INTIMACY IMPRISONED:

INTIMATE HUMAN RELATIONS IN THE HOLOCAUST CAMPS

In fulfillment of

EUH 6990

Dr. Daniel E. Miller

1 December 2000

Donna R. Fluharty
 2

Each person surviving the Holocaust

has their own personal narrative. A

great number of these narratives have

been written; many have been

published. It is important for

personal accounts to be told by each

survivor, as each narrative brings a

different perspective to the combined

history. Knowing this, I dedicate my

research to the narratives I was

unable to read, whether they were

simply unavailable or, unfortunately,

unwritten. More importantly, this

research is dedicated to those whose

stories will never be told.

 3

In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl

states that a human being is able to withstand any condition

if there is sufficient meaning to his existence, a theme

which permeates the entire work.1 For a significant number

of people, the right to this search for meaning was denied

by a Holocaust which took the lives of an undetermined

number of European Jews, war criminals, homosexuals,

Gypsies, children, and mentally or physically handicapped

persons. This denial of humanness was an essential

component of Adolph Hitler’s plan to elevate the Aryan

nation and rid the world of undesirables. In spite of laws

which dictated human associations, through the triumph of

the human spirit, certain prisoners of the Nazi ghettos,

labor camps, and death camps were able to survive. Many of

these survivors have graced the academic and public world

with a written account of their experiences as prisoners of

the Nazis. In these narratives, it is possible to isolate

and examine one aspect of life which might have been a tool

of survival. Intimate relationships are revealed and

described with great clarity in these narratives, and

provide the reader with a broad and enlightening snapshot of

the human spirit, both positive and negative.

Human intimacy can be defined in a number of ways.

Intimacy is first described as a close or warm friendship

1 Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, 4th ed.(Boston:

 4

which is a result of familiarity or physical closeness. The

definition implies that this closeness arises from a sharing

of similar circumstances or physical space. A second

definition is a feeling of being loved and belonging

together. A further definition is a usually secretive or

illicit sexual relationship.2 In the Holocaust narratives,

it is possible to discover powerful examples of each of the

above-mentioned forms of intimacy. The range of human

intimacy is great: from sexual abuse, rape, and unlawful

affairs to sexual desire or activity, physical closeness,

love for family, and friendship. In some cases, this

intimate behavior led to the death of the prisoners, but in

many more cases such intimacy gave hope for the future and

reason to believe in one’s own survival.

The image of forced intimacy is perhaps most consistent

with the widespread image of the deplorable conditions under

which the Nazi’s prisoners lived. While a number of authors

have speculated that rape was fairly uncommon in the camps,

actual instances of abuse and rape are mentioned frequently

in the narratives. In addition, the fear of sexual abuse or

rape was certainly apparent in the dialogue of the female

prisoners and survivors.

Beacon Press, 1992),113.

2 Princeton University WordNet, “Dictionary.com,”
[http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=intimacy],
1997.
 5

Sexual abuse by the German occupiers has been

documented by a great many survivors. In the early days of

the Warsaw ghetto, survivor Mary Berg described the cruelty

of the Germans. She wrote, “They are beginning to kidnap

young boys and girls to use in their nightmarish

‘entertainments.’” She also described the body searches

which were conducted, stating, “the women were kept naked

for more than two hours while the Nazis put their revolvers

to their breasts and private parts and threatened to shoot

them if they did not disgorge dollars or diamonds.”3

A similar, and more definitive, account from the Warsaw

ghetto is related by Abraham Lewin. He recalls an early

afternoon when approximately two hundred Germans, airforce,

and other officers came into the ghetto and gathered a large

number of Jewish men and women. In a nearby small

courtyard, those chosen were forced to strip. They were

paired off by the Germans, matching “young girls to old men,

and conversely, young boys with old women” and were forced

to commit sexual acts. These acts were filmed by the

Nazis.4

Occasionally the abuse was designed merely to humiliate

the prisoner. One such instance involved a German male

3 S. L. Shneiderman, ed., Warsaw Ghetto: A Diary by Mary

Berg (New York: L. B. Fischer, 1945), 23, 46.
4 Abraham Lewin, A Cup of Tears: A Diary of the Warsaw
Ghetto, ed. by Antony Polonsky, trans. by Christopher
 6

political prisoner in a death camp who was caught sending

love letters to a female prisoner. The Schutzstaffel (SS),

elite Nazi German troops, intercepted one of the letters and

at evening roll call the man was forced to “strip naked and

run around the parade ground, stopping every fifty yards to

masturbate at gunpoint.”5

Often this forced intimacy was more violent in nature.

A number of authors maintain that rape of the prisoners was

rather uncommon, as German law forbade racial defilement

through inter-racial coupling, especially with persons of

the Jewish race.6 In spite of such laws, instances of rape

were numerous, and not limited to women. It is also

possible that many more rapes occurred than are reported, as

many of the victims were murdered after the sexual assault

to cover the crime. Also, some survivors indicated a

hesitation to discuss these brutal occurrences.

These sexual assaults occurred in each level of

occupation and imprisonment, and took place even among those

who were in hiding. In an oral interview, a Jewish survivor

named Pauline described being molested by the male members

of the family who were hiding her and her family. She was

Hutton (Oxford: Basil Blackwell in association with the

Institute for Polish-Jewish Studies, 1988), 71-72.
5 Eugene Aroneanu, compiler, Inside the Concentration
Camps: Eyewitness Accounts of Life in Hitler’s Death Camps,
trans. by Thomas Whissen (Westport, CN: Praeger, 1996), 35.
6 Dalia Ofer and Lenore J. Weitzman, eds., Women in the
Holocaust (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998), p. 8.
 7

only eleven years old at the time, and feared the threat of

exposure if she related the incidents to her family.7 The

uncle of another survivor told his young niece that he “had

witnessed the mass raping of Jewish girls who were buried

alive in mass graves that they had dug.”8 This occurred in

a forested area near their small village which was occupied

by the Germans. Rape by the Gestapo was also documented in

the Grodno ghetto,9 by German commanders in the Skarzysko

camp,10 and by the SS in the death camps.

In the ammunition work camps at Skarzysko, one survivor

relates that the German commanders “were reluctant to

deprive themselves of any of life’s pleasures” and

individually and collectively raped Jewish inmates. Fritz

Bartenschlaer, Werkschutz commander, frequently attended

selections to choose women to serve at his dinners and be

raped by the guests, including SS district commander Herbert

7 Joan Ringelheim, “The Split Between Gender and the

Holocaust,” chap. in Women in the Holocaust, eds. Dalia Ofer
and Lenore J. Weitzman (New Haven: Yale University Press,
1998), 342.
8 Myrna Goldenberg, “Memoirs of Auschwitz Survivors: The
Burden of Gender,” chap. in Women in the Holocaust, eds.
Dalia Ofer and Lenore J. Weitzman (New Haven: Yale
University Press, 1998), 336.
9 Liza Chapnik, “The Grodno Ghetto and its Underground: A
Personal Narrative,” chap. in Women in the Holocaust, eds.
Dalia Ofer and Lenore J. Weitzman (New Haven: Yale
University Press, 1998), 113.
10 Ofer and Weitzman, 8.
 8

Boettcher and Radom SS commander Franz Shippers. These

women were then murdered.11

In a 1946 oral interview with a survivor, it was

apparent that the woman was uncomfortable discussing the

rape of fellow prisoners. She did describe a German

civilian foreman who occasionally raped Jewish workers and

then shot them so there would be no evidence of race

defilement. She also stated that rape was officially

prohibited in the work camp, but many girls disappeared.12

Auschwitz survivor Ruth Elias stated her belief that

the SS did not consider rape of Jewish women to be

Rassenschande (race defilement), as the women were to die

before the possibility of procreation. She described hiding

in the upper tier of her bunk to avoid selection by drunken

SS men who came into the block seeking sexual partners. To

her knowledge, no woman offered resistance as the threat of

being severely beaten was well known to the prisoners.13

Catholic priest Joseph Tyl described one SS guard at

Auschwitz as a pervert and sex maniac who raped young Jewish

11 Felicja Karay, “Women in the Forced-Labor Camps,” chap.

in Women in the Holocaust, eds. Dalia Ofer and Lenore J.
Weitzman (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998), 291.
12 Donald L. Niewyk, Fresh Wounds: Early Narratives of
Holocaust Survival (Chapel Hill: University of North
Carolina Press, 1998), 221.
13 Ruth Elias, Triumph of Hope: From Theresienstadt and
Auschwitz to Israel, trans. from the German by Margot
Bettauer Dembo (Washington, DC: in association with the
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, 1998), 120.
 9

girls and then killed them with pleasure.14 An Auschwitz

report of the Russian section contains testimony that women

and young girls who were healthy and pretty were selected by

the SS guards and taken “to a special barracks where the SS

guards raped them until they were half dead” and were then

sent to the ovens.15

One difficulty in establishing the frequency of such

occurrences is the hesitancy of some victims to discuss

their treatment. One interviewer relates that three years

after her initial interview of Susan, she visited the former

Auschwitz prisoner in her home. In the course of normal

conversation, Susan suddenly stated that she had been raped

at Auschwitz. Susan then returned to the previous topic of

conversation and did not chose to offer more information

regarding her sexual abuse.16

There are also accounts of forced homosexual

intimacies. Although Paragraph 175 of the German Penal Code

defined homosexuality as a criminal act, German officials in

the camps considered “opportunistic” homosexuality, or

homosexual activity by heterosexual guards lacking the

physical availability of women, to be legal.17 Auschwitz

survivor and physician Samuel Steinberg indicated that

14 Aroneanu, 34.
15 Ibid., 30.
16 Ringelheim, 341.
 10

selected young male Jews were held in the camp for the Kapos

who “used them to gratify their lust.18 The German penal

code had no such law regarding lesbian activity.19

Henriette Carier-Worms, also a survivor of Auschwitz,

described women officers who took “their pleasure with Gypsy

women, who then received special treatment,” which was not

always a favorable outcome in the death camps.20 A German

survivor of camp Zillertal in Riesengebirge described

similar occurrences: “I think one of the SS women was a

lesbian. She liked to invite young girls to her room. She

was a young stunning woman.”21

Rumors of rape were widespread, and one Jewish girl

whose home was occupied by Nazi soldiers told her mother

that she “feared rape more than death and wanted to take

poison with her” as they left their home.22 Another Jewish

woman used her knowledge of the sexual abuse of prisoners to

entrap SS Sergeant Josef Schillinger. The woman saw that

Schillinger was watching her excitedly as she exited the

selection ramp, and she returned his gaze provocatively. As

the guard reached for her, she twisted towards him, causing

17 Anton Gill, The Journey Back From Hell: An Oral History

Conversations with Concentration Camp Survivors (New York:
William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1988), 34.
18 Aroneanu, 31.
19 Gill, fn 13, 34.
20 Aroneanu, 30.
21 Brana Gurewitsch, ed., Mothers, Sisters, Resisters: Oral
Histories of Women Who Survived the Holocaust (Tuscaloosa:
University of Alabama Press, 1998), 69.
 11

him to drop his pistol. She picked up the pistol and shot

him several times. She was subdued by other guards and sent

to the gas chamber. Schillinger died of his wounds.23 In a

similar case, an Eastern European, Jewish female dancer

performed a very seductive strip tease as she undressed to

enter the gas chamber. Two SS guards drew close to her.

She hit one guard with her shoe, dislodging his gun, and

then fatally shot the other guard. In this case, the body

of the dancer was left on display in the dissecting room for

other SS men to view as a warning.24

While it is impossible to determine the frequency of

abuse and rape of Nazi prisoners, it can be assumed that

another type of forced intimacy was much more common. Many

prisoners chose to provide sexual intimacy for guards, or

other privileged prisoners, who would then provide them some

level of protection. Often this was a choice in word only,

as the prisoners were generally unable to refuse. It should

be clearly understood that this was not a question of

morality, but a hope for survival.

Perhaps the best example of this type of forced

intimacy can be seen in the accounts relating to the camp

22 Goldenberg, 336.
23 Otto Friedrich, The Kingdom of Auschwitz (New York:
Harper Perennial, 1982), 27-28.
24 Filip Muller with literary collaboration by Helmut
Freitag, Eyewitness Auschwitz: Three Years in the Gas
Chamber, ed. and trans. by Susanne Flatauer (Chicago: Ivan
R. Dee, 1979), 87.
 12

and ghetto brothels. Many of the women who lived in the camp

brothels were selected upon arrival at the camp. Some were

branded above their breasts as feld-hure, or field whores.

Women who refused were occasionally given to the Ukrainian

guards, who convinced the women through sexual torture that

they should comply with the wishes of the SS.25 Italian

Jewish survivor Primo Levi described Block 29 Frauenblock,

or camp brothel at Auschwitz, as being served by Polish

Haftling women.26 In Auschwitz, the camp brothel was known

as the “puff” and was primarily reserved for the SS and

select prisoners who had “earned chits for good behavior.”27

Survivor and physician Charles Cliquet described an

Auschwitz brothel reserved for prisoners who had survived

three years or more. With a note from a doctor, the

prisoner was allowed to go to the brothel after roll call to

purchase intimacy.28

In some cases, these prostitutes were given not only

protection from death, but other niceties and privileges as

well. These women were allowed to grow their hair to longer

lengths and dress in handsome clothes. French survivor,

Fania Fenelon, describes a party the prostitutes at

25 Donald Grey Brownlow and John Eleuthere du Pont, Hell Was

My Home: Arnold Shay, Survivor of the Holocaust (West
Hanover, MA: The Christopher Publishing House, 1983), 118.
26 Primo Levi, Survival in Auschwitz: The Nazi Assault on
Humanity, trans. from the Italian by Stuart Wolfe (New
York: Simon & Schuster, 1996.
27 Friedrich, 28.
 13

Auschwitz gave for themselves. An orchestra was hired to

play for the party, and the women, some dressed as men,

danced, drank, and “pawed at each other” long into the

night.29 Although many women were spared death in the gas

chambers through such behaviors, and some even granted their

freedom, there was a price to pay after the liberation.30

One such “collaborator” who earned her privileged position

at Auschwitz by fraternizing with a ghetto commandant “won’t

talk about the camp because she survived the wrong way

there, and for years afterwards she lived in mortal fear of

reprisals against her, even though she was relatively

innocent.”31

Men were also forced into intimate behaviors in

exchange for protection. Male Kapos and Block Chiefs often

saved young boys from extermination for their own sexual

pleasure. These boys, known as Piepels, were aware that

their status was tenuous but were thankful for the prestige

and freedom such status afforded them.32 Occasionally a

prisoner was able to reject homosexual advances due to his

own status in the camp. Rudolf Vrba, Slovak Jew who later

escaped from Auschwitz, described his rejection of Block

28 Aroneanu, 30.
29 Friedrich, 44-45.
30 Roy D. Tannenbaum as told to him by Sigmund Sobolewski,
Prisoner 88: The Man in Stripes (Calgary: University of
Calgary Press, 1998), 44.
31 Gill, 150.
32 Brownlow and duPont, 109.
 14

Senior, Ivan the Terrible. Ivan tempted Vrba with food and

drink, then suggested that Vrba should sleep in his large

room. After Vrba declined, he attempted to protect himself

from Ivan’s anger by placing tin cans around his bunk. He

wrote, “I knew he would not dare to murder me during the day

because he realized I had powerful friends and would not be

easy to handle anyway; but at night it was different….I was

determined that I was not going to die in bed at the hands

of a homosexual murderer.”33

Males were chosen not only for homosexual intimacy.

Arnold Shay described his selection as a sexual partner for

Lisa, a twenty-two year old, attractive SS warden. Shay was

taken to Lisa’s home, bathed and fed, and required to

“satisfy Lisa’s sexual desires.” For a period of time, Shay

was assigned work duties close to the camp so he would be

available for such service. This occurred four or five

times. He was then given the privilege of having sexual

relations with women prisoners. His status was so high that

he violently rejected the homosexual advances of Kapo Otto

Locke without impunity.34

Frequently the choice to barter one’s sexuality was

less institutionalized. In the Warsaw ghetto, Café

Hirschfeld was a gathering place for members of the Gestapo

33Rudolf Vrba with Alan Bestic, I Cannot Forgive

(Vancouver, British Columbia: Regent College Publishing,
1997), 179.
 15

who would purchase food for young girls who would pay with

sexual favors.35 In the Plaszow Concentration Camp, young

girls used an empty barrack designated as a workshop during

the day to provide sexual services to Jewish policemen with

bread or sugar to trade. When asked why they prostituted

themselves, the girls replied, “I don’t want to die a

virgin. If you knew what fun we have, you would do the

same, what difference does it make what we do as long as we

get extra food?”36 Similar transactions are recorded for

inmates at Bergen-Belsen.37 This practice was so widespread

among the prisoners that a couplet was sang about the girls

behavior:

For soup, for soup

For a piece of bread
Girls will spread their …
Just between you and me,
They’ll do it even
When there’s no need.38

This practice was not limited to female prisoners, as one

male prisoner at Auschwitz stated that he “made love to a

Gypsy woman in order to get some food.”39 From a gender

standpoint, his choice of words is interesting.

34 Ibid., 119-120.
35 Shneiderman, 89.
36 Erna F. Rubenstein, The Survivor in Us All: A Memoir of
the Holocaust (Hamden, CN: Archon Books, 1983), 102.
37 Hanna Levy-Hass, Inside Belsen, trans. from the German by
Ronald Taylor (Sussex: The Harvester Press, 1982), p. 59.
38 Karay, 296.
39 Gill, 389.
 16

The SS and guards themselves often had unforced

intimate relationships with other guards or prisoners. At

the Skarzysko work camp, many such relationships were

described between German workers and Nazi prisoners. While

many prisoners knew of these illicit affairs, they did not

report them to the authorities.40 During a transfer of

prisoners to Breslau, a male and female SS guard, had

intimate relations in a corner of the train car filled with

prisoners.41 Another intimate affair led to marriage after

the war. Lucille E. related that the Jewish Kapo in her

barracks at Auschwitz was rumored to have an SS lover who

visited her small cubicle every night. The inmates were

unsure as to the truth of this rumor, as the barracks were

very dark at night. After the war, Lucille happened to see

and talk to the same woman at a department store in New

York. The ex-Kapo told Lucille that she and the SS man had

married after he followed her from camp to camp as the war

neared its end. She said they married because they shared

the same past.42

It should come as no surprise that the highest echelon

of camp administration, wielding great power, had illicit

affairs as well. These administrators and SS officers were

drafted for concentration camp duty early in the war, after

40 Karay, 289-290.
41 Niewyk, 320.
 17

meeting stringent requirements for racial purity and

behaviors uplifting the Aryan nation.43 As larger camps were

created, SS members who had experience in the smaller camps

were transferred to a position of greater power. Some of

these men were cautious in breaking German and camp

regulations, as they did not wish to risk transfer from

their elevated positions. Others, however, seemed to be

above the law and acted as they pleased.44 Rudolf Hoess,

commandant at Auschwitz, is reported to have had an affair

with an Italian prisoner named Eleonore Hodys. Hoess

eventually tired of his lover and sent her to Block 11,

where female inmates awaited death. When Eleonore

discovered she was pregnant, Hoess was notified, and he

ordered her to be gassed. Although another, more

sympathetic officer, Maximilian Grabner, saved Eleonore from

the gas chamber, she was later murdered by the SS in

Munich.45 Grabner’s sympathy stemmed perhaps from the fact

that he was under investigation for his alleged affair with

a female prisoner.46 The punishment for such illicit

affairs was frequently a transfer to a more dangerous duty

42 Holocaust Oral History Project, “Lucille E.,”

[http://remember.org/witness/wit.sur.luc.html].
43 Dr. Elie A. Cohen, Human Behavior in the Concentration
Camp, trans. from the Dutch by M. H. Braaksma (New York:
Grosset & Dunlap, 1953), 214-216.
44 Robert Lewis Koehl, The Black Corps: The Structure and
Power Struggles of the Nazi SS (Madison, WI: University of
Wisconsin Press, 1983), 166-167.
45 Friedrich, 50.
 18

station. Rapportfuhrer Gerhard Pallitzsch, investigated for

an unlawful sexual alliance, was transferred from a small

sub-camp in Brno, Czechoslovakia to an SS unit in Hungary,

where he was killed near Budapest.47 Even for the SS,

intimacy had its cost.

Perhaps more contradictory to the common conception of

everyday camp life, and even more important to the quality

of camp life and the inner desire to struggle for survival,

were the intimate sexual relationships that occurred among

the prisoners themselves. While a number of noted

researchers and survivors have suggested that the drive for

food and the resulting constant state of malnourishment

overshadowed the desire for sexual fulfillment, the survivor

narratives are filled with instances of intimate sexual

thoughts and desires.48 It is important to note that this

sexual activity was not always positive, with some unusual

sexual activity occurring perhaps as a result of the

intolerable stress the majority of the prisoners were living

with in the war time conditions. Even so, in most cases the

intimate relationships between prisoners were loving and

hopeful.

46 Ibid., 26, 50.

47 Ibid., 63
48 See Dr. Elie A. Cohen, Human Behavior in the
Concentration Camps. Also, this subject is explored in
Anton Gill, The Journey Back From Hell: An Oral History
Conversations with Concentration Camp Survivors.
 19

In an examination of these intimate behaviors among

Nazi prisoners, it is once again important to leave

unquestioned the morality of those who chose to engage in

such behaviors. This non-judgmental approach is best

explained by the inmates themselves. One male inmate

questioned, “What do I, barely twenty one, know of complex

morality? Inside the camp, this love was very positive:

gratitude in the midst of agony. … In the abyss, our few

seconds of love gave meaning to an existence otherwise

lacking all purpose.”49 Another inmate stressed the desire

to live life to the fullest, seizing every opportunity for

human experiences. She wrote, “The desire for human

closeness and touch, for physical love was especially

strong. It was amazing that even in our state of constant

malnourishment this longing for love was so powerful. Love

meant life.”50 Physical intimacy was an attempt by some to

reestablish their humanity in a very desperate situation.

This desire for physical intimacy is evidenced in every

type of Nazi imprisonment, even in those who were forced

into hiding by Nazi occupation of their villages or

countries. Most people are familiar with the budding

romance and sexual tension between Anne Frank and Peter

which she tenderly described in her well known diary, Anne

49 Tannenbaum, 47.
50 Elais, 99.
 20

Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.51 Anne Franks’ post-

humus step-sister Eva related another story from hiding in

Amsterdam, where she and her brother, Heinz, shared a small

attic room. She wrote,

In the darkness I would creep over to his bed and climb

in next to him for a cuddle. We started kissing and
hugging with the joy of being together again, until all
our suppressed energy and budding sexuality began to
arouse us. The kissing and cuddling became more and
more furtively pleasant. We would start to pet each
other, feeling blissful surges of adolescent love. We
did not really do anything wrong and we were very
scared that our parents would find out what we were up
to, but we could not help ourselves. We only had each
other to love.52

These were not ordinary times, and many other young people,

unsure of their sexuality, probably had similar experiences

which have not been committed to writing.

Another group who were not actual Nazi prisoners, but

whose lives were significantly altered by the Nazi

imprisonment of their states were those who joined partisan

groups. Intimate relationships had special significance in

these groups. The Russian partisan units roaming the

Belorussian forests were comprised of only two to five

percent women, most of whom were Jewish. Christian women

generally joined the unit to remain with a man she loved.

51These romantic feelings and desires are throughout the

diary, Anne Frank, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl,
trans. from the Dutch by B. M. Mooyaart-Doubleday (N.p.:
Otto Frank (Anne’s father), 1952, New York: Pocket Books,
1972.
 21

Jewish women, however, attempted to join the group to avoid

deportation and death. The only realistic means for joining

the Russian partisan units was to provide sexual intimacy to

the male partisan members. In most cases, the men ‘married’

these women, and the women gained status equal to the

stature of their ‘husband.’ Unfairly, the men considered

all these women to be whores, and expected sexual payment

for any favors performed for them. For the most part, the

women were not allowed to participate in any gainful

activities, so they remained dependent on this sexual barter

system.53

In one special partisan group in the Belorussian

forest, the Bielski otriad, women were admitted on the same

basis as men. This unit was established by the Jewish

Bielski brothers and operated much like a family camp. A

woman entering the camp with no special skill was known as a

malbush, a hanger-on, and remained such until she became

attached to a male member of the group. Usually higher-

class Jewish women found themselves attached to lower-class

Jewish men. Occasionally a woman was allowed to join an

established family unit without attachment to a specific

male. Sulia Rubin, due to her pre-war elite social station,

52Eva Schloss with Evelyn Julia Kent, Eva’s Story: A

Survivor’s Tale by the Step-sister of Anne Frank (New York:
St. Martin’s Press, 1988), 45-46.
 22

did not attach herself to a male.54 Even so, this was very

difficult. Celia K., a Polish survivor, spent the war in a

partisan camp unattached. In the post-war period, she was

anxious to get married so someone could take care of her.

Her energies had been spent in caring for herself in the

partisan camp.55

Approximately sixty percent of the adults in the

Bielski otriad lived together as husband and wife, without

benefit of an official wedding. While the men were the ones

to chose the partnership, no women were forced into such

relationships and there are no reported rapes.56 Although

these relationships were established based on a need for

protection, many of these couples remained married after the

war. The intimacy shared in the forest created a bond that

was lasting.57

In ghettos and transport camps, there was usually more

opportunity for intimate relationships between prisoners

than in the labor and death camps. This is perhaps due to

less stringent separation of the sexes. Even so, the

prisoners were faced with overcrowded conditions,

53 Nechama Tec, “Women Among the Forest Partisans,” chap. in

Women in the Holocaust, eds. Dalia Ofer and Lenore J.
Weitzman (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998), 225-226.
54 Ibid., 229.
55 Joshua M. Greene and Shiva Kumar, eds., in consultation
with Joanne Weiner Rudof, Witness: Voices From the
Holocaust (New York: The Free Press, 2000), 228-229.
56 Tec, “Women Among the Forest Partisans”, 228-229.
 23

restrictions, and threats from Nazi guards. Still, the

desire for intimacy is obvious in the writings of Erna

Rubenstien, Polish Jew and survivor. She wrote about Krakow

ghetto, “However in spite of the life-denying influences

affecting us daily, in spite of every outward assault

divesting us of our humanity, a strange atmosphere was

developing in the ghetto. More keenly than ever, everyone

could feel the vital need for love, for friendship, for

solace.”58 So the prisoners sought intimacy.

In the Lodz ghetto, there were eight to ten people per

room, so intimate sexual relations between married couples

was difficult.59 However according to one survivor, because

men and women were housed together, many couples continued

sexual intimacy without embarrassment.60 Frequently, young

people in the Lodz ghetto found outlets for their budding

sexuality in the youth movements. They did not have the

same burdens as their parents, and had more freedom to join

resistance movements, where perhaps their passions were

ignited both for the movement and for one another.61

57 Nechama Tec, “Women in the Forests,”

[http://www.interlog.com/~mighty/forest.htm].
58 Rubenstein, 65.
59 Michael Unger, “The Status and Plight of Women in the
Lodz Ghetto,” chap. in Women in the Holocaust, eds. Dalia
Ofer and Lenore J. Weitzman (New Haven: Yale University
Press, 1998), 138.
60 Niewyk, 304.
61 Chapnik, 138
 24

This passion was described by Gusta Draenger in her

diary of the resistance movement to which she and her

husband belonged while prisoners of the Krakow ghetto. She

altered the names of people in her diary which she wrote in

the third person. She wrote,

Their consciousness of the imminence of death

intensified their emotions. Nearly everyone had lost
home and family. The group had become the last refuge
on their mortal journey, the last port for their
innermost feelings, to which they now clung with all
their might. The more their faith in humanity was
diminished by the spreading violence and humiliation,
the stronger their faith grew in each other, to the
exclusion of all else. They loved one another with a
unique devotion.62

Gusta’s sister-in-law was the youngest member of the

resistance movement, but her emotions were intense, and she

was “as decisive and determined in her relationship with

Poldek [her boyfriend and member of the group] as she was in

her work for the cause.”63 Gusta suggests that “all the

love that would have been given to their murdered families

had been displaced on their commrades,” and was deepened by

their knowledge of the seriousness of their situation.64

Many new intimate relationships were established in the

Warsaw ghetto. One survivor remembers, “Men and women are

attracted to each other even more than in normal times, as

62 Gusta Davidson Draenger, Justyna’s Narrative, edited with

an Introduction by Eli Pfefferkorn and David H. Hirsch,
trans. by Roslyn Hirsch and David H. Hirsch (Amherst:
University of Massachusetts Press, 1996), 61.
63 Ibid., 76.
64 Ibid., 119.
 25

though thirsty for protection and tenderness.”65 A frequent

situation found an older man living with a younger girl.

Both benefited from this relationship, with intimacy helping

to ease both their fears and the drudgery of day to day

life. One young girl described her relationship in light of

her inability to marry without permission from her parents,

“That doesn’t matter. We’re married anyway. No rabbi will

ever be able to express in any document a union as strong as

that which joins us, now and forever.”66 Looking forward to

a future together perhaps increased the young couple’s

chance for survival.

Unfortunately, all intimate relationships were not

sustained in the crowded conditions of the ghetto. American

citizen, and Warsaw ghetto survivor, Mary Berg attended a

play in the ghetto entitled Love Looks for an Apartment.

The play was meant to bring humor to a situation which was a

tragedy in real life. A young couple searches for an

apartment, and finally decide to share a room with another

couple. Both couples are having difficulties with their

relationships, and the result is two illicit love affairs.

Due to the lack of privacy, the couples all realize what has

happened, and the husbands exchange wives for a while.

Ultimately, the husbands begin to quarrel with their

65 Shneiderman, 110.
66 Ibid., 110, 139.
 26

original partners and all four young people are evicted.67

The theme of this play was certainly based on real life

situations observed by its creator.

In Theresienstadt, men and women were housed in

separate barracks, but the ghetto police sometimes allowed

men into the women’s barracks or served as couriers,

carrying letters back and forth between the camps.68 One

female survivor, eighteen at the time of her imprisonment,

stated that “young couples longed most of all for physical

closeness, for an embrace, for warmth, for comfort.”69

Cultural activity was rampant in the transit camp, and the

importance of intimate relationships was preserved in a song

with the following chorus: “If we really want to, we’ll

make it through, hand in hand, joined as one.”70 Many

weddings took place in the camp, especially in Fall 1941, as

prisoners hoped that their marriage would ensure that they

would be together in the ever escalating transports East.71

Ruth Elias was married to her pre-war friend, Koni, who was

a policeman in the camp. She enjoyed his protection before

67 Ibid., 109.
68 Elais, 69, 74.
69 Ruth Bondy, “Women in Theresienstadt and the Family Camp
in Birkenau,” chap. in Women in the Holocaust, eds. Dalia
Ofer and Lenore J. Weitzman (New Haven: Yale University
Press, 1998), 320.
70 Elias, 86.
71 Bondy, 316.
 27

her transport to Auschwitz, where the couple became

estranged.72

After a period of time, the segregation of men and

women relaxed somewhat. Even so, privacy was an issue for

young lovers, who, when able, would lie together on a bunk

and perform intimate sexual acts in the light of day. When

the Theresienstadt barracks were overcrowded, many couples

built wooden structures in the attics of vacated houses,

where they might have some semblance of privacy for a brief

time.73 Young men who had skills valuable to the camp, such

as baking or cooking, did not always have the above

problems. They had their own private spaces and could offer

protection to those under their care. For this reason,

these men always had willing lovers.74

In a number of camps, German Jews and other ethnic

Jewish populations were isolated from one another both

physically and emotionally, as the Germans often considered

themselves Germans first and, therefore, more victimized by

their imprisonment. In Riga, the Latvian Jews were housed

in the Little Ghetto, while the German Jews were in separate

quarters. The guards encouraged animosity between the two

groups, who frequently worked together in nearby factories.

Survivor Boris Kacel describes the positive influence of

72 Elias, 75, 118.

73 Ibid., 99.
74 Bondy, 320.
 28

intimate relations which eventually developed between the

two groups as they worked side by side: “The relationship

between the two groups improved considerably, and our men

began to visit the other ghetto regularly….In time, love

affairs even took place between some of our men and the

female yekes [German Jews]. Some couples were so madly in

love that they supported each other as husband and wife in

their daily struggle for food and survival.”75

In the Plaszow Camp, the girls would hide in the boy’s

barracks before the curfew. Hidden in the beds, the girls

spent the night making love to these boys, “pretending no

one could see them or hear them.”76 One survivor states

that “the line between life and death was extremely thin,

and one could only cross it with a determination to live, to

survive, with the inner power drawn by some from love or the

tremendous power of faith and infinite prayer. Wherever

this power came from, it helped many to survive and to take

from life whatever there was left to take.”77 For these

young girls and boys, deprived of a normal courtship, it is

possible that these intimate moments gave them new strength

for survival.

75 Boris Kacel, From Hell to Redemption: A Memoir of the

Holocaust (Niwot, CO: University of Colorado Press, 1998),
55-56.
76 Rubenstein, 102.
77 Ibid., 101.
 29

An elaborate culture evolved concerning intimate

relationships between prisoners at the forced-labor camp

Skarzysko. During the initial phases of the camp, rations

were low, and lesser inmates sought the protection and

assistance of local “prominents.” Relationships, with male

lovers called kuzyns (cousins), were widespread and were not

always limited to fellow inmates, but also included Polish

co-workers. Later in the course of the war when camp

officials realized that the flow of incoming labor was to

continue to slow, camp conditions improved. This allowed

the average prisoner to seek a kuzynka, or female lover. On

occasion, a female prisoner who had a high position was able

to choose her own kuzyn. When a prisoner found an

appropriate partner, they were faced with the problem of

privacy. Partitions could be seen around individual bunks,

leading to the term “bunk romances.” While some prisoners

rejected these intimate relationships, they eventually

became accustomed to the camp culture. This acceptance did

not prevent worried parents from intervening to protect the

virtue of a young daughter. Jewish worker Marilka’s parents

arranged for their daughter to marry her fiance in the camp

to avoid the depravity of the kuzyn relationships. It

should be noted that these relationships were seen as “an

 30

important manifestation of the will to survive,” and often

led to marriage after the war.78

Some married couples also fell prey to this camp

culture, and love triangles were not uncommon. A camp song

brings humor to the situation:

Come, I have a secret to tell

The “cousin here don’t go so well!
They dance on two fronts in their life
They have a “cousin” and a wife!79

Occasionally this love triangle was a result of a strong

intimate relationship with a spouse. One woman, whose

husband fell gravely ill, became a kuzynka to provide needed

food and money to help her husband regain his health. As a

result of her sacrifice, her husband recovered, but had

difficulty forgiving his wife for her infidelity.80

Another example shows that not every intimate

relationship was positive. The transit camp Westerbork, in

Holland, was described by Aryan officer Wohl as having an

extraordinary erotic atmosphere. Many marriages were

destroyed by infidelity, or by the lack of privacy for

normal intimate relations. The barracks reserved for

unmarried adults of both sexes “was the scene of unbridled

sex.”81 Couples performed the sex act without regard for

onlookers, even young children. While it cannot be proven,

78 Karay, 297.
79 Ibid.
80 Ibid.,296-298.
 31

it is possible that the camp prisoners sensed their

destruction and sought to seek pleasure before it was too

late.82 Of the 104,000 Jews who passed through Westerbork,

only 909 survived.83

Other prisoners, who might have been inexperienced in

human intimacy, or perhaps unable to mingle with persons of

the opposite sex, turned to other forms of sexuality.

Jezyk, a thirteen year old boy, who arrived at Treblinka

from the Warsaw ghetto, was alone as his parents were

imprisoned elsewhere, was heard masturbating each night.

His bunk mate told survivor Samuel Willenberg of this sexual

activity, which was cause for punishment if discovered.

Willenberg replied “that if it gave the boy pleasure, he

might as well continue - it was one of the few pleasures

left to him.”84 A survivor from a satellite camp of

Buchenwald described the disheartened condition of the women

who suddenly found themselves alone without their spouses.

She remembered that the women who had been in the camp only

for a short time, would naturally try to “comfort one

another with caresses and physical closeness.”85 The

81 Jacob Boas, Boulevard des Miseres: The Story of Transit

Camp Westerbork (Hamden, CN.: Archon Books, 1985), 71-72.
82 Ibid., 72.
83 Ibid., 3.
84 Samuel Willenberg, Surviving Treblinka, ed. by Wladyslaw
T. Bartoszewski, trans. by Naftali Greenwood (Oxford: Basil
Blackwell in association with the Institute for Polish-
Jewish Studies, 1989), 58-59.
85 Elias, 168.
 32

inmates ultimately realized that some of the women were

lesbians, but did not condemn the women for this type of

intimacy. Ruth stated that, “Living in such unnatural

circumstances, we did not feel that we had the right to pass

judgement. Each of us yearned for closeness, belonging, and

love.”86 While lesbianism was not documented in the

narratives to the same degree as homosexuality, it was

common enough for prison jargon to create terms for

describing these women. The male partner in the lesbian

relationship was called a Jule. The Jules would carve

crosses, called croix des vaches, on the foreheads of their

female partners to identify their relationships.87

Perhaps the most poignant instances of intimacy between

prisoners are described by the inmates at the death camp,

Auschwitz. Shortly after arriving at Auschwitz, if not

before, the prisoners realized the possibility of death by

gassing as their ultimate fate. It also became evident that

any deviation from acceptable behavior might result in

immediate death. For some prisoners intimacy served as

solace in a hostile environment; a focus on the future

rather than the present. For others, intimacy was a final

gesture of love in the face of death. In each instance,

this intimacy was a reminder of the prisoners’ humanity.

86 Ibid.
87 Gill, 327.
 33

The reality of their situation often began for the

prisoners as they were packed into rail cars for their

transport to Auschwitz. The conditions of these transports

are commonly known. Even in these conditions, intimacy was

allowed and honored. Slovak Jew Rudolf Vrba, wrote of a

young couple, the Tomasovs, who were married the evening

before the transport. The young couple had married hoping

that Monsignor Tiso’s promise of keeping families together

would be true. Vrba knew the young male, as they came from

the same village. As word of the marriage passed through

the overcrowded car, the other prisoners joined Vrba in

toasting the bride and groom, showering them with gifts from

their meager personal possessions. Later, the group

arranged a private “bridal suite” for the couple, who were

then able to consummate their marriage.88 Unfortunately,

the young couple was separated at selection ramp at

Auschwitz, and there is no indication that they survived.89

French Jew, Dr. Jacques Pach, had a similar experience.

His wife was Aryan, and although she attempted to join her

husband on the transport to Auschwitz, she was physically

removed from the train by the SS. Once at the camp, Pach

found great comfort in the pictures of his wife which he had

smuggled into the camp. He was observed commemorating his

wedding anniversary, gazing at the photograph of his wife by

88 Vrba, 47-48.
 34

the light of a candle. The hope of returning to his loved

one undoubtedly gave him reason to struggle for survival.90

Once imprisoned at Auschwitz, a number of factors

affected sexual intimacy, including hunger, stress, and

unavailability of the opposite sex. While these factors

definitely affected the desire for sexual intimacy, many

narratives contain touching references to intimate thoughts

and desires toward loved ones or fellow prisoners. It is in

these references that one can discern the true beauty of the

intimate acts among men and women who refused to lose that

spark of humanity deep within their hearts and souls.

Among those prisoners who were isolated from members of

the opposite sex, survivors described a longing for

intimacy. Judith, an Auschwitz survivor, stated, “Toward

winter, as they were fed thicker soup and occasional pieces

of meat, some of the women resumed menstruating, and their

fantasies turned to thoughts of men. Sharing such dreams

linked them to each other and to the future.”91 Male

survivors related similar experiences. After receiving

extra rations in their work areas, a group of male inmates

felt satiated, and one remarked that “at least for a few

hours, no quarrels arise, we feel good, the Kapo feels no

urge to hit us, and we are able to think of our mothers and

89 Ibid., 57.
90 Muller, 63-64.
91 Goldenberg, 334.
 35

wives, which usually does not happen. For a few hours, we

can be unhappy in the manner of free men.”92 It is

probable, and supported by examples found in other

narratives, that when the two sexes had more contact, lack

of food did not cause quite the diminishment of the libido.

One survivor stated that “love makes you inventive,”

and this was especially true in the death camps where many

prisoners found a way to engage in intimate relationships.93

Auschwitz survivor Ruth Elias wrote of the strength of their

desires,

We were young, and we wanted to live. We wanted to

talk with our loved ones and give them courage, to hold
each other tight, to be as close as we could to each
other, and to prove that we weren’t alone. Who knew
how much longer we would be able to express these
feelings. Life and love are intricately intertwined.
We longed for love, for an embrace, for physical
closeness, for a long desperate kiss that was often
mixed with tears.94

Rudolf Vrba described his personal experience at

Birkenau. There was a wire fence dividing the males and the

area of the Czech family camp where the women were housed.

Many of the male prisoners began to have conversations with

the young Czech women who lingered near the fence, and

“suddenly romance began to flourish gently in the heart of a

private hell.”95 The men sought for a means to get even

92 Levi, 76.
93 Elias, 99.
94 Ibid., 114.
95 Vrba, 182.
 36

closer to their new love interests, and a gang installing

new drains managed to dig a tunnel to the other side of the

wire. The men then slipped through this “tunnel of love”

and visited the women. Rudi himself fell in love with a

Czech girl named Alice, and sweetly described their budding

relationship, “Neither of us noticed anything except each

other. . . .Awkwardness melted away to be replaced by a

gentle intimacy.”96 Both were involved with the resistance

movement in the camp, and with the knowledge that the family

camp was soon to be exterminated, the passage of time became

more important, more real. Alice slipped through the tunnel

to spend the night with Rudi, and they made love, with both

losing their virginity at Auschwitz. The next morning, they

were told that the day had come for the extermination of

Alice’s camp, and while they attempted to muster a

resistance in the family camp, they failed. The young girl

went to her death that day.97

Catholic survivor, Sigmund Sobolewski, also lost his

virginity in the camp. Remembering March 1942 when the

first women were brought to Auschwitz, Sobolewski stated

that he became obsessed with the idea of making love to a

woman, afraid that he “might die without discovering the

ecstasy of physically loving a woman.”98 He arranged to

96 Ibid., 183.
97 Ibid., 187-189.
98 Tannenbaum, 35-37.
 37

visit the camp brothel, consisting at that time of thirteen

women, and made love to a Polish woman named Irka. He fell

in love with her, and the two planned to meet after the war.

Unfortunately, Irka was moved to Bergen-Belsen, where she

wrote long letters to Sobolewski’s family. Although the

relationship provided both with human emotions that had been

silenced by the Nazis, the two did not meet again.99

An unusual experience which took place in the death

camp was described by one survivor. An Austrian political

prisoner had impregnated a French woman prior to his arrest

and transport to Auschwitz. The SS arranged for the woman

and her newborn son to travel to Auschwitz, where a priest

was found to marry the two. They were allowed to spend one

evening in the camp brothel, which had been emptied for the

night. The French woman was then sent home.100 This was of

course against camp rules, but must have been satisfying for

all who knew that at least one wedding was performed in this

hell.

Another occurrence which provided hope for all who

heard it was the legend of Mala. She was a Belgian Jew, who

fell in love with a Polish Jew named Edek. The two escaped

from Auschwitz on 24 June 1944. As with any legend, there

were many different accounts of their journey on the

outside, but it is said that they walked to the nearby town

99 Ibid., 37-40.
 38

of Kozy, where “they found themselves a room and made love.”

Unfortunately, the two were captured, returned to camp, then

tortured and killed. Their story, although it ended so

sadly, gave hope and dreams to those who were witnesses to

or heard of their brief love affair.101

A number of prisoners were selected to witness, through

their work assignments, the brutal results of the

extermination of hundreds of thousands. The men and women

assigned to work place Canada were to separate the clothing

and other belongings of those who had been sent directly to

the gas chambers. It is difficult to imagine how one

withstood this brutal assignment, but there were advantages

to this labor. The prisoners were often able to steal

valuable foods and personal items as they worked. The men

and women who carried out these tasks often engaged in

innocent flirtations. For many, the motive in “seeking

these relationships was not so much sexual, but simply the

need to have someone to care for.”102 In addition, some of

the men served as messengers, bringing tokens of love from

prisoners who did not have access to these women. Gifts

included chocolates, perfumes, and other gifts gathered from

the suitcases of those who died. One survivor stated that

100 Friedrich, 48-49.

101 Ibid., 59.
102 Muller, 63.
 39

the Slovak girls “brought a ray of sunshine into my life,”

and in exchange for his gifts, they gave him smiles.103

A group of men who had an even more daunting task were

the Sonderkommando, chosen to move the dead from the gas

chambers. Their own lives were at risk, and few survived at

the end of the war. They had witnessed too much. Filip

Muller, Slovak Jew, worked in the Sonderkommando for three

years and survived. While it may not have been enough to

overcome the horror of events they witnessed, he and other

workers were eyewitnesses to final intimacies between men

and women who knew their death was imminent. In one account

by Muller, a group of Polish Jews, who most recently had

lived near the gates of Auschwitz, were gathered outside the

crematoria. Husbands and wives embraced as they undressed

to enter the chambers. Many were crying as they embraced,

trying to comfort one another.104 On another occasion,

Muller described witnessing the death of fellow Czechs and

Slovaks from the family camp. Once again, husbands and

wives embraced tightly, and mothers caressed their children.

Muller longed to die with his countrymen, and actually

entered the gas chamber with them. Yana, a young Czech

girl, spoke to him, urging him to live on to tell her lover

that her last thoughts were of him. She gave Muller a gold

chain from her neck and asked that he present it to Sasha, a

103 Vrba, 133-134.

 40

political prisoner from Odessa. They had planned to marry

if they survived. Muller left the gas chamber, and was able

to fulfill Yana’s final wish. He gave the chain and the

message to Sasha, who mourned for his lover and stated that

“now nothing matters anymore.”105 Although the intimacy that

had sustained both Yana and Sasha was exterminated, their

love, as expressed by Yana, was the impetus for Muller to

survive another day.

In another unusual occurrence, Muller witnessed the

death of a group of Gypsies. Unlike many other groups,

these men and women begged for their lives. When pressed

into the gas chamber, Muller related that “numerous men were

holding their wives in a tight embrace, pressed convulsively

against them as if merged into one, passionately but

despairingly making love for the last time.”106 While it is

not possible to know, perhaps these final moments of

intimacy eased the pain and fear of imminent death.

In one case, a survivor who escaped from Treblinka

described one of his first human experiences outside the

camp. He came upon the cottage home of a local peasant, and

with great courage, he entered the home finding a young

woman and her small son. The woman was at first frightened,

realizing by his appearance that he was an escapee. With

104 Muller, 70.

105 Ibid., 108, 113, 118.
106 Ibid., 151.
 41

little conversation, she fed him, and then asked if he came

from Treblinka. He answered that he had, and described her

response: “She approached me. I stood up, and our bodies

drew close. I felt the touch of her firm breasts and I

embraced her gratefully. Our mouths met in a passionate

kiss. She put out the kerosene lamp; darkness closed in.”107

This intimate encounter, offered willingly, restored the

humanity of the young escapee, and surely gave him strength

to continue his stressful journey home.

It must be added that not all intimate behaviors among

prisoners in the death camps, or on transports to the camps,

were positive in nature, as some inmates attempted to force

intimacy on others. One French survivor described his

transport to Buchenwald, “Suddenly a scuffle. A man with a

beard, aroused by the constant contact with the bare skin of

a young man is trying to sodomize him. The bearded man is

attacked by those nearest and [by] the boy, [who was] drunk

with fury.”108 Sigmund Sobolewski, a Catholic survivor of

Auschwitz described similar instances in the camp itself.

The block hairdresser, “remarkable for his long, slender,

feminine fingers,” bunked on the same pallet as Sobolewski.

One night the barber reached across and began to rub his

hands suggestively over Sobolewski’s leg. Sobolewski pushed

107 Willenberg, 145.

 42

him away, but noted that other prisoners did not.109

Although many such incidents must have occurred, they were

much less commonly mentioned in the narratives.

Throughout the narratives, the one form of intimacy

which survivors most described as contributing to their own

survival, and that of others, was friendship. In some

cases, the love and friendship of family members was life

sustaining. In other instances, people adopted new family

members to take the place of families who were lost to them.

Often, the friendship extended was brief, but memorable and

definitive as a moment which changed the course of human

life. For women, the first two forms of friendships were

most common in the narratives, while men were more likely to

experience the more brief expressions of friendship. That

is not to say that any form of friendship was exclusive to

either sex.110 Jakov, survivor of the Warsaw ghetto and

Treblinka, proclaimed the true value of intimate friendships

in a poem written to tell how he overcame apathy, despair

and even death:

What did I eat?

How did I survive?
A miracle. I had a friend…111

108 Jean Michel written in assoc. with Louis Nucera, Dora,

trans. by Jennifer Kidd (New York: Holt, Rinehart and
Winston, 1975), 34.
109 Tannenbaum, 34-35.
110 Gurewitsch, xiv.
111 Eve Nussbaum Soumerai and Carol D. Schulz, Daily Life
During the Holocaust, Daily Life Through History Series
(Westport: CN: Greenwood Press, 1998), 114.
 43

At the time of their imprisonment, family members tried

to stay together, fearful of conditions they were to face in

the unknown world of the ghettos or camps. This was more

common with women, who were able to stay with their

daughters. Men were more often separated, both from their

female relatives and from the male members of their

families, who might be sent to different work areas. Still,

for all those snatched from their homes and transported to

unknown camps, there was a common family, born of shared

circumstances. Birkenau survivor, Marco Nahon, spoke of

this community which developed as the prisoners traveled

together on transports East. He wrote, “necessity and

common misfortune have made them part of one and the same

family.”112 These intimate relationships were born of

closeness and familiarity with common emotions and fears.

At the Skarzysko work camp, husbands and wives, mothers

and daughters, sisters and brothers, fathers and sons bunked

together whenever possible. If this were not possible, they

sought the security of bunking with others from their own

villages or cities. Women who were alone, without members

of their immediate families, often developed new intimate

112Marco Nahon, Birkenau: The Camp of Death, trans. from

the French by Jacqueline Havaux Bowers (Tuscaloosa:
University of Alabama Press, 1989), 34.
 44

relationships, or “camp families,” sharing work, food, and

possessions.113

Survivor Isabella Leitner wrote of her intimate, loving

relationship with her siblings which sustained them through

their imprisonment at Auschwitz. Her brother, Philip was

held in the men’s camp, quite a distance from his four

sisters, and separated from them by electrified wire. He

was determined to get word to his sisters, encouraging them

to strive for survival. He acquired a knife and carved

messages into small pieces of wood, which he threw over the

fence in hopes that the wooden notes would reach his

sisters. Isabella and her sisters received these messages,

which always had the same directive: “You must survive.

You must live. You simply must.”114 While these words from

her brother were inspirational, Isabella also depended on

her sisters, as they did her. She wrote of this sibling

relationship,

If you are sisterless, you do not have the pressure,

the absolute responsibility to end the day alive. How
many times did that responsibility keep us alive? I
cannot tell. I can only say that many times when I was
caught in a selection, I knew I had to get back to my
sisters, even when I was too tired to fight my way
back, when going the way of the smoke would have been
easier, when I wanted to, when it almost seemed
desirable. But at those times, I knew also that my
sisters, aware that I was caught up in a selection, not
only wanted me to get back to them - they expected me

113Karay, 295.
114Isabella Leitner, Fragments of Isabella: A Memoir of
Auschwitz, edited with an Epilogue by Irving A. Leitner
(New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Publishers, 1978), 29.
 45

to get back. The burden to live up to that expectation

was mine, and it was awesome.115

Another pair of sisters described the importance of

their love for each other. Mina and Ceciie Klein were able

to stay together throughout their imprisonment. After Mina

lost her infant son, she was prepared to kill herself by

throwing herself against the electric wire fence. Ceciie

threatened to kill herself as well. Ceciie stated that her

sister reconsidered, choosing life, and that “she held

herself back, out of love for my life, not hers.”116 For six

months, Ceciie watched her sister carefully, protecting her

both from herself and from her surroundings. At that point,

it was Ceciie who lost her will to live. Mina switched

roles and cared for her sister. Both sisters survived,

helping one another to endure the inhumanity of the camps.117

Lithuanian Jew, Rachel Silberman, described the

intimate relationships she, her mother, and her younger

sister developed working together at a farm near Stutthof.

There were five other women working with them, and Rachel

stated that they all helped each other, and that “in bad

times people didn’t care, like my mother didn’t care,

115 Ibid., 35-36.

116 Goldenberg, 331.
117 Ibid.
 46

whether it was me or another girl.”118 Her mother would care

for any of the girls who were afraid or crying.

While they were not as numerous, there were

accounts of male family members who were able to stay

together. Hungarian survivor, Elie Wiesel, met two young

Czech brothers at Buna. Yossi and Tibi’s parents had been

killed at Birkenau. According to Wiesel, “they lived, body

and soul, for each other.”119 Wiesel’s well-known personal

narrative, Night, is a testament to this type of familial

intimacy. He and his father were deported from Hungary late

in the war, and they moved quickly from Birkenau, to

Auschwitz, to Buna, through a death march, and finally to

Buchenwald. Their’s is a story of mutual protection and

love. During the death march, Elie was tempted to fall to

the ground with fatigue. He wrote, “My father’s presence

was the only thing that stopped me. He was running at my

side, out of breath, at the end of his strength, at his

wit’s end. I had no right to let myself die. What would he

do without me? I was his only support.”120 Sadly, Elie’s

father died lying near his son at Buchenwald, only months

before the liberation of the camp. Elie described those

month’s after his father’s death, “I had to stay at

Buchenwald until April eleventh. I have nothing to say of

118 Gurewitsch, 82.

119 Elie Wiesel, Night, trans. from the French by Stella
Rodway (New York: Bantam Books, 1960), 48.
 47

my life during this period. It no longer mattered. After

my father’s death, nothing could touch me any more.”121 Elie

Wiesel survived the Holocaust, being cared for by his father

and, finally, caring for his dying father.

Women seemed to fare better in the camps, as a result

of the development of Lager Schwestern or “camp sisters.”

While men may have developed similar friendships or bonds,

there was no associated camp term.122 These women were able

to overcome the tragic destruction of their natural

families, and rebuild a trust in their new family. Through

these intimate relationships, women were able to practice

their instinctive nurturing skills, and maintain a sense of

their prewar existence.123

Kitty, Birkenau survivor, spoke of her friendship group

which included her mother and a number of carefully chosen

women in her camp. She said, “The friendships were dictated

by what was practical. You formed a small interdependent

group; each member worked in a different area and could

therefore bring something different into the ‘community.’”124

While Kitty relied on this group for practical items as well

as friendship, her continually stronger relationship with

her mother provided her with the greatest will to live. She

120 Ibid., 82.

121 Ibid., 107.
122 Gurewitsch, xviii.
123 Ibid., 100-102.
124 Gill, 149.
 48

believed that even though they were not always together, she

knew her mother was near, and that gave her emotional

sustenance and higher morale.125

Rozalia Berke, Auschwitz survivor, states that she

managed to “get through” the initial selection by “literally

holding on to her sister, not letting go of her hand.”126

The sisters subsequently opened their hearts to a girl they

knew in their village who had lost her entire family and was

despondent. The three “camp sisters” remained together

throughout Auschwitz, Stuffhof, a death march, and

liberation. They maintained this intimate relationship even

after the war.127

These “camp sister” relationships were life sustaining

even when there were no immediate family members in the

group. Auschwitz survivor Miriam Rosenthal was married in

Hungary in the spring of 1944. She was deported to

Auschwitz shortly after her marriage, and separated from her

husband. She was then transported to Plaszow, where she

formed “camp sister” relationships with three distant

cousins. When Miriam discovered she was pregnant, her camp

sisters helped her through her pregnancy. They trusted each

other and their mutual intimate relationships.

125 Ibid., 150.

126 Gurewitsch, 98.
127 Ibid.
 49

In perhaps the most random and unusual example of camp

sisterhood, a number of authors describe a group of seven

young women who were pregnant and gathered together by the

Nazis at Landsberg. They were designated by the Germans as

the Schwanger Kommando, pregnant commando. Strangely

enough, these young women were allowed to give birth to and

keep their babies. Although there were scarce resources for

the seven pregnant women, they did not fight over

provisions, but formed a very intimate group of “camp

sisters.” They helped one another give birth to their

babies. After the birth, Boszi, who was the oldest of the

women, nursed the babies whose mothers were too weak to feed

their infants. A number of the women have kept in touch

since their liberation, remembering their special intimate

relationship in a time of great hardship.128 Although this

account was described by more than one survivor, no one

offered the reason why the Nazis allowed these relationships

to flourish, or why they allowed these babies to live when

so many others were ruthlessly killed.

There were instances of intimacy in the form of

friendships which were brief but equally important to

survival. Polish Communist survivor, Sara Nomberg-Przytyk

described numerous acts of friendship which reaffirmed her

faith in humanity. After her arrival at Auschwitz and the

128 Ibid., 99.

 50

dehumanizing initial processing, she was despondent and

intent on killing herself. A woman she had known briefly in

the Bialystok ghetto befriended her and gave her food, warm

boots, and a sweater. As Sara fell asleep, she stated that

she “had hope in her heart,…and began to thaw from inner

warmth.”129 Sara was lucky enough to have another similar

experience during her January 1945 transport to Ravensbruck.

She was very sick, and so cold that she could not stay

awake. A woman she did not know, and never saw again, gave

her a blanket and a few small bites of bread. Sara believes

that this woman’s offerings saved her life.130

Survivor Mme. McAdam Clark described a friendship which

developed between inmates who were kept in solitary

confinement at Fresnes. These young women spoke to each

other, without seeing one another, through grilles in the

cells and through the water-pipes. Clark later met one of

her “invisible friends” at Ravensbruck, stating “we thought

it was heaven because we were all together again; we saw old

friends, members of the resistance, and other people whom

we’d known only by their voices at Fresnes.”131 In honor of

these friendships, they called the magazine of their post-

war association Voix et Visages [Voice and Faces].132

129 Goldenberg, 328.

130 Ibid., 329.
131 Gill, 326.
132 Ibid.
 51

Another unnamed female survivor wrote that there were

“momentary relationships” that still remain with her. One

such brief encounter occurred in the camp hospital. A young

Polish girl chosen for selection to be killed was placed in

the bunk next to hers. Both were about seventeen years old.

The survivor went to the next bunk and gave the selected

girl her onion and garlic. They talked throughout the night

and the survivor stated, “I had the need to be with her, and

she responded.”133 Although the young Polish girl did not

survive the Holocaust, she is alive in the memory of one

survivor.

Male survivors expressed many of the same feelings

regarding random intimate friendships. Italian survivor,

Primo Levi, described the overtures of friendship which he

believes saved his life. Levi met an Italian civilian

worker named Lorenzo while toiling in the fields near Buna.

Lorenzo brought Levi extra food every day for six months,

and wrote messages to Levi’s family. Amazingly, Lorenzo

wanted nothing in return. While the extra rations were

instrumental in Levi’s survival, it was something of a more

intimate nature that was of greater aid. Levi wrote that he

is alive today…

not so much for his [Lorenzo’s] material aid, as for

his having constantly reminded me by his presence, by
his natural and plain manner of being good, that there
still existed a just world outside our own; something

133 Gill, 364.

 52

difficult to define, a remote possibility of good, but

for which it was worth surviving.134

Another survivor, Filip Muller, assigned to the

Sonderkommando, found himself amazingly grateful for his

assignment. He had been in isolation for almost fourteen

months, deprived of all human intimacies. He wrote that

“living together with my fellow prisoners gave me a feeling

of solidarity because we shared the same fate. I no longer

felt quite as forlorn and despondent as before.”135 He lived

and worked with these men for three years, surviving what

was perhaps the most difficult assignment in the camps.

Latvian Jew Boris Kacel also found friendship in an

unusual circumstance. He was imprisoned in the Little

Ghetto in Riga, and served as an apprentice to a non-Jewish

Latvian civilian electrician. At this time, many Latvians

joined with the Germans in their mistreatment of the Jews.

When the electrician discovered that Kacel knew nothing of

the trade as he had claimed, he did not report this to the

German supervisor, instead choosing to teach Kacel what he

himself knew. They became friends and had many intimate

conversations in secluded spots to avoid detection by the

Germans. Kacel wrote, “I admired this young Latvian man,

who was not only my friend but also my teacher. The

knowledge I gained of the electrical trade gave me the

134 Levi, 119-121.

135 Muller, 53.
 53

strength and ability to survive my years of work.”136 Kacel

was fortunate to have a support system outside of his work

as well. He, his father, and his cousin Boris lived

together in a small room forming what they called a troika,

or threesome. The three shared household duties and

decisions, devoting their energies to their mutual

survival.137

There are many common themes in the Holocaust

narratives. One theme expressed by each survivor was a

sense of both thankfulness and shame for their own survival.

Almost all of the survivors believed that luck played a role

in their survival; and but for that, they might have died as

did so many of their family and friends. Another theme was

of intimacies that helped them through the hell that was the

Holocaust. A survivor who played in the orchestra at

Auschwitz until December 1944 wrote, “I think it is

impossible to define what makes a survivor. What helps

survival per se is a group existence: companions who help

you are more important than your own individual nature.”138

While the author was careful to state that she could not

generalize, but only speak of her own experience, it is

obvious from the many accounts of others that there were

many instances of such intimacy among the Holocaust

136 Kacel, 63.

137 Ibid., 73.
138 Gill, 405.
 54

prisoners. For many, these intimacies were, in fact, a

means of survival. For some, these intimacies were

precursors to their own death. Lucie Adelsberger, survivor

and camp doctor at Auschwitz, spoke poignantly of the

importance of intimacy, saying that even for those who did

not survive the Holocaust, “the friendship and love of a

camp family eased the horror of their miserable end.”139 For

us all, the intimacies revealed in the Holocaust narratives

are a reminder of the abuses of humanity, our own humanity,

and our need for close relationships which may serve to

sustain us through life’s difficulties, great or small.

139Lucie Adelsberger, Auschwitz: A Doctor’s Story (Boston:

Northeastern University Press, 1995), 100.