glances at West and Dad.

"You two already knew?"

"I helped her through some remedies yesterday," Dad explains. "We wanted
to make sure her voice could strengthen before telling anyone else. Now
come on, Toby. We need to drop my car off before 9:30 or else they won't
change the oil today."

He and Toby head to the front door, but West perks up and clears his throat.

"Uh, Marcus what about-"

"You." Marcus says, stopping him as he points a finger at West with a stern
glare. "I will deal with you later. Different blankets or not, I didn't let you
stay the night so that you could sleep with my daughter."

Then, both he and Toby leave and the door shuts behind them. I glance at
West and see him scratch his head.

"I guess he forgot he was my ride home."

A short while later, West and I are in the kitchen as I brew myself a cup of
coffee. The whole time, West stays by me, but I can tell he's keeping his
distance and it confuses me. Even now, as I mix my creamer into my coffee
and stand with my back leaning into the corner of the counter, West is
standing an awkward length away from me. I feel his eyes on my lips, but
he's making no move to come any closer.

It was like this earlier, too. After Dad and Toby left, I sat back on the couch
next to West. He seemed comfortable, settling back with his arm around me,
but that's all. When I looked up at him, he seemed like he wanted to kiss
me, but waited until I lifted my own lips to his. Even last night he didn't rest
his arm around me until I made it clear that I wanted him to by cuddling
against him.

I sigh and stare into my coffee as the creamer swirls around, blending in
with the darkness to turn it into a light, caramel color. I take the spoon out
and tap it on the rim of the mug, twisting my back to place it in the sink
with a satisfying clunk. I eye West as I delicately lift the mug to my lips,
slowly taking a sip. He watches me carefully, darkening gaze stuck to my
mouth as I dart out my tongue to lick away the excess coffee on my bottom
lip. But he makes no move to come closer.
"West?"

He snaps his eyes to meet mine and clears his throat. "Yeah?"

"You know I'm not some fragile, glass doll that's going to break if you touch
it, right?"

His eyes widen in surprise and he shifts in his stance as he fumbles for a
response.

"I know that, Sunshine."

But there's still hesitancy in his expression. When his eyes drift to the bruise
on my cheek, it clicks.

"West, I don't want my story or what happened to me the other night make
you hesitant around me."

He straightens up and fumbles his hands into the pockets of his pajama
pants, shrugging slightly as he finds the words to say.

"I just...I don't want to do something to make you uncomfortable or-"

"I trust you."

He stops his sentence and stares carefully at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I'm not broken, remember? You don't have to think so hard about if it's
okay to touch me or kiss me. It's okay. I-I want you to."

My last sentence comes out sheepish, shy. I divert my eyes to my coffee

when I blush, unable to hold his gaze after his eyes widened slightly as
though he knows everything I'm trying to say, everything I'm feeling. I feel
the mood shift. Suddenly, he starts walking closer to me. Slowly, but with
purpose. No longer tentatively. I keep talking to distract my rapidly beating
heart.

"If you want to reach out a-and touch me, I want you to. If you want to kiss
me...I don't want you to overthink it. What happened to me doesn't mean
you can't react to how you feel with me."

Then he's right in front of me. His body is holding me against the counter,
so close that I have to pull my mug against my chest so that he's not
bumping into it. When I meet his gaze, my grip on it becomes tighter.
There's no more indecision in his eyes. No, all he needed was my approval
for all of that to go away and melt into exactly what he wants. Me.

With his eyes holding me captive, he reaches down and gently takes the
mug from my grasp, placing it on the counter behind us without breaking
our gaze. He rests his hands on both sides of me, leaning down just enough
so that our faces are level with one another. I swear I stop breathing as his
scent overwhelms me. His lips come closer to mine and I hitch my breath.

"So, what you're saying is, if I want to kiss you then I shouldn't hesitate?"

I nearly gulp at the sudden shift in his tone and I nod, unable to say
anything because I fear my voice will give me away more than my physical
reaction to him has.

He moves his lips to my cheek, grazing them over my skin and sending
electricity through my body.

"Kiss you where, Sunshine? Your cheek?"

His voice comes out husky and I bite my lip to hide the breathy gasp that
wants so badly to escape. He presses his lips gently against my skin, the
heat from his kiss making me bite my cheek. His lips skim over my skin,
leaving a trail of fire down to my jaw.

"Your jaw?"

Another kiss and I barely contain a shudder before he guides them to my

nose, and I can now see his smirk.

"Your nose?"

He leaves a hot kiss on my nose. Then his lips are hovering right over mine,
he stares longingly at them before he lifts his lidded eyes to mine.
"Or did you mean somewhere else?"

I know how badly he's teasing me and I want to play along. I want to pull
back a little to show that I can play this game like him, but I'm so sucked in
that all I can do is force myself to remember how to breathe. But West
overestimated his own ability to play this game and he can't wait for an
answer.

He presses his lips against mine eagerly, hungrily, as if this is what he has
been wanting ever since I gave him a taste last night. This is entirely
different. His hand moves from the counter to my body, smoothly dancing
from my waist and up my side, and then to my arm where his touch on my
bare skin sends a blaze over my body. He lightly bites my bottom lip when I
tangle my hands in his hair and pull his lips impossibly closer to mine. His
hand drifts from my arm to my neck where he slides it under my hair and
gently holds the back of my head as he kisses me breathless.

I've never been kissed like this. I've never been held so sensually, never had
lips on mine that show me how much they crave my taste. But West is
kissing me like I'm everything he's ever wanted and suddenly every thought
I've had that wasn't him fades from memory as he expertly works his lips
against mine.

But then a piercing scream floods both of our ears and we abruptly break
apart. West's eyes go wide with worry as he scans my face, fearing the
sound somehow came from me. But I look behind him to where the noise
actually came from and my face erupts into a massive blush when I see
Alyse standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at West and I with her
jaw dropped.

West furrows his brow and follows my line of sight, twisting his head
around to glance behind him. When he looks back at me, though, he can't
help but grin and leans back down to set a soft kiss on my now swollen lips.
He brings his lips right next to my ear so that only I can hear him, his breath
fanning across my cheek.

"Is that what you meant, Sunshine?"

He pulls back to see my blush that somehow got deeper and I shyly nod at
him. His grin deepens and he steps away, settling for standing next to me.
He crosses his arms over his chest while we both stare at Alyse. She finally
seems to be coming down from her shock when she starts bombarding us
with questions.

"Oh my

God.

I knew it! I

so

called this! Why didn't you tell me? How long has this been going on!"

I'm so caught up in my embarrassment of being caught in my first, and

rather intense, make out with West that I forget I was vocally challenged for
three years and respond to her.

"Just since last night!"

But Alyse is too shocked to realize that I just spoke and she keeps going.

"You kept saying that you didn't have a thing for him but

I knew it

from the very first day! I tried to tell you but

nooo,

I was the crazy one! You guys made fun of me because I watched How To
Lose A Guy In 10 Days, but who's the hopeless romantic now? And- hold
up. Rewind."

A small grin plays at my lips while I try not to laugh at her expression.

"West. Did your voice suddenly raise a few octaves or did she just..."
"Talk?" I finish for her.

Now Alyse screams for a whole different reason and bolts across the
kitchen toward me, tackling me into a hug.

"You just fucking talked!" She screams, jumping up and down with me
awkwardly in her arms.

West laughs at us from the side and I send him a glare as I'm manhandled
by my best friend, but he doesn't stop laughing. However, my glare drops as
I see the happiness in his eyes and I smile at him. His laughter subsides as
he smiles tenderly back.

Alyse finally lets me go but keeps her hands firmly on my arms as she
stares at me with a pointed look. "You have

so

much to tell me!"

I eye her outfit; namely the sweatshirt she's wearing that belongs to Toby
and I grin at her.

"Seems like you have so much to tell me, too."

Alyse blushes and starts to tug me into the living room but not before
yelling to West over her shoulder.

"Sorry to steal your girlfriend, but we need girl time to gossip about you.
I'm sure Toby has Robin League or whatever it's called ready to go in his
room for whenever he gets back. Go make yourself at home!"

---

1/30/2021 - I have a feeling you guys like this particular edit hehe. Also, I
have had a lot of people ask me when I will be edited again. Trust me, I
understand that you're frustrated that I don't stick to any schedule and I'm
sorry! But you guys have to understand that I am in college and have 2
jobs. I write in my free time, and when I'm always so busy that free time is
very scarce. Please continue to be patient with me! I appreciate each and
every one of you <3
Chapter Thirty Four (Edited
7/14/2021)
7/14/2021- Hey...how y'all doin? I know, I know. I was gone for a LONG
time. Thank you so much to those of you that patiently waited for me and
were so understanding. Having you all check in on me just to make sure I
was alright meant a lot. As for those of you who were...well, a little less
patient, I still appreciate that you love the story so much that you were that
eager to read more. So, here it is. Enjoy the update! You all deserve it!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Four

Within seconds, Alyse grabs my wrist and practically drags me to the living
room. I have to jog just to keep up, barely avoiding a blow to my hip from
running into the counter. I find some sort of athleticism and dodge the wall
as she whips me around the corner, having to jog just to keep up with her
pace. I hear West chuckling behind us before he retreats upstairs and leaves
us to catch up.

Alyse nearly jumps onto the couch, me ungraciously falling into the
cushions, and I meet her eager eyes and giddy smile mirroring my own
features.

"You go first!" We shout at the same time before erupting into childish
giggles.

"That is

so

weird!" She squeals, "I mean, in a good way of course, but your voice is so
weird!"

My giddy smile falls, causing her eyes to widen as she swiftly shakes her
head.
"No! Wait! Not weird, your voice is great! It's just so weird to hear it
again."

"Trust me, it's weird to use it again."

"Does it hurt at all?"

I swallow down the slight grittiness that seems to have made a home in the
back of my throat and shrug.

"It did. It does. But my dad found a lot of different homemade remedies that
have really helped. Enough about that, though." I add as I eye the dark
maroon sweatshirt she's wearing. "You and Toby? Has it finally happened?"

I've known for forever the way Toby feels about her, even if he refused to
admit it. It's about time I hear about the ship I've been rooting for since day
one. Within the second, Alyse's cheeks flush red and she tries to hide inside
of Toby's sweatshirt that is a few sizes too large for her petite body.

"Oh come on, don't get shy now," I tease, pulling at one of the sleeves that
extends well past her hands. "This is the same sweatshirt you came
downstairs wearing yesterday, only this time it isn't paired with a pair of
Toby's sweatpants."

However, I suddenly flinch as the context clues present a rather obvious

conclusion and I let the sleeve go.

"Did you two...you know?"

Alyse pulls the sweatshirt down to show her whole face, her answer
instantaneous. "No. He really did just offer me his clothes to sleep in and I
did stay in his bed. But to do that after what happened to you at the party...it
wasn't even a thought, Raine."

"Besides," she adds, bumping my shoulder with a little smile, "Do you
really think I would give myself to him, just like that?"

I laugh and reach forward, pulling at the strings so that the sweatshirt closes
partially around her face. "With how long you've been waiting for him to
come to his senses, I wouldn't be shocked."

Alyse pokes her head through with a gasp, holding back a laugh. "I'm not
that easy! We only talked."

I raise a brow, clearly unconvinced.

"Okay!

And

we kissed, but that's it! He was a crying mess and I was a shoulder to lean
on!"

"That's very romantic, Alyse."

She grabs the decorative pillow on the couch next to her and slaps me, the
thud of it hitting my shoulder mixing in with our laughter. These were the
moments I missed. Where my comebacks could be just as quick as they are
witty without the awkward pause for me to get all of the signs out. By that
point, half of the time the moment was over and my responses lacked their
luster. The only thing that kept them lively would be my facial expressions
or the way I moved my hands. Now, I can show my sarcasm and playful
banter through my tone and don't have to worry that my signs may be
misinterpreted.

I missed this. I just never realized how badly.

"You didn't let me finish," Alyse says. "It

was

romantic! We were there for each other. You mean everything to us and
after what had happened...well, we cried together until we both ran out of
tears. We leaned on each other's emotional strength and melted into one
another's vulnerability. At that point, there was no holding anything back
anymore. He told me everything he feels about me."

With a gentle smile, she continues.

"He told me that he couldn't keep hiding from how he felt about me, that he
couldn't keep hurting me. Said that he has always seen me as more than just
his sister's best friend, but that no matter how much he cared for me, he
didn't want to be selfish and take me away from you when you needed me
the most."

I don't know whether my heart drops down to my stomach to know I'm the
reason my ship didn't sail, or whether it skips a beat that Toby made me
such a priority that he put his real love life on hold. Then, I remember that
his way of putting his love life on hold was placing his attention on other
girls, and I instantly scowl.

"That's cute and all, but that is no excuse for-"

"No excuse for how much he slept around. Trust me, I'm way ahead of you
in feeling that way, but apparently he is too. He didn't mean to tell me that
as an excuse, he only felt that I deserved an explanation. He knows how
much he hurt me. I mean, it's not like I did the best job hiding my feelings.
But...he practically begged me to give him a chance. Said that I've always
been the only girl he truly wanted."

"So you did?"

"Yes and no. I didn't fall into his arms just because he finally told me what
I've always longed to hear."

I let my shoulders relax. Of course, I have always known that Toby and
Alyse would be endgame, but that doesn't mean I wanted her to give into
him just like that. Alyse has always and will always know her worth, it's
just about time that Toby realizes it too.

"He did hurt me. A lot. And all he really did was admit that he knew what
he was doing to me. So, while I wanted to jump up and scream with joy, I
also sort of wanted to punch him in the face," she says.

"I'm confused on where the kiss fits into this," I chuckle.

She waves her hand at me to shush me and I grin, pressing my lips together
so that she can continue.

"So I told him. I said: 'I kind of want to punch you.' And he said 'I really
want to kiss you.' And then he went in for the kiss at the same time I went
to punch his arm..."

My mouth drops. "Who connected first?"

She cringes, "I did. Kind of ruined the mood, too. He must have thought I
was joking because he was stunned."

A snort passes my lips once I see her laughing.

"What did he say?"

"He asked why I punched him! I was actually shocked at myself but quickly
came up with the excuse of saying that now he knows a part of the pain I
went through, and he went back to being apologetic real quick. He asked
me what he could do to have me give him a chance. I told him he had to
prove it to me; that he needed to prove he could be with me and only me."

Her eyes soften again and a small, loving smile fills her lips.

"He didn't even hesitate and agreed. Said he didn't want anyone else ever
again. Then he said he still really wanted to kiss me. To which I responded
that I still wanted to punch him, of course. He beat me to it this time
though, and if I had any doubts in what he was saying before...that kiss put
them to rest."

I could be snide and dance around the room singing 'I told you so!' But
then, Alyse would only turn around and do the same once I tell her all that
has happened between West and I. So, instead, I settle for a hug.

"I knew things would work out between you two," I say into the hug.

"He still has to prove that he can be with just me before they truly work out,
but I have high hopes," Alyse admits as we pull apart.
"Now, you better give me the play by play of, number one, how the hell you
got your voice back. And, number two, how you finally realized you were
lying to yourself by saying you didn't like West."

Alyse sits silently as I retell all of the events since she found me in the room
at the party cowering away from Warren who, in turn, was cowering away
from West. I avoid telling her West's story. I understand that is not for me to
tell anyone, and I admit to her how poorly I handled the news of him
already knowing my secret.

"So West really did help you find your voice," Alyse says softly when I
finish.

My eyes drift to the staircase and my heart warms knowing that just up the
steps, West is there.

"He did."

"Now for the real question: is he a good kisser?" Alyse asks, reaching her
hands out to take mine as if the fate of the world rests in my answer.

I squeeze her hands with a huge nod. "Oh my

gosh

."

"I knew it! I could tell when I walked in on you two in the kitchen."

"Alyse, I swear I was about to melt and turn into a puddle on the floor."

"The way he had you pinned against that counter! Oh Lord..." she says,
fanning herself.

"I was putty in his hands, and-"

"You weren't so bad yourself, Sunshine."

My body freezes along with Alyse's and I shut my eyes, silently cursing
myself.

"I forgot how easy it is for people to overhear you when you aren't speaking
with your hands," I mutter as I turn and look at the staircase.

West is standing halfway down it, leaning his forearms on the railing with
his signature smirk and beautiful eyes light with mischief, another smooth
remark already prepared. However, before either of us can say anymore, the
front door opens as Dad and Toby come inside. West keeps my gaze for a
few moments longer, my blush deepening by the second, before he walks
the rest of the way down the steps and makes his way over to the living
room and stands behind the couch.

The cold winter air rushes inside before Toby shuts the door, and as he turns
around to face the living room, his face lights up upon seeing Alyse sitting
next to me. He throws his coat onto the coatrack without a care in the world
as he makes his way over to her, unable to keep his smile away.

"Did you tell her?"

Alyse blushes slightly and nods, "I did."

"Even the part about the punch?"

"Especially the part about the punch."

As my Dad picks Toby's fallen coat off of the floor and places it on the rack
with his own, he shakes his head.

"Alyse, I don't know what you did to him, but he spent that entire car ride
deleting girls contacts off of his phone. One even called him and he refused
to answer, blocking her number when she wouldn't let up. Tammy, I think."

As Dad continues on about all of the numbers Toby spent the car ride
deleting, my body melts when I feel warm breath across my cheek and
West's campfire scent engulfs me. The back of the couch dips down slightly
as he leans his hands on it to whisper in my ear.
"And by 'not so bad yourself,'" West says, his lips brushing my ear, "I meant
that you

really

know what you're doing, Sunshine."

Goosebumps rise across my skin when West sets a warm kiss on the top of
my ear before pulling away. My face instantly goes hot and I try to
discreetly cover it up with my hands, trying to maintain normal breathing
after having West so close.

"You." Dad says, his attention suddenly shifting to me and West. "Come on.
It's time for you to head home."

I hear West sigh and make his way back around the couch to meet my Dad
by the front door.

"Between finding you two on the couch this morning and seeing you
whisper God knows what into her ear..." Dad mutters as he puts his coat on,
pulling gloves from the pockets.

West stiffens slightly and glances back at me, signing to me.

"Your Dad might kill me."

I stifle a chuckle as I stand up. "Let me come with you guys-"

"No." Dad says, opening the door. "I want to have a little chat with West.
You work on making that honey remedy the doctors told us about so you
don't put too much strain on your throat, sweetheart."

He heads to his car, but before West follows I quickly walk to the front door
to say goodbye. West steps closer to me, taking my hands in his with a
small smile.

"If you don't hear from me, it's safe to assume your Dad took me out to the
woods and left me for dead," he chuckles before dropping his head down to
set a soft kiss on my lips.
As he pulls away, he slips his hand out of mine to tuck some hair behind my
ear. His fingers softly trail down my jaw before he drops his hand back into
mine.

"You going to be okay?"

I nod, "I will be."

"You know, I'm happy that you two are together, but dude. Do you have to
kiss her right in front of me? That's my little sister. Finding you two cuddled
on the couch this morning was gross enough." Toby mutters from the
couch.

Suddenly Alyse jumps up from the couch with her jaw dropped and rushes
over to me.

"You spent the night cuddling with him?! You left that part out! That's it.
West, you leave and Toby, go upstairs! Raine, on the couch. We clearly still
have more to discuss!"

OoO

It takes my Dad an hour before he gets home, and in that hour Alyse made
sure I gave her every detail of my time with West. Apparently saying that he
stayed the night wasn't enough for her.

Now, though, she's upstairs playing some sort of video game with Toby and
I'm cuddled underneath the blanket West slept with last night. It still has his
scent on it, and I wrap it closely around my body as I replay the events
leading up to now in my mind. I picture the feeling of being held in his
arms and the feeling of his lips desperately kissing mine.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear my Dad's car pull into the
driveway. Through the crack in the curtains, I see him step out of his car
and his breath puff in the cold air as he jogs to the front door.

"How'd it go?" I instantly ask when he steps inside, setting my mug of

honey and tea down on the coffee table.
Dad shrugs off his coat. "It went fine."

"What'd you two talk about?"

"Nothing, really."

I huff at him. "Dad."

"Raine," he says back, sticking his tongue out at me.

I cross my arms like a toddler having a temper tantrum and scowl.

"You were gone for an hour! Come on, what'd you want to talk to him
about?"

Dad sighs and comes into the living room, giving me a small smile as he
leans against the wall.

"I wanted to thank him, Raine."

I straighten and drop my arms to my sides, "Oh."

"For being there for you and for making you happy. I apologized for being
so rude and refusing to trust him when I first met him."

I furrow my brow, "Really?"

Dad pushes off of the wall and nods. "Really. He helped take care of my
little girl for me, so I owed him a thank you. And it came in the form of a
new battery for his Jeep."

My eyes nearly bulge out of my head when he says that, but he only grins.
"It's not like I was about to be his chauffeur whenever he wanted to come
see you, and I'd appreciate it if he didn't walk here in the freezing cold in
the middle of the night and wake me up, too."

My heart practically melts. "Thank you, Dad."

He walks over to me and kisses the top of my head. "He's a good guy,
Raine."

Then, he messes with my hair and heads down the hall to his office. And, as
if on cue, my phone buzzes and the name

East

appears on my screen. Once I slide across the screen to answer, West's face
appears.

"I'm still alive," he says as he lays back on his bed, putting an arm behind
his head.

"So I see," I hum with a small smile. "He told me he thanked you. Did he
even mention the cuddling at all?"

West chuckles, "Oh he did. Told me to watch where I put my hands."

I throw my head back with a groan, "That's so embarrassing."

"No, what's embarrassing is the fact that you accidentally left me a two
minute voice memo when you were telling Alyse about how amazing it was
to be cuddled into my side all night and how I'm the perfect... let's see here,
how did you put it?" His smirk somehow deepens. "'Muscular pillow.'"

I slap a hand over my face and groan even louder. "Tell me I didn't."

"Maybe you should stick to sign language, Sunshine."

I peek between my fingers and narrow my eyes at his stupidly cute smirk.

"Are you done?" I ask.

He hums, "For now."

I roll my eyes and lay back down on the couch, holding my phone over my
head as he continues.
"So, tomorrow," he starts.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay going back even with the possibility of seeing him?" West
asks, voice softening.

At the mention of Warren, I feel my body shut down and I grip the phone
tighter. I didn't realize I would have to face him again so soon. This
weekend has been an emotional turmoil for me. I had my lowest low in
years followed by my highest high, and I don't know if I have the mental
strength to face anything to tear me back down again.

"Sunshine?"

I turn my attention back to my phone screen where West's brown eyes are
glowing with concern. Suddenly, my fear of seeing Warren begins to
dissipate when it sinks in that West will be by my side.

"I'll be okay," I answer honestly.

"What about your voice?" He asks.

"I spent years in silence, it's about time I came out of hiding."

---

7/14/2021- I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know there weren't a
whole lot of West and Raine scenes, and that may be why it took me so long
to write this. But nonetheless, I really hop you liked it.
Chapter Thirty Five (Edited
8/6/2021)
8/6/2021- My boyfriend has decided to read this book...he's going to find
out that I simp harder for West than I do for him. Either that, or he's going
to think I wrote West off of him (like he seems to think I did for Elijah from
Fight For Her). If only LOL!

Also, if you haven't read

Fight For Her

yet, you definitely should! You can purchase it in any bookstore near you,
Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Wattpad Books, etc.! I am so grateful to have
been able to formally publish one of my books, and the better Fight For Her
does, the more likely they are to publish Silently Falling in English!!

Silently Falling (Edited): Chapter Thirty Five

The next morning, my confidence stays with me and I know I'm ready to
face my classmates at school. They are going to be beyond shocked that I'm
speaking again, and I have prepared myself for rumors to fly around. I
tossed and turned all night thinking of what they would say.

So, when I wake in the morning, I find my body almost refusing to leave
the comfort of my bed. My alarm buzzes on my phone beside my head,
morphing my headache into a migraine the longer I wait to shut it off.

"Raine! Your alarm has been going off for ten minutes, you don't want to be
late!"

Dad's voice mixes in with my annoying alarm and I groan, covering my

head with Mr. Buttons and flinching when his horn pokes my ear.

"Okay," I sigh, flipping on my back. "I'm up."

Though I know I can't hide from this situation forever and I'm much
stronger than I was three years ago, I am still dreading having to face

him.

I can still feel his grimy hands holding my mouth shut, still taste the sweat
and dirt when I bit his palm, and, worst of all, I can still picture what he did
to me every time I close my eyes.

Despite finding my voice, there's still a fear within me that as soon as I see

him

, I will lose it all over again. One snide comment, one glare, may be all it
takes. I wasn't strong enough to fight him off physically, how can I be
confident that I can fight him off mentally?

Knocking at my bedroom door snaps me from my thoughts and Toby steps

inside seconds later.

"You have a habit of entering before anyone says come in," I tease.

"You

had

a habit of not being able to say come in," he shoots back with a smile.

I take a pillow from off of my bed and throw it at him while I laugh. He
catches it and throws it right back.

"Throwing Mr. Buttons would have gotten the reaction you were looking
for," he says, but then his smile fades. "I just came to see if you still wanted
to come to school today. No one will blame you if you decide to skip."

"Yeah, West was wondering the same thing yesterday," I sigh. "I should go,
right? If Warren sees that I skipped, he's just going to bask in knowing he
still has such a hold over me. He'll think he won."
"This isn't a game, Raine. For him, maybe some twisted game, but not for
you. This is your life. Don't look at it in terms of him winning or losing."

"It is a game though, isn't it? A cat and mouse game. Where he chases me
into a corner and taunts me every chance he gets."

"If you want to look at it that way, at least make it a game that you can play
by your own rules." He says seriously.

"A cat and mouse game has a clear winner no matter what rules are in play."

"Not in Tom and Jerry."

I tilt my head at Toby and can't help but chuckle. "You're comparing this to
a kids cartoon?"

He drops his head and laughs with me. "Yeah, I guess that was kind of
lame. Point is, he doesn't have control over you. Not anymore. You've
proven that by getting your voice back."

I let out a heavy sigh and grab Mr. Buttons to hold him close to me. He
doesn't smell like a childhood stuffed animal anymore, instead he smells
faintly like a burning campfire. Like West.

My phone buzzes next to me, almost on cue, and it lights up with West's
contact.

East:

It's an oddly warm day today...the sun is shining pretty bright despite the
fact it's facing the threat of snow in the winter. Cool, huh?

I only notice the smile on my lips when Toby speaks up. "And he'll be
there," he says, nodding to my phone. "West."

"How'd you know it was him?"

He snorts and goes to leave the room. "You wouldn't smile like that if it was
anyone else," but then he pauses in the doorway. "I'm going to leave for
school in about an hour, but I'll be downstairs waiting if you decide to
come."

When I hear his footsteps pad down the steps, I turn my attention back to
my phone.

Me:

Was that some sort of metaphoric pep talk? Sunshine & snow...

East:

You caught me

Me:

Between you and Toby I feel like I'm in english class and Mr. Patterson is
trying to make us understand why the author said the curtains were blue.

East:

He would say there's symbolism in everything

Me:

What would you say?

East:

That the sun shines brightly on the west coast and winter snow doesn't have
any control

My smile brightens and I shake my head at how ridiculous he sounds.

Me:

We aren't on the west coast

East:
Chicago is considered the Midwest, close enough

East:

And I know that made you smile

That's all it takes. Thirty minutes later, I'm dressed and ready to face
whatever "the winter snow" throws at me.

As Toby pulls into the parking lot, I can feel my heartbeat in my throat. My
eyes don't stop scanning the parking lot; searching and praying they don't
spot a familiar black Audi. I reach over to take Alyse's hand and steal some
of her strength as she gives my hand a gentle squeeze and a reassuring
smile.

"Don't worry, Raine. We all have your back, you know that," she says.

We park and as I step out, I'm instantly relieved when I see West pulling in
right next to us. As he steps out of his Jeep, he grabs his book-bag from the
back and throws it effortlessly over his shoulder, slightly bunching up the
long sleeve of his light gray Henley Shirt.

He catches my eye from across the top of his Jeep and breaks out into his
handsome smile.

"Good morning Sunshine,"

he signs as he walks toward me.

I cock my head slightly when he signs his greeting to me until I note the
wary look in his eye. I haven't texted him since before I got dressed and
ready for the day, so he may not be certain that I still plan on talking and
revealing to all of our classmates that I got my voice back. My heart flutters
a bit and I smile softly at him as he stands in front of me.

"Good morning," I say.

His smile widens and his eyes crinkle at the sides as he reaches out to take
my hand.
"I was hoping I'd get to hear that beautiful voice today."

"Toby, take notes," Alyse mutters as she steps out of the truck, grabbing her
backpack and closing the door.

"You have a beautiful voice, too!" He exclaims as he rushes to get out of the
truck and run around the front to be next to her. I bite back my laugh when
Toby sends West an exasperated look.

West rolls his eyes, "Those two still working things out?"

I chuckle, "I think she's playing hard to get."

"Like you did for the past few months?"

I look up at him and narrow my eyes playfully. "And who says you 'got'
me?"

West's sweet smile fades to match my smirk as he cocks a brow. Next thing
I know, he pulls me to him by my waist and he spins us so that my back is
pinned against the Jeep with his free hand flat against it, right next to my
head.

His head is dipped down, lips only inches from mine while I just stare wide-
eyed at him. He eyes my lips hungrily before dragging them back to meet
my startled gaze.

"I've got you now," he says quietly, and it causes my heart to beat a million
times faster.

His subtle campfire scent is blanketing my senses, even the slight scent of
mouthwash on his breath is causing me to go weak in the knees. His hand
holding my hip isn't helping the zoo in my stomach, and neither is the look
in his eye. Without hesitation, I rest one hand on his defined chest and
snake the other around the back of his neck, threading my fingers through
his hair.

"And now I've got you."

He inches his lips even closer, lightly brushing his nose against mine. "Let's
be honest, Sunshine. You've had me since day one."

And then he kisses me. His lips meet mine in an innocent yet tender kiss
that I feel all the way to my toes. It's warm and inviting, capturing my heart
and causing it to beat harmoniously with his.

His hand on my waist moves to rest on my cheek, but he chooses the wrong
one and his palm presses into my bruise. I can't help myself as I subtly
flinch. West instantly removes his hand, breaking his lips from mine as his
expression fills with concern.

"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" He asks, taking his hand off of
his Jeep so that he is no longer trapping me against it.

"No! No, I just...the bruise," I say quietly, gesturing to my cheek.

His face drops in an instant, "I thought it had faded."

"I just covered it up with makeup this morning."

He drops his gaze to the pavement. "I'm sorry."

I try to catch his eye and smile softly, shaking my head. "Don't be. It's
okay."

"It's going to be hard for me to see him today and not rip his head off," West
says, his jaw clenched as he eyes my cheek with the covered bruise. "It may
be a good thing that I can't see it, because if I did I wouldn't hold back when
I see him. I still might not."

"West, I don't want him to be able to do anything to you," I say as I take his
hand.

"He doesn't deserve to get away with this, Raine."

I know he's alluding to more than just meeting his vengeful fist. I know he's
alluding to me pressing charges. Dad did the same thing last night, but I
avoided the conversation.
Toby wants to ask me about it too, I can tell. Dinner last night was the two
of them dancing around the topic and me conveniently avoiding it every
single time. I just... I can't handle a trial. The trial freshman year took too
much of an emotional toll on me. I don't know if I can handle that again.
I've finally gained back what Warren stole from me when he attacked me
freshman year. I'm in a good place. Why would I risk losing that for another
potential trial?

"I'm not going to press charges, West," I say quietly.

His jaw clenches and he shakes his head. "Why? You have a solid case and
I'll testify to what I saw. They won't be able to work around that."

I drop my gaze to the pavement and sigh. "Yes they will. You testify to what
you saw and then they turn it around and claim that you assaulted Warren.
Nathaniel twists the story to make us look like the bad guys instead of the
victims... We can't win, West."

"No jury would believe that."

I lift my gaze to meet his, but I don't shy away when I see the anger
swimming in his eyes.

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that, either," he shoots back. "He can't get away with
hurting you."

"He already did!" I snap, pulling my hand out of his and taking a step back
as my frustration builds. "I've been in this situation before. I know exactly
how it would go!"

West eyes widen slightly but I keep going before he can say anything.

"If we put you on the stand, Nathaniel or whatever lawyer Warren gets is
going to grill

you
as his defense. He's going to make you admit to pinning Warren against that
desk. He's going to make you admit to wanting to hurt him. He's going to
bring up your past so that no one will believe you when you say that you
didn't punch him, and he has the bruises to prove it. Because you know who
Warren will say hurt him? Not Toby. Then, once they make you an
unreliable witness, no jury will believe a word you say when you admit
everything you saw him do to me."

"But Alyse and the others walked in and saw you-"

"Saw me what? Nowhere near Warren? They will focus on the fact that
Alyse never saw Warren's hands on me. She only saw my dress torn and
you pinning Warren to the desk. Then the jury will question why you were
in there in the first place. And you know what Warren's defense will do?
They'll make the jury think that maybe,

just maybe

, it was you. When that doubt trickles into their minds, we'll have already
lost. With your background and how good Nathaniel is...I'm too scared that
somehow you would become the one on trial. And I refuse to let that
happen."

"Sunshine-"

I let my voice drop with my head and I sigh. "There is no case, West. Drop
it." I brush past him and to Toby and Alyse, trying to calm my mind and
force a trial away from my thoughts.

I can't do it again. I can't risk West being put on stand. I can't risk being
called a liar again. I can't do it.

However, West reaches out and takes my hand, forcing me to face him.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, brows pulled together. "I just...you know I have
your back no matter what you decide. I just don't want you to give up
before you've even given it a chance. Will you at least think about it?
Please?"
I close my eyes for a moment or two, willing my mind to calm and think
rationally. I steady my breathing and focus on the feeling of my hand in
West's, squeezing his softly.

Eventually, I give him a small nod. He lets out a breath of relief and gives
me a small smile. Then, our attention is pulled over to Toby's truck that Tina
is stomping toward with Tyler by her side.

"You!" She screeches, stomping up to Toby who takes a step closer to

Alyse. "You

blocked

my number?"

"I- uh, yeah." Toby stutters out.

"That's why you wanted to talk to him?" Tyler says, his face falling. "Why
does it matter? You're kinda with me."

I snap my eyes to Tyler who is conveniently avoiding my gaze, but his

focus shifts to West's hand in mine and I see his shoulders sag.

Amidst everything else that happened this weekend, I had forgotten about
Tyler's declaration of his affection towards me. Now, however, his kiss
comes to the forefront of my mind and my body stiffens when I realize I
need to tell West.

West quirks a brow at Tyler's announcement of being with Tina and I feel
his gaze move to me, but I wipe the reaction off of my face and tune back
into their conversation.

"It matters because he didn't even have the decency to tell me why! He just
blocked me!"

Alyse pops her up as she crosses her arms and grins, "This should be
interesting."
Toby looks between her and Tina a few times and awkwardly adjusts his
backpack on his shoulder.

"Look, Tina, I'm sorry. I just don't have any interest anymore," he says. "I
shouldn't have been with you in the first place, okay? It's Alyse, it's always
been Alyse."

All of our jaws drop, but not nearly as far as Tina's as she scoffs.

"You

asshole!

You should never have been with me in the first place? That's definitely not
what you were saying when we-"

"Okay! Tina, Tyler, why don't you tell us how you two got together?" I say,
cutting her off to save Alyse from having to hear anymore. "Also, does
anyone know where Gray is?"

Now her jaw drops for an entirely different reason as she stares at me.

"Did you just..."

And, in seconds, her mood changes completely and she abandons Tyler's
side to run to mine and hug me. My hand drops from West's as I awkwardly
hug her back, my arms not fitting around her backpack.

"Raine! Oh my gosh!" She cheers, squeezing me tight.

For the rest of the day, that's how the reactions go. In music, Mr. C called
me to the front of the class to play the piano as usual, but when I talked to
him, the entire class noticed and they erupted into a fit of shock. Girls that
I've never been close with rush up to hug me and guys that never paid me
mind suddenly start trying to strike up a conversation with me.

By the end of first period, Warren still hasn't made an appearance. I walk
out of Mr. C's class with Alyse by my side and instantly West is at my other
side.
"So you're the talk of the school," he says with a chuckle, taking my books
for me as we head towards my locker.

"Yeah I don't think she had a single moment of silence in Music," Alyse
laughs, "everyone wanted to hear her speak and find out how."

"What'd you tell them?"

I shrug as we turn the corner and come up to my locker where Toby and
Tyler are already waiting.

"Just that I spoke with a lot of doctors over the weekend and it somehow
worked. I kept things pretty vague."

"Alyse! I forgot to say it, but you look beautiful today," Toby greets her as
we approach them.

"Well now it just seems forced," she mutters.

His posture deflates and he shoves Tyler, "You said that would make her
smile, dude."

Tyler puts his hands up in defense, "It usually works."

"Any signs of Warren?" Alyse asks, ignoring their banter.

Toby shakes his head. "I don't think he's here today."

"That's not too shocking," West says. "After the beating he took from Toby
and the fact that the rest of us are itching to hurt him, I'm sure he didn't
want to show his face."

Tyler scoffs, "Coward."

I let out a huge breath of relief and rest my head on West's shoulder,
allowing the fear of having to face Warren roll off my shoulders. I know it's
going to happen eventually. He won't hide from here forever, but I'm just
glad to know today isn't going to be the day I have to see him.
West winds his arm around my side and rests his cheek on my head.

"I told you it'd be okay, Sunshine," he says quietly.

Suddenly, Gray comes running down the hall towards us, nearly slipping on
a stray piece of paper on the floor, and I lift my head to send him a
questioning look. When he reaches us, he has to bend over to catch his
breath.

"Where the hell have you been?" Toby asks as Gray stands back up, gulping
in a few more breaths.

"First off, that finally happened?" He asks, gesturing between me and West
with a smile. "And second, I was late because I was busy mapping out a
schedule for us to make sure Raine never walks alone in between classes.
You know, in case

he's

here." He says, pulling a folded sheet of paper out from his pocket.

We all crowd around him to read over the schedule and my heart flutters.

"Gray...this is perfect," Alyse says, taking it from him.

"Yeah man, thank you," Toby says, clapping him on the back.

As we all continue to study the sheet, one of our classmates suddenly stops
next to us and smiles widely at me as his group of friends waits behind him.

"Raine, hey! Say something!"

However, before I can awkwardly speak up, Gray whips around and glares
at the guy.

"Excuse me? That was incredibly rude, you know. How would you like it if
you couldn't speak and I just came up to you and started mocking you?"
The rest of us glance at one another in confusion, but then I recall that Gray
has no idea I've gotten my voice back. He hasn't been at school until now.

"Gray, it's okay!" I say.

Gray turns towards Alyse who he assumes spoke up and puts his hand out,
"No, hold on Alyse. This isn't okay."

Alyse sends him a deadpan look. "Gray? That wasn't me."

Gray ignores her for a second and goes back to scold our classmate before
doing a double take, then his shocked eyes shift to me.

"Holy shit."

---

8/6/2021 - Total rewrite (as the rest of the book will be). This chapter took
me a while to write and while it isn't my favorite, I think it has a lot of
important banter between everyone and sets the scene nicely for what's to
come! I hope you guys liked it!

Until next time

❤
Chapter Thirty Six (Edited
8/25/2021)
8/25/2021 - Thank you for baring with me and all of the technical issues
with posting this chapter! Editing a story that was already completed is sort
of difficult on Wattpad at times... but it's finally uploaded! This is a drastic
change from the original plot, so I'm both excited and nervous to read the
comments.

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Six

The rest of the school day went the same. By lunch, it was completely out
that my voice was back. Every table I walked past had people watching me
as they whispered to their friends; no subtlety to their stares and their gossip
relentless. While their rumors circulated through the halls, I was too busy
avoiding every face in fear of meeting

his

icy blue eyes.

Only at the very end of the day, when the final school bell sounded through
the speakers, did I let out my first real breath of relief. Warren never
showed and I got away with another day avoiding the inevitable.

As I pack my backpack to walk out of my last class of the day, I catch a

glimpse of a familiar gray Henley shirt through the glass next to the
classroom door. The fabric of my backpack straps scratches my hands as I
lift it to put it on, and after three years of needing to worry about damaging
my hands, I now barely even notice.

I head towards the door, following behind the last group of students also
leaving class, but one of them accidentally kicks the door stopper and it
starts swinging shut as I walk through. A muscular arm quickly darts out to
stop it, holding it open for me as I meet my favorite smirk.

"Hey Sunshine."

I grin at him, "I thought Gray's schedule had Tyler meeting me after class?"

We begin walking down the hall, other students clearing out of our way due
to West's naturally dominating presence. After so many months of walking
the halls with West, I barely notice the way everyone moves out of his way,
as if it's routine.

West puts his hands in his jean pockets and shrugs, subtly watching my
reaction.

"He texted me asking if I could instead."

I look away from West and give a small nod, furrowing my brow.

Tyler said that the kiss wouldn't change our friendship. He said he wouldn't
let it. Yet he barely paid me any attention this morning aside from a word
here and there and has yet again avoided seeing me. Even at lunch he
scarfed down his food in minutes and went to sit with Tina at her table.

West is clearly curious as to why Tyler wasn't shocked this morning when I
spoke for, seemingly, the first time to him since freshman year. Not to
mention, West has picked up on the obvious fact that Tyler is avoiding me.

West didn't pry or ask any questions, but his glances between me and Tyler
allow me to read his thoughts pretty clearly. He knows something happened
between us. He's too perceptive not to. I just don't know if that makes
telling him about the kiss easier or harder.

The longer I wait to tell him, the more he'll think the kiss held feelings
worth hiding. In reality, Tyler's kiss meant nothing to me. I have always and
will always only view Tyler as a friend, and it felt weird knowing he's
viewed me as another girl he wants, not as the best friend I always assumed
I was.
At the time of the kiss, I didn't think that. I thought that Tyler had a random
moment of wanting to kiss me, just to see what it may be like, and that he
got his feelings confused and we would move past it instantly. But now that
he's avoiding me altogether, I realize how deep his feelings go.

Keeping it hidden for now gives me a false sense of hope that Tyler and I
can really just remain friends and act like the kiss never happened. That
tomorrow he'll be over it and will be back to his normal, cheerful self
around me. And, as much as I don't want to admit it, a small part of me
longs for things to go back to normal because I can't help but realize that
another guy I thought was a good friend turned out to just want to be with
me and took matters into their own hands when I never made a move.

I know Tyler isn't Warren. I know that Tyler is a great guy. I know that he
never meant to make me uncomfortable. But the act of the kiss now makes
my skin crawl, especially it being so close to what happened with Warren.

But I know that the longer Tyler's distant behavior towards me goes on, the
more West's curiosity will stir. It isn't fair to him to keep it a secret when he
has nothing to worry about.

"Raine! Congrats on being able to talk again!" A random classmate says as

she walks past, sending me a proud smile and West a shy one.

I give her an awkward smile in return before letting my head fall a little so
that my hair slips past my ear and covers part of my face. West watches my
reaction closely and nudges me, the soft cotton of his shirt brushing my
skin.

"You okay, Sunshine?"

I tuck my hair back behind my ear and look down the hall, scrunching my
eyes as I try to find the right explanation.

"It's weird. I've had people congratulating me all day for being able to talk
again. Being almost praised after what events led to me finding my voice...
I know they don't know, but it's like I'm being congratulated for trauma. I
don't know, I guess I should be grateful that they care enough to notice,
right?"

West frowns, "No, you can feel however you want. It's hard to let their
congratulations mean anything when they don't even know half of the
story."

I look up at him, confused that he was able to articulate it so well, and he

smiles sadly.

"My first week at school, a few people here and there would do the same to
me for getting out of juvie. I know they meant well, and you know it too,
but in the back of my mind, their congrats felt almost facetious. They don't
know me or what I went through, so congratulations didn't feel right."

We start our trek down the central staircase, leading down to the main hall
where all of the freshmen and sophomores are busy rushing through the
doors to get to their bus on time. I watch as they scurry around, wondering
what stories behold them or if their biggest issue is just making sure they
don't miss the bus.

"So how did you stop it from bothering you?" I ask, turning my attention
back to West.

He opens the doors leading to the junior and senior parking lot, holding his
arm through the doorway to allow me to go through before following
behind me.

"I stopped looking at it as a celebration of what I had been through, but

rather a celebration of how I was able to overcome it."

As we walk outside, the sunlight illuminates his face and creates a desirable
honey mixture in his eyes as his eyelashes cast a subtle shadow over his
cheeks. His small smile causes a little crinkle by his lips to appear and I
take a second to appreciate everything about him.

"You've overcome a lot," I say.

He looks down at me and smiles slightly, putting his arm around my
shoulders to hug me into his side as a cool breeze blows by, fighting with
the warmth from the sunlight.

"You have too."

"Not without your help," I mutter as I nuzzle my head into his side, causing
our strides to intermingle and become awkward.

We both chuckle and soon we reach Toby's truck and West's Jeep. We walk
up to Toby and Alyse chatting in a rather intimate position. She's sitting on
the lowered tailgate of his truck and he's standing between her legs, his
hands on either side of her. There's no kissing and very minimal touching,
but anyone can see the look both of their eyes share as they talk to one
another.

At the same time West and I walk up, Gray comes from the other end of the
lot with Tyler. Tyler nearly trips over his shoelaces, stumbling into Gray
who rolls his eyes and steadies him. Before Saturday, I would chuckle and
make lighthearted fun of his clumsiness. But now, I don't even find it in me
to laugh.

Toby moves so that he's standing next to Alyse rather than between her legs,
his hip leaning against the tailgate as he faces the rest of us.

"We were just talking about you, Raine," he says, "did you see Dad's text?"

I furrow my brow and grab my phone from my back pocket, the screen
revealing his text in our family group-chat asking us to invite everyone over
for a big dinner.

Dad:

Hey you two, I'm glad the school day went well. Just went shopping and
bought a bunch of food for a cookout, invite your friends over! This may be
the only warm day we have for the next few months so let's make it count
and celebrate. I bought some firewood for the firepit out back too.
West glances at the text over my shoulder and he eyes my reaction
carefully. After what we just talked about, my discomfort with what
happened being celebrated, but I hang onto his last advice and smile.

"Dad wants all of you guys to come over tonight for a cookout," I say.

Everyone instantly cheers their excitement and agrees to come, but Tyler
takes a little longer to rise to the occasion and smile. When he does, he
seems to say it solely to Toby with nothing more than a nod towards me to
at least acknowledge that I'm there.

But it begs the question of how tonight will go.

OoO

Dinner went smoothly despite Dad not being much of a griller. He managed
to only burn two of the burgers, but Tyler ate them with no issue, claiming
that he'll eat anything that's borderline edible, which caused quite the
chuckle from everyone. For those few moments, it was nice to forget about
the underlying drama between him and I. After dinner, we all made our way
to the firepit on our patio.

Toby and I rarely use the back patio despite how nice it is. We have a huge
deck, complete with my Dad's stainless steel grill and a charming outdoor
dining set. The deck steps lead down to a beautiful paver stone pathway,
only five or six feet long, that opens into a stunning circle complete with an
Ashlar stone firepit in the center. On the far end, the patio ends with a half-
circle seat wall that serves as seating for the firepit, with accent pillows
providing extra comfort, and on the other end are four Adirondack chairs
complete with cushions.

It was my mom's idea to have a grand backyard that was made perfect to
host all of their friends, and after she passed my dad made it his mission to
complete it. Only now, Toby and I are using it in her place to host our
friends and create memories that I know have her smiling in heaven. Alyse,
West, and I are occupying the chairs while Gray and Tyler lounge on the
seat-wall. Toby is inside putting together a tray for s'mores after Alyse
announced how perfect it would make the night.
I pull West's leather jacket tighter around my shoulders and tuck my legs up
under me in my chair. As the sun sank below the trees, so did the
temperature. The fire in front of us can only provide so much heat, and
West instantly took note every time I shivered from the winter chill.
Without hesitation, he stood up and took off his leather jacket, draping it on
my shoulders.

As the wind shifts and the smoke from the fire changes direction, I hear the
back door slide open. I twist my head around, squinting at the indoor light
pouring outside, and see Toby carefully balancing the tray of graham
crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows on one hand with a blanket tucked
under his shoulder as he slides the door shut behind him. He makes his way
down the steps and instantly over to Alyse, setting the s'mores tray down on
the side table, to which West and I begin grabbing the stuff to make ours.
Alyse watches him with unmistakable love in her eyes as he throws open
the blanket and lets it fall softly onto her lap.

From the way she's looking at him, I know it won't be long before Alyse
decides to truly give him a chance. And from the way he looks at her, I
know he won't mess it up.

"You looked like you were getting cold," Toby says softly as he takes his
seat next to her. Then he glances over at me and West and chuckles, "and I
don't have a leather jacket to give you."

Alyse snorts, cuddling into the blanket. "You aren't badass enough to pull
one off, anyway."

West glances over at them as he blows the fire off from his marshmallow,
quirking a brow. I have to hold my laugh in from how innocent he looks as
he narrows his eyes at the marshmallow with a flame that refuses to die
down, waving it haphazardly to try and put it out.

Toby gestures to West and laughs. "Yet he is?"

"He literally looks like he could be in

The Outsiders
, so yeah."

"Okay okay, West is a badass and Toby isn't," Gray starts, resulting in a
smirk from West, and walks around the firepit to grab his own ingredients
for a s'more. "What I want to know, Raine, is what your first words were!"

That catches Tyler's attention and he lifts his eyes from his phone to look at
me, expression guarded as he awaits what I know he doesn't want to hear.

Instead of focusing on him and the pain hidden behind his eyes, I turn my
attention to West. My heart stutters at the way the firelight flickers across
his face, illuminating his proud smile as I tell the others that my first word
was his name, and better yet, it was spoken in front of the person who stole
it from me in the first place.

Alyse, who already knew when she pried it out of me yesterday, still
squeals and bounces in her seat, causing the blanket to slowly slide off of
her legs. However, despite how the others also show their happiness from
my story, Tyler just stares at me. I look at him and swallow slightly, unsure
what to say.

"So your first word wasn't just to him," Tyler says, his voice nearly
monotone, "it was his name?"

If I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't have picked up on the slight crack
in his voice at the end of his question.

"It was," I say gently, almost cautiously.

Tyler slowly nods and then his eyes shift to the fire. "Well congrats, West.
You were the one who finally got her to talk."

I instantly stiffen at his remark. The others also notice shift of Tyler's whole
body language, how his hands turn to fists in his lap and his jaw tightens.
Alyse glances at Toby with a questioning look, but he keeps his shocked
gaze stuck on Tyler.
"You act like it was some sort of competition," West responds. "It was never
my goal to get her to talk again."

Tyler shrugs, "In that case, you must feel pretty duped. You know, since you
spent the last few months learning sign language and now...well, it was for
no reason."

"You sure you're talking about me?" West's voice is scarily calm as he stares
back with dark, accusatory eyes.

Tyler narrows his eyes at the clear accusation. "I didn't learn it for no
reason. I had to learn it if I wanted to stay friends with Raine."

"Ah, you see there's the difference. I don't feel like I

had

to do anything. I wanted to. I wanted to get to know Sunshine and it didn't

bother me one bit that learning ASL would be a part of that."

"You think

she

wanted to? She was forced to have to learn ASL! You don't even know the
half of it," Tyler snaps.

West's jaw clicks and he turns to look at me, silently asking if he can reveal
that he does know. I shift my eyes between the two of them and awkwardly
clear my throat, sitting up slightly to interject.

"He does know, Tyler."

For the first time in their argument, Tyler shifts his gaze to me and I
suddenly see just how hurt he is.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he knows about Warren and why I lost my voice. After what
happened Friday night...it wasn't something I could keep hidden anymore."

At the mention of Friday night, Tyler's eyes instantly drop and he shifts
uncomfortably in his seat.

I continue, "We both realized we shouldn't keep secrets from one another
anymore."

However, my last statement must resonate in Tyler because his

uncomfortable expression disappears and his head snaps up. He narrows his
eyes, shifting them to West almost as a challenge.

"So does that mean he knows that I kissed you?"

My entire body freezes, as does everyone else's. All I hear is the crackle of
the fire and the occasional chirp of a bird in the surrounding trees. From the
corner of my eye, I see Toby start to stand up.

"What the fu-"

Alyse slaps her hand over his mouth and tugs him back into his seat,
nodding heavily towards me and West as she shushes him.

Then, all I can hear is the pounding of my heart loud in my ears with
anticipation. West could scream at me. He could rip his jacket away from
my shoulders and leave without another word said. Or he could storm over
to Tyler and send a wicked punch right to his jaw.

However, West does none of that. Rather than exclaiming in anger, he

places his attention on me.

"Sunshine?"

His voice comes out quiet, not confident like it almost always is, and I
sense the fear in his tone.

I want to close my eyes and curl into this chair, wishing for Mr. Buttons to
appear so that I can hold him tightly as I wish this moment away. But Mr.
Buttons doesn't come and I realize I have to face this reality that Tyler
created by speaking about something I hadn't gotten the chance to explain.
Instead, I maintain West's steady eye contact and begin to nod.

"He did kiss me," I admit and I can practically see his heart drop.

There's a sadness lingering in West's eyes as he looks at me, and it breaks

my heart in two. I don't see any anger, in its place is a sense of vulnerability
that has me wanting to stand up and throw my arms around him in a
promise that it meant nothing.

Everyone else around the fire is equally as silent, probably afraid to even
breathe too loudly. From the corner of my eye, I see the small smirk on
Tyler's lips and it makes my blood boil that this is exactly what he wanted,
so it makes my next sentence much easier to admit aloud with him in
earshot.

"But it meant nothing to me, West. He came to my house to apologize for

leaving me alone at the party and then next thing I knew he was kissing
me."

West is so silent that I can hear how he tries to steady his breathing and I
watch the rise and fall of his chest.

Finally, he speaks up. "Did you kiss him back?"

I instantly shake my head and place a gentle hand on his forearm. He

relaxes at my touch, but only slightly, and his eyes bore into mine; silently
begging for me to say no.

"No, of course I didn't," I say, and the fear in his eyes flickers away into
relief. "If I had anticipated the kiss, I would have said something
beforehand to stop him. He just caught me off guard and honestly...it
freaked me out a little. I think I was trying to forget about it and in doing so,
I avoided telling you. I'm so sorry."

My tone is almost pleading with him to believe me and, much to my relief,

West begins to nod. However, that relief in his eyes melts into anger and he
furrows his brow.

"So, you didn't want him to kiss you?" West confirms.

I shake my head, albeit a little confused by the question. "I've only ever
seen him as a friend, you know that. I...I thought he did too."

I finally look at Tyler, but my heart sinks when I still only see anger in his
expression. It makes me cower further into my chair, quickly diverting my
gaze as I fiddle with the sleeve of West's jacket. West notices and something
in his mind clicks as he turns his attention across the fire to Tyler.

"You hear what she just said?" West asks him in a dangerously calm voice.

Tyler looks away, clenching his jaw. "Yeah, I heard her. It was pretty
obvious that she didn't want me to kiss her after the fact."

West stands up, his entire body tense as he slowly begins walking around
the firepit toward Tyler.

"Sounds to me like it was rather obvious before the fact, too. But that's not
what I meant. Did you hear the part where she said you freaked her out?"

Tyler slowly lifts his eyes to me and I see guilt tug his lips down into a
frown. He says nothing.

"Did you just notice the way she can barely even look at you now without
seeming uncomfortable?" West continues as he slowly makes his way closer
to Tyler.

Tyler still says nothing.

"So here's what really happened," West says, now standing right in front of
Tyler and towering over him. "You kissed her

without consent

less than 24 hours after she had been sexually assaulted."

I've only heard this level of anger in West's voice the few times he's spoken
to Warren and it makes my blood run cold.

Tyler's face instantly falls and his skin pales. His posture drops from
offensive to defensive within seconds and he takes a step or two back

"Raine," he says, looking at me with all of his anger suddenly gone, but I
can't keep his gaze. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think-"

"Don't look at her," West demands.

Tyler looks to the others for support against West's previous statement.
However, everyone else avoids his gaze as the gears turn in their own
heads, and their awkward glances soon morph into ones of disbelief and
anger.

"I-I just came over to apologize to her for the party. One thing led to
another a-and next thing I knew I was kissing her. I thought she felt the
same way about me. A-and then when she pushed me away she suddenly
said my name and I thought it was her first word a-and I had to kiss her
again-"

Upon Tyler admitting he kissed me a second time, West grabs him by the
scruff of his shirt and pins him harshly against the nearest stone pillar. A
gasp passes my lips and I take a step around the firepit towards them, but
Gray puts his hand out to stop me with a look that says 'don't get in the
middle of that.'

"Here's what I want to know," West spits, "How desperate does one person
have to be to kiss a girl without consent? And what does that say about you
for not only doing it once, but twice?"

Tyler barely even struggles against West as he realizes he has nowhere to

go. I watch as the panic in his eyes doubles along with the guilt and regret
when West's words fully sink in. He then shifts his gaze over to me, bottom
lip quivering.

"Raine I'm
so

sorry. Ever since West came into the picture, I've felt like I don't even exist
to you."

West shoves him harder against the stone, causing Tyler's eyes to leave
mine and fill with fear as he stares into West's wild gaze.

"So you had to force yourself on her to let her know you have feelings for
her? Here's a clue; if you liked her so much then you could have shown her
by actually being there for her

the other night! Instead you left her alone, Tyler."

The veins on West's forearms are bulging with the strength of his grip and I
fear he's about to cock his fist back and punch Tyler. But instead his grip
loosens and he lets him go, his shirt wrinkled and bunched from the
veracity of West's tight grasp.

West's jaw clicks and he takes a step back. "You aren't even worth it."

Tyler slumps down and breathes heavily, putting his hand on his chest as he
tries to catch his breath. He rolls his head to the side to look at me,
swallowing hard with remorse written in his expression.

"Raine...I'm sorry," he pleads with me. "I-I just needed you to know how
sorry I was for leaving you alone that night. I didn't even think...I'm such an
idiot. I just thought that maybe, just maybe, if I kissed you then you'd
realize you had feelings for me and choose me. And if you did choose me,
then I felt like I really would be forgiven."

"You should know that I never blamed you, Tyler. There was nothing to be
forgiven for." I say. "This is no one's fault but Warren's. You didn't know."

"But I

did
know!" Tyler exclaims in a broken voice, and I freeze.

Around me, the others stiffen as well. Alyse sucks in a sudden breath,
pulling the blanket tighter around her as if it'll hide her from everything
that's unfolding. I wish I could do the same.

"What do you mean?" I ask carefully.

"I saw Warren eyeing you that night. I saw him follow you and I still did
nothing! I was angry and jealous and I just figured 'Why don't I just let West
save her? He does everything else for her at this point. She wouldn't even
notice if it was me.' I could have prevented it yet I just let it happen!"

Everything else around me disappears as a flashback to Warren pinning me

against the wall fights its way to the surface. I see him slapping me, see him
ripping my dress apart, see myself crying and mentally begging for help
through every sob. Only this time, I'm not alone with Warren in the room.
Tyler is there too. Watching it happen to me but staying rooted in place.

The clatter of a marshmallow roaster hitting the ground pulls me back into
the current moment as Toby shoots up from his seat, nearly knocking it over
as he lunges for Tyler. Before Toby can reach him, West whirls back around
to face him with wild rage in his eyes. In a split second, West sends his fist
flying across Tyler's face.

A sickening crunch fills my ears and blood spews from Tyler's nose. He
falls to the ground from the force of West's punch, landing painfully as he
covers his broken nose.

West's whole body is heaving with every outraged breath and he grabs
Tyler, lifting him back up and again pinning him aggressively against the
stone pillar. The bonfire rages on with West, spitting ash up into the air,
following the path of the smoke.

"You saw him and did nothing?" West yells and his eyes take on a look I've
never seen from him. "You let this happen to her!"
Toby and Gray are tense, ready to jump in if necessary, but it's clear that
right now West is in control. I watch with bated breath as West stays there,
not saying anything but keeping his gaze tight on Tyler.

"I trusted you," I whisper, staring at Tyler. Suddenly, there's a tickle by my

nose and I silently lift my hand, wiping away the lone tear.

"Raine, I'm sorry." Tyler cries, dark eyes swamped with guilt and remorse.

"I trusted you!" I repeat, this time in a hoarse scream.

"I didn't hurt you," Tyler pleads, struggling against West who only holds
him tighter.

"No, but you knew he would," I say as a few more silent tears trickle down
my cheeks. "It's not your job to protect me, I know that, but you knew how
scared I was to even go to that party."

"I-I don't know what you want me to say."

"There's nothing you can say," I whisper brokenly.

After what feels like a lifetime of West standing there, with eyes still lit
with rage, he harshly releases his death grip on Tyler's collar.

"Leave.

Now.

"

Tyler, his nose still dripping blood, slumps down with fear still deep in his
eyes. He then has the audacity to look to Toby and Gray for help, but their
expressions share the same anger as West.

"Guys..." Tyler says weakly.

"You need to leave," Toby says, his voice tight with emotion.
"I wanted to be on your side, Ty, I really did, but this... she's your best
friend, dude," Gray says solemnly. "She trusted you. We all did."

In a last ditch effort, Tyler looks at me with pleading eyes. But I flinch away
from his gaze.

"I'm sorry," is all he says. Seems to be all he can say. He slowly picks
himself up from the ground with his head hung low, finally unable to look
at any of us.

He starts to limp away, holding his nose with one hand and letting his arm
hang down that's all scraped up from falling onto the stone floor. I watch as
he goes away, unable to move and suddenly feeling the full blast of the
cold, winter night air.

"Sunshine," West breathes, running over to my side.

He stands in front of me, dipping his head down enough to catch my gaze
that's stuck staring where Tyler left. The others quickly come over to me as
well and their wide, worried eyes bore into me.

Alyse places a gentle hand on my back, pulling the blanket around her
shoulders around me and I curl into her side. The others instantly come
closer too, each wrapping their arms around me and consequently one
another. They cradle me in their warmth, pouring their sympathy into the
hug as they try and shield me from what's already happened.

---

8/25/2021 - Okay, so that was a huge change to Tyler's character from the
previous version. I am very curious to hear y 'all's thoughts on it. Good to
have changed him so much or do you wish he could have stayed the lovable
best friend?

Also, be sure to follow me on IG to enter my new giveaway coming soon!

Chapter Thirty Seven (Edited
9/10/2021)
9/10/2021 - Thank you all for loving this story so much! Your
encouragement and constant feedback on these edits mean everything to
me. I constantly go back through the edited chapters to read your comments
about how much my writing has matured and evolved and it truly makes my
day every time. This book (tentatively) will have 41/42 chapters!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Seven

A little while later, when the hug ended and the fire completely died out,
Gray went on his way. But not before giving me another hug and setting a
friendly kiss on my cheek with some more words of sympathy and
encouragement to not let Tyler's actions bring me down. He quietly
reminded me to look around and see that I still have people who care deeply
about me all around and Tyler isn't even worth the sadness.

As much as I want to hang onto Gray's words and find their truth, the fact of
the matter is that Tyler is

worth the sadness. Our friendship meant a lot to me and to lose that is
worthy of my tears. He's my best friend. He was the first guy I was able to
fully trust after what happened with Warren and his innocent, laughable
personality helped bring me out of my shell.

That's not something I can just forget. Tyler is a good guy. So why did a
good guy have to go and do something so horrible?

A shutter racks through my body and I pull West's jacket tighter around me,
my eyes downcast to the stone ground. Tyler was someone I believed I
could trust. I never had any doubt. Did I miss the signs? Did he only make a
mistake? Or is he really not the guy I thought he was?
I close my eyes as question after question attacks my mind. Now all I can
do is question my judgement when I finally felt like I could trust myself.

A gentle hand reaching for my shoulder takes me away from my thoughts

and I lift my gaze to meet West's worried one.

"Are you okay?"

The concern in his voice and tender worry in his eyes washes away the bits
of doubt that Tyler's actions planted in my mind and I find myself nodding.

"I will be," I say honestly, sending him a reassuring smile.

Then my eyes divert to his knuckles, wet with blood from his previously
split knuckles from when he punched the Jeep. He must have reopened
them when he hit Tyler. I frown and reach for his hand, gently sliding my
hand underneath to lift up from his palm and take a closer look at the raw
skin. West watches me silently, carefully gauging my reaction and trying to
decipher my emotions after all that went on.

"You, on the other hand, are not okay and you need to get this cleaned up," I
say, looking at him through my lashes.

He moves his fingers around, causing the bones in his knuckles to move
and he winces slightly. However, he gives me a small shake of his head and
then nods towards my brother.

"I think you should check on Toby first."

Toby is staring into the fading embers at the bottom of the firepit, watching
as they dance around faintly and glow in his eyes.

"Toby?"

He doesn't acknowledge me right away. His head moves just a tad so I

know he heard me, but he stays quiet for a few moments longer. Unmoving,
unblinking, lost in his thoughts.
"I-" Toby finally starts, having to clear his throat and blink away the glaze
on his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Raine."

Hearing his defeated tone has me rushing around the bonfire to stand by his
side, trying desperately to catch his gaze.

"Please don't apologize, Toby. You've done absolutely nothing wrong."

But he shakes his head and his hands clench into fists at his sides, so tightly
that they actually shake.

"I let another guy into your life who ended up not deserving it."

"Don't do that to yourself. This

isn't your fault,

" I say seriously. "It's my life, yeah? These are the consequences of my
decisions, not yours."

He finally meets my gaze and I see the tears burning in the back of his eyes.

"I could have at least stayed with you that night, Raine! That was the
promise, wasn't it? And I just walked away almost as soon as we got there."
His voice gets caught on a sob and he shuts his eyes for a moment, taking in
a shaky breath. "I also knew Tyler liked you. I think it was pretty obvious,
but I saw the way you and West started looking at one another and just
figured Tyler would notice too and get over his crush. I didn't think he'd do
something like this."

At that moment, Alyse cautiously walks up behind him and lays a gentle
hand on Toby's shoulder, causing him to stop and turn his head to her. She
rests her hand on his cheek with somber eyes, wiping away a small tear that
had fallen as she shakes her head.

"Listen to Raine. This isn't your fault, Toby. Tyler made his own decisions
and none of us could have known he would do something so selfish and
horrible."
He keeps his gaze stuck to hers, leaning further into her touch. I watch the
way every wall he's ever had, even to me, comes crashing down as he takes
a small step forward, wraps his arms around her waist, and buries his face
in her neck.

Not wanting to intrude, I turn toward West to bring him inside. However, I
jump slightly from the way he's looking at me. I can't quite decipher his
intense, thoughtful gaze, but it causes my heart to thud harder and I walk
over to his side.

"Do you want to go inside?" I suggest quietly. "We can go get your hand
cleaned up."

He nods and we quietly walk around Toby and Alyse, not wanting to ruin
their moment, and make our way inside. The doors lead into the kitchen, so
I have West sit on the barstools at the counter while I go and grab some
bandages and a bag of ice. I walk back into the kitchen from the bathroom
where I grabbed the little first-aid kit and I notice the emotion weathering
behind his brown eyes when he meets my gaze. I take a seat on the stool
next to him and he holds out his hand for me to inspect.

I look at it for a few seconds, gently moving his hand around to get the best
look at the split and bruised skin, and then dive into my little medical kit to
search for the Hydrogen peroxide so I can clean it off. When I finally find it
and direct my attention back to West, I find myself blushing under his
tender gaze.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask.

He shrugs with a tiny smile, "How am I looking at you?"

"I don't know..." I admit with a small chuckle, "But I like it. I just want to
know what you're thinking about."

"You."

My blush deepens. I don't know how to respond. So, we both stay quiet as I
continue to work on the cuts on his knuckles. After a few moments, his gaze
slips away from me and instead he stares at the cuts on his hand. He flexes
it, jaw ticking and stare hardening.

My eyes jump to him when he fills the silence.

"There was a moment earlier, right after I punched Tyler, that I wasn't
actually seeing him anymore. In that split second, I was back in that
bedroom with my mom and Jason the day I got arrested. And in that split
second, I didn't want to stop hitting Tyler until he was on the floor
unconscious like Jason had been."

While he talks, I continue to clean his wound while hanging onto his every
word. I think he appreciates the small distraction as he talks about a man
who didn't deserve to be a part of his family.

"Even if it was only for a half a second, I didn't

want

to stop. Finding out that Tyler knew what was going to happen to you at the
party and that he did nothing all because he was jealous

... Everything I suppressed with Warren from that night came rushing to the
surface again, and I guess it stirred up some similar feelings of anger that I
hadn't acted on since that day with Jason. Hell, I hadn't felt that level of
anger again aside from when I walked into that room at the party. And I
couldn't do anything about it then."

I accidentally dump too much peroxide on the cotton ball and it soaks
through to West's knuckle before I have the chance to warn him that it's
going to sting. He winces and I send him an apologetic look, but he doesn't
let it put a dent in his story.

"I've been in other fights before, back in juvie, and I never saw him

during any of those. All I did was hit Tyler once and flashbacks started
surfacing. The same hopeless feeling and desire to do something

came over me."

He stops there, and I credit it to the fact that I started dabbing at his wound
with the cotton ball a little too aggressively on accident and he had to bite
his tongue. However, even when I quickly stop, he stays quiet and watches
me work and I relax into his comforting gaze.

"Maybe the reason you saw

him,"

I think out loud as I concentrate on bandaging him up, "is because Tyler is
someone else in your life that should have been able to be trusted. In juvie,
I'm sure the fights were for different reasons, but in this case it was
someone you trusted betraying you, and those close to you, again."

West hums his agreement and I look up at him. He's watching me with a
tiny smile; cute enough to show off the crinkles by his eyes, the look in his
eye one of serene happiness. I tilt my head a little, confused as to how he
could look so at peace after telling a tale like that.

"That could be part of it," he agrees. "I don't think that's the main reason,
though."

"What's the other part?" I ask, reaching over to my medical kit to grab a
Band-Aid.

"You mean what's the other reason that I felt the same level of anger seeing
you get hurt as I did seeing my mom get hurt?" West asks, staring at me as
if he knows something I don't with a playful gleam in his eye. "The reason
that you're really the only other person I would get that angry and emotional
for?"

"Yeah?"

West simply smiles a bit wider, the look in his eye almost challenging me.

"Why did you yell my name that night?"

I furrow my brow at him, startled by the question. When I don't give him an
immediate response, he only gives a small chuckle with that same twinkle
in his eye.

"Let me know when you figure it out," he says and before I have time to
decipher what he means, he nods down to his hand. "How's my hand
looking? You think it'll have to be amputated, Doc?"

I look down at my handiwork and cringe at the way the Band-Aid is barely
sticking to his skin, peeling off as it follows the hills of his knuckles.

"I think that I could never be a doctor," I say with a small chuckle. "And I
blame my dad for buying Spider-Man

Band-Aids. He did it once when we were kids and now that's all he buys.
They aren't very good quality."

West chuckles with me and flexes his hand, causing the red and blue
spiderwebbed Band-Aid to pop off and we both laugh a little more. He
reaches onto the counter for the remaining Band-Aid, tearing it open and
easily placing it at the proper angle so that it stays attached to his skin. He
sends me a small smirk as he flexes his hand and it doesn't come off, to
which I pout at him in return.

"At least they aren't

Spongebob

themed?"

West chuckles and uses his good hand to tuck some hair behind my ear,
gently pulling my face closer to his to set a soft kiss on my lips.

"Thanks Sunshine."

I grin back at him and kiss him again, melting into the feel of his lips on
mine. His natural campfire scene is multiplied by the smell of the actual
bonfire and it takes over my senses. His lips are warm and inviting despite
the chill that was in the air, and he even has the taste of sweet chocolate on
his tongue.
We both begin to stand so that we can be closer and hold one another in
each other's arms as the kiss deepens. I have to stand partially on my toes,
causing me to lean further into his body with my hands on his strong chest.
His hand dances down my body and lands the back of my hip, holding me
securely against him while his other hand stays tenderly caressing my face.

In the back of my mind, I pray that my dad stays in the living room and out
of sight and that Toby and Alyse remain outside. But, the kitchen is perhaps
the worst room to try and kiss in privacy and seconds later I hear the back
door slide open and a quick squeak from Alyse. I pull away from West to
see her ushering Toby back outside with wide, sorry eyes on me.

I just grin and roll my eyes, motioning for her to bring Toby back inside.
West lets out a small grunt of reluctance and squeezes my hip before letting
go and settling for resting his arm around my waist as we face the other
two.

As Toby and Alyse start chatting, West leans down to whisper in my ear.

"My mom and Casper are dying to see you again. Dinner at my house
tomorrow night?"

I lean further into his side, tucking my head under his chin as I nod my
agreement.

OoO

The next day at school, I was lucky yet again since Warren never showed.
Tyler did, however, with his broken nose and two black eyes on full display.
Tina gushed worriedly all over him, loud enough to be heard across the
parking lot where he stayed as the rest of us drove in. I constantly felt him
looking at me, but I stayed tucked into West's side and refused to glance
Tyler's way.

It went like that for the rest of the day. Somehow, I was fortunate enough
that Tyler had a doctor's appointment to fix his nose he and missed the only
class we had together. Yet another conversation and person I'm able to
avoid, but a confrontation that I know is inevitable.
Now I'm in West's Jeep on the way to his house for dinner. He has the heat
cranked up because despite my sweater and winter jacket, it's still beyond
freezing. His mom won't be home for another hour or so, but West and I
both figured it was smarter to just go to his house straight after school.

As we leave the nicer parts of town and venture closer to West's home, he
reaches his hand across the console to take mine, sending me a smile as he
does so. We pull into his driveway and walk swiftly inside and out of the
cold.

"Last time you were here," he says as he shuts the door, "I joked to my
mom that we were dating. Trust me when I say that she is very excited that's
now reality."

I begin to take off my coat and chuckle. "She knows I got my voice back,
right?"

He takes my coat for me and hangs it up as he nods. "She does. She doesn't
know the full story, of course, but she knows you can talk again."

We make our way to his bedroom and I sit down on his bed, eyeing his
guitar with a grin.

"You also played your first song for me the last time I was here," I say.

He walks over and takes his guitar before sitting on the bed next to me,
scooting to rest his back against the far wall.

"I could play you something else."

I quirk a brow, "Did you have something prepared for this moment?"

He chuckles, "No, but there is a song I've been dying to sing."

"Let's hear it."

He eyes me and then sits up a little, "Only if you promise to sing with me."
That makes me straighten up in shock. My body nearly freezes and I
swallow hard.

"West..."

He sets his guitar to the side. "I know you used to sing. You have your voice
back now, there's nothing holding you back anymore."

"I haven't even tried to sing since getting it back and I don't even know
what song you want to play or-"

"Sunshine," West says, cutting me off with a small smile. "Singing isn't
something you just forget how to do. It's like riding a bike. And you'll know
the song, I promise. After all, it's your song."

Before I can protest anymore, West picks his guitar back up and starts
playing. And with just the first few chords, my heart melts and my whole
body fills with warmth.

West smiles tenderly at me, "I told you you'd know it."

And then he begins singing.

"You are my Sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy,

When skies are grey.

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take

My sunshine away."
He keeps the original chords going, pausing his own singing. Tears prick
the corners of my eyes as I look at him and his encouraging smile.

"Come on, I know you know it," he says.

"West... I don't know if I can," I whisper.

"You'll never know unless you try, right?"

And with that, he plays the original chords once more to sing the famous
chorus over again. He keeps his gaze locked on mine, brown eyes
encouraging me to join in. The little grin stuck to his lips makes it almost
impossible to refuse, and with a small smile of my own, I join in. After all,
what better song to sing for the first time in three years?

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are grey.

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take

My sunshine away."

West keeps playing, but his own voice falters and fades out. He watches me
with awestruck eyes, his jaw partially parted with a smile tugging the
corners of his lips up ever so slightly. That twinkle in his eyes is back full-
force, lighting up his whole face as he looks at me.

The lyrics flow almost effortlessly from my lips and I'm overwhelmed with
a sense of utter relief and happiness. I shut my eyes as I keep singing,
forcing myself to keep my tears of relief at bay. My voice comes out choked
with emotion, but I'm able to still sing clearly. As though I never had to
stop.

"The other night dear,

As I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you,

In my arms.

When I awoke dear,

I was mistaken.

So I hung my head

And I cried."

I meet West's gaze again, laughing breathlessly as my eyes well with my

tears of joy. A weight that I didn't even know was on my heart feels lifted as
I sing again, and West joins in with me.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy,

When skies are grey.

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take

My sunshine away."
The sound of his voice with mine fills my ears and my heart. We keep our
eyes locked on one another, both glimmering with pride and admiration.
And suddenly, I understand what the other reason was that caused West to
hold so much emotion to protect me from Tyler. The reason I yelled his
name that night.

"I'll always love you,

And make you happy.

And nothing else

Could come between.

But if you leave me

To allow another.

You'll have shattered

All of my dreams.

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are grey.

You'll never know dear

How much I love you.

Please don't take

My sunshine away."
As he plays the last chord, the tears welling in my eyes finally let one fall.
Silently, West sets his guitar down and comes closer to me, wiping the tear
away with the pad of his thumb before delicately holding my face in his
hands.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers. "You sound so beautiful."

And then he kisses me. Breathlessly and tenderly, full of more passion and
emotion than any kiss we've shared before. I rest my hand on the back of
his neck, threading my fingers through his hair as I begin to lay back on his
bed with him following. His hands leave my cheeks, one resting on the
pillow next to my head and the other trailing smoothly down my arm,
intertwining our fingers.

His body rests on mine and our breathing starts to find the same rhythm,
both of our hearts pounding uncontrollably fast from whatever emotion is
stirring deep within us. He kisses me slowly, tenderly, squeezing my hand
before letting it go to place his hand on the other side of my head.

The collar of his shirt tickles my chin as it hangs down, bathing me in more
warmth to protect from the chill flowing in through the crevices of his
window. However, when his body gently presses into mine and I feel his
natural reaction below, my mind goes blank and panic overrides everything
else. I suddenly feel trapped beneath him and his warmth turns to fire,
locking me in place and burning my skin.

I break the kiss without thinking and plant my hands on his chest, shoving
him off as my breathing becomes erratic and flashbacks dance in front of
my eyes. West instantly gets off of me, standing from the bed to give me
space as I quickly sit up. I try to control my rapid breathing, lifting a hand
to my chest as I shut my eyes tight and will my horrific thoughts away. My
bottom lip begins to quiver and I clench my eyes tighter and tighter, my jaw
clenching with them as I breath heavily through my nose.

"Sunshine? I'm sorry," West says, his voice panicked.

His voice helps me fight away another unwanted memory, another

unwanted feeling of his
hands on my body.

"Keep talking," I beg, still focused on controlling my breathing.

"It's okay, it's just me. I'm sorry, you're okay," West soothes the best he can,
alarm still in his tone.

I listen intently to his voice, willing it to remind me of where I am and who

I'm with. I'm here with West, not trapped in a room with him.

I'm safe. West is here. Eventually, my breathing slows and I open my eyes
to meet West's worried ones.

"Are you okay?" He asks, now kneeling beside the bed to be eye-level with
me.

I swallow down the tears that burn the back of my throat and nod. "I-I'm
sorry," I whisper, embarrassment flushing over me.

West reaches out to take my hands, holding them in his with his elbows
resting on the edge of the bed. He kisses my knuckles, his warm lips
helping me to stop shaking and he rests his chin atop our hands.

"Don't apologize, Sunshine. I should be apologizing. I shouldn't have

pushed you so hard o-or pressed into you like that I-"

"You didn't do anything wrong, though," I whimper, cutting him off. "I
just...I don't know. Something came over me and I-"

"It's okay," West hushes me, kissing my hands again. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. You weren't doing
anything wrong and I-I was enjoying the kiss I just-" another sob cuts me
off and I shake my head before letting it hang low.

West lets go of my hands and sits up slightly so that he can pull me into his
arms, soothingly rubbing my back as he softly shushes me.
"I know you were, Sunshine. We're going to take this one step at a time,
yeah?" He asks softly, pulling away slightly to meet my eyes.

I sniffle back the last of my tears and nod. "Can we try again?" I ask
sheepishly.

West furrows his brow and then smiles, letting out a small chuckle as he
nods. "If you're asking if we can kiss again, that answer is always

yes."

"I didn't freak you out?"

He shakes his head and squeezes me gently. "You scared me a little, but
that's only because I thought I did something wrong. But freak me out?
No."

He sits back next to me on the bed, laying down with a hand behind his
head as he sends me a grin.

"This time, though, you can be in full control."

I stare at him for a moment or two and he smirks.

"That means you get to be on top of me, Sunshine." He says slyly, then
quickly adds, "If you're comfortable with that."

I smile at him and hesitantly move so that my legs are straddling him, but I
sit slightly higher than his lap. He grins up at me, lifting his hand to gently
toss my blankets of hair behind my shoulders, fixing the few strands that
fell forward by tucking them behind my ear.

"I meant what I said, though. Your voice is absolutely breathtaking."

I grin and lean down closer, gently bumping my nose on his. "How long
have you been planning to sing that song?"

"I've been trying to figure out when to play it for you ever since the first
time you were here. I didn't know today would be that day, but I'm sure as
hell glad it was."

I nudge his nose softly one more time before kissing him again, letting my
shoulders relax when no other flashbacks resurface. I keep this kiss more
innocent and West does too, keeping a hand delicately on my jaw and the
other still behind his head rather than suggestively on my body. Soon, we
both hear the front door open as Libba gets home and I pull away, settling
for sitting next to him.

"Thank you," I say.

He sits up and kisses my forehead, sending me a small smile.

"You don't have to thank me for kissing you."

"I mean for not freaking out after earlier. It means a lot," I admit.

"One step at a time, right?"

I smile at him, heart filled with relief and nod. "Right."

---

9/9/2021 - The most important part of this chapter, to me, is Raine's panic
attack. In the original version, I don't think I accurately depicted a
survivor's reaction to getting intimate for the first time after their sexual
assault. I know this may not be true of every survivor, everyone has their
own story and their own way of coping/overcoming, but I felt this added to
her character and her experience. It shows that just because her and West
got together and she found her voice doesn't mean her battle is over.

Until next time!

(oh, also, please please please if you have TikTok go follow VTAdmissions!!
It's part of my job to gain more followers on that page and it would mean
that I could edit a bit quicker to reach our goal of hitting 3,500 soon!!!)
Chapter Thirty Eight (Edited
9/14/2021)
9/14/2021 - Lol so that's my LinkedIn & Instagram profile pic...not sure
why I included it but anyway! Here's another chapter for you lovely people.
I went back and read the original version of Raine seeing Casper and Libba
for the second time and all I can say is...how tf did you guys like this book
before I edited it LOL!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Eight

West opens his door, trying to do it as discreetly as possible as though the

door was never closed in the first place. As we walk into the hallway to
greet Libba, I'm met with a sudden chill from the cold air seeping in from
the partially open front door.

"Mom!" West calls, walking swiftly towards the ajar door when neither of
us see Libba standing in the doorway.

"I'm coming!" I hear her shrill voice shout back.

Seconds later, Libba gently kicks the door the rest of the way open and
enters in a worn winter jacket carrying two giant paper bags of groceries.
West instantly rushes to her side to take them away from her, confusion
written into his expression as he holds the brown bags and nearly drops one.

"What is all of this-"

"Raine!" Libba nearly squeals after shutting the door, effectively cutting
West off.

She quickly peels off her coat and scarf and takes the few small steps
needed to wrap me in a hug. This time, as opposed to the first time I met
her, I don't hesitate to hug her back and wrap my arms around her petite
frame.
"It is so good to see you again," she says as we pull apart.

"It's good to see you too," I say.

Her bright smile is on full display, causing a small crinkle by her eyes and it
brings a smile out in me as well. West has her smile.

"You have a beautiful voice," she compliments softly, squeezing my arms in

a friendly gesture.

Then, she turns to West who nearly drops one of the bags and dips his body
down to re-balance it.

"What is all of this for?" He asks again. "You never buy this much and
Tuesday's aren't your usual grocery shopping days."

Libba grins widely and puts her hands together. "I wanted to make a big
dinner for Raine tonight. So, I took the bus to the grocery store after work
and got everything we will need."

While my smile gets bigger from gratitude, I note the way West's smile
seems slightly forced and he eyes his mom, silently asking a question
through their gaze. Libba waves him off, either dismissing his idea or
requesting that he don't even ask it aloud.

The look in West's eye earlier wasn't just confusion when he took the bags
of groceries. He eyed them almost cautiously, unable to show full
excitement. My mind flashes back to the times of financial struggles they've
faced and my last dinner with them, but I try my hardest not to assume that
their looks are from monetary worry.

"Thank you so much, but you didn't have to go through all of this trouble
just for me." I say, making sure my tone matches my appreciation.

West notices that my smile drops and realizes I've seen their little
interaction, so he wipes away his concern and sends me a small, carefree
smirk as he starts down the hall towards the kitchen.
"Come on Sunshine, we'd do anything for you," he says. "What are you
making us, mom?"

"Not just me. All of us!"

West places the bags on the counter, creating a dull thud from the cans at
the bottom, and turns swiftly toward her. "

We're cooking?

What about Casper? Don't we need to go get him from after-school daycare
soon?"

Libba chuckles as she begins to pull the groceries from the bag. "I figured
you would say that. I arranged for one of the other mom's to give him a ride
here."

West groans and glances over at me with a pout.

"Help get us out of this?"

"You did say you'd do anything for me...isn't cooking me dinner included?"

Libba catches us signing and crosses her arms as she turns, leaning her back
against the counter. She has a tiny smirk on her lips as she eyes us, quirking
a brow.

"I may not know sign language, but I have a sneaking suspicion you just
asked her for an excuse of some sort."

I have to cover my mouth to hide my smile, but Libba catches it and smirks
to herself.

"Well, there's my answer," she hums. "This is going to be fun! I looked up

recipes online during my lunch break and found the perfect one: a five-star
lasagna recipe. Now, this is going to take two hours or so, which is why I
got home a little early. If we start now we can eat by seven."
"A frozen lasagna wouldn't have sufficed?" West asks, helping her pull the
groceries from the last bag.

Libba rolls her eyes and lightly hits his shoulder with a pack of Italian
seasoning.

"I thought you'd be more excited for a home-cooked meal like this."

"Or at least excited to cook for your girlfriend," I chime in, bumping his hip
as I start laying out the ingredients on the counter in the order we'll need
them.

I realize that this is the first time I've announced myself as West's girlfriend
and a blush dusts my cheeks. West notices too and pauses what he's doing,
shifting his attention to me with a small smile.

It may have already been obvious that we are dating. He said it himself
earlier and ever since our first kiss neither of us have shied away from
showing our affection. But until now, neither of us have truly labeled what
our relationship is. Maybe neither of us felt the need to point out the
obvious, but I suppose saying it out loud makes it official.

However, we both turn to look at Libba standing behind us when we hear

the sound of an early generation iPhone camera go off. Libba is standing
behind us, her phone held horizontally in her raised arms, with a giddy
smile as looks at us through the screen.

"Mom! Seriously?" West groans as his head hangs back.

"I wanted to capture the moment!" She defends, quickly pulling up the
picture for us to see. "I don't have a lot of pictures of you recently, West. I
need to start making up for lost time."

At that, West's eyes cast down and he sighs as he puts his arm around her
for a small hug. Meanwhile, I look at the picture she captured. While I've
always been able to see the way West looks at me, I've never seen the way I
look at him. A flashback to the other night stirs in my mind and I recall
West's words when we laid cuddled on the couch, finally calmed from the
events of the weekend.

Because of the way you looked at me when we pulled apart. It's the same
way I've looked at you since the first time you taught me sign language.

In the photo, I'm looking at him with a light blush on my cheeks, but not
enough for my whole face to be red. There's a beautiful wonder in my gaze,
and a small, captivated grin lighting my lips. There is one slight difference
in our gazes, however. While I have a sense of wonder, West's smile is more
marveling, more knowing, as he looks at me.

I shift my attention to West rather than the photo on Libba's phone and see
his eyes already on me.

He nods down at the picture and then smirks lightly. "You figure it out yet?"

Libba puts her phone in her pocket and hugs the both of us again before I'm
able to give West a response, though I'm honestly not sure what I could
have said. Of course, I think

I figured it out. The feeling that we have floating between us. But, is that
something I'm ready to admit to myself? Much less out loud to him?

As we all begin prepping the ingredients for our lasagna and start cooking,
stories are shared of West as a kid and some of the trouble he got into, and I
share stories of Toby and I and the pranks we used to pull on our dad when
we were little. Libba shocks me when she runs easily through the recipe, as
though she has professional cooking experience, and helps guide West and I
through it all.

Turns out, before Libba had West she was working under a head Chef at a
restaurant down the road from her childhood home, despite her young age.
She loved cooking, but ever since having West and Casper and working
full-time, she hasn't had the time to come back to cooking in the caliber she
wishes. Knowing that she was so excited to cook a completely home-made
meal with West and I warms my heart and makes me truly feel like a part of
the family.

Whenever Libba comes to my side to help me with a specific instruction in

the recipe, I feel West's fond gaze on us and every now and then I'll sneak a
look over at him to which he always responds with a smirk.

A short while later, we hear the front door open and wild footsteps running
down the hall with a backpack of books thudding with each step. Casper
comes into the kitchen, a smile taking up his whole face as he runs toward
me.

"Raine!"

He catapults himself into me for a hug and I stumble back slightly while I
chuckle, kneeling down to hug him back.

"Hey Casper," I grin.

"I knew it!" He says, showing me a smile with a missing tooth.

I tilt my head, "Knew what?"

He blushes slightly and shyly looks down at his shoe. "That you would have
a pretty voice. West told us all about it."

I turn my head to look over at West who is standing by the stove with an
apron on and a spatula in hand, listening in but not looking our way.

"Did he now?" I say with a small smirk of my own, but West just grins and
continues to stir the food in the pan.

Casper nods, "He did! But he also seemed kinda sad that day and I thought
that was weird since it was the day you got your voice back. He hadn't been

that

sad since he came home from his long vacation."

My smile falters upon hearing Casper's innocent statement. I know he's
referring to Saturday and everything that had happened between West and I,
but my smile drops further at his reference to West's time in juvie. Casper
probably was too young to fully understand the depth of the situation when
West had to leave, and even today he seems to only know a little of what
happened.

The mood of the room shifts and Libba pauses as she creates the cheese mix
for the lasagna, her knife clattering a bit when she sets it down and frowns.

I snap my sorrowful eyes to West, but he quickly sets his spatula down and
walks over to Casper and I. He kneels down in front of Casper and shakes
his head.

"I was only sad that day because I had let someone down who I really care
about," West explains gently. "Luckily for me, she forgave me."

He adds the last part with a small smile sent my way, reminding me that
Saturday's events are behind the two of us. We both admitted our mistakes
and rose from the ashes of the fires we created in each other. Now, those
fires burn for a whole different reason than anger.

Casper pulls on West's arm a little, bringing his attention back to Casper.

"West? Can I ask her now?" He tries to whisper to West as he not so subtly
nods over to me. I haven't met an elementary schooler who could properly
whisper without the entire room hearing.

West nods, "Go ahead."

"Raine, can you still teach me how to sign? I have a show-and-tell project
next week and I want to show off my sign language!"

My face lights up with his and I nod. "Of course. After dinner I'll teach you
whatever you want to learn, yeah?"

Somehow, his smile gets even bigger and my expression softens. I notice
the same little crinkle forming by his eye as his mom and brother.
"Casper, sweetie, can you go and clean up your toys and books from the
living room before dinner?" Libba asks as she opens the door to their old,
slightly worn down white fridge that has pictures of Casper and West lining
it.

There's an awkward gap in the photos of West. There are baby pictures,
pictures of him as a toddler, but as he reaches Casper's age and through
middle school, the pictures become few and far between. My heart drops
when I realize that Jason must have put such a cast of fear over this family
that there was no happiness worthy of capturing.

"Do I have to? I just got this cool new book from the school library," Casper
says, running to the chair to place his backpack down and go searching
around to find it.

West takes off his apron and walks over to Casper, placing it around his
shoulders and chuckling as it hangs down well below his knees from his
small height.

"Come on little man, help Mom out," West says, ruffling up Casper's hair.
"I'll even help you."

Casper's pout turns into a grin and he nods, turning and running straight for
the living room. West walks over to me and leans down, setting a warm kiss
on my cheek.

"I know my mom wants to have some time to talk to you one on one," West
whispers in my ear before pulling away. "She wants to get to know you
better."

I turn my face and nod at him, unable to resist giving him a small kiss. His
lips instantly turn up in a smile and he kisses me again, and I have to hold
in a laugh when I hear Libba quickly set her cheese grater down and grab
her phone to 'capture another moment.' We pull apart before she can and
West sends me a wink as he goes to the living room.

"You two seem to have come a long way since the last time I saw you,"
Libba muses.
"A lot has happened in the last five days," I say with a small chuckle. "It
finally pushed us both to admit our feelings."

"I knew right away how you two felt about each other," she admits. "I also
know that one of the things that happened, was West told you about why he
went to juvie."

I snap my eyes to Libba who has paused preparing the cheese for the
lasagna, putting her attention on me.

I slowly begin to nod as I piece together where this is going. "He did."

"And, consequently, he told you about Jason and all that happened with
him," she says carefully. "I hope...I hope you understand that letting

him

back into our lives wasn't an easy decision for me. We were close to losing
the house and I didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to. When
Jason came back, he seemed like a changed man and he is Casper's father.
He actually had a savings that would help us with the finances and I let him
back in with so many conditions and-"

"Libba," I say as her voice gets higher and more defensive, rushing her
words to try and justify her actions. "You don't have to explain yourself to
me. I haven't been in your shoes so I would never judge you for making a
decision that I could never fully understand. West and Casper are both such
amazing people and I know that's all credited to you."

Her shoulders instantly relax as a weight is lifted from them and she sends
me a grateful smile. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

I chuckle, but it disappears as I turn fully toward her. "I'm so sorry that you
had to experience the things Jason put you all through."

Libba sighs and shakes her head, "Thank you. Not just for saying that, but
also for making West the happiest I've ever seen him. I was so afraid that
everything he has been through would turn him into a hateful person, was
afraid that when he finally came home he would be a different person.
But...since he met you, he's proved himself to be the opposite of the only
male role-model he has had."

I smile at her, "Thank you, but I don't think you can credit that to me. He
wants to be this way for you and Casper."

My words must resonate deep within Libba, because they send a tear to her
eye and she turns fully toward me, reaching out to give me a hug. I wrap
my arms around her, feeling comforted by the motherly love she's pouring
into me that I've longed for for so long.

"West never told me your story, and I'm not going to pry, but whatever it
may be and however little I know you, you have one of the strongest
characters of anyone I've met," she says into our hug.

I squeeze her a little tighter, fighting back the oncoming tears that want to
make their presence known.

We both pull apart when we hear the familiar sound of an iPhone camera
going off and we turn to see West standing in the doorway to the kitchen
with his phone in hand.

"Yep, that one's a keeper," he says as he swipes through his phone to look at
it.

Libba quirks a brow at him, "Were you eavesdropping?"

He puts his phone in his back pocket and leans against the doorframe. "I
wasn't. Casper wanted me to grab his backpack that has his other books and
I just happened to walk in to see two of my favorite people hugging instead
of cooking."

"Good food takes time," she chirps.

"How much time? Casper and I are starving," he nearly whines.

I laugh, "Then get your butts in here and help us so we can eat sooner."
West grins at me, "Yes ma'am."

An hour later, we all sit down at the table to eat dinner and laugh Casper's
stories about his day in school and his retelling of some of the books he's
read. And I look around the table and those that surround me, my heart
soars with fulfillment.

---

9/14/2021 - This is not the end! I have about 3 more chapters to give you all
before this book is finally completed. I hope you enjoyed reading this
chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget to go follow my
Instagram where I recently posted a book giveaway!
Chapter Thirty Nine (Edited
12/12/2021)
12/12/2021- Hi again everyone. Thank you to those of you who were patient
with me, it means a lot. I'm currently a senior in college & life has been
crazy busy in ways I never imagined. I barely had time for myself the last
few months. I couldn't even think the word "hobby" before there was
something else I had to do for school and/or work. BUT, finals and the
semester are over and I wanted to give you all an update. Enjoy!!

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty Nine

The next day, I don't get as lucky avoiding Warren at school. As Toby drives
into the school parking lot, a sense of dread washes over me and I spot
Warren's black Audi in its usual parking place.

"You okay?" Alyse asks, reaching for my hand as Toby puts his truck in
park.

Toby glances over his shoulder at us, eyes swamped with worry as he
watches me and analyzes my reaction.

Panic begins bubbling deep in my chest, constricting it and making me

breathe deeper to feel like anything is reaching my lungs. The fact is that I
don't know if I'm okay. I had such an amazing night with West and his
family, and came home to my dad and Toby downstairs watching football
together and pulling me in to watch with them.

For the first time in a long time, I felt normal. I could react just like them to
the game, could laugh and add my input into their awful dad jokes, and was
able to text my boyfriend the whole time without any worry washing over
me.
That feeling of normalcy was gone the second I spotted Warren's Audi in
the parking lot.

I begin fiddling with my black wristband, thoughts soaring through my

mind of what act Warren may pull today. Is he going to smear my name? Is
he going to taunt me? Is he going to back me into a corner and make me
relive the events again?

"Raine," Toby says, taking me away from my thoughts. "This isn't a game,
remember?"

I open my mouth to respond, but icy fear shoots down my spin when
nothing comes out. Alyse is the first to notice, and she quickly takes my
hand in hers, giving it a squeeze of love.

"Hey, it's okay," she tries to soothe.

I swallow hard and begin to nod, but a feeling of uneasiness washes over
me again when nothing comes out as I try to say thank you. My hand starts
shaking in hers, not reacting to her attempt to calm me down. My eyes
instantly shut when the world around me feels like it's closing in and the
scent of Toby's cologne suddenly shifts to start smelling like

his.

I try to picture West's brown eyes instead of the icy cold one's that are
threatening to appear. I force myself to regulate my breathing.

In

One, two three.

Hold. One, two, three.

Out. One, two, three.

Alyse's hand slips from my grip for only a second, coming back stronger
and warmer. This time it engulfs my hand rather than matching my size, and
it's rough around the fingertips. I ignore that, though, and continue to focus
on my breathing, finally changing the icy eyes to the beautiful brown of
West. It works so well that the repugnant odor of Warren's cologne
disappears and is replaced with the savory campfire aroma that surrounds
West.

And, when I open my eyes, I recoil slightly when the image of West's eyes
doesn't go away. Instead, they're right in front of me, filled with concern. I
blink a few times, trying to convince myself that my eyes are, in fact, open
and not still closed. Then I shift my gaze to the hand in mind, follow it up to
the muscular arm filling out a black long-sleeve shirt, and meet his eyes
again.

Behind West, the door to Toby's truck is ajar and Alyse and Toby are
standing next to it, West's Jeep behind them.

My gaze slowly shifts back to West and my shoulders finally relax. His free
hand comes up and rests delicately on my cheek, the tender touch matching
his gaze.

"I'm here, Sunshine."

I let out a shaky breath and lean into his hand, squeezing the one held
tightly in mine.

"I know," I manage to say, and in that moment a weight goes tumbling off
of my shoulders. My voice isn't gone. It's still here, and Warren can't take
that away from me again.

Behind West, I notice Alyse let out her own giant breath of relief, turning to
curl into Toby's arms.

"Are you okay?" West asks quietly.

My lips twitch up at the corners. "How cliché would it be if I said I am now

that you're here?"
"About as cliché as you manifesting your knight in shining armor to come
to your aid just now."

I can't stop the blush that dusts my cheeks and I gently shove his knee.
"Who says I was thinking about you?"

"Because, Sunshine, you can't even stare discreetly in your own mind."

I narrow my eyes at him with a small pout, but it only makes him smile.

"One of these days you're going to be wrong and your cunning little
remarks are going to make you embarrass yourself," I retort.

West shrugs, a smirk ghosting his lips. "For all I know I'm wrong every
time, you just don't know how to play it off as if I am."

I take my hand from his to cross my arms as I make some sort of grumble
as my response. West chuckles and leans closer, guiding my face to his. He
gives me a second to back away if needed, but I just close the small gap and
his lips meet mine. He kisses me softly, a reassurance that no matter what
happens I

will

be okay.

"You can do this," he says softly when our lips part, referring to surviving
the school day with Warren in attendance.

With newfound strength, I hold my head high and we step out of Toby's
truck. West takes my backpack for me, and the four of us begin walking
into school and towards my locker with Gray meeting us there. However, I
don't have long to relax because within minutes, Warren makes his presence
known.

His face is still black and blue from Toby's vengeful fist, only his
expression doesn't match the wounds he possesses. His smirk is just as vile
as I remember, and when his icy eyes meet mine, I have to fight with every
natural instinct I have not to cower and run away.
Instead, I swallow away my fear and reach for West's hand. Both to boost
my own strength, and to ensure he doesn't lunge forward and attack Warren.
I know how badly he wants to, and I can't lie and say that I don't want that
too. But more than wanting Warren to get what he has always had coming
to him, I want West to never have to leave his family again by ending up
back in juvie.

I shift my gaze from Warren to West's eyes that are dark with a deep,
terrifying anger. His focus is zeroed in on the manila folder in Warren's
hands.

Toby opens his mouth to tell Warren to piss off, but I don't want the others
to have to defend me anymore. I don't want to have to fear my voice going
away just because Warren is near.

"You need to leave. Now." I say, causing the others to snap their eyes to me
for a brief moment of surprise.

Warren shifts his gaze to me, and I fight back the vile memory of his hands
all over me.

"So you really did get your voice back," he muses darkly. "What does one
say to that? Congratulations?"

West slightly steps in front of me, free hand clenched into a fist I know he's
ready to throw at any moment.

"Do what she says," West says lowly.

"Well now, I've never done that," Warren remarks cockily as his lips split
into a slimy grin and his snakelike eyes shift to West. "Why start now?"

West goes to lunge forward, but I squeeze his hand hard to root him into
place. He snaps his raging gaze over to me and I shake my head.

"He just wants to get a reaction out of you,"

I sign the best I can with my free hand.

West stares at me for a second or two before his jaw clenches and he takes a
small step back, hand tense in mine.

"Let's just go," Alyse says, her disgusted eyes moving from Warren to the
rest of us.

I send her a small look to say thank you and tug on West's hand to start
walking, but before any of us can move, Warren speaks up.

"Calm down, I'm not here for her. I'm here for you," he says, eyes zeroing in
on West.

"I have nothing to say to you," West grits out, "Let's go." Now he tugs
gently on my hand and we all begin walking with him, no one uttering a
single protest.

"I went digging in my dad's office the other day," Warren yells after us,
"Started asking him some questions about your family and I found this."

West stops walking. His shoulders tense up. I watch with wide, worried
eyes as he once again takes Warren's bait and looks over his shoulder.
Warren holds up the manila folder in his hand.

"Pretty interesting stuff if you ask me," he says, opening it up to glance at it

as he walks closer to us.

"West, dude, let's go," Toby says, but West stays firmly planted as he stares,
unwavering, at the folder in Warren's grasp.

"Here," Warren says as he stops in front of us, closing the folder and
stretching out his hand to give it to West. "I think you'll want to read this."

However, West doesn't move. For a few painfully slow seconds, he stays
still as a statue. The only thing tender about him is the hold he has on my
hand.

He stares Warren down, calculating thoughts circling through his mind. The
rest of us stay silent, afraid to speak up or move from the tension in the air.
Even the students around us have started to notice the shift in the hallway,
slowing their paces to avoid walking past any of us but unable to turn away
as curiosity pulses in their veins.

After what feels like a lifetime, West takes the folder from Warren but keeps
his gaze tight on him.

"Okay, you've given me the folder. Now leave."

"Read it." Warren says, a terrifying excitement causing his lips to curl up
and it sends a chill down my spine.

West's hands tighten on the folder and he cautiously opens it, slipping his
hand from mine. He keeps an eye on Warren to ensure he doesn't make any
sudden movements before he begins to read whatever it is that Warren
handed him.

My entire body goes cold at West's reaction. His face goes pale. His
breathing stops. I think I even see his heart stop for a moment. His eyes
devour every word on the page, widening the more he reads, and his hands
begin to shake slightly. Suddenly, there's disbelief and fear in his eyes.

"West," I say, ditching my fear of Warren to step closer to West and be by

his side. "West, what's wrong?"

To my horror, West flinches away from me, keeping his eyes tight on the
contents of the folder with his brows scrunched together in torment.

"I..." he says, his words failing him.

"What is it?"

I try to come closer to him again and he finally lifts his gaze from the folder
to look at me, and my heart drops deep in my stomach as his eyes cloud
with fear and anguish. He holds my gaze for only a second or two before
flinching away and swallowing hard.

He shuts the folder in an instant, backing away from all of us.

"I- I have to go," he says, his breathing suddenly faster and heavier. I reach
out for him, but he once again winces away.

"West, talk to me. What does it say?" I ask, but he ignores me and the others
and turns to rush away, the sea of students parting for him.

"West!" I yell, beginning to run after him.

He pauses for a second, body tensing as he glances over his shoulder at me,
but something in his expression makes me stop. He stares at me for a
moment and the rest of the hallway disappears from my mind as I focus on
the look in his wide eyes. Then, he drops my gaze and slightly shakes his
head with guilt and turns to continue on his way, barging through the doors
and to the parking lot.

I stand there, staring after him as the others rush over to my side.

A look of tormented fear took over his expression. But that fear wasn't
directed toward me or Warren.

It was directed at himself.

---

12/12/2021- Leave your best guesses as to what was in the folder! For my
re-readers...you may have an idea, but for the FTR, I am very curious to
your thoughts! I am on winter break, so I want to finish this book within the
month!
Chapter Forty (Edited 1/7/2022)
1/7/2022- Whoops...it has now taken me from 2020 to 2022 to finish the
edits to this book. I am so sorry that it has taken me so long, but I genuinely
promise the end is coming before I go back to school on the 18th. All I hope
is that the edits were worth it to you guys. I genuinely think I took this book
from a moving storyline with mediocre writing and immature scenes, to a
mature, deeper story altogether.

Silently Falling: Chapter Forty

Once West disappears from my view I'm left there, stunned. Too stunned to
move. Too stunned to speak. Until my eyes shift to

him.

He's

the reason I lost my voice for three years.

He's

the reason I'll have to spend my whole life healing from the damage he
caused.

He's

the reason I've never let myself fully open up to a guy before West came
into my life.

He's

the reason West just took on a look of fear and guilt that I've never seen him
wear before.

His family
is the reason West had to spend months away from Casper and Libba,
getting wrongly locked up when all he did was act in self-defense.

Everything is

his

fault.

Warren.

I can't help myself. Any fear I've held towards him for the last three years
seems to be released from my body, shifting instantly to nothing but rage.

"What was in that folder!" I yell, shocking every other person in the
hallway, including Warren.

He was gloating. Staring down the hall with a triumphant, slimy grin. West
gave him the exact reaction he was looking for when he handed West the
folder and his vile smirk is deadlier than I've ever seen it. He only allows
my outburst to faze him for a second, quickly replacing his shock with more
arrogance.

"Just something to make him realize what he really is. And, news flash, it's
not the guy he's tricked all of you into thinking he is."

His words send a slice of fear to my heart, but my anger continues to

override any other emotion. Maybe it's the adrenaline. Maybe it's the fact I
was silent against Warren for years. Maybe it's the feelings I know West and
I share, so anything Warren says against him can't break what we have
between us.

Whatever it may be, I know there is nothing left to hold me back from
ruining Warren.

I'm done letting Warren control my life. I'm done cowering away every time
he's around. I'm done giving him satisfaction every time he gains the
reaction from me that he thrives off of. I'm done allowing him to instill
insurmountable fear in me.
When it was only me he was messing with it was something I was able to
handle. But now...now that he's somehow gotten through to West, all I can
see is red. I'm no longer afraid of the monster in front of me. I'm disgusted,
angry, and I want to finally defeat him.

"This is just another ploy to make sure West keeps his mouth shut, isn't it?"
I accuse. "Now that you broke your end of the

deal,

you're too scared that West will reveal who you truly are!"

A hush falls over the hallway, despite it being almost silent before. There
were murmurs going around. Rumors already beginning to spread on why
Warren was able to have

the

West Love seemingly run away in fear.

Warren's icy eyes widen a fraction upon the realization that I know about
their stupid deal, and I continue. For the first time, I know I have control
over this situation. Over him.

"Yeah, I know all about your

deal,

" I confirm. "I know you threatened to tell everyone why he went to juvie
and I know he was able to keep your mouth shut by threatening to expose to
everyone what you did to me."

Warren stiffens, but he doesn't back down yet. "As if he'd actually go and
tell anyone. I just realized that too late."

My blood boils. He's so confident that his hold on me, a hold that has kept
me silent for so many years, will keep me silent forever. But I've found my
voice. Until now, I just haven't known what to do with it.
"You know, Warren," I start, nearly scoffing. I'm no longer yelling, my
voice is dangerously low. "You're so confident that our little 'secret' will
stay that way. So confident that because they care about me, no one will
speak up and say what you did."

I feel Toby, Gray, and Alyse stiffen behind me. From the corner of my eye, I
notice Gray step forward presumably to stop me, but Toby sticks his arm
out. His eyes are set on me, deep determination in them to let me finish
what I'm starting, and he gives me a nod. I shift to look at Alyse, and
though she doesn't seem as confident in what I'm about to do as Toby, she
takes in a deep breath and gives me a firm nod. I know they're all behind
me. I know they have my backs. My attention goes back to Warren.

"I've been bound to this secret for

three years.

So bound by fear that I couldn't even

talk!

But you shouldn't have been so focused on keeping West's mouth shut or so
confident that mine would stay that way, because I've found my voice. And
I am not staying silent anymore."

Despite the way my voice raises with every word, I manage not to sound
hysterical. Instead, I sound strong. Confident. And, for the first time,
Warren actually looks fearful of

me.

The egotistical look in his eye is completely gone, replaced instead with
dread that reeks cowardice.

I can hear the blood pounding in my ears, can hear West's voice in my head
as he tells me how strong I am, how I've overcome so much. I can't look
directly at Warren, but with shaking hands and a strong voice, I don't hold
back.
"I trusted you, thought we were friends. But you got me drunk at a party,
promised to take care of me, carried me up to a spare bedroom where you
knew no one would come find me, locked me inside, a-and-" I pause,
setting my jaw as I snap my unyielding gaze to stare into his chilling,
malicious eyes. "And then you raped me."

Now it's Warren's turn to be thrown into silence. A chill passes through the
air as all of my fellow classmates stare at Warren, some backing away
hesitantly while others faces contort into looks of disgust and fear.

"She's lying," Warren scoffs, but it's clear how panicked he is. He looks
around the hall, swallowing hard when he takes in everyone's expression
and tries to laugh it off, but he just comes off as uncomfortable. "Clearly
she's lying!"

But the damage is done. Whether my classmates want to believe it or not,

I've spoken it into existence. Every teacher, student, and administrator in the
hallway heard what I said. He can't hide from this anymore. Then, in the
back of the crowd, my eyes find Tyler. I don't meet his gaze, instead my
attention shifts to the school resource officer next to him, with Tyler's hand
around his wrist as if Tyler dragged him here to witness my accusation
against Warren. A small part of my heart warms when Tyler lightly shoves
the officer in the direction of Warren, saying something that I can picture
being similar to: "Isn't this the part where you go over there, guns blazing,
and pin him to the ground and cuff him? Go!"

I have a lot of anger toward Tyler and I know that it's completely
rationalized, but despite the awful thing he did, I know I can never hate
him. This small act alone reminds me of the great guy I've always known
Tyler to be and someday I know he and I will reconcile. I just need time.

With my heart still racing, I step back and into the awaiting eyes of Gray,
Alyse, and Toby.

"Raine..." Toby says, a look of disbelief on his eyes but pride radiating off
of him, "You did it."
In a second he pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly. Though Warren
is still only a few steps behind me, I don't need to feed off of any of Toby's
strength. I've finally found my own.

"I'm so proud of you," Alyse murmurs, forcing herself into the hug, but I
don't mind. I hug her just as tightly.

"Is there room for one more?" Gray asks, wrapping his arms around us.
"You just did that, Raine. You have become

so

strong."

I let out a small breath of relief and allow myself to melt into their hug, but
despite their comfort, there's only one pair of arms I want to be in right now.
I've only won half of this battle. I still need to find out what was in that
folder and make sure West is okay.

"West," I murmur and they all take a small step back. "I need to find West."

Toby instantly nods, grabbing his car keys from where they're attached to a
belt loop on his jeans. "Come on. I'll drive you wherever you need to go."

"I'm coming with you," Alyse says, leaving no room for debate.

"I'll stay here and see what happens," Gray reasons, eyeing the resource
officer as he begins parting the crowd and to walk to Warren. "One of us
should stay back and see how this unfolds. You three go do what you need
to do, I'll keep you updated."

With a nod of agreement, Alyse, Toby, and myself rush towards the school
doors and to Toby's truck as I wrack my brain for all the potential places
West could have gone and try to figure out

what the hell

could have been in that folder.

---

We drive to West's house first, unsure of where else to go. As Toby pulls
quickly into the driveway, I run out of the truck before he can even put it in
park. He and Alyse stay in the car as I run to the front door, frantically
knocking and praying that West opens it despite the fact his Jeep isn't in the
driveway.

The door instantly opens, and I swear it's almost like it's in slow motion. I
picture West standing on the other side, with a lazy smirk and a
mischievous look in his eye as he chuckles and says he was only messing
around. But he isn't the person I find standing on the other side, in his place
is Libba. And she's crying. Within a second, I step closer and lightly reach
out to rest my hands on her shoulders, trying to provide comfort.

"What happened, Libba? What's wrong? Is West okay? Is Casper?" I throw

a slew of questions at her, but I can't help myself. Something feels off. The
hairs on the back of my neck have been standing up ever since West was
handed the folder, and I haven't been able to get rid of the pit in my
stomach.

"I-I don't know," she cries, another sob escaping her.

Her words do nothing to calm the growing pit in my stomach, but now my
heart aches as I watch tears stream down Libba's cheeks. I pull her into my
arms, spinning us gently so that we end up inside and I go to close the door
behind us. I catch Toby and Alyse standing outside his truck with their
respective doors opened and eyes questioning me on whether or not to
follow me inside, but I shake my head. They look at one another before
slowly descending back into the truck, closing the doors behind them.

"What happened?" I ask Libba as I shut the door behind us.

The scene inside makes my blood go cold. The entire house seems torn
apart. The office has papers strewn everywhere, the office chair is flipped
over, in the living room the couch cushions are thrown across the floor, and
the coffee table is a mess with spilled coffee dripping off every few seconds
onto the carpet.
"West came here and I was preparing to leave for work, but he stopped me
with an expression I've never seen on his face before..." she trails off,
shaking her head as she recalls the look in his eye.

I recall it too. It chilled me to the bone.

"He was so angry," she whispers. "He started yelling at me, running around
the house, and throwing things around. I tried to get him to talk to me, but
when he did he just started accusing me of things he never should have
known about in the first place!"

More sobs take her over as she throws her head in her hands and her body
begins to shake.

"Oh God,

he knows. He was never supposed to know!"

"Knows what?" I ask, my voice coming out small, scared.

She shakes her head slightly, as if trying to understand it all herself. "He
had this folder..."

"Warren gave it to him. Warren Snow."

Her eyes snap to mine and her face pales. "Nathanial Snow's son?" I nod to
confirm. "It all makes sense now. Of course he would have access to it," she
says, almost to herself.

"Libba. Please, just tell me what's going on. Is West okay? What does
Nathanial have access to?"

She shakes her head, almost afraid to say anymore, but then she walks over
to the living room that's been thrown all around and I spot the folder on the
floor, just inches shy of being ruined by the spilled coffee cup. She bends
down to grab it, pausing before standing up with her eyes closed,
contemplating if she should give it to me or not.
My heart breaks because she suddenly looks small. Tired. And I now truly
recognize how hard her life has been. Her parents kicked her out when she
got pregnant with West and in order to pay her bills she married an abusive
man who in turn got her pregnant with a second child, only for that man to
ultimately land her eldest son in juvie.

She finally stands back up and takes a deep, shaky breath, walking back to
me and handing over the folder.

"This

is what Nathanial has access to."

I hesitantly take the folder, keeping my eyes on her in search of approval to

look through its contents.

She sniffles and refuses to look away from the folder as she gives me a
small nod. "It's okay, Raine. Go ahead and open it. You deserve to know,
too."

I slowly open the folder. Then my blood runs cold.

THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS

vs

WILLIAM JACKSON

RAPE IN THE FIRST DEGREE

"What is..."

My voice trails off the more I read, my eyes devouring every word on the
page despite suddenly wishing I had never been handed this folder in the
first place.

The plaintiff: Libba Love.

Exhibit A: various pictures of bruising on her body, proving something
forceful occurred.

Exhibit B: an ultrasonogram.

My entire body tenses as realization dawns on me. Libba was raped and
West is the result.

---

1/7/2022 - Raise your hand if you're shocked! I'm sure my #rr's aren't too
shocked considering I conveniently left that conversation out during Raine's
heart-to-heart with Libba a few chapters back. Let me know what you all
think! Another chapter should be uploaded tomorrow, so be on the lookout!
We are nearing the finish line!!!!
Chapter Forty One (Edited
1/8/2022)
1/8/2022 - After this chapter, I'm thinking I will only have 1 more regular
chapter and then an epilogue. Thank you all for sticking with me and the
updates, I'm so glad you all think it was worth it! Oh, also, you're welcome
in advance.

Thank you YumYumHarryStyles for the cover! Interesting username lol

Silently Falling: Chapter Forty One

My gaze cautiously moves from the documents to Libba. Her watery,

regretful eyes are stuck to the folder as if too afraid to meet my stare. She
looks scared. Somehow even smaller than before. Her laughter lines are
nowhere to be seen, only the frown lines etched into her skin that I've not
noticed before.

The ashamed and lost in her eye sends something piercing through my
heart. I know that look all too well. I used to see it every time I looked in
the mirror.

We know we're victims. We know we did nothing to deserve the sick and
twisted acts of our attackers. We know that we are not to blame. But that
knowledge does little to erase the disgust with ourselves, our bodies, our
minds. It does little to banish the thoughts of being too weak to fend for
ourselves. No matter how many people speak up to say how strong we are
for surviving and still finding a way to smile, and no matter how long we've
been healing, there will always be a small voice in the back of our minds
threatening to remind us of the worst of it.

Without words, I step forward and throw my arms around Libba's petite
frame. She's shocked at my reaction and it hurts to know she was probably
anticipating hatred or backlash from me. After all, when West found out he
presumably tore the house apart in anger, but I know West. I know he could
never be angry with Libba for what happened to her.

The look in his eye comes back to my mind and a shutter goes through my
body. He may not be angry with Libba, but that just begs the question of
what he

is

angry at. Then there's the question of the fear and guilt in his eyes... is he
afraid of this man, William?

"I am so sorry, Libba," I whisper.

"Thank you, Raine," she says, giving me one more squeeze before she pulls
back. I sense with her deep breath that she's about to open up, so I make
sure to remain quiet.

"I was attacked right after I graduated high school. I was walking home late
from my chef training. It was dark, cold. Too cold for my thin sweater to
protect me from the chill. I had chosen to take a short-cut through the bad
part of town to make it back home quicker. That decision changed my entire
life. He attacked me from the shadows... I really never stood a fighting
chance."

My heart pounds painfully against my chest and my breathing becomes too

fast, but I push my own memories aside to let her continue. Her eyes get a
far away look as she recalls her horrid memory and she quickly shakes her
head to stop picturing

him.

"Thankfully a cop was patrolling nearby. He didn't get there in time to stop
it, but he got there in time to see a bloodied and bruised woman nearly
passed out in an alley. He caught William fleeing around the corner and
arrested him right there. I took him to court, but the trial date took so long
to be set that before the trial even began I-I found out that I was pregnant."
Her voice has gone down to a whisper, chin quivering for a moment or two.

"My parents wanted me to get rid of the baby. They were disgusted by the
thought of it and couldn't believe that I would even consider keeping it. To
them, the baby was only a reminder of the heinous thing that happened to
me and could be worth nothing more than evidence against William. But I-I
didn't see it that way. I wanted to keep it. After William attacked me, I tried
so hard to search for a reason. All I found were ones that blamed me. Then
suddenly, when I discovered I was pregnant, I found a reason that helped
me heal, not blame myself or live in unhealthy hatred of my attacker. The
reason was to bring West into the world. It was like my light when I felt
trapped in eternal darkness."

Now, the frown lines etched into her skin begin to smooth out as her lips
take on a tiny, faraway smile, but it's gone too soon as her story continues.

"I had West despite my parents wishes for me not to, so they kicked me out.
I didn't have siblings or a close relationship with any other family members,
so it was just the two of us. I raised him on my own for a while, until I met
Jason. And, well, you know how that ended up. I never told West who his
real father was, I thought it was best if I kept it a secret. I knew I would
have to tell West someday, but I never knew how. And when the day did
come to tell him, I never imagined he would react like this. He was so
angry, so afraid of himself, and then there was that underlying guilt... I just
don't know why!" She says, her last words catching with her sob.

I swallow the lump in my throat as realization once again dawns on me. My

body goes numb and my eyes suddenly can't focus on anything in the room.

West just discovered that his biological father, one that he shares blood
with, is a rapist. And here he is, dating a girl who went through some of the
same horrors as his mom. The guilt and fear in his eyes suddenly makes
sense; he must think that in some way, the same monstrous ability runs
through his own blood. That has to be scaring him. He must somehow think
that by this being revealed, he's been lying to me when promising to protect
me from the horrors of Warren. Because now, in his eyes, he's just become
close to the very thing he's promised to protect me from.
My stomach drops and I suddenly feel like I want to throw up or pass out,
both seem likely in this moment. I'm dating someone who is a result of the
same agony I went through, someone who came from one of the most
viscous acts one can do to another.

Libba must note something in my reaction that worries her, because she
speaks up with her voice once again catching. "Please don't let this change
how you feel about West. Please don't view him any differently."

My eyes snap to her. Change the way I feel about West? View him
differently? Why would this knowledge ever change the way I feel about
him?

"Nothing could ever change the way I feel about West," I answer honestly.

And it's true. Nothing can change the way his tender gaze sets my heart into
hyperdrive or the way his carefree smile calms all of my nerves while his
touch ignites them to a level I previously could only dream about. I used to
think I would never get used to the touch from a guy again, but now West's
touch is something I constantly desire.

This information only makes me hurt for him. West's pained expression is
haunting my mind and all I want to do is find him and reassure him that
everything will be okay. Having a father as vile as this William guy does

not

mean West is the same. He's proven time and time again what an amazing
man he is. Right now and always, I need to be there for him in the way he's
been there for me.

"I don't understand why he seemed so scared. William has made no attempt
to harm either of us. I'm not sure he even remembers that he has a son or
knows his name. It's not like he has any legal custody, either. He's not a
threat to us."

I close my eyes for a moment as I have the same internal debate Libba had
moments earlier. I know at least partly why West seems scared, know why
he looked at me with guilty eyes. He's dating someone who is a victim of
rape and here he is, the

result

of rape. I know there's more to his reaction than just me, but if fear of my
reaction is any part of it then I have to make sure he understands this doesn't
change anything between us.

"I think I know why." My voice comes out timid, but it's enough for Libba
to watch me with unwavering eyes as I make my confession for the second
time today. "I was raped my freshman year. Warren Snow got me drunk and
trapped me in a bedroom and...well, you know. West found out and
eventually I told him my story. I don't know if West is scared of my reaction
to this, scared of himself, or scared of William, but if it has anything to do
with me I have to make sure he knows this changes nothing."

In an instant, Libba wraps her arms around me just as I did to her moments
before. She no longer looks small and scared, now she has taken on the
motherly role she was forced to be given as she comforts me. I shut my
eyes tightly as I melt into her arms, my cheek against her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, Raine," she soothes, her previous fear and concern
either tossed away or hidden well as she becomes the strong figure I need.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you. And I of all people know this could just
sound like empty, repetitive words, but you are

so

strong, Raine."

I hug her a little tighter. "We both are."

"I had to go through it alone for the most part and I hope that with West and
your friends, you didn't have to do the same."

I shake my head, "I'm so lucky to have friends that stuck by my side, and
for West to be nothing but amazing when he found out. He's been here for
me ever since we first met." We pull away and my arms fall back down to
my sides, the folder still grasped in one of my hands. "I need to find him.
Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

"That's why West was tearing the house apart. He was trying to find out
where

he

lives. William had time shaved off of his sentence for good behavior and
was released on parole two years ago. He never tried to come and find us,
but I found out where he lived."

My back stiffens. This can't be good.

"Did West find it?"

Libba closes her eyes for a moment as she nods. "He wouldn't stop until I
told him. I didn't know what else to do. It was like he was on a rampage,
Raine."

I reach my hand out again to rest comfortingly on her arm. "It's going to be
okay. He'll be okay. Can you tell me where William lives?"

Libba maintains my gaze for a few, silent moments. All I hear is the
pounding in my ears, the gentle roar of Toby's running truck outside, and
the tick of the clock in their hallway. Until finally she makes up her mind.

"He lives on Finch Street. 9335."

Her words create a storm of shock within me. Finch Street can't be more
than fifteen minutes from here. I may have to go to school with Warren and
see him every day, but I can't fathom him going to jail and rotting away for
15 years, only to be released and live a short car ride away from me and my
kids.

"I-I can't go to that house. I can't see

him.
But if you want me there with you, I'll go. I'd do anything for West and
Casper."

I shake my head, "Trust me, I understand. Let me go find West and talk to
him."

With that, I turn and leave the house. Toby and Alyse quickly step back out
of the truck with questions on their tongue, but I rush to the back seat and
get in, buckling up.

"Where to?" Toby asks, buckling himself.

"He's at Finch Street."

"Finch Street?" Alyse echoes, turning in her seat to stare at me with wide
eyes. "Raine, that's one of the worst parts of town."

Toby looks at me in the rear view mirror, hesitancy written in his

expression. "She's right. I don't know if it's safe for us to drive-"

"Just drive!" I snap.

He eyes me for another few seconds and then puts the truck in reverse,
pulling onto the road to head to Finch Street. To West.

"Okay, but if I see anything that could hurt either of you I'm turning around.
I want to find West too, but I refuse to put the two of you in danger."

"Why is he there?" Alyse asks as we drive along pothole covered roads that
follow run down houses and apartment complexes. "What was in the
folder?"

I look out the window as we venture further into the most dangerous part of
town. I eye the houses with broken windows, cars that have been bashed in,
tires stolen, and yards overgrown with weeds and miscellaneous objects
thrown about. People loiter around the streets, some in their yards, and
others in groups walking along just waiting for someone to terrorize. I tear
my gaze away and focus on Alyse.
"I don't think it's my place to say what was in the folder, but he just
discovered who his biological dad is. He lives on Finch and West went to go
find him."

Alyse and Toby share a worried look and he reaches across the middle
console to take her hand, comforting her with a gentle caress of his thumb.

"Are you sure about this, Raine?" Toby asks as we approach Finch Street.

My heartbeat echoes in my ears when I spot a familiar black Jeep parked in

a gravel driveway about a hundred yards away. The house it sits in front of
has barred, broken windows and a front door with spray painted words in
neon red. The porch is nothing but a large slab of concrete with three rotting
wood steps leading up to it, and the metal roof is almost entirely rusted. The
words on the door send a shiver through my body, I suppose even his kind
isn't welcomed around here. I force myself to remain strong as I respond.

"There he is."

As Toby pulls up, I spy West sitting on the deteriorating front porch steps.
Now that we're right in front of the house, I see the giant eviction notice
slapped on the door behind him. The sign breathes a bit of air back into my
lungs as I realize that William isn't here. It may have been a while since he's
been here. West has his head in his hands, hair unruly from constantly
tugging at it. I instantly unbuckle my seatbelt, ignoring the distant sound of
aggressive dogs barking and the sound of a baby crying somewhere in the
distance.

"Raine, hold on. You need to be careful, this is a horrible area and-"

I cut Toby off by opening my door and he curses under his breath when I
jump out, throwing caution to the wind and running across the damaged
yard.

"Stay in the car!" Toby orders Alyse from somewhere behind me, and I hear
his own door open, but I pay him no mind.

"West!"
His head snaps up at the sound of my voice and my heart squeezes. His
eyes are red and puffy from his tears, a distraught look stuck to his
handsome features. I've never seen him this way. He instantly stands up
when he sees me, backing away and up onto the porch to create distance.

"Stay away from me, Raine."

His voice doesn't radiate the same confidence I'm so used to. It doesn't
sound smooth and effortless, instead it's shaky. Scared.

"I'm not... I'm not who you think I am. Who I thought I was." He runs his
hands through his hair, tugging painfully at it as he presses his palms into
his forehead.

"Yes you are, West," I say strongly, needing him to hear every word clearly.

"No!" I jump at his sudden shout and freeze in my tracks. "You don't
understand! I'm just about the last person you should be around!"

"Don't do this. I know what happened! I went by your house and talked to
your mom." His eyes shift to the folder in my hand and his entire face pales.
"She told me everything, West and-"

"Then why are you here?" West hollers, eyes wild with emotion. "He

raped my mom

and she got pregnant with me! I ruined her life! She was kicked out of her
house, couldn't go to college, and then to top it all off she had to live with
me; a constant reminder of the event that ruined her life."

He turns and punches one of the wooden pillars on the porch, and with the
ferocity of his punch and how rotten the wood was, it cracks and bends in
on itself. Thankfully, it doesn't compromise the integrity of the structure and
the porch stays in tact to prevent the rusting roof from falling down.

"I share his blood!" West says, lifting his hands back to his face, one now
bloody from the punch. He presses his palms into his forehead again, so
tight that I can see them shake. "I got you to trust me, to open up to me, and
now I find out I'm practically no better than Warren.

I'm sorry."

His voice is weak, defeated, threatened by an onset of angry tears, and he

keeps his eyes shut tight. I continue to get slowly closer to him, my feet
crunching on the dead patches of grass in the yard. Now I'm standing just in
front of the rotting porch steps, staring up at him. Since I'm so close, I can
see the torment he's putting himself through. His jaw is clenched tightly and
his lip looks split from how hard he may have bitten it to keep himself from
crying.

"West, your mom made the decision to keep you because she knew she
would love you endlessly. She saw you as a blessing, as her reason to be
able to heal from what happened to her."

West shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes and refusing to believe my
words. I continue trying to get closer to him, carefully walking up the rotted
wooden boards that barely function as steps, nearly falling through one,
until I'm right in front of him.

"You are

nothing

like Warren." I reach out and gently pull his hands away from his face,
careful not to touch the new wounds. "You are

nothing

like the man who hurt your mom."

His eyes finally open and he looks at me, and my heart breaks for the
millionth time today at the defeat on his expression.

"Why are you even still here?" He asks, his voice still weak. "Don't you
realize, Raine? I'm a rape baby. That monster is a part of me."
I refuse to back down or let him go through this alone.

"That doesn't mean anything, West. He's not your dad. He never raised you,
was never a part of your life-"

My words do the opposite of calming him down. Instead, he harshly steps

back and tugs his hands away from mine.

"It doesn't matter, he's my biological father! I share whatever fucked up

DNA he has that led him to hurting her!"

The anger in his voice is sudden and it makes me stumble back. My back
hits the shattered pillar and I almost go falling off of the porch when it
doesn't catch me completely. West's eyes focus on me and shift quickly to
concern and he reaches out to grab me, but I quickly reach behind me to
hold the bottom half of the pillar to steady myself.

Behind me, I hear another car door slam shut and I turn my head slightly to
see Alyse jumping out of the truck to rush over to my aid, but Toby stops
her. His eyes are tight on me and West and he starts to advance toward us,
clearly not liking the way West looks or the sound of his voice, but I subtly
shake my head. My attention snaps back to West when he starts yelling
again.

"How can you even stand to look at me anymore? I'm related to the same
kind of monster that stole your voice! You should be running away from me
right now. You should be afraid of me! Hell, I'm afraid of myself." His
voice catches on the end, silencing him as he bites back his tears.

He takes a step back and sags against the house, letting his shoulders fall in
defeat as he breathes heavily and stares down at the ground. Tears build in
the back of my throat at the sight of him looking so wounded, so scared,
and I step closer to him. How can he not see what an amazing man he is?

Carefully, I reach out and rest a hand on his shoulder, allowing my body to
relax when he doesn't flinch away. I move my hand to rest on his cheek,
trying to lift his gaze to meet mine. He stiffens but automatically leans into
my touch as if instinct and I'm sure to speak firmly.
"You are not him. The actions of someone else do not determine who you

are." He lifts his gaze to mine, his brows tugged together in agony. "Libba
loves you with every fiber of her being. You are not a reminder of

him.

You gave her a reason to heal and move on with her life with newfound
purpose. You are the best thing to ever happen to her, to

me."

I say it with as much conviction as possible, praying that my words get

through to him.

The anger in his expression begins to melt away, along with the guilt.
However, remnants of fear still remain as he looks at me. His voice comes
out almost desperate.

"How are you not afraid of me?"

My brows tug together. "Because I know who you are. You don't let those
you care about get hurt, sacrificing yourself to make sure they stay safe.
You've never judged me for my past, you've only help me overcome it.
You're gentle, kind, and I

know

that you would never, ever hurt me."

Thankfully, my words remove any fear still left in his expression. It's
replaced with something stronger, something deeper. It's always been there
when he looks at me, but now it shines boldly through. He lifts his good
hand to softly cup my cheek, his thumb running along my cheekbone and
his gaze refuses to let me go.
"I would never," he whispers seriously. "But if this is too much for you... if
you want to walk away-"

"No. I'm not walking away, I'm not leaving."

His eyes soften, a shimmer of hope dancing around as he takes in my

expression. "Why?"

Why wasn't I afraid of West when I first met him? Why did I not cower
away when he began talking to me? Why did I open up to him and let him
into my heart, where he carved out a piece only for him? Why did I give
him my trust when I had so much to lose? Why did I tell him my story and
know that he would be by my side and never see me as tainted?

I smile softly at him. It's all for the same reason. The same reason I yelled
his name to protect him that night. The same reason he's always been here
for me. And though this isn't the ideal location, the mood has shifted and I
know I can't hold off telling him.

"Because I finally figured it out."

Now, West's eyes light up with recognition and begin to shine with a
knowing smile. His thumb continues to softly rub my cheek as he hangs
onto my every word.

"And what is it that you figured out, Sunshine?"

I laugh lightly before responding, memorizing this moment and the way his
eyes dance with happiness and relief. He knows. He's known for a while.
He was just waiting on me to realize.

"That I'm in love with you, West."

In an instant, his other hand lands on my waist to pull me closer as he leans

down and kisses me with everything he has. The feel of his lips makes all of
my nerves go crazy, igniting my whole body in a way I didn't know was
possible if it weren't for West. I move my hands from where they rest on his
cheeks to tangle in his hair, eliminating any possible distance between us. I
pour my soul into the kiss, promising him through our embrace that nothing
will ever change the way I feel about him. He pulls back only for a moment,
brushing some hair out of my face. His stare is electric with tender emotion.

"I'm in love with you too, Sunshine." He kisses me again, mumbling against
my lips. "Madly, madly in love with you."

Our lips connect again with a fervent need to be close and prove that our
words are true. His lips move perfectly against mine, crashing and burning
my skin in a fiery moment of desire and passion that ignites a fire in my
heart and makes me hold him impossibly tighter.

In the distance, I can faintly make out Alyse gasping and saying "Oh my
god is it finally happening? Did she say it? She better have said it! I
watched

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

last night!" Her words make me chuckle against West's lips which
ultimately has us pulling apart, and I silently curse Alyse for making me
laugh.

West keeps me close to him, smiling down at me with unquestionable love

and happiness in his gaze. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear
you say that."

"You already knew?"

I kind of figured he already knew, with his cryptic 'oh, let me know when
you figure it out' comments.

West chuckles and kisses my forehead, his warm lips brushing against my
skin. "I knew how I felt. I think anyone can look at me and know that I'm in
love with you. When you started to look at me the same, I was pretty sure
you loved me too."

I move my arms slightly so that I can hug him, and he pulls me tight against
his body. He buries his face in my neck, breathing in my scent and setting a
soft kiss on my skin.

"Thank you. For coming here, for finding me, for helping me see things
clearly."

"Please just remember that you are nothing like him. Finding out who your
dad is does nothing to change who you are," I say gently.

"I was just so afraid that you would see me differently that I started to see
myself differently. I should have known you wouldn't."

"Good,

great

. I always love watching you make out with my sister in front of me," Toby
mutters sarcastically, "But can we

please

get out of here? I'm pretty sure I heard gunshots a minute ago."

West pulls away slightly and shifts his eyes from me to Toby standing
somewhere in the yard behind me and he sighs. "He's right. You shouldn't
have come here, it's dangerous."

"The same could be said to you."

We pull apart and begin toward Toby and Alyse, but West puts his hand out
to stop me before I descend the three rotten wood steps. He hesitantly
reaches his foot on one of them and it threatens to break beneath him, so he
avoids it as he walks down the steps. He turns to me and puts his hands out,
effortlessly lifting me by the waist so that I don't have to chance one of the
steps breaking beneath me, making my leg plummet through and getting
covered in splinters. I place my hands on his shoulders as he swings me
over the steps and gently places me on the ground next to him, his grip not
letting go as he smiles down at me.
"Jesus- come on you two!" Toby snaps from where he stands with his door
ajar to the truck. "Seriously, I want to get us out of here. Raine, are you
riding with him?"

I nod and the two of us jog over to his Jeep. He opens the door for me and
nearly shoves me inside when another gunshot rings out somewhere far too
close to us and the barking of the dog intensifies. I hear Toby curse and the
door of his truck slam shut as his engine roars to life, speeding away with
West hot on his tail. My phone lights up with a text from Alyse.

My Main Bitch:

1: Let's head to your house. i have a feeling we won't want to go back to

school today... Gray agreed to meet us, says he has some pretty interesting
updates of what we missed. 2: WTF DID YOU TWO JUST SAY I LOVE
YOU?? TELL. ME. EVERYTHING.

I throw my head back against the headrest in the Jeep and chuckle, letting
out a huge breath of relief. West glances at me with a small smile, reaching
his good hand out to take mine as we follow Toby to my house. I'm
reminded of the events with Warren that unfolded and suddenly I can't wait
to tell everything to West. I know he's going to be proud of me.

---

1/8/2021 - And there it was, the love confession! This is completely new
from the original version, so I am looking forward to feedback/thoughts!
Again, I anticipate only having about one more regular chapter and then
the epilogue.
Chapter Forty Two (Edited
6/13/2022)
6/13/2022 - Alright everyone, here is the final chapter of the newly edited
version of Silently Falling! I took this challenge on nearly two years ago,
realizing I had a good story that needed a lot of maturing. Thanks for
sticking by me with all of the edits :) There will still be an epilogue posted
eventually, but this is the end of the book for now!

Be sure to check out the bonus chapters I added today! You all were asking
for a spin-off for Toby and Alyse, and I wrote a 3 chapters bonus story at
the very end of this book for them! Be sure to give it a read :)

Silently Falling: Chapter Forty Two

As we follow Toby and Alyse out of Finch Street, my mind wanders back to
Libba and I quickly lock my phone without responding to Alyse and turn
my attention to West.

"We should probably go see your-"

"I'm way ahead of you."

As Toby and Alyse continue straight to head towards my house, West takes
a left turn to head towards his house. As he drives down the bumpy roads,
he grows a faraway look in his eye, a telltale sign that his mind is buzzing
with something upsetting. When I asked he admitted how horrible he had
acted towards Libba. He admitted to tearing the house apart, yelling at her
for never telling him who his father was, and that he left her crying there.

"I was horrible, Sunshine," he says as we pull into his driveway. His hands
clench the steering wheel as he stares at the house with solemn eyes.

"It's okay, you were just reacting to what you found out," I say softly.
"I should have controlled my reaction. Instead, I made my mom cry and
made you drive out to the worst part of town just to try and calm me down
and-"

I unbuckle my seatbelt as West rants on about how he should have better

handled the situation so that I can lean over the middle console and gently
take his face in my hands. It works and his ramble gets cut short, mainly out
of shock.

"You did nothing wrong," I say firmly.

His eyes stick to mine as he swallows, "Yeah, but what would I have done if
he

had

been there?"

My thumb gently strokes his cheek and I shake my head. He's right. If his
biological father had been there, West may have done something he could
never come back from. I was never there to see what West had done to
Jason, but I know that that monster deserved it. Here West was faced with
yet another monster that he thought he had to deal with alone, and I know
how scary that can be. Even so, I've never seen what West is capable of in
terms of anger, but I

have

seen how capable he is of loving.

"You'd do anything for your family, there's no questioning that," I finally

respond. "But you wouldn't have done something that could have taken you
away from Casper or Libba."

West shakes his head, the best he can with my hands on either side of his
face, and reaches one hand up to hold mine, giving it a small squeeze.

"I think you're forgetting someone in that mix."

I grin, glancing down to hide my stupid oncoming blush.

"Who might that be?"

West raises an amused brow, "Do you want to do the whole 'let me know
when you figure it out' thing again?"

I scowl at him and draws out a chuckle.

West's light laughter dances around the Jeep, warming my heart as if he's
the sunshine in this relationship. And, in so many ways, he is.

"You

, Sunshine. I would never do anything that would risk losing you. But...for a
moment I really did think that having that man be my father meant I had
lost you. Hell, for a second or two I think it made me lose myself."

"I wouldn't let that happen."

West nods, his thumb drawing little circles on my hand that's still held
tenderly in his. "I know you wouldn't, Sunshine."

In that moment, Libba comes running out of the house in her nurse scrubs.
West's eyes leave mine and focus on the reflection in the car window behind
me and his body stiffens. His hand falls off of mine, and I quickly place
mine back in my lap. Within the second, West clicks the buckle of his
seatbelt and throws the door open, nearly falling out of the Jeep as he runs
to his mom. From my seat, I see Libba throw her arms out and engulf West
in a hug. Despite being significantly smaller than him, she is able to wrap
him in her arms as if he's only a kid.

I wince at my own thoughts. He

is

only a kid. We both are. Yet life has thrown some nasty curves our way that
have forced us to grow well beyond our years.
West is so often the one holding and comforting me, having to be the strong
figure for me. Now, seeing his shoulders droop into his hug as if the weight
of the world was lifted away, he's let his mom take over the protective,
soothing role. Right now, he's just a son in need of his mothers comfort.

From here I can see the tears in Libba's eyes as she clutches West, holding
him so securely that her hands are shaking. Her face is knotted into a
mixture of emotions; relief, worry, love. There isn't a force on this earth
stronger than a mother's love for her kids.

West holds her tightly too, and though his back is to me I can imagine the
tears filling his beautiful brown eyes as he apologizes to his mom,
explaining everything. They stand in each other's embrace for as long as
they need, but when they part, I look away so as not to get caught intruding
on their moment. West wipes his eyes and begins walking back towards the
Jeep as Libba retreats inside.

"You okay?" I ask as West gets into the Jeep and starts it back up.

He looks at me without responding and leans over the middle console. He

lifts his hand to rest on my cheek, eyes soaking in my face as he takes in a
small, shaky breath.

"I'm okay now. She isn't mad at me."

His face is so close to mine that I'm able to rest my forehead on his, and I
see the fresh tears still lingering in his eyes.

"She was never mad at you, West. She loves you."

He slightly nods, but not enough to break our intimate position, and I reach
my hand up to wipe away the wet tears that still stick to the skin underneath
his eyes.

"I love you," I add softly.

He slides his hand back so that his fingers slide underneath my hair and his
thumb rests on my cheekbone. His eyes flutter shut as he holds my forehead
gently against his, nudging my nose with his for a moment before opening
his eyes.

"You have no idea how much I love you," he whispers.

We lean forward together, our lips meeting in a tender embrace. I can feel
his split lip on mine and he winces slightly, so I go to pull back, but his
hand resting on the back of my head keeps me there to let me know he's
okay. We kiss again, and again, and again. Neither one of us even makes an
attempt to pull apart and our only thoughts are on each other. After the
events of the day, to only have West's beautiful brown eyes and soft plump
lips on my mind is saying a lot about the depth of my feelings.

We only pull apart at the telltale buzz of my phone. Neither of us has to

look down to know it's Alyse texting me to wonder where we are and that
she's getting impatient about hearing our "I love you" confession.

However, there's another confession I have to give to West. He still doesn't

know that I spoke out against Warren today. The question is, how do I tell
him?

---

As West and I walk up my front porch steps and go inside, we don't even
have the chance to close the door before Alyse practically throws herself at
me and demands to hear the full story of our love confession earlier.

"Uh Alyse?" I say, blinking at the living room where Toby and Gray are
sitting rather impatiently waiting. "Maybe that can wait? I think I need to
discuss other things first."

West takes my coat and hangs it on the rack with his, but sends me a
quizzical stare.

"Other things?"

Alyse pauses and snaps her wide eyes to me, "You haven't told him?"

"Told me what?"
Alyse looks at him awkwardly and scratches the back of her head with a
lame attempt at a grin, "Oh! Nothing! That she loves you? She said that,
right?"

"You heard her say it-"

"Actually, there's something

need to discuss with everyone," Gray interrupts from his seat on the couch.

West and I walk fully into the living room now and he takes a seat on the
corner of the sectional, only a couple of cushions away from Gray. I
hesitantly stand behind him as West cautiously eyes each of us in the room,
wondering what it is that we all know but haven't told him.

Maybe I should have told him on the car ride over here, but I didn't want to
interrupt the perfect moment we were having.

Gray reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocking it as he
glances at the two of us.

"Raine, I don't know how you'll react to this, but it may be easier to do it
this way if you haven't told him yet," he begins.

West stiffens slightly, but I reach out and rest a comforting hand on his
shoulder. He relaxes slightly at my touch, but he still seems on edge as he
stares at Gray who begins to explain further.

"Someone recorded the whole thing."

My blood runs cold. Goosebumps rise on my skin.

"What?"

"Someone recorded everything. From West storming out to you going after
him... It was posted on Instagram about an hour ago. It already has fifty
thousand views."
"What!" I repeat, this time louder and with more urgency.

"Here," Gray says, handing his phone over. I quickly walk around the end
of the couch to take it from his hand, my eyes finding the view count from a
burner account's Reel's page.

50.2k

No, wait. I refresh it and the numbers climb.

58.4k.

Then my eyes find the posting time. 58 minutes ago. 58k in 58 minutes.

"Sunshine?"

My wide eyes leave the phone to find West; completely clueless to this
whole thing since I haven't yet told him about my own outburst.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" He asks, instantly standing up to come
closer to me. He rests his hands on my sides to try and comfort me as I
continue to avoid his eye.

"Did someone record me and Warren?" He asks, "Did I say something about
you? Oh God, Sunshine I am so sorry-"

"No," I quickly say, shaking my head to cut him off. "

did."

He furrows his brow, searching my eyes to try and figure out what I'm
talking about. I keep his eye contact as I take in a deep breath, letting it out
slowly to prepare myself to tell him.

"After you left, I got so angry. Not at you, of course, but at

him
. For three years I was okay hiding. Three years. Three years I cowered
away from him in fear. Three years I stayed silent because I was so
traumatized. Three years I kept his true nature a secret. And for three years,
I was

okay

doing all of that. Until he messed with you. Seeing the look on your face
when he handed you that folder, something in me snapped. And-
just...here."

I stop my ramble, choosing instead to press play on the video to let him see
for himself what my words can't describe. The moment is all a blur to me
anyway now that the adrenaline has faded. West holds the phone but keeps
his gaze on me. He's picked up on my hesitancy, so his expression is almost
as if asking for my final permission to look at it. I give him a nod and his
eyes drop down to the screen.

And then he watches the video.

I keep my eyes shut, too afraid to watch myself telling Warren off from a
bystanders perspective. I lived that confession once, I don't particularly
want to live it again now that my adrenaline has faded. Honestly, I don't
know how to feel knowing that now over 58 thousand people have seen it,
and I know that number is only going to continue to climb.

When I hear Warren scream out that I'm a liar, I finally open my eyes. West
pauses the video and I stare at him, waiting with bated breath for his
reaction. He shifts his eyes from the screen to me, and within a second his
arms are around me as he hugs me. I'm shocked for merely a second and
then react to his hug by holding him tighter.

"I am so proud of you, Sunshine," he whispers. "So fucking proud of you."

I bury my face in the crook of his shoulder, "Thank you."

"I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Weren't there for me?" I pull apart from the hug enough to meet his eyes.
"West, you're the entire reason I was able to stand up to him."

"Not to ruin the moment," Gray says, "but there's more to the video."

West and I keep looking at each other for a few more moments, still
captivated by one another, before finally glancing at Gray.

"More?" Toby asks for me.

West and I sit down on the couch, with his arm snugly around me as we
wait for Gray to expand.

"After you all left, people didn't just go to class," he says, glancing at all of
us. "A lot more went down."

He comes and sits down next to West, and Toby and Alyse walk over as we
all crowd around his phone to watch the rest of the video play out.

I catch sight of me running down the hallway with Toby and Alyse hot on
my heels, but then the camera quickly snaps back to Warren standing in the
middle of the sea of students so I don't have time to admire how I look from
the back. Every eye is on him, and every single one is filled with disgust as
he blabs on about what a liar I am.

The resource officer that Tyler had dragged to the scene is now in the
middle of the hallway, but he seems unsure of what to do.

"Why are you just standing there?" Tyler snaps, stepping out of the crowd.
"Arrest him!"

Warren's eyes widen and he starts backing up, ready to run if needed.
However, the officer runs his hand over his face and sighs.

"Kid, I can't just arrest him on random allegations. She didn't come to me
with any charges."

"Are you kidding me? She just told you what he did!" Tyler argues,
throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.
"I know that, but she just ran off. There's nothing I can really do unless she
makes a formal complaint or a statement or something."

At that, the entire student body begins murmuring their disagreement. Some
kids yell, others just talk quietly among themselves with judgmental eyes
on the resource officer. Until one girl steps into middle of the body of
students.

"Then I will."

The crowd goes quiet again. The camera zooms in on the girl who stepped
forward, but I keep my focus on Warren in the corner of the video.

He looks worried. Scared. Angry. I know that look. Whatever this girl says,
it's true.

"Excuse me?" The officer says to the girl.

I don't know her well enough to know her name, but I've seen her around
school before. She's a year above me. She looks uncomfortable with all of
our classmates eyes on her, but she still steps out with a confident posture
and head held high.

"Last year, Warren came over to my house when my parents weren't home
and-"

"You invited me over," Warren hisses, cutting her off.

For the first time since speaking up, she looks at him. The look in her eye is
all too familiar. It's a mixture of fear and regret, but most of all, anger.

"I invited you over. I did

not

invite you into my room and I most definitely did

not
invite you to do what you did to me. I said no, Warren. I said no multiple
times and you still-" her voice catches.

For a small moment, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, readying
herself to say aloud what she can never take back.

"You still forced yourself on me. Forced me to have sex with you. I did

not

invite you to do that."

Then the crowd bursts into an uproar and the video ends.

We all sit there in silence.

"She wasn't the only one, Raine," Gray says cautiously. "One other girl
came forward after, I heard about it. Warren assaulted her, too. He didn't go
as far with her as he did with you and Julia, the girl in the video, but he
forced her into other things before she was able to make him back off."

I stare at Gray. My ears start buzzing, I think he continues to talk, but I don't
hear it. I don't even really see him anymore, either. I don't feel West next to
me or Toby and Alyse behind me. I feel numb as I let it all sink in.

I wasn't the only girl Warren attacked. That monster ruined more lives.
There are more girls, classmates of mine, that weren't protected from him
either. If I had pushed harder during my trial, or if I had spoken out earlier,
what happened to me may not have happened to them.

I hear

his

taunts in my mind. I hear the verdict from my trial being read out. I hear my
Dad's angry cry. I hear Toby's cursing. I hear Alyse reassuring me
everything will be okay. But it wasn't. Not for nearly three years. Not for
two other girls.
A warm hand rests on top of mine, but I don't react right away. Somewhere,
beyond the numb buzzing playing in my head, I hear my name. The hand
squeezes mine, more urgently.

"Sunshine," West continues to say until it finally registers in my mind, and I

snap my gaze to his. "Are you okay?"

"I-" I start, but my words get caught in my throat. I swallow hard, forcing
myself to form the words coherently. "They got hurt because of me."

"What?" Toby says, running around the couch to kneel in front of me.
"Raine, how could you think that?"

"They got hurt because Warren is a disgrace of a human being," Alyse says
from behind me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"He wouldn't have been able to hurt them if I had said something earlier."

"You tried, Raine. You took him to court, you can't blame yourself for the
system being screwed up," Toby pleads.

"Sunshine," West says, and my eyes shift to him. "Did you hear what Gray
said? Those girls came forward

because of you

. Because of your strength to admit to everyone what he did. You didn't hurt
them, Sunshine. You gave them a voice."

The confidence in his voice reaches me and I slowly begin to nod, letting
his words have their full effect on me. Maybe he's right. They could have
stayed in silence, much like me. Instead they came forward. They spoke out
against their abuser, finding support in me and our classmates that instantly
believed us. Isn't that the biggest fear in the first place? The fear no one will
believe you, that you are only seeking attention and that everyone will
defend your attacker. Maybe that's why so many victims live in silence.

"He was arrested," Gray adds, "He can't escape a trial with two more
victims. He won't get away with it this time, not even his daddy can save
him. Warren is done."

"And it's because of you," West says softly. "Because you were brave
enough to say something."

The others add in their agreements, and next thing I know tears begin to fill
my eyes.

"Even if he did somehow get away with it, which he won't, that video is
already at 60 thousand views and its growing every minute. Look at the
comments, Raine. Warren is about to be universally hated and

everyone

will know him for who he actually is," Alyse says, handing me her phone
with the same video loaded on the screen, opened to the comment section.

I start to scroll through them. As I read the comments, more and more tears
begin filling my eyes and my chest gets tight. But they aren't sad, they aren't
even angry. They're tears of relief.

User23445:

Those girls are so brave!! I pray they get the justice they deserve!

Molly565:

Just look at him. He looks like a monster. I hope he gets what he deserves.
Sending love to the girls in the video!

James096:

I am so sorry that happened to you both, but you are so strong!! What can I
do to help??

OlaP123:

I was SA'ed by a family friend when I was just a little girl, thank you for
putting this video out there. It sends a powerful message that we can stand
up to our abusers. I hope this encourages other girls to come forward! We
are all here for you.

And the comments continue on the same theme. Over a thousand comments
of supporters. I can't read anymore as my tears begin to blur my vision and
my hands begin to shake.

"Raine? Are you okay?" Toby rushes out, worried eyes trying to find mine.

I nod and send a tearful smile to everyone. "I'm okay. I just- I need a
moment."

They all nod, and then Alyse gently grabs Toby's arm to lead him away with
Gray following.

"We'll be in the kitchen, okay?" She says, sending me a small smile. "We
are so proud of you, Raine. You are the strongest person we know. Don't
ever forget that."

"Thank you," I basically whisper, unable to say anymore without my tears

taking over my voice.

West begins to sit up, but I grip his hand tighter and he instantly settles back
down as the others retreat into the kitchen. I let the rest of my tears take
over my eyes and a sob makes my shoulders shake. Within the second, West
scoops me into his arms and holds me tight.

"Come here," he whispers as I curl into his side. "You are incredible,
Sunshine. You know that, don't you?"

"I can't believe it," I say faintly, "He's finally going to face consequences.
He might finally go to jail."

"I know, but he's finished. Warren Snow won't hurt anyone else ever again,"
West promises. "And it's all because of you."

I let relief blanket my entire body. More tears flow down my cheeks, adding
to my weightless feeling. These are the tears I held in for years. Tears I
never thought I would be able to cry. Tears of knowing I finally got justice.
Tears of knowing that I'm finally free.

The End

Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. And every 9 minutes,

that victim is a child. Find 24/7 support at https://www.rainn.org/, the
nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.
Chapter One - Sponsored by Prime
Video
-Alyse POV-

Amid the perfume of the early summer blooms in Raine and Toby's
backyard, my body relaxes as the cool breeze of the summer evening
whistles through the trees and washes over my body. The breeze picks up
for a moment or two, wisping through my thin layers that helped protect me
from the crazy summer heat just hours earlier, but now makes me almost
shiver. The sun has only just started to set, casting a delicate painting of
orange and yellow that the light blue sky dips into on the distant horizon.

Summer evenings at the Winter's house have always been a favorite of

mine, ever since Raine and I were little. Marcus had bought a large, above
ground pool the summer Toby turned 10 and ever since then our summers
largely consisted of days filled with the sun soaking our skin and the scent
of sunscreen being engraved in our memory.

"Lemonade coming right up," Toby announces as he slides the door from
the kitchen shut and steps out onto the patio, a tray of lemonades in his
hand for the rest of us.

He carefully steps over to where I sit on a pool lounge chair with my towel
around my legs as a sort of blanket from the slight chill in the evening air.
Or, maybe it's the sunburn on my skin that's making me react to the barely
cool breeze. It was our first full day in the summer sun and my skin will be
paying for it during the next few days. It's the last summer Toby and Gray
have before they both head off to college, and the last summer Raine and I
have before we become seniors in high school.

Toby passes out drinks to West and Raine, who are sitting side by side on
the opposing lounge chair. West drapes a towel around Raine's shoulders,
warming her up after her evening dip in the pool moments ago. The air is
still hot, but without the sunlight beaming down on either of them or the
breeze, the droplets of water on her skin turn into an array of goosebumps.
His hand rests delicately on her mid-back, softly rubbing and she leans into
him with a small smile.

They take two glasses from Toby's tray with a small thank you, and then he
hands one to Gray who completes our semi-circle of seats on my right side.
Gray reaches his hand out without lifting his head from its relaxed position,
a large sun hat covering his face as he guesses where the straw is, spinning
the cup with his eyes still shut in his moment of relaxation until he finds it,
sipping with a small sigh of delight.

"Thanks, Toby," he mumbles, pulling the hat down to block out the last
remaining moments of bright sunlight. "And good call Alyse on the
lemonade."

The chair bounces slightly as Toby takes his spot next to me, a crinkle in the
corner of his eye as he hands me the last glass with a smile. Before I take a
sip, I hear Raine laugh and move my eyes to her in question.

She waves her hand, still laughing to the point where we all stop what we're
doing to look at her funny. Toby narrows his eyes, zeroing in on West's hand
that moved to be around her waist.

"Hands where I can see them, pal," he mutters.

I roll my eyes and lightly smack his leg. "They've been dating for, like,
seven months. Let them be."

West scowls and lifts his hands, "It's not me. She just started to laugh."

"I'm sorry," she finally says, catching her breath. "I just remembered the
time when we were kids and Toby put a spider in Alyse's lemonade and she
drank half of it before she realized."

I instantly scowl and Toby awkwardly scratches his neck, smiling

sheepishly at me. "It was all in good fun."
"That's not what I'd call fun for me. Really, Toby, and you wonder why I
made you work so hard for me."

"Worth it."

"I'm worth you working to win me over or the spider was worth it?"

He pauses for a second, as if calculating the right answer. "Uh, both?"

"You need to spend more time with West," I mutter, sipping on my

lemonade. "You still have a few things to learn from him."

"I meant you! You were-no. You

are

worth it!"

I just roll my eyes and wave a disregarding hand at him, but he sees the
smile playing at my lips. So, he leans forward and kisses my cheek. "You're
always worth it," he says softly.

I grin at him, "Better."

"So, this little romance between you two isn't from when you were kids,
then?" West hums, smirking at the two of us.

"Just the opposite."

"They didn't like each other when they first met," Raine explains. "It was
before I even knew Alyse."

"You didn't introduce them? I figured it was the classic 'best friend's brother'
crush."

Gray sits up, leaning his weight on his elbow as he lifts his sunhat. "West
doesn't know the famous Alby story?"

West smirks, "This ought to be good."

Toby chuckles and lounges back on the chair, his legs behind me as I stay
seated on the side facing the others and he grins at me, fully knowing that
I'm about to tell the tale and will need my room since I talk with my hands.
Well...not literally, not since Raine got her voice back.

"Toby and I met when I was five and he was, what? Six? In a movie theater.
Watching

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days..."

My mom had insisted on taking me to see her favorite movie; the

aforementioned best rom-com of all time. Despite the movie coming out
nearly 5 years prior in 2003, our local movie theater had it playing that one
day, one time only. The theater used to have a monthly campaign where
they would have a website poll for the community to vote on what movie,
anywhere between 5 and 50 years old, to show on the first Saturday of the
month. That month, the winning option happened to be the classic with
Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.

I was only five, perhaps much too young to watch, but my mom was unable
to drag my dad to see it in theaters a second time and had decided I was the
next best option. Ten minutes into the movie, I was distracted by a boy
around my age stumbling through the row with a slew of apologies from his
mother as they stepped over everyone to get to the only open seats in the
theater.

My eyes were instantly drawn to the boy. He looked very confused when he
glanced at the screen, his handsome face scrunching up when he saw Kate
Hudson sitting in an office chair rather than whatever he assumed he had
come to see. I covered up my face to hide my smile at his reaction, but I
failed to hide a small giggle. He still heard it above the noise in the movie
because his eyes flickered to me. Bright blue eyes stared back at me, filling
with embarrassment, and his slightly chubby cheeks flushed red as he
tugged on his mom's hand, trying to go back the way they came.

She sat right down though, eyes glued to the screen as she hushed him and
made him take the spot right next to me. Rather than focus on the movie in
front of me, I was entranced by the boy. He was the only little boy in the
theater, almost the only boy in general. The only others were husbands and
boyfriends who's significant others dragged them along, maybe with the
promise to see whatever movie this boy clearly thought was playing.

The boy caught me not so subtly looking at him and huffed, crossing his
arms over his chest as he scowled straight ahead.

"This is

not

Kung Fu Panda," he mumbled under his breath, quickly being shushed by

his mom. "I didn't know I was coming to watch some chick flick," he said
quieter, directed to no one in particular, but I knew it was meant for me to
hear.

We both stayed silent for the duration of the movie. I paid attention, but I
don't think he did. His shoes seemed much more interesting to him than
Andie Anderson falling in love with Benjamin Barry.

Once the movie ended and the theater erupted into middle-aged women's
cheers, he was quick to stand up and tug on his mom's hand with urgency to
leave. But I stood too, and I caught his attention.

"Wasn't that movie good?" I grinned a smile with two missing teeth.

He looked at me for a moment, not answering.

"I'm Alyse," I offered, hoping to get some form of a response.

"And

was never here."

Then, he was able to tug on his mom's hand hard enough to leave.
I huffed the same way he had when he sat down at the start of the movie
and crossed my own arms across my chest, lips pursed in annoyance.

"It was good to meet you too," I said to no one, with the full amount of
attitude that a five year old girl can muster.

I assumed I'd never see the rude boy again, and frankly I didn't want to.
Couldn't he see what a classic that movie had been?

A year passed and I finished kindergarten, but that year hadn't mattered
much to me. I hadn't made many friends until first grade, when I met Raine
Winter. She instantly became my best friend. There was a sadness about her
at the beginning of the year, a sadness that a girl her age shouldn't have had.
But it didn't take me long to pull her out of her shell. Once I did, she and I
were inseparable.

The day I went to her house for our first play date was the day I first saw
that boy again. With my mom in the car finishing up a business call,
watching me carefully to make sure I got inside safely, I knocked on the
door of the address Raine had given me that day at school (with the help of
our teacher explaining what an address is).

Raine didn't answer. That boy did. It was the first time I had seen him since
he rudely exited the movie theater without introducing himself, but it didn't
take me more than a second to place how I knew him. I think I smiled when
I saw him, a different pair of teeth missing this time. Once again, my smile
was not reciprocated. Rather, it was met with a deep scowl.

He

could

have been perfect. He was very cute after all, with light brown hair that sat
in a messy mop on his head and was already tall for our age. He stood with
more authority than any other boy in my first grade class, so I assumed he
was at

least
in second grade. He

could

have been perfect. But then he opened his mouth.

"Why are

you

here?" He hissed, going to swing the door closed. He only left it open a
crack, eyes darting along the street behind me to make sure there was no
one to see.

"For a playdate," I stated strongly, trying to appear older, like my mom on

her business calls.

"I don't want to play with you, go away!"

"I'm not here for

you."

"Good, then leave!"

"No! Why are you being mean to me?" I whined. "You're cute but you're
mean. That's not fair!"

"Because you saw me watch a girlie movie and now you're following me!"

"I'm not following you!"

"Yeah, because you're leaving!"

Then he shut the door all the way.

"Toby? Who's at the door?" A booming voice called out from inside the
house. Then loud footsteps resonated behind the door and it swung all the
way open.
"Oh," the tall man said, blinking down at me. "You must be Alyse. Your
mom called me earlier, Raine couldn't wait for you to come over!" He said
with a big smile, waving to my mom who smiled through the car window
before beginning to back out of the driveway.

"Alyse!" Raine shouted, running down the steps as I walked through the
front door, sending Toby a smug look. Well, looking at him with my tongue
stuck out.

He just huffed and rolled his eyes, kicking at the floor.

"Toby, this is Alyse! My best friend from class!" Raine said, grinning at
him. "That's my older brother, Toby,"

"I know him-"

"No. She does not."

"Yes, I do. I saw him at the movies-"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I have never seen you before."

"You sat next to me when we were watching-"

"No!"

I gritted my teeth together at his constant denial of ever seeing me before.

My eyes narrowed into slits as I glared at him, my nose scrunched in
annoyance. Why did

this

boy have to be my best friend's brother? He glared back at me, arms crossed
over the dinosaur on his shirt, his bright blue eyes almost daring me to say
something else. He looked like he was even on the verge of smiling, as if he
was enjoying getting such a reaction out of me.

So, I opened my mouth to set the record straight, but Raine spoke up before
me.

"He does kind of look like Scott Cameron from class, but Toby is a year
older, silly! You don't know him." Raine interrupted, unaware or uncaring
of our clear disdain for one another. "Come on, I have a Barbie house in my
room that's much better than the one in Mrs. Pierce's class!"

As I let Raine drag me up the steps at the mention of Barbie's, I glanced

back down the stairs at Toby. He stood there, staring at me with that same,
smug almost-smile, and vowed that I would never be friends with Raine's
older brother.

---

Thank you to The Summer I Turned Pretty for theinspiration, add the new
Prime series to your summer watch-list!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfAueqEab30
Chapter Two - Sponsored by Prime
Video
The condensation from my lemonade drips onto the patio, evaporating
almost instantly from the leftover heat from the blazing hot summer day. I
move the towel around my legs and let it fall to the ground, placing the
chilled glass on my sunburnt skin without a breeze to cool it down.

"So...that's it? Alyse happened to see you watching that movie and you were
a jerk to her?" West asks carefully as he looks between the two of us.

Toby lolls his head to the side to look at West and lifts his hand to shield the
fading sun from his eyes, "I was convinced that she had somehow made it
her mission to tell everyone that I saw a chick flick. Which was completely
an accident, might I add

As a seven year old boy, that was pretty much the worst thing that could
happen to me socially. The only good part was that it meant a cute girl
saying I was with her at the movies, which probably could have gotten me
some of that social status back. But it was all monster trucks and

Goosebumps

at the time for boys."

"You know, Toby, you aren't great with first impressions."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I'm too quick to judge. I'm working on it," he sighs,
sitting up slightly to grab his lemonade from its spot on the porch.

"It's okay, he gets better as the story goes on," I tease, nudging his legs.
"Since Raine and I were best friends, I used to come over all the time.
Which meant Toby and I were stuck with one another, which neither of us
particularly liked at the time..."

Every playdate, every movie night, every sleepover all through elementary
school consisted of Toby and I trying to either avoid one another or play a
prank on each other. They started off more innocent than not, such as the
spider in my lemonade or the time I put a slug on his head in church. One
thing was for certain, whatever he dished out to me, I was able to dish right
back and vice versa. We had a never ending childhood of back and forth
pranks and teasing, which our parents mistook for kids being kids rather
than a rivalry that all stemmed from one movie theater mistake. The pranks
continued as we went through elementary and middle school, but they
became more sophisticated and well thought out. It almost became our
thing. If either of us could admit that we even

had

a thing.

Between all of the pranking, there was a sort of friendship that formed.
Though, neither of us would have owned up to it. Toby began actually
hanging out with Raine and I for a while. The movie nights between Raine
and I became movie nights with all three of us, pool days for the girls
became a pool day for the girls plus Toby, and he even got the two of us
into video games. We still didn't particularly get along, but our initial hatred
was slowly fading into something else entirely. Something that neither of us
would recognize for years to come.

The older we all became, Toby began to turn into the borderline cocky older
brother that he still likes to be today. Even back then he was popular. I
guess being the cutest guy in his grade had a lot to do with it. However, his
looks and popularity really took off when he became a freshman in high
school while Raine and I were still only in middle school. Hanging out with
us suddenly wasn't the cool thing to do, and he started spending time with
his other friends, like Warren.

Day by day, the pranks began to thin out and our movie trio was slimmed
down to two. I was okay with it, of course. After all, I was still adamant that
our little rivalry was very much alive. As much as Toby's features started
becoming more defined, mine did too. In 8th grade, I finally started to look
my age rather than some little girl stuck in 5th grade, and boys noticed.

Raine and I were both something to be talked about. Her with her blue eyes
and long, brown hair and features just as stunning as her brother, and me
with my unique green eyes and lighter, short hair. Boys in our grade started
to shift from simply talking to us, to flirting with us. By the middle of 8th
grade, I had finally been asked on my first date. My months spent flirting
with Scott Cameron finally paid off and he asked me to go to the arcade
with him.

However, the date didn't happen. I showed up, but Scott never did. That
night, instead of trying to beat the high score on Pac Man or playing air
hockey, I found myself curled up on Raine's couch, tears brimming my
eyes, watching

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

for probably the 50th time.

"Why would he ditch me like that?" I sniffled.

Raine handed me the box of tissues by her side and frowned. "Because he's
an idiot, that's why."

"A hot idiot that I really wanted to go on a date with," I say, sending more
tears to my eyes and overflowing down my cheeks.

Raine just came closer and wrapped me in a hug, knowing words weren't
going to do much for me at that point. Moments later, the front door swung
open to reveal Toby coming home from Warren's.

"This movie

again?

" He groaned as he took off his jacket. "God, Alyse, you only watch this
crap when you're feeling hopelessly, grossly romantic."
I tried to sniffle subtly so as not to clue him in on my tears, avoiding
looking in his direction so that the glow of the TV wouldn't illuminate my
puffy face. Not that he'd care, but I couldn't deal with any more of him
making fun of me.

"Drop it, Toby," Raine said, shooting him a glare.

"What? You know I'm right."

"I don't care if you're right or not, just drop it. Okay?"

The movie shifted to brighter scenery, lighting up the dark living room just
enough for Toby to see my face and all its wet, puffy glory. His mouth,
open for some sort of comeback, quickly shut. His gaze was stuck on me
for a few moments too long to be indifferent to my tears, but at the time I
hadn't really noticed. All I could focus on was the utter embarrassment of
being ditched on my

first date.

Toby simply nodded and began walking up the stairs. Unbeknownst to me

at the time, he didn't walk fully into his room. Instead, he walked just high
enough that the wall would shield him from our sights as he sat on the steps
to listen in on our conversation and find out whatever it was that made me
cry.

"Ignore him," Raine said softly, "He's almost as much of an idiot as Scott."

"I should text him," I suddenly decided, throwing the blanket off of me to
find my phone.

"I don't think that's a good idea-"

"Maybe his dad's car broke down and that's why he never showed up! I
should text to make sure that didn't happen."

"Alyse...you already texted him when you were at the arcade. He didn't
respond then."
"That was

then,

this is now!"

As I took out my phone to text, Raine gently covered my hands with her
own and shook her head.

"I don't think you should give him the satisfaction of letting him know
you're thinking about him."

The next day, Raine convinced me to go to school with my head held high
as if I was never ditched at the arcade by potentially the cutest guy in our
grade. It was working very well, the facade I put up of being indifferent to
being stood up for my first ever date, until Scott had the audacity to come
talk to me during lunch. I planned on ignoring him, but it was impossible
for me to ignore the fresh black eye he was sporting on his left eye. So,
when he asked if we could talk, I agreed and walked off to the side of the
cafeteria with him.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't show up for the date," he grumbled, staring down
at his shoes as if trying to hide the black eye.

"Okay."

"That's it? Just 'okay'?"

"You

ditched

me."

Scott sighed, looking annoyed with the conversation, before he finally met
my eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. It was a stupid dare by my friends to ask you
out, I guess I never should have done it in the first place."

Okay,
ouch

. That certainly didn't make me feel any better, and that familiar tightening
of my chest came back. I had to basically swallow down my tears to avoid
eternal embarrassment for crying over the pathetic guy in front of me.

"How'd you get that," I asked instead, nodding to his grotesque eye.

"I-I'm not supposed to say."

"You literally asked me out on a dare and left me waiting in an arcade lobby
for nearly an hour. I think answering my question is the least you can do," I
said dryly.

With hesitance, Scott looked at me and finally let out a breath of annoyance.

"Fine. Toby Winter did it. He found me in the bus loop this morning, he
seemed pretty pissed off that I ditched you."

I recoiled in shock. I stood there, staring at Scott with a dumbfounded

expression.

Toby?

"Yeah right, who really did it?"

"I just told you."

"Toby hates me. He wouldn't do that for me."

Scott shrugged, clearly bored with the conversation now that he said all that
he wanted. Without so much as a goodbye, he walked away, and I was left
standing there to stare at the concrete wall in confusion.

Later that week, when Raine and I were in her room trying to study for our
algebra test, I still couldn't get what Scott said out of my head. I hadn't told
Raine simply because I didn't fully believe it. Scott must've just wanted a
way out of our conversation and figured that pinning the injury on my best
friend's brother was the best exit strategy. Best friend's older brother
typically means protective, at least that's what it means in the books and
movies.

"I'm gonna go get some water," I muttered as I got up from the bed, "all of
these graphs are giving me a headache."

As I walked down the hallway, I happened to pass Toby's room. His door
was swung open, but I refused to risk a glance just in case he caught me
peering in.

"Alyse."

I had just passed his door when he called out, so I slowly backtracked and
allowed myself to glance into his room. He was standing by his dresser,
doing up the last few buttons to his short-sleeved shirt. His hair was done
up nicely, his shorts were actual khakis rather than loose basketball shorts,
and his shirt was free of any wrinkles. However, my brow made up for the
lack of wrinkles in his clothes as I tried to piece together why he looked so
nice.

I stood in his doorway, leaning on the frame with my arms crossed and one
brow raised in silent question.

"I heard about Scott," he admitted, looking away from the mirror to set his
attention on me. When his eyes met mine, my stomach did some sort of
stupid flip that left me silently cursing myself.

I didn't know when it started, but I was no longer able to control my

reactions to gaining Toby's attention. What once made me scowl in
annoyance turned into me fighting away a blush. His smile used to make
my stomach churn in anger, mainly because it was typically matched with
some successful prank on me, but then it started to make my heart skip a
beat when directed solely at me.

I hated it.

I stared back at him, wondering where the conversation was going. Toby
and I didn't talk much one-on-one unless it was a brief conversation about
some stupid prank.

He leaned his hands against his dresser behind him, eyes still holding mine
captive.

"I'm sorry that he ditched you and I'm sorry that I made fun last night. I
didn't know."

I shrugged it off, ready to say a simple thanks and walk away, but then my
eyes caught sight of the blotchy, red swollen knuckles on his right hand.
Scott's black eye invaded my mind for a moment, and I recalled who he said
the culprit was.

Upon my awkward-length of silence, Toby nodded once and lightly pushed

off of his dresser, turning back around to face the mirror and mess with his
styled hair. My gaze was still stuck to his knuckles, noting the way he could
barely move his middle and index fingers without wincing ever so slightly.

"Toby?"

He paused and caught my eye through the mirror, turning to face me with a
borderline bored look.

"Thank you."

"For?"

I stood up a little straighter, feeling awkward, and nodded to his hand.

"Scott came and apologized to me today."

Toby followed my line of sight to his hand and quickly placed it behind his
back, clearing his throat. "Yeah, well Scott's a douche, he deserved it.
Anyway, I've got to get ready for my date."

His response was laced with a dismissive tone, as if punching Scott hadn't
been an action any different from swatting an annoying bug away from his
face. I bit my tongue as I stared at him. Of course he hadn't punched Scott
for my benefit. Why had I assumed that, anyway? He and I aren't friends.
We're barely even acquaintances.
"Have fun," I muttered with an eye roll.

Toby caught my tone and mistook it for something else, his lips lifting
cockily in one corner. "Jealous?"

"Says the one who punched the guy I went on a date with."

"The guy that stood you up," Toby corrected, stepping closer to lean against
his bed post.

"Is that why you punched him?"

"No."

Then he started walking over to me.

My breath got caught in my throat at his sudden, yet still slow action. I
removed any reaction from my expression and stared at him, unwilling to
be the one to give in and break our gaze. Then he stood right in front of me,
towering over me even at our young age. The scent of his soap was
radiating from him, or maybe that was some sort of cologne? He must've
just washed his clothes that day, too, because he smelled like fresh laundry
as well. A bolt of jealousy shocked my stomach when I thought about the
girl he had gotten all cleaned up for.

"I punched him because he made you cry. And, as it turns out, I really don't
like seeing you cry," Toby said.

Without giving me the chance to respond, Toby kept my gaze for only a
moment longer before side stepping and walking right past me to leave for
his date. I was left standing there, at a loss for words for perhaps the first
time in my life.

An hour later, Raine and I had ditched studying and went downstairs to
watch TV. Only five minutes in, she nodded off to sleep and I flipped
through the channels. I had just found the movie I was searching for and
clicked on it, and then Benjamin Barry was on the screen, and all was right
in the world.
As the movie progressed, the front door suddenly swung open, and Marcus
and Toby came inside. Marcus waved to me with a smile before retreating
to his office down the hall.

"How was the date?" I muttered since Toby decided to walk into the living
room.

He plopped down on the couch next to me and began taking his shoes off
with a snort.

"Hardly a date." Then he nodded to Raine on the other side of me, sprawled
out in the corner of the sectional. "Asleep?"

I nodded and moved my attention back to the TV.

"Still not over Scott?"

"What?"

Toby tilted his head to the TV with a small smirk. "You're watching this
stupid movie again. You only watch it when you're trying to get over a
romance or when you want to start one."

I rolled my eyes, wishing he'd go away but also wishing he'd come closer.

"I'm over Scott. I was just embarrassed, but I'm over it now. How come it
was hardly a date?"

Toby shrugged. "I was distracted. Who, then?"

"'Who'?" I echoed.

Toby glanced back at the screen in answer. "Who are you watching the
movie for?"

"Why does there have to be a who?"

"Okay, then there must be a why."

I narrowed my eyes at him as annoyance began bubbling deep in my chest.
"Sure.

Why

are you so interested?" I snapped.

Toby huffed and stood up, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I was
just trying to help. The last time I saw you watching this movie you were
crying over a guy that didn't deserve it."

"Why do you even care? You don't even like me."

His jaw clenched and he seemed like he was about to reply, but then Raine
stirred and yawned loudly.

"Yes he does," she said.

My and Toby's attention snapped to her and she rolled her eyes.

"Come on. He clearly punched Scott because he has a thing for you. You
two have known each other since you were, like, five."

I guffawed, "Yeah, known and practically hated."

Raine gave me a bored look. "You know, he's always looking at you when
you come over. Who do you think he was distracted by on his date?"

Toby piped into the conversation at that. "You've been awake this whole
time?"

"It's not like you two were whispering."

"Whatever," I said suddenly, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Toby,

it's fine. I know we have a mutual dislike for each other, you don't have to
defend it. And Raine? Go back to sleep."

She just chuckled quietly but obliged and laid her head back down on the
pillows, heading back to sleep almost instantly. Meanwhile, I put my
attention back on Toby who was staring at me with a blank expression.

"Sorry your date wasn't all you hoped for. But unless you want to watch this
movie with me, do you mind?" I asked, internally wincing at how rude it
sounded but keeping my expression as firm as my tone.

Toby continued to stare at me for a few moments, his expression unreadable

until he spoke up with a tight voice.

"If I disliked you so much, then I wouldn't have punched Scott."

His footsteps followed his sentence, placing an exclamation mark at the end
when he slammed his bedroom door shut.

---

Thank you to The Summer I Turned Pretty for the inspiration, add the new
Prime series to your summer watch-list!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfAueqEab30
Chapter Three - Sponsored by
Prime Video
The sun has almost completely set into the horizon and the night has turned
dark, so Toby stands up to begin lighting the tiki torches around the patio.
They double as a great source of light and a great way to keep the
mosquitos away.

"Okay, then Toby was totally crushing on you, but you were still in denial?"
West asks, his lemonade completely finished now.

"He

absolutely

was crushing on her," Raine states before Toby can confirm or deny it.
"They both were crushing on each other; it was so obvious. That was the
first time I spoke up and said something about it to them, and it

still

took another four years for them to actually own up to it and kiss. Some
stupid male mindset that by being with Alyse, he would be taking her away
from me."

After lighting the last Tiki torch, Toby and I share a look and I smile
sheepishly. Raine perks up and her eyes dart between us, the fire from the
torch illuminating her face.

"Hold on- is there something that even

don't know?"
Toby sits back down next to me, his look matched with a shrug.

"I mean...may as well tell her, right?" He murmurs to me.

I let out a long breath and nod, "Yeah, better late than never."

"Things just got interesting," Gray notes, ditching his hat and relaxed
position to sit up and place his full attention on me.

"After that night, Toby and I rarely talked anymore, and the pranks had
definitely ceased altogether. He was practically ignoring me, something I
thought I always wanted until it actually happened. Instead, it hurt me.
Weeks went by before we ever talked about it, and by that point Raine and I
were freshmen in high school..."

Raine and I never worried about fitting in in high school. Toby was pretty
popular for being only a sophomore, being friends with Warren had
something to do with that since he was quite the baseball star. Plus, by that
point, Toby had started his reputation of being quite the flirt with the ladies.
That mixed in with him ignoring me was like a dagger every time I heard a
new rumor of another date he went on.

It was only the third week of school when Toby and Warren invited Raine
and I to our first party. First party! We were ecstatic, our next four years
were going to be defined by that night. Raine was almost more excited than
I was, mainly because Warren personally invited her. She had developed
quite the crush on him, and it seemed like he reciprocated her feelings, if
his constant attention to her was any indicator.

At the party, Warren and Toby were by our sides practically the whole time.
But Toby still wasn't talking to me. It was as if we were awkwardly
standing there on a date between our best friends. We weren't alone until it
had seemed like Raine drank one too many cups of the jungle juice.

"Okay, I should take her home. How did she manage to drink so much?"
Toby asked, taking her away from where she leaned on Warren for support.
Warren held onto her, though. "Toby, it's okay. I think she just drank a lot to
ease the social anxiety of her first party, I'll take care of her."

Toby eyed Warren who not so subtly nodded towards me with a certain
look, and Toby sighed with a nod.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, man. But you're sure that she's okay?" He
asked again, eyeing his sister worriedly. "I really think I should take her
home."

"I-I don't wanna go home," Raine mumbled drunkenly, her eyes barely open
and her feet most definitely not supporting her on her own. Warren was the
only thing holding her up. He just laughed and gave her a squeeze.

"See, Toby? She just needs a quick rest and then she'll be ready to party
some more. Trust me," he said, and before Toby could argue, Warren began
taking Raine away from the party to rest.

"I should go get her," Toby muttered under his breath. "I know Warren can
handle her, but she needs to get home."

"I agree," I said, and we both started to weave through the party to find
Warren. "I'm surprised you even invited us."

Toby glanced over at me, and my heart nearly stopped. It was probably the
first time he had actually met my gaze in weeks.

"Why?"

I shrugged and narrowly dodged a girl beginning to twerk on her date. "You
haven't talked to me in weeks and then invite me to a party?"

After we got through the crowd, Toby slowed and put his hands in his
pockets, leaning against the wall with a sigh.

"It was Warren's idea, really. He wanted to be able to invite Raine and
figured asking you too could be the excuse for the two of us to talk," he
admitted. "I thought it was a good idea. Why are you so surprised, anyway?
We used to hang out all the time."
"'Used to' being the key words. But, again, you've pretty much ignored me
for the last few weeks. I get that you hate me, but you used to at least have
the decency to acknowledge my existence."

Toby paused the sipping of his drink to stare at me, slowly lowering the cup
back down to his side. "Why are you so convinced that I hate you?"

I wrapped my arms around me, and I glanced away. "Because that's kind of
like our thing, isn't it? I see you in the movie theater watching

How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days,

you hate me for having the chance to expose your little 6-year-old secret.
You steal my Barbie and cut its hair, I hate you for ruining my toy, and the
list goes on and on."

He eyed me, "Our 'thing' was pranking. Not hating."

I looked down into the remaining liquid in my cup and didn't answer.

"So,

you

hate

me,

then?" He prodded.

My eyes instantly lifted to meet his gaze with my answer clear in my

expression. No. I didn't hate him. If anything, I thought my feelings toward
him had gone pretty much in the opposite direction. I would have spoken
up, too, if the small smirk on his lips hadn't given away that he already
knew my answer. And his cocky expression only made me blush and roll
my eyes at him.

"Whatever," I grumbled.
"For the record, I cut that Barbie's hair to match the length of yours.
Thought it looked prettier that way."

I raised a brow at him, "You said 'there, now it's ugly like you.'"

Toby cringed, "I was seven."

"I was six and went home crying. Still want to punch whoever makes me
cry?"

Toby looked into his cup with a guilty expression and swirled his beer
around. "Invent time travel and I'll go back and kick my seven-year-old self
into next year for that comment. I'm sorry, I clearly didn't know how to
properly flirt as a kid."

"Calling a girl ugly is definitely never a good start."

"I've gotten better."

"By practicing on real girls instead of Barbie's."

Toby took another sip of his beer and kept his eyes on me. "Jealous?"

"Depends," I quipped, knowing what game he was trying to play. But I

could play it too. "You asked me why I was watching the movie that night,
still want to know?"

"Interesting time to change the conversation, but sure," Toby said, his lips
forming a sly grin.

"I hadn't had my first kiss and I

really

wanted Scott to be the one to give it to me."

Toby's grin dropped within seconds, "'Hadn't.' Past tense?"

My lips now held a smirk that could rival his and I took a cocky sip from
my own drink. "Jealous?"

Toby pushed off of the wall he had previously been leaning on to walk
closer to me, but I refused to let it phase me.

"Depends," he said.

"On?"

"On which part of that sentence was

actually

past tense," he said, and my smirk gets replaced by his.

Damn him. Damn him for seeing through what I had been trying to do. I
still hadn't had my first kiss, and he knew that.

"So, how am I doing?" He asked, our chests now much too close for two
people that presumably did not like one another.

"In what regard?" I forced my voice to sound as unphased as possible, but

the truth was that every nerve ending of mine was wide awake with Toby's
close proximity. I could smell the same soap on him, the same fresh
laundry, but that time it didn't seem like he had done it for another girl.

"Flirting. Has all that practice paid off?"

I swallowed hard as my eyes darted down to his lips, but I peeled them
away to meet his expression. The cocky look in his eye diminished into
something else entirely, one that I'm almost positive my own look mirrored.

"I still think you could use some improvement," I managed to say.

Toby smiled for a second, and next thing I knew there was a jolt of
electricity on my waist, and I barely held in a gasp. His hand was on my
waist, hesitant yet comfortable. My heartbeat was practically in my throat
by this point, and I worried he could feel it pulsating even through his hand
on my waist.

"Okay, how's this? I am jealous. I'm jealous of whoever it was that got to
give you your first kiss and I hope he made it worth your while. I hope he
cherished that moment with you and made it special. But mostly, I hope it
made you think of me the way mine made me think of you."

Our eyes refused to look away from one another. My mouth parted slightly
in shock, but he kept staring at me with nervous anticipation. His breathing
had picked up slightly as he awaited my response, but I didn't know what to
say.

"And every kiss since then, for that matter," he admitted into the silence.

"I-I wouldn't know," I finally said. "I never actually had my first kiss."

Toby began to smile, and his eyes dipped down to my lips, his hand on my
waist becoming more confident.

"Is there someone you had in mind?"

"Yeah," I whispered, "But Scott isn't here so-"

Toby's hand moved from my waist to the small of the back as he pulled me
closer with a small chuckle, cutting me off as I smiled.

"Anyone else?"

I lifted my free hand and slid it up his chest, over his shoulder, and let it rest
on the back of his neck, forming goosebumps along the way.

"Just kiss me."

And he did. He practically tossed his empty cup behind him and rested his
hand on my cheek, pulling me in as his lips landed on mine. It was
instantaneous. The feeling we both got. It felt right. It felt perfect. And we
both knew it.
But when we pulled apart, his eyes weren't on me. They were laser focused
on something behind me, confusion clouding his eyes as his hand slowly
dropped from my cheek.

"Toby? What's wrong?" I asked.

I whipped around just in time to see Warren sprinting out of the party,
looking disheveled with his shirt untucked and a bright red scratch on his
cheek.

Raine was nowhere in sight.

From that point on, guilt outweighed everything Toby and I felt for one
another. Raine became our number one priority, and we both knew that
things between us could never be.

We knew that we should have taken Raine home that night. We were on our
way to get her. We only stopped for our stupid, flirtatious exchange. For
that stupid, amazing kiss. If we hadn't stopped, if we hadn't been so selfish,
Raine wouldn't have been harmed.

It took Raine's healing for the two of us to heal from the damage we thought
we had caused.

The End

Thank you to The Summer I Turned Pretty for the inspiration, add the new
Prime series to your summer watch-list!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfAueqEab30
One More Bonus Chapter
Author's Note:

Last year, I wrote a bonus series about the origin of Toby and Alyse's
romance. This year, I am extremely excited to share the love story between
Raine's parents as told through the diary of the late Janet Winter. While
their story ends with some heartbreak, you don't want to miss reading the
start of the Winter's love! In this chapter, you'll embark on a whole new
perspective to the relationship that brought you Raine and Toby.

Read on for some nostalgia through cute moments between your favorite
couple (West and Raine) as they find Mrs. Winter's high school diary filled
with pages about her teenage crush: Marcus Winter.

Thank you to

The Summer I Turned Pretty

for the inspiration, and I encourage you all to go give it a read and add the
second season to the hit Prime Video series to your summer watch-list!

---

Dear Diary, Love Janet

-Raine POV-

I knew I'd miss my brother when he left for college. I knew I'd cry while
hugging him goodbye after moving him into his dorm room. I knew I'd
have to step out of the room when he and Alyse said their goodbye that
turned much too passionate for his little sister/her best friend to witness...

What I

didn't
know is that he'd be calling in a panic less than twenty four hours after
being moved into college to beg me to go looking for some old gaming
console he stored in the attic and forgot to bring with him.

But, here West and I are, walking up to the dusty attic of my house to try
and find the old GameCube Toby apparently

needs

in order to survive living in his dorm room.

"Perks of community college," West says as we both carefully ascend the

rickety steps into the attic. He goes first, making sure the wooden steps
won't randomly materialize beneath his weight. "No need for me to move a
bunch of stuff in and out of a dorm room."

As we both fully ascend the stairs and reach the attic, the sweet scent of my
house turns into heavy, musky air that makes me scrunch my nose in
disgust. West pulls on the old chain for the lights and one singular bulb
slowly flickers on. There's a low buzz that sounds in our ears as the bulb
lights up.

"Doing this at night was not our brightest idea," I sigh, only for it to turn
into a cough from the musty air. "Let's find the GameCube and get out of
here."

West glances at me, a smirk barely visible in the dull light, illuminating his
handsome features. "Scared, Sunshine?"

"With you? Never," I say shamelessly.

His smirk melts away into a softer grin. His arm winds around my waist as
he pulls me into his side, kissing the top of my head. "And you'll never have
to be. Unless there's a spider."

I laugh, poking his side. When we pull apart, I glance around the attic and a
shiver of discomfort passes through me. "This room

does
kind of freak me out, though. So let's find that GameCube sooner rather
than later, yeah?"

West chuckles and we split up to cover more ground considering the attic is
filled with old boxes stacked on one another. Everything in here seems to
have a massive layer of dust, and I keep sneezing because of it.

I maneuver around the boxes, trying to set my sights on the purple console
Toby described (as if I hadn't grown up seeing him play on it). It shouldn't
be too hard. This room is nothing but a sea of brown and gray- a pop of
color should be simple to spot even in the low light.

In the far corner, using nothing but the flashlight on my phone, I locate a
large stack of boxes with something small that actually looks void of any
dust and vaguely purple sitting at the very top. Toby mentioned he put the
GameCube up here around a year ago, so it would make sense for it to be
the only thing without years of dust piled on top.

However, the stack of boxes rises well above my head. Fortunately, just to
the side there's an uneven stack of old textbooks that look like they were
from when my dad went to college. I smile. It's a perfect make-shift step
ladder. I carefully step onto the stack of books (glad that it holds my
weight) and reach as high as I can to grab the GameCube. When I still can't
reach, I choose to stand on my tiptoes. Which proves quickly to be a
mistake...

In an instant, I lose my balance and go toppling into the large stack of

boxes. With a yelp, I go tumbling down along with everything else.

"Sunshine?" West quickly calls, darting across the attic to find me among
the wreckage. "Hey, are you okay?" His brown eyes scan my body for signs
of damage.

"I'm okay," I huff.

Most of the boxes must have been only half filled, because nothing
physically hurt me when I went toppling down. From the corner of my eye,
I spot the GameCube and let out a sigh of relief. It landed safely on top of a
split open box, revealing a bunch of women's coats that softened the fall.

But the relief that I didn't break the gaming console is short lived. In its
place comes a stinging sensation in my heart as I look through all of the
wreckage.

"What is all of this?" West asks as he helps me up.

With a deep frown, I kneel down over the box of clothes, now spilled across
the floor. My hand hovers over the material, wishing to imagine what the
owner looked like wearing the dresses, shirts, and jeans now covering the
floor. The years without seeing her have begun to take away her image from
my mind. I have to rely on pictures to help fill in the mental gaps.

"It's my mom's stuff."

West pauses and his eyes jump to me. He stays quiet as my gaze travels
slowly among all of her things. Each item digs the knife in my heart further.
I wish I could say these clothes brought back warm memories of her, but
most of those have been cruelly taken away by time. I was just a little kid
when she died.

Then, beneath one of the winter coats, I spot something pink peaking out. I
quickly toss the coat to the side and grab the small, pink notebook
underneath. Carefully, I turn it over in my hands and open it to the first
page.

Janet Abbott's Diary

1987-1988

"What is it?"

"It's her diary," I say shakily, my hand ghosting across her beautiful
handwriting.

"1987," West reads over my shoulder. "That would have been high school
for her, right?"
"She would have been a senior." Suddenly, my heart leaps in my chest and
snags in my throat, falling back down before hammering with elation. "This
is the year she and my dad started dating. I bet she wrote about it!"

"Didn't they teach you not to read another girl's diary?"

I hesitate before flipping to the next page and glance at West, a pout
forming on my lips. "She's my mom, though."

In the dim light, I missed the teasing gleam in his eye. His lips twitch away
from his smirk and into a small frown. "I know that, Sunshine. I was only
kidding. This is a piece of your mom, you have every right to get to know
her better." Then, after a second, his smirk is back and he tilts his head. "Do

you

have a diary that you kept when you first fell in love with me?"

My face flushes red, but I'm sure he can't see it considering the single
lightbulb in the attic is nowhere near us.

"It's called my songbook, and you got access to that pretty quickly."

West chuckles, nodding to the diary and taking a small step back so as not
to invade my or my moms privacy.

Wordlessly, I flip open the diary to the first page and begin reading in the
dim light of the attic.

September 8th, 1987

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of Senior year. I have thought about today nearly
every single second since freshman year. The girls have, too. Becky said she
was so excited she couldn't sleep last night.

I thought I had today outlined down to the very second: Arrive at school in
Danny's convertible, meet up with the girls, walk into school all together.
All eyes on us. It would be my Molly Ringwald moment... since she's the
female heartthrob in every movie lately. (Big whoop).

But then

he

walked in and everything changed.

Today's motto for me and the girls was supposed to be: Rule The School.
Instead, for me it became one name: Marcus Winter. You remember him,
don't you? Duh, he's somewhat impossible to forget.

Marcus is the reason I started a diary back in fifth grade in the first place.

He was my absolute best friend ever since we met on the first day of
kindergarten. As kids, it was him and me against the world.

Ever since kindergarten, we hadn't had a class away from each other. I
remember how the teachers and parents used to tease us... saying that such
a cute little boy and pretty little girl were bound to date someday. We both
hated that. Used to gag at the idea. Why was it that no one could
understand that we were

just friends

Maybe, if we had stayed friends the older we got, that could have become a
more realistic concept. But we never really got the chance. He moved away
the summer before 6th grade, remember? Duh. I cried for, like, a solid week
after that. We were best friends one day and strangers the next.

I hadn't seen him in nearly six years. It was to the point that I had almost
forgotten about that childhood friend. Or, I at least had come to grips with
the fact I'd likely never see Marcus again.

Until today. When I saw him standing there in the cafeteria. It only took me
about three seconds to recognize him.
Marcus was a

cute

kid! I shouldn't be surprised that he grew up to be such a heartthrob. His

bright blue eyes somehow got even brighter and his skin tanned a bit more.
As a kid, those eyes got him both into and out of all sorts of trouble. No
adult could say no to him, and no adult could stay mad.

Wherever he lived for the past six years, he clearly played every sport they
had with how well he filled out those jeans and that loose t-shirt today... I
mean, Marcus is

buff

now. And tall. Very,

very

tall.

And that smile... wickedly cute and just as breathtaking as before.

Ugh. For a second here, I forgot I was with Danny Harris.

Oh, that's right! I haven't really written in my diary since last year, but
during the summer Danny and I started going steady. (Duh, I just said that).
I couldn't believe it when he started talking to me; he's captain of the
baseball team and nearly every girl's dream. In middle school, I was a
complete freakazoid. Now, the star baseball player wants to date me.

So, after reminding myself that I'm with Danny, when I saw Marcus in the
cafeteria I looked away and kept walking.

I don't think he even remembered me. If he did see and recognize me, he
made no signs of it.

But... if I don't write this down now, I may convince myself that I imagined
it. Just before leaving the cafeteria, I thought I felt him looking at me. It was
some sort of feeling of familiarity that washed over me. So, I looked his
way. He wasn't looking at me, duh. Probably just false hope. (But I could
have sworn he was).

Instead, he had his eyes pinned to the book in his hands as if it was the most
interesting thing in the world. He always was a pretty avid reader, like me.

Just before I left the café, though, I noticed that the book was upside down.

-Until next time,

Janet

My eyes scan the pages of my mother's diary, soaking in every single word
and leaving nothing unread. I feel West next to me, his gentle hand on my
back as I scour her handwriting.

"I never got to hear their love story from her side," I admit softly when I
reach the end of the first passage.

"Is that what you're reading now?"

"I think so... although it sounds from this passage like they turned into
complete strangers."

He smiles, nodding back to the diary. "Don't let me stop you. Find out when
that stopped."

September 14th, 1987

Dear Diary,

Today in English, Mr. Chevy tasked us with our first paper of the semester.
But I couldn't even focus on the prompt... Because stupid Marcus is stuck in
my mind despite not saying a single word to me since he moved back to
town.

Today, when I got to school, I saw him walking with the she-devil herself.
Suzy Anderson.
At this point, I

really

don't think he remembers who I am. It would be too embarrassing to try and
talk to him and jog his memory, especially not with the amount of girls
already throwing themselves at him as the new heartthrob in school. I don't
want Danny (or anyone) to think I'm doing the same. What a wannabe I
would become...

But...

Suzy

? Really, Marcus? Even if he doesn't remember me

doesn't he remember how awful she was as a kid? She used to bully me all
the time! Marcus was the one who always came to my rescue, too. Once, he
even threw dirt at her after she called me ugly. Still. Today he was walking
with her to class, holding her books, and laughing with her. And (duh) even
his laugh is incredibly attractive. It's like...music, almost. He caught my eye
in passing, but I looked away as if stung by his gaze and kept walking with
my head held high. If there was any recognition in his expression, I didn't
see it.

There was this pain in my heart when I saw them walking together... It was
almost unbearable. I don't know if it's because I saw him walking with her
or because it's just further proof he doesn't remember who I am. Or, if he
does, that our friendship may have never meant anything to him at all.

Oh. And Danny took me out for ice cream tonight. That was nice.

This is something I'll only ever admit in this diary... As I sit here, I realize I
have no clue what color Danny's eyes are and have no mental memory of
what his laugh sounds like.

-Until next time,

Janet

I frown as I reach the end of her September 14th entry. That pain... I know
what it feels like. I used to get the same aching sensation when I saw West
walking with Tina. Of course, Tina was never a rival in my mind.

"This is different from how Dad tells the story," I admit, gnawing on my
bottom lip. "So far, my mom just seems... heartbroken."

"How so?"

"Well, it seems like my dad started pursuing my mom's childhood bully...

Maybe as a jealousy tactic, I don't know."

"Not everyone is straightforward with their attraction."

I quirk a brow, "You mean as straightforward as you, right?"

West smirks with a small shrug. "I had no interest in anyone else. Marcus

does

seem like the type to go with the jealousy strategy, though." West teases,
bumping my shoulder. "Keep reading. You know there's a happy ending in
there somewhere. They

did

get married."

I chuckle, nodding my agreement before diving back into the story.

September 18th, 1987

Dear Diary,

He does remember me.

During my free block today, I was in the library as usual. Mrs. Polly had me
returning books back to their proper shelves. You know, though, that's my
favorite thing to do. Call me nosey, but I love getting to see the most recent
name on the sleeve of a book to see who checked it out. It gives me an idea
of who reads, what they read, and how they may view the world based upon
it.

Even as a little girl I loved seeing the world through books. It's one of the
things Marcus and I had in common. For an aspiring athlete (always first
pick when it came to kick-ball, wiffleball, and every other sport under the
sun), he had a great love for reading just like I did.

Ugh. I hate that without meaning to, I'm thinking and writing about him.

He still hadn't spoken to me. Which is why I was so shocked when I found
him watching me from the end of the aisle where I was busy restocking
books. But those piercing blue eyes stuck on me from afar nearly gave me a
heart attack. The handsome, amused smile he gave after my startled
reaction fueled my erratic heartbeat even more.

When I asked if I could help him, that smile remained and he held up his
book as he said he just needed to return it. Can you believe it? In nearly six
years, the first interaction we had was me rudely asking what he needed
help with and him mumbling about how he needed to return some random
book!

Not quite the reunion with my best friend that I had expected. Although, at
this point, I didn't expect anything.

He was reading 'It'. You know, the horror novel by Stephen King (aka one of
my least favorite writers). Given I stay away from that genre, I had no clue
where the book went. Marcus called me out on that. Said something about
how he could place it back if I didn't know where to put it.

I don't know why, but that really ticked me off. He doesn't say a single word
to me for three weeks, then one of the first things he does say is calling me
out for not knowing how to do my job? So, naturally, I lied and said I knew
precisely where the book went. Duh. That only made his heart-stopping
smile reappear and those bright blue eyes crinkled at the sides as he
watched me.

"No you don't, Janie. You hate anything horror related."

Janie. That was his nickname for me when we were kids and not a single
other person has called me that since. It took me a few seconds for the
gears to turn and click into place. He did remember me. I wish I had said
something better in response. Instead, all I think I said was (completely
monotone): "You...remember me."

Marcus looked a little puzzled. The same tilted head and scrunched brow
expression that he had when we were little kids. He just responded with a
simple, "Well...yeah."

I walked away.

Why? I have no clue. Sometimes, I do stupid things. Ugh.

-Until next time,

Janie

September 22nd, 1987

Dear Diary,

Marcus and I still haven't talked since our awkward library run in.

Usually, the library has the same few students mingling around with a few
random kids stopping by for books to help them with their assignments.
Lately, we've developed a new regular; Marcus Winter. I could gag at the
way he nearly charms the panties off of Mrs. Polly with nothing but a few
words and that stupidly handsome smile...

I wish I didn't notice, but his presence is hard to ignore. He sits (every day)
at a small, round table in the middle of the library. Reading his stupid
Stephen King books. Every now and then, I know I feel his gaze on me, but
when I risk glancing at him, he seems fully engrossed in his book.
Well, Marcus. If you're going to come into

my

territory and stare at

me

, you could at least own up to it. Today, I wasn't playing this little game
anymore.

So, I stormed up to him in the silent library and slammed my hands onto the
table with a little more force than necessary. (Sometimes, I can be a real
hothead. I'll admit it here and here only). Marcus jumped out of his reading,
wide eyes finding mine from above his book.

"You remember me," was all I said. Accusatory, really. Duh, Janet. He made
that clear last week. At this point, he probably thought that's all I knew how
to say...

Marcus laid his book down, furrowing his brow at me. "Yeah... why does
that surprise you?" He had asked. "Six years doesn't make you forget a
person you used to be best friends with."

Used to. That stung. I knew we weren't really friends anymore, because
friends don't ignore each other like we had been doing. Nonetheless, his
choice of words just fueled my anger even more and the words tumbled out
of me.

"Because you haven't said a

single word

to me in the past three weeks, then you just randomly show up and use my
nickname from when we were kids, and then
instead of continuing to talk to me, you just come to the library every day
and watch me do my job like some sort of stalker." I countered, or with
something of the sort. (I haven't spoken a single word to him, either... but
that's beside the point. He ignored me first).

Marcus stared at me with wide eyes. His lips moved as he tried to figure out
a response, clearly unsure of what to do with an annoyed, and pretty ticked
off, teenage girl glaring at him.

Finally, he cleared his throat and looked at me calmly, his lips tugged into a
frown. "Honestly, I didn't know if you remembered me. If you did, it seemed
like you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Being near you felt like the
closest I would get to actually...talking to you."

All the anger I had completely disappeared in that moment. He looked sad.
As kids, I felt it was my job to make sure Marcus was never sad, and here I
was as the culprit. "So...you weren't purposefully ignoring me?"

He shook his head. So, I sat down at the table across from him, letting out a
massive sigh of embarrassment and guilt.

"I thought

forgot about

," I admitted shyly. "So, in turn, I ignored you. I was never great with
handling feelings..."

But Marcus didn't look angry with me. When I sat down and spoke, all he
did was smile. He was always a very calm, patient kid. I'm glad to see that
remained a part of him.

"Janie," he had said, a gleam in his eye, "forget you? I don't know if it's
possible to forget your first crush. Especially not when she's somehow even
more beautiful the next time you see her."

I think I just stared dumbly at him. He continued to smile at me and kept

laying on the compliments. Even if I don't write them down now, I know I'll
never forget what he said to me today.

"I'm sorry for the 'stalker' staring. But, can you blame me? I didn't get to
see you for six years... and even if you wouldn't talk to me, I still wanted to
be around you."

Again. I stared dumbly. I think I responded with something, because his

smile widened and his blue eyes twinkled. Maybe I said that I missed him?
Because in response, he shook his head in an almost disbelieving way, as if
he couldn't believe that I was really sitting in front of him and said: "Janie,
you have no idea how much I've missed you."

Well. I guess Mrs. Polly isn't the only one he's able to charm the panties off
of...

-Until next time,

Janie

"I take it the jealousy tactic worked, then?" West asks, smirking at the giddy
smile that's taken over my face. "Have they become Mr. and Mrs. Winter,
yet?"

I laugh, "I'm still reading from 1987..."

"Some people marry young."

September 23rd, 1987

Dear Diary,

I broke up with Danny.

-Until next time

Janie

I have to set the diary down for a moment, lifting my hand to cover my
mouth as light laughter rolls from my lips. West gives me a questioning
look.

"She broke up with her boyfriend the day after my dad admitted he had a
crush on her."

"Points to Mrs. Winter for avoiding turning this diary into a cheating trope."

September 25th, 1987

Dear Diary,

Tonight was our first date. Marcus respectfully waited two days after I
broke up with Danny to ask me out. (There were no hard feelings between
Danny or me. He had been eyeing Heather M. for weeks, apparently, and
didn't know how to break things off with me). That's what I call a win-win.
Danny had a reputation for jumping from girl to girl, anyway. Becky tried
to warn me about him, so she was beyond happy when I spilled everything
to her last night.

Actually, Marcus isn't the only one who asked me out when Danny and I
ended things. John Wilson was the first and asked me to go to the drive-in
with him, then Parker Clark who asked me to go out for milkshakes. I
turned them both down.

Marcus took me bowling. Not the most romantic first date, but there was
something sentimental about it.

In fourth grade, our class took a field trip to the bowling alley. It was both
mine and his first time bowling. He was really good, of course, being so
athletic. I, however, was horrible. Suzy kept making fun of me for getting
each ball in the gutter. Somehow, the rest of my class was able to avoid the
gutter balls so my teacher refused to put up the barriers for only me.

Marcus, for my sake, started tanking his own game. The teachers couldn't
ignore the star bowler, so when he asked for guards, they instantly
requested for the staff to put them up.
It was the little things like that that he always did for me as kids. And such a
simple date like bowling may seem like nothing, but to me it was a reminder
of that night.

I know a gentleman doesn't kiss a girl on the first date. And a proper lady
doesn't kiss and tell. So, I'll leave my diary entry here...

-Until next time

Janie

October 21st, 1987

Dear Diary,

It only took a month. One month and Marcus and I confessed to each
other... we're in love!

A month might not seem long... but when you tie on 13 years of friendship,
really it seems like we waited 13 years to admit it.

Besides, saying I love you one month in is nothing when you know that this
is the person you're going to spend forever with. God forbid Marcus ever
finds this diary before forever starts... but I know. Deep down, maybe I
always knew. I think he does, too. He told me that he thought about me

every day

when he moved away. Said that even as kids, he knew there was something
special about me.

Maybe one day we'll even have kids of our own.

I'd love a boy and a girl. A boy who looks like his father and a little girl
taking after me. I'd want the boy to be older, but not by much. That way, he
can look after his little sister. Scare away those awful bullies and any mean
boys. I'd want my little girl to feel protected. Always. And, of course, find a
Marcus of her own. Someone to love her unconditionally and
unapologetically...
I might sound absolutely crazy for writing about a future family with a guy
I've only just started dating... but that's okay. I know Marcus will be an
amazing father when the day comes.

I hope I'll be a good mother, too.

-Until next time

Janie
Author's Note
Author's Note:

I'm sure we can all find a bit of ourselves in the new Prime Video series
based on the New York Times bestselling book The Summer I Turned
Pretty, written Jenny Han (who also wrote To All the Boys I've Loved
Before) ! It has a bit of romance to relate to everyone: love triangles,
childhood friends, and tanned summer boys. Which romance trope can you
fit into? Better yet, who can fit into all three

like Belly?

In a partnership with Wattpad & Prime Video, I have been asked to write a
spin-off chapter of Silently Falling! Who better to write this one-shot about
than Toby and Alyse? I don't want to take away from Raine & West's
romance story, as there's much more to their tale than simply romance,
however I think Toby and Alyse are a perfect match for this amazing
partnership! After all, y'all are always asking me to make some sort of spin-
off for the pair! So, here it is. My spin-off is the story of how Toby and
Alyse met as children, how their love story wasn't always written in the
stars, and how they came to be together. Thank you to The Summer I Turned
Pretty for the inspiration, and I encourage you all to go give it a read and
add the new Prime Video series to your summer watch-list!

Check out the synopsis of

The Summer I Turned Pretty below:

A new series based on the New York Times bestselling book. Every
summer, Belly and her family head to the Fishers' beach house in Cousins.
Every summer is the same ... until Belly turns sixteen. Relationships will be
tested, painful truths will be revealed, and Belly will be forever changed.
It's a summer of first love, first heartbreak and growing up — it's the
summer she turns pretty.

Watch the official trailer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfAueqEab30
My other books!
I really hope everyone enjoyed reading Silently Falling!!! I went to a lot of
trouble writing it, and it's amazing the viewer turnout it received, especially
since it was my first book.

Be sure to follow my Instagram and TikTok accounts where I post

publishing updates, behind-the-scenes looks into my writing, writing tips,
and bonus chapters for some of my books!

Below you will find my 4 other books currently on Wattpad:

Memory Lane

Laura Laurier was spontaneous. She was a passenger on the ride of life,
uncaring of the turns she took. She just followed wherever the road led her.
Until one fateful drive, where giving up control cost her nearly everything.

After refusing to drive on a trip home from dinner with her parents, Laura's
father stepped into the driver's seat and drove down a path that he and her
mother would never come back from. Now, forced by the pitfalls of life to
move in with her Aunt June, Uncle Tim, and cousin Allen in Bennington,
Vermont, Laura has taken the wheel and refuses to give it up ever again.

At her new school, Laura is determined to start over. In order to pretend like
her past never happened, no one can know why she needed to move to
Bennington.

Jesse Ashford was always in control. In the ride of life, he jumped in the
driver's seat to speed down his path, trying his best to outrun his past. Once
a close friend of Allen and his friend group, Jesse has since pulled away and
now sticks to himself.

Outrunning their pasts leads to them running into each other, and when
Laura and Jesse's roads cross, Laura tries to steer clear of him. However,
Jesse is drawn to the mystery that surrounds the new girl in town.
Now, Laura has to decide if she can remain in control while opening up to
Jesse, or if the only way to escape her past is to stay in her own lane.

*Ongoing. You can find Memory Lane on Wattpad under my profile!

Fight For Her

Her life seems perfect. His is tearing apart at the seams.

From the outside, being the heir to a million-dollar auto repair company, the
girlfriend to the school's quarterback, and admired by her peers, means
Scarlet Tucker's life seems perfect. But after the tragic death of her brother,
every day is a struggle to keep up appearances―especially with her
boyfriend, who cares more about his reputation than about Scarlet's
feelings.

When Scarlet accidentally slams into her school's resident bad-boy-slash-

outcast, Elijah Black, in the hallway, he shakes up more than her notebooks.
Scarlet's heard rumors about Elijah, but she's drawn to him because they
share the same sorrow―they've both lost a brother. As they grow closer,
Elijah lets Scarlet into his hidden life of underground fighting, where long-
buried secrets that impact both of their lives unravel. Before long, Elijah
and Scarlet are in too deep to turn back, and the only way they'll survive is
to stick together.

*Completed. You can find Fight For Her on Wattpad under my profile, as
well as in any bookstore near you! It is published in English, Italian, and
Russian.

Love, Anonymous

Reagan Holt was about as average as a high school student could be. She
didn't play any sports, didn't participate in the popular activities, and wasn't
the girl all the boys chased after.

All except one boy.

He wrote her a letter every week. Each letter described something new for
him to love about her. Whether it was how beautiful her laugh was or how
his heart swelled with every smile she gave, he never failed to write how he
felt.

So the two should be together, right?

That's the way Reagan wants it, but there's just one problem. He signs his
letters

"Love,

Anonymous."

Now add an obnoxious, conceited, sex god into the equation and you get a
teenage girl confused on who really loves her. The sweet, tender written
anonymous lover, or the cocky, ignorant asshole?

*Completed. You can find Love, Anonymous on Wattpad under my profile.

His Game

To be considered a player, you must have some sort of game. It must be

played by your own rules and on your own terms.

The most important part? You can't lose.

His game was easy to play.

Until she came along.

*Completed. You can find His Game on Wattpad under my profile.

PUBLISHING NEWS
You read that right....

Silently Falling

is going to be published by !!!

This is a French Translation deal, which means it has been translated into
French. The title was also altered, and it will be sold under the title: (Just A
Sign)

While this is a French Translation, that does not mean people around the
world can't buy it! It is available online for anyone and everyone to
purchase!

The official release date is January 9th, 2019, but it is already online
available for pre-order!!

All you have to do is go to your search engine and type in "Juste Un Signe
by Liz Plum" and then BAM! There will be websites listed where you can
purchase it :))) Thank you all SO SO SO MUCH for your support!

I hope you will purchase a copy, because the better it does in the foreign
market the better my odds are at getting an English publishing deal!

Even if you can't read French (I can't lol) it would mean the world to me for
you to purchase a copy! Plus, who wouldn't want to say they bought the
original version of 'Silently Falling'?

Thanks again y'all :)

Here are some links :)

AMAZON FRANCE: https://www.amazon.fr/Juste-signe-Liz-

Plum/dp/2016269715/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1545248685&sr=8-
1&keywords=juste+un+signe+liz+plum
https://www.initiales.org/livre/14581005-juste-un-signe-liz-plum-hachette-
romans https://livre.fnac.com/a12990571/Liz-Plum-Juste-un-signe
Dare To Dream
Writer Disclosure/ Author's Note:

Hi everyone! What better way to enjoy summer than to read a brand new
chapter of Silently Falling? I am

so

excited to announce that in partnership with Wattpad and

, a new chapter is here! Unleash your unique and fearless self with the

- designed for those who write their own stories.

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if one moment from
your past was different? Would you still have the same friends, want the
same things? After hearing some news about the verdict of Warren's trial,
Raine begins to ponder those same questions. What if she and West had
never met in high school? Imagining her future determined by a much
different past, join Raine as she explores a different version of meeting
West...

----

With only two weeks left of summer before my senior year of high school,
and only two days until West starts classes at community college, we have
been spending as much time together as we can. A sigh passes my lips and I
cuddle closer to West, breathing in his calming scent to try and rid the
growing anxiety in my chest. The movie on the living room TV continues
as the strong arm around me tightens comfortingly.

Neither of us were invested in the movie when we first turned it on. It was
more of a background distraction from the events of the day.
Warren's trial ended today. The jury came back with the verdict in record
time.

Guilty.

He won't hurt

anyone

ever again.

The news was relieving, but after the relief and excitement came anger.
Anger that my trial didn't end up the same. Anger that because I lost, all of
these other girls got hurt. But it all melted away when West pulled me into
his arms and held me. Then, the calmness took over and it hasn't left yet.

"Do you ever wonder about what would have happened if I hadn't lost my
trial?"

West pauses the movie. "What do you mean?"

I fiddle with the soft cotton of his shirt. "If I hadn't lost the trial...maybe I
wouldn't have lost my voice. Would you and I have met?"

"Of course we would have. I'd still have come to school and, regardless of
sign language or not, would have wanted to get to know you."

"What if you had a different outcome at your trial, too?"

He purses his lips, "You mean like if I had gotten a larger sentence and gone
to prison, instead?"

I feel my heart crack and I hold onto him a little tighter, afraid of any world
where I could lose him. "Could that have happened?"

West absentmindedly rubs circles on my back. "If I had been tried as an

adult, there's the chance I could have gotten a second or third degree felony
assault charge and ended up in prison for a few years."
"If something like that had happened... Maybe we wouldn't have found each
other."

West's hand on my back flattens slightly, pulling me closer as he brings his

other hand to gently caress my face. "Sunshine, I would find my way to you
in every lifetime."

A blush is already forming on my cheeks and I nuzzle into his chest. "It
would still be this lifetime, just different circumstances," I mutter with a
small grin.

A deep chuckle resonates from his chest, "Lifetime, universe,

circumstance... No matter the case, I'd be in love with you."

I meet his gaze and my whole body melts at the gentle look in his eye. I lift
my lips close to his, embracing him in a soft, loving kiss. Like every kiss
we share, his lips are warm and soft and feel like home. His hand on my
back slides up my body to gently hold the back of my head, tangling in my
hair and causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. He kisses me deeper,
pulling me closer, pouring his devotion into the movement of his lips on
mine.

When we part, he keeps his lips close to steal another small peck or two,
bumping his nose gently with mine. Then, a small smile.

"And when you kiss me like that, I know you'd love me in every lifetime
too."

That night, as I drift off to sleep, my conversation with West must be the
last thing that I think of. Because my entire night of sleep is plagued with a
dream of meeting West under

very

different circumstances...

--- DREAM ---

With high school well behind us, and our next four years carved out by life
at the University of Illinois Chicago, Alyse and I make sure that our
freshman year is nothing short of amazing.

High school was hard. After the trial ended and Warren was convicted,
things really started looking up for me, but the lengthy trial still took its toll.
PTSD from that night just kept eating me alive, taking away my voice and
requiring me to take ASL classes for the duration of the trial. Since Warren's
dad has major connections, he was able to have the trial dragged out for
nearly two years.

There was a time when I felt like it would never end and that I would

never

escape him. Then, one day before junior year, it all ended. The trial
concluded. The jury found Warren guilty, and I was set free.

The remaining two years I had were spent getting over the trial and trying
to move past the trauma I endured. Every day was a struggle and every
night I feared going to bed and what I might find in my dreams. But, Alyse,
Toby, Tyler, and Gray were with me every step of the way. Despite the
strength they tried to give me, I finally learned I had to rely on my own
strength to get through it.

Eventually, things got better.

College is my time to actually

enjoy

life. It's my time to let loose without reminders of

him.

I'm no longer struggling to speak...to

express
myself.

No, college is different. It has to be. He can't take this experience away
from me.

Alyse and I decided early on that we'd room together at UIC and it only
took us that first weekend to establish even more friends. Our resident
assistant, Claire, has become a close friend of ours.

Claire embodies everything I want college to be for me. She's in her third
year at UIC and it's her second year as an RA, and getting to learn about her
journey from high school to college has been inspiring. She went from
being bullied in middle school, to a cheerleader in high school, to finding
her true self in college. She realized that cheerleading was only a way to try
and stick it to the bullies, not really something she enjoyed. When she came
to college without social pressures, she found that she'd much rather trade
her bright purple cheerleading skirt for her long black dresses, or that she'd
rather collect albums to listen to on a Friday night rather than attend the
coolest party.

Alyse and I get to Claire's dorm room early Sunday afternoon. She's
standing by her closet, going through her assortment of black and gray
clothes, with a few random pink tops thrown in to keep things interesting.
That's why Claire is so amazing. She was the first person we met at UIC
that taught me it's okay to be

whoever

I want to be. College is my time to find myself and to avoid being defined
by my past.

When she gave that advice, I don't think she realized how much just that
one line meant to me.

"Hey Claire," Alyse and I greet as we step inside her room, immediately
met with her various posters and her dark, decorative tapestry adding to the
ambiance of her room.
"Perfect timing," she says. "Let me just get my shoes on."

Her short black hair bounces on her shoulders as she plops down on her
bed, grabbing her shoes from underneath. I admire them as she slips into
them.

"I love those shoes," I compliment. "They look like Crocs, but I'm not sure
I've seen that style before?"

She shows them off with a smile, "They're Crocs Stomp Loafers. They are
my favorite

pair of shoes that I own."

I continue to admire them and the sleek black color matching perfectly with
her dress. I glance at my own shoes; some old red sneakers that I've
probably had since junior year. It may be time for a shoe refresh, and I've
got my heart set on a pair of the Stomp Loafers that Claire is wearing.

"So, where are we going?"

Her dark eye makeup adds to her mischievous grin. "Let's keep it a
surprise."

The gray sky looms above us as we walk past campus and through the city.
We pass through the part of the city that holds some of the largest
skyscrapers and make our way through various neighborhoods, places I'm
not sure I would walk by myself. Claire, however, has no issue holding her
head high and walking with confidence. Fifteen minutes later, we arrive at
Fix It Diner.

We eye the building with the dark, stormy sky as the backdrop. It
accentuates the bright neon red of the sign, almost looking like a sign to
walk away instead of welcoming us in.

"You two will love it, trust me," Claire waves off our obvious hesitation and
we follow her inside.
We sit at a booth on the far right side of the diner and I take in the
atmosphere around me. For a place that isn't actually a University staple, it
sure does feel like one with the UIC banners and photos on the walls. I'm
shocked that more people don't know about it.

After a few minutes, our waiter comes up to the table with our water. My
whole body jumps from his looks; he is

massive

. He is at least 6'4" with tattoos covering every inch of his exposed arms and
muscles so big I think he could crush me just between his thumb and
forefinger.

"Welcome to Fix It Diner, have you been here before?" He asks as he walks
up, his deep voice catching our attention. Then, his eyes land on Claire and
his scowl flips up slightly. "Oh, hey Claire."

"Hey Liam, these are a couple of my residents. Alyse and Raine."

His dark-set eyes move slowly over me and Alyse with a nod of greeting.
"Welcome in." Then his eyes slide back to Claire. "Have you given them the

Fix It

speech?"

She chuckles, "I haven't. Was hoping you could do the honors."

"Fix It Diner is a second-chance employer," he explains, voice low and

slow, almost sarcastic, too. "It was created by the owner in order to-"

"Liam!"

Another voice stops Liam from the beginning of his welcome speech. While
Alyse is still fixated on Liam's arms, my attention is instantly pulled to the
source of the deep voice coming across the restaurant. With an arm sleeve
to match Liam's comes a tall and handsome brown-haired waiter. The
second thing I notice, rivaled only by his dark brown eyes, is his smile.
More of a smirk, really, dusting across his lips.

"Ah, right. Forgot I have an apprentice," Liam mutters with a look to Claire.
"New guy got here last week."

"What was he in for?" Claire hums.

"You'll have to ask him."

The newcomer reaches our table and, with a smirk, his gaze finds mine and
something inside of me seems to light on fire. I shyly look away and down
to his tattoos, admiring the various designs on his skin. I spot one on the
inside of his forearm that makes me smile; it's a pair of crocs. Must be the
universe telling me to order those Stomp Loafers as soon as I get back to
my dorm room.

"This is West," Liam introduces. "He'll be shadowing me today."

"Must be my lucky day," West says, his eyes on me. My heart jumps at his
deep, rugged voice.

Claire and Alyse must notice that his attention is stuck to me, because they
look between each other with poorly concealed grins. Alyse gently grabs
my arm to steal my attention.

"That guy is totally checking you out!"

She signs.

"You better hope they don't know ASL."

I quickly sign, dropping my hands into my lap when I feel both Liam and
West's curious gazes on us.

Liam nudges West, nodding to the table.

"Oh, right. Anything you would like to drink?"

It takes me a moment to find my words, but I quickly snap out of it and
glance back at the menu. "I'd love a coffee."

When I get no response, I find West silently studying me and my face

begins to heat up.

"Sorry," his lips lift in one corner, "Just wasn't expecting that after the
whole sign language thing."

"You didn't think I could talk? Or...hear?"

He shamelessly gives a small shake of his head.

"So, how did you think you'd take my order?"

His smirk widens slightly, "You got me there. So, why the ASL? Unless you
were saying something you didn't want Liam and I to know."

I shrug it off, trying to keep away any sort of sly smile that would
automatically admit guilt.

"You know, I'll just have to assume you were talking about me."

"Let your imagination run wild," I respond, meeting his gaze. But that may
have been a bad idea, because I think my heart just leaped out of my chest.
Is this what people mean when they say someone has taken their breath
away?

Alyse looks between the two of us with a poorly concealed smirk, clearing
her throat after a moment. "I would love a coffee as well."

Claire matches her energy, "Same. Some creamer, too."

West writes it all down, sending the two of them a glance of

acknowledgement before he and Liam walk off to get our coffees.

"So, how often do you come here?" I ask Claire.

"I found this place my freshman year. That's when I met Liam. He and I hit
it off and we tried to date for a bit, but things didn't work out. We remained
really good friends, so I kept coming back. I do my best to make it here
every Sunday."

"Are we going to ignore the elephant in the room?" Alyse asks.

We look at her, both raising a brow in question.

"That waiter was

totally

checking Raine out! And he was

hot

too. Did you see those tattoos? Or those

muscles?

Or that jawline?"

My blush deepens and I bury my face into the menu, pretending to be

particularly interested in the omelets. "He was okay."

My heart does some odd flip as Alyse continues, and for the first time since
Warren, I feel myself actually hoping that she's right. Since Warren, I
haven't had any sort of interest in a guy. I've been afraid to date, but right
now... I'm suddenly open to the idea.

West comes back to the table to take our orders with Liam right behind him.
Alyse and Claire both order, with Claire ordering her usual with Liam there
to capture it, and Alyse gets the plate of strawberry pancakes.

"Can I get the full breakfast meal?" I ask.

"And how'd you like your eggs?"

"Sunny side up?"

"Sunny side up eggs for Sunshine. Perfect."

Caught off guard, I blink at him. "Sunshine?"

He smirks, tapping his pen on his notepad before turning and heading back
to the kitchen. But, after a few steps, he stops and those dark brown eyes
find mine.

"It suits you."

After we finish eating and both Liam and West bring the check, Liam pulls
up a chair and sits backwards on it, with his arms crossed and resting on the
backrest. "Alright. Next weekend, Friday night; bonfire at my place. Are
you all in?"

With West's eyes on me, the hope swimming in them is all I need to say yes.

---

My Crocs Stomp Loafers arrive Friday morning, allowing me to ditch my

old sneakers and slip into a new style for the bonfire tonight. I've even
started wearing my hair differently, allowing myself to test out new fashions
and finally explore life outside of the dark cloud that Warren left above me.

Rocking my new pair of Crocs, matching Claire and even Alyse who
ordered her own pair, we roll up to the bonfire at Liam's townhouse just
outside of campus. His house is not the most welcoming, nor is it really in a
welcoming part of town. The neighboring houses all have unkept yards,
with some of the properties looking abandoned with boarded up windows
and rusted metal fences. I try my best to wipe away any judgment as we
approach Liam's house - the only one with a managed yard. Even still, his
house has a sagging porch and siding that looks like it's about five years
past when it needed to be replaced.

All of my negative thoughts go away when we enter the backyard and I spot
West by the fire. Since I met him last week, I can't seem to shake him from
my mind. I've kept my eye out for him all week, wanting to spot him on
campus, but I haven't had any luck.

I walk over to him, feeling comfortable and confident enough to do so

alone. I bet it's the Crocs. When he spots me, my heart jumps out of my
chest to see the excitement dancing in his gaze.

"Sunshine," he greets, a handsome little smirk on the corner of his lips. "I
was really hoping you'd make it. A part of me thought you might get too
scared or something."

"Scared?" I echo. "Of who? You?"

He shrugs, "I hope not. Oh, there's something I wanted to show you." He
sets his Solo cup down, shaking out his hands. Next thing I know, with slow
movements, he's using ASL.

"It's nice to meet you. My name is W-E-S-T."

His signing is very slow and he even has to redo his greeting a time or two
before he gets it right. But regardless of his inexperience, if he sought out to
impress me, he absolutely succeeded.

"You learned sign language?"

"Just that greeting," he admits. "It's amazing what you can learn on
YouTube."

I roll my bottom lip between my teeth to keep myself from grinning like an
idiot. "Here, you don't need to spell out your name like that. Let me show
you the sign for west..."

After a few moments, he does his greeting again with the proper sign and an
adorably proud smile to match.

"Thanks for the lesson, Sunshine."

Thank god it's nighttime so that he can't see my massive blush. "You know,
I haven't seen you around campus. Do you go to UIC?" I ask.
The question clearly catches him off guard. "Uh- no, I don't. I live in the
area, though. With my mom and little brother."

"Around

here?"

"We live a few streets over."

I wipe away all judgment and rid it from my mind, cringing at myself for
being judgmental in the first place, and instead smile at him. "What's your
brother's name?"

For the next hour, West and I stand by the fire and get to know one another.
I learn all about his mom and brother, but he mostly asks me about myself. I
tell him all about my music, my major, and we continue to have a mini ASL
lesson on the words he requests. It feels natural with him. Eventually, Liam,
Claire, and Alyse join us.

"You know, I really don't understand why more people don't go to the diner.
That place was great when we went last week," Alyse says, taking a sip
from her cup.

Liam quirks a brow, "You...don't know why people avoid it?"

Alyse and I shrug. Then, the three of them share a look before West settles
his attention on me.

"Sunshine... Didn't Liam tell you about the diner?"

Liam sheepishly clears his throat. "I, uh... I guess I forgot to finish that
welcome speech, huh?"

Alyse and I glance warily at one another. "You did..."

West, on the other hand, is glaring at Liam, jaw set tight and lips pulled into
a thin line. I try to catch his eye, but suddenly he won't look at me. My
stomach drops as I glance over at Claire because for someone so confident,
she suddenly looks guilty.
"What's going on?" I ask.

"Fix It Diner is centered around giving people a second chance," Liam says
carefully, pausing after that. "Everyone that works there, well..."

"We're all formerly incarcerated," West finally says, breaking the silence.
"The servers, the hostesses, and all of the line cooks... We're all working on
our second chance at life."

I don't know how long it takes me to process his words. But I know that I
stand there in silence, staring at him and waiting for him to laugh and admit
he's joking. But West stays silent and with every second that passes, my
hope for this to be a joke dissipates.

Suddenly, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest, though I know it's nothing

physical. It's the feeling of betrayal. Maybe fear? I don't know if it's fair of
me, but before I can think any better of it, I'm turning and storming off in
the direction of the road.

"Sunshine!" West calls out and I hear his footsteps behind me, but then
Claire tells him to stop. A lighter set of footsteps begin to come after me
and catch me before I reach the fence of the backyard.

"Raine!" Claire reaches out to gently grab my arm. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know!" I exclaim, "Just...away from here."

Alyse frowns once she catches up to us, clearly unsure herself of what to do
or say. But Claire just calmly looks at me.

"Why do you want to leave?"

"Did you not hear them?" I ask, "They've all been to

jail."

Claire nods, "I know that. I genuinely thought you did, too. I didn't realize
Liam had skipped the story of the diner."
I guffaw, running my hand through my hair as I pace back and forth. Here I
am, a victim of a horrendous crime, hanging out with

criminals.

I shouldn't be here. I should be running away. But just as my feet make the
move, I spot West back by the fire and I stop.

His lips that normally carry his carefree smirk are instead pulled into a tight
frown. His whole demeanor has changed into one of defeat as he runs his
hands through his hair, yanking at it through fists. Suddenly, my heart gets
stuck in my throat. I'm used to seeing him look larger than life with that
handsome smirk and smooth responses. Why does it hurt to see him look
this way?

"Why do you want to leave?" Claire asks me again.

"I-" I start, but nothing else comes out. I stare hopelessly at Claire, latching
on to her calm and confident demeanor.

"I really am sorry that you didn't know before coming here tonight. I've
known since the first time I met Liam and I'll admit that I reacted similar to
you. I stormed out of the diner."

"And then what?" I ask quietly.

"And then I thought...who cares? I really liked him and I didn't want to let
my prejudice of his past get in the way of that. Going back inside the diner
and hearing him out was the best thing I've ever done. Liam is my closest
friend."

I shift my gaze back to West, suddenly ashamed of my reaction and how

I've made him feel.

"I don't know much about relationships or love, but I do know that the way
you're looking at him right now tells me that you don't really want to leave.
I understand being scared, honestly I do. This was a lot to learn at a random
bonfire... But you and West seem to have something between you two. He
clearly likes you, and I think you like him, too. Does this really change
that?"

Alyse glances at me, her understanding of my hesitation going a bit deeper.

She steps closer, putting an arm around my shoulders to comfort me. Claire
must notice that there's more to be said, because she sighs and comes closer,
giving me a small hug.

"I'll be over by the fire. If you want to leave, just call me over and I'll take
you back to the dorm, okay?" She waits for me to nod before she walks
away,

Alyse frowns deeply. "I can understand this must be hard. I'm sorry, Raine."

"I just...Shouldn't I be scared right now?"

"Are you?"

I snap my eyes to look at her, because the answer even surprises me. "No."

"I understand that you think you need to be scared or run away. You have
every right to feel that way, especially given your past. But, Claire is right.
There's something between you and West, and I haven't seen you give any
guy any sort of attention since what happened. If you ask me, West might
be worth it. He's certainly hot enough."

I give a weak smile at her attempt to lighten the mood, but I stay quiet as
my eyes gravitate again towards West.

"Do you think you could at least talk to him?" Alyse presses gently.

She's right. I've never felt so comfortable around another guy as I do West,
not before Warren and especially not after him. But...nothing in my heart is
scaring me away from West. I owe it to him and myself to learn more about
what could have possibly landed him in this situation.

So, with a quick hug and thank you to Alyse, I walk to West and pull him
over to the side of the fire. He instantly follows, brown eyes searching
mine. But I stay quiet, suddenly unsure of what to say. After another few
moments of processing this information, I clear my throat. "So...

you

were in jail?"

West swallows, his lips pulled into a tight line. His whole demeanor has
changed into one of defeat, and my heart drops again to the pit of my
stomach. Did I make him feel this way?

"Prison, actually. For nearly three years." He goes quiet again, jaw grinding
before he lets out a sigh and closes his eyes for a moment. "3rd Degree
Felony Assault, that was my charge."

I stare at West, my mind trying

to see him in a different light after learning all of this. But, despite the
sudden realization that the man in front of me went to prison for an assault
charge, my heart doesn't seem to be closing up. Nor do I feel the need to
back away. No, my heart is actually cracking at the defeated look in his eye
or the way he's avoiding looking at me, as if afraid to see my reaction. Now
I truly regret my reaction before. I of all people should know you can't
judge someone entirely based on their past.

"Were you..." I begin to ask, having to clear my throat as my words seem to

have gotten lost, "Were you wrongly convicted?"

He finally meets my gaze, a sad smile in his. "Maybe partly, but I did what I
was convicted of."

I'm quiet again. Here's a guy that I was comfortable around. The first guy
since

him
that I've felt hopeful about. And now I find out he's a convicted felon. My
mind wants me to be afraid. Or even angry. But my heart is pulling me
closer to him.

"Do you regret it?" I ask.

"No." His answer comes instantly.

If he doesn't regret what he did, that means he finds it justifiable. But

assault? And something aggressive enough to send him to prison for three
years... how can

anyone

justify hurting another? The only way I can see it is if he was defending
someone he loves.

"I will never regret defending the two people that I love."

My attention snaps from my thoughts to West and the determined look on

his face as he stares at me. I know instantly that he's talking about Casper
and his mom.

"West, you don't have to defend your reasons to me."

"I just- I like you, Raine. There's something about you that makes me
hopeful, and I haven't felt that way in a

long

time. I saw you last week and...it was like a light turning on inside me. The
more I talk to you, the more those dark parts of my heart seem to find that
light, too. I think a part of me knew that you didn't really know the type of
people that work at the diner, and it was selfish of me to want to keep living
in that lie. I just didn't want to scare you away or have you think I'm this
angry, aggressive guy running around hurting people. Because I'm not."

And it clicks. I never thought that. I still don't. I was just afraid of the
information being thrown at me so suddenly. So, I shake my head.
"I know you aren't."

His whole body relaxes in relief, but his hands are still tense as he watches
me and gauges the rest of my reaction to this news.

I drop my own eyes in shame. "I'm sorry I stormed away."

"You have no reason to apologize for that, Sunshine," he says seriously. "I
should be thanking you for letting me explain."

"Do you think it's fair? The whole system?"

West is clearly shocked at the question and ponders a moment. "I like to
think that the system works when it needs to. I don't know if it truly worked
with me, but that's why I'm happy to have found this place. I have a second
chance. Do you?"

"It...it worked when

needed it to."

West frowns, tilting his head as he waits for me to expand.

I'm careful with my wording, knowing that despite my feelings towards

West, I'm nowhere near ready to share my story. "Something happened
where I needed to press charges. I won the trial."

I wait with bated breath for West to potentially storm away from me the
same way I stormed away from him. Instead, he fixes his gaze on me.

"Did he deserve it?"

I nod.

"Then I hope he got the maximum sentence."

We both stand in silence for a bit, just looking at one another. I find myself
imagining what could have put him in a situation where he had to defend
his family. And from who? My whole body aches at the thought of anyone
hurting him or his family. I'm sure he's standing there wondering who hurt
me to the point of needing a whole trial and what they did.

West breaks the silence first. "I...if you want to know what happened-"

"We have time."

I said it was time I took control of my life. That college would give me the
freedom to make my own choices, bold as they may be. And West seems
like the boldest, brightest, and best decision of all.

He returns the smile. "We have time."

In every lifetime, every universe, every scenario, I'd find my way to you.

The End

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this peak at an alternate reality and
that this story inspires you to make bold choices in your own life!

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