Owning Your Individual Power and Proven Strategies for Negotiating Your Career

We all have memories inside of us that reflect a time when we owned our power and successfully manifested what we wanted. Was it a new job? A promotion? A new skill? Whatever it was, your goal may have felt difficult – maybe even unachievable - yet you knew in every fiber of your being it would come true. When it did, it happened in a way that felt right. It made you feel connected to who you are and what you want; that you were unstoppable. What these memories convey is that every single person has power and can own it.

We may not always think that power and negotiation go together, but in fact, they do. We’re almost always negotiating with ourselves to set our priorities, to identify what is important to us, and to decide what actions to take, in both our professional and personal lives. Often, we may not even be aware we’re doing this---or why---because we’re on autopilot.

When we’re on autopilot, our decision making can be clouded by our experiences. By how we were raised, what’s expected of us, our lived experience, and the stories we tell ourselves or others tell us. When you’re not clear on you, it’s difficult to be your most powerful. Therefore, before we negotiate with others or negotiate with ourselves, we must look inside and own our power FIRST. 

To own power, you must know what it is. In its simplest form, power is energy; it’s innate within us and we can draw on it to drive us, fuel us, and achieve what we can commit to. I have a favorite quote about power that comes from an anonymous person: Power without compassion, understanding and vulnerability is not power. It is force.

Force gets stuff done, but it’s draining. Force is finite and can only take you so far. It can leave you unfulfilled, frustrated and feeling alone. However, when you act in a manner that is aligned with who you are at your core, you are owning your power and are the most powerful you can be. That ownership power is your negotiating strength.

Owning your power is about consistently checking in with yourself --- the real you--- repeatedly. When you do that, you’ll find that you move with ease and grace in negotiating what you want in your life, your career, and your relationships.

You can be powerful and influential in your negotiations in the best way possible, because your influence is not force. It is 100 percent the authentic you. And that gets us to negotiations.

Here are some of the strategies I’ve used to negotiate my career:

• Know what you want and what you need. Take care of yourself first so that you can take care of others.
• Get at it! Life is short. Set short- and long-term goals. Be passionate about what you do and look for opportunities to expand the range of projects and responsibilities you have.
• Establish multiple “communities” for yourself. We all need people in our lives who can make us happy, listen to and comfort us, inspire us, and basically support whatever we need at whatever point we are at in our lives – and that changes over time. Think about what makes you unique. How can you use those distinctive traits to your advantage? Bring your authentic self to your job and demonstrate that you are prepared, know what you are doing, and are enthusiastic about taking on more responsibility.
• Lift others up, especially other women. I’ve taken my experiences with mentors to heart, and now I work hard to help others see greatness in themselves, to see that door and to help them get through it. And I encourage everyone I work with or know to look for opportunities to find mentors for themselves, and to be a mentor to someone else. 

What are some strategies you’ve used to own your power and negotiate your career?