Your Resource is Human: How empathetic leadership can help remote teams rise above

PRAISE FOR YOUR RESOURCE IS HUMAN

‘Now I’m ready. Melissa Romo’s book made me feel empowered and excited to tackle the next era of work. She combines the examples, advice and expertise of others with her own insights, stories and – most importantly – tools to be a better manager, leader, and person in the hybrid/remote world. I can’t wait to get going.’

Jeff Kreisler, Author of Dollars and Sense,

Head of Behavioral Science at JP Morgan Chase

‘Your Resource is Human is the book 21st-century leaders and followers have been pining for. The book celebrates the liberation of empathy with an approachable prose and functional usability for leaders and followers to move forward with success. It stretches the reader with comprehensions across the human experiences of remote employment, from the deepest psychologies of depression and guilt to bread-and-butter sociology such as diversity, equity, and inclusion, with all the pragmatism of humanity in between. It has a praxis in usability for success in leadership in the new normal of today that is sensible, practical, and, above all, humane.’

Morten G. Ender, PhD, Professor of Sociology,

Department of Behavioural Sciences and Leadership,

United States Military Academy, West Point

‘Remote and hybrid work has fundamentally disrupted what it means to be a leader, maybe more than anything ever before. Empathy was always important to a leader’s authenticity, but now it’s a superpower. Leaders: this book is your cape, tie it on!’

Shawn Kanungo, Innovation Strategist, Speaker,

and Bestselling Author of The Bold Ones

‘If you’ve ever wanted to get inside the brain of someone who manages a dispersed team… then make it Melissa Romo’s! Making remote work more human requires precisely the kind of real-world recommendations and diagnostic tools offered in this book.’

John Garrett, Author of What’s Your ‘And’?: Unlock the Person Within the Professional

‘As leaders, we navigate a world in which change is the only constant. Your Resource is Human proposes a way forward. With a blend of storytelling, interviews, and research, the book deconstructs the power of human leadership and offers a tactical playbook for cultivating shared humanity. Instead of simply urging us to embrace uncertainty, it offers an optimistic perspective: understanding how we feel and why allows us to reinstall hope within our teams, reboot the system, and reignite passion and creativity. For when we do this, we unlock infinite potential.’

Archana Mohan, Chief Operations and

Technology Officer, Veritas Investment Partners

‘We live in a disrupted world where the pace of change accelerates every single day. The world of work will never be the same again. This intelligent and well-thought-through book gives us a series of detailed insights into what this really means for leaders and how to harness the opportunities remote working brings. Succinct, personal, and informative, it is a must read for all of us interested in figuring out the future.’

James Bidwell, CEO of Springwise, Author of Disrupt!

100 Lessons in Business Innovation

‘Written by someone who has managed fully remote teams for more than ten years, Your Resource is Human is one of the first books that truly captures some of the challenges of building high-performing, distributed teams. Melissa’s hands-on experience serves as a great guide for those still learning how to manage in an ever-changing environment.’

Gabe Karp, Managing Director EMEA, 10up

‘This is the book we need at this moment! In the evolving world of the new normal, Melissa Romo helps us truly understand remote and hybrid work. With this in hand, leaders will be able to engage their organizations and unlock great value for both employees and employers.’

Laraine Miller, President, Americas Region and

General Manager, USA, ekaterra

‘Attention – leadership teams, boards of directors, and investors. If you are looking to differentiate your organization, grow faster than the market, and take share, then this is the book for you. Empathy is a superpower that has been diminished over the last twenty years and is now in high demand in modern remote/hybrid working environments. Melissa Romo delivers a masterclass in leading with empathy to deliver meaningful business outcomes for employees, customers, and partners. Importantly, this book delivers the HOW, not just the why, and will make you and your organizations better immediately.’

Abigail Maines, Chief Revenue Officer,

HiddenLayer and Co-Founder, fiercenow.org

‘Imagine you’re a bottle of ketchup!! I did not expect this in a book aimed at guiding me as a leader of people working remotely, but it’s these gems of wisdom, along with practical advice, that make this book essential for any leader of people working remotely. The book is so centered on humans being human, it gives you the real life of remote work and leading through it (it’s not some theoretical thesis). I love the way Melissa shares the five remote-ready leadership behaviors; they are so real and easy to implement!! This is a fantastic book!!’

Cathal Quinlan, Host of the Better@Work podcast

‘Your Resource is Human hit the spot in so many places, which is why I couldn’t put it down. The discussion starters are going to be my Holy Grail going forward. You hear so often how people talk about legacy and how you want to be remembered, that extra meeting you took, the scrutiny you put your team under when they missed their number, but this book reminds you: AT THE END OF YOUR CAREER, YOU WILL ONLY EVER REMEMBER THE PEOPLE. Having a framework to measure emotions for remote and hybrid workers like Depression and Guilt will help you address them as either an individual contributor or a manager. The book opens up a totally new perspective that people will find insightful, and it answers the question: So what do I do now? A must read for any aspiring leader.’

Sabby Gill, CEO, Dext

‘If you work remotely, and especially if you lead remote teams, read this. By perfectly combining insight into big thoughts – empathy, guilt, paranoia, joy – with super tactical advice, Melissa Romo gives us an effective way forward to transform remote work for ourselves and for our people. She helps us understand why we feel the way we do as remote workers and then equips us with the next right actions. Your Resource is Human is a practical, actionable roadmap to finding more joy, meaning, and connection at work for all workers.’

Rosa Sabater, President, Martellus LLC

‘Great to see a book that gives leaders a real insight into how to deal successfully with this tectonic plate shift to a world where remote work is an integral part of most organizations. Melissa Romo identifies the fears, emotions, and preconceptions, why they exist, and crucially provides a practical guide on how to lead with intent, integrity, and intelligence.’

John Riordan, Chairman, Grow Remote

‘Your Resource is Human is full of my favorite quality: nuance. Melissa Romo doesn’t simply outline a tactical playbook for creating a remote team, but rather she details key underlying emotions every person feels, especially when working remotely, explains how and why these emotions impact human behavior and thus organizational objectives, and describes specific leadership strategies that can help people feel joyful, motivated, and invested in their teams. Her research-based approach and her storytelling style offer a reliable and engaging blueprint for how leaders can empathetically speak directly with their people and build a culture of trust and transparency that is required for any remote or hybrid work environment to thrive.’

Amanda Doyle, Founder and Coach, Choose Better Thoughts

‘The way we think about work is evolving at speed. As leaders of people, our role in enabling a sense of belonging and connectedness in a hybrid world has never been more vital. Melissa Romo has captured the very essence, through personal experience, observation, and the development of tools and solutions, to reveal how leaders need to reframe their approach. This reframing will lead to a better-connected experience for teams and a better care of leaders themselves in this ever-evolving, complex pursuit we call work.’

Jason Rudman, Chief Customer Officer,

Finance of America Companies

‘From the first page, this book is engaging, honest, and necessary. Not only is Melissa Romo sharing candidly about her own personal and professional journey and verbalizing elegantly the challenges of many remote and hybrid leaders, but she also then gathers and presents many stories and evidence as further illustration. She provides a step-by-step guide for others, which is accessible, practical, and can be put into action straight away. From the self-reflection scans to the conversation starters to the extensive questionnaires, the book contains a wealth of constructive tools. If you truly want to connect with empathy with your team, this book will show you how.’

Rowena Hennigan, Remote Work Pioneer, LinkedIn

Top Voice and Instructor, Founder of RoRemote

‘As a remote manager both pre-pandemic and since then, I have often thought about the challenges and merits of engaging with remote teams. By way of her remote empathy scans and leadership blueprints, Melissa Romo has succinctly articulated issues of remote work that are frequently not discussed, and clear and effective means of identifying and addressing them as a leader. I found her specific tools very practical for my everyday engagements with my team, and her stories and anecdotes also made for a quick read. Kudos for bringing life to an important leadership topic that is all too often left out of leadership conversations!’

Colleen Crino, Chief Development Officer, IT industry

‘When the pandemic began, many of us were forced to change the way we conducted business – overnight. The decision to move to a remote work model didn’t have the benefit of months of planning, a scripted rollout with accompanying policies, and support, and, as such, almost every business and leader was making it up as they went along. Your Resource is Human provides frameworks and tools to help you maximize the performance of your team in a world where building trust and leading with empathy are keys to success.’

Andrew Bolton, SVP, Chief Customer Officer, Knotch

‘Melissa Romo names what we are all feeling but have not been able to express. Your Resource is Human is a must read for leaders who find themselves or their teams stuck with how to embrace remote and hybrid working arrangements. It provides a straightforward set of leadership behavior blueprints that identify five emotions that prevent people from doing their best work and offers specific solutions to create the conditions for people to thrive. The book is carefully researched and filled with relatable stories that paint a clear picture of this unique point in time and how much work is still needed to truly embrace our current work realities.’

Laura Schwarz, Founder of i2 Leadership, Host of Mojo Mondays Bootcamp Podcast

‘Your Resource is Human is full of intelligent and insightful reflections on the current reality of remote working. It not only provides managers with valuable insights to help them understand the potential pitfalls when leading remote – or dispersed – teams, but it is also a powerful and up-to-date manual for leaders. Read the book and you will feel much better equipped to support your teams as they face a new form of work that looks like it’s here to stay.’

Beatriz Martín-Luquero, HR Leader Latam, Merck & Co.

‘This book provides an important tool for leaders trying to figure out how to help their teams be successful in a world where remote working is here to stay. It details the new reality we’re leading teams through and expands on this framework with assessment tools and solutions that will help folks deliver authentic, empathic leadership to their teams.’

Jimm Bell, Co-Founder, Fidem Financial

‘Today’s leaders are redefining where we work and how we work all around the world. There is no blueprint, no one-size-fits-all, yet this inflection point of change will be felt by all generations to follow. Your Resource is Human lays out how to lead high performing teams, build trust, and inspire the best in people, all while giving them flexibility and choice.’

Amy Tomlinson, Employee Experience and

Virtual Workspace Expert

‘I knew this was going to be a helpful book to put into the world, but I was not prepared for the journey Melissa took me on. She acknowledges and explains the visceral feelings of Loneliness, Guilt, Boredom, Paranoia, and Depression. Melissa reminds us that to experience these feelings is to be human and that we can connect with each other on a deeper level when we see these feelings in others and support them to be able to thrive at work.’

Chaya Mistry, Founder and Director, Humanly Consulting

‘In an age where management by wandering around is no longer possible, Your Resource Is Human offers a beacon of clarity for leaders managing people. Melissa’s framework gives a powerful simple blueprint that decodes the leadership behaviors that are really important. It’s time to put the human back at the heart of the workplace – and this brilliant gem of a book shows us exactly how.’

Sarah Lloyd-Hughes, Founder and CEO of Ginger

Leadership Communications and Author of How to be

Brilliant at Public Speaking

‘Essential reading for every single leader! Whether leading remotely or in a hybrid way is new to you or not, you will learn something from Melissa Romo. What I love most about the book is that it is so practical with diagnostics and route maps to help you make improvements, but it also gets to the heart of the matter. An aspect of leadership is to pay attention to the emotions that our colleagues experience and respond with empathy. Thank you, Melissa Romo, for showing us how.’

Jenny Garrett OBE, Founder, Executive Coach

and Leadership Trainer

First published in Great Britain by Practical Inspiration Publishing, 2023

© Melissa Romo, 2023

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

ISBN  9781788603942 (print)

9781788603966 (epub)

9781788603959 (mobi)

All rights reserved. This book, or any portion thereof, may not be reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologizes for any errors or omissions and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.

Want to bulk-buy copies of this book for your team and colleagues? We can customize the content and co-brand Your Resource is Human to suit your business’s needs.

Please email [email protected] for more details.

To my parents, Rusty and Liz Tomlinson – two extraordinary humans.

And in memory of my teacher, Sigal Barsade,

who taught us that emotions have a place at work.

‘Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look

through each other’s eyes for an instant?’

– Walden, Henry David Thoreau

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

1. Between one work world and the next

Part One: Remote work’s five emotional pitfalls

Diagnostic: Remote work Emotions and Mindset Questionnaire™ (EMQ)

2. Boredom: How home office monotony leads to ‘boreout’

3. Depression: How personal crises make working alone a special challenge

4. Guilt: How we punish ourselves amid the blurred boundaries of home and office

5. Paranoia: How we fear being ‘out of sight, out of mind’

6. Loneliness: How remote work challenges our human need for connection

Part Two: The five remote-ready leadership behavior blueprints

The Remote Leadership Wheel™

Diagnostic: Your leadership Remote-Ready Rating™ (3 Rs)

7. Leadership behavior blueprint #1: Checking in

8. Leadership behavior blueprint #2: Communicating with optimism

9. Leadership behavior blueprint #3: Building trust

10. Leadership behavior blueprint #4: Setting boundaries

11. Leadership behavior blueprint #5: Managing performance

Conclusion

Resource I: Remote work empathy scans

Resource II: Discussion starters

Resource III: Leadership behavior blueprints

Appendix A: Low carbon strategies for remote work

Appendix B: Diversity and inclusion considerations for remote work

Acknowledgments

Bibliography

Index

About the author

FOREWORD

In 2009, I was excited and curious about how people were using the emerging online tools to collaborate remotely. I disliked working in an office myself, and I wanted to understand what kinds of companies were working remotely, how they were doing it, and how I