Emotions Create Habits. How to Hack Your Brain.

Have you ever felt fully energized from learning a new skill? You wake up in the morning with an exciting feeling: “I have a new power! I want to use it, show it, share it.” It’s a wonderful feeling. But imagine that right at that moment, the whole world suddenly collapses. Turning everything upside down. That’s exactly what happened to me when COVID-19 struck.

To offer my clients one of the most powerful behavior change methods available, I signed up for the Tiny Habits Academy. I wanted to become skilled as a coach.

Failure is the standard for behavior change. Why?

Perhaps you sometimes try to change your own behavior and fail? You are not alone. It happens to everybody.

You want to become fitter, healthier, happier. More creative, productive, balanced or social. Sometimes you succeed. But mostly the result is a jo-jo effect: a first short burst of promising progress, fading fast as you sadly fall back into your comfy routine.

We take this pattern for granted. And accept it. It is only human. Change is hard. New habits are out of reach. Right?

No! It is the result of using ineffective techniques that rely on willpower and discipline. On outdated methods saying that repetition and frequency are the key. Which is simply not true. We end up feeling guilty because we didn’t succeed.

Tiny Habits puts an end to this suffering. Change can be easy and fun when you apply the simple steps of behavior design. Feeling successful becomes the norm. It is even a requisite of change. Failure is not an option by design.

Behavior scientist BJ Fogg created this method. And fine tuned it with ten thousands of people from all around the globe. Acquiring all sorts of habits.

Silicon Valley legend

In case you don’t know Fogg, allow me to introduce him. He leads the Stanford Behavior Design Lab. The co-founder of Instagram, among many other renowned innovators, were students of him.

He started research with his Stanford lab on using phones to influence behavior years before Apple launched iphone, the world’s first smartphone. “Mobile technology will be the most powerful way to influence consumers in the next 15 years” — Fogg predicted while we were still sending clumsy text messages with our Nokias in the beginning of this century.

As all inventions can be used for good and evil, Fogg also pioneered scientific papers and conferences on the ethical issues of influencing people with technology. Already in the beginning of this century he warned the USA government and others about the potential problems of this emerging field. Nobody listened. We found out the hard way, when the dark side of persuasive technology was brought into practice years later.

Meanwhile, he re-focussed his Stanford Lab on behavior design to help people lead healthier and happier lives.

Search for the holy grail

I came across Fogg and his Stanford Lab in 2015 during my quest to find the golden solution for environmental problems: behavior change. How can we reduce plastic waste? How can we make our homes and offices energy efficient? How can we ditch the car and embrace the bicycle?

All these efforts to protect our planet require behavior change. Logical. If people’s behavior does not change, the world remains the same. Simple as that. But most projects fail.

As behavioral psychologist I already worked on projects to reduce plastic waste in the early nineties. In the decades that followed we created an ocean full of plastics. That’s pretty sad. Especially if you fall in love with nature as a young boy and devote your life for a greener planet. I was ready to turn my back on the field, if I could not find solutions that work.

Life-changing training Behavior Design

I was fortunate to join Fogg’s intensive training, called Boot Camp Behavior Design. In September 2015 he trained me and a small group of eleven professionals in California to design better products, strategies and services.

Fogg is the founder of Behavior Design. His model to understand, analyse and predict behavior is the cornerstone. With his models how to think clearly about behavior and methods how to design for behavior, change becomes feasible and fun. Define the specific behavior, design targeted solutions, quickly test them and reiterate.

To practice, we also designed behavior for aspirations most people share, like: ‘How can I start my day better’ and ‘How can I reduce my stress’. We learned how to hack our brain with emotions. And to design a sequence of baby steps. How to scale back a behavior and make it tiny: thirty seconds. Build new habits super-fast doing so.

Design for emotions and outsmart your brain

Fogg can explain best: “I have worked on behavior design and habits for much of my twenty five years at Stanford. One of my key findings is that emotions create habits. Not repetition. Not frequency.

In my own research I found that habits can form very quickly, often in just a few days, when you have a strong positive emotion connected to the behavior. But the popular myth is still that repetition is the key. That is simply not true. When you design for habits, you design for emotions. This is a cornerstone in the system I developed.

I found a way to hack your brain and create what neuroscientists call a ‘reward prediction error’. In English we don’t even have a good word for this. With the encouragement of three of the world’s experts on human emotion I created a new word: Shine. I believe my technique to evoke the feeling of Shine is a breakthrough in habit formation.”

So how do you fool your brain? By celebrating! Give yourself a positive emotion. This might seem silly but it on this planet it is the most powerful way to create a habit. See below for examples.

Plant a seed and grow a tree

A striking metaphor for habit formation is planting a seed and growing a tree. People often resist to start small. Their aspirations are big. And they expect a miracle. You want big changes too, right? Now. Not a tiny change evolving into big transformation somewhen in the future. Fogg: “I use the plant metaphor to persuade people who expect a miracle. Do you expect to harvest tomatoes tomorrow when you are planting the seeds today? No! The analogy with seeds, plants and tending a garden often convinces people.”

Myself as a guinea pig

Back in Amsterdam, I tested the habit recipes I crafted on myself. My morning routine before Boot Camp: wake up, make coffee, turn on my computer, check email and start working. Terrible!

I smoothly developed a much better way to start my day: first drink a quick glass of water, feel positive, do simple physical exercises, take a quick brisk walk outside, meditate in a snap, read a tidbit, get into the flow for focused work.

My wife would make fun of me: ‘Practice what you preach, you work for nature!’

I gave my connection with nature a boost. It was broken. ‘You spent your time indoors. You work too hard. You are always in cities. Where is nature in your own life?!’ That was a painful confrontation. But had to admit that my spouse was right. The rare times I was in nature, I was lost in thought about my to-do list. So I promised myself to fix this.

In a few years my lifestyle completely changed. Effortless and easily. No jo-jo effects or guilt trips. I lost twenty kilos and last summer I trekked for weeks in the Norwegian mountains. Carrying my own camping gear without any extra training. Friends that hadn’t seen me a while, reacted astonished.

  What happened to you, why do you look so different?

Master the skill of behavior change by changing your own behavior

So that’s why my 2020 New Years’ resolution was to become a Tiny Habits coach. As consultant I was already using behavior design for years to help my clients develop strategies aimed at changing other people. Target audiences. Citizens. CEO’s. Users. Consumers. The synonyms for flesh and blood people used in policy, marketing and communication plans.

But after changing myself, I learned: as coach I could be more effective. I could guide individuals and teams to achieve both their personal and professional aspirations.

To be a great change-maker, often you have to change yourself first. For instance: become a good listener, more outgoing or a better communicator. Even more so: if you master you own behavior change, you naturally become more gifted to influence somebody else. Why is this the case?

Because behavior change is a skill, and practicing on yourself gives most direct feedback on what works and what doesn’t work. Leaning by doing is incredibly effective. No need to wait for test-cases. Experiment on yourself right away. That’s why I was so eager to add coaching to my toolbox. Now I could also help individuals to change themselves. And groups to change together.

Amsterdam turned into a ghost town

But just when I got certified, the coronavirus was labelled as pandemic by The World Health Organisation. The Dutch government closed all public venues and advised people to stay at home. The world was in shock.

The booming historical center of Amsterdam turned into a ghost town. The streets normally full of people speeding their bikes to appointments or enjoying the spring sun on terraces and boats, were empty. A spooky silence hovered over the city. Even the birds seemed to hold back their songs. I felt anxious and worried.

Flight or fight — freeze or act

‘Just wait until this crisis passes’, was my first reaction. This was not the time for new initiatives. I became a passive spectator. What could I do? Besides facilitating video calls with my mam and dad and other family members. Helping with shopping. There was nothing else I could think of. All actions seemed futile. Hibernating seemed best.

But in a group call with his coaches Fogg asked us to develop Expert-help sessions ‘Tiny Habits for Coronavirus Challenges’. “People all over the world are coping with uncertainty, anxiety. Working at home, teaching their children.” Fogg explained that new habits are crucial for their well-being. And asked us to help.

“Move fast”, he asked us. “Don’t polish your session. We are here to help people be a bit happier and healthier in these tough times. They need you now. Make your session personal and actionable. What can people do today to feel better?”

Tiny Habits to connect with nature — even in lockdown

First I was hesitant. My field of expertise is sustainability, solving environmental problems. How could I help people coping with the crisis? But after a few restless nights of pondering, I suddenly saw the match.

Science proves that Nature Connectedness reduces stress and anxiety. It boosts your health and immune system. It even makes you happier. And more focussed, productive and social. I already knew by heart the specific behaviors that are most effective to strengthen our relationship with nature. All tested by scientific research. And the good news is: some of these behaviors, you can do at home. Crucial for people in lockdown.

To strengthen your connection with nature, you need habits. Why? Nature Connectedness is like a muscle. It needs consistent training. If you neglect it, it weakens. If you nurture it, it grows. For any aspiration which requires consistent behavior, you need to create a habit. Period.

Therefore, I passionately developed a mini training: ‘Improve your well-being and reduce stress using Tiny Habits to connect with nature’.

More than seventy sessions helping thousands of people

New to the community of coaches, I was amazed to see how fast we moved: in a matter of days the first sessions were online. The next weeks more than seventy live sessions were offered for free to a global audience. Thousands of participants attended and always left with tips to be used instantly. No need for long preparations. Act and feel better today.

It is a joy to do these sessions. It gives me a wave of energy, fueled by positive feedback, from people all over the globe coping with the crisis: “Thanks, that was fabulous and very practical.” “Exactly what I needed right now.” “Wonderful, this is invaluable!

It makes me feel purposeful. Like I can make difference. Even if it is small, it seems significant.

Make the most of it. And what surprised you?

Looking back, this year I went from energized & eager to share my new skills, to a frozen and anxious standstill when the crisis broke out, to positive action fueling my passion to help change behavior. I learned along the way that for me it is best to act instead of to stand by waiting for the right time to return.

If you are also interested in making the most it, take a look at the Expert-help sessions  and find a session that could be of help for you right now. Topics: productivity & work, health & hygiene, family & relationships, positivity & wellness.

Feel invited to my session Tiny Habits to Connect with Nature, even in lockdown.  You are most welcome. Remember: to grow a tree you need to plant a seed.

I hope I have inspired you with my story. If so, please leave me a comment: what surprised or interested you? 

Some background info:

Behavior Design, Behavior Model and one of the methods highlighted

Three Variables drive all human behaviors

The Fogg Behavior Model is the key to unlocking the mystery of behavior change. It represents the three universal elements of behavior and their relationship to one another. For a behavior to occur, Motivation, Ability and a Prompt must converge at the same moment. This goes for all behavior. In all cultures.

Is it really that simple?

I thought at first when I was trained during Behavior Design Boot Camp under mentorship of Fogg. Doubt rose. Big question mark. As psychologist I learned many different models, each with different angles, variables and causes & effect relations. But if you look close to the Fogg Behavior Model, you can see that the complexity of behavior is not over simplified.

Motivation

Motivation, one of the main drivers of behaviors, is complex. How bad do you want it? How strong is your desire? Do you want to paint your house to win the heart of your new lover? Core motivators are pleasure and pain, hope and fear, social acceptance and rejection. Well, that’s not simple, is it? It is the material of a Shakespeare play.

Ability

Ability, the second core variable, is multi-layered as well. A behavior can be easy to do because you are really skilled at it. You have been a painter since you were nine. And so were your father and grandfather. It is in your genes. Your ancestors even made the famous cave paintings. Or maybe you have this amazing new tool which speeds up the painting process by factor ten. Even better is to break the behavior into a sequence of baby steps. Focus on the first step. Then the next. Make it easy. Before you know it, the house is painted.

Prompt

And don’t forget the prompt. For a behavior to happen, it needs to be triggered. Ping. Your phone is full of prompts. Sticky notes ‘do this’ are prompts. A grumbling stomach signaling you are hungry is a prompt. And if your spouse reminds you every day that the house needs to be painted, one thing is for sure: you won’t forget it.

There’s a trade-off between motivation and ability. Make it easy!

One of the most powerful insights I got from learning this model, was that motivation and ability are compensatory. What do I mean by that? When you are highly motivated, you can do hard behavior. When your motivation is low, the behavior must be easy to do. When behavior is super easy, it requires hardly any motivation. Simplicity changes behavior, as Fogg says. Designing ways to make behavior easy, is extremely powerful.

So do you want consistent and lasting behavior change? Make it easy to do. The Tiny Habits Method shows you exactly how to do that.

It is one of the many methods available for behavior design. You can also for instance design for a one time behavior requiring high motivation, buying a house for instance. Picture it as:

Tiny Habits, the small changes that change everything

In his New York Bestseller, Fogg explains: “The essence of Tiny Habits is this: Take a behavior you want, make it tiny, find where it naturally fits in your life and nurture its growth”.

Why is this a good idea? Tiny is fast. We are all short of time. When you scale down a behavior to thirty seconds, ‘I am too busy’ is not a valid excuse anymore.

Tiny is safe. Failure is not an option. Fogg has two maxims in his book. The first one is: Help people do what they already want to do. And the second one is: Help people feel successful. If you change your own behavior: ‘help yourself feel successful’. How can you do that? By only selecting behavior you really want to do. And by making that behavior tiny. So tiny that success is guaranteed. The feeling of success wires in the habit.

As said, super easy behavior hardly requires any willpower. That’s great! Maybe one day you are tired. Maybe another day you are fed up by the crisis. Or the negative news. Perhaps that family member is bothering you again. No problem. Your willpower might get a dent, but your habit will stick.

Imagine building a new habit by planting a seed which will become a tree. Naturally. And tending a garden to envision the whole range of habits you are fostering. Success leads to success. Big things have small beginnings. And a journey of a thousand miles, starts with a single step.

Emotions create habits. Hack your brain by celebrating.

Feel Shine

How can you create the necessary positive emotion to encode the desired new habit fast in your brain? By celebrating!

What do I mean by that? By doing a move, like a fist pump of victory sign. Or playing a song in your head like ‘we are the champions’. Or picturing your newly born granddaughter or a sweet puppy. Just smiling and saying ‘well done’ works too. Anything that gives you a positive emotion. It is personal, so finding which celebration works is key.

This might seem awkward at first. But remember: emotions create habits. So you could easily say that this part is most important! At least, if you want fast and powerful results and not rely on the outdated ‘repetition creates habits’-methods.

Do you know who love celebrating? Children. They are naturals. Somewhere along the line many of us have lost the ability to celebrate without a ‘real serious reason’. Winning a match. Getting your degree. Marrying. It takes a little courage to celebrate that you succeeded doing your 30 second morning exercise.

That’s why I often get resistance for this part of the method. The Dutch are down to earth and are skeptical about celebrating. I asked Fogg: how can I get my clients and friends over that barrier? His answer: “Help them find their natural celebration. It does not have to be big. Just saying ‘yes, that’s how I do it’ can work. Or: ‘I got it done’; ‘I did it.’ Acknowledging by heart that you have done a good thing is enough to get the positive emotion, to feel Shine.”

What surprises or interests you in behavior change?

That said, I wish you a lot of Shine to enlighten this dark period in our human history. What surprises or interests you most if we talk about behavior change?

Please leave a comment,

I would love to hear from you.