1

00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:14,625

2
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,363
Lines are open. Please give us a call.
Who's up next, Roz?

3
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,995
Pam on line four has a family problem.

4
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:26,226
Hello, Pam.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm listening.

5
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,763
'Hi. It's my in-laws.

6
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,987
'They drop over all the time
without calling

7
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:35,035
'and expect us to stop
and entertain them.'

8
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,841
They're your husband's parents.
What does he suggest?

9
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,837
'The other day
he had us drop to the floor

10
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,162
'and stay quiet until they drove away.'

11
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:49,933
A creative approach,
but hardly a long-term solution.

12
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,734
'I don't want to hurt their feelings.'

13
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,764
Either you risk hurting their feelings,
14
00:00:56,056 --> 00:01:00,732
or you spend the rest of your life
diving for cover when they drop on by.

15
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,799
'Shh! They're here!'

16
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,692
Your in-laws?

17
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:11,181
- 'Shh! Yes.'
- Then why don't you...

18
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,605
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Just tell them how you feel.

19
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,914
'I will. Next time. I promise. Thanks.'

20
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:25,221
As Pam belly-crawls
across her living room...

21
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:30,022
let's take a moment
for this message from Carpet Fresh.

22
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,418
How's that for a segue?

23
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:41,116
It's not good to make rude gestures
at other drivers.

24
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,583
He cut you off.

25
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,769
You should not antagonize a man

26
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:51,013
whose bumper sticker says "If you're
close enough to read this, I'll kill you."
27
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,125
Big talk from a Volvo.

28
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:58,160
- You found yourself a new suit.
- It's a beaut.

29
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:02,372
- Let's have a look.
- I'll model it for you.

30
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,664
Nice of you to buy
your father a new suit.

31
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,348
It didn't work out
the way I'd planned but...

32
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,584
What are you doing?

33
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,512
Fluffing your knickers.

34
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,590
If you don't mind my saying so,
you're losing some of your elasticity.

35
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:23,170
I appreciate what you're doing,
but a man's knickers are...

36
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,313
Ooh!

37
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,002
How do you get them so soft?

38
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,869
Fabric softener
and twice in the fluff cycle.

39
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,791
Keep up the good work.
40
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,973
Hello? Yes. Oh, hi, Niles.

41
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,996
Of course you can come by.
Great. I'll see you then.

42
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,670
Hi, Niles.

43
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,911
Thanks for calling first.

44
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,129
I heard your show today.

45
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,216
I wouldn't dream
of popping by unannounced.

46
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,344
I was passing by
and I've come to beg a favor.

47
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,790
My housekeeper Mary is a fan
of your little radio program.

48
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:09,333
What she lacks in taste,
she makes up for in vigor.

49
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,725
She'd like an autographed photo.

50
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,862
It'd be my pleasure.
Daphne, this is my brother Niles.

51
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,050
- You're Daphne?
- Yes, I am.

52
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,716
When Frasier told me
he'd hired an English woman,

53
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,394
I pictured someone a little more...
not quite so...

54
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,264
You're Daphne?

55
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,619
Nice to meet you.

56
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,077
- Lovely accent. Manchester?
- How did you know?

57
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,660
I'm quite the Anglophile.
I'm sure Frasier and Dad told you.

58
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,120
No.

59
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,348
I spent a year studying at Cambridge.

60
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,919
They didn't mention that either.

61
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,461
I guess they don't talk about me
when I'm not around.

62
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,608
I wouldn't say that.

63
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,997
Niles, here's your picture.

64
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,272
Do you mind?

65
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:07,164
"Mary, here's wishing you
good mental health. Frasier Crane."
66
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,583
Fits like a glove. Hi, Niles.

67
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,472
Hey, Dad... Wow.

68
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,883
- How do I look?
- Wow.

69
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,428
Dr. Crane took your father to Armani.

70
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,680
That's Armani?

71
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,607
I told you, Frasier.
He can't tell the difference.

72
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,854
We were on our way to Armani

73
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,987
when Dad spotted this
at a discount store.

74
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:44,273
It's sharkskin. Look at the way it
changes color when I move my arm.

75
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:48,208
You'll be the handsomest gent
at your friend's retirement party.

76
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,656
- Let's hang it up before it gets wrinkled.
- It's supposed to resist wrinkles.

77
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,710
They had one in the window
wadded up inside a mayonnaise jar.

78
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,230
Frasier, is he our real father?
79
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:06,139
We've been having this discussion
since we were children.

80
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,466
But that suit!

81
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,925
It's not just the suit. It's his taste
in everything - clothing, films, music.

82
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:20,347
Except our surname and strong calves
we have nothing in common with him.

83
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,126
Thank goodness, we took after Mom.

84
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,204
Why didn't he acquire
her sophistication?

85
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,406
He was too busy working
so we could have the nicer things.

86
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:34,456
Maybe we should pay him back
in some way,

87
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,148
expose him to the finer things

88
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:43,052
so that he'd stop lumbering through life
like some great polyester dinosaur.

89
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,663
Dad's so set in his ways.

90
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,080
We all are at some point.
You thought the 1812 Overture

91
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,347
was great classical music.
92
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,990
Was I ever that young?

93
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,998
You and I
have to broaden Dad's horizons,

94
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,632
show him the world that
he's only read about in TV Guide.

95
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:10,381
- How about an evening of fine dining?
- Perfect. But where?

96
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,729
Le Cigare Volant!

97
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,253
Can we get in?
I've been trying for months.

98
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,184
My name carries cachet in this town.

99
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:25,616
If the ma�tre d'
happens to be a housewife, we're in.

100
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,560
Niles, you are so mean.

101
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:35,127
- I'll just call Information.
- No need. I have it on speed dial.

102
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,495
Thank you.

103
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,926
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.

104
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,307
Yes. The one on the radio.
105
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:48,174
Any chance of getting a table
for four on Saturday, at, say, 8:00?

106
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,555
Merci. A bient�t!

107
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,819
We're in!

108
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,894
Niles, can I get you a beer, pork rinds?

109
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,998
No, thanks.

110
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:04,372
Dad, Niles and I and Maris
would like you to join us for dinner

111
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:09,274
on Saturday night at Le Cigare Volant,
one of the hottest new restaurants.

112
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,389
I don't know.

113
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,595
The food is to die for.

114
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,729
Your country and your family
are to die for. Food is to eat.

115
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,054
Thanks, but I wouldn't like it.

116
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,306
How do you know?

117
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:26,606
I didn't have to get shot in the hip
to know I wouldn't like that.

118
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,336
It's a chance to have an evening
together as a family.

119
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:33,013
We really want to do this for you.

120
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,796
All right.

121
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,592
We're going to have the best time!

122
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,595
I can wear my new suit.

123
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,011
And won't that be nice?

124
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,629
How do the calls look today?

125
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:54,163
Jilted lovers,
a man who's afraid of his car,

126
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,474
a manic-depressive and the rest
feel their lives are going nowhere.

127
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,478
I love a Monday.
How was your weekend?

128
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,375
I had my most hellacious date ever.

129
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,960
He asked me to pick him up from work.

130
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:11,025
I stop for gas and pump it myself
while he reads the sports section.

131
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,802
We go to my place
to make sweet and sour shrimp.
132
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,398
I ask him to hand me the honey
and he gets this freaked out look

133
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:24,027
and says he can't because he has
a fear of touching anything sticky.

134
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,142
It was a new jar,
but he wasn't taking risks.

135
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:33,544
- Where do you meet these people?
- I answered his ad.

136
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,845
- You got 30 seconds. Get in there.
- Not yet. Are you ready?

137
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,620
- Oh, no.
- We do this every Monday.

138
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,737
- You do this. I play along.
- Come on.

139
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,189
- Who's got the best Seattle talk show?
- We do! We do!

140
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,479
All right!

141
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,596
Well, aren't you a bobby-dazzler!

142
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:10,197
I'll go out on a limb
and take that as a compliment.

143
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,543
- Where are you off to?
- Poker night.
144
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,359
You're a card player?

145
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,887
It's mostly social.
Me and the girls just bumping the gums.

146
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,941
No one ever loses
more than $500 or $600.

147
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,982
Hi, Niles. Where's Maris?

148
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,386
Are you taking
separate elevators again?

149
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,169
Maris is having one of her episodes.

150
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,566
In the middle of dressing
for the evening,

151
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:41,820
she suddenly slumped down on the bed
in her half-slip and sighed.

152
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,237
- I knew that dinner was not to be.
- Sorry.

153
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:49,582
I'll make the best of it.
Hi-ho, Daphne, you're looking luminous.

154
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,644
- Thank you.
- What's in the bag?

155
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,560
A little treat for Dad.
Some Devonshire clotted cream.

156
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:02,803
- For Dad?
- I love Devonshire clotted cream.

157
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:07,501
- Isn't that lucky? You can share it.
- I'll pop it in the fridge.

158
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,213
- Sherry, Niles?
- Thank you.

159
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,443
I'm having a thought.

160
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,371
Since Maris has dropped out
and we have an extra space,

161
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,332
perhaps we should invite Daphne
to join us.

162
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,498
It is a table for four,

163
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:28,466
and three is such an awkward number,
you know, at a... at a dinner.

164
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,617
What are you doing?

165
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,272
Nothing.

166
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:39,105
For goodness' sake,
I'm happily married.

167
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,186
Maris means the world to me.

168
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:45,472
The other day, I kissed her
for no reason whatsoever.

169
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:51,276
I'm off to my poker game.
It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane.

170
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,927
Wait a minute.
I'm getting something on you.

171
00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,949
She's psychic.
We've decided to find it charming.

172
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,650
You have occasional bouts of colitis,
don't you?

173
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,231
Yes.

174
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,333
Frasier, she's phenomenal!

175
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,062
It's a gift. Well, cheerio.

176
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,860
Ta-ta.

177
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,054
You've never had colitis!

178
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,948
I know.
I couldn't bear to disappoint her.

179
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,502
OK. I'm ready to go.

180
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,335
Dad, what's happened to your suit?

181
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:38,570
It's at the cleaners. I got some creamed
chicken on it at Phil's retirement dinner.

182
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,296
You can't keep anything nice.

183
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:45,330
I'm sure Le Cigare Volant
has a dress code.

184
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:49,100
Niles, may I borrow your phone?
Thank you.

185
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,250
- Where's Maris?
- Episode.

186
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,489
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
I have a reservation tonight

187
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,759
and I'm calling to inquire
about your minimum dress code.

188
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,958
Crane. Frasier... Doctor.

189
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,227
What do you mean?
They've lost our reservation.

190
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:16,399
Give me that. This is Dr. Niles Crane.
I've never been treated so shabbily.

191
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,973
I could come over and create a scene!

192
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,272
- They've already hung up.
- Thank God.

193
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:30,072
What now? It's Saturday night, 7:45.
We won't get in anywhere.

194
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:35,612
Hey, I know! Why don't I take us all
to The Timber Mill?
195
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:40,557
- The Timber Mill?
- You get a steak this thick for $8.95!

196
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:44,715
It doesn't sound like
the kind of restaurant we'd like.

197
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:50,210
- I was willing to go to your place.
- We'd better take a rain check.

198
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:55,765
I was looking forward to going out with
you boys. We'll do it some other time.

199
00:12:56,151 --> 00:13:00,144
I'm sure Daphne's got something
in the fridge I can heat up.

200
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:09,399
- I'm in the mood for a good steak.
- What?

201
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:17,085
The point isn't where we have dinner
but that we have an evening together.

202
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,975
You won't be sorry. They've got
five toppings for your baked potato.

203
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,054
- Did you hear that, Niles?
- I'm sold.

204
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,541
We'll bring you a bone, Eddie.

205
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,239
He's ecstatic.

206
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,957
Quite a place, huh?
Used to be a sawmill.
207
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,346
Until somebody stated the obvious

208
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:43,729
and said,
"Hey, let's turn it into a restaurant!"

209
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,822
My mouth is watering.

210
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,545
There's nothing like
the smell of charbroiled meat.

211
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,458
This aroma is triggering
a sense memory. Something familiar.

212
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,985
Oh, of course.
It's Maris and her home tanning bed.

213
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,910
Welcome to The Timber Mill.

214
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,451
Do you have a table for three?

215
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,435
Sure. This way.

216
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,874
- Is this your first visit here?
- Yes.

217
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,141
We've got a dress code.

218
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:19,072
- His suit was at the cleaners.
- Not him. You.

219
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,370
Timber!

220
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:29,135
- My tie! She cut off my tie!
- Isn't that great?

221
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:33,646
- Why did she do that?
- They like to keep the place casual.

222
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:39,512
- You could have mentioned that to us.
- And spoil the fun? Ah, cheer up.

223
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:43,152
- You get a free dessert.
- Oh, boy.

224
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,185
I guess you're right, Dad. It's just a tie.

225
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,983
A Hugo Boss tie.

226
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:54,971
- Can I get you something from the bar?
- Oh, dear God, yes.

227
00:14:56,354 --> 00:15:00,393
Stoli Gibson on the rocks
with three pearl onions.

228
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:04,693
If you bring him two or four,
he'll send it back.

229
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,498
- And for you?
- The same.

230
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,977
I'll have a Ballantine.

231
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:16,989
A funny thing happened the other day.
One of my patients had a Freudian slip.

232
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,845
He was with his wife
and meant to say, "Pass the salt."

233
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:25,130
Instead he said, "You've ruined my life,
you blood-sucking shrew."

234
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,814
I'll bet she didn't like that.

235
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,336
No, Dad. She didn't.

236
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,955
How was your buddy's
retirement party?

237
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:44,941
It was great. I really miss those guys.
Bad news, though.

238
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:50,678
Mo Hanson, my old desk captain,
was killed in a boating accident.

239
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,304
I'm sorry.

240
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,526
At least he went quick.

241
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:59,737
Hank Krinski, well, he had three
bypasses before he went.

242
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:04,358
Jimmy Berman had this weird disease.
I visited him in the hospital.

243
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:09,310
When he died, his skin was all yellow.
Just wasted away to nothing.

244
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:12,954
Nice nurse, though.
Betty, I think her name was.

245
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,350
I see you're first-timers.
This is how it works.

246
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:23,920
Every entr�e comes with soup or a trip
to the salad bar. One trip only, please.

247
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,785
Also included
is our garlic cheese bread.

248
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,619
- Now you can claim your steaks.
- "Claim" them?

249
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:34,988
You get to pick the cut you want
off the beef trolley.

250
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:44,546
How much extra would I have to pay
to get one from the refrigerator?

251
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,326
Just pick your steak.

252
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:53,984
I'd like a petit fillet mignon very lean,
but not so lean that it lacks flavor.

253
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:58,128
And I don't want it cooked,
just lightly seared.

254
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,391
Pink in the middle. Not true pink,

255
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,443
but not a mauve.
Something in between,

256
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:07,725
bearing in mind the slightest error
either way, and it's ruined.

257
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,707
OK.

258
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,280
How about you?

259
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:19,107
Could I see the other side of that one?

260
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:23,373
Just bring us those three, medium rare,
all the fixings.

261
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,588
Come on. There's a lull at the salad bar.

262
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,794
They have the best
Thousand Island dressing in town.

263
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,975
I saw the plaque by the cash register.

264
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,383
Here we go. Three Paul Bunyans.

265
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:45,159
- We've barely touched our salads.
- Great service.

266
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:49,316
With luck, we'll complete
our dining experience in 20 minutes.

267
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:54,407
- I could put this under the heat lamp.
- No, no. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

268
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:58,457
Let me know
if I can get you anything else.

269
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,417
Thank you

270
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,620
I don't mind you being tough
on this place,

271
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,990
but you could be nicer to the waitress.

272
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:11,008
I'll apologize when she comes with the
dessert. Which should be any time now.

273
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:16,839
Sometimes there's nothing
like a good steak.

274
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,092
I wish this was one of those times.

275
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,116
What's wrong?

276
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,185
- I don't mean to complain...
- Then don't.

277
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:30,395
These steaks come from prize beef...
What the hell are you doing?

278
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,689
Something's fallen in my potato.

279
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,741
- Those are bacon bits.
- I didn't ask for them.

280
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,946
- I ordered all the fixings.
- I don't eat bacon. It has nitrates.

281
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,596
They're artificial.
They're made out of soy.

282
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,341
They really
look out for your health here.

283
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:52,250
Everybody in this restaurant is enjoying
the dinner. Can't you do the same?

284
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,515
Niles?

285
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:06,681
Is Maris organizing the... Arts Council
benefit again this year?

286
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:10,381
- Yes.
- Where are they holding it?

287
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:14,480
They haven't picked a spot yet. Maybe
I should tell them about this place.

288
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:23,770
- I'd like to be a fly on the wall that night.
- You wouldn't be the only one.

289
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:29,469
That's it. I've had enough
of you two jackasses.

290
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,025
I've listened to you making cracks
about the food.

291
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:37,538
I've got news for you.
People like this place. I like this place.

292
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:41,037
When you insult this restaurant,
you insult me.

293
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:45,307
I thought you took after your mother,
liking the ballet and all that.

294
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:49,682
But you mother liked a ball game too.
She'd even have a hot dog.

295
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:53,140
She had fancy taste,
but she had too much class

296
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,479
to make anyone feel second-rate.

297
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:59,889
If she saw how you've behaved tonight,
she'd be ashamed. I know I am.

298
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,950
- Dad, wait.
- I'm going to Duke's for a nightcap.

299
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:08,363
- Let us take you.
- I'll take a cab. I've had enough of you.

300
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,303
Leave the waitress a good tip.
She deserves it.

301
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:16,258
- Niles, say something.
- Dad, wait.

302
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,822
The mud pie is coming!

303
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,743
The mud pie is coming

304
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,269
- I feel terrible.
- So do I.

305
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:43,604
- The sad thing is, he's right about us.
- Are we really such snobs?

306
00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:48,104
Do you see anyone else drive
their father out into the street to drink?

307
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,783
- We've got to apologize to Dad.
- You're right.

308
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,723
Give him a couple of hours.
When he gets home, we'll settle this.

309
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:08,048
Absolutely. We've been just horrid.

310
00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:12,788
Do you think we've lost the ability
to appreciate the simple things -

311
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,423
steak, potatoes, fixings?

312
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,469
I'm afraid so.

313
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,333
The thing is, this is good food.

314
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:27,370
It's not fancy but
it's good, wholesome American fare.

315
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,934
You know, as a tribute to Dad,

316
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:33,039
we should
sit here until we've cleaned our plates.

317
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,410
I'm game if you are.

318
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,269
We're going to prove we are not snobs.

319
00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,385
Absolutely.

320
00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:54,125
Frasier, look who's here.

321
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:09,393
Eat your food.

322
00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:39,359
Frasier has left the building.