Matrix Model Relapse Prevention Group Handouts
Matrix Model Relapse Prevention Group Handouts
B
Relapse Prevention
Group Handouts
I N T E N S I V E O U T PAT I E N T
A L C O H O L & D R U G T R E AT M E N T
HAZELDEN
®
Hazelden
Center City, Minnesota 55012-0176
1-800-328-9000
1-651-213-4590 (Fax)
[Link]
DATE
COMPLETED
Session 1
____________ Handout 1: Alcohol: The Legal Drug . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Session 2
____________ Handout 2: Boredom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Session 3
____________ Handout 3A: Avoiding Relapse Drift ....................................... 7
____________ Handout 3B: Mooring Lines Recovery Chart ............................... 9
Session 4
____________ Handout 4: Work and Recovery ............................................ 11
Session 5
____________ Handout 5: Guilt and Shame ............................................... 13
Session 6
____________ Handout 6: Staying Busy ................................................... 15
Session 7
____________ Handout 7: Motivation for Recovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Session 8
____________ Handout 8: Truthfulness ................................................... 19
Session 9
____________ Handout 9: Total Abstinence ............................................... 21
Session 10
____________ Handout 10: Sex and Recovery ............................................. 23
Session 11
____________ Handout 11: Relapse Prevention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
continued
iii
Relapse Prevention Group Handouts
DATE
COMPLETED
Session 12
____________ Handout 12: Trust .......................................................... 27
Session 13
____________ Handout 13: Be Smart, Not Strong ......................................... 29
Session 14
____________ Handout 14: Defining Spirituality .......................................... 31
Session 15
____________ Handout 15: Taking Care of Business and Managing Money .............. 33
Session 16
____________ Handout 16: Relapse Justification I ........................................ 37
Session 17
____________ Handout 17: Taking Care of Yourself ....................................... 39
Session 18
____________ Handout 18: Dangerous Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Session 19
____________ Handout 19: Illness ........................................................ 43
Session 20
____________ Handout 20: Recognizing Stress ............................................ 45
Session 21
____________ Handout 21: Relapse Justification II ....................................... 47
Session 22
____________ Handout 22: Reducing Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Session 23
____________ Handout 23: Managing Anger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
continued
iv
Relapse Prevention Group Handouts
DATE
COMPLETED
Session 24
____________ Handout 24: Acceptance .................................................... 53
Session 25
____________ Handout 25: Making New Friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Session 26
____________ Handout 26: Repairing Relationships ...................................... 57
Session 27
____________ Handout 27: Serenity Prayer ............................................... 59
Session 28
____________ Handout 28: Compulsive Behavior ......................................... 61
Session 29
____________ Handout 29: Dealing with Feelings and Depression . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Session 30
____________ Handout 30: Twelve Step Programs (or Other Spiritual Groups) ........... 69
Session 31
____________ Handout 31: Looking Forward: Dealing with Downtime ................... 71
Session 32
____________ Handout 32: One Day at a Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Session 33 (Optional)
____________ Handout 33: Recreational Activities ........................................ 75
____________ Handout 34: Holidays and Recovery ....................................... 77
◆ ◆ ◆
v
Handout 1 • Relapse Prevention Group
1. Triggers for alcohol use are everywhere. It is sometimes hard to do anything social
without facing people who are drinking.
Do you have friends who get together without drinking? If so, write their
names here.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Many people use alcohol in response to internal triggers. Depression and anxiety
seem to go away when people have a drink. It’s difficult for them to realize that
sometimes the alcohol causes the depression.
Does feeling a certain way make you want to have a drink? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. If a person is addicted to an illicit drug and uses alcohol less often, alcohol may
not be viewed as a problem. The problem isn’t recognized until the person tries to
stop drinking.
Have you been able to stop drinking since you entered treatment? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Alcohol affects the rational, thinking part of the brain. It is hard to think reasonably
about a drug that makes thinking clearly more difficult.
Have you ever been sober at a party and watched people drink and “get
stupid” ? If so, describe the experience.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
5. Because alcohol dulls the rational brain, it promotes less controlled activity in the
lower brain. This results in alcohol helping people become more sexual, less self-
conscious, and more social. When you are used to using alcohol to increase sexual
pleasure and help you socialize, these activities feel uncomfortable without it.
Do you depend on alcohol for sexual or social reasons? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
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2
Handout 1 • Relapse Prevention Group Page 3 of 3
8. The habit of drinking gets to be part of certain activities. It seems difficult, at first,
to eat certain foods, go to sporting events, or relax without a beer or other drink.
What activities seem to go with drinking for you?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
It is important to remember that everyone who stops drinking has these problems at
first. As you work through the difficult situations and spend more time sober, it does
get easier.
3
Handout 2 • Relapse Prevention Group
Boredom
Often, people who stop using
drugs and alcohol say life feels boring.
2. Brain chemical changes during recovery can make people feel flat (or bored).
3. Drug and alcohol users often have huge emotional swings (high to low and
back to high). Normal emotions can feel flat by comparison.
People with longer sobriety rarely complain of continual boredom, so these feelings
do change. Meanwhile, there are some ways to help reduce this feeling.
1. Review your recreational activity list. Have you started doing things that you
enjoyed before using drugs and alcohol? Have you begun new activities that
interest you?
2. Can you plan something to look forward to? How long has it been since you’ve
taken a vacation?
3. Talk about this feeling with a mate or close friend. Does he or she feel bored, too?
Does he or she have any interesting suggestions?
4. Try going back to scheduling. Forcing yourself to write out daily activities helps
you see where you can schedule in more interesting experiences.
5. Do something risky that will further your personal growth. Sometimes boredom
results from not challenging yourself enough in your daily living.
•••
Which of the above might work for you? It is important to try new ways of fighting the
bored feeling. Untreated, it can be a trigger and move you toward relapse.
5
Handout 3A • Relapse Prevention Group
Maintaining a Recovery
Use the Mooring Lines Recovery Chart (page 9) to list and track the things that are
holding your recovery in place. Follow these guidelines when filling out the form:
1. Identify four or five specific things that are now helping you stay sober
(for example, working out for twenty minutes, three times per week).
4. Note specific people or places that are known triggers and need to be avoided
during recovery.
The checklist should be completed regularly (probably weekly). When two or more
items cannot be checked, it means that relapse drift is happening. Sometimes things
loosen your mooring lines. Vacations, illnesses, and holidays sometimes cannot be
controlled. The mooring lines disappear. Many people relapse during these times. Use
the chart to recognize when you are more likely to relapse and decide what to do to
keep this from happening.
•••
7
Handout 3B • Relapse Prevention Group
Use the chart below to list those activities that are very important to your continuing
recovery. If there are specific people or things you need to avoid, list them. Then look
back at your list regularly and check those items that you are continuing to follow to
stay anchored in your recovery.
Mooring Line Behaviors Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I Am Avoiding Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓) Date (✓)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
9
Handout 4 • Relapse Prevention Group
•••
People in any of the above situations have to deal with certain problems that can
make treatment more difficult. Some of the problems are outlined below; the numbers
correspond to the list above.
2. It is a generally accepted fact that during recovery, major changes (in jobs, relation-
ships, and other areas) should be delayed for six months to one year whenever
possible. There are many reasons for this:
3. Some jobs lend themselves to recovery more than others. Work situations that
are difficult to combine with outpatient treatment include the following:
b. Jobs that make large sums of cash money available at unpredictable times
4. Some jobs require long or unusual hours. Often, the very nature of the schedule
has contributed to the drug or alcohol problem in the first place. The first task, if
you have such a job, is to work with your therapist (and your boss or someone else
at your job) to make your schedule work for your recovery. Without this initial
intervention, your recovery will not stand a chance. Recovery is much too difficult
a process unless it is your number one priority while you are in treatment.
b. Without blocks of time spent at work, there is so much free time that it
is difficult to fill it and provide the structure that makes outpatient
treatment effective.
c. Resources are often more limited, making factors like transportation and
child care more of a problem.
•••
There are no easy solutions to these problems. It is important to be aware of the issues
so you can plan to make your recovery as strong as possible.
12
Handout 5 • Relapse Prevention Group
Guilt
What are some things you have done in the past that you feel guilty about?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Feeling guilty is a healthy reaction. It often means you have done something that
doesn’t agree with your values and morals. It is not unusual for people to get into
situations where they do things they feel guilty about. What is important is making
peace with yourself. Sometimes that means making up for things you’ve said and
done. Sometimes it means realizing you are feeling guilty unnecessarily.
Remember:
2. It’s all right to say, “I don’t know,” “I don’t care,” or “I don’t understand.”
Do you still feel guilty about the things you listed? What can you do to improve the
situation(s)?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Shame
Check the statements that apply to you:
______ I feel like I am a bad person because I am involved with alcohol or drugs.
•••
No one knows all the reasons that some people can stop using once they decide to
and other people cannot. Research shows some of the reasons have to do with family
histories, genes, and individual physical differences in people. They do not have to do
with some people being bad, stupid, or weak. Addiction affects people differently.
2. Trying to be strong
3. Trying to be good
1. Being smart
2. Working hard
•••
Everyone who is successful at recovery will tell you, “It was the hardest thing I ever
did.” No one can do it for you, and it will not just happen to you.
14
Handout 6 • Relapse Prevention Group
Staying Busy
Learning to schedule and to provide a structure of
activities to support your recovery is an important first step
in outpatient treatment. Staying busy doing things is
important for several reasons:
1. Often, relapses begin in the mind of a person who has nothing to do and nowhere
to go. The addicted brain begins to think about past using, and the thoughts can
start the craving process.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
How could you respond to prevent relapse if the trigger occurred again?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. When drug and alcohol use gets severe enough, the user will often begin to isolate.
Being around other people is uncomfortable and annoying. Being alone results in
fewer hassles.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. Being involved with other people and doing things keep life more interesting.
Living a drug- and alcohol-free life can sometimes feel pretty tame. You begin to
think being sober is boring, and using is exciting and desirable. People have to
work at finding ways to make sobriety fun.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. When people are involved in an addictive lifestyle, many of the things they used to
do and people they used to do them with get left behind. Beginning to reconnect or
to build a life around drug- and alcohol-free activities and people is critical to a
successful recovery.
How have you reconnected or built new activities and people into your life?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
16
Handout 7 • Relapse Prevention Group
“Last time I used, I thought I was going to die; I know I will if I use again.”
•••
“I’ve been drinking for twenty years now; it’s time to change.”
Which of the people quoted above are most likely to be successful in recovering? It
seems logical to think that people who want to stop drinking and using for themselves,
and not because someone else wants them to, are more likely to do well in treatment.
However, that may not be true. Research shows that the reasons people stop using have
little bearing on whether they will be able to successfully lead a drug- and alcohol-free
lifestyle.
What does make a difference is whether they can stay drug and alcohol free long
enough to appreciate the benefits of a different lifestyle. When debts are not over-
whelming, when relationships are rewarding, when work is going well, and when health
is good, the recovering addicted person wants to stay drug and alcohol free.
1. List some of the specific reasons you first entered treatment (medical problems,
family pressure, job problems, depression, and so on).
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. List some of the specific reasons you are continuing to work on the recovery
process today.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. Do you feel that your reasons for stopping drug and alcohol use initially are the
same as your reasons for staying sober today? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
18
Handout 8 • Relapse Prevention Group
Truthfulness
During Addiction
Not being truthful is part of addiction. It may be very hard
to meet the demands of daily living (in relationships, in families,
in jobs, and so on) and use drugs and alcohol regularly. As the addiction progresses,
so do the activities that are necessary to obtain, use, and recover from the drug or
alcohol use. It becomes more and more difficult to keep everything going smoothly, and
addicted people often find themselves doing and saying whatever is necessary to avoid
problems. Truthfulness is not always a consideration.
In what ways were you less than truthful during your addiction?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
During Recovery
Being honest with yourself and with others during the recovery process is critically
important. Sometimes being truthful is very difficult:
• You may not seem to be a “nice” person.
Trying to be in recovery without being truthful will make you feel crazy. It will make
everything you are doing seem like a waste of time.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
20
Handout 9 • Relapse Prevention Group
Total Abstinence
Have you ever found yourself saying any of the following?
“My problem is my drug use. Alcohol (or pot) is not a problem for me.”
If you entered the program to stop using a specific drug, you may have wondered why
you were asked to sign an agreement stating your willingness to also stop using other
drugs and alcohol. There are many reasons total abstinence is a necessary goal for
recovering people. A few of them are the following:
• Follow-up studies show that stimulant users are eight times more likely to relapse
if they continue using alcohol and three times more likely to relapse if they use
marijuana. You can greatly reduce your chances of relapsing by maintaining total
abstinence.
• Places and people associated with drinking are often the very places and people
that are triggers for drug use.
• When you’re learning to handle problems without resorting to drug or alcohol use,
using another drug or alcohol to numb the uncomfortable learning process
1. Blocks your chance to practice coping without running away.
2. Puts you at risk for becoming dependent on the alcohol or secondary drug.
• As one patient said, “When I invite one friend over (alcohol), they all want
to come.”
•••
Remember: You are committing to be totally drug and alcohol free only while you are
in treatment. If it’s more difficult than you expected, maybe you are more dependent
than you thought.
21
Handout 10 • Relapse Prevention Group
Intimate Sex
This kind of sexual activity involves a significant other. The sex is a part of the
relationship. Sometimes the sexual feelings are warm and mellow, sometimes they
are wild and passionate, but they result from and add to the feelings each partner
has for the other.
Impulsive Sex
Sexual activity in this category is a compulsive behavior. It can be used and abused
in the same way substances are used and abused. It is possible to become addicted to
impulsive sex. The partner in this type of sexual activity is usually irrelevant. There
may or may not be another person involved. If there is, the person is a vehicle for the
high. There is little, if any, relationship involvement.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
Impulsive sex is not part of a healthy recovering lifestyle. It can be the first step in
the relapse process. Like secondary drug or alcohol use, impulsive sex can trigger a
relapse and result in use of the primary drug of choice.
23
Handout 11 • Relapse Prevention Group
Relapse Prevention
Why Is Relapse Prevention Important?
Recovery is more than not using drugs and alcohol.
The first step in treatment is stopping drug and alcohol use.
The next step is not starting again. This is very important, and the process for doing
it is called relapse prevention.
Addiction
➞
What Is Relapse?
Relapse is going back to drug
Treatment
or alcohol use and to all the
➞
behaviors and patterns that go
with that. Often the behaviors Sobriety
and patterns return before the
➞
actual drug or alcohol use.
Learning to recognize the Addictive behavior
Addictive thinking
beginning of a relapse can
Emotional buildup
help the recovering person
➞
➞
The choice is explained in the
chart on the right. Continued sobriety Readdiction
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The important step is to take action as soon as you recognize the danger signs.
Check actions that might work for you:
26
Handout 12 • Relapse Prevention Group
Trust
1. Have drugs or alcohol affected the trust between
you and people you care about? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Does someone not trusting you ever make you feel like using? (“If you are going
to treat me like I’m using, I might as well use.”) Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
When an addicted person is using, it is very difficult for him or her to have an open,
honest relationship with any other person. Things are said and done that destroy the
trust and damage the relationship. The drug or alcohol use becomes as important or
more important to the user than other people.
When drug and alcohol use stops, the trust does not return right away. One or
both people may want the trust back, but trust is a feeling, and people cannot make
feelings happen. It takes time for feelings to change. To trust means to feel certain
you can rely on someone or something. People cannot be certain because they want
to be. Only time can make the difference.
3. How do you deal with suspicions about drug and alcohol use?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
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•••
28
Handout 13 • Relapse Prevention Group
“I have been doing well, and I think it’s time to test myself and see if I can be
around friends who are using. It’s just a matter of willpower.”
•••
“I think I can have a drink and not use speed. I never had a problem with
alcohol anyway.”
Staying drug and alcohol free does not depend on strength. People who are able to
maintain abstinence do it by being smart. They know that the key to not drinking
and not using is to keep far away from relapse situations. The closer you get, the more
likely a relapse becomes. If drugs or alcohol appears unexpectedly, and you are close
to them and to friends who are drinking and using, your chances of using are much
greater than if you weren’t in that situation. Smart people stay sober by avoiding
triggers for as long as possible.
How smart are you being? Rate how well you are doing in avoiding relapse:
POOR FAIR GOOD EXCELLENT
2. Scheduling 1 2 3 4
3. Keeping appointments 1 2 3 4
4. Avoiding triggers 1 2 3 4
9. Exercising 1 2 3 4
10. Being truthful 1 2 3 4
29
Handout 14 • Relapse Prevention Group
Defining Spirituality
What does spirituality mean to you?
Check those definitions that seem to apply.
1. Spirituality is
______ The philosophical context of a person’s life (values, rules, attitudes, and views)
The second and third definitions describe spirituality in a broad sense. Many people
believe that these broad definitions are the most useful way to think of spirituality.
They view being spiritual as something that has to do with a person’s spirit or soul,
as distinguished from the physical nature. Some people believe the level and degree
of spirituality in a person’s life will dictate the quality of life. In Finding Inner Peace
(1988), Earnie Larsen suggests you can assess the quality of your spirituality by
answering the following questions:*
2. How much is enough? (What do you want from life, and are you getting it?)
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Who do I have to be before I approve of myself ? (What qualities are most important
to you?)
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
5. What does success mean to me? (What does “making it” mean?)
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
6. What would be the most comfortable and easy way for me to increase the spiritual
aspects of my own life, should I choose to do so?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
32
Handout 15 • Relapse Prevention Group
4. What repair and maintenance needs of your house or apartment are necessary?
8. Are you handling daily living chores (such as grocery shopping, laundry, and
cleaning)?
If you try to do all this at once, you may feel overwhelmed and hopeless. Take one or
two items each week and focus on clearing up one area at a time. Dealing with these
issues will help you regain a sense of control over your life.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. I will start by
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. I will start by
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Managing Money
Being in control of your finances is being in control of your life.
5. When people with addictions are actively using, their out-of-control lifestyle is often
reflected in monetary ways. Check any of the following that have been true for you.
34
Handout 15 • Relapse Prevention Group Page 3 of 3
Often, when patients first enter treatment, they choose to give control of their money
to someone they trust. Having another person handle your money will not work unless
it is done at your request. In making the decision, you are controlling your own finances
and asking the trusted person to act as your banker.
When you and your therapist decide you can safely handle money again, you can
begin working toward gaining financial maturity. You may choose to have some of the
following goals:
• Arrange to pay off large debts in small, regular payments.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
•••
35
Handout 16 • Relapse Prevention Group
Relapse Justification I
Once a person decides not to use drugs and alcohol
anymore, how does he or she end up doing it again?
Does it happen completely by accident, or is there
some way of avoiding the relapse?
• I had friends come for dinner, and they brought me some wine.
Catastrophic Events
Is there one unlikely, major event that is the only reason you would use? What might
such an event be for you? How would using drugs or alcohol improve the situation?
• My spouse left me. There’s no reason to stay clean.
• I just got injured. It’s ruined all of my plans. I might as well use.
• Other _______________________________
Specific Purposes
Has your addicted brain ever suggested that using a certain drug or alcohol is the
only way to accomplish something?
• I’m gaining weight and need stimulants to control how much I eat.
• Other _______________________________
• Other________________________________
What might you do when your addicted brain asks these questions?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
38
Handout 17 • Relapse Prevention Group
3. Have you considered getting a “new look” the next time you cut your hair?
4. Are you paying attention to what you are eating? Is it too much, too little,
or of adequate nutritional value?
5. Do you still wear the same clothes you wore during your using episodes?
If addressing all these things at once is too overwhelming, work on one or two items
each week. Decide which are the most important and do them first. As you look and
feel better, you will increase both the strength and the pleasure of your recovery.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
39
Handout 18 • Relapse Prevention Group
Dangerous Emotions
For many people, certain emotional states are
“red flag” feelings, often viewed by people in recovery
as “the reason I use.” It seems, to people in recovery, that if they could avoid ever
feeling lonely, angry, or deprived, they would never relapse. The emotional trigger
leads to automatic use.
Loneliness: It is difficult to give up friends and activities that are part of a drug- and
alcohol-using lifestyle. Being separated from friends and family leaves people feeling
lonely. Often, nonusing friends and family members are not ready to get together with
the addicted person. They are not ready to risk getting back into a relationship that
didn’t work earlier. The recovering person is stranded between groups of friends, and
the feeling of loneliness can become a driving force that moves him or her back to using.
Anger: The intense irritability experienced in the early stages of recovery can result
in floods of anger that are, for many people, instantly triggering. The rage comes
directly from the limbic area, the addicted brain. Once a person is into that frame of
mind, it is a short trip to drug or alcohol use and possibly a long trip back to the
rational state of mind.
1. Have any of these emotional states been a trigger for you in the past? Expain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Are there any other negative emotional states that are dangerous for you? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
One of the goals during the recovery process is learning to separate thoughts, behaviors,
and emotions. Once you learn this, it is possible for you to control what you think and
how you behave. So that you are not always acting only on your feelings, it is important
to recognize and begin to try to understand your emotions.
Many people find writing to be a good tool for recognizing and understanding how
they feel and why they feel that way. It is not necessary to be a good writer to use this
tool. It is often used by people who do not like to write and who have never written
much in the past. Follow these simple instructions and try a new way of getting to
know yourself:
• Find a private, comfortable, quiet place just for writing, and try to write a little
each day.
• Begin by taking several deep breaths and relaxing.
• Write in response to a question that you have asked yourself about your feelings.
(“What am I feeling right now?” “Why am I angry?” “Why am I sad?”)
• If something is bothering you, and you can’t get started writing, ask yourself
the following:
– What is going on?
– Is there really a problem, or am I making the situation bigger than it is?
– How do I really feel about this?
– What can I do about this?
• Allow the words to flow; forget spelling or punctuating correctly.
Doing this can help prevent you from blaming other people and things for how you
feel. Any time you write about something, it becomes much clearer to you. It can also
help you avoid the emotional buildup process that often leads to relapse.
•••
42
Handout 19 • Relapse Prevention Group
Illness
Getting sick is a setup for relapse. “How can that be?” you
might wonder. “It’s not my fault that I get sick. I don’t have
control over getting the flu or getting colds. How is it a setup?”
There are a number of ways that people can be less than healthy:
• Getting a cold, the flu, or some other infection
• Having surgery
These situations and others like them make you weaker than normal. When you
are physically weaker, you also have less mental energy. Fighting a substance abuse
problem requires a good deal of mental energy.
What are some of the things that happen when you are ill and have less energy?
• Visits to the clinic are canceled.
• AA, CA, or NA meetings, or other outside support group meetings, are missed.
• Exercise is impossible.
Imagine if all these things happened at once for any length of time, even if you were
feeling strong.
As a result of the above, many people report that when they are ill
• It is difficult to cope with hours or days of free time now that everything has
been canceled.
• The lack of structure is a trigger.
• Being in bed and not feeling well reminds them of “after-using time.”
In order to keep all the negative effects of illness from interfering with your recovery,
it is important to allow yourself as little “sick time” as possible. If you push to restart
recovery behaviors as soon as possible after an illness or difficult medical condition,
you will feel stronger and your recovery will be stronger.
•••
43
Handout 20 • Relapse Prevention Group
Recognizing Stress
Stress is what a person experiences as the result of difficult
or upsetting events, particularly those that continue for a
period of time.
Stress is the experience people have when the demands they make of themselves or
those placed upon them are greater than what they feel they can handle. Sometimes we
are unaware of this emotional state until the stress is producing physical symptoms.
Check any of the following problems you have experienced in the past thirty days:
______ Headaches
______ Fatigue
______ Moodiness
______ Irritability
•••
If you have checked two or more of these items, you need to think about reducing
stress immediately. By becoming more aware of stress and learning ways to cope,
you can further ensure your continuing recovery.
45
Handout 21 • Relapse Prevention Group
Relapse Justification II
Once a person decides not to use drugs and alcohol
anymore, how does he or she end up doing it again?
Does it happen completely by accident, or is there
some way of avoiding the relapse?
Addiction Is Cured
Does your addicted brain ever try to convince you that you can use just once or use
just a little?
• I’m back in control. I’ll be able to stop when I want to.
• I’ve learned I’ll only use small amounts and only once in a while.
Testing Yourself
Would your brain like to prove you could be stronger than drugs or alcohol? It’s very
easy to forget that being smart, not being strong, is the key to staying sober. Have you
ever had any of the following thoughts:
• I’m strong enough to be around drugs and alcohol now.
• Other ____________________________
Celebrating
Both the addicted brain and other people may encourage you to fall for the following:
• I’m feeling really good. Using once won’t hurt.
• I’m doing so well. Things are going great. I owe myself a reward.
• Other ____________________________
•••
48
Handout 22 • Relapse Prevention Group
Reducing Stress
The following questions should be answered as honestly
as possible to help identify which parts of your daily living
are most stressful. Take steps to correct these problems,
and you will reduce stress in your life.
1. Your time, energy, and money are all you have to give. Are you investing them
in work that you enjoy and that satisfies you?
2. Focusing on the present means giving your attention to the task at hand without
past and future fears crippling you. Are you usually able to stay in the here and now?
3. Do you appreciate things like music, reading, nature, and personal relationships?
(Or are you overly focused on having money and things?)
5. Do you tackle large goals by breaking them into smaller, more manageable tasks?
7. Can you and do you say no when that is how you feel?
8. Do you know how to use self-relaxation techniques to relax your body, and do
you allow time in your day to do them?
9. Are you careful to avoid large swings in body energy caused by taking in excess
sugar and caffeine?
10. Are there specific ways you deal with anger and get it out of your system physically?
•••
50
Handout 23 • Relapse Prevention Group
Managing Anger
Anger is an emotion that leads many
people to relapse. This is particularly true early in
treatment. Anger is frequently experienced as a slow, building process during which
you constantly think about the anger-producing issues. Sometimes it seems that the
issue causing the anger is the only important thing in life. Often, a sense of victimization
accompanies the anger. “Why do I get all the bad breaks?” “How come she doesn’t
understand my needs?” “Why won’t he just do what I want him to do?”
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Are there any positive ways to deal with anger? Consider these methods:
• Talk to the person you are angry with.
• Talk to a therapist, a Twelve Step sponsor, or another person who can give
you guidance.
• Talk about the anger in an outside support group meeting.
• Exercise.
• Other ________________________________
51
Handout 24 • Relapse Prevention Group
Acceptance
“Just say no” is good advice to help prevent experimentation
with drugs and alcohol. It is not an answer to addiction.
Overcoming addiction requires that you recognize the power
of addiction and accept the personal limitations that occur as
a result of it. Many people experience this acceptance when
they enter treatment. But entering treatment is just the
first act of acceptance. It cannot be the only one.
One of the biggest problems in staying drug and alcohol free, and one of the major
reasons for what is called “white-knuckle sobriety,” is the refusal to “let go” and accept
that a human being has limits. Accepting a substance abuse problem is not a statement
of weakness. Does having diabetes or a heart condition mean you are a weak person?
Accepting the idea that you have become a substance abuser does not mean you
cannot control your life. It means there are some things you cannot control, and one of
them is the use of drugs or alcohol. If you continue to struggle with trying to control
the addiction, you give it more power.
There is a paradox in this recovery process. People who accept the reality of
addiction to the greatest degree benefit the most in recovery. Those who don’t fight
with the idea of quitting are the ones who win the fight. The only way to win this
fight is to surrender. If you continue to fight, the addiction will slap you to your knees.
The longer you fight, the further you get slapped down.
2. I hope someday I can use and drink again. Yes _____ No _____
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
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Handout 25 • Relapse Prevention Group
Nothing in the whole recovery process is more important than relationships. Friends
and family are mirrors that reflect who we are. It has been said, “You will become like
those people with whom you spend your time.” Use the following questions to help you
think about your friendships:
1. Do you have any friends like the one described in the poem above? If yes, who
are they?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Where can you make some new acquaintances that might become friends?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
6. What behaviors do you need to change to be better able to have honest relationships?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
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Handout 26 • Relapse Prevention Group
Repairing Relationships
During the course of a substance abuse problem, it is not
unusual for people to get hurt. Because the actively addicted
person often cannot take care of himself or herself, he or she
certainly cannot take care of others.
In recovery, it is often helpful to think about whom you have hurt during your
substance abuse and whether you need to do anything or say anything to repair the
relationships that are most important to you. In the Twelve Step programs, this
process is called “making amends.”
1. What are some of the past behaviors you might want to make amends for?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Do you feel that being in recovery and stopping the use of drugs and alcohol is
enough? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
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Handout 27 • Relapse Prevention Group
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
59
Handout 28 • Relapse Prevention Group
Compulsive Behavior
Many addicted people enter treatment just to
stop using drugs and alcohol. They do not intend to
change their lives entirely. When they enter treatment, they are told that recovery
requires making other changes in the way they are living their lives. The lifestyle
changes recommended are focused on getting the recovering person back in control
of his or her life.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Have you noticed yourself behaving excessively in any of the following ways?
Check all that apply to you.
______ Gambling
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Does the following sound familiar? “I stopped smoking, drinking, and drug use. It
was hard. Then one day I gave in and had a cigarette. I felt so bad that I had messed
up, I ended up using.” This behavior is called the abstinence violation syndrome.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
5. Are you making major lifestyle changes in this recovery process? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Handout 28 • Relapse Prevention Group Page 3 of 4
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Prevention
Once you are aware of the things that are triggers for you, you can take steps to
prevent a relapse. Here are some suggestions of things you can do in order to prevent
a relapse:
63
Handout 28 • Relapse Prevention Group Page 4 of 4
COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you plan to do the next time you’re aware of being in a relapse situation?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
64
Handout 29 • Relapse Prevention Group
The idea here is not to let out-of-control feelings drive you back to using. Learning
to deal (cope) with emotions means allowing yourself to feel and live life with a balance
of thinking and feeling, which then determines your behavior.
Depression
One feeling that typically needs to be dealt with in recovery is depression. Although
we know drug use, alcohol use, and depression are related, it is not yet known if this
relationship exists because depressed people use more or if drug and alcohol use causes
depression. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Most people report having problems with depression from time to time during
recovery. For some people this depression, left untreated, can result in relapse.
Therefore, it is important to be aware of signs of depression and to be prepared to
cope with the feelings.
1. Symptoms of depression include the following (check all that apply to you):
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Handout 29 • Relapse Prevention Group Page 3 of 3
2. List any other signs that you recognize as signaling the beginning of depression.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. List any other ways you have of effectively coping with depression.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
•••
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Handout 30 • Relapse Prevention Group
What is AA?
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a worldwide organization that has been in existence
since 1935. AA holds free, open meetings throughout the day and evening, seven days
per week, to help people who want to stop being controlled by compulsive disorders.
TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS (OR OTHER SPIRITUAL GROUPS) continued from other side
•••
It is strongly recommended that you attend AA, CA, or NA meetings while you are in
treatment. Ask other patients for help in choosing the best meeting for you, and sample
several different meetings. Try to be open to what you can get out of AA; it may offer
social, emotional, or spiritual support, or it may merely offer something to do.
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Handout 31 • Relapse Prevention Group
Looking Forward:
Dealing with Downtime
Structure is important. Scheduling is important.
Balance is important. Downtime is important. So you’re making it work.
Recovery is working because you’re working at it. Now what? Do you feel like some-
thing is missing? Do you feel like you need to take a break from the routine and get
excited about something?
If you are in the Wall stage, you may not be able to feel much excitement about any-
thing. Some of the flat feeling in recovery may be a result of one of the following factors:
• The recovery process the body is going through prevents you from feeling strong
feelings of any kind.
• Normal life feels less exciting than life as an addicted person.
There is a trick people use to put a sense of anticipation and excitement into their
lives. It is possible to plan certain things and to look forward to them. Some people
think of this as building islands—islands of rest, recreation, or fun; islands to look
forward to so that the future doesn’t seem so endless and routine. The islands don’t
need to be big, extravagant things. They can be things like
• Going out of town for a three-day weekend • Visiting relatives
The islands do need to be things you really look forward to doing. They also need to
be spaced closely enough so that you don’t get too stressed, tired, or bored in between,
thereby threatening your recovery.
_________________________________ _________________________________
_________________________________ _________________________________
_________________________________ _________________________________
_________________________________ _________________________________
Downtime
The Problem
Being in recovery means living responsibly. Deciding what to do, acting intelligently,
and constantly staying “with it” can be exhausting. It is easy to run out of energy and
become tired and negative. Life can become a cycle of sameness: getting up, going to
work, coming home, lying on the couch, going to bed, and then doing it again the next
day. People in recovery who allow themselves to get to this state of boredom and
exhaustion are very vulnerable to relapse. It is difficult to resist anything or anyone
when your energy level is so low.
Shopping
What will you do now on a day when you’re stressed and in the past might have said, “I
really need a drink” or “I need to get high today”? What will your downtime activity be?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
72
Handout 32 • Relapse Prevention Group
1. Can you think of a recent situation in which you allowed the past to make the
present more difficult? Explain.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Allowing what might happen to overwhelm you is projecting into the future. You
cannot deal with the unknown. You can only deal with what is happening right now,
today. You are filling yourself with fear when you begin telling yourself things like
“Tomorrow something will happen to ruin this.”
“That person is going to hate me for this.”
“I will never be able to make it.”
2. What are some things you tell yourself to produce fear of the future?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. What are some other things you can tell yourself to bring you back to the present?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Handout 33 • Relapse Prevention Group
75
Handout 34 • Relapse Prevention Group
______ Dealing with New Year’s Eve and other party occasions
Scoring:
Mild: If you checked one to three items, you are lucky. The holidays produce only a
slightly increased risk of relapse.
Moderate: If you checked four to six items, the holidays add lots of stress to your life.
Relapse risk is related to how well you cope with increased stress. Your score indi-
cates that you need to plan carefully for your recovery during the holidays.
Severe: Seven or more items checked indicates that the holidays add a major amount
of stress to your life. Relapse prevention means learning how to recognize added stress
and taking extra care during dangerous periods. Your score indicates the holidays are
one of these periods for you.
•••
No one has to relapse. No one benefits from a relapse. Think about your recovery plan.
Add some meetings. Schedule your time. See your therapist. Use the tools that have
helped you in recovery to stay drug and alcohol free through this stressful time.
78