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GROW TALLER BONUS REPORT 14

INTRODUCTION TO NLP
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) was created by John Grinder, a linguist, and Richard Bandler, whose
background was in mathematics and gestalt therapy. Their combined work led to the development of a
system for modeling human excellence. They called their system and techniques "Neuro-Linguistic
Programming" (NLP).

The name Neuro-Linguistic Programming is meant to symbolize the relationship between the brain, language
and the body. Since it is the study of human excellence and subjective experience, it is important to
remember that NLP is a model - a set of tools with its usefulness meant to be the measure of its worth.

NLP presents specific procedures which can be applied effectively in any human interaction. It offers valuable
skills which can be used to organize our experience or the experiences of another.

In the NLP model the basic process of change involves: a) finding out what the present state of the person is
... b) adding the appropriate resources that will produce ... c) the desired state (goal or outcome)

The techniques and patterns of NLP are available to identify and define present states and desired states and
then to generate access to the appropriate resources to accomplish the most effective change.

NLP is founded on two fundamental principles:

1. The Map is Not the Territory

There is a difference between the world and our experience of it. We experience the world primarily through
our senses.

No two human beings have exactly the same experiences. The model that we create to guide us in the world
is based in part upon our experiences. Each of us may, then, create a different model of the world we chare
and thus come to live in a somewhat different reality.

2. Life and Mind are Systemic Process

Emotions, physiological responses, perceptual input, internal processing, and behavioral output occur
simultaneously and through time. Each influences responses in all others. Our experience therefore is a
complex system and sets of sub systems all of which interact and influence each other. None is separate or
without impact. Thus if you construct a future internal representation of a communication going well or badly
it will impact your behavior, perceptual input, emotions, etc. in ways that congruently respond to that thought.
When you are a part of someone's experience you enter their system and impact their experience at that
moment and through time by way of stored internal representations. Mind and body affect each other.

CHARACTERISTICS OF EXCELLENCE
An effective communicator accepts the responsibility of getting the response he or she wants. The
components of this are:

A Specific Outcome

To know exactly what you want to communicate or achieve

Sensory Acuity

To recognize the patterns of communication and thinking in yourself and those around you.
Sensory acuity is recognizing the difference between subjective evaluations and objective information
- a requisite skill for rapport.

Flexibility of Behavior

Knowing how to do something differently if what you are doing (saying) is not working.
Having choice in the patterns of your communication styles to adjust your behavior and expression

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with respect to the listener's unconscious patterns.

Congruence

All of your sub-personalities, all of your parts, need to be in agreement with what you want.

REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS
People communicate their experience through five senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. In NLP these
channels of communication are referred to as representational systems.

The five representational systems are:

Visual (sight)
Auditory (hearing)
Kinesthetic (feeling, touch)
Olfactory (smell)
Gustatory (taste)

Olfactory and gustatory channels are usually grouped under kinesthetic representational system in NLP.

People see images about their experiences (visual) or ... They talk or hear about their experiences (auditory)
or ... They have feelings about their experiences (kinesthetic)

The way in which people subjectively represent their experience (or model of the world) will be the way in
which they communicate about those experiences. Each person has a primary, or favored, representational
system. Then, they have a secondary channel and the third is typically out of their awareness. Generally,
people will utilize their primary and secondary representational system (or channel).

PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS
Three Basic Points of View in Communication

First Position

Self, Participant, Associated

You are viewing the scene from the perspective of your own eyes. You are in your own body, feeling your
own feelings.

Second Position

Other, Associated

You are viewing the scene as though you are the other person, through the other person's eyes. From this
perspective you can "see" your own face and actions from the other's perspective.

Third Position

Observer, Dissociated

You are viewing the scene as though you are an observer. You can see yourself, what you look like, your
actions as well as who you are interacting with, the set and setting, etc.

RAPPORT
Rapport is defined as the ability to make a person(s) feel that they are understood by you, so that they can
trust and comprehensively communicate with you. Rapport is a process not a state. Rapport is being neither
sympathetic or being liked, but rather symmetrically responding to another's model of the world.

The ability to establish and maintain rapport is essential to the gathering of behavioral information necessary
to model an expert as well as to powerfully and usefully influence another person's experience and behavior.

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Using rapport building skills is the most gentle way of entering another person's system or model of the
world. We do this by a technique called pacing. Pacing means to mirror or to become like the other person in
regards to mood, body language, speech, breathing, beliefs and opinions.

RAPPORT AND PACING OF EXPERIENCE

Each person is an individual. No two people understand the same sentence the same way. It is important to
discover what a person's concept of himself or herself happens to be vs. trying to fit them into your concept
of what he/she should be.

Pacing is the most gracious way of entering another person's model of the world. Pacing allows you to
establish rapport. Once rapport is established by pacing, you may attempt to lead.

Leading is taking someone's model into new territories. It also means the competency to elicit desired
behavioral states in others.

Rapport is a critical NLP skill upon which all other techniques and concepts are built.

TYPES OF RAPPORT

Cultural Rapport

Part of everyone's world model is a cultural milieu, including those social and personal beliefs that are a
function of your national, racial, religious, sub-cultural history and present environment. Matching and
respecting another's beliefs will engage still another element of rapport.

Content Rapport

Content Rapport has to do with addressing what is idiosyncratic in someone's life. Content of a
communication will be based on, and indicative of, certain beliefs within that person's model of the world.
Accepting another's belief regarding a situation and then demonstrating that acceptance in the content of your
own communication, you will have rapport through the content.

Behavioral Rapport

When behaviors become so closely identified with another that you are for him/her an unconscious and
accurate source of feedback, concerning what he/she is doing, you are behaviorally in rapport.

Behavioral rapport is when you offer back to another person his/her own behavior, primarily non-verbally. In
NLP we say - People like people who are like themselves.

Behavioral Rapport Skills

Matching/mirroring body posture

Hand gestures
Predicates
Voice (tone, tempo)
Breathing

SENSORY ACUITY
Sensory acuity is placing your attention on your physical sense experience and noticing things that you had
not previously noticed. Sensory acuity is recognizing the difference between subjective evaluations and
objective information - a requisite skill for rapport. Pattern recognition is fundamental in sensory acuity skills.

With the development of sensory acuity skills you can identify and recognize micro-behavioral shifts in
yourself and others and through this knowledge gain additional choices in any interaction. In other words you
will better know what is happening.

Sensory based (observation) is descriptive of the physical sense experience:

Arms folded
Legs crossed
Skin flushed

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Rapid voice tempo

Foot tapping

Non-sensory based is interpretive, mind reading and may or may not be accurate:

Embarrassed
Stupid
Angry
Happy

CALIBRATION
Calibration is an important key in successful communication. Calibration is the recognition of a certain internal
states in a person by non-verbal signals. When you are astute in your observation (calibration) you begin to
know more accurately what is going on in another's experience. Calibration is a means of checking the
process of rapport.

The Elements of Calibration

Voice

predicates
tempo
timbre
tone
volume

Breathing

location
pauses
rate
volume

Eyes

accessing cues
pupil dilation

Skin Color/Reflection

flushing
blushing
paling

Physiology

muscle tone
lower lip size
position
posture

Visual Calibration

Visual Calibration is the skill of noticing the subtle non-verbal expressions your listener unconsciously
presents to you, such as:

Breathing: location, pauses, rate

Skin color: flushing, blushing, paling
Physiology, muscle tone, lower lips size, position, posture

Auditory Calibration

Most people do not listen to the sound of their own voices. It is hard to vary the tone, tempo, and volume if
you are not aware of it. Like a musical instrument you are capable of changing tone, tempo, volume. You can
gain control of these nuances of sound in your speech through awareness and practice.

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Kinesthetic Calibration

Kinesthetic means both tacitly what you can perceive on the surface of your skin and the visceral feelings
that have more to do with the emotional states - curiosity, fear, love, anxiety, excitement. Kinesthetic
calibration entails matching or mirroring any physical manifestations of non-verbal communication.
Sometimes it is as simple as moving your hands in the same direction as that of the person you are with. It
could also be tapping on the table at the same rhythm or breathing at the same rate as the respiration of
whomever you are communicating with.

© 2002 - 2005, Dr. Laura De Giorgio, www.deeptrancenow.com

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