Help Is Just A Call Away!

"You could have asked for it to any of your neighbor!"

I was half bent, carrying a 20-liter bottle of mineral water and was struggling to get into the lift. That's when Goyal caught me. He stays one floor below me in same apartment and we hardly know each other. Our water filter broke down in the evening. We were likely to run out of water in the night. The filter servicing guy was to come next day. It was a kind of emergency. The water has to be arranged. I called Sanjay - my regular grocery store guy and asked him to deliver the water bottle. He was alone in his shop and somehow managing the evening rush. He would bring the bottle only after 11:30 pm while going home after closing the shop for the day. That would be too late.

So, I decided to fetch the bottle from his shop myself. He helped me in loading the bottle in the dickey. But from parking to lift and lift to my home I had to manage it myself. I was in this uncomfortable situation that’s when Goyal made that comment. That directly hit my ego. My first reaction was fuming with anger. Who was he to offer me such an uncalled-for advice? Why is he trying to show himself smarter than me? But as the moment passed, I went in to introspection.

What wrong did he say? Wouldn't it be simple if I would have knocked on the door of any of neighbors and asked for one or two buckets of water? Who would refuse such a small thing? Why I did not seek help of someone when I was in trouble? Is it my conditioning? Is it our conditioning? Is our modern living style making us going into shells?

We read in school books that man is a social animal. The reply of famous anthropologist Margaret Mead to a student's question about earliest sign of a civilized society will not be out of context here.

Mead supposedly replied that the first sign of civilization is a healed human femur - the long bone that connects hip to the knee. Because a lonely wounded animal in the wild would be hunted down and eaten before its broken bones could heal. So, a healed femur is a sign that a wounded person must have received a HELP from others. Mead is said to have concluded, "Helping someone else through difficulties is where civilization starts." This might be just a fable but it highlights the important element of civil society’s spirit of helping a person to bring her out of difficult situations.

Let us go to 40-50 years back. We are kids. Let us go to our mohalla, vada or chawl. We are living in houses with minimal comforts. Maybe just one fan. tap water? May be may not be. No water heater, No Fridge, No Mixer, may be a Gas stove, Pressure cooker - perhaps yes, Electric Iron - No. A Scooter – no just one or two bicycles, car - what are you talking? Such is the life of us. Most families living hand to mouth. Managing thigs are difficult.

Suddenly a guest arrives - unannounced. And a panic sets on the family. What to offer him? Minimum is a simple cup of tea. But oh! Milk just got finished. Your mother hands you a cup. You sneak out to a neighbor’s door. The milk is offered without any air of superiority. You accept it without any kind of shame or guilt and heads back to home. Guest is served Tea. Family's reputation is saved.

Was it not very common then? Tea, oil, salt, spices, you name it. It was a free exchange of daily use items without swelling or hurting any one's ego.

Fast forward to today. You cannot imagine somebody knocking on your door and asking for some sugar or a bulb of garlic. The people who are ready to help are now rare to find. Rarer are the people seeking the help. Not even when if they are in their gravest condition. You need a big heart to help someone. Perhaps it is even more courageous to ask for the help.

Today, when pink slips are no more associated only with poor performance, people needing help are increasing. Many of them do not find any help in getting a job. And many of them sulk and suffer just because they are not able to set themselves free from their false ego of position and status – just like me who could not knock on the neighbor’s door.

Is our generation cursed to suffer in isolation?