Psalms of Bliss

Copyright © 2023 by Edwin A. Hill.

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Rev. date: 12/06/2023

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Contents

Opening

Acknowledgments

Recognition

Prelude

Foreword

Introduction

PART I    Psalms of Our Mothers

A Higher View

For What Reason Were You Born?

A Touch From You

Gentle Touch

How He Died

On High

The Tree of Life

His Hands Touched Me

Soliloquy and Letters

PART II    Psalms of Tears

Trust & Respect

Let Me In

Twelve

Renewal

In Retrospect

It Wasn’t Cheap

Leap for Joy

I Can Win

Smile A While

Why We Celebrate Thanksgiving

Soliloquy

PART III    Augusta’s Songs

Crown of Thorns

Starting Over

Through Something to Do Something

Stranger

His Face

Your Word

When All Is Said and Done

Let Go?

Hope For

His Story

The Sun Comes Up

Where Were You?

Witness

His Word

Soliloquy

PART IV    Our Brother’s Songs

That Old Brick Porch

Bring Peace To My Mother

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Recognize Your Brothers

One Battle

Victory

I Fret For You

I’ll Be There

One with the Father

Understand Why?

Why Get Involved In Other People’s Life?

Why Not Surrender All?

Busy

Over and Over

Soliloquy and Letters

PART V    Psalms of Love

Love of a Different Kind

Beautiful

Together Unified

Left Alone

Touch Me

Flowing

Be Mine

In Our Secret Garden

How Do You Love Me?

Soliloquy and Letters

PART VI    Psalms for Our Children

Children

What About the Children

Save the Children

Go to School

Claim It

Soliloquy and Letters

PART VII    Psalms of Our Fears

Safe and Secure in Thee

Good God Almighty

Sick of Sickness

Last Breath

Like A Dog

If You Passed Away

We Put Out the Light

Fears, Tears & Love

The Hero

Soliloquy

PART VIII    Psalms for Today

Choose This Day

Smile A While

Let It Go

The Sun Comes Up

Angry Lips

Judged

Tell-A-Vision

Figure It Out

O Lord

Not the End

I’ll Be There

One with the Father

Soliloquy

PART IX    Conclusions

Psalms of Bliss Genealogy

Postlude

About the Author

If thy children will keep my covenant and my testimony that I shall teach them, their children shall also sit upon thy throne for evermore. Psalms 132:12

Opening

Each night my rest is disturbed by the pain radiating up and down my legs as I try to sleep. Each twinge, every surge of discomfort from the tips of my toes to my thighs cuts into my flesh again and again as I toss and turn in search of illusive rest. Rest, rest has become much of a mystery. The old familiar awakening by the sounds of my own snores is long gone to me. My body turns from left to right in search of comfort for my knees as they knock at one another. A small pillow thrust between my legs provides only brief and modest relief from bone upon bone.

Still, I search for comfort somewhere in it all. Psalms, hymns and songs come to my heart in a quest to soothe my fears. My eyes reflect across the vision of the smiles of my children and grandchildren as a balm for my pains. These faces, their voices like angels in chorus from above, calm my aches and kiss away the shadows of fear that pursue me.

The heart of this man, his mind and body longs for love’s touch. It yearns to feel the touch of love fulfilled in an earnest smile, a warm embrace and a kiss that says you are safe.

After all I’ve done, after all that I’ve been through, the Psalms of ages past drip from my lips as Why me Lord?, is this my reward…?, is this my story..?, is this my song..? is this my Psalm..?

I lie there and struggle to sleep in judgment of myself and those around me.

Armed with indignation, all of my passions have become my prisons. I am locked in my love for my offspring, the joy of my life. My love and desire for my wife, her love, attention and the life we said we’d share, has held me locked, even jailed alone behind open doors. My eyes have become blind to the truth and my lips struggle for the freedom that stands before me. So, my hands sing for me in these written words, these Psalms.

…I now declare …no more. I have done all that I can as man alone. Now, I will stand free and firm. I am free, free in thee Oh Lord. Lord God, please order my steps and help me to stand. Peace, let me be still.

I will invite the Psalms and songs of love and peace to become my anthems in this march called life. No more shall I look for love and comfort other than unto the bosom of the Lord my God. I will suffer the slings and arrows, even the sharp sword’s blade in pursuit of the destinies set before me, me alone.

My call, my walk, by God’s grace and mercy is my quest.

While my bones can yet stand, while my feet can yet trod, while my eyes still see and my voice yet be heard, I will follow the will of God. I am ripping away the shackles of fear. I am drying my tears. I am dedicated anew to stand and not surrender to the things of this earth. I will sing psalms and write tales, I will tell my story. I will share the thoughts and express my feelings in earnest as I am moved by the voice of God, looking for nothing in return.

Pain has entered my backdoor and may never leave. Death has entered into my mind again and again. Fear has tossed me and turned my every bone. My tears have flowed and flowed. Yet, my hope stands.

Hope, my hope is in the Lord God almighty, who has carried me thus far. Like upon the flying wings of angels, I have soared high above my wildest dreams. My life’s peaks and valleys are unique to me, yet there are common threads for mankind of every sort. I shall seek first the kingdom of God. He will hear my call. He has heard my cry.

I cry out, My father God, why me? Comfort me Oh Lord is my plea as I lie here before thee in pain with my heart in agony. My Lord, whisper psalms of love and joy into my heart’s ears.

Please Lord, preserve my sight that I might continue along my journey and look upon the faces of those that love me. Yes Lord, I need thee. Yes, I need thee Lord every hour. My Lord, I pray and I thank you as you stand, a pillar, for me to lean upon. You are my foundation. All that I am comes from you. My treasure lies in your love for me. In spite of my sins you have rescued and blessed me. Your bosom has been my only resting place and comfort in good times and the bad.

I look to thee oh Lord, for there is no other place from which my help can come.

Little did I know that my Grand Uncle before me, Lee Pullen had cried similar tears.

My cry for tomorrow is that my steps be ordered by the Lord. I will seek His guidance and direction for the life He yet affords me. Speak to my heart Oh Lord. Lead me, guide me along the path you select. Please cover me I pray, from the slings and arrows that will surely come my way.

My heart is attuned to your whispers and seeks your voice. Speak to my heart Oh Lord. Let my ears hear the sweet, sweet echoes of your voice falling upon them. The songbirds call your name each morning as I rise. Use me Oh Lord as your voice; let me be your songbird in the ears of humankind. Let me Oh Lord be a vessel for your Psalms. I fall upon your grace and mercy with my hands out-stretched. I bend my knees while I yet can, in reverence to you. I humble myself before you as I ask that you strengthen me before man. I seek strength that I might be a soldier in your Army. I seek strength that my life might be a banner on the battlefields of life in this day. Cover me, Oh Lord I pray. My Lord, my rock and my shield, who can stand between thee and me? None. No, not one.

I need thee Oh Lord.

You have been the source of my life. From whence have I come to this place in my being? Where does it all come from? Where shall it yet lead?

On October 28, 2003 Frances, the author’s mother wrote to him on the occasion of his 52nd birthday.

She often used a ruler to order each horizontal line of her hand written letters. Her goal was to ensure clarity and the legibility of her message.

Edwin, I thank God for how he alone has blessed you all the days of your life, 52 years and nine months after conception, to be who you are. Ephesians 1:4 says he has chosen us before the foundation of the world.

A loving and obedient son, Ephesians 6:1-3

A son with a desire to be prosperous.

A son who has studied hard to learn

A son who has resisted worldly sins

A son who chose a wife so his babies would know who their daddy is without DNA tests.

A son (who) is one of the best fleshly fathers

A son who was and is a very loving and caring husband always.

A son who as a young father accepted Jesus Matthews 11:28 and took his babies to prayer meetings and church

A son who works faithfully worshiping, praising, and telling of God’s great power to save and heal.

A son who has received a Distinguished Alumnus Award from I.S.U. Go son go. Continue daily praising God and having favor with all people. Acts 10:46a, 47a.

Ed, I wrote all this to say, thanks for the gift, $60.00 left, 10-19-03. I was so thankful. I thought of all the years I worked a week, five days, and got paid less. One of my pay (checks) in 1961. Now I have no lack. Acts 2:34

We are receiving God’s promised blessings.

B-Blessed is God

L-Love He gave His son

E-Eternal life from His son

S-Salvation for all

S-Serve others

E-Everywhere

D-Daily

Love you,

Thank you,

Your mother

Frances Hill

His mother’s words were like a kiss upon his cheek and in his heart that lasts beyond her physical death in 2008.

Ten years after his mother wrote to him about Ephesians 1 and how God … has chosen us before the foundation of the world, Ed writes to the church at Terre Haute, Indiana on predestination.

SHILOH BAPTIST CHURCH

TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA

2013

To: Pastor Russell and the Church Family at Terre Haute, IN

From: Deacon Ed Hill

August 20, 2013

My thoughts, prayers and tears are not wasted as I meditate on my destiny and the why of GOD’s guidance to visit upon you over a year ago now. Grace and peace be with You ALL.

My heart was touched by a call from our Sister Betty Russell this morning. That call, that touch, moved me to cleansing and comforting tears. These TEARS continue to wash over me as I write this letter to you ALL. I tried to run from this task, but the Holy Spirit said, NO. Say it son. As I sat at my table today, I had been juggling the pains of Influenza in my chest and sinuses, against the chores of boxing and removing personal items from the walls of my home as we prepare to sell it. This place, this Home that the Lord my GOD led me to construct in 1998 has been a safe resting place that has filled it’s role. It’s job has been well done for 15 years. This House has been a safe haven from the evil one’s threats. This House has been faithful, upheld me and covered me by God’s grace. We built this Home literally on the Foundation of the Word of GOD planted in a bed of concrete ...called the Front Porch. This place, this House was constructed for GOD’s purposes and has served Him well.

In This House, the Holy Spirit of GOD has rested upon Me, held me in my stormy battles with cancer. This House has covered and comforted me as my body has healed. This house, this place, has been a safe haven for me as the Lord GOD has both used me and shaped me for His Service. This place has been my home. It is a bitter cup to drink from as my wife and I plan our transition to smaller Homes, here and in Texas. I’ve come to embrace the fundamental responsibility to avoid wasting the blessings that God has provided. A large house, over 5,000 sq. ft. ...is so, so much more than two people need. Yes, at Holidays and some birthdays, the walls overflow with 8 to 12 grandchildren full of loving energy. Yet, 10 months of empty space requires resources, funds, energy and time that can be employed for higher purposes of our GOD. Oh yes, it is bitter sweet. The gist of it, embracing the reality of it, has slowly taken root for both of us in God’s timing I trust. Me first, now just yesterday, my wife, Brenda has leaped onto the wagon of God’s mission to the next phase of His will for us.

Please, bear with me as I try to bring this message full circle, including each one of YOU individually.

Little did I know, as I obeyed the whispers of the Holy Spirit to come visit with you over a year ago, that it was predestined. Little did I know that back in 1969 when God made a way through the efforts of my loving Mother, that enrolling at Indiana State University in Terre Haute, Indiana was predestined. Little did I know, as a little nappy headed baby brother watching and learning how to draw and paint, I was predestined by God to come to Terre Haute. Little did I know then, at 17 years old that I was predestined to be at ISU. It could have been Ball State in Muncie, Indiana or the Art Institute of Chicago. But, Terre Haute was His will.

His calling me to Your Church that Sunday, was predestined for His will and desires for Your Church. No, not for what was before, but, what is then, now and the future. He called me to you for His will, your destiny as a Church, predestined for each of you. These words are for you. I implore you to receive these words, from my heart onto this paper, as an urging to step into the destiny He has waiting for each one of you and for Your Church. Allow the Holy Spirit of God to use you as well. Serve Him in everything you do from the LOVE He has placed in you. Trust Him and obey Him as you read His word, pray and meditate on His will. Trust that He has a destiny awaiting you, yes, even NOW, his predestined plan is playing-out before each of you.

God wants all of us to be His Child. You know, like that Only Child, that Son, like His Father, full of love, even to the point of sacrifice and death. Children are to be obedient to their Father. So should we. His voice of instruction is in His written WORD and the leading whispers of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. I say all this to encourage each and every one of you to look up and over your own shoulders. Look into your own heart. Ask the question, Lord what is your will in my life? What is my destiny? Ask, What have you Lord, already predestined for my life? Your decisions regarding the Building Project is only one predestined opportunity before you. I remind you that this relationship with one another, with me and this Building Project was predestined. That destiny may precede even me, even You. Maybe it was imbedded in the prayers of one of your ancestors over decades past. Should God will, there are likely many more predestined blessings yet to come. Please don’t allow the decisions around the Building Project get in the way of the streams of your destiny. What a loss for all that allow self or selfishness to block the blessings predestined by God. We have no way of knowing except to embrace God’s blessings, pray and embrace them for His edification.

I am writing long because this is also a learning experience for me. I ask that you join me in prayer, meditation and in reading the Word of God as it relates to every situation. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Church at Ephesus on the subject of Spiritual Blessings. I urge you to read his inspired words below. As I end this writing, I ask God’s continued blessings upon you individually and collectively. I pray that we will all come together on that great gettin’ up morning, free in victory over all the earthly things we’ve wrestled with. I look forward to standing with you all in the blessed assurance of the full grace and mercy of God in heaven as we sing together... Great Is Thy Faithfulness. If you don’t mind, save me a little space for a Solo.

Yours in Christ Jesus,

Edwin Arnold Hill

Your Friend and Brother in the Spirit

Ephesian 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus:

2 Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings