What makes a good life?
Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger
Opening questions:
what keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life?
If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your
energy?
Life goals for millenials + percentages
Over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich and other 50 percent of those
same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.
Knowing about human life
We know from asking people to remember the past and as we know hindsight is anything but
20-20 ,forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life and sometimes memory is creative
How to study people and why
For 75 years they have tracked the lives of 724 men asking about their work,home lives ,health
,knowing their life stories, because they want to investigate the history of these people, but the
study is very long for generations
Length of study and number of subjects
Since 1938 ,we have tracked their lives of 2 groups of men ,the 1 group started in the study
when they were at Harvard college and the 2 group that we have followed was a group of boys
from boston poorest neighborhoods
75 years of study
Problems with these studies
Social connections are really good for us and the loneliness kills
The experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic
In the Loneliness the life is short
Subjects remaining and their ages
about 60 men of their original 724 men
Number of children
2000 children of those men
Start time
Group Characteristics when study began
First group everyone finished college during the second world war and then most went to war
Second group
was a group of boys from boston poorest neighborhoods ,they were chosen because they came
from families with more problems and more disadvantaged in 1930
Subject characteristics after study began
most lived overcrowded, without water.
the young became adults and each one made his life
Joke about Harvard
the staff asks questions to those who participated in the study and they say that their lives are
not interesting but when they ask harvard students they don't complain because they are more
stable
How were the subjects studied?
they were interviewed in their living rooms
they got their medical records
blood is drawn and their brains are scanned
they talk with their children
record video conversations
What the lessons are not about
the lessons have nothing to do with fame, wealth, or work hard
Clearest message from the study
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier period
First big lesson:
Evidence for this lesson
Social connections are really good for us and the loneliness kills
Second big lesson:
Evidence for this lesson
The number of friends you have and its not whether or not you are in committed relationship but
it’s the quality of your close relationships that matters
Third big lesson:
Evidence for this lesson
good relationships not only protect the body but also the brain
What we’d really like is a quick fix. -- Why does he use this expression?
use the expression because we are human beings and we would like everything to be easy and
quick to solve, something that improves our lives and is permanent
What the study has shown consistently
In the study, the happiest 75-year-old people were the ones who replaced their friends, and
millennials believe that fame, wealth and achieving things were what they needed for a good life.
Having better relationships
the study shows that people who leaned towards relationships with family, friends and
community, give a better life
Last statement in the talk
Mark Twain quote:
“There isn’t time ,so brief is life,for brickerings,apologies,heartburnings,callings to account ,there is
only time for loving and but an instant so to speak,for that”