The Curse of Online Poker

Dedication

In memory of the great Doyle Dolly Brunson (RIP) who inspired me to get better at the game.

Introduction

Let me get this straight, from the very start. This book will not teach you how to play poker. It will not teach you how to win at poker. It will not enable you to become rich via the myriad of people logged onto online poker sites who readily give their hard-earned readies away. It will not make you the star of your pub poker tournament league nor will it make you a king of the tables in your local casino. There are plenty of other books that will teach you how to play and win. Some of which I recommend will be listed later.

This book will, however, tell you of my experience with poker, online mostly, and of the terrible ups and downs. It will be one-hundred percent honest. It will also cover my experience of gambling, in a variety of forms, but mostly it’ll be about my relationship with playing poker.

But wait! I hear you yell, I don’t want to hear about your miserable experiences!

Quite right too, I say. So, why buy this book? Why read it? Simply, it’s to put your perspectives and aspiration on your attempts of being another great, record-breaking, money-making, poker player into sharp focus.

This book may help you become a better player. But, in the wide world of online and bricks and mortar poker, will that make a difference?

It may help you understand why people do the things they do online that they would never do in live play.

It may help you become less tilted when that moron calls you with 7-2 off suit on PokerStars, or whatever site it is you play at, and always catches his miracle outer (13% chance to do so – approximately) to dust your pocket rockets (Two aces as your hole cards) down and bust you out of the tourney.

I’ve been at the highs and lows of poker, both online and off and in front of the table and behind it, for several years. Believe me, there’s very little that I haven’t seen. Want some history? Want some facts? Okay, let’s continue...

A Long Time Ago…

I’ve played cards casually since I was old enough to hold the cards in my hands. I’ve played, amongst others, rummy, fish, snap, blackjack, 21, cribbage and poker over the years.

All the above were played with pennies or matchsticks or paperclips during my childhood.

Poker was played primarily when I was a little older – most notably in my late teenage years when I had money and with friends. I would usually play for ten or twenty pence stakes with some mates. We would get together and play, drink, eat and be merry for an evening around a given host’s home. It was not big money, but it was fun. A social gathering and a chance to be ourselves and take the piss out of each other without offending our girlfriends or wives. I would play with friends, Alan, Sean, Paddy and Clive and the game was variable but was always a version of poker. Except, after the poker was finished, when other games would creep into the mix – a bit more about that in a while.

Paddy and Sean heralded from Northern Ireland. I met Sean when I moved into a house in Portsmouth which he rented and shared with his then girlfriend, Kim. Sean’s last name is Welsh. It used to make us laugh that Sean was a guy from Ireland, with a surname of Welsh, who just happened to be living in Cardiff Road in Portsmouth, here in England.

Sean introduced me to Paddy, Clive and Alan. They all worked at IBM’s headquarters based in North Harbour just on the outskirts of Portsmouth. We got to know each other very well due to us all attending pub quizzes, parties, or just taking part in a pub crawl from time to time.

Sean, for a long time, was my drinking buddy and I all but lived in his house once he moved from the shared house and bought his own house in the road next door once Kim became pregnant.

Paddy lived in Portsmouth for a while, but eventually moved to London, shortly after, or at about the same time, as Clive did. Paddy was a large built Irish-centric guy who drank cider in copious quantities and who used to gamble on the horses a lot. Though he never seemed to win very much. Clive was a gambler too but, in my perception anyway, looked to have more of an eye for the winners. He also played the stock-market too. Sean would have the occasional bet on the horses, usually when we were at the race meetings themselves.

Alan still lives in Portsmouth. We would meet up regularly to partake in a local pub-quiz (gambling, I suppose, of a more sedate nature). I would say that Alan tends to be a much more conservative gambler. He will have a punt on a multiple in the form of selecting the winners of several football leagues. It keeps his interest in the game for just a few pounds and he has won based on his selections of anticipated champions and relegations.

With all of us being typical gamblers, no-one ever truly admitted to the extent of the gains or, more likely, their losses.

And then there is me. I love to gamble. It is as simple as that. Over time, I have spent considerable sums of money by playing the Lottery, Horses, Dogs (Greyhound racing), Cards, Oscar predictions, Slots, Bingo, Scratch-cards, Roulette, Craps, Blackjack, Raffles, Backgammon, and, of course, Poker. There is not much I have not bet on.

Of course, when I lose, I hate it and question myself over my losses and even tell, or scold, myself by commenting in my head about some other worthwhile thing or event I could have spent the money I have just given to Mr. William Hill or Ladbrokes on:

That would’ve paid for that bike you wanted.

You could have gone on holiday with that money.

You could have paid off some debts with that.

A friend of mine, who is a hypnotherapist, recently asked why I gamble. I guess I am always looking for that one big win. I am always holding out hope that my small stakes will turn into a life-changing sum of money. He commented that most people who gamble do not have an addiction though this is frequently blamed for why people lose so much and why there are organisations such as Gamblers Anonymous and Gamble Aware (http://www.gambleaware.co.uk/). These