Untethered Talent (4/5): Rely On Community

The goal of the previous section, Let your mind breathe, is to avoid extreme anxiety by pursuing ways to recharge your battery. Breaks from job hunting can then become rewards but if most of your social interactions came from your job and you’ve lost that connection, finding new ways to socialize becomes crucial. 

Loneliness and isolation seem more common since social media, the pandemic, and remote work. Human interaction can be scarce or become intimidating when there is physical distance. It takes intentional effort to start and maintain real life relationships especially when looking for your next job opportunity. 

Andee’s Testimonial

Growing up, I wasn’t given a blueprint for building or maintaining friendships. But since college, I’ve made a conscious effort to invest in the give-and-take of relationships. A phrase I heard on the 10% Happier with Dan Harris podcast, “Never worry alone,” stuck with me and underscores the importance of nurturing relationships through good times and bad. It’s been much easier for me to rely on friends who once relied on me.

Over the years, I’ve made friends who I connect with over houseplants or fitness and others I call about cooking or home improvement. I’ve also intentionally curated my version of community. I’ve made great effort to get to know people from spaces like BIPOC barre3 and Sincere Studio’s BIPOC Sewing where I connect with other hobbyists while pursuing my love of sewing. I’ve gotten better at maintaining friendships as an adult as the benefits of human interaction outweigh the loneliness that can stem from isolation. 

While I cherish these connections, I’ve also learned to set boundaries, ensuring I have the energy and focus to work toward my career goals or take a nap! Alone time is good too. The point is that unemployment doesn’t mean I have to be available to everyone all the time—it’s about finding balance and staying intentional.

Jalen’s Testimonial

Living in my hometown, I’ve been blessed to have a tight knit community around me. Despite that, most of these people have jobs so I found myself feeling pretty lonely throughout the week. In addition, I had become more comfortable with staying inside as the pandemic had suppressed my social drive a bit. The thought of going out brings both financial, and social anxiety. No one is looking to spend unnecessary money while out of work, and it seems inevitable that someone will ask you “what do you do for work?” or “how's life treating you?” All of these factors make staying home sound a lot more comforting, but overtime that comfort turns into restlessness with feelings of missing out or wasting away time. 

To overcome these anxieties, I turned to my community to find solutions around them. On weekends, I love going out with my friends to places with good music and energy. Depending on where you go this can become expensive. Fortunately, Drae Slapz and Zyah Belle  primarily host free events. Between the two of them there’s usually something every other weekend. It’s a great opportunity to listen to good music, dance, and have fun in a safe environment. During the week Deadstock Run Club hosted by Amir Armstrong provides a great experience for building community and cardio. They also have multiple pace groups so you don’t have to worry about being an avid runner to go. 

Overcoming the social anxiety aspect of going out while unemployed involved me focusing more on my intentions rather than anticipating judgment. My reasons for going to events in the community are to have fun, focus on the positives, and to disconnect a bit from all the things that may not be going my way. Finding reasons to smile through the struggle is what keeps me fighting on, so it is important to seek out those moments rather than immersing myself in the discontentedness of the situation. 

The definition of community is for you to decide. It could be a party of two or a group of many. Perhaps it’s a one-time art walk that sparks inspiration or a recurring volunteer activity that brings purpose. Maybe you will meet new people along the way or invite like minded friends to join you. Either way, being open to start a conversation or lend a hand to offer support will keep you from feeling alone while surrounded by people. Building your community while maintaining boundaries is a personal balance to strike so give yourself grace along the way.

Share Your Thoughts 

What about you? Community is so broad that you have to define it for yourself. But how do you do that, exactly? Share what works for you by dropping your ideas, strategies, and questions in the comments.

Written by: Andee Anderson and Jalen Ladd

Part 1: Rebuild Your Schedule | Part 2: Get In Motion | Part 3: Let Your Mind Breathe |

Part 5: Redefine Self-Worth