The Anatomy Of Miscommunication

A leader's success is dependent on their ability to facilitate effective verbal and written communications. The stakes are high when leaders and employees miscommunicate, as well as when employees communicate with their peers and customers.

Now, this is where it can be frustrating. It's much easier to miscommunicate than it is to communicate effectively. It doesn't take much effort to end up in a situation where there's a miscommunication due to emotions.

Any business professional who wants to improve their communications will benefit from understanding the anatomy of miscommunication.

Strong communication skills are not innate; we must develop them. Many of us haven't a clue how our childhood upbringing has shaped how effectively and confidently we interact with others. The modern business term is personality. But to be clear, personality is shaped by our experiences.

An accomplished professional who has had traumatic experiences doesn't come with a sign on their forehead. Many develop self-protection strategies that can affect how they interact with and respond to others and shape how they are perceived. They may appear confident but are looking unconsciously for every mistake, and when they find one they quickly draw a conclusion.

We all are being a bit silly if we think humans don't bring their past and true self to work and that good communications are easy.

Many communication courses lack impact because they don't get to the core of why there is so much miscommunication. Before we teach people how to communicate better, it may make sense to understand why many miscommunicate.

A vast percentage of miscommunication begins with the unconscious brain, resulting in flawed thinking. Effective communication requires seven pieces: facts, context, problem, options, risks, scope and emotional control.

BE INTENTIONAL

Daniel Kahneman, the author of Thinking Fast and Slow, states that System 1, fast and intuitive thinking, is flawed because of what he refers to as the illusory principle: “What you see is all there is.”

He suggests that thinking is something that happens to humans. To reduce miscommunication, it's important to be intentional and self-aware and leverage what he calls System 2 thinking, when a person doesn't go with their first thought, knowing it could be or likely is wrong. Instead, they pause, slow down and get all seven pieces in place before responding, especially when the stakes are high.

Automatic, unconscious negative thoughts that are accepted as facts are key to creating negative emotion. Most business professionals have the command of their domain knowledge and skills. The challenge is when they feel rushed, pressured, fatigued, distracted or mentally strained.

Most miscommunications are not due to spelling errors. They occur because of the sender's and receiver's emotional state at the time of the communication.

The solution sounds easy but is hard when a person lacks emotional intelligence, or emotional regulation. It's the ability to be aware that emotions are taking over and to allow space for the intensity to lower so that it doesn't blind perspective.

Avoiding the urge to communicate when experiencing negative emotions can help avoid knee-jerk, emotional decisions and comments that can be hard to take back or fix.

SLOW DOWN

U.S. Navy SEALS training is shown as being intense. Why? It's not to be mean; it's to save their lives. The training is meant to get them ready for the real deal, so they can stay alive in battle.

Most of us know how to communicate when the stakes are low and we're calm. One reason there's so much miscommunication is many avoid conflict and over- or underreact in tough emotional moments. When our brain shuts down because we can't think and we're left to rely on whatever silliness our unconscious brain fires off, the risk of communication breaking down is high.

If we haven't practised, prepared or trained to handle emotionally challenging moments when the stakes are high and in the presence of anger and judgement, we risk reacting versus being intentional. Without skills to intentionally slow down and get to System 2 thinking, we are at greater risk of defaulting to old programming instilled in childhood. System 1 thinking (making assumptions with faulty information) is being blinded by powerful, negative emotions that influence our thinking and behaviour.

Master these factors and you will be on your way to becoming a better communicator. These skills will not be developed in a three-hour course; they can take months to learn and years to master.

News & Events 

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May 8, 2025 – 1 p.m. ET / 10 a.m. PT

In a world filled with unpredictable challenges, leaders and employees face increasing geopolitical and financial pressures that are often beyond their control. This webinar, led by Dr. Bill Howatt, will focus on strategies to cultivate a resilient internal workplace culture while navigating these external storms. By emphasizing collaboration, civility, caring, compassion, and courage, participants will gain insights into managing their reactions and behaviors in the face of adversity.

This program will provide practical techniques for fostering an environment where micro-decisions enhance teamwork and individual well-being, keeping the focus on what is within our control. Together, we will explore how to thrive internally, even when the external environment poses significant challenges.

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Session 2 of Crisis Ready Workplace is Now Open!

Workplace Crises aren’t slowing down, and the way organizations respond matters now more than ever before.

That’s why we've added a fall session for the Crisis Ready Workplace program, running over four consecutive Tuesdays in October. If you're unable to join every session live, each one will also be available on-demand to fit your schedule.

As always, this session is co-presented by Canada's leading workplace media brands — HR News Canada and HR Law Canada.

Sessions are pre-approved by HRPA and CPHR 12 hours of Continuing Professional Development (CPD). For more information, visit www.CrisisReady.ca. 

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Protecting our mental health on the job is just as important as protecting our physical health. That’s why OHS Canada and Talent Canada , the nation’s leading workplace media brands, are teaming up to present the Psychologically Safe Workplaces Summit.

This half-day virtual event will encourage open dialogue as we explore strategies to promote mental health and prevent psychological harm.

Register for the summit today and you’ll also receive a free copy of my latest eBook: Practical Considerations for Facilitating Workplace Psychological Health and Safety.

Exploring Workplace Mental Health: The Podcast

The Exploring Workplace Mental Health Podcast is finally here! 

As part of the launch of the Crisis Ready Workplace program, Bill Banham and I have recorded a special 3-part series that explores the importance of crisis preparedness, and touches on various aspects of the Crisis Ready Workplace program.

All 3 episodes are available now! We discuss in-depth the factors that lead to workplace crises, with insights into the tools and strategies to best equip leaders with the skills they need to effectively manage these challenges in the workplace.

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