Self-awareness is defined as the ability to perceive aspects of our

personality, behavior, emotions, motivations, and thought process

without self-criticism. In other words, it is our ability to recognize
ourselves without judging ourselves in a negative way. Some
define as awareness as paying attention, which means that self-
awareness is the ability to pay attention to ourselves and know
what we are about.

Self-awareness is a critical skill to develop, but it is not usually a

skill that is focused upon in school. Most children or teenagers
don’t even realize what this is until they reach early adulthood,
though they do experience some self-awareness as they join
activities, select classes, and even majors as they attend junior
high school, high school, and college. Yet, most children and
even teenagers are not entirely sure of who they are, what drives
them, what they stand for, and what really matters to them. They
really don’t know these qualities until they get to college and even
beyond college when they go out into the workforce for the first
time, get their first real place to live, and really set out on their
own path and life.

As mentioned above, children and teenagers get some sense of

self-awareness as they go through junior high school, high school,
and college. They get a sense of self-awareness based upon
their own behaviors, how punctual they are to classes and
appointments, the friends they hang around with, the subjects and
coursework that really interest them versus the ones that don’t

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interest them, the extracurricular activities they choose to
participate in, the types of jobs they take up to earn extra money
and to save for college, the types of colleges they apply to, and
more.

Essentially, they get an idea of how studious they are, how well-
mannered they are, what drives them to succeed, what interests
them, what matters to them, what people they care about, what
they like to think about and do with their spare time, what they
want to wear, how they want to wear their hair, and more.
However, true introspection for most people doesn’t really take
place until they are in college (presuming they attend) and after
they graduate from college. They start to figure out what causes
really matter to them, what topics in the world interest them, what
they really stand for, what they want their living quarters to look
like and represent, what organizations they want to be a part of
(including fraternities/sororities and extracurricular organizations,
etc.), what people they want to associate with, what people they
really care about, what those important people think of them, etc.

This continues after college in terms of what occupations they

have, what people they associate with, what significant other they
join up with, what type of automobile they drive, what
organizations and causes they join up with, what neighborhood

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they eventually move to, how they conduct themselves in their
personal relationships and with their future children, etc.

All of these says something about them; if they are actually aware
of what these characteristics say about them, then they are self-
aware. Self-awareness is being aware of how a person actually
is. It is NOT what they perceive themselves to be if that
perception is actually false, what some call a self-image. For
instance, if a person sees himself/herself as being punctual, but is
often late to appointments and/or meetings, this is a self-image
that isn’t true; it’s not self-awareness. Another example is if
he/she sees himself/herself as a leader, but in truth, he/she lets
others lead and he/she follows- again, this is self-image, not self-
awareness.

Therefore, self-awareness is actually paying attention and

recognizing who you are, what you stand for, etc. It is important
to develop self-awareness and truly knowing who you are so that
you can achieve the greatness you are capable of. The only way
you’re going to do this is if you know who you are and what you
stand for so that you can do tasks and take up occupations that
allow you to focus your energy and efforts on matters that you
believe in and that mean something to you. Such matters differ
for everyone; something related to his/her own family will matter
to one person, something related to his/her career will matter to
another person, something related to the environment and nature
will matter to a third person. There is no right or supreme answer

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for all; it all varies based upon who you are as a person, and
recognizing the differences and knowing what you stand for and
who you are is self-awareness.

To develop self-awareness and truly know who you are takes

some effort and a commitment to actually listen to your
feelings/emotions and find the truth about yourself. As mentioned
before, it is not your self-image, what you think you are; self-
awareness is actually knowing who you are and what you stand
for and believe in. First, you need to be aware of your true
emotions, how you really feel about specific decisions and how
you are living your life. Are you truly living according to your own
emotions, or are you attempting to live up to someone else’s
standards (including your significant other, your children, your
parents, etc.) and rationalizing it as being what you truly want and
believe in?

Really examine your feelings (what some call, “exploring your

gut”) and see if they align with what you are doing. How do you
truly feel about the way your life is going, what you are doing, how
you portray yourself to others, etc.? Are you truly happy, or is
your gut and chest giving you signs that you are not happy with
what you are doing and how you are portraying yourself to others
because it’s not being true to what you stand for? For instance, if
you are wearing the latest fashion trends because everyone else
is doing so, but you prefer simple casual when you are not
working, that would be not living up to your own beliefs, your own

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emotions, but rationalizing that it’s better to wear clothing similar
to what everyone else is wearing. Really recognize how you are
feeling about what you are doing in life.

Second, you need to keep track of your feelings. It’s wise to

make notes of how you are feeling positively and negatively over
the course of several days and even weeks. You can do this in a
notebook, in a journal, in a text file or spreadsheet file, etc. By
doing this, you can spot patterns and trends in your feelings. This
will enable you to better define what really drives you, what
inspires you, what you stand for, and what fears or limitations you
are having that is keeping you from doing the work you’ve always
wanted to do and to achieve your greatest potential.

Third, you need to monitor areas of your life where you believe
you can make the greatest impact on designing the lifestyle you
truly wish to have. You also want to monitor your energy
throughout the day, taking note of the periods where you have the
highest levels of energy. This means the periods where you are
the most focused, the most energized, and have the ability to do
your best work. One additional advantage to tracking your energy
will be that it will give you information on what motivates you and
what drains or depresses you.

It also helps to meditate regularly. This can be formal meditation

where you focus on your breathing, but it can just as simple as

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taking a few moments a day to stop what you are doing, relax,
close your eyes, and just breathe easily for a few minutes.

Reviewing your day and what you are doing each day can also
help you to become more self-aware. Take some time to ask
yourself some questions. Such questions you can ask yourself
include

What you are trying to achieve in life?

How you are going about attempting to achieve those goals?

What tasks are working to help you to achieve those goals?

What tasks are just slowing down your progress?

How can you change the tasks that aren’t working so they can
better help you to achieve your goals?

Doing mundane tasks that don’t require a great deal of

concentration, such as common household chores, can also be a
great way to relax and unwind from the everyday grind of your
occupation. While you are going through the routine of washing
and folding clothes, washing the floors, wiping up the table,
washing the dishes, etc., your mind can subconsciously think
about how your life is progressing, how you feel about your

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progress, and what you can do to improve your progress,
especially if you feel uneasy about that progress.

There are many successful people who write down their key plans
and priorities in order to see if they are making progress on their
goals, if they are getting lucky, and/or if they are not getting better
at progressing toward their own goals. Noted billionaire and
investor Warren Buffet writes down a journal entry detailing why
he is investing in a specific company; he then can go back at a
later time and review the reasons he invested in the company to
see whether the future outcomes of that company’s stock can be
attributed to sound judgment he exhibited or if it was just luck that
led to good fortune.

Another noted person who personally assessed himself for years

is respected investor Li Lu. Like Benjamin Franklin before him, he
would keep a “balance sheet” of the assets and liabilities of his
personal traits. Any time he felt he would learn a new strength
from another person to add to his “profile,” would be added to his
“assets,” while the “liabilities” would be any weaknesses he saw in
himself. He could then assess the “net worth” of his character
over time to see if he was growing as an individual or if he was
falling short of the person he wanted to be.

Another way to become more self-aware is to take a psychometric

test, such as the Myers-Briggs or Predictive Index. Most
psychometric tests are based on the fact that there are no

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particular right or wrong answers, just a consideration of a set of
traits of characteristics that most accurately describe a person
versus other people. One such test is where you are asked if you
are driven more by action or passion, and if your success is
described better by instincts or analytics. Taking such a test can
help you to take a better look at yourself, see what drives you,
and what helps to define you as a person.

Even in self-awareness, it helps to get feedback from people

other than ourselves to assess who we truly are. This means that
we should look to family, friends, and colleagues/co-workers and
ask them to provide honest, objective assessments of who you
are as a person, what they see and think of when they look at you
and when they analyze your life, your actions, and your
achievements. Encourage them to be honest, as they may be
afraid to give you an honest assessment, as chances are that not
all of it will be positive and you may not like hearing some of it, but
knowing what your weaknesses and flaws are can help you to be
aware of them and help you to improve those areas so that you
become a better person and become more of the person you
want to be.

In the workplace, having a good feedback system can help all

become better aware of who they truly are, what strengths they
have, what weaknesses they have, and how to go about
emphasizing one’s strengths and addresses one’s weaknesses.

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Self-awareness is key to doing your best work, and it’s also a key
to being a good leader. If you don’t know who you are, what you
stand for, and what your strengths and weaknesses are, you will
be unsure of how to consistently act, and people will not follow
someone who is unsure of himself/herself, as they look for
guidance and reassurance from a leader by his/her strong actions
and beliefs. Someone who is not self-aware of himself/herself will
not provide the comfort and reassurance most people expect from
a leader.

As mentioned, self-awareness is defined as the ability to perceive

aspects of our personality, behavior, emotions, motivations, and
thought process without self-criticism. In other words, it is our
ability to recognize ourselves without self-criticism. It’s NOT what
we want others to perceive us to be (known as self-image), but
what we actually ARE, how we act, and what we stand for that
others see.

Most people don’t have an idea about their true selves until they
get to junior high school, high school, and college. Beginning with
junior high, we start to get some independence in terms of what
courses we choose to pursue, what friends we associate with,
what groups or organizations we want to belong to, what clothing
and hair styles we want to have, etc. This continues further in
high school where we can choose more of our courses, how we

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choose to manage our time via study halls, what types of first jobs
we get, what clubs, organizations, and causes we get involved
with, etc. Then, as we enter college, we learn more about world
issues, what causes truly inspire us, what career we want to
pursue, what we wish to do with the free time we have, how our
living quarters are arranged, etc.

All of these actions and experiences help to define us, help to let
us know what truly inspires us and motivates us to do our best
work and have our best focus. We learn what actually inspires us
and that some of the inspiration we had earlier in our lives may
have been due to our parents, our early teachers, our friends, etc.
rather than from our own being. We learn what we want to
become in life and what we want to represent to others.

Being aware of your true feelings is key to becoming self-aware.

Some call it “listening to your gut.” Do you feel a sense of calm
and happiness by what you are doing in life, or are you anxious
and irritated because you’re not satisfied by what you are doing?
Paying attention to these feelings and really analyzing the actions
you are taking in life will really help you to become self-aware of
who you really are, what you stand for, and what you want your
legacy to be (i.e. what you want your family, friends, and
colleagues to know and remember you as, both while you are
alive and after you are gone). Becoming self-aware can really aid
you in finding tasks and occupations that will enable you to
employ your greatest skills, achieve your greatest goals, and truly

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feel the most satisfied from the actions you take in life, as you will
be truly living as the person you want to be.

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