Founder @Skooc | Ex-GE/IBM/HP Leader → Mental Health Entrepreneur: Transforming Mental Health Access for Families & Organizations | 27+ Years Leadership | Pediatric-Adult Solutions | B2C • B2B • Schools
I forgot my daughter’s name mid-sentence. Only for three seconds, but in that moment, I felt something I hadn’t felt in years: genuine fear about my own competence. I’ve always done crossword puzzles and Sudoku. But lately, I’ve become obsessive. Two puzzles a day. Sometimes three. As if I could force my brain back into its former sharpness. Because words were disappearing on me. I’d be mid-conversation, and the exact word I needed would vanish. I could feel it hovering just out of reach. Right at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t grab it. I’d fumble, use three words where one perfect word should be. I’d read entire reports and retain nothing. Walk into rooms and forget why. Lose my train of thought mid-sentence. This wasn’t just stress or aging. These cognitive symptoms were directly linked to perimenopause. And they’re happening to nearly half of all women going through this transition. During perimenopause, estrogen doesn’t just regulate your cycle; it protects memory formation. When estrogen drops during perimenopause, the regions responsible for memory and language processing receive reduced blood flow and glucose. The result? Measurable impairment in verbal memory, working memory, processing speed, and attention. Between 44% and 62% of women experience these specific deficits. And it’s happening at our professional peak. As we enter leadership roles and guide our kids through critical years, these should be our most impactful years. Instead, we’re struggling to find basic words in meetings, wondering if we’re becoming incompetent. Two-thirds of working women report measurable work impacts. Some leave careers entirely, right when they should be leading. What changed everything for me was understanding that it’s temporary. For most women, these deficits resolve after menopause. The fog lifts. Here’s what I’m actually doing: • Sleeping a full eight hours, sometimes nine if I need to. • Exercising regularly, both cardio and strength, in a planned, structured, sustainable way. • Exploring hormone therapy options with my OB-GYN. • Keeping my brain engaged. Everyone around me is subjected to the articles I read, followed by a long debate. But most importantly, talking about it. Naming it. Telling people when I need help. I still panic…it's an unnerving experience. But I'm not declining. I don't know about transitions and evolution, this certainly doesn't feel like progress. I am, however, talking about it. At length. God forbid I stop talking for lack of words.
Your article is honest and powerful. One thing that is missed is high insulin levels or hyperinsulinemia which quietly affects both the brain and hormones. More than 60% of people are insulin resistant. ( failure of Randel cycle, where body fails to shift between carbs and fat) During menopause, as estrogen drops, and adding to this is if the person is insulin resistant, brain doesn’t get enough energy causing brain fog, tiredness, and memory loss that people mistake for aging. The good news is, things can improve. Intermittent fasting, cutting down carbs at least for one meal, and regular exercise help bring insulin back to normal. When that happens, focus, energy, and mood return. Menopause isn’t decline it’s the body asking for better balance. Just for a fact, many illness like T2D, obesity etc where remission is possible for everyone
Thank you for talking about this, Devi Mani We need more conversations like this to normalize these experiences and reduce stigma.
... and here I thought that it was only I !
Also - been there! Brain fog can't be explained, it has to be experienced and sadly, I have ! Just started a small and intentional community of people in the mid life slump who are helping each other build better habits. In case you would like to join us... https://chat.whatsapp.com/HxFKPQmbyhCEBjVYNR84kH
This happens to me and plays into my biggest fear of aging with dementia! Only when I read up about peri-menopause and how early it hits, did I realise that our bodies are mad.
The biggest learning for me was that "this is temporary and let it pass". Over time it was magical to be my old self again. I am happy that I did not succumb to "discovering ailments" that require treatment. Nature has its process and it is important to trust it.
This really stayed with me. The fear, the fog, and the self-doubt — all so real and yet so hidden in our everyday leadership journeys. Thank you Devi Mani for bringing light to it. Talking about it openly is exactly what helps the rest of us find perspective and compassion.
Devi Mani Beautifully written. Many feel this but seldom speak up. To younger women: care for your health sooner, move, exercise, and listen to your body. Strength starts with self-awareness and self-care. You do you!!
I can't thank you enough for talking about this openly, Devi Mani !! Like a few others have said, I have been experiencing this a lot lately and thinking it's just me, and consumed with self-doubt and low confidence. "Some leave careers entirely, exactly when they should be leading"....THIS is the irony!
A biological shift no one designs for and society continues to ignore! My key takeaways : prioritise health, keep brain engaged and sleep to keep the brain fog out!