The Big Picture A Guide to Finding Your Purpose in Life
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What the Readers Say
“The Big Picture offers excellent and comforting postcollege advice that helps grad-
uates avoid feelings of tension, anxiety, uncertainty, and worry. It does something
rare: it helps the reader realize what he or she really wants in his or her life, not
what society or parents want. But most importantly, this book shows young adults
in a calm and collected manner how to discover the many paths they can take.”
—Natalie Shribman, Bates College
“This book was a wake-up call to find my purpose in life. I thought I had it all fig-
ured out, but The Big Picture helped me examine my current goals and aspirations,
offering a new, meaning-focused perspective.”
—Joseph Mazarella, Duquesne University
“The Big Picture helped me so much more than I could have ever imagined. As
I began reading, I realized that even though my real adult life hadn’t started, I’d
noticed that the movie of my life had started, and I was in it now. The camera is roll-
ing, and I’m ready for it—wherever it takes me. This book is helping me direct it.”
—Nico Galván, The New School
“I honestly could have never gotten to where I am today without having worked
through this book. It really made me think of my goals, dreams, values, and pur-
pose. It made me think of how I want to live for the rest of my life, not only focus-
ing on the short term but the long. Any kids who don’t know what they want to do
with their lives should read this book.”
—Robert Hillard, University of Pittsburgh
“I was not expecting that The Big Picture would teach me anything about myself,
but it actually illustrated a lot about my priorities and showed me just how much
legacy matters to me. I recently changed from premed to prelaw. I was confident in
my decision at the time, but still had a few doubts that prelaw was the right move.
This book helped cement my feeling that I made the right move.”
—Hugh Hamilton, University of Pennsylvania
“The Big Picture is a relatable book that meets us where we are right now. It helped
me reflect on my skills and values in a meaningful way—and then guided me
toward action for a purposeful life as a college student and beyond. The exercises
will help you get down to the heart of the matter and then, through personal explo-
ration, begin to branch out to the larger purpose and goals.”
—Ally Tufenkjian, New York University
“This book has made me more motivated to do something with my life starting
right now. I’ve considered more careers than I had originally, too, because I want to
do something that makes me feel good about my impact on the world. Plus, read-
ing this book helped me limit my stress a bit. Whew!”
—Nikki Burnett, University of Pittsburgh
The Big Picture
a g u i d e to f i n d i n g yo u r p u r p o s e i n l i f e
CHRISTINE B. WHEL AN, PhD
Templeton Press
Templeton Press
300 Conshohocken State Road, Suite 500
West Conshohocken, PA 19428
www.templetonpress.org
© 2016 by Christine B. Whelan
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
without the written permission of Templeton Press.
Designed and typeset by Gopa & Ted2, Inc.
Author photo credit: Nicole Krueger, Vintage Pear Photography
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
Printed in the United States of America
16 17 18 19 20 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For Daniel Whelan Moyers
Contents
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xv
Chapter 1: Preproduction: The Time Is Now 3
Chapter 2: The Experiment That Could Change Your Life 17
Part One: Character Development
Chapter 3: Carpe Diem 27
Chapter 4: Identify Your Talents, Strengths, and Skills 43
Chapter 5: Lose the Shoulds, Find the Values 65
Part Two: Vision, Purpose, . . . and . . . Action!
Chapter 6: Passions in Action 87
Chapter 7: A Vision for Change 101
Chapter 8: Building Your Purpose 115
Chapter 9: Committed to Purpose 131
Part Three: Bringing Purpose to Life
Chapter 10: Plot Twists 151
Chapter 11: Your Supporting Cast 185
Chapter 12: Postproduction 203
Appendix A: Survey Responses 215
Appendix B: Blank Movie Reels 221
References and Recommended Reading 229
About the Author 233
St
ar
1. T
g ce 2. List ale
: en 3. Gett enin nts
li ls atin llig
Sk ic te h M : Ally's Big Picture
y i ing g
eful mun al in oug
n r nt th
h uit in
Us Com otio g t
n ion gs
do
1. Em owi
l ne
2. Fol
3.
Core Values:
1. Love
2. Communication
3. Selflessness
3.
Re2.
De flec 1. My Purpose in Each Role I Play:
Family: Call my family members
Pe In ter tive
: rs sig mi
n
at least once every two weeks.
Do on ht ne
Le ar h
to al ful d
3. ac e
Education: Research potential
St
re
s
Te ten Lov
2. i I
L ng
1. hat th
s: topics for my new theater piece.
Work: I will develop a more solid
W
monthly budget.
My Vision in Life Is to: Physical: I will create a healthier
Use nonprofit, social diet.
justice-related theater Financial: I will make
work to educate, reach As the star and producer of the movie of his/her life, a monthly budget.
out to the community, and Ally is a person who Spiritual: I will do a mental
inspire social change. is a loving daughter, sister, and friend who inspires check-in once a week.
and betters the community with creative and artistic Relationships: I will be less
integrity. judgmental.
Free time: I will go to more
theater.
Theme song: “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk Tagline for the movie: “I get up every morning determined to both
change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this
makes planning my day difficult.” —E. B. White
Preface
This book is about you, not me. But since I’m going to be your guide on a rather
personal journey, I thought I should introduce myself in a preface.
Hi. I’m Dr. Christine B. Whelan. This is no ordinary self-help book, because
I’m no ordinary self-help book writer. I’m an applied sociologist in the School of
Human Ecology at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. I wrote my doctoral dis-
sertation on the self-help industry. I’ve studied who buys self-help books, what
advice is popular, and why. I’ve crafted rigorous content analyses of bestselling
titles to uncover the formula of their success. I catalogued the advice of hundreds
of guides to find the ones that had real research behind them (and the ones that
were mostly made-up garbage). I’ve explored the assumptions, sociology, and psy-
chology of personal improvement. And along the way, I’ve combed through the
advice to find the nuggets of enduring wisdom in these popular paperbacks.
At the University of Wisconsin, I teach classes on purpose, meaning, and happi-
ness. I cocreated a first-year introductory class called EcoYou: Belonging, Purpose,
and the Ecology of Human Happiness, which addresses big questions like: Who
am I? What is my passion and purpose? Where do I belong? How am I connected
to others and to larger systems? What brings happiness and works for the greater
good in human lives? I teach an upper-level class called Consuming Happiness,
about all the ways we use the market economy—successfully and unsuccessfully—
to increase our well-being.
I’m also a curator at the Life Reimagined Institute, a team of thought lead-
ers devoted to helping people navigate life’s transitions with purpose. Together
with the best content experts from around the world, we create online and offline
x / pr e f a c e
experiences to help real people turn their coulda, woulda, shoulda moments into
can, will, and do successes.
Real People, Real Advice
In case you were wondering, all the stories in this book are real. The
people exist. They aren’t composite characters. While most folks are
identified by their first name only to protect privacy, others have asked
to be identified by their full, real name. The student examples quoted
throughout the book are all real, too, and used with their permission.
Not only have I worked with, researched, and helped create content to help peo-
ple thrive at all stages of life, I’m a big believer in practicing what I preach. I’ve
personally completed—and benefited from—every exercise and tidbit of advice I
present. The advice in this book comes from three sources: bestselling purpose-
focused self-help books, academic research about purpose and meaning formation,
and young-adult purpose-seekers just like you.
Indeed, that’s how this book came about.
■ ■This B ook Works—and Your Peers Proved It
In 2011 I published Generation WTF: From What the *^%$ to a Wise, Tenacious, and
Fearless You. It was a remix of the best of classic self-help concepts, specifically tai-
lored to college students. I was teaching at the University of Pittsburgh at the time
and had worked with hundreds of students to create and test the book. When the
book was officially published, I asked a fresh batch of students to review it for me.
The first section of the book focused on the importance of getting wise—or as
Aristotle would say, “knowing thyself.” I presented a brief exercise on finding your
pr e fa c e / xi
purpose, asking those “why” questions and finding out what’s important to you.
Students told me that was the most transformative exercise in the book. “Where
can we get more of these kind of exercises?” they asked.
I began to look for purpose-focused guidebooks specifically geared toward young
adults. With the exception of Jon Gordon’s The Seed; Dan Webster and Randy Grav-
itt’s Finding Your Way, excellent parable-style short stories of a college student wres-
tling with big questions of meaning and purpose; and a few career-guidance books
that briefly mentioned the importance of finding meaningful work, I came away
empty-handed.
Instead, I found dozens of purpose-focused books for people in midlife. If you
were having a midlife crisis or wondering what to do with the second half of your
life, you could choose from a veritable library of excellent resources. So back in the
summer of 2012, I set about reading dozens of these books about purpose, written
for folks in their forties, fifties, and sixties. I searched for exercises that might be
right or adaptable for emerging adults, questions that would be better addressed
sooner rather than later in life.
Picture me in a coffee shop pondering my strengths, values, and vision. I wrote
epitaphs for my tombstone. I identified my anxieties and fears. I made commit-
ments. I reached out to mentors. I wrote my purpose statement. I’d stare off into
space as I reflected—and yes, plenty of folks gave me odd looks.
To create the first draft of this book, I pulled from several dozen of the exercises
that resonated most with me. I also took a deep dive into the academic literature
on purpose and meaning formation, especially during the emerging-adult years.
From the groundbreaking purpose research of Stanford professor Bill Damon to
the academically validated scales of Carol Ryff and Michael Steger, I immersed
myself in this rich world. Finally, I did interviews with real people who were living
their purposes.
After my extensive reading, research, and interviews, the real fun began. In 2013
and 2014, I tested these exercises on more than three hundred students. I first gave
the book to students at the University of Pittsburgh. After revising the book based
on their feedback and adapting exercises for a young-adult audience, I circulated
