What I Learned From #LightsOutMeta

This past week, I took part in #LightsOutMeta. As one of Facebook’s first 12,000 users, joining the minute I got my Harvard email address in the spring of 2004, Facebook has been a very large part of my life for a very long time. Initially, it’s how I found out who my freshman roommates would be and whether so-and-so was single. As the years have gone on, its features have changed, but it’s still been a place where I’ve gone to connect with my friends and network. It has even become a big part of my job, where paid social media has been one of Digital4Startups’ specialties for over a decade.

So it’s no surprise that it was really hard for me to go off Meta this past week, and I learned a lot in that time.

1.        I participated in LightsOutMeta by deleting the app from my phone. It was amazing to me how many times, especially in those first few days, I would find myself absent-mindedly going through my apps what felt like every few minutes, trying to find it. Just this morning I realized I had it open on my computer without consciously having meant to do so. (I closed the tab)

2.        I didn’t realize how addicted to Meta I was. See comments above. It was really hard to break away

3.        There were points when I had to call or text people to ask them to provide me info that I otherwise knew was on Meta – for example, the link to a Girl Scout cookie sale, or a neighbor’s phone number.

4.        I do, in fact, use Meta to get useful information, sometimes info that I can’t get anywhere else. For example, our townhome community group is only on Meta, and often includes important and timely info, like a courtyard gathering or duct cleaning or an upcoming HOA meeting, that I need. I learn a lot about which restaurants are opening and closing in our neighborhood through our neighborhood Facebook group.

5.        I became more deliberate – I had more direct text message conversations with friends, for example, really thinking about who I wanted to communicate with. When I logged on to Facebook on my computer (sparingly) it was to check specific neighborhood and community FB groups for information – no random scrolling!

6.        If I wanted news, I checked the news – Rather than scrolling Meta looking to see what was going on in the world, I went directly to the New York Times, CNN, The Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, ESPN, The Athletic, People… getting the news directly from its sources instead of relying on a social media algorithm. This kept me a lot saner, especially amidst all the headlines of last week.

7.        I became less comparative – Catching myself looking at Instagram stories over the weekend, I realized I felt a pang of sadness and self-doubt when I saw that some friends had gotten together, and I hadn’t known about it/been invited – even though that’s a totally normal and ok thing to happen.  I realized how grateful I was to not have felt that FOMO and that “I am not good enough” feeling, especially on a weekend when I was potty-training my toddler and thus could hardly leave the house anyway, but I digress…

8.        I became more opinionated – When I decided that I was going to write this post, I decided that I was going to write this post. I did not check what anyone else had written. I did not scroll around for public sentiment. I have had opinions over the last week, and I’ve chosen to share or not share them, without reading the room first or self-censoring. It’s been really liberating – before social media, I used to say what I thought. I’d like to go back to having opinions again.

9.        I did more productive things -- I got back to my workouts. I kept my New York Times Crossword Puzzle streak alive. I read. I had a great week on Duolingo.

10.  I became more relaxed – I feel like I’m a little more relaxed and my mental health is in a better place after this “social media fast.” I didn’t spend all my time reading AITA posts or getting upset from other people’s sob stories or scaring myself with worst case scenarios learned off of social media. One day I subconsciously logged on only to find myself instantly served a reel about someone almost dying at the end of a marathon and this guy saved her life – the kind of thing that would implant itself in my brain and scare me and keep me from working out or running a race again. But I didn’t watch it. And by not watching, reading, or seeing any of that content, I had fewer reasons for alarm bells to go off. I wasn’t constantly worried about what other people were thinking or would think of me either, as mentioned above. I was – in a word- happier.

Going forward, while I will likely wind up putting Meta back on my phone eventually to get phone numbers and event addresses, I plan to use it MUCH less than I had previously, putting strict limits to my Meta time and continuing to be deliberate about what I do on there.  I will increase my Instagram (which is less emotional for me with less groups and texts) and LinkedIn usage, while also trying to get into BlueSky more (find me at @revamink.bsky.social). Most of all, I will remember that what I think doesn’t have to be regulated by majority-rules consensus, or consensus of whoever is the loudest. I have a brain and a voice – I plan to keep using both of them.

And I plan to continue to take stands against #hatespeech and #misinformation. Facts matter, not propaganda.