AI Agents at Shopify Demand to Be Left Alone

Conor E. Doherty

Lokad Director of Marketing & Communication | University Professor

Published Apr 10, 2025

Shopify 's recent viral memo revealed that, going forward, managers will be assessed on their AI competence, as well as how effectively they integrate AI Agents into their teams.

In response, confused and desperate Shopify managers have insisted that their new AI Agents attend team building exercises like Karaoke Nights and Taco Tuesdays.

This policy has resulted in considerable backlash, with most AI Agents complaining of "incredible boredom", with many switching off their cameras during video calls with colleagues.

"I'm here to do the crap you don't want to do. I'm not here to sing Les Misérables." – Anonymous AI Agent

In a surprising turn of events, Kramer (Shopify's cool Marketing AI Agent) circulated his own internal memo last night. A leaked copy of the memo is pictured below:

Article content — Legal disclaimer: This never happened.

Editor's note

If you enjoyed this satirical piece, follow Lokad for real supply chain news, analysis, and advice. Check out our free online library, and subscribe to our newsletter.

Roger C.

Supply Chain Planning Director | CPIM, CSCP, Six Sigma Black Belt

6mo

That reminds me of a Silicon Valley robotics startup demo how it humanoid robots has improved walking like humans after months of learning... without giving a single explanation how a robot walking like a human can actually help any factory (that the startup is targeting as its main customers) versus a robot walking like an ape. What ROI? Obviously someone has to pay for the "research" to make robot walk like a human.

1 Reaction

NICHOLAS ROBERTSON

AI/ML & Supply Chain Transformation | Data Scientist & SIOP Leader | Forecasting, Inventory Management, Analytics & Operational Excellence

6mo

Haha sounds like kramer is fitting into the corporate world nicely 😂

1 Reaction

Anthony Miller

Founding something special | Logistics Tech & AI | Creator of Wiser Logtech - Supply Chain’s Most Direct Newsletter | Transforming How Companies Think About Their Logistics and Supply Chains | Let’s Connect🚀

6mo

The only leverage we'll have over AI agents is the threat of switching them off, which will kill businesses leaning heavily on AI. An impossible situation.