Redefining Success at 40+: When the Ladder Isn’t Enough
By Lynnecia S. Eley | The Confidence Doula™
Are you like me? Are you a woman who has committed her 20s and 30s to advancing in her career?
We saw the ladder as the goal, which included degrees, promotions, leadership roles, and recognition. We learned to pursue "the goal" as markers of our progress. We often hear, as Black women, that we must be twice as good, twice as polished, and twice as perfect to even be considered. So, we hustle. We achieve. We rack up points in the goals category. We make it to the top, or close to it, and then… something shifts. The view from the top isn’t quite what we imagined. The question then becomes, “Is this it?”
Hold on… this isn’t an article about failure. It’s about fulfillment
You might be respected in your career. You might have a title people admire and respect. But something inside of you is whispering: There has to be more. There should be more.
It’s something about the age of 40. At 40+, it’s not uncommon to feel like you’ve outgrown your original definition of success, but no one has told you what to do next. What truly represents the pinnacle of success? Success used to look like:
• The big job title in your email signature
• The number of degrees or certifications behind your name
• A full calendar that proved how valuable (busy) you are
• External applause, awards, badges, and LinkedIn-worthy wins to share
For many of us, those achievements were a survival strategy that’s fueled by a desire to prove ourselves. But now, we’re realizing we no longer want to just appear successful. We want to truly experience success. As we enter this new season of leadership with purpose, the ladder isn’t the goal anymore. Legacy is. That legacy is rooted in how we live, not just what we accomplish.
Again, if you’re like me, here’s what success might look like now:
• Freedom in your schedule: not having to ask permission to rest
• Fulfillment in your service or purpose: not just tasks, labels, and titles
• Faith in your decisions: even when they don’t make sense to others
• Flexibility to lead in your own way, knowing your work is making impact, not just impressions
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that success today might also look like drinking a hot caramel latte in peace with whipped cream, protecting your weekends and watching a good Netflix limited series, or not apologizing for setting a boundary and saying “no.”
Because, sis, you are allowed to redefine what success means to you now. You don’t need to exhaust yourself to prove your excellence to the world.
Affirmation for the Week:
I release outdated definitions of success. I create space for peace, purpose, and alignment in this season of my leadership. You’re not starting over. You’re starting in alignment.