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Starting HIV treatment can be overwhelming, especially when you’re sitting across from a doctor, unsure of what to say. In Plus’ The Talk, individuals living with HIV open up about their first conversations with health care providers, offering real-world advice, reassurance and honesty. From must-ask questions to knowing your boundaries, The Talk is a guide to feeling seen, heard and empowered from the very first appointment.
This season, Plus sits down with Project Lazarus Executive Director Ian Bicko, entrepreneur and advocate Tatania Riley, public health specialist Elena Linas, and dancer Danny Ochoa to reflect on the early stages of their care journeys.
In this episode, they break down what it means to advocate for yourself, ask the right questions and build confidence in your treatment plan.
For Linas, an unexpected diagnosis came with more questions than answers.
“When I first got diagnosed, I really had no idea what to do,” she said. “My gynecologist really didn’t know either.”
Learning about U=U — undetectable equals untransmittable — became a pivotal moment in how she approached her relationship and health.
“U=U works,” said Linas, who was previously married to an HIV-negative partner for 10 years. “I was always undetectable and he never got HIV from me.”
She also spoke candidly about how cultural dynamics shaped her early decisions around disclosure.
“As a Latina, I knew my mom was going to go tell all of her sisters,” she said. “It’s just not information I wanted people to know about, especially during the early years of my diagnosis.”
Still, Linas emphasized the importance of open dialogue with providers.
“I have had a lot of people who are newly diagnosed be really worried,” she said. “I say, darling, do not worry. If you have side effects, there are things we can do.”
For Riley, establishing routines became a form of self-respect and accountability.
“If you can set up that time to get up to go to work and do everything else, you can set that time to make yourself, your life, a priority,” she said.
Over time, Riley also became a fierce advocate for her own care — especially when it came to switching medications.
“I recently changed medications and I forced my opinion with my doctor for almost about a year,” she said. “When leaving the doctor’s office that day, my medications were switched.”
To stay on top of her health, Riley uses her phone to track symptoms and questions before each appointment.
“Just writing down anything makes a big difference,” she said.
From setting reminders to setting boundaries, these conversations reveal not only how people living with HIV survive — but how they thrive. The message is clear: treatment works, community matters, and your voice belongs at the center of your care.
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