How to Improve Workplace Conversations

One of the easiest ways to guide a conversation while still deepening connection is by asking a WHAT or HOW question instead of a WHY. Last week I taught you the power of mirroring—how simply repeating someone’s words back to them can build instant trust. I’m at war with “why.” Why? Because “why” often makes people feel like they’re being interrogated. If you’ve ever been around a curious toddler, you know the feeling. “Why this?” “Why that?” “Why not?” It can wear down even the most patient among us. Now take that same energy into the workplace—imagine you go to your boss and say, “I’d like to take my team out to lunch,” and they respond with: “Why?” It can feel cold or dismissive. Like your idea is on trial. Now imagine they respond with: “What restaurant are you thinking?” or “How will you make sure everyone has a seat?” or “What’s the goal of the lunch?” Feels different, right? It’s supportive. Curious. Constructive. What and how questions open the door to dialogue. They help you lead a conversation without shutting someone down. They build trust and momentum. My invitation for Monday is to avoid WHY at all costs today, and just see how that feels.

Real conversations at work feel rare. Lately, in my work with employees and leaders, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: real conversations don’t happen. Instead, people get stuck in confrontation, cynicism, or silence. This pattern reminded me of a powerful chart I often use with executives to talk about this. It shows that real conversations—where tough topics are discussed productively—only happen when two things are present: high psychological safety and strong relationships. Too often, teams fall into one of these traps instead: (a) Cynicism (low safety, low relationships)—where skepticism and disengagement take over. (b) Omerta (low safety, high relationships)—where people stay silent to keep the peace. (c) Confrontation (high safety, low relationships)—where people speak up but without trust, so nothing moves forward. There are three practical steps to create real conversations that turn constructive discrepancies into progress: (1) Create a norm of curiosity. Ask, “What am I missing?” instead of assuming you’re right. Curiosity keeps disagreements productive instead of combative. (2) Balance candor with care. Being direct is valuable—but only when paired with genuine respect. People engage when they feel valued, not attacked. (3) Make it safe to challenge ideas. Model the behavior yourself: invite pushback, thank people for disagreeing, and reward those who surface hard truths. When safety is high, people contribute without fear. Where do you see teams getting stuck? What has helped you foster real conversations? #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #Communication #Trust #Teamwork #Learning #Disagreement

📶 Ever had a call where the signal keeps dropping? “Can you hear me now? Wait… you’re cutting out.” Communication at work often feels the same way. Sometimes the connection is crystal clear—ideas flow effortlessly, and everyone’s in sync. Other times? Static. 📡 Misunderstandings multiply, and tensions rise. When the connection gets weak, our instinct is to talk louder or push harder. But here’s what I’ve learned: If I get communication wrong as a cardiologist, it’s not just a misunderstanding—it could mean a misdiagnosis, a missed treatment, or a patient losing trust in their care. I’ve found that the strongest signal comes from intentional pauses. Try this approach: 1️⃣ Notice the interference. Are minds wandering? Is frustration building? 2️⃣ Reset. Like rebooting your router, step back. Take that breath. “Let’s pause for a moment.” 3️⃣ Test the connection. “Here’s what I’m hearing. Is that what you meant?” And sometimes, the best call is to disconnect and try later. Not every conversation needs to happen right now. Examples that will change your conversations: ❌ “Why aren’t you getting this?” ✅ “I sense we’re missing each other here. Can we take a step back?” ❌ “This is going nowhere.” ✅ “Let’s give ourselves space to regroup and revisit this fresh.” ✨ The truth is, masterful communication isn’t about perfect reception. It’s about noticing when the signal weakens—and knowing how to strengthen it. 📌 Where in your day could you use a connection reset? #JustOneHeart #CommunicationSkills #Leadership #WorkplaceCulture #ProfessionalDevelopment #Empathy