Executive Producer: Paul Attanasio

Executive Producer: Katie Jacobs

Executive Producer: David Shore
Executive Producer: Bryan Singer
Co-Executive Producer: John Mankiewicz
Supervising Producer: Matt Witten
Supervising Producer: Thomas L. Moran
Producer: Gerrit van der Meer
Consulting Producer: Peter Blake
Consulting Producer: Sara B. Cooper
Associate Producer: Marcy Kaplan
Associate Producer: Bruce Nachbar
Director: Peter Medak

HOUSE
“The Socratic Method”

EPISODE #2

Written by
John Mankiewicz

E#5502 Production Draft July 21, 2004

Full Blue Revisions July 23, 2004
Full Pink Revisions July 27, 2004
Yellow Revisions July 30, 2004
Green Revisions July 30, 2004
Goldenrod Revisions August 2, 2004
Buff Revisions August 5, 2004
Salmon Revisions August 6, 2004
Cherry Revisions August 9, 2004
Tan Revisions August 11, 2004

COPYRIGHT © 2004 A LL RIGHTS R ESERVED . T HIS MATERIAL IS THE

PROPERTY OF UNIVERSAL N ETWORK T ELEVISION LLC AND IS INTENDED
AND RESTRICTED SOLELY FOR STUDIO USE AND BY STUDIO PERSONNEL. DISTRIBUTION AND/OR DISCLOSURE OF THE MATERIAL TO
UNAUTHORIZED PERSONS IS PROHIBITED . T HE SALE, COPYING AND REPRODUCTION OF THE MATERIAL IN ANY FORM IS ALSO PROHIBITED . F
 HOUSE

Character List
Episode 5502 – Yellow Revisions

Dr. Gregory House

Dr. James Wilson
Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Dr. Allison Cameron
Dr. Robert Chase
Dr. Eric Foreman

Lucille “Lucy” Palmero

Lucas “Luke” Palmero
Dr. Wells
Dr. Bergin
Sally
Clark
Trina Wyatt
Male Truant Officer
Terri
Wendy
Nurse *

Female Voice/Frog Voice

EMT Voice
Hospital P.A. Voice
 HOUSE

Location List
Episode 5502 – Tan Revisions

INTERIORS
Hospital
Hallway – Patients’ Floor
Patient Floor Lounge
Hallway – Admin. Floor
Lobby – Main Floor
E.R. Waiting Room
Elevator
House’s Office
Outer Office
Inner Office
Lab
Clinic
Exam Room #1
Exam Room #2
Cuddy’s Office
Lucy’s Hospital Room
Hallway Outside
Hallway Outside Surgical Suite *
Men’s Room

New Jersey State Unemployment Office

Lucy’s Apartment
Outside Front Door
Her Bedroom
Luke’s Bedroom
Tiny Kitchen
House’s Apartment

EXTERIORS

Princeton - Aerial Shot

Hospital - E.R. Entrance
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 1.

TEASER

FADE IN:

TIGHT - LUCY PALMERO

Rocks her head slowly to a private, painful rhythm. 38, but

looks older. A pale round face. A frozen, mirthless half
smile. The blank, flattened affect of schizophrenia.

The murmur of public business in a big room. And then, aimed

right at her, vaguely menacing, from out of nowhere --

FEMALE VOICE
... Cat got your tongue?

Lucy blinks. PUSH IN. Blue eyes, scared, fill the screen.

FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D)

Nah. You killed the cat. Cut off
its head.

Lucy stops rocking. Then, very faint, from the real world --

SALLY (V.O.)
...need to take a look at this -

LUKE'S VOICE (V.O.)

Mom... Mom.

Lucy startles, turns to Luke's voice. WIDER to REVEAL we're:

1 INT. NEW JERSEY STATE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE -- DAY 1

The Disabilities Benefits desk. Lucy's teenaged son LUKE -

thin, anxious, highly organized -- sits next to her. The
Caseworker (SALLY) -- 50ish, plump -- behind a desk featuring
a colored GLASS FROG PAPERWEIGHT. Re: a form --

SALLY
Just a couple of questions, before I
can authorize extending her benefits.

Lucy's confused. Drooling now. Bobbing her head. Re: Sally -

LUCY
I don't like her. She's fat.

Luke flashes a nervous look to Sally, who nicely lets him

off the hook; she's not offended.

SALLY
I could lose a little weight.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 2.

1 CONTINUED: 1

As Lucy rubs her right calf, distracted, CAMERA SLAMS IN:

TIGHT - LUCY'S CALF - VFX

PUSHING through fat, bone and muscle to discover a dangerous

looking thrombus -- a blood clot, inside Lucy's deep vein.

RESUME - UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE

LUKE
(worried)
You all right?

Lucy releases her calf --

SALLY
Actually, before she signs --

LUCY
-- I killed the cat... So much blood.

Off Sally's look --

LUKE
It's okay.

Sally sighs. She wants to give the kid a break.

SALLY
I have questions about a couple of
these dates. The first diagnosis --

LUKE
-- Schizophrenia, Dr. Walters, May
11 last year. Letter's in the medical
file.
Sally nods. Gets it. Off the form:

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 3.

1 CONTINUED: (2) 1

SALLY
And April 6. That was her last day
of work.

LUKE
The termination letter's dated March
5, I know, it's confusing, but yeah,
her last pay stub was for the week
ending April 6.

SALLY
But she received unemployment benefits
that week. A week she worked.

LUKE
No. That's a mistake.

Off Luke, shook, grabbing a thick file, looking --

BACK INSIDE THE VEIN - VFX - AS BEFORE

SEE a SMALL PIECE of the BIG CLOT in the calf breaks off and
flows up Lucy's body. Bad news.

RESUME - UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE

Luke still looking. It's got to be there.

SALLY
It's a big problem, it could nullify
her entire claim.

LUKE
We fixed that. I know we did. We
returned the money.
Finally -- he's found what he needs. He hands her a document.

LUKE (CONT'D)
That's the canceled check... Not the
real one. You know. A copy.

SALLY
(irony, a compliment)
And you're the dependent.

LUKE
No, that's my little brother. I'm
18. Just helping out.

A weird beat. Sally looks at him. Smiles. STAMPS the form.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 4.

1 CONTINUED: (3) 1

SALLY
You're all set. Just need a
signature.

LUCY
(fast, urgent)
Shut up shut up shut up.

Lucy's agitated, paranoid, eyes locked tight on --

TIGHT - THE FROG PAPERWEIGHT ON THE DESK - LUCY'S POV

FROG (THE FEMALE VOICE)

The cat's first. Now it's your turn,
Lucy.

WIDER - Lucy reacts, frightened and in pain, jerks her chair

backwards. Tense.

LUKE
It's okay. She just needs some water.

SALLY
I'll get it.

Sally moves off, Luke slips his Mom an airplane sized bottle
of vodka. She guzzles it.

LUKE
Mom, just hold on. When she comes
back, sign it, and we're done --

LUCY
-- The voices.

LUKE
-- The voices aren't real.

Lucy nods. Then she gasps, twists, in real pain, as CAMERA

DIVES DOWN, and we're back --

INSIDE HER BODY - VFX - THE BLOOD CLOT

Slams through the chambers of her heart, and into a narrowing

artery, crashing to a stop with a wet fat THUNK, blocking
blood flow, and thus oxygen, to Lucy's lungs.

RESUME - UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE

Lucy gasps horribly, can't get any air. Luke is helpless,

Lucy's eyes flutter closed, the whole world SLOWS DOWN, and --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 4A.

1 CONTINUED: (4) 1

LUCY'S COLLAPSE - VARIOUS

Lucy falls off the chair... Luke tries to catch her... her
dead weight spins him sideways... he SLAMS his wrist on the
desk... her hand hits the glass frog... it flies off the
desk... smashes and separates in a shower of glass... Lucy
lands on the ground hard...

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - YELLOW - 7-30-04 5.

1 CONTINUED: (5) 1

BACK TO REAL TIME -- Sally's back, calling 911, and Lucy's

on the floor, unconscious. Off the blank stare of what's
left of the frog's eyes, and Luke, terrified, cradling his
mother's head --

POP TO MAIN TITLES

END OF TEASER
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 6.

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

2 EXT. PRINCETON - AERIAL SHOT -- DAY 2

A SIREN, the sound of an ambulance pulling up and--

EMT VOICE
(filtered, thru radio)
38 year old Caucasian woman, status
post respiratory arrest in the field,
intubated, oxygenating poorly...

3 OMITTED 3

4 INT. E.R. WAITING ROOM -- DAY 4

Quiet. Luke paces, restless, past a MAN reading the COMICS.

When he lowers the paper, we see it's House. Annoyed.

LUKE
(a question)
This is a good hospital.

HOUSE
Depends what you mean by good.
(considers, then)
I like these chairs.

Off Luke's look, as House goes back to the comics --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 7.

4 CONTINUED: 4

HOSPITAL P.A. VOICE

Dr. Gregory House, please call Dr.
Cuddy at extension 3731.

House ignores the page. E.R. DOC WELLS enters, early 30s,
Luke moves quickly towards him --

LUKE
How is she?

WELLS
Stable, okay. Your mom had a small
pulmonary embolism, a blood clot
that got stuck in her lungs. Blocked
the oxygen.

Luke winces as he pulls out his notebook -- his wrist hurts.

(Throughout the following, House looks like he's just reading
the paper, not paying attention. Think again.)

LUKE
But the pain started in her leg.

WELLS
(nods, that's right)
Where the clot started. Her calf.
That's called a deep vein thrombosis,
basically a bigger clot --

LUKE
-- it never hurt before, I would've
noticed --

WELLS
-- A piece of that broke off, went
up the vein, through her heart, and
blocked blood flow to her lungs. No
blood flow, no oxygen.

LUKE
(writing fast)
Got it. Wait a sec --

WELLS
-- Is your dad here? I have some
things I need to talk to him --

LUKE
-- My dad's running a little late;
he's dead. Talk to me. I take care
of her.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 8.

4 CONTINUED: (2) 4

WELLS
All right. Your Mom's blood alcohol
was point one two, 10:30 in the
morning --

LUKE
-- I gave it to her. Two ounces of
vodka. It cools her out.
(flips through book)
The last time was Monday. Three
days ago. I'm real careful.
(beat)
She hears voices.

WELLS
(a question)
She's schizophrenic.
(off Luke's nod)
Explains the DVT. The alcohol makes
her pass out, she's immobile for
long periods --

LUKE
-- that doesn't happen. She's not
an alcoholic.

WELLS
Fine. She only drinks when you give
it to her.
(end of story)
We put her on blood thinners, you
can probably take her home tomorrow.

Wells stands.

LUKE
It's not the alcohol. It's gotta be
something else.

Out of nowhere --

HOUSE
Of course it's the alcohol. Hello.

As he gets up, moves toward them --

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(re: Wells)
This guy's a professional doctor.
Plays golf and everything, I bet.
(to Luke)
He's not gonna tell you your Mom's
an alcoholic, not without proof.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 9.

4 CONTINUED: (3) 4

HOUSE (CONT'D)
I'm sure he scoped for varices,
checked her esophagus, ran all kinds
of blood tests... Doctors like this,
they don't make assumptions, they do
the work.

Wells doesn't like being jerked around.

WELLS
I'd be happy to refer you the case,
Doctor House, you seem so interested --

HOUSE
-- what case, it's over, you're
sending her home --
(to Luke)
How old is she?

LUKE
You're a doctor?

HOUSE
Own my own stethoscope. Did I ask
you how old she was, I forget --

LUKE
She's 38.

HOUSE
(significant)
Ah.

LUKE
Are you gonna take the case?
5 INT. HOUSE'S OFFICE -- DAY 5

House and the team -- CHASE, FOREMAN and CAMERON. As House

writes "Deep Vein Thrombosis" and "female, 38 yrs," on the
empty whiteboard --

HOUSE
-- Come on people, it didn't just
come in the mail. A 38 year old
woman with no previous symptoms or
history presents with Deep Vein
Thrombosis, how did she get it?

FOREMAN
The usual three big risk factors for
DVT are immobility, injury to the
vein, or the blood itself.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - YELLOW - 7-30-04 10.

5 CONTINUED: 5

CAMERON
An inherited clotting disorder.

FOREMAN
If she's European.

As House scrawls the possibilities on the whiteboard --

HOUSE
Lucy Palmero. Italian. Dr. Chase.
Is Italy in Europe?
(off Chase's look)
You look sleepy, you're from there,
thought I'd give you an easy one.

CHASE
Italy's in Europe. Australia's not.

HOUSE
Fun geographical facts, always good
for bar bets, thanks, she's European,
the Factor V blood disorder's more
likely, what else?

CAMERON
Infections and
inflammatory diseases. CHASE
Lupus, Crohn's Disease, -- She said "lupus," she
rheumatoid arthritis, always says lupus --
they can stimulate
clotting.

FOREMAN
(hard, fast)
-- and pregnancy, especially third
trimester, oral contraceptives,
smoking, diabetes, obesity, and what's
the point here? A DVT's a DVT. Put
her on IV Heparin to prevent new
clots. What's the big mystery?

HOUSE
Fine, you're all sleepy, you need a
clue --
(circles "38," hard, as)
She's thirty-eight years old. She's
twenty years too young to get a Deep
Vein Thrombosis.

FOREMAN
I took care of a twelve year old
girl, soccer player, kicked in the
leg --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 11.

5 CONTINUED: (2) 5

HOUSE
-- There's no trauma; none of the
risk factors.

CAMERON
(skeptical)
You took a history?

HOUSE
I have some notes. Not mine, but
reliable, I think, for the purposes
of this discussion.

He shows them Luke's notebook, and, glancing through it --

HOUSE (CONT'D)
As for immobility, she's real active
now, of course, the paranoia keeps
her limber, but before that, she
worked at the library for twelve
years, putting away books. And this
was before e-books and CD's, so there
was a real weight to --

They've all caught the reference, but it's --

FOREMAN
-- Whoa whoa whoa, back it up.
Paranoia?

HOUSE
Oh yeah, she's schizophrenic. And
her kid wrote this, so it might be a
little biased, having to take care
of his nutso mom and all.
(beat, off the looks)
What. You think there's a connection?
Do we include schizophrenia in the
differential for DVT?

FOREMAN
Well --

HOUSE
-- The answer's no. Abnormal
dopaminergic pathways in the brain
do not cause blood clots.
Schizophrenia does not cause DVT.
(beat)
It's something else.

6 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - PATIENT FLOOR -- DAY 6

House and Wilson walk and talk, mid-conversation --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 12.

6 CONTINUED: 6

HOUSE
On the other hand, we don't know
anything about schizophrenia. So
maybe it is connected.

WILSON
The schizophrenia does explain one
mystery. Why you're so fascinated
by some woman with a bump in her
leg. It's like Picasso deciding to
white wash a fence.

HOUSE
-- Thanks, but I'm more of a Leroi
Neiman man; and this is only about
the DVT; she's 38, she shouldn't --

WILSON
-- right, solve this one, you're
headed for Stockholm --

HOUSE
We don't even know how to treat it.
Come on: fumigation of the vagina?

WILSON
A little louder, I don't think they
heard you in Labor and Delivery --

HOUSE
-- Two thousand years ago, that's
how Galen treated schizophrenics.
The Marcus Welby of ancient Greece.

WILSON
Right. Clearly you're not interested.
HOUSE
(still on his rant)
Because, obviously, all the symptoms
were caused by malposition of the
uterus.

WILSON
There's a better place for it?

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 13.

6 CONTINUED: (2) 6

HOUSE
And since then, what? Lobotomies,
rubber rooms, electric shock -- that
Galen was so primitive.

House hangs a right.

WILSON
Where are you going?

HOUSE
Taking her history; I'm a doctor,
it's what I do.

WILSON
You won't talk to patients because
they lie; but give you somebody who
doesn't know what reality is and
you're--

HOUSE
--If it wasn't for Socrates, a raving,
untreated schizophrenic, we wouldn't
have the Socratic Method, the best
way to teach everything except
juggling chain saws, and without
Isaac Newton, we'd be floating on
the ceiling.

WILSON
Dodging chain saws, no doubt.

HOUSE
And that guitar player, you know, in
that English band. He was great.
At the room, about to enter, he sees Wilson's smug smile and --

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You think it's the schizophrenia.

WILSON
Pretty sure of it.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 14.

6 CONTINUED: (3) 6

HOUSE
Galen was pretty sure about the
fumigation thing.
(a beat, it comes to
him)
Pink Floyd.

He goes inside.

7 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 7

House enters. In bed, Lucy's monitored, got a central line.

Weak, but the schizophrenic symptoms -- the rictus-smile,
the higher voice, the disassociated thought -- are in full
bloom. Luke stands by the bed as House looks down and --

LUKE
Mom, this is --

HOUSE
-- Gregory House, nice to meet you.
Would it be all right if we talked
alone for a while?

LUKE
(anxious)
But you need me --

HOUSE
(re: note book)
-- I've got your chart notes, Doctor.
(hands him a twenty)
Cafeteria's downstairs, get yourself
anything you want, as long as there's
enough left over for a Reuben sandwich
to go, dry, no fries, hold the
pickles. Should run you about five
eighty with tax.
(gives him his pager)
I'll page you when we're done.
(smiles)
Get a receipt.

LUCY
(soft)
No pickles.

Luke leaves. House sits by the bed.

HOUSE
Nice kid. How much do you really
drink?

Off her look:

 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 15.

8 INT. PATIENT FLOOR LOUNGE -- DAY 8

With Chase and Foreman, reeling. As Luke walks past --

FOREMAN
He's really talking to a patient?

CHASE
(nods, then)
I don't know who I am anymore.

9 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 9

As before, Lucy and House --

HOUSE
And the meds?

LUCY
Baseball. I like baseball.

HOUSE
Very nice.

LUCY
Very sad.
(softer)
We went to a game. Me and the boy.

HOUSE
Meds. Not Mets. Medicine.

Lucy turns away. House moves to the other side of the bed.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You take what he tells you to take.
LUCY
(small nod, then)
The Mets lost.
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - BUFF - 8-5-04 16.

10 INT. PATIENT FLOOR LOUNGE -- DAY 10

The team and Wilson. Waiting. Cameron opens an envelope

from the MEDICAL SOCIETY OF NEW JERSEY. The conversation
proceeds as Cameron opens a form, looks at it, realizes,
smiles to herself, and throws it away --

FOREMAN
Some nurse saw him go in; maybe it
never happened; like the guy waking
up in Central Park without a kidney;
it's always a friend of a friend.

WILSON
I saw him.

Beat. They consider the significance of all this...

CHASE
What's he gonna find out that we
couldn't?

Wilson gives him a look - is that what this is? A turf issue?

WILSON
Think of it as calling in a
specialist.

11 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 11

House standing now, leaning against the wall, as --

LUCY
(too loud, with edge)
Why why why? Why why why?
HOUSE
Because I like your voice.

Lucy gives a short, barking laugh. House sits back down.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(re: her leg)
You told Luke it never hurt before.

LUCY
Just rough. They didn't hurt.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 17.

11 CONTINUED: 11

Lucy wiggles her legs underneath the sheets. House takes

note...

HOUSE
(thoughtful)
They didn't.

LUCY
Don't lie to him, Limpy. Lively
Lucy never lies to Lucas.
(softer, serious)
Look what I do to him.
(beat)
Now. My leg hurts now.
(beat, softer)
Yours too.

12 INT. PATIENT FLOOR LOUNGE -- DAY 12

As House approaches from the patient's room...

WILSON
Learn anything from the human
connection?

HOUSE
Yeah. The Mets suck.

They look at each other: that's it?

HOUSE (CONT'D)
Also, for the last couple of months,
she hasn't shaved her legs, because
of the tremors, she cuts herself --

CHASE
-- the tremors aren't new, she must
always cut herself --

HOUSE
-- Exactly. Something changed, two
months ago. I'm thinking the amount
of blood when she cut herself.
(to Foreman, sitting)
Let's do some blood work; collect
and send for clotting studies -- PT,
PTT, Factor V, protein C&S. The
whole shebang.

Luke comes in, hands House his pager and a bagged sandwich.

LUKE
No pickles. And it's cold now.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 18.

12 CONTINUED: 12

CAMERON
If it's a Reuben, that's how he likes
it.

HOUSE
Everyone, this is Luke.

CAMERON
Allison Cameron, glad to meet --

HOUSE
-- Save it, we're busy -- Luke, give
us another half hour with your Mom,
we need to do some tests.

Luke goes off.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
Nice kid. Keep her on the IV Heparin
to prevent future clotting, and take
her off the psych meds -- that way
we can see what's what on the physical
side, and who knows, we might get
more out of her.

They move off. Except for Cameron... He takes a bite of

his sandwich then notices her still standing there.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
Don't worry... no pickles.

She debates, then:

CAMERON
...Happy birthday.
HOUSE
Okay; whose?

He really doesn't know what she's talking about, but Cameron

thinks he just doesn't want to talk about it.

CAMERON
I was just going through your mail,
it was on a form --
(beat)
Happy Birthday.

HOUSE
Oh.

Nothing.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 19.

12 CONTINUED: (2) 12

CAMERON
Just wanted to say it. No big deal.
It's a custom on this planet, you'll
catch on.

Cameron leaves.

13 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 13

Foreman and a Nurse with a rack of blood tubes.

LUCY
No blood. Not mine.

FOREMAN
For the tests, Dr. House told you
about them --

Lucy SPITS in his face.

LUCY
You're gonna steal it. Sell it.

As Foreman wipes his face, the Nurse presses a button. A

moment later, a couple of larger nurses enter --

FOREMAN
Haldol, 5 milligrams, STAT.

LUCY
No!

As a Nurse produces a needle, Lucy struggles, terrified.

Foreman and two Nurses hold her down as --

LUCY (CONT'D)
No... don't...

She twists, sees the Haldol go into the IV. Foreman watches
her face go SLACK and DULL. She stops struggling; he uncaps
the needle to draw the blood...

14 INT. CLINIC - EXAM ROOM 2 -- DAY 14

TERRI - mid-30's, fit, very attractive, in tight fashionable

clothes, and WENDY, her ever so slightly overweight 12 year
old daughter, who has a sore throat and wears baggy jeans.
House walks in as Terri adjusts Wendy's thin gold bracelet.
She's got a matching one.

HOUSE
Well, good news, the lab says it's
not strep, so we're done.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 20.

14 CONTINUED: 14

Wendy hops off the exam table, but --

TERRI
(to her daughter)
Wait a second.

HOUSE
Really not strep. The boys in the
lab, sure, they're hard drinkers,
but they're pros. Plus your kid
actually has none of the symptoms
for strep; I just figured running
the test was easier than arguing
with you. My point is: go.

TERRI
I wanted your opinion, doctor. She's
having a birthday party next week,
and she's upset that I'm getting a
sugarless cake.

WENDY
The other kids hate it.

HOUSE
That's why you're here.

TERRI
Sugar is --

HOUSE
-- You want a doctor to scare her
about the dangers of sugar.

TERRI
She has to get her weight under
control.

Beat. House considers his options, then:

HOUSE
Well, I feel sorry for those other
kids, Wendy, because they don't have
a Mom like yours, who knows that
sugar causes heart disease,
appendicitis, and athlete's foot.

TERRI
That's not fair --

HOUSE
-- Sure it is. I get it.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 21.

14 CONTINUED: (2) 14

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You want her to slim down a little
so she can wear pretty outfits, just
like yours. Love the bracelets.
Hey, what about matching outfits?
You could be twins.
(a character)
My gosh, that can't be your daughter;
it's impossible, you're way too young.

He turns to go, then turns back:

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(to the kid)
And happy birthday.
(to mom)
Get the kid a damn ice cream cake.

And he leaves. Mom tries to hold in her anger; daughter

tries to hold in her glee.

15 INT. CLINIC -- CONTINUOUS 15

House emerges from Exam Room One and Luke is waiting for
him.

LUKE
You drugged her.

HOUSE
Actually, I didn't, I've taken her
off all --

LUKE
-- your guy Foreman gave her Haldol.
HOUSE
(takes a beat, recovers)
We needed blood for tests. I assume
that was the only way to get it.

LUKE
(blocking House)
He knocked her out.

HOUSE
(get out of my way)
I've got a cane and I know how to
use it.

LUKE
(still blocks him)
I hired you, you work for me.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - YELLOW - 7-30-04 22.

15 CONTINUED: 15

HOUSE
Okay. Can I go now, boss?

House walks away, Luke lets him, stays there as --

LUKE
She says the Haldol changes her.
Makes her soul numb.
(softer)
Don't give it to her.

House keeps moving, Luke getting smaller behind him.

16 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- NIGHT 16

In dim light, Luke's by the bed, reading to his whacked out

Mom from a well-worn collection of W.B. Yeats.

LUKE
-- If there be rags enough he will
know her name, and be well pleased
remembering it --
(off Lucy's cough)
You okay?

Even numbed by Haldol, she's heard this poem so many times

from her boy before...

LUCY
(prompting)
...Old days.

Luke smiles and continues...

LUKE
'For in the old days, though she had
young men's praise and old men's
blame, among the poor both old and
young gave her praise --

Another COUGH. A wet SMACK of something. The open book --

suddenly flecked with RED DOTS. Confused, Luke touches the
page, the dots SMEAR.

WIDER to INCLUDE Lucy, sitting up now, helpless, a river of

something dark streaming from her mouth. She retches,
throwing up HUGE VOLUMES of HOT RED BLOOD.

Luke grabs his mom's arm as he yells toward the door --

LUKE (CONT'D)
Help! Somebody help!
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 23.

16A OMITTED 16A

FADE OUT:

END ACT ONE

 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 24.

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

17 INT. HOUSE'S INNER OFFICE -- DAY 17

Foreman and House, mid argument, as --

HOUSE
When I said no psych meds, I'm just
curious, which word didn't you
understand?

FOREMAN
The Haldol had nothing to do with
the bleed, you know that; I used it
purely as a chemical restraint --

HOUSE
-- Great, good to know, then she
won't experience any of those pesky
little side effects you get when
your motives aren't pure.

FOREMAN
(give me a break)
Those side effects are rare and --

HOUSE
-- passing out, increased confusion,
depression -- none of that's gonna
happen; none of that's gonna screw
up our diagnosis, because you just
used it to restrain her. I am so
relieved.
PULLING BACK THRU GLASS to...

18 INT. HOUSE'S OUTER OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS 18

Cameron's there as Chase enters with a big envelope. Foreman

and House go at it, muffled, behind the glass.

CHASE
(re: envelope)
The clotting studies. Pretty fast,
you promise to date the whole lab?

CAMERON
(taking it from him)
No, I save that for emergencies. I
told them the patient bled out two
units and if it happens again she'll
die.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 25.

18 CONTINUED: 18

Chase sits down as Cameron opens the envelope.

CHASE
If it had happened at home, she'd be
dead.
(off Cameron's look)
The ER Doc. He was going to send
her home.

Chase sees House and Foreman through the glass. Gives Cameron
a look re: House and Foreman --

CAMERON
They're picking a movie.

Coming out of the inner office, with Foreman behind him --

HOUSE
Why did this patient bleed out?

Cameron looks up from the results as --

CAMERON
The clotting studies. So far they're
normal --

HOUSE
(he knows)
-- cover your ears if you don't want
me to spoil the ending.
(off the looks)
I couldn't wait, I tried that crazy
new telephone gadget, I think it
could catch on.
(beat)
It's all normal, except for a
prolonged PT time. What's that mean?

Chase and Cameron look at Foreman, they know exactly what it

means: Foreman screwed up.

FOREMAN
Usually it means whoever drew the
blood didn't do it right.
(low, to Chase and
Cameron)
Appreciate the confidence.

HOUSE
Oh, that's right, you drew the blood.
But you were precise, because you
knew the tube was purely for the PT
study.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 26.

18 CONTINUED: (2) 18

FOREMAN
That's right.

HOUSE
And I'm right with you. I trust
this result. For two reasons: a)
you are a good doctor and b) 5
milligrams of IV Haldol makes for a
spectacularly cooperative patient.
(waits, no response)
Fine, I'll go. The prolonged PT
time makes me think she's got a
Vitamin K deficiency, which,
aggravated by the Heparin, caused
the bleed.

FOREMAN
Fine, but it does nothing to explain
the DVT you're so curious about.
(mutters)
Or why.

HOUSE
Hipbone, thighbone. Without vitamin
K, protein C doesn't work, without
protein C, she clots. Thinning and
clotting all at the same time.
(ta da)
DVT and bleeding.

CAMERON
Awfully obscure. What about another
drug interacting with Heparin. An
anti-biotic, like ampicillin. That
could cause a bleed. And some other
drug could --
HOUSE
-- Clever, but she's not on
ampicillin.

CAMERON
But she has it. According to the
book of Luke.
(off Luke's notebook)
-- a couple of months ago, she had a
sore throat, he got her some
ampicillin --

HOUSE
(weak theory)
-- which she refused to take then.
Why would she take an anti-biotic
now?

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 27.

18 CONTINUED: (3) 18

CAMERON
(re: the book)
He just says she didn't take them.
What is it, everybody lies, except
schizophrenics and their children?

CHASE
(re: Cameron's theory)
It's more likely than malnourishment.
Why not scurvy, or the plague?

HOUSE
Gee, I wish my idea was as cool and
with it as yours, and what is yours,
do you have one?

CHASE
Alcohol. Simple.

FOREMAN
First thing we did was scope for
varices; there's no gastritis, no
esophageal tear, LFT's were okay,
plus the kid says--

CHASE
--The kid's a kid. And she's an
alcoholic; even if they're not
schizophrenic, they're liars.
(to House, appealing
on his terms)
Alcohol fits the symptoms. It causes
immobility, which explains the DVT.
It also causes cirrhosis, which
explains the bleed and the prolonged
PT time. Let's go the extra mile.
Ultrasound the liver.

House thinks, then...

HOUSE
Check her place for the ampicillin
and diet.
(to Chase)
And then ultrasound her liver. Let's
find out who's right before she bleeds
to death.

Off House, as they leave --

19 INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR -- DAY 19

Chase and Foreman at the door. Chase tries it. It's locked.
Chase takes out a credit card.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 28.

19 CONTINUED: 19

FOREMAN
House says the kid's sensitive, thinks
he takes good care of her. If we
don't find anything, why let him
know we did it in the first place?
What's the point?

Chase struggles; the credit card's stuck in the doorjamb.

FOREMAN (CONT'D)
Why not just make old Foreman lift
the key from the kid's backpack?

Chase looks up. Foreman grins. Holds the KEY.

20 OMITTED 20

21 INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 21

Chase and Foreman move through a small hallway into a living

room/bedroom, and into Lucy's bedroom. It's neat, simple,
sunny.

Foreman keeps moving (into a bathroom) as Chase sees a chest

of drawers. Chase opens a drawer and finds an entire outfit --
shirt, shorts, underwear, socks -- as Foreman is in the
doorway --

FOREMAN
(entering)
Her medication's not in the bathroom.

Chase looks up from the drawer. A little rocked. Foreman

gets it, too --

FOREMAN (CONT'D)
Oh man. He lays out her clothes.

Chase closes the drawer. Maybe talking about himself, too --

CHASE
Enough organization, enough lists,
you think you can control the
uncontrollable. Fix her meds, fix
her clothes, maybe you can fix her.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 29.

21 CONTINUED: 21

FOREMAN
You pick that up on your psych
rotation?

Chase doesn't answer, just moves to a bureau drawer, opens

it, and --

FOREMAN (CONT'D)
I'll check Luke's room.

Foreman leaves. Chase stops, looks at a pre-schizophrenia

PHOTO of Luke and Lucy at a ball game. She's present,
laughing -- it's heartbreaking.

22 INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - LUKE'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER 22

Foreman's on the single bed, with an open lock box of meds --

twenty bottles of prescriptions, and a print out MEDS LOG.
As Chase enters...

FOREMAN
Trifluoperazine, Thorazine,
Clozarile. They tried everything.
(off a pill bottle)
Abilify.

CHASE
That's what we took her off of, right?

FOREMAN
(off the log)
She'd been on it for a couple of
months. Last refill was the 14th.
One a day, she missed a dose the day
of the DVT, should be 18 left.
Foreman counts. Chase looks at the neat desk, the computer,
the stack of library books on Schizophrenia. The poetry.
The disability info. Paid and unpaid bills.

FOREMAN (CONT'D)
18. The kid's on top of it.
(another bottle)
The ampicillin. Never touched it.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - YELLOW - 7-30-04 29A.

22 CONTINUED: 22

CHASE
(doesn't want House
to be right)
God, I hope it's not a Vitamin K
deficiency.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 30.

22 CONTINUED: (2) 22

And he exits...

23 INT. LUCY'S APARTMENT - TINY KITCHEN -- MOMENTS LATER 23

Chase opens the refrigerator. It's almost empty. Then tries

the freezer.

CHASE
Damn.

The freezer's packed tight with boxes of FROZEN BURGERS.

FOREMAN
Breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's a
Vitamin K deficiency.

Chase literally can't believe it. Off the box of burgers --

24 INT. LAB -- DAY 24

DING - A burger in the microwave.

House removes it and carries it to the table where the rest

of the box from Lucy's freezer sits. House is mid-
conversation with Luke, who's upset --

LUKE
This is the only thing she'll eat --

HOUSE
Problem is, you can't actually live
on the stuff --

LUKE
-- I checked it out. I looked on
the box. The nutritional values are
solid. Plenty of calories, protein --

HOUSE
Vitamin A and C, but no K. That's
why your mom got sick.

LUKE
What's the plan now?

HOUSE
Load her up with Vitamin K.

LUKE
That's it?

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 31.

24 CONTINUED: 24

HOUSE
If it all checks out, you can take
her home in a couple of days.
(Luke is upset)
Oh God, you're upset about something;
you're going to open up to me, aren't
you?

LUKE
It's my fault.

HOUSE
Here we go.
(has to get him off
this)
I'm gonna say this once. You've
done a very good job taking care of
your mother; if this was all she'd
eat, what could you do? Gosh, just
being a kid is a full time job --

LUKE
-- Shut up. I'm 18. I should be
able to take care of my mom.
(beat)
I almost killed her.

HOUSE
Good example. Just the time it takes
to express all those ridiculous,
self-centered teenage ideas -- I
don't envy your schedule.

House takes a bite of the burger, pleased.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
No pickles.

LUKE
My mom doesn't like 'em either.

HOUSE
Smart woman.

Luke knows she once was a smart woman. Beat, then...

LUKE
When I was a kid I got her a hot dog
once, tried to sneak some relish on
it to see if she'd notice. She yelled
at me.

HOUSE
You got off easy.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 32-33.

24 CONTINUED: (2) 24

LUKE
Before she got sick, I didn't like
how bossy she was, always telling me
what to do, the right way to do it.
Never thought I'd miss that.

House digs in. Meeting's over. Luke hefts his backpack to

leave, and winces. House notices. Re: Luke's wrist:

HOUSE
You should get that looked at...

25 OMITTED 25

26 OMITTED 26
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 34.

27 INT. HOUSE'S INNER OFFICE -- DAY 27

With Luke, House SLAPS the wrist X-Rays on a light board and
studies them.

HOUSE
It's not broken.
(indicates)
This, right here... The epiphyseal
plate... otherwise known as the growth
plate --

LUKE
-- what's wrong with it?

HOUSE
An amazing thing, this bone. If you
know how to read it, it can tell you
how old someone really is. Exactly
how old.

LUKE
Great, it's not broken. Thanks.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 35.

27 CONTINUED: 27

House is looking at the X-Ray.

HOUSE
(studying)
Not even 15. Almost though. Two
weeks away. A month, maybe --

LUKE
-- Last week. I was 15 last week.

HOUSE
Happy birthday to us. If you're
going to lie, go big, go 21; then
you won't need your crazy mom to
help you buy vodka.

LUKE
Great, thanks for the tip. When I
bring my mom home, is there anything
I need to know about taking care of
her?

As Luke takes out his notebook --

HOUSE
I suppose your big worry isn't the
booze. You're 15; with basically no
mom. If Child Welfare let kids get
away with that they wouldn't need
all those nice foster homes; that'd
make them sad.

LUKE
They'd put her someplace, too. My
life is working.
HOUSE
Not the word I'd use. Most 15 year
old kids are doing what they're
supposed to be doing, you know --
huffing glue, catching crabs --

LUKE
If you turn me in, I'll sue you.
(the X-ray)
That's privileged information.

HOUSE
Oh relax, that's not even your X-
ray.
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 35A.

28 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 28

Lucy's asleep as Cameron enters. Chase has just started the

ultrasound.

CAMERON
Vitamin K's not good enough for you?
You're still testing for cirhossis?

CHASE
(needs to know)
Doctors never cancel tests.

Cameron takes a look at the monitor, marking the read out --

CAMERON
(re: Lucy)
She's awfully calm.

CHASE
(doesn't approve)
House wrote new orders.

He grabs the empty airplane bottle of vodka off the

nightstand, puts it in his lab coat pocket.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 36.

28 CONTINUED: 28

Chase manipulates the Ultrasound on Lucy's stomach.

CAMERON
A little bit of scarring. Not much,
not enough to --

CHASE
-- It's cirrhosis.
(a little edge)
But she doesn't drink.

Chase looks away from the monitor, at Lucy, still sleeping.

CAMERON
Congratulations, you win.

Cameron reacts to something she sees on the monitor -- a

lightly outlined shape on the liver -- speckled.

CAMERON (CONT'D)
Actually... nobody wins.

Chase moves to the monitor.

CHASE
A tumor. Cystic?

CAMERON
(wish it was)
Solid mass. Cancer.

29 OMITTED 29

30 INT. HOUSE'S INNER OFFICE -- DAY 30

The ultrasound and an MRI photo are up on the light board.

Wilson examines them. The team and House await his verdict.

WILSON
The Vitamin K caused the DVT, and
aggravated the liver, the tumor's
the real reason for the blood
problems. The tumor's the problem.

Off House's tight nod, as he turns away --

 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 37.

31 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - OUTSIDE LUCY'S ROOM -- NIGHT 31

As Luke comes out of the room, Cameron and Wilson approach,

and --

WILSON
I'm Dr. Wilson. Dr. Cameron and I
need to talk to you about what's
going on.

LUKE
Sure.

WILSON
We need to talk to your mom, too.

They enter the room. Close the door. CAMERA SLIDES down to
the window, watches Wilson and Cameron deliver the bad news
to mother and son.

As Luke asks questions and takes notes, NOTICE that Lucy

says nothing. She's FOCUSED only on her son. Nothing else
exists.

Luke puts his book down. Stands up. Asks something. Wilson
nods. Luke turns away, doesn't want his face seen - he thinks
he might cry. Lucy's eyes follow him.

Luke takes a few deep breaths, doesn't cry. He turns back,

picks up his book and asks another question - he has to handle
this. If he stops he won't be able to start again.

Off Lucy's unreadable look as she watches her son take care
of her --

FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - TAN - 8-11-04 38.

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

32 OMITTED 32*

33 INT. HOUSE'S OFFICE -- DAY 33

House watches his team debate the limited treatment options.

FOREMAN *
Needle biopsy confirms hepatocellular *
carcinoma. A T2 lesion. Stage 2. *
It's big, five point eight
centimeters.

CHASE
We do nothing, she dies from liver
failure within 60 days.

CAMERON
She needs a transplant.

HOUSE
That's gonna happen.

As Wilson walks in --

CAMERON
(thinks it should)
She's 38 years old. She's a mother --

HOUSE
-- A schizophrenic mother with no
money, on the public dole, in fact,
who knocks back vodka when a breeze
blows her way.

FOREMAN
Mickey Mantle had a whole bar named
after him. He got a transplant.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 39.

33 CONTINUED: 33

HOUSE
Lucy can't switch hit. Plan B,
surgery to resect the tumor.

He looks at Wilson:

CHASE
Joe Bergin does the gamma knife thing.
Laser cauterizes while it cuts; saves
more liver.

WILSON
The tumor's way too big. He won't
even consider it.

FOREMAN
Not a big risk-taker, Bergin.

HOUSE
Won't drink milk on its expiration
date.

WILSON
He has no discretion. 5.8 centimeters
is past surgical guidelines.

HOUSE
You think he'd do it at 4.6?

CAMERON
Why don't we say it's zero, then we
don't need him at all. Tumors grow;
they don't shrink.

HOUSE
This one does.
Off House's look: he has a plan.

34 OMITTED 34

35 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 35

Wilson and Cameron watch Lucy's liver on the ULTRASOUND

monitor. As he fills a big hypodermic needle, standing over
Lucy --

WILSON
Ninety-five percent ethanol.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 40.

35 CONTINUED: 35

Guided by the MRI, Wilson injects the needle into Lucy's

liver --

INSIDE THE NEEDLE - VFX

Follow the needle's path to her LIVER, and as the alcohol is

injected in the tumor --

WILSON (V.O.) (CONT'D)

The ethanol dehydrates the tumor
cells --

SEE the tumor SHRINK, and HEAR a SUCKING SOUND, as

WILSON (V.O.) (CONT'D)

-- Literally sucks them dry --

RESUME - SCENE

WILSON (CONT'D)
It shrinks the tumor temporarily.

CAMERON
How temporarily?

WILSON
If we're lucky, just long enough to
fool the surgeon.

Wilson withdraws the needle --

36 INT. CLINIC - EXAM ROOM 1 -- DAY 36

House with a patient named CLARK -- 30ish, bit of a combover --

as Clark HICCUPS. Looks miserable.
CLARK
I've tried everything.

HOUSE
(off the chart)
Pulling the tongue, ice bags on the
throat, hitting yourself in the
face... the groin pinch, well, you've
sure covered all the normal medical
bases.
(an idea)
How are you hitting yourself? Open
hand or fist?

CLARK
Open hand.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 41.

36 CONTINUED: 36

HOUSE
(should work)
That's how they teach it at Harvard
Med. How hard, though?

As Cuddy comes in the door, Clark WHACKS himself across the

face.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(should've worked)
That's about right.
(to Cuddy)
Hiccups.

CUDDY
I need to speak to you. Now.

It's a choice between Cuddy and Clark. Not a good choice.

HOUSE
I think I have to go pee pee.
(to patient, as he
leaves)
Dial it up a notch, try one more shot.

And he walks out. Cuddy follows as Clark hits himself a

little harder and then... HICCUPS.

37 INT. MEN'S ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER 37

House splashes water on his face, looks up to SEE Cuddy in

the mirror behind him; she followed him in.

HOUSE
Girl in the boys' bathroom, ooh, very
dramatic. Must be very important,
what she has to say to me.

CUDDY
Yesterday your patient's tumor was
5.8 centimeters, today it's 4.6; how
does that happen?

HOUSE
My guess would be: "this Dr. House
must be very, very good; why am I
wasting him at the clinic?"
(heads for the urinals)
I wash before and after.

CUDDY
You also requisitioned 20 ccs of
ethanol. Which patient would that
be for? Or are you planning a party?

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 42.

37 CONTINUED: 37

HOUSE
Do me a favor?

Cuddy turns on the water.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
I was going to say 'leave,' but hey,
that works.

CUDDY
You shrunk the tumor.

HOUSE
Only way to get this guy to do the
surgery.

CUDDY
Fraud? Fraud was the only way?

A Doctor comes into the bathroom. Cuddy gives him a look,

and the Doctor heads right back out.

CUDDY (CONT'D)
There's a reason we have those
guidelines.

HOUSE
I know. To save lives. Specifically,
doctors' lives. And not so much
their lives as their lifestyles.
Don't want to operate on anybody
really sick, they might die, spoil
our batting average.

CUDDY
Bergin has a right to know what he's
operating on.

HOUSE
True. I got all focused on her right
to live and forgot. You do what you
think is right.

Pompous jerk. She turns to go, then turns back --

CUDDY
Your patient's kid slept here three
nights in a row. I'm not running a
homeless shelter.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 43.

37 CONTINUED: (2) 37

HOUSE
(give me a break)
He's 15 years old; he takes care of
his mom.

CUDDY
It's supposed to be the other way
around.

Cuddy leaves. Beat. House is still at the urinal. Finally,

he sighs...

38 INT. HOUSE'S INNER OFFICE -- DAY 38

House is working. Cameron enters.

CAMERON
...You really didn't know?

HOUSE
No, I didn't, and frankly, I'm angry.
Which I'm guessing is the correct
response. Of course, I'll know better
once you tell me what you're talking
about.

CAMERON
Your birthday.

HOUSE
Oh. Anger was a bad guess.
(then)
Normally, I put on a festive hat and
celebrate the fact that the earth
has circled the sun one more time.
I really didn't think it would make
it this year, but darn it if it wasn't
the little engine that could all
over again.

CAMERON
It's a birthday. It's an excuse to
be happy. You think that's lame?

She feels sorry for him - and that makes him miserable.

HOUSE
Why are you here? Did you buy me a
pony?

CAMERON
(there's nothing to
do)
I'm just waiting for the surgery --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - TAN - 8-11-04 44-47.*

38 CONTINUED: 38

HOUSE
-- Loeb's 4th law of medicine. Go
scrub in.

38A INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SURGICAL SUITE -- DAY 38A*

Cameron and DR. JOE BERGIN move through the doors, immediately *
post surgery, wrung out from a tense operation, blood on *
their scrubs. PUSHING CAMERA BACK, real smooth, but with *
sharp edge underneath --

BERGIN *
-- that tumor didn't just walk into *
a bar and buy itself a double shot
of ethanol. Someone shrunk it down -- *

CAMERON *
-- I'm sorry, Doctor Bergin, it was *
very very wrong -- *

BERGIN *
-- House is lucky I didn't just close *
her up. He tries it again, that's *
what happens. *

CAMERON *
I'll pass it on. *

Bergin moves past CAMERA as we HOLD Cameron, who stops. Off *

her small smile -- the plan worked, they got what they wanted --*

39 OMITTED 39*
THRU THRU
41 41
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - YELLOW - 7-30-04 48.

42 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 42

Lucy's sleeping. Chase and Luke talk quietly in the corner.

Luke's got his notebook out --

CHASE
It looks like the surgeon got it
all, but she's going to have to have
some chemotherapy --

LUKE
(writing)
-- what kind is it?

CHASE
Stop. Writing.

Luke does.

CHASE (CONT'D)
(he knows...)
If you stop for a second it won't
all fall apart. Give yourself a
break once in a while. The fact is,
your Mom's gonna take an extra drink
once in awhile --

LUKE
-- she won't, she doesn't --

CHASE
Fine.
(beat)
There are some things you can't fix,
that's all I'm saying.
A beat. Luke nods. As if he gets it, but --

LUKE
That's how you'd handle it. Something
like this. You'd give up.

Not really surprised, Chase realizes Luke didn't hear any of

it.

CHASE
No. I'd do it just like you.

Chase pulls a chemo pamphlet from his coat, hands it to Luke

and --

CHASE (CONT'D)
It's an infusion.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 49.

42 CONTINUED: 42

CHASE (CONT'D)
She'll have a drain in her abdomen,
you're going to have to check for
possible infection --

Luke is writing again as --

TRINA WYATT (O.S.)

Lucas Palmero?

She's in the doorway. 40ish, official looking. Moving in,

talking low, aware of the sleeping Lucy --

TRINA WYATT (CONT'D)

Trina Wyatt. Child Services, state
of New Jersey.

CHASE
Can I help you? This is a private--

TRINA WYATT
(moving toward Lucas)
He's 15 years old, a minor, in a
very tough living situation. We
want to help him.

LUKE
I don't need your help.

CHASE
(genuinely surprised)
Fifteen?

TRINA WYATT
Lucas. You have to come with us.
Right now.
LUKE
I don't think so.

CHASE
Where are you taking him?

TRINA WYATT
Until the investigation is complete,
and a determination is made, he'll
be housed at Children's Services --

LUKE
-- I don't want to be housed. I
live with my mother.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 50.

42 CONTINUED: (2) 42

TRINA WYATT
Not for the next few days. Come on.
Let's not make this difficult.

Lucy stirs. Luke looks at her. Still asleep. You can see
it in his face -- he's smart, knows he has to go with them,
but just might not do it.

MALE TRUANT OFFICER (O.S.)

How we doin'?

A uniformed TRUANT OFFICER in the doorway. Implied muscle.

TRINA WYATT
(at Luke, a question)
I think we're okay.

A tense beat. Then, kissing his Mom on her forehead --

LUKE
(whispers)
I love you, Mom.

Lucy grabs his hand. Her hand shakes on his. She's awake.

LUCY
The Mets lost. You remember?

LUKE
I remember.

LUCY
I love you.

Luke is crying. Lucy closes her eyes, turns away. Luke

lets go of her hand, turns fast, blows by the Truant Officer,
and leaves the room. Trina Wyatt and the officer follow
him, and, off Lucy alone in bed, and Chase...

43 INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY - MAIN FLOOR -- DAY 43

House and Wilson, mid-conversation, walking toward the

elevators --

WILSON
Cuddy hasn't said anything about
pushing Bergin to finish the surgery?

HOUSE
Not a word. Some kind of mind game.
She's waiting for me to crack.

WILSON
Either that or she's just being nice.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 51.

43 CONTINUED: 43

House glances wryly to Wilson, then notices Luke come out of

the elevators fast, pissed off, followed by Trina Wyatt and
the Truant officer. House stops. He knows something's up.

HOUSE
(not a chance of that)
Right.

Ten feet away, Luke looks up, and House can see tears on his
face. House steps toward Luke, and, as Luke blows right by
him (bumping him a little) --

LUKE
(bitter)
You said you wouldn't call. You're
a real bastard, you know?

HOUSE
Yeah, I get that a lot.

House watches Luke head for the front door, trailed by the
Truant Officer and Trina Wyatt. TIGHT ON HOUSE, thoughtful,
putting something together... Luke exits. House turns to
Wilson, and --

HOUSE (CONT'D)
...I don't think mom's crazy.

FADE OUT:

END ACT THREE

 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 52.

ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

44 INT. CUDDY'S OFFICE -- DAY 44

Cuddy works. House enters - there's something he's got to

check out.

CUDDY
What?

HOUSE
You paged me.

CUDDY
Three days ago. I forget why.

She goes back to her work.

HOUSE
...Children's Services; they do nice
work; you did the right thing ratting
the kid out.

She reacts - this reaction is what he came to see, and

assess...

CUDDY
You got me pegged as the anonymous
caller?

HOUSE
If in doubt, I always blame you.

He continues to study her as:

HOUSE (CONT'D)
None of my people even knew he was
15, which doesn't impress me, but
gets them off the hook. Tag, you're
it.

CUDDY
Never thought I'd say this to you,
but maybe you've gotten too involved
in this case. On a personal level.

HOUSE
It's like you can see right through
me. I feel so vulnerable.

And he leaves.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 53.

44 CONTINUED: 44

HOUSE (V.O.) (CONT'D)

(reading, very low)
I have gone about the house, gone up
and down.

44A INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY 44A

ON THE BOOK. House reads from the collection of Yeats.

It's open to the page that's spattered in blood.

REVEAL, he's reading to Lucy, who's still weak from the

surgery, in bed, hooked up to a machine. Eyes closed.

HOUSE
(very low)
Among the poor both old and young
gave her praise.

He shuts the book, hard. Lucy opens her eyes.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You called Social Services. It was
you.

LUCY
No. No no no.

Her eyes are sharp. Manic.

HOUSE
It's okay. I get it. He'll have an
easier time dealing with the system.
Sure, he won't be with his real
mother... but his real mother's sick.
(beat)
Someone needs to take care of him.
LUCY
I'm not gonna live here.

HOUSE
What would his future have been?
Taking you to chemo and back on the
bus... He'll have to fit school in
somewhere, too. And even if the
cancer's in complete remission, he'll
still have a mother who hears voices.

LUCY
(very low)
Talk no more. Talk no more.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 54.

44A CONTINUED: 44A

HOUSE
'Look what I do to him; Limpy.' You
said that.

She's got a little drool. House wipes it off.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(re: the bedside phone)
I checked the phone records. Only
one call from this room; smart, they
charge you two bucks a call. It was
to Social Services, State of New
Jersey.

Lucy's mouth stiffens in a schizophrenic smile. A tear rolls

down her cheek. House gets up.

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You're his mother. You couldn't do
it to him anymore.
(beat)
Good for you.

Lucy closes her eyes. House turns out the light, and leaves.

45 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - ADMIN. FLOOR -- DAY 45

Wilson and House, walk and talk away from House's office.
House is wound up, working on a theory --

WILSON
Schizophrenics can make rational
decisions.

HOUSE
On the small stuff, yeah. When to
sleep, what to drink, maybe -- you
know -- no lemonade, but I'll take
some hemlock if you've got it.

WILSON
-- Your man Socrates --

HOUSE
-- but giving up your son, because
it's better for him, that's so sane,
so rational -- self-sacrifice is not
a symptom of schizophrenia, it
excludes the diagnosis.

WILSON
(a question)
She's not schizophrenic.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GOLDENROD - 8-2-04 55.

45 CONTINUED: 45

HOUSE
She's 36 when she first presents --

WILSON
-- A little late, but within the
range --

HOUSE
-- The internist sends her to the
shrink, one shrink sends her to the
next; she tells all of them she's
not crazy. The drugs don't work --
why would they, if she's not a head
case -- she got clearer when I took
her off the psych meds.

Wilson stops. Off his look:

HOUSE (CONT'D)
You think I'm crazy.

WILSON
Yeah, but that's not the problem.
(beat)
Didn't we just leave your office?

WIDER to SEE House has led them back to his office.

HOUSE
I like to walk.

And House returns to his office, leaving Wilson in the

hallway.

46 INT. HOUSE'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT 46

Not much furniture. Functional. Gliding past a clock that
says 3:36AM, we HEAR a piano, Bach (same as we heard in the
operating room).

House is alone at the grand piano in the big empty apartment.

Still in his clothes. Thoughtful. He's a good player.

He stops. Takes a pill. Then, with one finger, he PLUNKS

out the first nine notes of Happy Birthday.

Then, suddenly --

HOUSE - BY HIS DOOR

Rummaging through his bag, looking hard for something. As

he finds the copy of Luke's medical journal --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - BUFF - 8-5-04 56.

46 CONTINUED: 46

HOUSE - AT HIS DESK

Off an entry in the journal, he stands, hunts for a book,

yanks it from the shelf -- the MEDICAL SOCIETY OF NEW JERSEY --

HOUSE - ON THE PHONE

Punches out a number from a listing in the book and --

HOUSE
(into phone)
Dr. Jeffrey Walters?... This is Greg
House, I'm a doctor over at... oh is
it? I'm sorry, my watch must've
stopped... I'm calling about a patient
you diagnosed about 18 months ago,
woman named Lucille Palmero. I was
wondering if you did any tests for --

The CLICK, the guy's hung up --

JUMP CUT TO:

HOUSE - ON ANOTHER CALL

Another name from Luke's book --

HOUSE (CONT'D)
(English accent)
Oh, how terribly foolish of me,
doctor, is it that late? I'm calling
from London, you see, must've gotten
my times mixed up --

CLICK. Another hang up.

WIDER - HIS APARTMENT

House grabs Luke's book and is gone. The door slams behind
him.

47 INT. HOUSE'S OFFICE -- NIGHT 47

House and the team, called out of their sleep, and not real
happy about it.

FOREMAN
Drooling, spastic movements, attention
loss, rocking -- this woman has
classic schizophrenia --

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 57.

47 CONTINUED: 47

HOUSE
I have a headache. That's my only
symptom. I go see three doctors:
(to Foreman)
The neurologist says it's an aneurysm.
(to Cameron)
The immunologist says I've got hay
fever.
(to Chase)
The intensivist can't be bothered,
sends me to a shrink who tells me
I'm punishing myself because I want
to have sex with my mommy.

FOREMAN
(pointed)
-- maybe you're just not getting
enough sleep --

HOUSE
Pick your specialist and you pick
your disease.

Cameron yawns, she can't help it, she's half asleep.

CAMERON
This isn't about the DVT? Or the --

HOUSE
(frustrated)
It was never about the DVT.

FOREMAN
Get over to Pompeii, warn them about
the volcano.
HOUSE
If it's not schizophrenia, what else
presents with psych symptoms?

A beat. House is not going to get off this.

CAMERON
Porphyria.

CHASE
Madness of King George.

CAMERON
Kuru. Beri-Beri.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 58.

47 CONTINUED: (2) 47

HOUSE
Lucy Palmero likes cheeseburgers, I
don't think she's been eating brains
in southeast Asia.

CAMERON
The copper thing. What's it called?
It's genetic, body accumulates too
much copper.

CHASE
Wilson's Disease.

HOUSE
Very rare... Nice. I like it.

A beat.

FOREMAN
(edge)
If any of us did this, you'd fire
us.

HOUSE
Funny, I thought I encouraged you to
question --

FOREMAN
-- you're not questioning. You're
hoping. You want it to be Wilson's.
Give her a couple of drugs, boom,
she's okay.

House picks up Luke's book.

HOUSE
June 17. Appointment with a Dr.
Karn--

CAMERON
--She didn't go; she didn't keep a
single shrink appointment he made
after --

HOUSE
-- No. Karn isn't a shrink; I looked
it up. He's an ophthalmologist.
Why would she need her eyes checked?

CAMERON
(this is thin)
Wilson's presents with cataracts. I
think.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - GREEN - 7-30-04 59.

47 CONTINUED: (3) 47

HOUSE
Yes, it does. It can also cause the
slight cirrhosis Dr. Chase so eagerly
attributed to alcohol. Why are we
still here?

48 OMITTED 48

49 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- NIGHT 49

BLACK

HOUSE (V.O.)
Lucy? Lucy?

It's her POV; she opens her eyes and sees House and the team
around her bed.

NORMAL SHOT

She's groggy.

FOREMAN
Can you sit up for a second?

Lucy's eyes WIDEN, she thinks she's dreaming.

LUCY
No thank you.

FOREMAN
Please, sit up.

They help her up.

HOUSE
I don't think you're crazy.

LUCY
Neither do I.
(laughs)
But I'm crazy.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - CHERRY - 8-9-04 60.

49 CONTINUED: 49

House nods to Chase, who puts Lucy's face into a SLIT LAMP
(like at the ophthalmologist's's office.)

TIGHT - LUCY'S EYES - THRU SLIT LAMP (SPECIAL VISUAL EFFECT)

As Foreman RACKS Focus to see the different depths of field

in her eyes, and suddenly -- clear, strong and very dramatic,
the copper colored Keyser-Fleisher rings come into view.

FOREMAN
I guess we should start treating her
for Wilsons.

HOUSE
That's what I'd do.

Pleased, he heads for the exit.

DISSOLVE TO:

50 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY (MOS) 50

PANNING OFF the IV Pole as a Nurse starts penicillamine and

potassium sulfide to SEE Lucy in bed with full schizophrenic
symptoms -- tremors, drooling, staring -- and then, as we
MOVE OFF her in a CIRCLE around the room, we HEAR, in a clear
voice we've never heard before --

LUCY (V.O.)
(low)
"I will talk no more of books or the
long war/But walk by the dry thorn
until I have found/Some beggar
sheltering from the wind/and
there/Manage the talk until her name
come round. If there be rags enough
he will know her name/And be well
pleased remembering it --

-- And come right back to Lucy, (five days later) sitting up

in bed now, transformed -- present, bright-eyed, back to
normal. A person we've never seen. Glasses on, reading
Yeats as --

LUCY (CONT'D)
For in the old days/Though she had
young men's praise and old men's
blame/Among the poor both old and
young gave her praise.

She puts down the book.

 HOUSE - Ep5502 - TAN - 8-11-04 60A.

51 INT. LUCY'S HOSPITAL ROOM -- LATER 51

The IV's are gone, Lucy's sitting up in bed. Ready to leave

the hospital. As Chase enters -- *

CHASE *
Hi, Mrs. Palmero, you all set to go
home?

LUCY
Almost.

She looks at her watch. Waiting.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - TAN - 8-11-04 61.

51 CONTINUED: 51

LUKE (O.S.)
Mom?

WIDER to REVEAL Luke, standing in the doorway. Chase watches *

as Luke crosses the room and embraces her. *

She pulls back to take a good long look at him.

LUKE (CONT'D)
(not sure what to
expect)
How are you?

LUCY
A little tired. But good. I feel
good now.

She hugs him again. Holds him extremely tightly --

LUCY (CONT'D)
(very low)
I am so sorry.

LUKE
Mom.

LUCY
It's okay.

LUKE
Mom.
(she's squeezing his
neck)
You're hurting me.

She releases him. Tears on her face.

LUCY
Oh boy.
(beat)
You really need a haircut.

And for the first time in years, Luke is a child again, in

his mother's arms. As a Nurse comes into the room with a
wheelchair for checkout, Chase leaves. Off Luke and his Mom -- *

52 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - PATIENT FLOOR -- DAY 52

Luke is pushing his mom's wheelchair, waiting for the

elevator. The door opens, revealing House and Wilson.

LUCY
Dr. House.

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 62.

52 CONTINUED: 52

Lucy's glad to see him. Luke isn't, he's about to pull his
Mom away, but --

LUCY (CONT'D)
Luke, come on, we're making Dr. House
wait.

HOUSE
It's okay. He can get another ride.

LUCY
Don't be silly. Luke.

It's been a long time since he's heard his Mom's voice like
that. They get on. The doors close.

53 INT. ELEVATOR -- CONTINUOUS 53

An awkward beat.

LUCY
I'm being discharged.

HOUSE
I heard a rumor.

LUCY
Thank God I had cancer, huh?

House smiles, knows what she's getting at.

LUCY (CONT'D)
It's terrible having everybody think
you're nuts.

HOUSE
(works for me)
Really?

LUCY
I called to thank you, did you get
the message?

HOUSE
Yes.
(thinks, then)
You're welcome.

A beat. The car's moving. Lucy can't see House and Luke
behind her, but she can HEAR, and REACT to:

(CONTINUED)
 HOUSE - Ep5502 - PINK - 7-27-04 63.

53 CONTINUED: 53

LUKE
(very low)
I'm never thanking you. You turned
me in.

Lucy looks a little worried. Wilson wonders what's up too.

LUKE (CONT'D)
I told you, we were doing okay, and
it was none of your --

HOUSE
-- I don't care how you were living.
I just wanted you out of my life.

Lucy reacts, relieved that House is covering for her. House

glances to Wilson, then:

HOUSE (CONT'D)
That's why I had Dr. Cuddy call Social
Services.

DING. The doors open.

LUCY
Luke. Come on. Let's go.

54 INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY - MAIN FLOOR -- CONTINUOUS 54

Luke pushes her out; House and Wilson step out behind them,
watching them cross the lobby, heading for the doors...

WILSON
You okay?

HOUSE
...You were right. It wasn't the
DVT. It was the schizophrenia.

WILSON
I know.

HOUSE
She's not nearly as interesting
anymore.

HOLD House, alone, and --

FADE TO BLACK:

WILSON (V.O.)
Isn't your birthday around now?

THE END