Empath Empowerment in 30 Days: Enjoy Your Life So Much More!

PART ONE

Change What Needs Changing

When you have talent (but little skill) as an empath, others can seem like The Most Important Person in The Room.

The nine people folks in our cast of characters? They were all at a party. Someone brought them together for a quick photo. Say that you’re the one in the front row, that grayed out person.

Why are You looking grayed out? That’s what UNSKILLED EMPATHS tend to do without realizing it. Everybody but you seems to be more vivid. To yourself, it’s as if you’re pictured in lighter shades of gray.

Even if you worry about seeming selfish sometimes, you still could be putting yourself last. Part One will help to you find out for sure. Then I’ll help you to change what needs changing. Empath Empowerment doesn’t happen instantly. But our 30-Day Plan should do it for you… fast as humanly possible…learning quite comfortably… one easy day at a time.

About the 10-minute idea, incidentally. That’s an average for your homework. And that 10 minutes of homework is in addition to reading this book. Since some of you empaths may read faster than others, and some of you might even choose to reread a particularly choice chapter. Thus, each lesson’s homework is what I mean by EE in 30 — 10 minutes a day for 30 days, easing yourself into Empath Empowerment. Sweet!

DAY 1

Get the Picture

Digital cameras today are pretty advanced. Even so, they can’t show what happens deep inside a person. The picture of that grayed-out person on Page 4 is my attempt to remedy that. I’ve supplied a thrillingly accurate, split-second portrait of the inner you… as a not-yet-skilled empath.

What is happening inside you? I’m asking about your spiritual consciousness, the part of you that’s awake inside.

Let’s put that question in a more practical way. When you spend time with others, who gets to be The Most Important Person in The Room?

Until you become skilled as an empath, the answer probably varies from minute to minute, except for one thing. One person is consistently ignored, underplayed, de-emphasized, under-appreciated: You.

Sure, you’ll have an overall sense of self. Outwardly, you may seem just like all the non-empaths in the room, walking and talking and chatting away in Elvish. (Okay, nobody in the room speaks Elvish, empath or not. Although our 30-Day Plan is seriously helpful, I reserve the right to make jokes.)

What is so different about your experience, just because you’re an empath? There’s an energy awareness of others, a subtext, like watching a TV show where little icons and news-flashes keep popping up at the edges of the screen.

Here are hypothetical examples of those flashy little attention-grabbers. Say that you are visiting with the cast of characters on that earlier page. And all these folks are at a party with you.

Minutes ago, someone has brought you together for the group picture. Afterwards, everybody goes back to partying. What do you notice about them?

ROSCOE, the older guy, dominates the conversation. You feel his energy bouncing off people, large as life and twice as bossy. You notice how others respond to him. Some are starting to feel pretty bad about themselves, the way Roscoe casually disrespects them.

Eventually Roscoe turns his attention to you. On the surface, he appears to be acting polite. Yet intuitively you sense that he doesn’t respect you as an equal. As what then? He seems to view you like an unimpressive 10-year-old, none too bright, somebody who mistakenly wandered into this party to watch the grownups.

How you wish that Roscoe would acknowledge you properly. (For one thing, you are a grownup now, thank you.) Yet the more you react against Roscoe’s image of you, the more you find yourself dumbing down into what he expects. It’s like being a chameleon, only scarier.

HANNAH is involved in a friendly, animated conversation. Except, oops, her back sure seems to be hurting like crazy. And she seems anxious, too. Although Hannah hides the discomfort well, somehow you know. If only she felt better!

This wish is made so quickly, you don’t consciously remember making it. Consequences follow anyway. (The technical term involves Taking on someone else’s STUFF. We’ll discuss that, and how to prevent it, later.)

Meanwhile, LEXI, that gorgeous young woman over in the corner, is clearly flirting with James. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just enjoy how beautifully she’s dressed? Behold that perfect jewelry!\ Even her artless little tee shirt costs about five times as much as anything you own. Behold and admire… except that will probably be hard. You see, beneath her charming smile, Lexi is also wearing the most annoying, smug air of superiority. What’s with that? Exhausting!

As for JAMES, he seems pleasant enough. But omigosh, he is lusting after Lexi in the most obvious and embarrassing way. Obvious and embarrassing to you, that is. Outwardly, James may be having a perfectly innocent conversation. He’s not even staring, especially. Yet to you, the heat waves are so strong it’s amazing that nobody else seems to notice. Even Lexi doesn’t quite seem to notice, not at first.

As the sexual charge builds between James and Lexi, there’s nothing you can do except, perhaps, try to avoid this tropical corner of the party.

Ever Notice? Sometimes Other People Seem Way Too Intense

When you’re an unskilled empath, other people in the room can seem way more vivid than you. Is it common for you to have one or more of the following experiences while you’re with others?

Wondering what it is like to be someone else.

Experiencing at depth what it feels like to be that person.

Finding problems, pain or fears, in others. No trying!

Wishing that things could be better for that other person.

Wishing that somehow you could help.

Observing someone’s conversation (even if it isn’t yours), you automatically notice what’s going on beneath the surface.

When somebody has a negative judgment of you, it may be seem overwhelmingly obvious, no more a secret than if he or she started singing La Bamba in a very loud voice.

You might even slide into acting differently, more like the way you’re expected to act.

Come to think of it, you may define yourself in that room much as a bat would. Why? You’re doing a human version of echolocation. Depending on how you sound to others, that’s how you find yourself.

Some Party

And I called this a party? Ouch. If you’re an unskilled empath, other people in the room with you are in color, while you’re more like black-and-white.

Doesn’t everybody do that? Not really. NON-EMPATHS naturally put themselves first. They experience themselves in vivid color, brighter and more interesting than everyone else.

Granted, a non-empath will occasionally have an insight, such as I notice things going on beneath the surface of the conversation. While an unskilled empath has insights constantly, and to such an extent that it’s like living grayed out — fascinated by everyone else, because even random people appear so much more colorful.

Yet a SKILLED EMPATH gets to be in full color, just like everyone else, and going deeper when we choose. Yes, going deeper as a matter of choice. Otherwise we stay on the surface of life, enjoying the very human privilege of personal vividness in living color.

Before then? Chances are, most of the vividness you experience (verging even on overwhelm, sometimes) really isn’t about you at all. Instead you’re noticing the inner intensity of other people.

What is the simplest way to understand what it means to be a skilled empath? Maybe this: You learn to make yourself The Most Important Person in The Room. Non-empaths do this from birth. They will always be able do this more easily than you. But that doesn’t mean they will always do it better.

Consider this possibility. Despite not automatically being The Most Important Person in The Room, you possess something else very valuable, something potentially joyful, and even spiritually important. You have at least one important gift as an empath. And that gift is trainable. (Empath gifts will be discussed in more detail tomorrow.)

When you learn how to use your gift(s) on purpose, your quality of life can improve dramatically, compared to what you have now.

The Most Important Person in The Room — you can definitely feel that way (sanely) by becoming a skilled empath.

But getting the full skill set in place takes a 30-Day Plan for Empath Empowerment, not some 10-second summary. For a preview of what to expect, take some Random Snapshots.

Random Snapshots

What does it mean, feeling and acting like The Most Important Person in The Room?

To breathe life into the concept, try the technique I call Random Snapshots. You can do it whenever two or more people are near you, interacting together.

Observe family, friends, business associates, even strangers — anyone in a room with you and at least two other people. Focus on one of these people at a time. (For this technique, we’ll call everyone else but you by the same name, Pat.)

Observe Pat’s body language and expression or just get a vibe. You’re not doing hard science here, but noticing in whatever ways come naturally.

Based on what you observe, does Pat feel like The Most Important Person in The Room?

Everyone has the right to feel like The Most Important Person in The Room. Yet not everybody claims that right.

Does Pat seem self-absorbed? That’s no insult necessarily. A person can act very politely while being self-absorbed. In fact, a common synonym for that is self-confident.

Your Assignment for Day 1

Brave Explorer, your assignment is simple. As you deal with people today, take the occasional Random Snapshot with your awareness. Who shows the kind of confidence that suggests feeling like The Most Important Person in The Room?

Within the next 24 hours, will you encounter a single person who can be deeply aware of others (as you naturally are) yet who also shows an easy self-confidence?

Such a person would be a role model for you, a skilled empath.

Skilled empaths are rare… so far. In 30 days, you can become one of them. Don’t let the scarcity of role models bother you.

DAY 2

Take This Quiz

Are you an empath? If so, what is your gift? Take this Empath Awareness Quiz to find out.

Having even one gift would qualify you as a card-carrying empath, with all the rights and privileges to which membership entitles you. Do you have several gifts, just one, or none? By reading the following descriptions, you may relate or not. Answer YES or NO, depending.

I should confess that I have mixed in some descriptions that aren’t about being an empath at all. Instead they are popular misunderstandings about being an empath.

Even if you know so much already that you can instantly spot the trick questions, please answer them anyway: If you can relate to each statement that follows, answer YES. Otherwise answer NO.

Empath Awareness Quiz

Can you relate, YES or NO?

I can catch another person’s mood as easily as if I’m catching a yawn.

Although I don’t feel other people’s feelings, I sure know what those feelings are. For instance, I might know that the other person is lying, or clueless, or feeling five different things all at once.

Much of the time, I feel lost and alone, sometimes even miserable.

I can always tell if a woman is promiscuous, even if she’s nicely dressed.

When I hike in a forest and the trees or animals are suffering, I can feel it.

I might actually be part chameleon, because I talk differently with different people, using bigger words or smaller. I’ll give different examples, depending. Like when I’m with an artist, colors seem brighter. With a musician, I notice sounds more than usual.

Back at catching things, I have been known to catch other people’s headaches or other physical symptoms. I guess I’m suggestible. Could I even be a hypochondriac?

I don’t necessarily catch other people’s aches and pains but I can be with someone and start feeling pressure or pain in different parts of my body.

I might have a selfish version of this. Nothing happens in my own body but I’ll be pretty sure, sometimes, that another person is tired or hurts somewhere physically.

Sometimes I can tell things about people spiritually without having to ask, e.g., A person has something to prove spiritually, or hates the subject of religion, or has a strong spiritual connection.

I love fantasy novels, so naturally I’m intrigued when I see people describing themselves as a Fallen Angel Empath or an Artist Empath (where Everything you touch turns to song and is freed by the color of your eyes.) When I find examples like these on the Internet, I could read for hours. I wonder if I could be all these different types of empath.

I’ll be with a friend and suddenly I’ll be like, Life is good. or Life is bad. Feelings like these can just flicker through me, depending on whoever I’m with. Another weird one is that, out of nowhere, I might have the feeling God loves me. Or God is scary. This happens all on its own. Nobody around me is having some big, serious conversation about what I believe. I just have these random experiences in the back of my mind. Could that happen because I am some kind of empath?

Talk about discomfort, un-watered plants drive me crazy. I can practically hear them scream.

It bothers me when people mistreat machines, like computers or cars. Some people think nothing of forcing machines, kicking them, calling them names. This upsets me, even if I don’t own the machine and won’t have to pay for fixing it later.

Caring is the sign of an empath, isn’t it? When I always root for the underdog and cry when I watch movies, what kind of empath does that make me?

I’m really good at Emotional Intelligence. I can label anger, sadness, rage, happiness, etc., whether it belongs to me or not. Which empath ability makes me so good at this?

Dysfunctional patterns learned during childhood have caused me to anticipate what other people need.

Holding a crystal is magical for me; the same thing with precious gemstones. They take me on an energy ride, showing me different ways to be.

Body language tells me everything I need to know. Anyone talented like me finds it very easy to figure out from expression if somebody likes you, is a bad person, etc. In five seconds, I can learn everything that matters.

I’m just glad people wear different clothes from each other. Otherwise, I’d have a really hard time telling them apart.

Quiz Answers

1. I can catch another person’s mood as easily as if I’m catching a yawn.

YES, Emotional Oneness is my name for that gift. I’m delighted to learn that you are a fellow sufferer. Kidding about the suffering part. This is a wonderful empath gift, no weirder than any of the others. With all empath gifts, once you get skills you can help other people elegantly. (And without suffering.)

2. Although I don’t feel other people’s feelings, I sure know what those feelings are. For instance, I might know that the other person is lying, or clueless, or feeling five different things all at once.

YES, you have Emotional Intuition, a gift for appreciating people’s emotions at a distance. Ever wonder how people can get away with lying to others about emotions? Not everyone — not even every empath — has Emotional Intuition or Emotional Oneness.

3. Much of the time, I feel lost and alone, sometimes even miserable.

NO. Being an empath need not involve misery. Even being an unskilled empath doesn’t necessarily involve misery; it’s just that your life can improve a lot once you become skilled. Maybe this book will take you from pretty happy to outrageously happy.

By contrast, you could be miserable for reasons that have nothing at all to do with being an empath, like puberty or having a bad hair day.

4. I can always tell if a woman is promiscuous, even if she’s nicely dressed.

NO, sorry, this isn’t necessarily about being an empath, either. It could be a matter of psychological projection. If you specialize in noticing a particular kind of problem in others, you may have some unfinished business.

And if you are always running into people with a particular kind of sexual problem or anger management issues, control issues, narcissism, etc., I would definitely encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional.

5. When I hike in a forest and the trees or animals are suffering, I can feel it.

YES, you are an Environmental Empath if you notice the beauty or suffering — or just plain specialness — of a forest.

As this type of empath, you’ll feel quite different at the beach, in the desert, or pounding pavement in a big city. I don’t mean having varied experiences depending on whether you’re a news reporter or mortician but, rather, an inner quality that shifts.

Your thinking could be subtly different, or different environments could alter how you feel in your body, how you walk, or what you hear in the silence around you.

Also, YES, you are Animal Empath if sometimes you connect to the inner world of animals. This could happen with all God’s creatures or just one particular kind of animal, like ferrets.

Animal Empaths know that each animal or pet has a distinctive way to be. With this gift, you appreciate the animal’s experience on a deep level, like knowing when your favorite ferret is excited, frightened, or joyful. As an empath, you’re not just observing behavior from the outside but connecting intuitively to something deeper.

6. I might actually be part chameleon, because I talk differently with different people, using bigger words or smaller. I’ll give different examples, depending. Like when I’m with an artist, colors seem brighter. With a musician, I notice sounds more than usual.

YES, you have described the gift (and challenge) of being an Intellectual Empath. Intuitively you understand how different people think — not reading specific thoughts in their minds but sensing how to reach that person best. Until skilled, you may feel like a chameleon but, trust me, you are no reptile.

7. Back at catching things, I have been known to catch other people’s headaches or other physical symptoms. I guess I’m suggestible. Could I even be a hypochondriac?

YES, you are a Messy, Suggestible, Hypochondriacal Empath. Wait, that’s not my official name for this gift. Not at all. Instead I call it Physical Oneness. Once you are skilled, it’s a very valuable gift, being able to experience other people’s problems in your own body — just during the short duration of