MAD DOGS

Written by Gary Hardy

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EXT. A ROOF-DAY The roof overlooks a beautiful city that has a lack of green. THREE MEN in their best bib and tucker suits and nice shades are in a Mexican standoff that is due to erupt any second now. The three men are: ACE GREEN: The most attractive of the bunch. The bone structure of a god and a modern version of Elviss hair. Hes in his late twenties or very early thirties. Too close to tell. The sunglasses cover his azure eyes. Clinching two handguns in his fists pointing at JOHN JACK and; BILL BRADLEY: He is a chubby, avuncular, and stout man in his early fifties. His hair is straggly and a five oclock shadow gives his face some color. He has two guns. One is pointing at Ace and the other at; JOHN JACK: A man youd never look twice at. He looks like he just got out of bed, despite wearing a suit. His feet are covered by tennis shoes that stand out in this crowd. Some tape is covering a bleeding wound on his shoulder. The blood is beginning to seep out. His guns are pointing at Bill and Ace. They are all reluctant to be the first one to shoot. ACE GREEN (V.O.) My dad always told me that everyone should have the taste of blood hit their tongues. And so he gave me a gun. And he said, never point this gun at anyone, unless you need to. And if you do point a gun at a man. Shoot him. And if you shoot him, kill him. And if you kill himDont. Get. Caught. My father was crazy. Beat. More stares. ACE GREEN Maybe I should give you some context before we all blow each others fucking faces off. INT. BLACK The sounds of a radio transmission come through. The voice is low, smoky, and obviously male.

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RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Now, uhh, folks, before we bring you our next song we are required to inform you that three men have just robbed Pintos Jewelry store down on, uhh, third street. Be advised suspects are armed and should be considered extremely dangerous. Now to our next song-The king of the surf guitar himself-Dick Dale! Playing Hava Nagila. And the song plays. FADE OUT: EXT. TEXAS PANHANDLE-DAY Dick Dale continues playing LOUD on the SOUNDTRACK. BIRDS-EYE-VIEW of a street surrounded by a sandy plain. A RED MUSTANG from somewhere in the 70s ZOOMS by. Followed by a cop car BARRELING down after it, FLASHING its red and blue lights. INT. 70S MUSTANG (MOVING)-DAY Ace Green is behind the wheel, as Bill sits in the passengers and John is in the back, JUTTING out of the window to SHOOT slapdash shots at the cops. Hava Nagila is playing on the radio. INT. BAR-DUSK Ace, Bill, and John Jack are at a hole-in-the-wall bar that has became obsolete over time. They all sit down in a booth with a leathery and red exterior and are sipping down beer throughout the scene. A burlap sack sits in its own place beside Ace. JOHN JACK Gotten pretty fat over the years, huh, Bill? BILL BRADLEY No, Im developing an eating disorder. JOHN JACK Developing?

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BILL BRADLEY Yea. Im develping an eating disorder. ACE GREEN You know, I fucking hate that shit. Why cant you just admit youre a fatass? Nowadays motherfuckers are riding around in motherfuckin super scooters at fuckin walmart picking out cookies from the diabetes section saying they have a disease. Bull-fucking-shit. I tell them, bull-fucking-shit. BILL BRADLEY Yea, but I actually do have an eating disorder. ACE GREEN No bill. Youre just a faggot. JOHN JACK I thought you were devolping an eating disorder. BILL BRADLEY I am. JOHN JACK You just said you had an eating disorder. BILL BRADLEY Dont nitpick my words. JOHN JACK Are you diagnosed? BILL BRADLEY Yea. JOHN JACK When? BILL BRADLEY When the hell what? JOHN JACK The fuck do you think? When were you diagnosed. Bill suddenly becomes angry.

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BILL BRADLEY I dont know. I fucking hate it when people ask you when something happened. Fucking Janurary of 99. I dont fucking know. Am I suppose to recollect what happened every fucking day of my life? How should I know? Fuck you asking when?. Fuck you. Fuck you. JOHN JACK I dont mean the exact day and time you old shit. Like fucking a year ago, a week ago. Ass. Ace begins to laugh. BILL BRADLEY What the fuck are you laughing at? Ace can barely speak under his laughter. ACE GREEN You guys are fucking retards. BILL BRADLEY Fuck you. Ace is still smiling. ACE GREEN Fuck you. Ace is still laughing and swigs a good chunk out of his Guinness. Bill looks under the table and spots John Jacks tennis shoes. He brings his head back up. BILL BRADLEY What the fuck are you wearing? JOHN JACK What? BILL BRADLEY What the fuck are you wearing? JOHN JACK A fucking suit. BILL BRADLEY Your shoes man.

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JOHN JACK What the fuck is wrong with my shoes? BILL BRADLEY Theyre fucking tennie runners. Ace laughs a bit more. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) (to Ace) Shut the fuck up! Ace stops. ACE GREEN Fuck you! BILL BRADLEY FUCK YOU! JOHN JACK Shut the fuck up. BILL BRADLEY Why the fuck are you wearing tennis shoes. JOHN JACK Well, since the business were about to go on I thought I would wear shoes if we had torun. BILL BRADLEY Fuck you. JOHN JACK What the fuck does that mean? BILL BRADLEY What does fuck you mean? It means go fuck yourself. JOHN JACK Fuck you. What the fuck is wrong with tennis shoes. BILL BRADLEY Theyre for fucking tennis. JOHN JACK Theyre not just for tennis.

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BILL BRADLEY They are called fucking tennis shoes, am I wrong? JOHN JACK No. BILL BRADLEY Bullshit Im not wrong. JOHN JACK I never said you were wrong. BILL BRADLEY Yes you fucking did. Ace didn't this motherfucker say that I was incorrect. Ace seems to be contemplating the meaning of life as he is staring off into space. ACE GREEN (without batting an eye, or acknowledging them) Dont care. BILL BRADLEY Dont care, huh? ACE GREEN No. Bill pops Aces space bubble after moving in with a reproachful look. JOHN JACK I never said you were wrong. BILL BRADLEY What the fuck did you say? JOHN JACK I saidBill looks back at him with a mean look. BILL BRADLEY SHUT THE FUCK UP! John sits back and plays with his beer. Bill looks back at Ace who is still contemplating the meaning of life.

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BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) Bitch when I am talking to you, you better goddamn make eye contact. Beat, Bill just stares at Ace. Ace still ignores him. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) You better not fuck with me! Beat. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) IM A BAD MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER. Ace finally looks at Bill. ACE GREEN Would you shut the fuck up? BILL BRADLEY What? Ace looks off into space again. ACE GREEN Im not gonna fucking reiterate for you because youre hard of hearing. Bill kicks him out of the booth. Ace is planted on the ground, hip first. Bill gets up and punches Ace in the back once, twice. The bartender gets out a shotgun and points it at them. BARTENDER Settle the FUCK down. The duo continues to ruffle each other up. BARTENDER (CONTD) SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN! He cocks the shot gun. BARTENDER (CONTD) SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN! He aims at a decoration hanging from the ceiling and SHOOTS. It falls right in front of them. They look up. BARTENDER (CONTD) Settle-the-fuck-down.

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BILL BRADLEY Who the fuck are you? Bill begins to walk towards him. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) Huh, who the fuck are you? JOHN JACK Bill. Stop being such a douche. Bill turns around and walks toward John. BILL BRADLEY What the fuck did you say? JOHN JACK I said youre being a douche and that you should fucking stop. ACE GREEN Im gonna take a shit. BARTENDER Fuck you! Stay where you fucking are. Ace smiles at the bartender and sets forth to the bathroom anyway. BILL BRADLEY Fuck you John. BARTENDER Dont fucking talk to him. BILL BRADLEY Fuck you. The bartender comes from the table and walks toward them still aiming his shotgun at them. Bill looks at him. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) What the fuck are doing? Go back to your fucking safety barrier. BARTENDER Put your motherfucking hands up! BILL BRADLEY Gonna shoot me? Bartender stops walking and cocks his shotgun.

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BARTENDER Hands up or Ill shoot your fucking faces off!! Bill puts his hands up and so does John after coming from the booth. Bill looks around and suddenly becomes confused. BILL BRADLEY Where the fuck is Ace? JOHN JACK In the bathroom. Bill becomes angrier. BILL BRADLEY WHERE THE FUCK IS ACE? JOHN JACK In the bathroom. Bill turns into the Hulk. BILL BRADLEY WHERE THE FUCK IS ACE?! JOHN JACK Hes in the fucking bathroom!! BILL BRADLEY (to the bartender) Well, why didn't you fucking shoot him, then? The bartender doesnt say anything. Just trembles. BILL BRADLEY (CONTD) Huh? Beat. Both put their arms down. Bill grabs the barrel of the shotgun and pulls it forward. Bartender follows. Bill kicks the bartender, who falls on the ground, and snatches away the shotgun then does a neat maneuver that lets him hold the gun correctly. Bill stands over the bartender who is cowering in fear. Ace comes out of the bathroom and is drying his hands off his pants. ACE GREEN What the fuck are you doing?!

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BILL BRADLEY This fucker was gonna shoot our faces off. BARTENDER No-no, no I wasnt... I swear man. I fucking swear. BILL BRADLEY Bullshit. You were fucking pointing this gun in our fucking faces and fucking cocked it. BARTENDER I didnt mean nothing... I swear. BILL BRADLEY You were going to fucking shoot us. BARTENDER No, I wasnt! BILL BRADLEY Yes, you fucking were. You said you were going to shoot our fucking faces off. Am I wrong? BARTENDER No, butBill gets angrier. BILL BRADLEY Bullshit! Im not fucking lying! BARTENDER I know! BILL BRADLEY Then why the fuck did you say I was wrong!? BARTENDER I didn--I didnt! BILL BRADLEY Yes you did! Yes you fucking did! BARTENDER No I didnt! BILL BRADLEY Dont fucking argue with me man!

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BARTENDER Im not. I just-BILL BRADLEY --Just what? BARTENDER I just never said you were wrong. BILL BRADLEY Thats it Im killing this motherfucker! ACE GREEN Dont fucking kill him man. BILL BRADLEY I cant help it man. I fucking hate this nigger. Ace speaks to Bill in a calm, soothing voice. ACE GREEN We cant have another corpse yet, man. BILL BRADLEY Bitch, I cant help fuckin it! Im gonna kill this motherfucker! JOHN JACK Dont kill him, man. ACE GREEN John, shut the FUCK up. JOHN JACK Fuck you, Ace. ACE GREEN Shut the fuck up JOHN! Dont fucking shoot him man. JOHN JACK Why the fuck cant I help? ACE GREEN Cause youre an asshole. JOHN JACK Im not a fucking asshole. ACE GREEN Yes, you are, man.

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BILL BRADLEY Im gonna kill him! Bill shoots and blows the bartenders head off. CUT TO: BLACK BEGIN OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE: INT. PINTOS JEWELRY STORE-DAY The place is a robbers heaven. A few monuments with random greek letters are engraved in are up in random places of the room with mouth watering piece of diamond or jewelry sits on red pillow-like fabric. Its almost like theyre daring someone to rob them. As the TITLES PLAY OVER store clerks have a void expression on their face until they talk to the customers where they fake a smile under their teeth and talk in an overly happy voice. After a family gets out of line we TRACK in FRONT of them. When we get outside Ace, Bill, and John Jack are sitting in a mustang from the 70s. HOLD on them. Bill gets out some prescription pills from a capsule and pops a couple in his mouth then takes a long swig from a Jack Daniels pint bottle. Ace is taking long drags from his cigarette, and trying to observe everyone go about their daily regimen. John Jack whispers something in Bills ear. Bill gets a chuckle out of it and takes another swig from the bottle. Ace opens the car door and throws the cigarette takes another sip from the bottle. John grabs a They all put on ski masks with holes cut out of the mouth. Ace gets three UZIs and hands one to John Jack hands Ace the burlap sack. END OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE. out. Bill burlap sack. the eyes and each of them.

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(CONTD)

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