We are incredibly bad at knowing ourselves.

At separating the wheat from the chaff.

We see things not as they are, but as we think they are.

Our memories are infallible, our legacy belief systems profound blind spots, our biases hold them stubbornly in place.

This means in any attempt at planning a year, setting goals and then standing any chance of delivering on them, must start with looking under the bonnet.

Because your ambitions for 2025 are only as good as your ability reflect.

I have written a short book, which I am calling ‘The Breakthrough Book’*, based on some rather lovely feedback from one of my coaching clients (‘I call it ‘My Breakthrough Book’, it has been that important, it has had that much impact, thank you.’) and one of the key chapters is on ‘Reflection’.

That Chapter is below, I hope it’s as helpful for you as you review your last 12 months as it has been for over 300+ clients who have used it (and added many new questions - it is ever evolving).

Chapter 2: Reflect - The art of guided spontaneity

What follows are questions to help you reflect. In sailing terms, it’s called ‘Dead Reckoning’: you can only know where you are and where you might go, by knowing how you got there. That’s what this is about.

There are lots of different kinds of questions, some more functional, some more emotional. They are usually open and broad, it’s entirely up to you how you interpret them.

There are many that look similar. These are designed to make you think slightly differently about similar things. Designed to look for angles, points of view that elicit a different response.

You will find they are varied enough, for one in particular, or a combination of them, to cause a re-frame, a re-evaluation.

So you have to keep going, keep asking.

Start by flicking through them, some will speak to you, you’ll want to answer them. Others will have the opposite effect, you won’t want to engage: those are probably the most important ones, circle them, then do them first.

Think of it as ‘guided spontaneity’.

For each question, don’t force, don’t push.

See what comes and let what rises, rise.

Sometimes, questions later will cause you to re-consider questions earlier in a different light, allow yourself to revisit, re-appraise.

Don’t try and do them all in one go, try exploring two a day, they often come in pairs (you’ll see there are a lot of duality/opposites).

It takes time. Give it time. Work at your own pace.

At the end of this section, you’ll find a few ‘master questions’: they are to help you capture the essence of the insights that you will have glimpsed during the exploration.

What brings most joy?

What brings most pain?

What was my lowest point?

What was my highest?

What do I put off regularly, consistently? And why?.

What do I overthink?

What do I stick to? And why?.

What am I best at? And how much of my life, my time does that represent?.

What do I enjoy doing most? And how often do I do that/those things?.

What do I most regret?

What were the opportunities that I missed?

What were the biggest surprises?

What were the biggest disappointments?

What unexpectedly worked?

What unexpectedly didn’t work?

What mistakes did I make?

What lessons did I learn?

What lessons did I act on?

What should I have done but didn’t?

What obstacles translated into opportunities?

Where did I protect or build my assets? (mind, body, social, financial).

Where did I damage my assets? Ask: how? Ask: why?

What are my biggest assumptions, and are they right? And were they ever right?.

What assumptions did I challenge?

How am I richer, poorer?

What am I most excited about? And why?

What am I most worried about? And why?

Who am I most grateful for? And when did I last tell them?

What I am most grateful for?

What existing ideas are unfinished?

What new ideas did I not start?

Where could I have had more fun?

What could I have made more fun?

Where was I most experimental?

Where was I most playful, open?

Where was I most closed, rigid?

What does my work heaven look like? What does my work hell look like?

What am I missing?

What am I choosing not to see?

What is most important?