Would You Like To Sleep Better Knowing You Have Closer Work Connections?

I used to press ‘connect’ on social media and get disappointing results…People were suspicious or trying to force their pitches.

But then I discovered how wonderful connections can be – if I engaged with emotionally switched on, generous people. Making genuine connections makes for a better working life. 

It’s easy to get into the groove of saying hello, liking posts, politely (or not) refusing automated pitches…Working on the surface and forgetting you are talking with real human beings that have lives just as full as our own.

This flurry of activity keeps us knee deep activity but people often complain of being fatigued from the volume of unhelpful engagements they have. 

Research shows the more time we spend on social media, the MORE isolated we feel, and I suspect what we gain in numbers we lose is terms of DEPTH.

Maybe we should ask: ‘Why am I spreading myself so thin?’ ‘How can I emotionally connect to others’ 

Or even ‘Who would I like to know better?’ ‘What makes for a compassionate communication.’

It’s time to get PERSONAL. Looking beyond what we can get from others.

Time to get EMOTIONAL. To allow ourselves to be free and available to others.

Time to get RELATIONAL. Allowing connections to develop naturally and not manipulating them as per a marketing course.

If we spend less time liking comments and two-dimension/ innapropriate conversations ( had an amazing example just the other day), we find there's a world of people out there to share our lives with in a DEEPER and more EMOTIONALLY SATISFYING and APPROPRIATE way. This is the basis for a better work life but also for a better world.

Could we take more time to chat less? More time to listen even?

More connections should not be a race; we’re not teenagers in school (though we increasingly behave like that and wonder why Gen Z don’t want to follow in our footsteps. Why would they?) 

Quality connections that want to work or chat with us are the ideal. Connecting with people to enrich our lives and so we can enrich the lives of others. How might that look?

When we engage someone in a conversation what is our INTENTION ? I can spot people who want to score their pitch pretty quickly, sometimes they don’t even know they’re doing it. Its so crude. So inelegant. So manipulative. So INSULTING. IF we think we are better than the person we are chatting to (though really we’ll be fooling yourself – we all feel the world epidemic of imposter syndrome) we lack compassion and decent humanity.  

DO our connections fit with us? NO point shifting around someone if there’s no spark.

Is it worth pausing to think ‘I’d like to know more about this person’? (in an APPROPRIATE WAY. I had someone yesterday telling me about how wrong the view of my own health was???!!!!)

Invite them for a virtual coffee? Sit and listen to their wisdom without judgment.  

Can we approach a conversation without, absolutely without, any premediated expectations or assumptions. Just soak in who someone else it appreciatively.

Can we offer the gift of our attention and deep listening? They give us the richness of their life.

Can we hang back from talking about ourselves or our precious views? See life through their lens?

And are we aware we might be trying to ‘sell’ when we chat? Can we dial the need for work down? 

Can we stay true to the INTENTION of getting to know someone. Let it unfold naturally.

When we make a judgment about who the person is, where the conversation is heading, where we want it we are micor managing life’s possibilities.  

Can we stop ourselves trying to control? Can we trust the other?

What if we allowed compassion to lead our interactions? How would we proceed?

Tips for starting such conversations might be -  ‘Who are you, who am I?’ and ‘What would you like to tell me?’

To think about being real and offering something of our real selves.

Turn off those sneering and limiting thoughts like ‘don’t be so ‘woo woo’  or ‘I’m so glad I’m not like that’ ‘Woo woo’ is where people connect. 

Difference makes for richness. 

‘Woo woo’ is where the compassion lies, and compassion is a countercultural act. It is also a chance for us to care about ourselves and others. 

Serve others. Co create. 

Can we sit in a non-judgmental way?

Ask ourselves: 

What does my head say? Is it neutral. 

How does the jaw feel? Is it tight. 

Where is the energy? Is it sluggish. 

How does the stomach react? Is it bunched up? 

What is our posture like? Am I stooping?

Other useful tips might be:  

to use meditation before meetings

slowing down the breath and landing in the moment

notice if the conversation has skewed into the negative

 offering how to open up thoughts and not limit.

If you would like coaching on how to do this (and I’m doing a lot of this work with #HR, #leaders and #neurodivergents) message me. You can have more helpful relationships with those around you.

#difference #corevalues #socialmedia #emotionalconnection#communication #authenticity #nonjugment #wonderfulpeople 

Life Coach London Ltd.