The Onion’s cover photo
The Onion

The Onion

Online Media

Chicago, IL 47,068 followers

America's Finest News Source

About us

The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising from its humble beginnings as a print newspaper in 1756, The Onion now enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history.

Industry
Online Media
Company size
11-50 employees
Headquarters
Chicago, IL
Type
Privately Held
Founded
1988
Specialties
Digital Media, Satire, Pop Culture, Native Advertising, and Video Production

Locations

Employees at The Onion

Updates

  • The Onion reposted this

    Intersections are dangerous places. You would not, for example, build your home in the middle of an intersection—unless you wanted to rebuild it every 90 seconds. You also wouldn't eat at a restaurant with oncoming traffic plowing through your booth, nor would you patronize a local business that keeps getting demolished by semis. You certainly wouldn't send your kids, even your least favorite, to a school built in an intersection. So why would you build an agency at the intersection of creative and strategy? It makes no sense. Yet too many agencies do exactly that, bragging about how they’re positioned at the intersection of marketing and innovation, or the intersection of purpose and profit, or the intersection of mission-driven decision-making and results-based implementation. It has to stop. But it only stops when we all take a stand. The time has come for agencies everywhere to come together and declare that **nothing** should be built in an intersection. The stakes are too high, the risks too great. Join us in our call for keeping everyone out of harm’s way and off the streets. #NoMoreIntersections

  • The Onion reposted this

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE THE ONION LAUNCHES AMERICA’S FINEST CREATIVE AGENCY IN FORAY INTO ADVERTISING Iconic News Outlet To Eagerly Embrace Additional Revenue Stream CHICAGO, May 16, 2025—In an effort to expand its marketplace dominance beyond its existing journalism empire, The Onion announced today the launch of its in-house advertising venture, America’s Finest Creative Agency (AFCA). “We’re leveraging the considerable talents of the Onion staff in the service of creative marketing,” said Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce Tetraeder, who noted that nothing—not spouses, not children, not fragile elderly parents—matters more to The Onion’s parent company than helping brands tell their stories and being unspeakably compensated for it. “It’s a perfect symbiotic relationship between companies willing to pay anything to succeed and writers willing to say anything to survive,” added Tetraeder. The new agency, whose name is inspired by The Onion‘s slogan, “America’s Finest News Source,” will enable clients to enlist Onion writers for their own creative projects, collaborating on strategy, concepting, big ideas, and, of course, copywriting. It’s a unique opportunity for brand managers to tap into these writers’ renowned skill set, and Tetraeder said clients are invited to be as ruthlessly demanding as they’d like. With calls, emails, and telegrams already flooding in, America’s Finest Creative Agency has decided to process RFPs in order of each partner’s ability to pay the outrageous retainer fee. “Ideas are miraculous things, at once powerful and precious,” added Tetraeder. “And we can’t wait to slap them onto bus shelter ads for our clients.”

  • If you've ever found yourself delighting in the pages of The Onion and thought "I wish there were a way to ruthlessly exploit those writers for the purposes of my brand," then today is a very good day. Announcing America's Finest Creative Agency, the advertising arm of The Onion, ready now for all your copy, content, and strategy needs. https://lnkd.in/gEqQ9y2u

  • View organization page for The Onion

    47,068 followers

    Here's Why I Decided To Buy 'InfoWars' Via our parent company Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce Tetraeder: Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice. All told, the decision to acquire InfoWars was an easy one for the Global Tetrahedron executive board. Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon. Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron. No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars. Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over. What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories. As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal. All will be revealed in due time. For now, let’s enjoy this win and toast to the continued consolidation of power and capital. Infinite Growth Forever, Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO

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  • View organization page for The Onion

    47,068 followers

    For months, our editorial board has agonized over this momentous decision. Initially, we’d hoped to publish our endorsement on June 27, 2024, in the hours after Joe Biden’s first televised debate against Donald Trump. Then, we’d hoped to publish it a few days later, following Biden’s highly anticipated July 5 interview with George Stephanopoulos. Now, we are finally doing what we should have done months ago: Buck tradition, put our reputation on the line, and take a position that The New York Times, The Washington Post, and other so-called “papers of record” are too cowardly to even consider this late in the election. Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.  Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards, but he’s packed a lot into 81 short years. He’s fought hard for working Americans, be they on the factory line or on the board of Blackstone Group. He’s stood up to everyone who threatened this great nation, from Vladimir Putin to Anita Hill. And he supports women and minorities, based on that seemingly random lady he chose to be his vice president. And so The Onion humbly requests that on Nov. 5 you remember our editorial board’s courageous, measured, and well-reasoned endorsement of Joseph R. Biden. But if, for some incomprehensible reason, this fails to resonate with the American public, we will be proud to endorse Asa Hutchinson as a backup.

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