Pull Up a Chair: The Greatest Leadership Lesson I Ever Learned

It was one of those nights in the restaurant business that tests every nerve you’ve got. The kitchen was shorthanded, orders were taking too long, and mistakes were slipping through. By the time I walked into the dining room, ten different customers wanted to speak with the manager.

For most managers, this is the moment you dread. Nobody wants to deal with a line of upset guests, much less comp a night’s worth of meals that wrecks the sales numbers. But on that night, I watched a manager named Ty do something that forever changed how I see leadership.

He walked into the dining room, stood tall, and made an announcement:

“I understand many of you are upset, and I’d like to speak with each of you individually.”

Then he did something simple but profound. He pulled up a chair. One table at a time, he sat down, listened, apologized, and responded. Sometimes that meant comping a meal. Other times, it meant offering a gift card, or simply owning the mistake and promising to do better next time.

By the end of the night, every single customer left with a smile, not because the food was perfect, but because they felt that someone took the time out to value their feedback and do something about it.

When I asked him why he handled it that way, he said:

“Sometimes you have to pull up a chair. I told everyone at the same time because no one should leave thinking I cared more about someone else’s issue than theirs. The best part? They’ll be back.”

That night taught me the greatest leadership lesson I’ve ever learned: pull up a chair.

Accountability Is the Chair You Pull Up

Leadership isn’t about deflecting blame, hiding behind systems, or hoping a problem disappears. It’s about taking accountability — one conversation at a time. Ty didn’t dodge the moment. He leaned into it. He acknowledged the frustration, gave it time, and faced it head-on.

This applies far beyond the restaurant floor. In corporate life, it’s easy to create layers of process that distance leaders from hard conversations. But nothing builds trust like presence. Pulling up a chair is a posture of accountability. It’s how leaders show up when it matters most.

Why this FUELed his team

Taking ownership creates fuel. Those customers left not just satisfied but energized to come back again. For teams, the same is true. When leaders own mistakes and take hard conversations seriously, it fuels loyalty and commitment.

Ty chose to slow down in the middle of chaos. He could have rushed to calm everyone down at once. Instead, he flexed, adjusting his approach, meeting each customer where they were, and handling each issue as unique.

He also chose not to blame the cooks, or the servers, or anything else for the customer issues. He could have said that we were shorthanded. He could have said that we had newer, less experienced servers entering orders into the system. He could have completely deflected. Instead, he showed me that leadership isn’t about avoiding the fire, it’s about sitting in it, listening, and taking responsibility.

Final Thought

Great leadership pulls up a chair. It doesn’t run from the challenge, hide behind a report, or hope someone else takes the heat. It acknowledges, it listens, it owns, and it acts.

The truth is, people don’t expect perfection. They expect presence. They expect to be heard. They expect accountability.

And when leaders give that, one chair, one conversation at a time, trust is built, loyalty is earned, and growth becomes inevitable.

Bonus Recipe: Garlic Butter Skillet Chicken with Roasted Vegetables

Prep + Cook Time: 30 minutes

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 3 tbsp unsalted butter
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp dried Italian herbs (oregano, basil, thyme mix)
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 lemon, sliced into wedges
• 1 zucchini, cut into half moons
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 cup cherry tomatoes
• 1 small red onion, sliced

Instructions

1.                  Prep veggies: Toss zucchini, bell pepper, tomatoes, and onion with 1 tbsp olive oil, salt, and pepper. Spread on a sheet pan and roast at 425°F for 15–18 minutes until tender.

2.                  Cook chicken: Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season chicken breasts with paprika, Italian herbs, salt, and pepper. Cook 5–6 minutes per side until golden and fully cooked. Remove to a plate.

3.                  Make garlic butter sauce: In the same skillet, lower heat to medium. Add butter and garlic, stirring until fragrant. Squeeze in juice from half the lemon, stir well.

4.                  Combine: Return chicken to skillet, spoon sauce over the top. Serve alongside roasted vegetables. Garnish with lemon wedges.

This dish is quick, flavorful, and hearty — exactly the kind of “pull up a chair” meal you’d imagine sharing in a restaurant or around a family table.

Wine Pairing

A Pinot Noir is perfect here. Its light body and bright cherry notes complement the roasted vegetables, while its earthy undertones highlight the garlic butter richness of the chicken. Balanced, versatile, and not overpowering.

Non-Alcoholic Pairing

Serve a sparkling cranberry spritzer: mix sparkling water with cranberry juice, a squeeze of lemon, and a sprig of fresh thyme. It mirrors the acidity of the Pinot Noir while keeping things refreshing and inclusive.