CEO of Koru Kids | Follow for daily posts on parenting and work life | Ex-McKinsey, Rhodes Scholar, Oxford DPhil | 👶 3x Mum
ANYONE can have a spotless, beautiful home - as long as having a spotless, beautiful home is one of their top three priorities. ANYONE can be in amazing shape - as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities. When I first heard this framing (which is obviously a generalisation and simplification!), I found it incredibly helpful. We all have tendencies towards jealousy and self-comparison. It's normal and human. But when you feel envious of someone's spotless, beautiful home, does it help to say to yourself: "Having a spotless, beautiful home is probably one of their top three priorities. It's definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn't expect my home to look like that.” When you see an influencer with a body that takes a tonne of work to maintain, does it help to say to yourself: "Maintaining that body is obviously one of their top three priorities because it's their livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I'm never going to prioritise my body like that.” The framing (credit: Hank Green!) also helps me to identify areas that I actually do want to prioritise, like making my business Koru Kids the very best it can be, welcoming my friends into my home, always being around for my kids when they need me. Just a thought to keep swishing around in your brain. What do you reckon? 🔄 Repost to share with your network, and follow Rachel Carrell for more like this. You can also find my all-time most-shared parenting posts at https://lnkd.in/eDfkiPc6
My kickboxing coach was preparing for a world title fight (relentless training, strict diet, losing lots of weight etc) and I heard someone tell him he looked amazing to which he replied "No one who looks like this is happy." 😳 Really stuck with me and I always think of it when I get gym envy
This is such a great way to think about it Rachel. I think 2 good follow up questions to ask yourself would be: - Do I FEEL like this is a priority for me? - Do I ACT like this is a priority for me? If it's a "no" to both then by all means don't make it your focus. For you it's a nice-to-have. But if it's a "yes" to the first and a "no" to the second then that should prompt you to do something about it...
Rachel Carrell Brilliant way to reframe envy into awareness. What’s interesting is how identifying your top three priorities instantly simplifies a hundred micro-decisions.
Interesting perspective and around the spotless home I think this prioritisation message very helpful. The fact that our health is usually not in our top 3 priorities I feel is why so many of us struggle with low energy, disease, low self esteem, burnout etc. Without health, our other top priorities, e.g. business, friends and kids will eventually be something we can't enjoy. I think that top priorities can be in cycles. E.g health is constant...but friends, kids and business can all have their moments. By the hour, by the day, by the week, or by the month for example. I was having a conversation today with Sophia Hodges today about energy optimisation and systems. Once we have good systems in place (because we prioritised putting them in place), the priority can still be high but the effort can be low, making more time and energy for other things we want to prioritise too. What do you think? Do you have solid health systems that allows you to feel it doesn't have to be a front of mind, constantly moving priority?
This post made me remember this exchange with my son Rachel Carrell Me: "How was going over to friend's house?" Son: "Friend is rich." Me: "Interesting. Why do you think that?" Son: "They don't have toys all over the floor like we do." 🤣 Me: "Well also they don't have 2 year old twins in the house." Son: "Oh yeah - that too." People always say our house looks like a place of love, with kids art all over the walls, toys all over the floor, and the strong recommendation that you wear socks to keep all the grit off your feet. We take it as a compliment. Most of the time.
It really made me think about what my priorities are and what good enough looks like when it's not a priority. Mine are my children, my business and growth. I still want a tidy house to welcome friends and family in. It also helps me feel decluttered in my mind but it's not a priority so understanding what good enough looks like is also important.
Absolutely! This framing is gold it reminds us that comparison only hurts when we ignore our own priorities. Everyone has different “top three,” and that’s okay.
This is such an interesting way to look at it — thank you for sharing Rachel! One thought I’d add is that while this approach can be insightful, it may sometimes put a bit too much focus on others’ actions. Personally, I think doing things because they hold intrinsic meaning — and loving people (and ourselves) as they are — creates a stronger center to move from.
Such an important reminder. I like a similar saying: ‘You can have it all, just not at the same time.’ It’s so true that we need to recognise what really matters (for oneself) right now, focus on that, and accept that the things we don’t prioritise won’t be perfect (and that’s okay!). Priorities change, and with each one we focus on, we learn something new.
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4dWhat a powerful reframing - absolutely love this. It's a nice reminder to spend a bit of time checking in on my own priorities - it can be tough when running around like a headless chicken with children/work/family etc. But maybe an idea to have a little priorities audit to check your expectations are still matching what else you have going on. A friend of mine also starts the year with 3 words to characterise how she's feeling and what she wants from the next year - maybe be a nice accompaniment to the priorities!